Change Your Brain Every Day - The Best Way to Clarify Your Goals for 2021

Episode Date: January 19, 2021

The beginning of a new year is typically a period of looking forward and setting goals for what you want to achieve within the next 12 months. Unfortunately, many people don’t get very far in this exercise because they don’t know where to start. In this episode of The Brain Warrior’s Way Podcast, Dr. Daniel and Tana Amen give you a powerful tool to help you define exactly what your goals are and how to set your life up in a way that makes those goals attainable.

Welcome to the Brain Warriors Way podcast. I'm Dr. Daniel Amen. And I'm Tana Amen. In our podcast, we provide you with the tools you need to become a warrior for the health of your brain and body. The Brain Warriors Way podcast is brought to you by Amen Clinics, where we have been transforming lives for 30 years using tools like brain spec imaging to personalize treatment to your brain. For more information, visit amenclinics.com.

The Brain Warriors Way podcast is also brought to you by BrainMD, where we produce the highest quality nutraceuticals to support the health of your brain and body. To learn more, go to BrainMd.com. Hey, how's it going? Good. How are you? You know, it's a new year and I have happiness in my life. Me too. But that's been true for our marriage, which is just amazing. That even if it doesn't work out the first time, it may not be a predictor of trouble. Right? I mean, you wonder, is it you?

Or is it fit? It's fit. Sometimes it is you. I don't think we should tell people it's not you. Sometimes it is. I think being introspective is really important because sometimes it's important to do the work on yourself and figure out if you go into a relationship with trauma and you go into a relationship with, um, you know, emotional hurts, hurt people, hurt people, right? If you don't take the time to fix that, like even when I met you, I didn't trust that you were really a good guy because my, my lens of the world, the lens that I saw the world through was that of men who were not trustworthy. So how am I going to have a healthy relationship? So sometimes it is you. And it's important to know that.

If you have an addiction problem or you are abusive, you need to get help. Because it's not accurate to say that it's not you. Well, it wasn't me. No, but I did. I mean, I'm happy. I'm proud to say that I was introspective enough to know that I had... Thinking about what you can do better.

Right. That's just taking responsibility. Right. Puts you in control. Before we get to the one-page miracle, we have another review and a winner. I'm so excited. Meg Bo, M-E-G-B-O-H 8913. And it's titled, It's a Family Affair. I heard about you through a friend who watched a social media creator and her husband gets scans at your clinics. So that's Laura Cleary and Stephen Hilton. And the husband sounded like me

with the low grade depression. Since then, I've been obsessed with this podcast. I'm also a psych nurse, so the brain intrigues me anyways. It might also be the over-focused ADD I didn't realize I might have, LOL. Between the podcast and the Healing ADD book, I understand my father, my nephew, my husband, myself so much better. It's bittersweet because maybe if I had known now what I knew years ago, perhaps me and my nephew could have had a better relationship, but I can do better for me and my husband from here on out. I'm already applying little things like the ant killer that's benefiting our relationship. Thank you very much for thinking outside the box with mental health. It is very much needed. Hopefully we can get to your clinic one day. So Meg bow, eight, nine, three. Thank you so much. Go to brain warriors way podcast.com. Leave us a message, uh, with your address and we'll send you a copy of either Tana's new book,

um, or the end of mental illness. And pretty soon I'm going to start telling you about my upcoming book called Your Brain Is Always Listening. So, all right, reset. One of the most important exercises I've ever done, and it's so stinking simple, but you should do it. And January is just a perfect time to redo it. I mean, I actually redo mine several times a year, but it's an exercise called the one page miracle. And what you're doing is you're telling your brain what you want and you're telling it in a balanced, thoughtful way. And it's called the one page miracle because I don't want you to write a book. I want you to be succinct in what you want for your relationships, not what you don't write, write what you want

with your spouse or your partner, with your children, with your family, with your friends, what do you want? So for each of those, write down what you want. So with us, and I always want the same thing, kind, caring, loving, supportive, passionate relationship. Always want that. Don't always feel like that.

Get these rude thoughts that come into my head. And if I've slept and I'm not drinking, I don't let them out. You should not say everything you think. I have patients who think they should, they get this like really crazy thought. We know what's in your head. It's very weird.

It's very, it's funny, but it's weird. Because every now and then it gets out and the kids all look at you like, what? You should not. You should filter. Filter your mind. But I think that really helps our relationship. It does.

Because we're clear on the goal. And, and, you know, we're, I don't want to go off topic, but we're also, because we both do it, we're also very, it's really good for couples to do this because knowing what each other's, you know, ideal relationship is, what you want in your relationship is really important because we respect each other's boundaries. So we don't always do things the same way. I mean, we're actually pretty opposite. We're very, very different. He's yin, I'm yang. He's water, I'm fire. I mean, we're very different. But because we have so much love and respect for each other and we understand what those goals are, we give each other that space,

you know, and we just, we care. Well, and one of my goals for you is for you to have an optimal life right so what is it i can do that supports your off and you do that because when you're happy i'm so much happier when you're not happy i'm not that happy and you do that every day and so when the pandemic started and you got really anxious and i'm like, oh, we should get a freezer. Yeah. I mean, you didn't let me turn the pool into a bunker like I wanted to, but at least the freezer was, you know, that was a really great. As soon as you said that, I sort of relaxed. And I knew when you said, when this settles down, we'll go look at property.

I wanted to buy a big piece of property. And I knew you were just telling me that to make me settle down but it's it's still it made me feel better so you do those things so the first part is what do you want in your relationships like with your kids um do you want them you know become a robot and just mind you because you said that? They'll be scared of you. Or do you want to raise respectful, responsible, competent people? And if you do, then they want to look into our programs with Jim and Charles Fay on Love and Logic.

So important. But for me, I really want to be present for them because I grew up with a good dad that wasn't present. But I also want to be a positive force in their life. But I cannot, we cannot raise competent children if we do everything for them. No, I actually looked at my daughter the other day and I'm like, she won't even let me do stuff for her, which is so annoying to me. I sometimes want to do stuff for her. But then I realized I did that. You created it.

I created that. When I stopped doing homework with her or for her like pushing her to do her homework in second grade I started that ball rolling she's so independent it's like it's annoying sometimes like because I sort of want her to like be connected to me more and you know be more dependent on me but she's not and so which is ultimately what you want sort of it's bittersweet I'm having empty nest syndrome so now I have to redo my one page miracle to figure out what that's Which is ultimately what you want. Sort of. It's bittersweet. I'm having empty nest syndrome. So now I have to redo my one-page miracle to figure out what that's going to look like.

Well, but that's part of it. So we talked about relationships. And we're going to talk about work and money and your physical, emotional, and spiritual health. These are all part of the one-page miracle. What'd you learn? Did you learn anything? We'd love it if you write it down, take a picture of it, post it on any of your social media sites, hashtag Brain Warriors Way podcast. I think we're getting close to 900 episodes, 11 million downloads. We're so grateful for all of you who listen.

Reset. Now's the time. Stay with us. If you're enjoying the Brain Warriors Way podcast, please don't forget to subscribe so you'll always know when there's a new episode. And while you're at it, feel free to give us a review or five-star rating as that helps others find the podcast. If you're interested in coming to Amen Clinics,

use the code PODCAST10 to get a 10% discount on a full evaluation at amenclinics.com. For more information, give us a call at 855-978-1363.