Change Your Brain Every Day - Can Your Thoughts Change Your Body’s Chemistry?

Episode Date: July 17, 2019

Words matter. Not just for those that hear them, but also for those that speak them. In this episode of The Brain Warrior’s Way Podcast, the third in a series on the power of words, Dr. Daniel Amen and Tana Amen describe what happens inside your body and brain when certain types of words are spoken or heard, whether aloud or merely inside your head. Daniel and Tana also discuss how this info can be a useful tool in interactions between parents and their children.

Welcome to the Brain Warriors Way podcast. I'm Dr. Daniel Amen. And I'm Tana Amen. In our podcast, we provide you with the tools you need to become a warrior for the health of your brain and body. The Brain Warriors Way podcast is brought to you by Amen Clinics, where we have been transforming lives for 30 years using tools like brain spec imaging to personalize treatment to your brain. For more information, visit amenclinics.com. The Brain Warriors Way podcast is also brought to you by BrainMD, where we produce the highest quality nutraceuticals to support the health of your brain and body. To learn more, go to brainmd.com. Welcome back. We're talking about the words that we use and how they matter. Every time you have a thought, every time you tell yourself something,

your brain releases chemicals every single time. And when you say negative words to yourself, your brain immediately produces negative chemicals that make your whole body feel bad. And it happens immediately. But the opposite is also true. Whenever you have a hopeful thought, a helpful thought, a loving thought, your brain releases chemicals that produce a completely different set of chemicals. So my challenge to you in this episode is to think about certain times that are important and how you can set it up to be positive and get the outcome you want. So I'll give you one example. Whenever I would pick up my daughter from school as a teenager, I'd go to pick her up.

Before I would ever arrive at the school, I would ask myself, what is my goal? So we would always, I created a ritual. We would always go for a drive, stop, get some tea, and that would be our talking time. We'd take a drive down by the beach. But my initial question was, no matter what she gets in the car with,

what is my goal? My goal, and I would tell myself, my goal is to connect with her. It's to listen. It's to hear what she has to say. And I would set it up in advance so that I'm not surprised when she gets in the car and either throws an attitude

or tells me something totally off the wall, which teenagers can do, right? It's the most important two minutes of your day. That's why, you know, one of the exercises we give all of our patients is the one page miracle on one piece of paper, write down what you want and then ask yourself every day, is my behavior getting me what I want in this relationship for my work, for my money, for my physical, emotional, and spiritual health? What do you want?

And are the thoughts you're telling yourself or the words you're using with other people, are they going to help you get what you want? Right. And also, instead of saying to myself, oh, teenagers are such a pain in the butt, which is what so many people say. They're so difficult. They're so this, I would tell myself, teenagers are hilarious. And I would always say to myself, they're like unicorns. You never know what's, when they're going to show up. You never know how they're going to show up, what color they're going to be that day, but they're so interesting. And there's that one

simple shift would literally make it so that I had so much fun no matter what happened that day. So just the power of words. Well, and a lot of people say, oh, well, they're a teenager, so they're trouble. And that's actually not true. We haven't had trouble with any of them. Large population studies say that a third of teenagers never have any problem. Another third periodically. And then another third, they have a lot of trouble.

Those are the teenagers that need to see us because something may be going on in their brain. But if you use the words, oh, teenagers are trouble. Right, see? You are going to find trouble because as soon as they say something or do something that you don't like, you're going to be all over them, which is only going to reinforce. And that's actually you, not them. The negative baby. Because you need to know and go in expecting and knowing that teenage years are a time that teenagers are supposed to be forming their own identity. They're supposed to be separating. That doesn't equate to problem. Right.

It's basically, who am I? Right. Separate. So it can be irritating, but it doesn't mean it's a problem. And one of their psychological tasks, in a way, is to kill the parents because that's how they separate. Right. Otherwise, they're going to be living in your basement when they're 40. And if you don't overreact to that in a negative way,

you know, we've actually had a number of podcasts on that, then that can help you. I have a poem I want to read by a Sufi poet by the name of Rumi. A lot of Americans don't know Rumi, but he's very famous in the Middle East. And he has a poem I just love called The Guesthouse. This being human is a guesthouse. Every morning, a new arrival, a joy, a depression, a meanness. Some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all. Even if they are a crowd of sorrows who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. Be grateful for whatever comes because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. And the reason I love that poem, all of us have dark thoughts. All of us have stormy thoughts. Unfortunately, many people grab them, hold them as if they're real, and then that becomes their identity. But if you can go, oh, it's sort of like the weather, challenge the negative thoughts, they won't stick around. They won't stay, Even when awful things happen, because you get your mind, it's always going to be this way and things change. And so when they change, go, how can I use this to get what I want in my relationships, for my work, for my money?

