Change Your Brain Every Day - Negative Thoughts: What Happens when You Escape Chaos with Alize Castellanos

Episode Date: August 6, 2019

If you come from a chaotic environment, whether that be caused by your family life, past a trauma, or a medical condition, it can be very difficult to rid your mind of negative thoughts. So what does ...the path look like for someone trying to make it out the other side? In the second episode of a series with Alize Castellano, Dr. Amen and Tana interview Alize about the tools she used to put her tough past behind her and find a more calm, promising future.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Brain Warriors Way podcast. I'm Dr. Daniel Amen. And I'm Tana Amen. In our podcast, we provide you with the tools you need to become a warrior for the health of your brain and body. The Brain Warriors Way podcast is brought to you by Amen Clinics, where we have been transforming lives for 30 years using tools like brain spec imaging to personalize treatment to your brain. For more information, visit amenclinics.com. The Brain Warriors Way podcast is also brought to you by BrainMD, where we produce the highest quality nutraceuticals to support the health of your brain and body. To learn more, go to brainmd.com. Welcome back. It's such a special day. We are talking about change your brain, change your grades. We're here with our niece, Alize. We did last week with Chloe and Chloe and Alize both helped Daniel with change your brain, change your grades. And it's such a
Starting point is 00:01:03 special treat to have you here. And today we're going to talk about killing the ants. So Alizé, we told your story in the last, if you didn't hear her story in the last episode, you've got to listen to it. It's amazing. She had a really hard time. Her upbringing was really hard, but she's chosen. She just made the decision she was going to do great in school, and you have. But one thing we touched on and we want to talk about in this episode is it wasn't always easy because you had a lot of negative thoughts. When you first came down here, when we got you out of foster care and brought you down here, um, you were like infested with these negative thoughts. You were sure we were going away. You were sure we were leaving you. You were not going to get attached. You were not going to, you just weren't
Starting point is 00:01:41 going to do it. And, um, it was, it was a process getting you past that and, and getting connected. So let's ask her, do you remember some of the thoughts you had? Um, I mean, I remember one of the ones in foster care, which was, does anybody want us? That was a really hard thought. Yes. Um, and like Tana said, definitely struggled with that for quite a bit of time. But because some of the reoccurring ones were – And they're going to leave me. They're going to leave me.
Starting point is 00:02:12 They're going to leave me. Definitely that. Don't get attached. Like nothing is nothing – because, I mean, very few things in my life have been consistent or stable. Except chaos. Except chaos. Except chaos. That's what you can expect.
Starting point is 00:02:24 So you might as well like don't expect anything else. So school and chaos. Yes., except chaos. That's what you can expect, so you might as well, like, don't expect anything else. So school and chaos. Yeah, school and chaos. School and chaos, school and chaos. And so. Oh, I know one you told me. Don't count on anyone.
Starting point is 00:02:34 I can only count on myself. Yes, yes. That's one that's been so big for me. It's, like, that kind of independent thing. Like, don't, but not even just independent. Like, don't count on anyone. You cannot trust anybody. Like, I can't trust anybody.
Starting point is 00:02:46 Nobody cares. A lot of them. Everybody's in it for something else or, like, something like that. Like, everything like that. They don't really want to help. They're going to leave me soon. Like, this isn't forever. Like, I need to get ready to pack up my bags again.
Starting point is 00:02:58 Like, there's so many, so many ants that the exterminators came to town. So we were good after that yeah so how did you manage because i've noticed your anxiety still pops up but it's so much less than before so what are some of the things you've learned i mean obviously having support and consistent people who love you and care for you. Definitely. Stability. It took time. Yes. But you have a role in that, right? See, I always try to teach my patients not to blame other people for how their life is turning out and go, what kind of influence, right? Because you could have ran away. You could have not done well in school. You could have hung out with the wrong people, right? Because they're everywhere, right?
Starting point is 00:03:53 But you didn't. So walk us through that process. What were some of the things that were really helpful for you? So one thing about me, I've just always like assumed responsibility for my own, where I go in life and like my own success, because if nobody else is really going to, or nobody else in the past has like stepped up for me, then I'm going to do that. Like, it's going to be for me. I'm not going to allow myself to go do those kinds of things because like you said, that has nothing to do with where I want to go um but there's anxiety anxiety like crazy um I've had it a lot whether it be about oh they're gonna leave or oh this and oh that um but for me I've had some really amazing cool like coping coping tools and like coping skills um that have been in my toolbox that you guys have introduced
Starting point is 00:04:41 me to like killing the ants and like actually talking about it, which for one that I never would have done before. I never would have done before because I felt like if I vocalized it, it was real. It was finally real. And, but it is real, even if you don't vocalize it. And when you talk to somebody, it's just, it works wonders, honestly. Pain shared is pain divided. Exactly. Yes. yes. Meditation, definitely. When I'm able to visualize about being in a better place when I'm in that bad place. And visualization, like that's amazing. And just those deep breaths, deep breaths, getting zen. One of the first things we taught you when you were having a panic attack was how to breathe with your tummy and how to slow your breathing down. We also helped you with some supplements
Starting point is 00:05:25 and put you in the oxygen chamber. The oxygen chamber is not what a lot of people listening aren't going to be able to just go out and get into an oxygen chamber. But I know we did do that and some supplements probably helped. And your nutrition was definitely not optimized before. Oh, no. So that's bad. We had to get you to break up with hot Cheetos.
