Change Your Brain Every Day - How an Actor Overcame his Addictions, with Chris Browning

Episode Date: January 23, 2020

Character actor Chris Browning was watching his life slowly turn into a cautionary tale due to his struggles with substance abuse when he finally found his path to redemption. He learned that “humility isn’t thinking less or yourself, but rather thinking of yourself less.” In this final episode of a series with Chris, he and Tana discuss how finding the purpose to help others led to the triumphant conclusion of his comeback story.

We are going to start your new year, your new decade off with a bang. Tan and I are going to do a six-week live class. So starting January 21st, every Tuesday, we're going to be with you for an hour. And at the end, we're going to give away over $20,000 in prizes. We look forward to helping you kick off this new year by becoming brain health revolutionaries. Welcome to the Brain Warriors Way podcast. I'm Dr. Daniel Amen. And I'm Tana Amen. In our podcast, we provide you with the tools you need to become a warrior for the health of your brain and body. The Brain Warriors Way

podcast is brought to you by Amen Clinics, where we have been transforming lives for 30 years using tools like brain spec imaging to personalize treatment to your brain. For more information, visit amonclinics.com. The Brain Warriors Way podcast is also brought to you by BrainMD, where we produce the highest quality nutraceuticals to support the health of your brain and body. To learn more, go to brainmd.com. So this is our last episode this week with Chris Browning. If you haven't heard the other three, please listen.

It's just a crazy story, but a great story it's a great story because it's it's real life it's what we see it's hard it's hard life but it's the story of comeback and i just love how honest you've been willing to be it's been so great your story with addiction your recovery um and we got to scan your brain and show you show you how much better it can be And we're going to rescan you in a couple months. Yeah, well, that was a little disconcerting when your husband's like, yeah, we took a picture of your brain. Oh, but I know it can't be the worst.

No, not even close. And he even said, one thing he did say, because people always latch on to that part. Yeah. So let me remind you. Especially an alcoholic. Right. So let me remind you of the part where he said, considering obviously you have been

not bad to your brain for 15 years. Now you've been really trying to be good to it. And so that's why it looks as good as it does. And we're not past the point of no return. Absolutely not. That's what I mean. You have a lot of hope. I got hope. And it's not going to take that long. And there're not past the point of no return. Absolutely not. That's, that's what I, you have a lot of hope. I got hope.

So, and it's not going to take that long. And there's stuff we can do. Yes. And, and that means I get to do, I get to come back. I had to do all the,

by the way, thank you. Absolutely. These people are wonderful. And I just, I don't know how I manifested you, but thank you for showing up. Thank you.

And we're grateful to you as well this is going to help a lot of people i'm serious this is really i'm really grateful to you also well i'm i'm volunteering you know if there's ever anything more i can do in this thing please ask thank you because that it helps me keeps me sober um well and that's what we're talking about we're talking about purpose yeah well that's the. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. It's like, this wasn't like, I'm not just this purposeful Gandhi of a guy. I'm an alcoholic and a drug addict. So I'm selfish and self-centered by nature.

That's my default mode so i've been i finally got willing and humble enough to take suggestions and direction from other people and i stuck around for three months and started getting that rewards that you know there's the things that i'd never felt before i'd come in i'd come in or come around try to get sober for a month or two and just be miserable, called white knuckling. And I was like, I don't, I'm, and it's a feeling when you know for a fact you're going to use again. You're getting together with people in recovery and you're like, yeah, they have something. I don't have it. I'm not done.

I know I'm, and it's a horrible feeling and so when i when i finally got three months i i was comfortable enough in my own skin and i was looking people in the eye you know and i didn't have a secret there wasn't anything on my breath there wasn't anything wrong with my pupils this is me like it or not take it or leave and it was something that really puts you back straight you know, and puts a bounce in your step and gives you a confidence. It gave me one that I'd never had before. So, and that came from taking direction from these people

that had been doing it a while. Right. And the thing, one of the things I used to hear from people like old timers, as they say, people who've been doing it sober for a while. One of the things I would hear would be, you know what, kid, I think you might be too smart to get this thing. And I was like, well, that's a really good point. Yeah.

And that was definitely the root. Because you could rationalize why. Yeah, I would do. I'd think my way out of it and go, yeah, I don't need to do all that. I'll do some of that and a little bit of that. But all of those, nah, I don't need that. Because I'm smarter than everybody. And that kept me in a lot of pain for a lot of years.