But words are just so powerful. Yeah, they really are. It's so interesting. So in your darkest time, since we're talking about the words we use that matter, how did you climb out? One word. I mean, it was a series of things, but the one word that had the biggest impact on me was responsibility, the ability to respond.

And it literally was like, click. That word for me is still a theme in my life because I felt so defeated. And when that was brought up to me, how much responsibility are you willing to take for everything in your life for being sick? You should actually share that conversation. I think I have before, but I'll share it again for people who haven't heard it in the other podcast. Because it goes really well with the words you use. Right. So I was feeling really sorry for myself and I'm a seeker. So I wanted out of that dark place. So just the word, I am a seeker.

Right. Is a healing word. Right. It's proactive. It's empowering. So I was taking this course, like trying to figure out what the heck can I do to change this. And someone said to me, how much responsibility are you willing to take? And this is right after you were struggling with cancer. Right after I had cancer and severe

debilitating depression. I mean, it was debilitating. Anyone out there suffering from depression, I get it. What's the one thing that I've ever been through that was worse than cancer? Depression. It is the one thing that to this day, it that was worse than cancer? Depression. It is the one thing that to this day, it's the reason that I kick my own butt and go to the gym when I don't feel like it. I'm so terrified of ever going back to that. Like that is not going to, it's not an option. It's just not an option. So I will do anything to stay away from that darkness. Um, but I was, I was just coming out of this like very debilitating depression. I'd gone through several treatments for cancer and I was just, I had filed bankruptcy. I was in my early 20s.

I'm like, my life just felt hopeless. It felt hopeless. I had to drop out of school, had to quit my job because I was sick. And someone said to me, so how much responsibility are you willing to take? And I was irritated. I was really irritated at first. I'm like, responsibility for cancer? Are you out of your mind? Like, that's not my fault. He said, I didn't ask you how much blame are you willing to take? I didn't say it was your fault.

I asked you how much responsibility you are willing to take. And he drew this big circle and he split it in half. And on one side, he wrote 50%. On the other side, he wrote 50%. And he said, if you're willing to take 50% responsibility, not blame, responsibility, you have 50% opportunity to change the outcome because responsibility means the ability to respond. So you have 50% ability to respond to that scenario. And I, I don't know why that was like someone punched me in the stomach, but in a really good way, I was like, Oh my God, I have not been taking responsibility for my life. I've been this total victim. I've been like letting circumstances and

people and whatever doctors control the outcome of my life. That's not going to happen anymore. I don't know why it just was like this huge-up call to me. And from that moment forward, it was like responsibility. Now, bad things have happened. Don't get me wrong. Situations, circumstances, it doesn't guard you from life situations. What it does is it gives you the ability to respond to them. That was the difference. And isn't that what you want? I mean, if you're a brain warrior, you want to respond to the situation in a way that serves your health,

your family, your community. What is it you can do today? I ask myself this all the time. What is it I can do today to make this better? That's when you are in your most powerful place. And I got this from you and I have taken it and run with it and I spread it as much as I can because I love this question. Why is the world a better place because you breathe? Because you are on the planet.

Why is the world a better place? Because that immediately places responsibility on you to make the world a better place. It's not you sitting there sucking up oxygen. It's you doing something. Well, preach it, sister. All right. Stay with us. When we come back, we're going to answer some of your questions and talk more about

the words you use matter. Remember, don't forget to post what you have learned. What is the disempowering thing you have been saying and how are you going to change it? If you're enjoying the Brain Warriors Way podcast, please don't forget to subscribe. So you'll always know when there's a new episode and while you're at it, feel free to give us a review or five-star rating as that helps others find the podcast. If you're considering coming to Amen Clinics or trying some of the brain healthy supplements from BrainMD, you can use the code podcast10 to get a 10% discount on a full evaluation at amenclinics.com or a 10% discount on all supplements at brainmdhealth.com.

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