Change Your Brain Every Day - Sex on the Brain: Intimacy and Blood Flow - Part 3 of an Interview with Dr. Emily Morse

Episode Date: April 12, 2017

In part 3 of an interview with Dr. Emily Morse, Dr. Daniel Amen and Tana continue their discussion on intimacy. Learn how anxiety, blood flow, and overall health may be sabotaging your sex life, and what you can do about it.

The Brain Warriors Way podcast is brought to you by Amen Clinics. Amen Clinics represents a true paradigm shift in mental health, utilizing SPECT imaging technology for assessing brain function. Amen Clinics focuses on personalized treatment plans and has an 85% proven outcome rate for patients. For more information, visit amenclinics.com or call at 1-888-288-9834. Hi, I'm Donnie Osmond and welcome to the Brain Warriors Way hosted by my friends Daniel and Tana Amon. Now in this podcast, you're going to learn that the war for your health

is one between your ears. That's right. If you're ready to be sharper and have better memory, mood, energy, and focus, well then stay with us. Here are Daniel and Tana Amen. We are back with Dr. Emily Morse. We are having so much fun talking about sex and relationships and how to make it right, what could potentially be wrong, how to fix some of these things, and how mostly to have fun. So welcome back, Dr. Emily.

You are also a friend. You actually work with a friend of ours, Dr. Drew Pinsky, and you've got articles in Huffington Post and the New York Times. I mean, you're really well-respected in the sex field. So talk to us today about erections and what else are we talking about besides erections? Well, let's stay with that because it's just a huge problem. 40% of 40-year-olds, according to a study from Boston, have erectile dysfunction. And 70% of 70-year-olds have erectile dysfunction. And we talk about if you have blood flow problems anywhere, it likely means they're everywhere. So it's actually one of the signs of brain dysfunction because your brain uses 20% of the blood flow in your body. And you've already said your brain is the biggest

sex organ. So talk to us about your experience helping people with erectile dysfunction. Okay. I mean, there's so many, okay. Erectile dysfunction, dysfunction i mean they can be you know premature ejaculators they can't they get can't get hard they think they're hard they get soft the whole thing and i think a lot of it to the brain for a lot of guys it can be some part of a greater issue but also it's anxiety so a lot for men it happens once they couldn't get hard and then they they think that it's going to keep happening again and again so i think for a lot of men um it has to do it can be an anxious so it's sort of traumatic is again and again. So I think for a lot of men, it has to do, it can be an anxious disorder.

So it's sort of traumatic. Is that what I'm hearing you say? No, like they have like a trauma by it. They're like, oh my God, I didn't get a partner and it's going to keep happening. Of course, there's like, you know, there's a lot of different reasons for it.

I think for men, it's also has to do with a lot of times with masturbation, like learning how to understand your, I mean, every time I work out, are you talking about premature ejaculation, any kind of erectile dysfunction? Because there's so many different ways to deal with it. Are you talking about lack of blood flow or premature ejaculation? Well, there's so many things to talk about. So one, if you don't have healthy habits and you're hypertensive –

You're not healthy. You're not eating healthy. You're not taking care of yourself. You're not healthy. You're not eating healthy. You're not taking care of yourself. You're not exercising. You're smoking. You're eating fatty foods. Yes, you're going to probably have problems with your penis. That is going to happen. And you think that would be enough to get men healthy, right? Because they don't want anything. I mean, certainly enough to keep me healthy. It's like, let's do the right thing so you can make love to your wife when you're 100. In fact, when I was an intern at the Walter Reed Army Medical Center,

I had one of my favorite patients was 100 years old. He had a hernia operation. And I just loved him. And the day he was discharged, he's like, come here, come here, come here. And because I was a psych intern, so I was like the only one that actually talked to him. And he said, how long? And and i'm like how long for what how long can before i can have sex with my

wife and i'm like thank you so much you just like made my year um you know that it doesn't have to stop so you so that just gave you hope is that what you're saying uh hope yeah and unless it doesn't have to stop unless you've not made good decisions and taken care of your blood vessels and your health. So, you know, given I'm always thinking about long-term goals is, you know, that matters. So we talk about that a lot on this podcast. What about premature ejaculation? Common problem for guys and as

you said once it happens they then get anticipatory anxiety about it's like stage fright and it perpetuates itself for premature ejaculation i mean i think for many it can be yeah it can be for a lot of different reasons but they have have, again, for them, it takes, you can take masturbation, like you can take learning their, it's like using the stop starments. retrain how they um how they masturbate and how they have sex but they have to understand um their uh what when i say their route you know their um where my brain just goes like an arousal so they're feeling and and it's like there's a sex therapy strategy where they get almost there and then they stop yeah it's a use So understanding, I call it the point of no return. So when you're masturbating, you can, for a lot of men, they're like, I don't have a jack-of-the-door control.

