Change Your Brain Every Day - How Does Brain Health Affect Your Love Life?

Episode Date: December 16, 2016

Have you ever wondered if love just about the heart or is it more about your brain? Well, it's a common question and a lot get confused on what role these two organs really play in the emotional state of a person. So today, we'll demystify the role of your brain in our relationships.  Be sure to listen to the whole episode. And if you haven't left us a review on iTunes, you can drop them by clicking here:

Hi, I'm Donnie Osmond, and welcome to The Brain Warrior's Way, hosted by my friends Daniel and Tana Amon. Now, in this podcast, you're going to learn that the war for your health is one between your ears. That's right. If you're ready to be sharper and have better memory, mood, energy, and focus, well then stay with us. Here are Daniel and Tana Amen.

Hi, I'm Dr. Daniel Amen. And I'm Tana Amen. In this episode, we're going to talk about the brain and relationships. So the first part of the brain that I just find so stinking interesting is the prefrontal cortex. So it's the front third of the brain, largest in humans and in any other animal. 30% of the human brain, 11% of the chimpanzee brain, 7% of your dog's brain, 3% of your cat's brain, and 1% of the mouse's brain. Focus, forethought, judgment, impulse control, organization, planning, empathy, learning from the mistakes that you make. So when it works right, you have a good filter. Jerry Seinfeld once said, the brain is a sneaky organ. We all get weird, crazy, stupid, sexual, violent thoughts that no one should ever hear.

So if your frontal lobes are low because you're drinking too much or you had a brain injury, all of a sudden those thoughts get out. A lot of people don't know that drinking drops the function of your frontal lobes, which is why you make bad decisions. And why there's more fighting in couples when people have had a couple of drinks. Because your filter is not working. Right. We all know if you're married, any of you who are married know that you should definitely not say everything you're thinking. Now, unless you're me. A filter is a good idea. Right. But when it's hurt, forethought is hurt. And so you might go, oh, she's cute.

So even though your goal is to stay married and have a loving, passionate, long-term relationship, all of a sudden your behavior wanders. And that can devastate your life. I've seen that so often. And then people look back and go, I don't even know why that happened. They're not even sure. They didn't mean it. They're not sure why it happened, but it happened. Right. Because your behavior can be off. I have an exercise I do with couples. We call it the one page miracle on one piece of paper. Write down what you want in your relationship. And it's a frontal lobe exercise because with you, I want a kind, caring, loving, supportive relationship, right?

Right. But I don't always feel that way. And, you know, I just thought, well, let's just- Now I'm hearing the truth. You know, let's just say something nasty. But when my frontal lobes work right, I'm like, don't say that. Well, and I'm lucky he has five sisters and a wonderful mother.

So I always say he came housebroken and fully trained. And I know if you say that stupid thing, they remember it for freaking ever. So it's been- Mind like a steel trap. So pain is a really good teacher. Another system of the brain, which is another really interesting one, is called the anterior cingulate gyrus. And it's a long term, but it's basically the brain secure shifter.

It allows you to go from thought to thought, move from idea to- So shifting back and forth. Be flexible, go with the flow. And when serotonin levels are low, and did you know birth control pills lower serotonin levels, people become worried, rigid, and flexible. Well, and that's not the only thing that lowers serotonin levels. So 80 to 90% of the serotonin in your body is made in your gut, not in your brain. So that's why the gut is often referred to as the second brain. And we're going to develop a brain-directed probiotic.

So when you have trouble with your digestive system, which is why we are so focused on nutrition here in Lifestyle Tips, and why we think we get some of our best testimonials from our nutrition department, because we really focus on healing that gut. So when serotonin levels go down, your cingulate starts working too hard, worried, rigid, inflexible. Things don't go your way.

You get upset. You tend to be argumentative and oppositional, hold grudges. And the cingulate is also really interested and that's where it's the part of your brain that notices errors. So people with low serotonin, they tend to notice what's wrong about their own bodies. They tend to notice what's wrong about their kids or with their husband or the people at work.

So let's talk for one second because I know it's coming and I'm just going to like, I'm just going to bring up the elephant in the room. So don't look at me like that. So PMS. So when women get close to their cycles, serotonin drops, singlet goes up. So, and you already know this because think about it with me for a second. What, what do women crave when they have PMS? Chocolate, alcohol, pasta, right? They crave the things that are going to... And sugar raises serotonin. Right. So any type of simple carbohydrate like pasta, rice, potatoes, chocolate... Or even alcohol.

Alcohol, increased serotonin. So you naturally know that you want this, you need this. When you get to this stage in your cycle, it's very helpful to know what's happening. I think just by knowing what's happening, it makes a big difference. And what I found in the PMS studies I've done, because I've scanned a lot of women at the good time of their cycle and then at the more vulnerable time of their cycle, their cingulate goes up, worried, rigid, inflexible, notice errors. Frontal. And their prefrontal cortex goes down. So now they don't have good control over what they say. So all of those things sort of come out. So if you understand what's happening,

it gives you that opportunity to go in advance. Okay. So if I have these thoughts, you know, just take a second. How do you calm down the cingulate? You raise serotonin and you can do that with exercise. You can do it with serotonin mood support, which has 5-HTP and saffron in it. The spiced saffron is just awesome. Simple carbohydrates, but healthier ones like garbanzo beans and sweet potatoes, and your life is better. So let's quickly talk about the other three systems are so important. There's one called the limbic system. It's your emotional. It's the bonding, which I totally am bonded and adore you. The limbic system is also involved with mood. It sets your emotional tone, how happy or sad you are. It's involved in bonding, larger in women

