Change Your Brain Every Day - Dr. Amen’s Tips for a Brain Healthy Holiday

Episode Date: December 18, 2018

For most of us, the holidays are typically the least healthy time of year. So what do we do to keep ourselves accountable and feeling great through our holiday break? In this episode of The Brain Warrior’s Way Podcast, Dr. Daniel Amen and Tana Amen give you the tips you need to make it through the holidays with your brain health intact.

Welcome to the Brain Warriors Way podcast. I'm Dr. Daniel Amen. And I'm Tana Amen. Here we teach you how to win the fight for your brain to defeat anxiety, depression, memory loss, ADHD, and addictions. The Brain Warriors Way podcast is brought to you by Amen Clinics, where we've transformed lives for three decades using brain spec imaging to better target treatment and natural ways to heal the brain. For more information, visit amenclinics.com.

The Brain Warriors Way podcast is also brought to you by BrainMD, where we produce the highest quality nutraceutical products to support the health of your brain and body. For more information, visit brainmdhealth.com. Welcome to the Brain Warriors Way podcast. Well, Tana and I want to say happy holidays to all of you who've been with us for a long time, or if you're new to the Brain Warriors Way podcast podcast it's a labor of love we do for you we have a podcast review this one is from Maya ever I woke up with so much anxiety I was so angry I don't know how this started playing on my phone in the morning, but it came on like my

morning alarm, even after I cleared the cachet. Oh, that's funny. But I started to like what I was hearing because I've been in such a dark and lonely place. I'm thinking I now have a way out. So thank you. Oh, that makes me so happy. Even though you may not see this, we did. Thank you. I feel I have some morning ammunition. That makes me so happy.

Like a little bit of cocaine? Yeah. Actually, I've never done cocaine. No, it's like petting a puppy, like that warm feeling. So we would just say it's dopamine hitting our nucleus. So come by and it makes us happy. Thank you. We are grateful to be helpful to you.

You know, and like this person is like, as going into the holiday, I think more and more people might be feeling some of this, right? So it's people like, I mean, all of the Hallmark stuff on the TV is, it's not real for a lot of people. I mean, even, even, even my family right now, this year. So about three years ago, we had a really rough holiday. My mom lost her husband. This year we lost two family members going into the holidays. We had one suicide in the family and then a death. And it's literally, that was last week we had it and right before Thanksgiving. Like two days before Thanksgiving and it's the holidays are not an easy time for a lot

of people and even though my little I'm so grateful because my little nest is safe and happy and you know I always focus on that when people in your life that are very close to you my mom mom, my uncle, my aunt, whoever, when they're suffering, the holidays are hard for a lot of people. So we need to really acknowledge that as we go into these holidays and really we want to talk about the holidays and how to be healthy, but also the people who are having a hard time and really focus on that and what they can do. Well, and I figured out one of the reasons why the holidays are so hard. I mean, there are many reasons. It's the chronic stress, feeling like you have to be perfect and buy the perfect gift for all these people.

Oh, that is so stressful. It's stressful. And then you hang out with people that throughout the year you've chosen not to hang out with. But you believe you should. And, and, and I adore my family and I have a big family. You have an amazing family. But we were at dinner the other night and one of my sisters started telling stories about me when I was a child and how much of a troublemaker I was. And compared to the patients I see, I was a freaking angel. But I found myself irritated, right? I'm like a double board certified psychiatrist. And you're listening to stories

of when you were seven. I've written 30 books. I've done some cool things in my life. And here I am for about the 50th time listening to the stories of when I was a child and I irritated someone. And I found myself leaving early, irritated. And I go, oh, this is why the holidays are hard for people, because they have to hear these stories about themselves, which, of course, have been embellished over the years, over and over and over again. So, and that's true. That's true from your perspective, right? That's how it feels to you. And so I just want to, like, you always have to,

like, tell the other side of the story too. So the stories had started out about your sister and what a troublemaker she was. And I think she did that to shift the attention away from her. But don't do that. Okay, hold on. This holiday season. Because you know when we first got together, you were a runner. And you'd like come and go.