Starting point is 00:05:43 Yeah. It was tragic, but I'm so happy. Do you know that KFC now up with hot cheetos yeah it was tragic but do you know that kfc now has a hot cheeto sandwich wait we have to tell the story i can't say i'm surprised i have to we have to that's hilarious this this speaks to your survival instinct yes when she first got here hustling and now she doesn't have to do this anymore because we're involved right yes tell the story about how you were selling food. So my school has a vending machine, and I decided that it would be a good idea to buy hot Cheetos for like a dollar, like buy many bags, and go into class and sell them to kids for $2. You're an entrepreneur.
Starting point is 00:06:17 I was an entrepreneur, but I was a little hustler. I'm like, I'm going to make some money on the side. This is a good business. And I thought I was so smart, and I told Daniel this in the car and he's like that he was just like so you're poisoning your friends you're poisoning your friends he's a drug dealer daniel probably wasn't the person to tell this because he's like he was no we were horrified that she thought she needed to do this exactly and but these are the kinds of things. But it was very entrepreneurial. Yeah, see? Keep me around.
Starting point is 00:06:49 All right, so let's talk about. So that kind of survived in the past. Yes. Let's talk about killing the ants. Whenever you feel sad or you feel mad or you feel nervous or you feel out of control, which was basically most of your life. Every day. Every day.
Starting point is 00:07:10 We want you to write down what you're thinking. So rather than ignore it, write it down. Because when you write it down, it helps to get it out of your head. And then you can ask yourself, is it true? Can I absolutely know if it's true? How does this bad thought make me feel? And when you answer that question, you go, that's why you feel bad, because you have bad thoughts. Yes.
Starting point is 00:07:33 And turn the original thought around. So I can't depend on anyone. Write that down. I can't depend on it. Is that true? It's my experience. Is it absolutely true? Well, i don't know right and then when you turn it around i can depend on someone it's like well do you have evidence that you can you actually have a lot of evidence i have a lot
Starting point is 00:07:58 of evidence that you can right and especially when the people in your life are not doing drugs, they're more dependable. Yes, exactly. Right? And then you have people who abhor drugs and they're really dependable. Which just, if you want to be a dependable person, you need to stay away from that stuff because it's just, it steals so many lives. 100%. Right? But the thing that often drives people to drug use is believing the thoughts they have.
Starting point is 00:08:30 Right? It's, I'm so anxious. People are going to abandon me. I need to medicate the feeling. The problem is, is it makes them much more likely to abandon you. Yes, yes. Yes, it makes more problems.
Starting point is 00:08:45 It does, a lot more. And one thing about that and how it completely steals your life, my dad, I just came back in contact with him recently, and I was not in contact with him for a while because, just briefly, I just want to briefly talk about it, he, drugs definitely took his whole personality away. It was, and how I put it to my mom recently when I was walking with her, it's just I kind of had a full circle moment.
Starting point is 00:09:10 And it's like that was not my dad. The man that was on those drugs, that was just not him. And I wouldn't talk to him, and I had all this resentment. And then when I find, he's been sober for, I don't know how many months, but he's been sober for. Almost six months. Almost six months. He's been sober, and he's in a good environment right now with family um they don't have the best food there
Starting point is 00:09:28 but but he reminds me of the person i used to know as well yes he's starting to be his person i just like i never thought this was going to happen again but it was just like one of the most beautiful moments when i finally realized that it's still my dad and i still have a dad and his and after he got sober just his personality the best parts of him like the best parts of the old him that i like to hold on to were shining through and i was just like wow and i got that full circle of just the crazy crazy crazy impact that drugs can have on you and how they can completely take a person away but they can come back and that's one of the main things is that they can come back sometimes really it's really sometimes sometimes sometimes they can come back yes that's why i'm very invested in helping you be very
Starting point is 00:10:11 afraid because if you have the genetic vulnerability and the stress which you and amelie have had it it doesn't mean you will. It means we have to keep your brain healthy so your thoughtful brain is in control of your emotion. Yeah, because you'll go one way or the other. In my case, I ended up hating them and I had a lot of resentment toward people who did drugs. And I had to work through that. That wasn't always healthy either, right? Right. So we want you to be balanced. And we're so happy that you're being reconnected to him as long as he's not going to hurt you.
Starting point is 00:10:56 Yes. As long as he stays sober. And we've seen this, that when one person starts on drugs, they're not them. When we come back, we're going to talk about responsibility. And if you really want to change your brain and change your grades, you have to take ownership of that. When you start blaming the teacher, blaming your boss, you become a victim and you can't change anything. Sign up. Go to brainwarriorswaypodcast.com. Leave us a comment, a question, a review. And in the subject line, write, change your brain,
Starting point is 00:11:43 change your grades, raffle. We're going to give away a free signed copy of the book every day. Stay with us. If you're enjoying the Brain Warriors Way podcast, please don't forget to subscribe so you'll always know when there's a new episode. And while you're at it, feel free to give us a review or five-star rating as that helps others find the podcast. If you're considering coming to Amen Clinics or trying some of the brain-healthy supplements
Starting point is 00:12:03 from BrainMD, you can use the code PODCAST10 to get a 10% discount on a full evaluation at amenclinics.com or a 10% discount on all supplements at brainmdhealth.com. For more information, give us a call at 855-978-1363.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.