Change Your Brain Every Day - The Top 6 Tips For Coping With Stress During a Pandemic

Episode Date: June 9, 2021

Dr Daniel and Tana Amen talk about methods to help domestic partnerships endure a trying time such as a disaster or pandemic.

Welcome to the Brain Warriors Way podcast. I'm Dr. Daniel Amen. And I'm Tana Amen. In our podcast, we provide you with the tools you need to become a warrior for the health of your brain and body. The Brain Warriors Way podcast is brought to you by Amen Clinics, where we have been transforming lives for 30 years using tools like brain spec imaging to personalize treatment to your brain. For more information, visit amenclinics.com.

The Brain Warriors Way podcast is also brought to you by BrainMD, where we produce the highest quality nutraceuticals to support the health of your brain and body. To learn more, go to brainmd.com. So an anxiety mismatch during a pandemic can increase tension, fear, worries, frustration, irritability, relationship problems. Now, what it does is cortisol. So you're stressed. And I think of cholesterol is the mother hormones really important not to be too high, but you also don't want it to be too low. But when you're stressed, you use your hormone precursors, go to cortisol and adrenaline, and just completely messes with estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone. So you're so stressed, you don't want to be touched. Your sex life can not be good. And that's part of what can cause relationship problems.

Well, and if you're not sleeping, it affects your sleep. And if you're not sleeping, then your hormones are further disrupted and you become suspicious of your home. Right. So at Amen Clinics, we've had so many patients asking for help on how to deal with family members. In fact, we keep going to write a blog on the number one thing you should ask yourself before you ask someone to marry you or before you say yes. And the number one thing you should ask yourself is can I live with this person in a pandemic?

Can I be with them 24 7 because golf is gone going to the casinos gone going bars gone go to laker day gone and I have the answer absolutely because you're my best friend. I freaked out, like I said, when I thought the last sheet was full. So, we were talking about our own mismatched anxiety. You're always prepared. Yeah.

Oh, so hold on. Now, though, he actually appreciates it. This is one good thing that came out of it. He used to be annoyed by how much time and energy I spent preparing because I like to prepare for disasters. I'm one of the local volunteers in my community for disaster preparation. And if there's a disaster, we show up, you know, that kind of a thing. So I'm one of my local volunteers in my, in my city.

And so he used to kind of give me a hard time about how much time and energy I spent on it. And now all of a sudden he's like, I really appreciate that about you. I'm never going to give you a hard time again. So some good things can come out of these things. I know it's going to cost me money. All right. Six things you can do to cope with mismatched anxiety. Number one, avoid the four horsemen of the apocalypse. You want to ruin a relationship? This is research from John Gottman. He talks about the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

Contempt. Talk down to your partner. That is actually one of the predictors of divorce. Criticize. Don't look at you. Just look at them and complain. Defensiveness. No matter what it is they say, it's like you wear Teflon and just you don't hear it. It bounces back. Or the automatic no is another one. Or two, share the reasons behind your anxiety. Talk it through. And for the person who's less anxious, you want to be a good listener. So I pride myself

on being a good listener. And I'm a good listener when I've slept, when I've ate in a healthy way, when I don't believe every stupid thing, I think. Well, and we all have times where we don't think something is important that our other partner might think is more important. But one thing you're good at is even if like, there's times where you don't think what I'm stressed out about is important and you don't understand why I'm stressed out but if i stop you and go i need you to listen this is important to me you will even if you don't feel like it is you will stop and go okay i hear you so i might have to say that to you but you will do it looking at buying a mountain yes yes somewhere completely isolated Completely isolated. So it might be in like an article. Okay. Three, don't be too controlling,

making ultimatums and attempting to keep others in lockdown can backfire. Teens tend to rebel when parents are overly controlling. And, you know, I think initially our teenager just freaked out really but when you took time to really listen and help her understand why she reacted it actually brought you back to a time in your 20s when you were diagnosed with cancer and you just like couldn't believe it right and so she couldn't believe it you keep saying no no no this isn't happening um create clear goals i just did this with one of my couples on the phone today i love doing it all businesses have business plans they have mission statements You need a plan for your relationship.

And ours, and it's basically been the same since the beginning. What do we want? A kind, caring, loving, supportive, passionate relationship. Always want that. Don't always feel like that. Get all sorts of rude thoughts in my head. Like I'm leaving and going to a mountain cabin by myself. When we get settled and we go, well, if I say this, does it fit the goal? If I do this, does it fit the goal? And I never want you to feel like I don't love you or I don't trust you or I don't care

about you and so not believing Jerry Seinfeld once said the brain is the sneaky organ we all have weird crazy stupid sexual violent thoughts that no one should ever hear. And so before you let that thought get out of your mouth, ask yourself, does it fit? Will it get me what I want in my relationship? But first you have to know what you want. So clear goals, um, help low, lower high anxiety. Um, One of my favorite supplements is happy saffron. There's three of us in this house are taking happy saffron just to, you know, during a stressful time helps to boost your mood, lower anxiety. We also at BrainMD make something called GABA calming that helps just to take the edge off. Alcohol is not the thing. It felt like a drug deal the other day. Chloe was really, really anxious

about something. Do you remember that? She was like crying and anxious and she's like, she comes and she's like, I need to go for a drive. I need to talk to you about something. It was the weirdest conversation, but it really helps her settle down. So diaphragmatic breathing, killing the ants, anti-anxiety foods. We're having salmon tonight in a little bit. I'm pretty excited about that. And the last thing is encourage healthy anxiety. The don't worry, be happy people, they die the earliest.

And I feel good for a long time. From accidents or preventable illnesses. You want to have enough anxiety, especially during a global pandemic. So wash your hands, wear a mask, be thoughtful, be careful. Please don't cough on anybody. Let's be thinking in a smart, useful way. So we hope this is helpful. If you have mismatched anxiety and you feel like you're out of control, call us. Go to amenclinics.com. We'd be happy to help. We see people who had calls from 155 countries. Someone from Nova Scotia on my chat today.

It was so fun with Dr. Criato from Chicago. I bet that was. He's awesome. He's our sleep doctor. So if you're having trouble sleeping, he's amazing. And so how can people follow you on social media? So I'm on instagram right now i'm known alive obviously tana amen um and i'm also on facebook tana in nbsn rn

and i have free recipes on my website so tana amen.com you can get free recipes you can get blogs all sorts of free fun and we just went over eight and a half million. Oh, podcast. Yes. On our podcast, Brain Warriors Way. So if you like this, brainwarriorswaypodcast.com, you can listen to about 700 podcasts. And we love answering questions. So please send us your questions, your comments, your concerns, what's going on in your life. We'd love to hear that.

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