Change Your Brain Every Day - How This Karate Master Defeated his Greatest Opponent- Pt. 2 with Senior Master Bob White

Episode Date: June 12, 2018

Everybody gets knocked down at one point or another, and we’ve all heard that what’s most important is that we get back up. But just how, exactly, do we do that? In part 2 of a series with hall of fame karate Master Bob White, Dr. Daniel Amen and Tana Amen discuss how to use your pain to create purpose for others, taking self-inventory, and being curious, not furious in the face of your mistakes.

Welcome to the Brain Warriors Way podcast. I'm Dr. Daniel Amen. And I'm Tana Amen. Here we teach you how to win the fight for your brain to defeat anxiety, depression, memory loss, ADHD, and addictions. The Brain Warriors Way podcast is brought to you by Amen Clinics, where we've transformed lives for three decades using brain spec imaging to better target treatment and natural ways to heal the brain. For more information, visit amenclinics.com.

The Brain Warriors Way podcast is also brought to you by BrainMD, where we produce the highest quality nutraceutical products to support the health of your brain and body. For more information, visit brainmdhealth.com. Welcome to the Brain Warriors Way podcast. And stay tuned for a special code for a discount to Amen Clinics for a full evaluation, as well as any of our supplements at brainmdhealth.com. Welcome back, everybody. We're here with master bob white karate hall of fame dear lord 10th degree black belt i mean there's just very rare uh in the universe he's a very dangerous person he's so sweet fortunate that we love him and call him our friend he has a new book, Life in Session, which you can get at Amazon or, is that on burnsandnoble.com?

No, it isn't. Just Amazon or on Bob's website, bwkenpo.com. We're so grateful that you are here, that you've survived the alcoholism and the cancer, most recently the cancer. And what we want to do in this podcast is talk about, well, how did you do that? And how long have you been sober? With the alcoholism, how did you overcome it? You said in the last one, you're 28 years sober.

28 years sober and and actually as i mentioned earlier we have uh somebody that came into the studio i see him he's my student but i've learned from him so much throughout the years and it's just a a constant evaluation on what pain is what pleasure is we always move toward the pleasure. And the pleasure for me, which is the complete opposite of what I was drinking, is living a life of sobriety, which enables me to have a relationship with the Lord, which gives me peace and service.

Service, I tell my friends, and in some cases they're going through turmoil, I said I could help them if they just start drinking more I can give a little more direction but normally if you're really in bad shape mentally and you're just upside down if you could think about what you could do to help somebody else it kind of gets you out of your own mind and it gets you into a good place where you're really doing something of value to help somebody else. Yeah, we actually, so you were a big inspiration for the karate, my martial arts, which for me has been very healing in many ways. It's been very, it's a metaphor for my life. I try to get

so many people to do it because it works for me as a metaphor, as being empowering for any woman who's had to go through something disempowering. And so you were a big inspiration, which is why I titled my thesis, The Brain Warrior's Way. And then we decided to title our, we were like, well, that's a good metaphor for both of us for our lives and for our communities. We titled our book, The Brain Warrior's Way. And we have a section in there exactly

about what you're talking about, pain to purpose. Use your pain to create purpose for others. Correct. It's that Rick Warren thing. Don't waste the pain. Don't waste it. I mean, whatever your experience, strength, and hope is, it can be shared with others. That's why Alcoholics Anonymous works is because it's one alcoholic talking to another. And it's somebody that has experienced what you've experienced that understands and help guide you where as opposed to somebody who's detached telling you what you should do they what they do is they tell you what they did and that has a lot more validity

of course yeah and i think there's something to be said about pain shared as pain divided and so you carry it with other people as opposed to thinking you're just all alone in the universe. Yeah, you find you're not as unique as you think you are. Right. So you got tired of the chronic effects of alcohol. Was there a decision point where you went, okay, I've had enough of this? Yeah, actually there was i went into a restaurant with two of my black belts and we ordered three beers and i grabbed the beer and i took a drink of it

and i just i put it down i go i can't do this anymore and that was the turning point i haven't had a drink since now before that what was the thought process with this i can't do this anymore was connected because i've always been a fighter i've been a competitive athlete played football and baseball in school and you know it was all about competition and we can overcome anything we don't surrender to anything there's no quit quitting was never anything that ever entered my mind or i was taught you know my father was like this. He didn't have a drink. He never drank at all. But so I've made up for whatever he didn't do. I've tried to recover, but it was, there was no quitting. And when I surrendered,

