Change Your Brain Every Day - How to Survive Your Teens Food Choices Without Starving Them to Death

Episode Date: March 21, 2017

As your kids start to make their own choices, it is important that in the early stage, they are educated and trained to make the RIGHT choices. And the truth is, realistically, that is not what's happening in many homes. So today, we're going to share with you some actionable steps that you can do to give your children a better health by helping them make the right food choices. 

Hi, I'm Donnie Osmond, and welcome to The Brain Warrior's Way, hosted by my friends Daniel and Tana Amon. Now, in this podcast, you're going to learn that the war for your health is one between your ears. That's right. If you're ready to be sharper and have better memory, mood, energy, and focus, well then stay with us. Here are Daniel and Tanya Amen.

From Tanya, my son has ADD, five types in total. He is resisting a lot with the diet, saying he doesn't believe in it, and is also not taking the supplements, although they are natural. What kind of approach do you recommend so that I can help him start the program to see if he changes his mood and believes in the program? I really don't know how to help him once he doesn't seem to want any help, but is not well at all. Can I start this one?

Would you mind? Because I like this one. This is very typical. I've actually never been your boss. That works out well that way. But I like this one a lot because this is very common for what I hear when I'm working with mother's groups. And it's very typical. It's very classic. My first question was I'm going to assume by the tone of the question that your son is not really young because otherwise you would just be doing what needs to be done and there would be no questioning on his part. Yeah, if you're on and you're watching, can they send us notes? We would love to know how old your son is. So I'm going to assume he's at least adolescent, okay? At least in this pre-adolescent or adolescent or teenage stage.

And it's different than when they're young. When my daughter was young, I did all the shopping. She didn't have a choice. She just did what we did. And so we were able to establish some habits, but I have a really, we have a strong 12 year old. So she's going to, oh my gosh, she makes me look like a cream puff. So she is going to push back. She's going to let us know, even when she knows that it's right. It's like, she just has to go, well, you don't know everything. It's just who she is. So, and actually I say, if I can survive her strength, it will serve her well. I don't want to take that away from her. So as she gets older, the approach changes. As a child becomes older, I don't want her to have to think of me being the dictator in her life, having to

listen to all of my words in her head. I want her thinking for herself. So the approach becomes different. I negotiate with her in a way that's practical, in a way that's healthy. So I do the shopping for the house. There's no options there. I do the shopping for the house. I'm not going to buy poison. Whether they're a teenager or not, you do not have to contribute to their early death. And the last time I checked, it takes like 30 days for a kid to starve to death. I know that sounds mean, but I'm a nurse and that's just reality. So if they don't eat, they don't eat. I'm saying all nurses are mean. Kind of, but not all of them. We have a nice side too. But anyways, we can be tough. But that said, I also want to give her some freedom and some choices. So we negotiate and we've got times

that she can make her own choices. And as long as she knows the consequences of those choices, it's all about education. On top of all of that, you have to be the change you want to see. It's all about you. Your kids ultimately will do what you do, not what you say. That's really the basis of it. They're going to push back, fight back. And now my daughter suddenly thinks that she's the one who came up with all these great ideas, reading healthy. Okay, good. I'm so happy about that. But finally, one thing I want to say, so you want to, don't just push spinach and chicken breast. Ask him to get involved. Like, what are your favorite foods?

So one of, you often say one of my gifts is taking unhealthy recipes. And the way that came up was because I wanted to be able to get this strong kid on board. Taking really healthy food and make it taste amazing. Right. But what I did was I got your favorite foods and her favorite foods because husbands are really like sometimes the biggest kid in your family when it comes to eating healthy. I know this has to taste good. So it has to taste good, right? I mean, it has to taste right. So you get their favorite recipes and you rehab them. I have got healthy recipes for

coconut shrimp and chicken fingers and chicken wings, and I could go on and on. But it's finding those. I brought those desserts in today to share with some visitors we had from out of the country. They were gone. I'm like, where did they go? They're really good. Two ingredients. They're so simple. So those are the things you want to be able to do. It has to taste good. So as I'm reading your question, I think one of the types he's got to have is either ring of fire or over-focused. And he's probably argumentative, oppositional, things don't go his way. He gets upset. I've dealt with thousands of people like that. And the more you push, the more they push back.

So I almost think of it like a hit and run. Just tell them what things could be helpful and don't push. And give them the opportunity, have a healing ADD through food and go, are there any things here that you want me to cook for you? And so how'd you feel today? What did you eat today? Just beginning to connect the dots can be so helpful. Get him to watch, if you will, even if you bribe him, the PBS show that Tan and I did. I'm totally not above bribery. I think it

works really well. I mean, most of the people in this room who are working to help put this on would actually not come to work if we didn't pay them. Actually, probably all of them wouldn't come to work. Let's just be honest. You're probably the only one that would come to work. I know I'm total sweat equity. I don't know what that's all about, but anyways, I love what I do. So if you push too hard, they push. That's just a teenager anyway. So now it's not. But now you have a hot brain. That's not true.

They've actually done studies. A little bit of that is normal. They've actually done studies. And a third of teenagers never have a problem. No, I'm not saying it's a problem. Another third of teenagers periodically will. And another third of teenagers, and my guess is he's fitting in there, they have a problem all the time because their brain is not optimized. And so if you can get him to understand from a neuroscience perspective, and that's where our high school course was just so powerful, is that we actually had kids.

Nobody cut the class ever. We had kids crashing the class because they wanted to learn about their brain. Now, and I have no idea if this is true, but if you have an over-focused kid, odds are one or both of the parents are over-focused too. So if you're really worried and you're push, push, pushing, I would tell you, think more like hit and run, give them a little bit of information and then back off. As Tana said earlier, live the message. Now, there's no rule you have to go out and buy the M&Ms and the Captain Crunch and all

of that. Absolutely not. But don't freak out if they do. But you want to be a good coach. And one of our favorite parenting books, we have one called New Skills for Frazzled Parents, which I dearly love. It's what I taught for a long time. And also another one, Love and Logic.

Parenting Teens with Love and Logic is really excellent just to give you some of those skills. And push comes to shove. You could bring them to one of the clinics and let us get a look because often seeing their brain makes a huge difference in helping them want a better brain. Yeah. A lot of teenagers I've seen radically change how they do things. Oh my goodness. We're running out of time. From Karen, I ordered Neuralink. Will this be effective supplement combo for ring of fire, limbic, and over-focused? Again, just for FTC reasons, I can't tell you what to do. My experience is really helpful for ring of fire.

That's actually why I developed it in my niece who had a ring of fire. Oh, by the way, just graduated from law school, passed the bar. I was very ring of fire. Oh, by the way, just graduated from law school, passed the bar. I was very proud of her. So for those three types in that combination, yes, that would be one of the ones I would think about as well. Gabba calming could also be helpful. I take the fifth amendment. Right. I know. See, I like being a little high strung. My husband loves when I take that product. So we're a little at odds on him wanting me to be really mellow and calm because he's really mellow and calm. I don't think that's ever going to happen. I saw you trying to slip with my tea. I know. Thanks for listening to today's show, The Brain Warrior's Way. Why don't you head over

to brainwarriorswaypodcast.com. That's brainwarriorswaypodcast.com, where Daniel and Tana have a gift for you just for subscribing to the show. And when you post your review on iTunes, you'll be entered into a drawing where you can win a VIP visit to one of the Amen Clinics. I'm Donnie Osmond, and I invite you to step up your brain game by joining us in the next episode.