But the other thing I heard was quit whining, go help somebody. Yeah. And I don't know why it works. I don't do it because I'm Gandhi. I do it because it feels good because I'm an addict. I'm all about feeling good. And I never would have thought that it could feel so good to help people. But it's awesome. It really does, doesn't it? Well, that's what we try and tell people. If you are trying to recover from whether it's depression, substances, I don't care what it is.

If you go help someone, it takes you out of yourself. It takes you out of yourself just for a little while. And it can make you grateful for something. And purposeful people live longer. And they're happier. And stuff comes to you. It's like the universe is going, I see what you're doing, and I'm going to reward that. You're around people that are positive.

Positive things happen for you. So there's a lot of selfish reasons that I do it. But I opened a treatment center. My first wife and I and another couple, we were asked to open a treatment center in Taos, New Mexico. That was like the best year. I was around for a couple years, but the opening of that. Once we got the patients and parents and all that involved, it stopped being fun. Right. It's work now.

But building it. Yeah, building it and being there and that that you're just knowing that you're doing something to help people it was one of the best years ever well even when i was trying to schedule your appointment to come down here and be on the podcast and get your scan you um you were funny you're like well i'm feeding the homeless on that day so you know we were trying to get i'm like that's cool like that's you know i mean that's what. Like that's, you know, I mean, that's what you're doing. Well, and that just comes from, you know, there's people that, like Donna Jericho. Yeah. She's, that we just did this movie with, and she's the one that told me about it.

And I'm like, I do that. I do that every year. I'm doing that. I didn't know that she was going to be at it as well but it's like yeah well now now we're definitely going to do it yeah and and uh it's just and they asked me they were you know there was a lot of press there and they asked me about it why why why here and why are you doing this and i said because i've been in this line I've been in this line. I've been in this line. And now I'm in a line of plate runners or in the back doing, you know, steamed vegetables or whatever in my place in line and whatever. But I've been in that line.

And, you know, how can you not? Right. I've never been in that line. And most of those people, I mean, it's funny because other people see you. They know you. And Hollywood's all about who's who. But a lot of those people, they don't care. They don't know. They're too gone.

They're too hurt. They're too down. But you're still there helping them. Yeah. They're not feeding your ego. They're just there. Yeah, no. In fact, a lot of them are really just not grateful at all.

No. Some of them are just, they treat you awfully. But they're just really in pain. But they're also, like you said before, their souls have been hijacked. Their brains have been hijacked. So, see, that's something we know. Yeah. You know, those drugs hijack your brain and your soul.

Oh, yeah. I mean, I've been very selfish and entitled and rude, you know, and had, you know, been in that place before where you just want to bitch about something, you know. And I don't know. It's just something good always comes of it. And that's it. It's not, it's, I heard a good, like,

humility isn't thinking less of yourself it's thinking of yourself less ah yes and i love that i love that because if i'm thinking about someone other than myself good's gonna come from yes i mean if nothing else because i've stopped thinking about myself yes just if that's all it's better you's better. I totally agree with you. And it's not always easy to do because we're all a little bit selfish. But that's why taking those steps to be intentional and be purposeful with other people and help other people are so important because it takes you out of yourself. Yeah. Well, I think you have to be doing that for yourself. Yeah. If you're anything, though, if it's trying to get in shape or trying to get sober or trying to, you know, whatever, if you're doing it for someone else, it better be about you before too long.

Yeah. Because it just doesn't work. That's what we often say is you've got to get your why right or you'll never do the what. Yeah. You've got to get the why right. Yeah. So your why has got to be big enough to move the what. Yeah. And I've seen it work where people, they try to get sober because of a spouse

or a nudge from the judge, you know, that it's like you want to go to prison, you want to do this, you know, or you want to go to jail, or you want to go to treatment. And so a lot of times, I don't care what gets you in the door, but it has to be you that stays there. You know, it's got to be for you. And plenty of people, myself included, have needed it for 20 years. I needed it. Yeah.

But until I wanted it, I had no chance. Right. You have to want it. You have to want it. Yeah. For 20 years, I needed it. Yeah. But until I wanted it, I had no chance. Right. You have to want it. You have to want it. I love that. And that's the thing, the gift of willingness. Yeah. You know, you hear that a lot because it did. I got to that point where I didn't care. I was like, you tell me to stand on my head, butt naked in the corner and yodel. I'll do it. Would you just tell me what you want me to do. The pain was great enough. Yeah, yeah. And as soon as I got that mindset, good things happened. Yeah.

