Change Your Brain Every Day - Tarek El Moussa: The Painful Secrets Behind His Wild Success

Episode Date: June 9, 2025

“Flip or Flop” star Tarek El Moussa seemed to have it all—hit TV shows, fame, fortune—but behind the scenes, his life was falling apart. In this deeply revealing episode, Tarek opens up to Dr. Daniel Amen and Tana Amen about the hidden brain struggles that shaped his life: birth trauma, multiple mental health diagnoses, alcoholism, cancer, toxic self-talk, and a near breakdown at the height of his career. After a revealing brain scan and emotional conversation, he begins to understand why he’s struggled for so long—and what he can do to finally heal. This is a relatable story of turning pain into passion and rebuilding from within. 00:00 Intro 00:44 Sponsor 01:08 Chance Encounter 05:45 Why I Am the Way I Am 08:13 Your Brain is Hurt 13:23 Coming Off of Meds 16:09 Turning Pain into Fuel 18:03 The Birth of the “Flip” Empire 24:04 The Brain’s Rejection of Success 26:06 The Last Day as a Family 31:46 Self-Medication 34:32 Tarek’s Brain SPECT Scan (Surface) 36:30 Neuropsychological Testing 42:04 Mental Hygiene 48:48 Parents/Self-Talk 51:33 The Plan 57:48 Sponsor 58:36 Wrap Up

I was living in a 7,300 square foot house at a Lamborghini in the garage. I grew up in Buena Park, California to immigrants. I had everything and I absolutely hated myself in my life. And that's when I knew this isn't normal. Tarek Al Moussa is an American real estate investor and TV personality. He is best known for co-hosting HGTV's Flip or Flop alongside his then wife Christina Hack.

And more recently for his new shows, The Flipping Almusas and The Flip Off. When I was young, it was the fuel to prove that I'm not dumb, I'm not bad, and I am good. Looking back at my life 2020 in hindsight, I'm like, man, give yourself a break. I was so awful to myself. What do you think? Because I hated myself. I hated myself that I gained 16 pounds. I hated myself that I was an awful to myself. What do you think? Because I hated myself. Hated myself that I gained 60 pounds. I hated myself that I was an alcoholer.

Hated myself that I was in high school. I was in good shape and off popular. And then within six months my life was in the toilet. And I was just a really bad downhill survivor. Every day you are making your brain better or you are making it worse. Stay with us to learn how you can change your brain for the better every day. This podcast is brought to you by the Change Your Brain Foundation, dedicated to ending the concept of mental illness by creating a revolution in brain health.

Go to changeyourbrain.org to learn how you can support our mission. We are so excited for our guest today. This is actually a dear friend of mine and I wanna tell the story if I can in a second, but Tarek El Moussa, you probably know him as the king of flipping and absolutely you have to have seen him on HGTV he has so many any show that starts with flip the flip

off the flipping El Moussa's flipping 101 flip or flop right? Oh my gosh you nailed all the shows yeah right 100% so but I have to tell the story really quick if I can about how I came to know you guys because it's kind of a crazy story. I had never seen any of those shows because I'm one of the few people who didn't watch any type of reality TV where it's so busy. I just never watched it. So I didn't know who you were.

I didn't know who Heather was. And we had just moved into our neighborhood. And unfortunately, my mother passed away shortly after we moved into our neighborhood. I had moved her in with me. And I inherited some property. And the first three houses that I inherited were hoarder houses. So it was a very stressful time for me. I'm trying to manage, you know, grieving.

I'm trying to manage the estate. I'm trying to manage these hoarder houses. And this was new to me. This was not what I planned on doing at this stage of my life. And I was not sleeping at night. I was so stressed out. So I start searching like what to do with the hoarder house and somehow your face came up. So I Google, I Google hoarder house and your face popped up. So, so I started watching your

show and then all of a sudden my husband's like, why are you up all night watching the show? What is the matter with you? And I'm like, it's like anti-anxiety medication for me because it took something that was so stressful for me and normalized it. And I'm like, it's like anti-anxiety medication for me because it took something that was so stressful for me and normalized it. And I'm like, if they can do it, like they're showing that this is possible to do. And I know I'm not the only person this has happened to, but that's how stressed out I was.

So I put my CIA hat on and I'm like, I'm gonna find this person. I'm gonna find this person, not like a stalker, but I'm gonna find this person so that I can hire someone from this company. I figured you would never do it, but I'm going to hire someone from this company to consult with." Like that was my goal.

Yeah, I love it. So I'll keep it short, but basically that's what I did. And I never expected to sort of meet you. And turns out the weirdest thing, you're not only my neighbors, like very close neighbors, but you guys were so nice and you showed up at my mom's house with me and walked the house and you just gave me a day of like telling me what to do, how to do it.

You just were so kind and we've been friends ever since. And I thought, you know, I thought that would never happen just because you guys are so busy and you're big. And anyways, that's how we all came together. And it was my little story about my anxiety. And you used me. I did, I used you. I did, cause he doesn't take new patients.

He's like, I can't take any new patients. I'm like, oh no, you're going to. Like, I love you, but you're going to. So I was hoping he would never find out I needed to be a patient. That's why I was all so quiet. I'll be like, he's not gonna read me today. Well, but he sees people to optimize brains too, right?

