Change Your Brain Every Day - Love & the Brain: The 6 Types
Episode Date: December 11, 2018Most people view love as a singular expression, but did you know that the Greeks had 6 different words for love, all based on specific types of expression? In this episode of The Brain Warrior’s Way... Podcast, Dr. Daniel Amen and Tana Amen define these 6 types of love, and then discuss how each of them relate to the health of your brain.
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Welcome to the Brain Warriors Way podcast.
I'm Dr. Daniel Amen.
And I'm Tana Amen.
Here we teach you how to win the fight for your brain to defeat anxiety, depression,
memory loss, ADHD, and addictions.
The Brain Warriors Way podcast is brought to you by Amen Clinics, where we've transformed
lives for three decades using brain spec imaging to better target treatment and natural ways to heal the brain.
For more information, visit amenclinics.com.
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For more information,
visit brainmdhealth.com. Welcome to the Brain Warriors Way podcast.
Welcome back. Feel better fast, make it last. Brain XL, got to get your brain right,
your rational mind right, your attachments, your inspiration, your nutrition.
We talked about the lessons from imaging, the X factor, and now we're talking about love.
My favorite topic, especially when I'm hanging out with you.
And the way you guys love us
is by writing reviews of the podcast.
And two quickly quickly, from Monty Kaiser, wow, it's good
to hear that other people go through this stuff too. So being real, and this is from Oliver,
thank you very much for this wonderful podcast. Hypnosis series series coming from a Christian perspective. I was very skeptical about hypnosis,
especially because Christians are supposed to be vigilant and very careful when relaxing and
giving up control. Your talk helped me a lot to see hypnosis from another perspective.
See, I don't understand that. To me, I feel like when you practice meditation and hypnosis from another perspective. See, I don't understand that. To me, it's, I feel like when you practice meditation and hypnosis, that's, that is you controlling your, your,
it's you controlling your moods, your psyche without, because we all struggle, right? It's,
I don't understand that perspective. I mean, I understand where it's coming from. I just don't
understand why, because that is you taking control of the outcome of how you're feeling without relying on
medications, without being subject to the outside world. So I'm a little confused by that.
Well, and it's about how people don't really understand that hypnosis is not being under
someone's spell. Like I would never go to someone I don't trust anyways. So why would you? That it's teaching your brain to get into a natural state of healing.
But I always pray first anyway.
So, but I wouldn't, why would you go to someone you don't trust?
So that doesn't, I don't know.
I'm a little confused by that.
But anyways.
So let's talk about six different types of love.
The Greeks have four words for love, but C.S. Lewis, one of my favorite
authors, talks about need love and gift love. And brain health is both of those. You need to do it because if your habits aren't right, it puts you at risk
for anxiety, depression, cognitive impairment, pain, a lack of focus, and so on. So I would argue
you need to do this. And gift love is by doing this for yourself,
you're modeling a better life for your children, for your grandchildren,
for your coworkers, for your employees.
And it's about love.
Now, the Greeks had four words for love.
Storge, love, which is affectionate love between family members,
so husband and wife, mother and child, father and daughter, father and son. Phileo, which is
love between friends. And Philadelphia is the city of brotherly love. Eros, which is passionate
love. And agape, which is selfless love. It's really the highest form of love. And
as I was thinking about that, is doing the right thing applies to all six of these forms
of love. I need to do it so I stay healthy. When I do the right thing, I model it for those people
around me. So it's good for my family, Storge. It's good for my friends, Phileo, and people get better together or they
get sick together. It's a community. It's totally good for arrows, for passion. And
close your ears because you don't like when I talk about this. But one of the most common things
my male patients tell me when they get on the plan is their erections are
better.
Why don't I,
I'm a nurse.
Why would you say I don't like when you talk about it?
Because you think I'm obsessed with sex.
Well,
I do think you're obsessed with sex,
but I mean,
that's just a fact.
I mean,
we do have some things that are just like,
you know,
I'm a nurse.
So not like I don't.
When you're married to a smoking hot woman.
So good.
That's where you just cross the line from like talking about things from a
technical standpoint on the podcast over the line like that.
You do it every time.
Sorry.
You just never stick with it.
Beautiful women make you stupid.
You know that.
So it's good for your sex life.
Beautiful women do not make me stupid.
I am not going there.