You know? And it's amazing, too, that I see it in my kids. I see my kids doing lovely things because- Because it's being modeled for because i'm so yeah and because you're modeling it for them yeah and just think how far ahead of the game they're going to be so one of the things so my book that i'm writing right now which is really funny we haven't talked much about you know some of the differences in our in our lives um the book i'm writing right now is about breaking that cycle in the next generation. And so, and it's based on my life story, which was, which was pretty ugly, but mine starts off with, I'm just going to say it.

I was a judgmental witch. Okay. So I'm sitting in front of a bunch of drug addicts. That's when I had my epiphany. I was teaching, I was speaking at the Salvation Army to 200 addicts and I am having the most vile thoughts. I'm angry. I'm angry. And I literally, I left and I told Daniel, I go, I can't do this anymore. I cannot do this. I cannot come back. And I started crying. And he goes, why?

And I go, because I don't like these people. And I don't have empathy. I don't have compassion. I can't help people. And I told him, I looked at him, I said, God picked the wrong person. And if you know my husband, which most of the listeners know something about him,

he's got this very sweet, empathic little smile that only psychiatrists and husbands have, I think. It's so annoying. It's like really annoying. Honey, God, yes, God picked the perfect person. I'm like, ugh. And I was just fighting that because, but then the book, that's how my book opens. And then it flashes back to my childhood where my uncle was murdered in a drug deal. And, you know, I got people breaking in my house, my mom shooting the gun in the house.

And I mean, there's a reason that I felt that way. It didn't just start out of nowhere, you know? And so, but it ends with this epiphany that I have that if, like I said a prayer and somehow that prayer was answered and all of a sudden I looked out and I didn't see them or addicts. I'm like, oh my God, they were scared children just like I was. It's like if I can help one of those people, that's one less scared child in the world. And it just was this massive turnaround in my own world. And from that point, it just, it completely changed my life.

It changed the purpose and the direction and the trajectory of my life um so i'm coming from a little bit of the opposite yeah place that you are but it's funny how you can end up in the same place yeah pain pain yeah you know you were in pain but we were all scared children at one point yeah that's where we all started and i went what i sat there thinking to myself where were these people before they started doing drugs? They were probably scared little kids like I was at some point. That's what I thought about that Gus guy. He was 30 and looked 60, but he was one of those guys that you could still see the little boy with a skinned knee. Broken.

Yeah. Crying about a boo-boo on his knee or something. And maybe someone wasn't there to help him. Who knows? Yeah. Yeah. And then we start here, but we can meet in this place in the middle with healing. It's pretty cool.

Oh, that is cool. And so that's why when I heard your story, I'm like, that's got to be a book or a movie. It just has to be. It's like the other side of the fence from mine, and it's just an amazing story. Well, I want to do it. I mean, you heard it here first. I'm going to write a book. And it's because-

Because I pushed him. Yeah, but I just, you brought it to Daniel and he's like on board. And it's like, you guys just decided, no, we're going to help him make this happen. Yeah, I want to hear from you guys. How many of you, if not yourselves, have someone you love that this is a story that you can relate to, right?

So either my story, which you were on the other side of it, and you're judgmental, and you don't want to help, and you don't want to get involved because you're scared, or you are the person who really has struggled, and either you haven't come back from it yet, or you're trying to find a way back from it, or you have come back. Almost everyone's been touched by it. So we'd love to hear your comments your questions you know we love to read your questions when we're not having a guest we're we answer questions and talk to our people so send it to us questions oh i would love that okay yeah when you come back to do your scan let's do that yeah all right so send your questions in because chris browning is going to help us read

them it's not going to be my book isn't going to be some how to by the guy who figured it out. No, no. Because I am far from that guy. No, we want to hear your story. Yeah, I'll tell you my story. But I'm just, I'm one stupid mistake away from being right back on the streets. You know, that's, I can't, that's just. But knowing that is probably part of what keeps you.

Knowing that, yeah. Rather than being bulletproof like I was before where I was like, no, I can do this. I won't get addicted. I can, you know. There was all these lines in the sand that I was like, I was wiping them and making new lines like every week. Maybe I was doing that, but I'll never do that.

