Change Your Brain Every Day - A Bullied Kid’s Incredible Comeback Story, with Justin Wren

Episode Date: November 18, 2019

When MMA fighter-turned social activist Justin Wren was bullied by his classmates, he struggled to find a reason for living. He eventually found that wrestling and mixed martial arts gave him an outlet for his frustrations, but something was still missing. In the first episode of a series with the “Fight for the Forgotten” author, Justin describes what happened when he made the shift from fighting people to fighting FOR people.

Welcome to the Brain Warriors Way podcast. I'm Dr. Daniel Amen. And I'm Tana Amen. In our podcast, we provide you with the tools you need to become a warrior for the health of your brain and body. The Brain Warriors Way podcast is brought to you by Amen Clinics, where we have been transforming lives for 30 years using tools like brain spec imaging to personalize treatment to your brain. For more information, visit amenclinics.com. The Brain Warriors Way podcast is also brought to you by BrainMD, where we produce the highest quality nutraceuticals to support the health of your brain and body. To learn more, go to BrainMD.com. produce the highest quality nutraceuticals to support the health of your brain and body. To learn more, go to brainmd.com.

Welcome, everyone. We have a special treat for you this week. We have a champion, Justin Wren, who's been a wrestler, a mixed martial artist, but really more a social activist. And his organization, his book, his website is Fight for the Forgotten. And I'm so honored to have you here on the Brain Warrior's Way podcast. Because what we believe here is you're at a war for the health of your brain. Everywhere you go, someone's trying to give you bad food or put a toxic thought in your head, and you have to be arm prepared and aware. Tell us your story, because it's really interesting. When you were young, you were actually bullied. Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Dr. Ema, for having me on the show. Personally, I'm a fan of the Brain Warrior podcast. I've

watched at least 20 episodes of you and Tana, and you guys are so great. And so I'm so excited to be here, to be a patient. And yeah, as a fighter or growing up, I did get very heavily bullied. And it was a daily fight. And that was the biggest fight I've had in my life was against depression and suicidal ideation and even a suicide attempt. And yeah, sitting at the lunch table by myself or being ridiculed, publicly shamed, very methodically planned out bullying moments in front of the entire school. Or having the back of my head hit with a football helmet and my clothes thrown out into the gym with the girls' volleyball team after I'm showering. And different things like that made me feel worthless. I was told in this bullying moment in front of the school,

you're worthless and you should just kill yourself. And so at 13 years old, you believe the things people say about you. And yeah, I felt worthless. I didn't feel good enough. And I contemplated and seriously considered and tried to kill myself. Do you have any sense why they picked on you? I think I was an easier target. I didn't speak up for myself. I looked different. I was heavy set. I was probably the last kid in the US with a Chili Bowl haircut and pimples on my face.

Just different things. But yeah, I think it was because I didn't, not necessarily fight back, but I couldn't stand up for myself. And I was just an easy target. And is that part of why you got into wrestling? Yes, it was. Absolutely. To me, wrestling is a martial art.

And when I found the UFC, martial arts and the MMA fighters they were martial artists I fell in love with the chess match of it the different styles of Olympics of wrestling two different styles and also our NCAA style or American style of wrestling and jiu-jitsu and kickboxing and boxing and and when they combine all those it's just unlike any other sport to me it's like a human chess match. But I was first originally drawn to it because I'm like, oh, these guys don't get bullied. And so that's why I entered. And that's probably most MMA fighters.

7, 8, 9 out of 10, I'm just guessing there. But most of us have been bullied. We weren't the bully. And we found martial arts through that so there's a concept i write about in my book feel better fast and make it last and that is post-traumatic growth and yes when you're bullied um often the trauma we have as children, it shapes a lot of our thoughts about ourselves. It could shape our relationships. But when people take the trauma and for whatever reason you didn't kill yourself and then you turn it into something productive like becoming a champion wrestler, that is called post-traumatic growth. And when did you find out you were good at wrestling? Oh, I definitely wasn't in the first year, year and a half, because I won one match by one point.