I got my strength, which is completely opposite of anything I ever thought of before. One of the things I really like in the book was just how brutally honest you were because that was the point where you decided it had been enough. But you sort of mentioned that there were a few times where you knew you needed to stop, but you just couldn't quite get there yet. Correct. So you knew this was a problem. And this is for our people listening because I think a lot of people wake up in the morning

and they're like, I need to stop. This is wrong. I know today I need to stop, but they don't, they're not quite there. It doesn't happen. And there's that struggle. And then finally, you had one day where you just did it. Yeah. Well, I stopped many times in my mind, but what happened, you know, it's the great obsession of every abnormal drinker to think they can drink normally, but it doesn't happen happen and you miss the mark one more time. And then the national anthem is, I'll never do that again. But there you are one more time.

You're waking up with that pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization, which is just devastating. But one of the promises is that you never have to feel this way again. And that was so powerful to me. In fact, I went into a meeting one time and this guy was talking about, I hope you have a big hole in your gut that you could drive a truck through

because you're in so much pain. And I'm thinking, I'll show you what pain is. But then he followed with, he followed with that if you're not in a lot of pain, you might not make the change. And you could rationalize yourself into going back. And I knew that's what took place. What's Pastor Warren saying?

People don't change when they see the light. They only change when they feel the heat. Yeah. Well, it's true. And I believe that. If there's no pain, you're not going to make a change. Well, some people will use the good brain God gave them and go, okay, I see the train coming to hit me and I'll get out of the way. Unfortunately, alcohol will.

It's the deceiver or it opens space for the deceiver to let us tell lies to ourselves you know I don't drink and I've never used drugs because I never want to be out of control I don't want those things controlling me and I'm rationally afraid of them right because I think given the devastation I've seen sure and we fuss you know on Facebook all the time you know I'll post things about alcohol and, oh, a little bit is good for you. Look at the science. And I'm like, we've done 140,000 brain scans. The worst ones are the drinkers. So I want a better brain. But you have kept this up for 28 years. So when you think about that,

what are the things you've done consistently to help you stay sober and stay healthy? I do inventories a lot. I'll do an inventory on a class that you and I work with each other. I think, what could I have done to be a better teacher for you? And I do the same thing with the way I spent my day. What did I do that was positive? What would I have liked to have done differently? And I think that really helps me refine and be the type of person that I want to be. You know, was I short with somebody or was I self-consumed? Most of my problems, if I did what's known as a four-step, and that's doing an inventory

on my behavior, most of my problems were my ego. That takes a lot to acknowledge. Say more about that. Say more about that. Well, you know, there's an acronym. Everyone's heard ego is edging god out a more descriptive one for me is ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity i think i kind of had a monopoly on that for a while that's great but constant refinement of

not only my physical skills as a martial artist but more of what we're talking about, behavior and things that you say and the things that you do. So I really like that. So at the end of the day, it's looking at what went right, but also what I could have done better. And what I teach my patients day in and day out is whenever it comes to your behavior, be curious, not furious. So the self-recrimination really doesn't help because you'll medicate that away.

But if you can go, okay, I had a bad day. Why? I didn't eat. I was short with my wife. I believed every stupid thing I thought. My boss was mean. I blamed other people because both of you, responsibility is never about blame.

It's about your ability to respond. Tana taught me that. It's your ability to respond to this difficult situation. And you are constantly learning. And I think that's how you get to be a 10th degree black belt is you're constantly, you know, you don't get one and then go, oh, I'm awesome. It's a continuous learning proposition. And that's what we know about what keeps the brain young is new learning throughout life.