We see a lot of high level people like you guys because they wanna optimize their business. They wanna optimize their performance. It's like, we're gonna do the same thing you do. You take these properties that are distressed and you make them incredible. Magnificent. And so I think, you know, as we show your brain, it can be

better. Yeah. And six months from now, if you do what I ask you to do, it's going to be just like your show. You're going to like go, whoa. And that matters, right? I mean, where you live matters every day to your mood, your happiness. But where your brain is every day, that matters perhaps more. And guess what is the one thing I've never really thought about? The brain.

Because you can't see it. Because you can't see it. But to answer your question earlier, you were shocked that we went out and we met with you The truth is you know life has been somewhat of a struggle for me and so today my favorite thing to do is to help people reduce pain and remove stress and Help them accomplish things that will make their life easier and better Well, you guys have been magnificent and you guys are so fun and so sweet so we just wanted to share some of this. Yeah we're so excited that we

became friends with you guys seriously because you know it was funny because we had saw you walking in the neighborhood one time and I told Heather I said I think I think that's that's Dr. Eamon and his wife and she goes really and then I was like a week later we got the message and I said I knew I saw it exactly I said I'm not crazy I know I saw you guys because I'd seen you on social media watching your podcast. So great. So how can we help you the most? What's your goal in being here? My number one goal is to really understand why I am the way I am. I have always wondered that. Why can't I be more patient? Why can't I be more calm? Why can't I follow instructions? Why am I

always in trouble? Why was I the bad kid in school? And no matter what I did, I remember one time I was in third grade, I had this whole thing set up with my teachers, and if I didn't get the red card for the week, I get a Baskin-Robbins. I never got an ice cream. So my whole life, you know, I really did try and that's the thing. I'm a trier and throughout my life I would always fail. And then eventually I would win, but I wouldn't win in the same way that everybody else would. I would win by figuring out how to get what I want by trial and error and

figuring out how to do things my own way. Like I taught myself how to invest in real estate, how to flip house. I'll be honest, like I have no idea how to do the my own way. Like I taught myself how to invest in real estate out of flip house. I'll be honest, like I have no idea how to do the underwriting that, you know, a normal real estate investor would do because I do it all in my head. So I think this is so important because I think most people would look at you

and say you are like wildly successful and they wouldn't know that. And I think that's so important because they don't know the struggle that goes on with so many people who are wildly successful. And it's really an important thing to know. Yeah.

And honestly, I use that as my fuel. When I was young, it was the fuel to prove that I'm not dumb, I'm not bad, and I am good. And then I made money, and then of course my ego got out of control because I am better than I thought I was. I'm not bad and I am good. And then I made money and then of course my ego got out of control. Because I am better than I thought I was. I'm not a loser. And then I lost everything during the Great Recession. I said, well I tricked myself, I am a loser.

And then you know the beautiful thing is life goes on and you get more beat up and more beat up and you learn and you learn. And you know I'm at the point now where you know looking back at my life 2020 hindsight I'm like, man give yourself a break I was so awful to myself when I was young. Why do you think? Because I hated myself I hated how I looked I hated the fact that I was drinking too much I hated the fact that I couldn't stop eating the

foods that was making me fat I hated myself that I gained 60 pounds. I hated myself that I was an alcoholic. Hated myself that I was you know in high school I was in good shape and I was popular and then within six months my life was in the toilet and I was just a really bad downhill spiral. Yeah so I've had a couple bottomings in my life. So let's start with your scan. Sure. Perfect brain, right? Well, now you're married to somebody who. Can we just put hers up there and say it's mine?

Yes. That's it. A beautiful brain. And yours is hurt. And when I read your history, and the thing that stood out to me was you had a traumatic birth. Yeah, very.

And most people don't know that if you're born early, if your lungs aren't working, if you have high bilirubin and you're jaundiced, that that can negatively impact your brain, which then will give you learning problems, which then you start to hate yourself because you see yourself different than other people. How premature were you?

I don't remember, I know I was five pounds. I had seven blood transfusions, I had jaundice, I had blue, bully ribbon. They told my mom I had cerebral palsy. Oh. And then I had failing lungs, so they gave me an experimental drug to see if it would work, and it worked.

Yeah. So you, yeah, you really went through a lot. Yeah, and yeah, yeah. And then that's when I was born. And then when I think I told you when I was four, I was climbing a tree, fell out of the tree, landed on bricks, cracked my head open, went to the hospital, had to get surgery.

Yeah. And so we have the premature birth, the head trauma, the anesthesia, people don't know this, but children who, the anesthesia. People don't know this, but children who have general anesthesia have a higher incidence of learning problems in ADD all by itself because anesthesia can often be toxic to brain function. And then later on there are more head injuries, right?

And so as we look at this brain, and then you talked about substance abuse, and you hate yourself because you don't understand, it's not you, it's what happened to you. And you didn't have control of that. And despite that, you've been wildly successful. And so the goal, just like your goal on the hoarder houses, is to rehabilitate it.

It's to be thoughtful, purposeful, goal-oriented. You gotta do the right things. If you don't do the right things, you don't do the right things you don't get the right result right and Your brain can be so much better And then life becomes easier, but your brain because of the stress and trauma Got trained of the stress and trauma got trained to hate you. And we have to redo the way you think.

