Change Your Brain Every Day - Tips for Getting Over Fear of Rejection, with Lisa Sasevich

Episode Date: April 9, 2020

Hockey legend Wayne Gretzky is often quoted for having said “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” Clearly this is true outside the hockey rink as well. Unfortunately, all too often fear is what keeps us from taking our shots in life. So how can you get past that fear? In the fourth and final episode with “Meant for More” author Lisa Sasevich, she and the Amens discuss how you can shift your inner paradigm to think past the fear and start taking those shots.

Welcome to the Brain Warriors Way podcast. I'm Dr. Daniel Amen. And I'm Tana Amen. In our podcast, we provide you with the tools you need to become a warrior for the health of your brain and body. The Brain Warriors Way podcast is brought to you by Amen Clinics, where we have been transforming lives for 30 years using tools like brain spec imaging to personalize treatment to your brain. For more information, visit amenclinics.com. The Brain Warriors Way podcast is also brought to you by BrainMD, where we produce the highest quality nutraceuticals to support the health of your brain and body. To learn more, go to brainmd.com. Welcome back. We are here with our friend Lisa Sasevich, who is a bestselling author, Tana's mentor. We're talking about purpose and meant For More, really how to actualize your purpose

in a way that helps the most people. Her book is out April 14th, Men For More by Hay House. You can take her free online course at menformoregift.com. So one of the things, Lisa, before I throw this over to you, because you're just so full of knowledge, I want people to hear that. When I came to you, I could not figure out why I'm like, I can, I can get up on stage and speak no problem. And I can do a really good job and I can get a standing ovation. No problem. What I couldn't figure out why I could not get the conversion. I couldn't sell stuff on stage, which made no sense to me. I'm like,

why am I not able to sell stuff? And I always felt a little awkward about it. And then when I came to you, you helped me figure out why it's because I'm not money motivated. I'm a nurse. I'm not money motivated. It doesn't matter to me. Like the money wasn't converting in my head. Like when I'm speaking, I'm not driven to make money. But when I figured out that what I'm driven to do is make a difference, it made all the difference in the world. Like when I connected it to me making a difference

in people's lives rather than me making like that money at the end of it. Like, so I think people need to know what's important to them. And it's okay if making money is your thing. You just need to know it. And you helped me figure out how to switch that in my head because that was a block for me.

Does that make sense? And that was like so important for me to be successful. So I just wanted to throw that in. Because if you don't know that, you'll always stumble. You'll always not be able to figure it out. Listen, when I created the meant for more formula, chapter one, you know, or step one in the five steps is making peace with sales. Yeah. And so it speaks directly to what you are sharing from your heart right now. So many people that want

to make a difference, go out there to do so. You're a great example, Tana. You have a huge difference that you make for people. And then we go, oh no, I have to sell. Like I didn't get in this to be a salesperson. I did this to make a difference. And so, like you said, when you came at it that I've got to learn to sell from stage, that's not congruent with who you are. But when you realize that in order to make the difference I want to make, I need to be able to speak in a way that gives people what they need to be able to say yes. Right. And I think one of the biggest transformations that we can have when we are out there wanting to make an offer to help people is to realize that when somebody says yes or no,

whether it's a personal invitation or what we call an irresistible offer to work with you, right? It works on either whether you're making money with it or not. When you make an invitation or what we call an irresistible offer, whether somebody says yes or no, it's actually not personal. It feels like it is because you're the one making an offer. So it's very easy to feel like they're accepting or rejecting you. And that's why a lot of people never do make their offer. But if you could separate those things that when you make an offer, you're offering your unique value to the world, you're being purposeful, right? It's part of your plan to make a difference and live longer and be abundant. And on the other side is a person who is inside themselves saying yes or no to their own

transformation. They're actually not saying yes or no to you. They're saying yes or no to themselves. When you decided you wanted to work with me, Tana, and you know, and become my client, you are saying yes to your mission. You're saying yes, that you really, really want to help more people. You know, and I thought you could help me get there. It looks like you're saying yes to me, right? We had a transaction, like, right, there was money exchanged and time scheduled. But really, who you said yes to is yourself. And that's the biggest way, one of the biggest mindset shifts that we can use to make peace with sales. The idea of making our offer is that it is purposeful. It is a generous thing to do. Otherwise, you're kind of out there talking about a possibility rowing people out into the lake of

possibility so they can see something new for themselves if you don't make your invitation it's kind of like leaving them there with no oars how do they get started how do they lose the weight how do they help their child you know get that special plan at school what's the steps there's got to be something to sign up for. So that was actually an answer to my earlier question is why do sales make people anxious? Because it's the fear of rejection, which is a basic biological fear. Because if you're rejected by the group, so when I decided to do something different than my colleagues and I initially got all the blowback and the criticism, it was very painful. Because being part of the group from an evolutionary perspective, you live longer. And when the group rejects you, your family rejects you or your colleagues, your friend

group rejects you, you're more vulnerable to get eaten by something else. And so rejection is such an innate fear that people have. They don't want to step into that but truly successful people they're able to risk rejection what you just said to do something else but you have to reframe it in your head so it's not rejection and ultimately for me it's like i found another group that that i love more and so it's basically you just have to find who your people are and people who don't take your offer. Well, they're at least at the moment, not part of your group. And I love what you said. They're not rejecting you. They're reject, they're saying no to themselves. That's a, that's a huge reframe. That's just huge. It is. In fact, it's not personal. You both came up with

the word reframe because our, you know, the, the first chapter, the first part of living your meant for more journey literally is called reframe the game and make peace with sales. So you're right. It is a huge reframe and, and really any transformation that any of us want to have. This is what I've seen from over 30 years of my own personal development is that all transformation is preceded by a decision. Look at any transformation you've had in your life, even if it was the school of hard knocks, if you had a transformation from it, at some point you made a decision to. So for folks who want to, you know, make a difference and make money doing what they love, there's a decision. And the decision that's being offered right now is you could decide to reframe the game and make peace with sales.

And so people can learn more about your work. They can go to meantformoregift.com. They can pick up the book, which will be available April 14th. And if they pre-order it, that would be awesome. Because, you know, one of the things I've just found is that if you have information that's helpful for you, give it to someone you care about. Because it's actually in the act of giving that you get to keep it because you'll have somebody to share the work,

someone to share those principles with. Which is why I'm still friends with the people from my mastermind group because no one else understands what you're saying. So it's like... You know, as you grow and you step into your unique value, a few things will happen. Yeah. It's going to be the people in your life that don't want you to change.

Right. And sometimes it's going to be some of the ones that are closest to you and that can be hard, but you're also going to find out who your champions are. Right. You know, the people that really, really believe you were meant for more. And, you know, if you are out there championing someone, feel free to share meant for more gift.com. You know, there are adult, you know, we all have children that are adults now there and that are, they're somewhat directionless in the world and them being able to look at an

early age and find their unique values. What a gift. Yeah, no, it's great. You are a gift. This would actually be a great gift for Michael. Yeah. It would be, you know, I'm just thinking of people we could, because I mean, you just have to send the URL to people, you know, just send menformoregift.com. All right, my friend, we have to stop.

What a joy to see you again and hear your voice and be part of our Brain Warriors Way community. I'm so honored to be here today and excited for all of us to keep living our Men For More journeys and staying in touch and letting it all unfold as we make our differences. Absolutely. If you're enjoying the Brain Warriors Way podcast, for more journeys and staying in touch and letting it all unfold as we make our differences. Absolutely. If you're enjoying the Brain Warriors Way podcast, please don't forget to subscribe. So you'll always know when there's a new episode and while you're at it, feel free to give us a review

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