I don't understand when it's going to happen or not. So it can just be exercises that they're doing on their own. And when they're masturbating, like, okay, they get to the point where they're about to have an orgasm and they stop and they can't and they do it again and they stop and start. So they can recognize when it's going to happen and they know how to slow down and they know how to accept their partner or their partner can totally help them with this so you don't have to do this alone um your partner can totally and and your relationship is good if you see a problem like this right as a problem problem to be solved rather than you're going to leave me if I don't fix this. I want to interject that because you said something earlier about men, this is not all about you.

But the same goes for women. Women get their feelings hurt really easily. And it's like, oh, okay, so you didn't take care of me or it becomes like, you know, some big thing as opposed to, okay, maybe I could be helpful. Like, how can I be helpful and talk to him without shaming him? So big secret, big secret, pay attention. I read this one book I loved, helped me for the rest of my life.

It's called She Comes First. Me and Kern are best, yes. Love that book. So guys, if you're having trouble in this area, just help her have her orgasm first. And then whatever issue comes up, it's not as big a deal as, and then premature ejaculation is an issue.

So this is where Prozac actually works. It has cleared 100% of my premature ejaculators. It's a huge problem. I don't like SSRIs in general, and I really don't use them, except here. 10 milligrams of Prozac. It just fixes this issue because it's one of the side effects. It delays orgasm. But you can work through it doing the technique that Dr. Emily's talking about.

Stop. Start with it. Also, yeah, I was going to say, too, The Multi-Orgasmic Male is a great book that for a lot of men can read. It has a lot of different techniques in there. But also, yeah, please her first. If you're afraid, it's okay to start and then to actually like stop and make sure she has her orgasm and then maybe your anxiety level will go down and then you'll

be able to have sex but like and you know it's okay and also the other thing about men and erections since we're on this topic is you asked me earlier like what is my audience more listeners more male more female and i think it is more male I know it's more male because they often don't talk about sex. Even when they go to their doctors, you probably know this. They could be having problems with their penis. They're not going to talk to their doctors about it. I can't tell you how many guys like, well, just get checked out. Make sure nothing's wrong.

I can't talk to my doctor. You're right. That's what you should do. They feel like there's, there's so much shame around it. But yet it's so important for men to have full penis strength and to understand and help, but yet they won't talk about it. There's so much shame too for men. Isn't that crazy?

Because sex is everywhere and it's used for Carl's Jr., for goodness sakes, right? I mean, it's just everywhere. But I wrote a movie once on, it's called An Intimate Parent-Child Talk. It's about the things parents should talk to their kids, but never do. And I did a study and I found out that 90% of men did not talk to their sons about sex. That if someone talked to the boys about sex, it was the mom. And I'm like, well, that's just completely wrong. Because, you know, I learned about it from my older brother when he was like 10 and he didn't have good information. So I had bad information for, you know, most of

my young life. There's one more thing I have to say is, is permessant. I can't believe I didn't bring up, there's something called permacent, right? And you can get it like Rite Aid now or online. And it's a quickly absorbing delay spray that it was only FDA approved treatment for premature ejaculation. And it's worked for so many of my listeners. I've been talking about it for about four years. You apply it to your penis like 10 minutes before sex. It absorbs into the membrane.

So it doesn't transfer to your part if you wait 10 minutes. And I would say like in 60%, 70% of of men they lasted twice as long oh and what's it called it's called promescent p-r-o-m-e-s-c-e-n-t it's on my website sexwithemily.com um you donated a prescription for it fda approved now i think it's at Rite Aid. It might have been at Target. I'm not sure. It just helps you last twice as long. Interesting. And probably fewer side effects than Prozac. That's what I'm saying. For me, SSRI is to take it

just for sex. There's so many other side effects that come along with it that I think if you get a bottle of permescent, I've used it with a partner as well and it's like it's not like you know it's it's it's absorbing delay spray that's like slightly like oh but it's gonna like numb it's not that like it you still have great sensation but um you last longer it's been good but you want a little bit less sensation right or at least short term you know short term, so that you can have better control. Like it's not, that's not a strategy.

All right, I'm getting hot. It's like two beautiful women talking about sex. It's... TMI, TMI. We are going to come back and talk with Dr. Emily about ADD and sex. So helpful. Stay with us.

You're listening to the Brain Warriors Way podcast. Thanks for listening to today's show, the Brain Warriors Way. Why don't you head over to brainwarriorswaypodcast.com. That's brainwarriorswaypodcast.com where Daniel and Tana have a gift for you just for subscribing to the show.

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