Yeah, and you know, when I mention that or when I say that to people, they think it's, you know, it's a crazy statement to make, but you know, if anyone knows, as a doctor, you understand, you know, it's not crazy statement to make, but you know, if anyone knows as a doctor, you understand, you know, it's not something I want to feel. It's not something I enjoy feeling. It's just this little voice just telling you, you could be better and you're not enough

and you still haven't proven you're good enough and you're not worthy. So- I suffered from a lot of that for a long time. And I grew up in a lot of crazy and trauma. But you know, I've seen some of the world's most famous people and they all start start with I'm not enough. And I looked at them, you know, whether Oscar winning

actors or Grammy winning artists, and I'm like, if you're not enough, who is? Yeah, and then from my not enough comes down to not the financial part, well no, I mean that too, but mostly not like I struggle with like, oh man, I'm not being a good friend or I'm not being a good dad or I'm not being a good husband or I'm spread too thin. I have to spend more time with my kids but I can't because I'm traveling for work. And it's just these

ruminating thoughts that just are torturous for me. And then the way I get out of that is really by becoming hyper focused on work, whatever I'm excited about. So when I get into my creative mode, I mean I can work on my phone for 20 hours straight without eating and it can be my favorite thing in the world because my brain lights up and it makes me, I don't know what it is, it makes me feel good. When I'm working and I'm creating something like something I shared with you the other night, I feel like oh, I created something special and that's what lights me up and when I'm not doing that

That's what I'm beating myself up So if you love something you can focus on it, but for regular routine everyday things You have to have other people do that for you. Which is classic for people who have ADD. And you told me something, and I read this, that when you were a teenager, somebody put you on dexadrine,

which is a treatment for ADD. And you went from poor grades to great grades and then you stopped it. Yeah. And then the world sort of went to hell. Yeah. Why did you stop it? Great question. So tell the story. Yeah. How did you? Yeah, so I mean in high school you know I was ADD and I was rough and rowdy and you know we would get we got in some trouble as kids I ended up going to juvenile hall for a little bit because of a big fight we got into Very violent fight actually

And I didn't start it. I actually ended up being okay because my aspect was self-defense and I was a minor But when I when I got out of the juvenile hall and it wasn't there a very long time I ended up seeing a doctor and then they prescribed me dexagern. They said I had something called ADHD. And I'm like, oh, whatever that is, give me that. And I remember taking it and then being like, so like everything slowed down. And it was like, I was, I was seeing the world like this and, and my grades went from 2.0 to 3.8. Like I was focused, I could study.

But then the problems I did have is I just wasn't the same so I wasn't as chatty as I used to be. I stopped eating so I lost so much weight. And then on the weekends I wouldn't take my medicines and I'd go out and party with my friends and then I would get really big trouble. I have no idea because I would be like if I didn't take my medicine I would do really bad things. And then when I turned 18, they told me that if I wanted to continue my medicine, I had to go see a doctor. And I said, well, I don't want to go see a doctor.

Then they said, well, we won't give you your medicine. So then I just stopped taking my medicine because I came an adult and I was like, well, I don't want to go see a doctor. I don't need medicine. And then my life went to absolute shit to the point where I was contemplating suicide at 20. And looking back, I realized that my downfall started immediately when I got off that medicine. Yeah.

Yeah. So, half the kids who have ADHD outgrow their hyperactivity by the time they're 13 or 14. And then they go off the medicine because they're no longer hyperactive and their lives fall apart. And I own a supplement company, so I'm like, you know, let's do this naturally, but not for your brain.

It's, I think, we have to treat the ADD and then we have to repair your brain from the birth trauma, from the head traumas, from the toxicity. I think that's really important. One huge question I have is given the struggle and the negative self-talk, how have you been able to do these amazing things, including get my wife to sleep at night because she's not freaked out? I mean, your work was so incredibly helpful to her. Well, thank you.

And I'm so glad I was able to help you. And that's what lights me up. It really is. That's what I'm so glad I was able to help you. And that's what lights me up. It really is. You know, that's what I'm very passionate about, is helping, coaching, teaching. My dad was my biggest mentoring coach growing up. That's one of the reasons why I'm so obsessed with winning, though, so maybe not the best. But look, I really forgot the question.

So how have you been able to be this successful? This successful? Oh, I turn my pain into my fuel. I refuse to be told I cannot do something. Every time someone tells me no, I smile because I know I can do it. And then my favorite thing to do is prove to people that I can do it, that I am capable. And that's really what fueled me. It's been a very painful road, but the reward when I finally accomplish the things I'm trying to accomplish is really great, but I don't get through to the traditional ways. I get through through hard work, trial and error, and thinking outside the box. I pitched getting my house flipping TV show before I ever flipped a house.

Never flipped a house. And then I shot, yeah, and then they said, okay, we'll do a pilot. So I filmed a pilot of one house. And then they said, okay, well, odds of getting a show are slim. And if you get a show, it's going to take years. Two weeks later, I got a contract from HGTV saying we want 13 houses in 10 months. And I didn't even know how to flip houses. I definitely didn't have any money, so.

So where'd you get the idea? I was at a real estate convention. I'll tell you, you want me to tell you the full story. I was at a real estate convention, and this guy's name was Mike Ferry. He's a real estate speaker. Guy's a genius, love this guy. He was so, his words affected me like he was God.

When he spoke, I listened. You know what I mean? I looked up to this guy so much. He told the whole audience, there was 5,000 people, to go out by clothing you can't afford, go by wine you can't afford, and eat at a restaurant you can't afford, and for one night live on the next level. So I'll never forget it. It was after the Great Recession, after I lost everything, and I said, you know what?