Like the runaway bride. Yeah, you made my life a living hell and i'm so grateful right but when i would bring it up it would just really make you because i want to focus on now right and so this holiday season so we're going to give you some tips on how to manage the holidays this holiday season. Don't, because you'll get a laugh, don't do it at the expense of someone else. What I want to point out to one of the tips is imagine, yes, because you need to finish this point. You guys don't see this, but whenever she wants to make a point, she kicks me under the table. Well, it's better than punching you in the arm.

Yes, there are other options. Right? Another option would be put your hand nicely on my leg. Because you switch gears. You don't understand. His brain, he switches gears so fast, he moves on to the next point, and I don't get to finish this point. Okay, so now I'm trying to politely do this,

and you just like threw me under the bus and told them my little that wasn't polite so no if i punch you in the arm then you'll have bruises anyways so what i was going to say uh is when when this happens to you if someone does this to you the point i want to make okay it might be hurting your feelings a little like it hurt your feelings and and we left i had no idea your feelings a little, like it hurt your feelings. And, and we left, I had no idea your feelings were hurt. Okay. And I was enjoying the story so much and they didn't, to, to, to other people, they don't sound the way they feel to you. So just remember that. And it doesn't make it less irritating necessarily, but to me, it was like, I only know you as Dr. Daniel Amen, you know, whatever. It's fun for me to see the mischievous little kid, right?

So that's sometimes why people do it isn't so much because they mean it to be mean. Just remember the intention sometimes. So, you know, it's fun for me to know the kid, the child. And so they don't always mean it the way you're taking it. And I think that it's important to remember that so that you don't feel necessarily wounded. Holiday tip number one, watch the stories you tell and how they'll impact others.

And an addendum to that, watch the story you tell yourself if you hear a story about yourself. What's the story you're telling yourself about what they're saying about you? Two is be grateful. That is so important. That's why we celebrate Thanksgiving. It's why we celebrate Christmas. It's why we celebrate the holidays. It's about gratitude. Too often people get caught up in the stress of I have to do this, I have to do that. Oh, my gosh, the gifts and the blah. And, you know, many of you probably read Gary Chapman's book on the five love languages. And gifts are a love language for some people.

But, like, they're totally not for you. For anyone in our family. And they're totally not But, like, they're totally not for you. For anyone in our family. And they're totally not for me. And they're totally not for Chloe. And so it makes it stressful that we have to, like, go do this gift thing because none of us really like gifts. Yeah, it's just not a big thing. The third tip is take a time out.

You need to sleep. Because if you don't sleep, you're going to be irritated. You're going to have less blood flow to your frontal lobes. And if you have less frontal lobe function, you're going to eat the weapons of mass destruction, right? They're everywhere, whether it's donuts, you know, holiday, holiday cakes, holiday cakes. If I'm really tired, I'm susceptible to like grabbing something,

just like that idea, like, oh, I need to stay awake. Like I need to like push through. And so you'll grab I'm susceptible to grabbing something. Just like that idea, oh, I need to stay awake. I need to push through. And so you'll grab something to eat to do that. Right, so if we think of the brain warrior's way, well, what's the war? Well, there's clearly a skirmish going on during the holidays with all of the candy and bad food. What we refer to on this program is weapons of mass destruction. ISIS has nothing on our food industry.

The next one is learn to let go and forgive. I guess I should do that. And in Feel Better Fast and Make It Last, I actually quote Everett Worthington's research on reach for forgiveness so remember what happened my sister irritated me that's the R he is empathize with her that's what you were doing a is altruistically give the gift of forgiveness, commit to it to someone, and then hold on, not to the hurt, but to the forgiveness. And if you are having trouble with this, because it's too quick for this podcast, go back and listen to our podcasts on forgiveness. We have several, and they're powerful. So it's really important, because if you can't forgive them for them, forgive them for you. So go back and listen to those. It's really important.