You just made a really good point though. So so many people get their black belt or they achieve a goal, I'm gonna use that as a metaphor, because they achieve the goal of like, oh, I made it, I stopped drinking or whatever it is, or I got my black belt and then they don't go back. That happens. Okay, so they don't continue on,

they don't stay connected to their community, they don't. So you and I have this thing in common, which is why I love you so much. I got my black belt and I went, well, gosh, I feel like I just now, I feel like I'm just now starting to really understand how to start this journey. Like I just now have the basics down.

So I remember coming in and talking to you and saying, well, what do I do now? Like, what's the next step? Because now that I know the basics, but I think that so many people sort of do the opposite. And they're like, okay, well, I got there. So now I can relax. Yeah, and they deprive themselves of things

that make them feel really good about themselves. Right. And community is part of that. Well, it certainly is. It certainly is. And that, you know, all the things that goes with your martial arts training you know your fitness uh surrounding yourself with people that you have this commonality with this bond um and i think that people that stop coming in there's a void

in their life and a lot of them fulfill it with uh maybe a lifestyle change and they gain weight and they don't feel as good about themselves because they don't have that same release. Yeah. So I've used this analogy in the past, like on talking about other topics, but I'm going to use it here. And it's people struggling with alcohol are going to go, wait, that's what you're talking about. It's not nearly as hard. So I respect that. Okay. Cause I'm working with someone who's struggling. But I'm just going to use it as an analogy. Because I remember coming into the studio being completely intimidated. When you see the people fighting there, it's like, why am I here? I'm this middle-aged mom. This is like stupid that I'm coming into this studio. But I have this strange thing about myself that I always want to go to the best place and try to

learn what I can learn. So I sought you out and the fact that you take the time to be my master is humbling for me, really humbling for me. So I always want to give you my best just by that sheer, just because of that fact that you take your time to teach me. So I started training there and I never really sort of thought about the day I'm going to like have to test for my black belt because I'm like, yeah, that's just not something I'm probably ever going to do in this studio because the studio is different. And so the day you told me I had to test for my black belt, I remember just the turmoil internally. And I'm like, I can't do this.

Like there's not very many things in my life I've said I can't do. But I remember thinking, I can't do this. Like, there's not very many things in my life I've said I can't do. But I remember thinking, I can't do this. The people that are going to be there, like, their level is just not something I can do. And so I remember going through that struggle and that feeling of, like, I can't do this. But then it occurred to me, how do you get to be a black belt with people like this? You need to hang out with black belts that train like that. Oh, you become like the people you hang out with. Yes, that's all of that to say.

So getting well is you need to hang out with well people. If you continue to hang out with your drinking buddies and somehow magically think you're going to get well, forget it. It felt impossible, but I figured out that the only way it was going to happen was to surround myself with people who had already done it and stay surrounded by them. And you got help. A lot of it. You have to humble yourself, and then you have to stay connected. Yeah.

And when you do, great things happen. Right. So being in touch with the pain that helps you change uh making a decision to change you made a decision but you'd made it a lot but now it's stuck having a mentor uh was really helpful it was then keeping healthy so healthy habits you know we said how you optimize your brain giving back I love that part in the prayer of st. Francis for you and you're giving that you receive ox and my new book feel better fast and make it last with the purpose so to see because I actually it's I recite it virtually every day I

know you would like that because he answers with that too. And when we get into the next one, I want to, as we talk about how you sustain, I want to honor Mrs. White because you guys make this amazing couple. She is not just an amazing human being. She's a woman for any woman to look up to. She's a great role model. I know she's a big part of your... I don't know if she's... And like you, she's dangerous.

She's deceivingly dangerous. She's just deceptive. So she's frightening. So we'll be back. Stay with us. And we're going to talk about sustaining what we're coming. sustaining, overcoming. Use the code podcast10 to get a 10% discount on a full evaluation at amenclinics.com or on our supplements at brainmdhealth.com. Thank you for listening to the Brain Warriors Way podcast. Go to iTunes and leave a review and you'll automatically be entered into a drawing to get a free signed copy of the Brain Warriors Way and the Brain Warriors Way cookbook we give away every month.