I want that feeling again. So we went out I bought a Zemia suit 60% off I'll never forget it. We went to an Italian restaurant got fancy wine was like 100 bucks but the problem is I was really hungover the next day. So I had like three bottles of wine let's be real. So I was sitting in the I was sitting in the very back and I'm like oh I don't feel good. My friend texts me from the very front row. He's like, hey, the managers from Brea are leaving. Do you want to come sit in the front row where normally you have to pay or be a VIP?

And I'm like, okay, sure. So I go to the front row and then I'm watching the speaker. And then all of a sudden my heart starts pounding and I'm feeling dizzy and nauseous and I'm sweating and I'm about to pass out because I'm really hungover, I was in Vegas. So this guy comes running in front of the stage and he hands me Agle and water and it's the guy I've seen on stage the day before talking about how he made $800,000 a year selling houses. So then I talked to him at the break because all these VIPs came up to us because we had

the fancy clothing, we're in the front row, they're like, who are you guys? And I didn't want to say we're nobodies. So I was picking his brand and he told me he had a local TV show in Palm Springs. So I was like, TV? I'm like, what does that do? And he goes, well, people recognize me. I'm like, well, what does that do? Then he goes out and then they work with me.

I said, oh, so you make money off that. So I'm like, oh man, that's smart. And I'm not thinking TV. I've never thought TV in my life. So I left Las Vegas, I think it was the next day I got home, it was 10 o'clock at night and I'm still thinking TV. I never thought TV in my life. So I left Las Vegas. I think it was the next day I got home. It was 10 o'clock at night and I'm still thinking about this conversation. We're living in San Clemente, California. My ex-wife Christina, she has one leg up the stairs.

She looks over, are you coming to bed? And I said, no. She goes, what are you doing? I kind of laughed at me. I said, I'm going to get us a TV show. And then she goes, a TV show about what? And I said, I don't know. One second. I got it. TV show about flipping houses And I said, I don't know, one second.

I got it, TV show about flipping houses. We had just bought our first flip that week. We can call it flip or flop. Flip if we make it, flop if we don't. She laughed at me, said I was crazy, she went to bed. Was it crazy or did it work? It worked, so it actually worked. So you wanna know what I did? I'm a genius, watch this.

I went on this thing called the internet and I Googled Hollywood production companies. And then it turns out websites come up. And then if you look at the websites and you read the websites, you can find buttons and sometimes it says casting. You see? That's how I got a TV show.

And then I got a contract to do 13 in 10 months and I'm like, well, shit, I have no money and I don't have to flip houses. So I called my lawyer, which by the way, he took me on as a client on a payment plan for my retainer, which was very nice because I was broke. And I said, well, if I signed my lawyer, which by the way, he took me on as a client on a payment plan for my retainer, which was very nice because I was broke. And I said, well, if I sign this contract, what could happen? And he goes, well, they can sue you.

So I looked around my apartment. I said, the couch is financed, the table is financed. I said, you know, they could have it. So I signed the thing twice. And what I did is I burned the boats in the very first year to pull it off. I knew I had to try to mostly buy from the auctions and I couldn't buy properties with people living in them because you can't evict people, so every night I would leave from 10pm to 4am.

I would drive all of Southern California looking at all the houses in the middle of the night that were going to auction the next morning to see if anyone lived there. So then I would drive all night until 4 in the morning, get to the auction. My opening bid would be like three or no my max bid on a house is 300,000 right? There's 200, 250, 260, I'm like 300, 310, 320, 350, 400. I'm like wait a minute how are these people paying 400? And then it turns out there's these things called hedge funds because I didn't you know I didn't know what a hedge fund was and these guys had millions of dollars in checks and I'm like well shit I

signed up for this show I got to find houses so every night I drove every day I went to the auction and I'll never forget it two weeks in I bid on a house nobody bid against me and then I start freaking out I got a house this is bad this is a problem and then the number one buyer at the auction he bought 1200 homes a year he would wear this big like fishing cap with holes in his shirt with these stained khaki pants and he used to write all his notes on himself and he had this big fanny pack and I'll never forget what he says, he goes, I can't buy them all and he walked off. And that's when I got my very first flip at the auction. And then that's when I learned you just, if you

show up and you work hard enough, you're going to get lucky. So that's when I learned you just if you show up and you work hard enough you're gonna get lucky so that's what I did I just kept working I worked myself to death but I figured it out and I pulled off the first season and what was interesting during season one of flip or flop they we actually stopped filming halfway through the season because someone at the network wanted to cancel the show because they thought it was too risque for HGTV you know and then they wanted to burn us off the air. So they aired us from 11 p.m. till 12 a.m.

on a Thursday night. We did 13 episodes, so six weeks we would have been burned off the air. So I'll never forget, we're in LA at the premiere. It's 11 o'clock and I'm like falling asleep, right? Something special happened. From the beginning of that hour to the end of the hour, I think we had broken every HGTV record.

The viewership had grown, I think it was like 40%. The next day we woke up, we made the top 100 TV shows of the day. Two weeks later, we went prime time. And then two years later, we were the number one show on cable TV. Yeah. It's crazy. And then going into season two is when I found out I had cancer. So on season two, I filmed through the whole thing actually.

So on season two, it was hard too, because I gained 60 pounds and everybody was sending me messages. I'm fat, I'm ugly and this and that. So it was just, it was a really weird time. And then, you know, I never wanted to be famous. I just, I'm an entrepreneur. So then I wasn't, I didn't know how to adjust

to this new life that just came out of nowhere. Because for me, I met a guy at a convention, had a TV show, I said, okay, that could work. So, you know, so that's what happened. That is wild. Yeah. But I have one question.