So the next one is repeat a mantra or just have a saying in your head to help anchor you. I like my morning one and my night one, which is today is going to be a great day. And what went well today? And I actually go to sleep at night. I say a prayer and then I just start at the beginning of my day looking for what went well today yeah and the reason I do that is I believe it sets my dreams up to be happy if I'm because dreams are actually a consolidation of what happened during the day. And they actually help you remember things. And of course, you want to learn from the challenges

in the day. But before I go to bed, I want to think about what went well today. It's so true. And here we are during the holiday season and I got like a bunch of stuff happened day before yesterday that like sort of sidetracked my day. I didn't go to bed doing my normal routine, my ritual of praying and then like saying my mantras and waking up. I got woken up really early to get busy. And what happened? My day went completely sideways off track. And I know that happens to a lot of you. So just try to, try to really make this part of your day. Cause my day just went, you know, we all do it. We have days like that where you just go completely off track and it leaks, it leaks all over people when that happens. So just keep going. I'm feeling the leaking all over me. Well, fortunately you're not one of the people. Usually you're not one of the people. Usually, you're not one of the people.

Fortunately, he's usually not one of the people, but occasionally. It's usually people on the freeway, but anyways. Do you want to share? No, I do not. I'm just giving you an opportunity to share. It was not attractive, but anyways. Now everybody's wondering about it. No, I sit in my car yelling, but I don't like, no hand gestures, but anyways. And I very rarely get mad on the road because I know he or she may have a gun in their car.

Well, that's why I don't do hand gestures. And I treat a lot of dysfunctional brains. And, you know, I'm always thinking to myself, I wonder what the brain of that person is like. Right. And it might not be great. But if you're not sleeping, yours isn't either, and that's where the problem comes in.

Yes. Talk it out. This is an absolute must. Let friends and families know when you're emotionally overwhelmed. And if you're emotionally overwhelmed. And if you're really struggling and it's not getting better, get help for yourself. I just have to tell a story. Because it was like my favorite thing. I was so overwhelmed. This is like that period where I was telling you like everything was just like coming at

me. Everybody needed something. My phone was ringing off the hook and I literally just felt like if one more, if my phone rings one more time, I'm literally going to throw it at the wall and just like, I just want to crack the thing. I was just, I don't know if you've had days like that where it's just like, if I can't take one more thing. I was so tired. I got home so late. There was just so many people like I felt like that needed something with, I mean, we had deaths in the family and stuff was going on and I just couldn't, I was being pulled in different directions. Right. And I was just like, I don't know which way to turn first. And I was just overwhelmed. And I remember like I woke up in the morning and it was eight 30. I never sleep till eight 30. And we're usually up by 6.30, you know, ish.

And so I slept and I'm like, I woke up. I like started to jump out of bed. I'm like, why did you let me sleep that way? Like, I was like, he's like. Because whenever I wake you up early, you get mad at me. But that's not what you said. Because usually I wake up early. You said because you needed to sleep.

And I'm like, no, I needed to get up early. You're like, no, you didn't. You needed to sleep. And you were very calm and you were very gentle. And you came over and you like laid down next to me and you gave me a big hug. And I'm like, no, I have this to do, I have this to do. And I started to go through my list. And you said, so what can I take off your plate today?

And you literally went through one by one and like four of the major things that I had to do. One of them was a TV appearance. That's a big thing. And you're like, nope, I already canceled that. Nope. I already took that off your plate. Nope. I already canceled. And there was like fourth. And I was just like, I literally, like, I was just in that moment, I felt so in love with you. Just like those little, like someone, if you have someone that you know is going through that and you do something like that for them, that's money in the bank, I'm telling you. So that's, as far as relationships go, that was amazing.

So that was actually conscious, the sneaky way I got you to fall in love with me. Because whenever we're together, guys go, how did he get her? Oh, stop it. It's you do something nice for someone they love and or you do something nice for them right I mean that's what love you do that a lot right I mean you do love is nurturing that's actually easy and decreasing the stress of others and when you do that it's money in the bank. So emotionally, it makes me feel good.

I'm obviously happier if you're less stressed. Oh my gosh, the whole day, my whole day went different. My whole day went different. All right, stay with us. We're going to talk more tips for having a brain healthy holiday. Use the code PODCAST10 to get a 10% discount on a full evaluation at amenclinics.com or on our supplements at brainmdhealth.com. Thank you for listening to the Brain Warriors Way podcast. Go to iTunes and leave a review and you'll automatically be entered

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