And next week I'm doing that. Yeah, but i still okay i would never but that's the bars here now but then yeah you know what the bet you know you hear about reaching bottom you know you've reached your bottom when you know whatever best definition i've ever heard for the bottom is is you've uh you've reached your bottom when circumstances around you are declining faster than you can lower your standards. Because I couldn't keep up with the lines. It's like, oh, forget it. You know, just let it go. Yeah. I'm, I'm a piece of s**t. So now I have no standards. I have no standard. Wow. That's pretty honest.

There are some, I never things that I'm proud of as far as you know because I saw a lot of people and especially in jail I saw I saw a side of humanity that I don't even like knowing that those people that really exist you know there's some dark dark people and and just dead on the inside killers and and uh you know there's a lot of things that i didn't ever do i never i never victimized people just yourself that was my yeah when i was on the street people are robbing and ripping people and beating them down and taking their and i never did that i never i never could could do that and i just i could steal from supermarkets and like that and um you know i tried to make i tried to make an amends to them oh interesting and i'm like you know i can't begin to

pay back the million dollars that i stole from you over the years but um i'd like to start you know just to be paying on it. Wow. They didn't have a column for that. Oh, interesting. It was like, we can't know. They've written it off already. It's done. Yeah.

No, they're like, make a donation to a thing or something. But they don't have, yeah, it's written off. The books are balanced. You'll screw it up. Yeah. If you give us that money, we don't know what to do. It'll throw off. Yeah, so go help someone else.

And I'm like, oh, that's fine. All I need to do is make the gesture right so we're good right thanks is that what is that step four uh nine nine okay yeah interesting in 12-step programs which i'm not you know endorsing or denying or what is the word i can either confirm not. I don't care what people do to get sober. I just, you know, and everybody's program is different. Some people, you know, they've got, they do this kind of thing and they supplement it with this spiritual belief and this pursuit. And I don't care what anybody's thing is. If you're not lying cheating and stealing and using then more power to you right you know i don't whatever it is whatever your little thing

is you know that's if i can if i can lay my head down and go i didn't lie cheat or steal today and if i was wrong i fixed it because that's the thing I get into a thing with somebody and then and just be like you know I'm walking around you know taking poison for this guy he doesn't even remember he doesn't care yeah right and and so now I gotta go hey you know that thing I was I was out of line man I'm sorry whatever and then it's clean and I don't have to I that's not on, man. I'm sorry. Whatever. And then it's clean. And I don't have to. That's not on my list. When I go to bed, I'm not carrying that. Yeah.

And that's been a big thing. Because I'm that guy that can hold on to that for a long time. Well, and the thing that I noticed about you when I met you was just how raw and open you were. And I appreciate that. So that was just a really nice quality to meeting people because you don't see it very often and um someone who's just really like it's funny when you talked about not being comfortable in your own skin because i the word i would use is comfortable in your own skin that's how yeah that's how you seem to me so you were just like completely wide open with who you are and that's's just not, you know, most people are trying to, Oh yeah,

no, most people are wearing facades like crazy. Yeah. So it was really refreshing. I'm totally petrified in here right now. Yes, you don't seem that way. You're just telling us everything. Because I'm an actor. Right. Well, we appreciate. You think I'm well adjusted and comfortable. No, I'm, I'm, I'm much so, much more so.

Well, and we just really appreciate and comfortable. No, I'm much more so today. Well, and we just really appreciate this. You know, I love the saying, pain shared is pain divided. And when someone is willing to step up and share their pain, somehow someone else out there that's in pain is like, oh, okay, I'm not alone. And there's hope for me. Yeah. So that's why I just really appreciate you being here telling your story and i get looking

forward to that book absolutely yeah help you get that written and you guys write about whether or not you want to read the book yes please let us know send us questions comments we're doing a whole proposal thing and we need your data yes and make sure you share this with someone that you know that's suffering um that's either recovering or suffering or just needs some hope. And you can reach me through the show anytime. You guys got a question or you want some advice or something from someone who's just making it up a day at a time like the rest of us. Yeah, no, we appreciate that.

Just talking with another one. That's what keeps me sober. Love it. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. If you're enjoying the Brain Warriors Way podcast, please don't forget to subscribe so you'll always know when there's a new episode.

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