You have all this wild success and admittedly, you like, you channel your energy, you don't take no for an answer, you're going to make it happen, you make it happen, and you don't process somehow there's a disconnect between yeah I made that happen and you still don't like yourself. Yeah and I learned that back in 2014. I mean those were really hard years for me because you know the two different cancers and the back surgeries and the opiates and my mind was not right. I was on so many different chemicals like fat burner injections, testosterone injections,

HCG injections. Wow. I mean you name it. I have all these chemicals in my system and I remember just every day and actually I've never told this to my wife. I have a notebook actually Where I used to write down my thoughts And man, it was it's ugly. It's ugly and it was all about Why I hated me and I remember this feeling of I was living in a

7300 square foot house at a Lamborghini in the garage. I had literally, I mean, I grew up in Buena Park, California to immigrants. You know what I mean? I mean, I had everything and I absolutely hated myself and my life. And that's when I knew this isn't normal. So actually before my ex-wife left me, I actually for the first time I'd ever said it in my life, I mentioned to her I think I need some professional help. Like a few weeks before.

Because I, it's hard to explain. I mean it's hard to explain unless you've just been through years of traumatic experiences. But then what the show that really helped me get back on track was the show Intervention. That was a good show. I like that show. Yeah. So what kind of professional help did you get? Well, I didn't get professional help at that time because she

at that point, it was too late she's dealing with I mean I understand she didn't really cry want to be involved with me too much anymore so when you know the last day we were to get together as a family I mean I don't know if you guys know the story but there's you know sheriff's helicopters they had me a gunpoint you guys know about all that fun stuff I read something about about it. Yeah, it was interesting. Well, tell us. Yeah, well, you know, I wasn't doing too good.

Cause you wrote a book about this? Yeah, it's in my book, Flip Your Life. Yeah, so I read- Flip Your Life? Yeah, Flip Your Life. Yeah. I like it. Yeah, we all need a remodel just like a house. And I just wasn't doing well. I had ordered a new mountain bikes and I had just got a California concealed carry.

And I wanted to go scout the trails behind my house. Cause we back to Chino Hill state park. Um, I took a gun with me. I jumped the back fence and I just started hiking and about 30 minutes into my hike, I see this helicopter and it 30 minutes into my hike I see this helicopter and it's circling and there's all this dust and I'm like oh is there a fire something's going on and all of a sudden there's all this screaming and I said who they screaming at and then I realized oh they're screaming at me and

I looked and there's sheriffs and then I'm terrifying and it was like everything slowed down and then I look in a circle around me and then there's just there's dust everywhere and there's 11 sheriff'sled me. I'm at gunpoint and I'm thinking what I didn't know was going because I didn't connect the two and I'm thinking what in the world is happening and then immediately one of the police officers goes Tarek? I said Chad the guy from TV what are you guys doing? And then they put their guns down they walked up they're like hey we got a call about you.

I'm like, call about what? Anyhow, there was some miscommunication. But I ended up having to get, you know, this is traumatic for me because they still had to handcuff me, they had to put me in the car, they had to take me to my house. And like the last ever time I was with my family back then was, I'll never forget this,

my shirt's off and I'm handcuffed sitting on a cooler in our garage as I watch my ex-wife carrying a bag with both kids screaming and crying out down the driveway and that was it. So that was- So that's very traumatic. That was the beginning

of the worst experience of my life. Yeah, that's traumatic. Yeah, it was pretty traumatic. That was the beginning of the worst experience of my life. Yeah, that's traumatic. Yeah, it was pretty traumatic. So then from there, I was hopeful that I didn't think things would actually end. So then I went and started living on my boat. And it turns out if you don't eat and all you do is drink, it's not really good for you. So you know, I had a boys day and I hadn't been eating and I was like in the middle of a conversation with my friend Scott And I passed out on the back of my boat. I just hit the deck because I was losing so much weight I wasn't any oh and I got off testosterone cold turkey. I got off all the injections. I did everything wrong No medical supervision. I was like it was a mess a mess And then when I came to all my friends

are like next I know I have Dr. Drew on the phone and next thing I know I'm talking to Dr. Drew and then I ended up living in a in a in a facility in Laguna Beach California which was very weird for me because at that point I was like the pinnacle of my career and I was making more money than I ever thought possible I was more famous than I ever thought possible and now I'm living in a halfway house and I have a bedtime and I have curfew and daily alcohol and blood alcohol testing and drug testing and I did it to prove to my children and my ex-wife that I was willing to do anything to better

myself but it was just too late at that point for that purpose. So I ended up staying there for a month. It was, man, it was a very tough month. And I had someone with me 24 hours a day, seven days a week with me. And then when I left the facility, I brought that person with me. And honestly, I just, I needed someone there with me. I was that bad. I didn't really feel comfortable being alone so I had someone watching over me a few months and then you know one day it was driving up Newport Boulevard by

your house actually and I was crying as I usually would and I was screaming about how life's not fair and I was hitting my Lamborghini steering wheel my stupid Lamborghini life's not fair I'm hitting hitting my Lamborghini steering wheel, my stupid Lamborghini, life's not fair, and I'm hitting a Lamborghini. Right? Ironic. And then I stopped at this line. And the word fair hit me. And I said, fair? Well, who said life's supposed to be fair? Who said life's supposed to be fair? You know, you do the best you can with what you've got. And then the second I accepted the fact that life is not fair. It was like this The sense of freedom and in that moment I knew that was the beginning of my new life just by acknowledging that one word fair and saying it's not fair

I can't do shit about this. It's time to move on. I Love that. So when Chloe was little that's that's our daughter She would always you know kids always say that It's not fair, it's not fair. And my line to her, because I grew up in a rough situation as well, and I would look at her and say, fair is a place in Pomona with farm animals, bad food and farm animals.