And I was pretty terrible. But I had two Olympic gold medalist that, uh, just, and I had a great mom and you've met her and, uh, she believed in me and kept pushing me to get better. And so it, uh, it just kind of clicked one day. I went in there from the bullying moment, probably just thinking about this, you, you spurred something, but, uh, I was very hesitant and timid on the wrestling mats. And so I'd telegraph everything that I would do before I did it. And so the guys knew how to defend it right away. Um, and I would just get dominated. I mean, guys would laugh as they were pinning me and, uh, or tell me what they were going to do and then do it because, um, I was just, it went from an easy

target to then an easy match, um, to where I was the Texas kid. And that's not a very renowned wrestling state. But then I started to get confidence once I saw other people believing in me and telling me I could do it. And they told me to visualize and to have imagery in my head of being a champion. And so the coaches told me uh write down state champion and put that somewhere you could see it and so i put it so you were visualizing yeah and and it's a good point because whenever almost anyone starts something new they suck at it because you don't know how to do it right but over time with the right coaches and that's what we try to do on the Brain Warriors Way podcast, try to coach you over time. Nobody just knows, right? And so as you got better, tell us a little bit about the

trajectory of your career. Well, for me, it was a real outlet. It was something I could pour myself into and it was a passion and a purpose. And now that I share with kids that are being bullied, I say you got to find that whether it's art or music or you got to find something to focus on. That's a positive thing in your life. And so, yeah, I poured myself into wrestling, became a national champion in that state, champion 10 times, five-time All-American, two-time national champion, went and lived at the Olympic Training Center. I'll say that again.

State champion. 10 times, five-time All-American, and a two-time national champion. And from there, yeah, lived at the Olympic Training Center, was competing all around the country and in the world. I'd kickboxed in Amsterdam, wrestled in Moscow. I came back and I fought even at the main event at the Hard Rock in Las Vegas. I was the youngest in the UFC on the Ultimate Fighter TV show. And yeah, I was great at what I did. But what I've learned through this life is it's one thing to fight four people in a competition. And it's something completely different and more fulfilling and so much more contentment when you fight four people in a competition and it's something completely different and more fulfilling and so much more contentment when you fight four people. Um, and so that's my real mission in life is to fight four people. And how did that happen? I would say that fighting, uh, didn't fulfill me like I thought it would being a child. I, I, as my childhood dream to be a fighter and I did that and I became pretty good at it and

professional and, uh, and I would get my hand raised and sometimes I would literally think in the cage, is this all, is this it? And, uh, it didn't fulfill me like I thought it would. And so, um, I became a depressed, drunk drug addict, I would say. And I have messed up a lot in my life. And so what brings me peace or joy or fulfills my life is to live with a purpose, with passion, and to make progress in my life and in other people's lives. And so that dramatic growth, I guess, taking that tragedy to triumph or to see the things that I've struggled with and the downfalls I've had in defeats to come back and help others through my own personal experiences. And when did the drugs start? 17 after I won my first, my high school

national championship. I had never drank alcohol or anything before then. And there was never alcohol in the home. And I went to a Catholic school and there's just a lot of parties. And after I won, everyone wanted to celebrate and so i i drink for the first time then isn't that interesting how we celebrate with things that make us act stupid yeah i never really got the fun in it because when i was 16 i got drunk on a six pack of michelob and a half a bottle of champagne. I was sick for three days. My dad owns grocery stores. He made me work in the liquor department.

Every bottle of wine just gave me a big headache. And I'm like, why is it? And I acted like an ass. Why is this fun? I didn't really get why it was fun. No, and for me, uh competition it became after that moment win or lose was an excuse to use um so to celebrate or to completely wipe away all the effort and when you're living at the olympic training center or when you're a professional

mma fighter even becomes more you're training two or three times a day, six days a week. And you're training in numerous different sports, plus your strength and conditioning. And so after six months dedicating yourself to it, if you lose, it's hard to, I guess I probably wasn't a good loser. And I took it very personally. And I would shake the guy's hand. I congratulate him, his team, and be OK in front of everybody. But internally, I would internalize it. And it would make me feel worthless and not good enough. And I'd hear that same thing. So no one in your training, even your Olympic training,

is anybody training your mind? Yeah, we'd have sports psychologists. And do they teach you how to deal with loss, how to deal? They would try to. And I think as a high performer, uh, guys, guys, you see it in a lot of Olympic champions and world champions and fighting. Uh, you just don't handle loss as well. And, uh, and you need to, you need to learn how to, um, and that was a struggle for me. Win or lose. It was an excuse to use because my identity was wrapped in it now now it's now it's not um uh i took i had to take five years off um after a moment for me uh life transformation and change of deciding like i don't want to live this way

anymore and for me it was also uh personally um faith not pushing that on anyone else but uh yeah after that moment i detached from that identity and said i i'm i'm not just this there's a lot more to me and um i want to talk about that transition when we come back uh we're gonna be with justin wren if there's one thing you learned from this podcast uh post it on any of your social media sites. Hashtag BrainWarriorsWay Podcast. Leave us a review, a comment, a question on BrainWarriorsWayPodcast.com.

We'll enter you into a raffle to win one of Tana's cookbooks. I'm so excited. You can learn more about Justin at Fight for the Forgotten. You also have a book of the same name and you're going to be blown away when you hear the stories coming up. Stay with us. Thank you.

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