I'm not even going to go there at all.
Just don't.
See, I didn't even.
Okay.
Never mind.
Moving on.
Agape love.
Selfless love.
The highest form of love is doing the right thing because it's good for the planet.
And we actually didn't talk about soul food under nutrition,
but it's a term I came up with that you want it sustainable,
unadulterated, organic, and locally grown.
So when you make the right choices for your food,
it's about love and do you remember this when you taught
the brain warriors way course that a woman took it and she's overweight and I
think it was lesson two she started crying in the class. And the reason that she started crying is that she
thought she was treating her children with sweets. Oh yeah. Do you remember that story? Do you want
to tell it? Well, I'm confusing it because when I was teaching Omni, the same thing happened,
but it was about halfway through the course. Um, so it's happened a couple of times, actually, it's not an uncommon thing to happen. Um, so, um, not sure which one you're referring to, but similar things
happen. So I'm going to, I'm going to pick one of them. Um, I remember Alicia coming in. She was
like, she got really angry and then she broke out into tears and she came in and she said she was
upset. And I'm like, why, what's going on? I thought she was upset about something in the course. And she said, no,
I'm angry because all this time I thought that I was doing the right thing.
Every time my kids would do something, well, we would go out for ice cream.
We would go out for, you know, a treat.
We'd go out and we'd buy candy or we'd go to, you know, get something.
It was always food driven. And she said, I never, it never crossed my mind
that by doing that, I was hurting my children. And she said, and now my children are suffering
the same health problems that I have. They are overweight. They are, you know, they have brain
fog. They've got these problems that I have. They've got the same health issues are developing
that I have. And she said, and I just, I feel this guilt
now that I understand. And she said, and I'm like, okay, so what is, what's the good news
about that? She's like, well, I'm changing how I see treats. I'm changing how I see celebrating
victories. And I'm going to start planting that with my children. And they did, they started doing
these amazing things as a family going for hikes and bike rides and spending time together, but in a healthy way.
So I was watching, I don't know, we haven't talked much about it on the podcast, but I'm a huge Lakers fan.
And we had season tickets for a number of years.
I was watching a new documentary.
It was called Love, a basketball story.
And Shaquille O'Neal was on and talked about how his father,
who was a police officer, was actually fairly abusive to him.
He's just not someone I'd be abusive to.
He'd belittle him and say really hurtful things.
And he would cry and his grandmother would give him pound cake and ice cream as a way to soothe him.
And, and then my grandmother later that, you know, he really struggled with his weight because the message he got about love was attached to food.
So very much like Alicia or like what your grandmother would do.
Warm, fresh Syrian bread with just, just, just dripping with butter.
And then she put honey or a little bit of sugar on it.
It was crazy.
Right.
But she ended up with diabetes and she was obese.
And it was not a good thing for her.
And so how are you loving the people in your life? Are you loving them with things that hurt them? Or
are you loving them with things that help them? Because really what children want is not sugar.
I mean, yes, they want sugar, but that's not what they really want. They want your time.
And so going for a walk with them, playing games with them,
talking to them or what you've done with Chloe for years and years,
reading with them.
I was at the nail salon with Chloe just yesterday and I was, I was,
the lady goes, Oh, are these together? And I'm like, yeah, someday,
maybe she's going to treat me. But for now it's still on me. And she goes, you're always here with your daughter. And I said,, yeah, someday maybe she's going to treat me. But for now, it's still on me.
And she goes, you're always here with your daughter.
And I said, no, yeah.
I said, like, she hangs out with me all the time.
I'm like, I can't.
I'd have to push her to go hang out with her friends.
She goes, she looked at me funny.
And she goes, I have teenagers.
She goes, your daughter wants to hang out with you?
And I said, yeah.
She like always wants to hang out with me.
She goes, isn't that a little weird?
It was just a funny way she said it.
She goes, how did you do that? Like I did some kind of voodoo on my daughter. It's because I
just always spent time with her. I mean, that's honestly, that's the only thing. It's just,
I spent time with her and I listened to her even when it was hours upon hours of things that
were just senseless to me, like Justin Bieber, you know, that made no sense.
I just listened. And so now she, you know, that, that left that opening for her to always come to
me and talk. Doing the right thing is about love. Stay with us. Use the code podcast10 to get a 10% discount on a full evaluation at amenclinics.com
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