No one ever said life was gonna be fair, it's about what you're gonna do with it. And she had, I didn't realize until years later that she had no idea what Pomona was, so she was like, years later she's like, I had no idea what you were talking. So she was like, years later she's like, I had no idea what you were talking about. You know that, right? That's so cute.

That is so cute. Oh my God, I'm gonna use this. I like this one. We're gonna have to go to the fair, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. But I love that because- Okay, so you got some drug and alcohol treatment.

Yeah, but I didn't actually go for drug and alcohol. I went for mental health. And I didn't know what to do. So oddly enough, I went for mental health. And I didn't know what to do. So, oddly enough, I was a raging alcoholic because I was self-medicating from the age of 18 to 30. And there was periods within there when it was really bad. At my lowest points, I was up to 35, 40 shots a night. And then I would end up drinking six to 10 beers. Yeah, I would sleep until like three o'clock every day

and I was, you know, I was very depressed. And then- That level of alcohol with this brain would make you very depressed. So then the reason I really started drinking is because I was having sleep problems, but then I couldn't sleep unless I drank, so then I have to drink more to sleep.

So it was just this vicious cycle. You were constantly in withdrawal. Yeah, so then I decided to stop drinking, so I went down to like, I started drinking beers, like 10 beers a night. And then what happened was, when I had my thyroid cancer and my testicular cancer after my surgeries, I lost all my craving for alcohol.

Like, and that's the thing I tell people, I got really lucky because I was like truly an alcoholic where I would crave and think about alcohol. And now I can socially drink. I can have, before when I'd have one drink, I couldn't have one drink. If I had one drink, I had 40 drinks. Now I can have one drink, I can have two drinks,

and it doesn't affect me in the same way. So I believe something with my thyroid had something to do with my alcoholism. Interesting. Yeah, because that's what I'm saying. It wasn't like a hard decision to make. I just didn't want it anymore, overnight. Interesting.

How many surgeries have you had? Maybe 10. Yeah, because when I think about your brain, it's like these things stack, right? If it starts with a traumatic birth and then the head injury when you're four and then other head injuries, surgeries, alcohol, other stuff, it's like, oh, so we understand it. And now we have to fix it. One thing I've always been curious about is,

but when you're a kid, you don't know what's normal or not normal, right? So as an adult looking back as a kid, what I experienced, I think it was from, I was like, first grade to fifth grade. I would, every single day at school, I would have the world's worst migraines. And I think because I would exert myself so much, and I remember I would always have a high fever and my head would always just be thumping, like right here on the side, thump, thump, thump, thump.

So for years as a kid, I just lived with this thumping in my brain. It was very, very odd. Were you light sensitive? Oh yeah, I'm very light sensitive. I'm very, I have weird sensory issues, like touch, smell, yeah. And I think that was from the birth trauma

because if we look at your scans, those holes on the top, that is an area of the brain called your parietal lobe, so that's a sensory part of the brain, and it can't sort of turn off the noise. And so the noise, the world comes at you too quickly. And as we reverse that, that should help. There's also something really interesting

called Erlen syndrome, I-R-L-E-N, people who are light sensitive, certain colors of light are irritating to the brain. And when you wear colored filtered lenses, different color for everybody, your focus is better, your irritability is less, your anxiety is less. I mean, that sounds incredible. Thank you for sharing

that. Yes I think it's important when people see someone very successful that they know the real story behind it because it it gives people hope. Yeah and and that's and that's the truth and people say what am I what am I what am I trying to share today it's the message of message of hope. I used to be a 240 pound chain smoking alcoholic and I rebuilt myself multiple times. Am I perfect today? No. Am I light years better than I was? Yes.

Do I feel healthier today at 43 than at 23? Yes. Do I move better? Yes. I made a lot of improvements in my life, but I'm not done. Let's say about 5%. We should never be done. 5% of the way there.

How much? 40%? 5% we're there. 5%. We've got a long way to go. Let's talk about your testing. So I know you're competitive with Heather. Oh man

I was staring at that screen waiting for that X because I didn't want her to beat me I was thinking about anything but beating my wife Although your scan was on Vyvanse because you take Vyvanse you take how much? Ten milligrams. I well I recently got down to ten from 40 and who's been managing your medication? So my general doctor has been helping me with the Vyvanse and I kind of just tested on my own and I got up to 40 milligrams which I felt pretty good actually. Strangely I was less jumpy, I was having major sleeping problems.

So then we recently reduced me down to 10, where now I don't even feel like I have Vyvancin in me, so I don't even know if I should be taking it. That's kind of where I'm at right now. Okay. So you don't have a psychiatrist that's managing your medicine. Who told you you had bipolar disorder?

A doctor at Kaiser in 2009. Okay, was it a psychiatrist, hopefully? Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, I used to sit in the room with the couch, yes, yes, that's a psychiatrist, right? Sit in the room with the couch. That's a psychiatrist, yeah? Maybe, maybe not. And they gave me medicines, yeah, yeah.