than in men, which is why women are primary caretakers for children and the elderly. When the limbic system works too hard, people tend to be sad. They tend to be negative. They focus on what's wrong rather than what's right. And exercise helps that too. Fish oil helps that. But not fish oil that's high in DHA. It's got to be higher in EPA. It's a very important point. Another area of the brain that can really affect relationships is called the basal ganglia, deep, large structures in the brain. When they work too hard, people tend to be anxious, tense, nervous, predict the worst. And in order to have a wonderful love life, you have to feel a little bit relaxed. And unfortunately, sometimes they'll use alcohol to relax

them, but then it drops their frontal lobes and they'll say something that hurts their partner's feelings. And then there's no love. One of my good friends, Earl Hensland says, no forethought equals no foreplay. And then the last area of the brain to talk about quickly and then change your brain, change your life. There's a whole section on, or in my book, The Brain in Love, is the temporal lobe. So the temporal lobes are underneath your temples, behind your eyes, large structures. They're involved with language, learning, memory, mood stability, and temper control. And when one of them is hurt, sometimes people can be really irritable. They can take things the wrong way. They're almost a little bit paranoid. They think people are talking about them even though they're not. Getting those healthy can be so important. And if you have a flash temper, getting a scan can be really helpful. We see it,

understand it, target treatment for it. We're talking all about these brain systems and what they're responsible for, but there's a really cool connection about the food mood connection. And I love this because it's a big part of what we do here is teach people how to really connect their brain body and those functions and do a lot of it naturally. So you're talking about serotonin and we also, you know, there's dopamine also for people who lack focus and maybe need help with their frontal lobes, their forethought and impulse control. So things that help elevate serotonin naturally and in a healthy way. So for women with PMS or someone who just is sad and worried.

So things like sweet potatoes are great. A little bit of quinoa pasta or an apple with some almond butter on it would be fabulous. You know, I've got recipes for apple cobbler during that time of your month where it's amazing. It's so good. So we want you not focusing on those simple carbs that are going to, you know, make you, you know, overweight, feeble-minded, and affect your brain. We want you to focus on the carbs that are going to really boost serotonin, make you happy, and also make you healthy at the same time. Now, dopamine is the opposite. So you want something that's going to increase your drive, your motivation, and your focus. Steak.

You want protein. So things like eggs and lean, high-quality protein, so grass-fed meats or free-range chicken, some wild salmon, things like that. That's going to really increase focus. And you want to focus on having protein about every three to four hours during the day. Because that stabilizes your blood sugar. So researchers measured 107 couples blood sugar levels right before bed. And then they gave them voodoo dolls. And they said, we want you to express your feelings about your partner with pins in the dolls. And people who had the lowest blood sugar

had more than double the number of pins in the dolls. And it so fits this one. Because if she doesn't eat, if I don't feed her on a regular basis, oh my God. I'm like, pull over. Now you know if I'm starting to get edgy. Put it in, you know, put nuts in the car.

Oh no, I'm a squirrel. I carry food everywhere I go. Protein bars, something. Everywhere I go. I'm like a squirrel. But isn't that interesting, though? When your brain's not right, your relationships aren't right. And I love this one more than anyone in the world. Excuse me. I'm on TV. I'm telling you, I'm pouring my heart out to you, my brain

out to you. It's not merely your heart, right? I don't love her with all my heart. I love her with all my brain. She's not going to break my heart. She's going to break my brain. But if my brain's not right, I won't act in a way that's consistent to get me what I want, which is kind, caring, loving, supportive, passionate relationship for the rest of my life. I've seen too many people, they love their partners. And because their brain's not right,

they make bad decisions and they devastate their relationship and they regret that moment for the rest of their lives. Take care of your brain. Okay, now can I finish my point? I'm done with the undying eternal love thing. It was wonderful. No, I just want to finish the point about the protein. What you don't want to do is have large amounts of protein at one time. You don't want to, you don't want to go. I just poured out my soul to you and now we're like large amounts of protein. That's what happens when you interrupt me before I'm done. This is what married couples do, right? No, no, I want to make sure I finish this point because it's really important. If you want to be thinking of protein like medicine, small amounts throughout the day, you don't want to go eat a large portion of protein for breakfast and then

not eat anything until dinner. And that goes to what you were saying. So think of it like medicine, two to three ounces every three to four hours. If this has been interesting to you, write a comment below. Send us a video on how your brain has impacted your relationships and what you can do going forward. We also can go to the MindWorks store and get the Brain in Love or the Brain on Joy bars totally. It'd just be an awesome gift for you. And if you're struggling in your relationships, but you're in love, you want to make it work, make an appointment at one of our clinics.

I'm Dr. Daniel Ame. I'm Tana Amen. Thank you. Thanks for listening to today's show, The Brain Warrior's Way. Why don't you head over to brainwarriorswaypodcast.com. That's brainwarriorswaypodcast.com, where Daniel and Tana have a gift for you just

for subscribing to the show. And when you post your review on iTunes, you'll be entered into a drawing where you can win a VIP visit to one of the Amen Clinics. I'm Donnie Osmond, and I invite you to step up your brain game by joining us in the next episode. you