So I took Seroquel and Lymictol for for many years And then I I took myself off of those medicines and the only difference I felt was I was no longer groggy in the morning But I had a harder time sleeping But then the circle, you know, sometimes I would hallucinate and see weird things and some weird stuff Yeah, I have better stuff I weird stuff. I have better stuff. I'm ready. I have better stuff. Okay, looking at the testing,

not depressed, but I'm not convinced about that. Under a lot of stress. That's really high. And your long-term memory's okay. Your short-term memory's not good. Focus not awesome. And that's on 10 milligrams of Vyvanse. So 10 milligrams may not be enough. 40 may be too much.

I want you to feel it, but I don't want it to have side effects. So you often, I think of it like glasses. You know, it's like they try different lenses. It's like no, no, better, better, better, awesome. Not so good, not so good, right? So I think with stimulants, we have to to try different doses

because I scanned you on it and your brain is still super sleepy. The one medicine in my entire life that really did something I felt with ADHD was the dexedrine because I remember I felt different where on Adderall or Vyvanse, I didn't really feel different, if that makes sense. I mean, dexedrine's clearly a choice for us, and if you did really well, might be worth us trying that to see. Now, when we get your whole brain healthy,

those, the medication will actually work better, and you may be significantly less of it. And in my mind, the goal though, and many people don't understand this, the goal is not less medicine, the goal is the right amount, right? I mean, you never go to an eye doctor, give me a thin lens, right?

You're just like, that's insane. Don't you want the lens that works for you? I think of that. So long-term memory, okay. Focus, not great. Planning, not great. The one negativity bias is you scored 21. I want in six months for you to score 80.

What's negativity bias? Negativity bias is 10 things happen to you. You focus on the ones that went wrong rather than the ones that went right. Oh yeah. Right, your brain just sort of naturally goes to, and then focus on it. And part of the training is focus on what you love

way more than what you hate. Not enough, is that true? Like I would actually love that journal you wrote of all the hateful thoughts. Because I, yeah, so I want it. Because I'm gonna teach you how to kill them. So I call them ants, automatic negative thoughts, the thoughts that just come into your mind automatically

and ruin your day. So we need an anteater to go in and clean things up, but then also train your brain to look for what's right. And as you do that, you'll notice the kids actually become less stressed and happier. Because ultimately, every day we model health or we model trouble. Yeah, yeah. And given that you're purposeful, I think it's gonna help you so much. So for example, let's do an exercise. What's the thought that bothers you the most?

If you had to pick like a bad thought. Wow. If you had to pick like a bad thought Hmm And there's a lot of them I I think you're. Well, we can pick I hate myself. Yeah, a lot of times I'm upset with myself. I hate myself and I'm frustrated with myself because I want things to be faster and easier and they're not and I'm not a quitter, so I will put myself through hell to get it.

So then I get the thing. Okay, so if we just take for an example. Yeah. So I want you to memorize these five questions. So, and that's why we got to do this like a hundred times, right? I mean the first house you flipped, you're way more efficient now. Oh yeah. Right? Yeah. you flipped, you're way more efficient now. Right? You gotta practice.

It's like I have an NBA player who I love. He didn't like just all of a sudden shoot 40% from three. Right, he had to like shoot thousands of them. Right, you gotta practice this. So I hate myself. The first question, is that true? So whenever you get a thought in your head, whenever you feel sad or mad or nervous or out of control, write down what you're thinking.

And then that's the first question. Is it true? You hate yourself. Is it true? Are you asking me the question? That's the first question. Is it true you hate yourself? Is it true? You asking me the question? Yeah. Is it true? Yes and no.

At times I don't, and at times I do. Okay, so second question. So that's question number one. Second question, is it absolutely true with 100% certainty you hate yourself? Absolutely true. With 100% certainty, you hate yourself. Based on some of my thoughts to myself and my actions, I would say yeah.

That's 100% true, you always hate yourself? Oh, I will always? That you always hate yourself. No, no, I don't always hate myself. Sometimes I do like myself. Okay. Question number three. How does that thought make you feel? I hate myself.

Not good. Yeah? Say more. It's just... I wouldn't talk to other people the way I talk to myself. Like, I don't know how else to explain it the way I talk to myself. I don't know how else to explain it. If anybody talked to your children?

Oh, they would be in big trouble. And that's why I try to be so kind to people, because, you know, I know how tough life can be. How do you treat yourself when you have that thought? Work. work. I've improved myself. I'm worthy. Yeah. Any bad habits? Oh yeah.

You know, I don't sleep enough. If people don't send me food, I don't eat. I've been drinking less lately per my lovely wife's If people don't send me food, I don't eat. I've been drinking less lately per my lovely wife's request.

And it's been easy to do because I honestly don't crave it. But when you have the thought, I hate myself, do you do anything negative to self-inflicted? No, it's just the loop that. Just the loop. It doesn't go away, it's not like a one-time thought, it's ruminating. So how would you feel? Being around someone you don't like,

you know that being around someone, you think about being around someone you don't like, you know that feeling? That's how I feel sometimes with myself. How would you feel if you didn't have the thought? If you couldn't have the thought? If you couldn't have the thought? Oh, that'd be great. It's Superman.

So it's actually the thought that's not always true that drives your mood down. Yeah. So, is it true? Is it absolutely true? How does the thought make me feel? How would I feel if I didn't have the thought? And five is my favorite.

You take the original thought, I hate myself, and you turn it to the opposite, I don't hate myself, and you just go, is that true? No, I don't hate myself. Do you have three examples of when you haven't hated yourself? No, yeah.'t hate myself. Do you have three examples of when you haven't hated yourself? No, yeah. Yeah, easy. I find that I'm not hating myself when I'm able to provide and serve others like my wife or my family or my kids

or take people on trips or buy them gifts or surprise them or make them feel special. That's what really lights me up. And then if I'm not able to do those things, that really brings me down and I feel like I'm failing my family, I'm failing my wife, I'm failing my kids. So I carry, you know, I don't know what it is about me. I really, I like physically feel emotions. And that's one thing I've struggled with, is actually physically feeling emotions. But you have times that you don't hate yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So the meditation. That's not all the time. It's not all the time, yeah. But the meditation then becomes, I don't hate myself, or I love myself. And then give yourself examples. You have had that thought so much in your life that it's actually created its own highway in your brain.

So if something disappointing happens, it's because of you. You're bad. I hate you. And we have to sort of blow up that highway. You got Heather. Yes, I do. And we have to sort of blow up that highway. Yeah. You got Heather. Yes, I do.

Hi, honey. We're working on it. You can't be that bad. Yeah. No. No, I'm just bad at myself. I know. I'm joking.

But literally, it takes 100 of these to then just question what you're feeding yourself, right? The more you feed negativity, if you talk to the children like you talk to yourself, they wouldn't feel great about them. So here's the plan. I want you to stop any substances that are not repairing your brain. Because if you're in rehab, you can't poison yourself in rehab. That doesn't. And our, the boy Chloe's dating,

we actually are very fond of. And I told him this story. Every day, your temporal lobes, and yours are hurt, but every day they make 700 new stem cells. There's an area right here called the hippocampus, and the hippocampus is Greek for seahorse because when you put it under a microscope it looks like a seahorse. And every day, you make 700 new baby seahorses. And they're involved in mood and memory

and spatial awareness. And if you're good to them, they grow and they become part of your temporal lobes. If you're bad to them, they grow and they become part of your temporal lobes. If you're bad to them, you murder them. And so I'm telling... They killed a lot of seahorses. Is that what you're telling me? Yeah, you're a mass murderer.

Isn't your wife full animal lover? Yeah, don't worry. We're going to bring seahorses back. So I just want you still, because you are still, compared to me, very young, you want to repair these guys, which means you can't kill the babies because your brain continues to make new stem cells, not if you drink alcohol. Alcohol kills them. Not if you're not sleeping. Insomnia kills them. And so I just want you to think,

brain health is three things, brain envy, gotta care about it. Avoid anything that hurts it. You just gotta know the list. And then do things that help it. Hyperbaric oxygen grows the babies, right? Good food grows the babies. Exercise grows the babies, right? Good food grows the babies. Exercise grows the babies.

Hating yourself murders them. Talking to yourself in a loving way like you would talk to energy. One of your kids, right? It grows them, it nurtures them. And so that's the first thing. The second thing is really I want you to come

and do 60 sessions of hyperbaric oxygen. And then we're gonna scan you again, because I believe if you just did those two things, stopped anything that hurt your brain, do the hyperbaric, make a massive difference. And then happy sephron to help manage your mood. Brain and body power max, it's my NFL repair formula and your brain sort of looks like my NFL brands.

And then we'll see. Now this has been eye opening and very exciting for me. I'm excited for change,. I'm excited for change. I'm always excited for change. I always embrace change. And I've made a lot of changes to this point and I'm excited to continue. I really am.

I really have a high hope for the future. Well, and if we do this and I have a lot of experience with it, and the people who actually like stick with it for six months and they just go, I'm going to do what Dr. Raymond says, they get better. And the people who sort of do it for a week and then stop it, they don't. Yeah, that's like everything else. It's kind of like the gym, right? Your brain reminds me of

Troy Gloss, who's the 2002 World Series MVP. He had four major concussions and was drinking way too much and grew up in trauma. He's just doing spectacular. But he had the, he did what I asked him to do. And it was two months later I re-scanned him because I knew he was better. Because I'm just like, I could sense that. So it can happen quickly. Well today's day one. I could sense that. So it can happen quickly.

Well today's day one. Today's day one? Yeah. Let's keep it going. Questions? What questions do you have? Questions. How fast can I do these 60 sessions?

Well you know, the ADD you know, can I do five sessions in? Well, you know, I have... In ADD, you know, can I do five sessions in a day and just knock it all out? I have it. And just move into the chamber, 24-hour shifts? I have NHL players who want to get back on the ice after a concussion. They do two a day.

Oh, wow. Okay. So... Okay. We can do them as fast as you want to do them. All right, ready to start. I'm very excited to start actually. I was studying it all night last night. So what do you think? I'm excited. I mean we've seen, we've seen... I don't want to say worse, but we've seen some pretty significant... We've totally seen worse.

Yeah, like bad. At least I've seen worse. Yeah, like bad. At least I've seen worse. Who have had crazy transformations where their lives are just so, so different and so purposeful and so happy. And so, you know, I mean, think about some of the people we see and you know what those people are doing to their brains. Yeah.

So. Tarek, thank you so much for doing this with us. I want us to do it again in six months. If you do the things I ask you to do, I know this will be helpful for you. Well, you know where I live, so. You know. We're gonna stalk you.

I think we're gonna have to do this. I can't thank you enough. And you guys are the sweetest. You guys are very special to me. All right. Thank you so much for watching. Send us a review. Subscribe.

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