Change Your Brain Every Day - What Makes a Person Feel Inferior or Flawed?

Episode Date: February 11, 2021

In this episode of The Brain Warrior’s Way Podcast, Dr. Daniel Amen and Tana Amen continue their discussion on the dragons from the past featured in Daniel’s brand-new book, “Your Brain is Always Listening.” The dragon discussed in this episode, the Inferior and Flawed Dragon, can be especially dangerous, as it is the dragon that tends to drive depression and suicide. Daniel and Tana give you the common triggers for this dragon, as well as the tools you need to tame it so you can live a happier, fuller life.  For more info on Dr. Daniel Amen's new book, "Your Brain is Always Listening", visit https://yourbrainisalwayslistening.com/  

Welcome to the Brain Warriors Way podcast. I'm Dr. Daniel Amen. And I'm Tana Amen. In our podcast, we provide you with the tools you need to become a warrior for the health of your brain and body. The Brain Warriors Way podcast is brought to you by Amen Clinics, where we have been transforming lives for 30 years using tools like brain spec imaging to personalize treatment to your brain. For more information, visit amenclinics.com.

The Brain Warriors Way podcast is also brought to you by BrainMD, where we produce the highest quality nutraceuticals to support the health of your brain and body. To learn more, go to brainmd.com. Welcome back. We are still talking about your brain is always listening, having so much fun with the dragons. We just talked about the abandoned, invisible, and insignificant dragon and what to do about it. And I am looking so forward to this next one, which is the inferior and flawed dragon. But before we move on, you've got a review. I do. And people can pre-order the book at yourbrainisalwayslistening.com

and order some great, get some free pre-order gifts that are awesome. Hypnosis audios, a free bottle of happy saffron and an event with me March 17th, only for those who pre-ordered the book where I'm going to answer questions and interact with them. Brain Lover Be Aware by Anne Maroy from Canada. She writes, for anyone who loves their brain and being 100% energized on a daily basis, just listen to it. Oh, I like that. I love that. Simple and clear.

So today we're going to talk about dragon number two, the inferior or flawed dragons. And this dragon bites so many people. And social media has elevated it to a level that is just so damaging. The origins are, if you felt inadequate, I grew up feeling inadequate. I was smaller than everybody else. I was beaten up by my brother repeatedly like all the home movies are him pounding on me and i'm like 50 and my dad's giving us all home movies i'm like dad why did you let him beat me up um and why would you take movies of it? And he said, well, somebody had to take movies. And it was a total stupid answer. But I felt inadequate.

And its origin is feeling damaged. You felt less than other people, either in your ability, your looks, your money, or your relationship. This seems to me like this dragon could really affect a lot of people because it could tell me if I'm wrong. But I think most women have this dragon. I think most women have this dragon. Yeah. Especially as we age.

Don't like how they look. Exactly. But also, you know, when things happen like sexual trauma, that really affects how you see yourself. You feel damaged. So, I mean, lots of different things can affect this besides... Well, we're going to talk about the wounded dragon coming up. But dragons tend to go in a herd right right they have babies right and uh but this is the dragon that causes so many people to kill themselves because you don't feel like you're pretty enough, smart enough, rich enough,

and you could always compare yourself. It was funny. When I was little, my dad took me to the grocery store one day because he had a special guest show up. It was to market and drive traffic. His name was Henry Height. He was eight feet, 10 inches tall. He was a giant. He had gigantism. And I was just standing looking at him. It was just amazing. But even if you're 5'10", you're like, well, I'm not 6'4". And there's always comparisons. Or I'm not as smart as. If you're not very tall, but you're really smart, then other people, they're going to compare themselves to you because they're not as smart or they're not as rich or they're not as right whatever and so that's the trigger is comparing yourself to others or even looking in the mirror and that is what's causing this epidemic rise uh how people react when this dragon roars is they feel inferior. They can feel depressed. They can get jealous,

be overly sensitive, perfectionistic, and they can actually develop something called body dysmorphic disorder, where they only see their body's flaws and obsess on them. And that's what I was getting at, is that there's so many things that can cause that when you're a child, if you're abused or you're sexually abused. I could see where this one for women would really... Well, eating disorders. Eating disorders.

And you remember when we were at the Byron Katie event. Yes. That's why I was thinking of this. And she asked people to describe their bodies, right? Oh, yeah. And it was the weirdest thing to have all the women. Or just what are your thoughts about your body? What do you hate about your body? That's what she said.

I will never forget it. Because just about every woman in the room, fat, skinny, old, young, it did not matter. Beautiful, plain. They all had the same thoughts. It was so crazy. And to tame this dragon, it's just critical to stop comparing yourself to other people.

And I teach people the 18, 40, 60 rule that says, when you're 18, you worry about what everybody's thinking of you. When you're 40, you don't give a damn what anybody thinks about you. And when you're 60, you realize no one has been thinking about you. So true. You need to care about what you think. And so I know it's hard to stop comparing yourself to others. Six steps.

One, be aware of when you do it. Two, no comparison triggers and then avoid them. Like if you're looking at Fortune's top 400 richest people in the United States and you know almost all of us are not in that list. So stop looking at the list. Yeah. You're scrolling on Instagram and only looking at all these, you know, beautiful models and, you know, stop it. And change the focus to something else. So consciously get your mind going in another direction. Focus on your strengths and accomplishments. I have that as an exercise for my patients. Five is don't criticize others because when you're criticizing others, you're more likely to criticize yourself. And six, avoid mindlessly scrolling social media.

The movies that the inferior flawed dragon loves are Marvel X-Men, mutant characters that have special powers. I love this. And the meditations, I am unique. I restrain from comparing myself to others. I am strong, independent. I will be my best, not someone else's best. I work hard. So do any of you notice this dragon? Do any of you notice it in your children? It's very important to tame this dragon and consciously, purposefully work on not comparing yourself to other people.

So what did you learn today? Write it down, post it on any of your social media sites. When we come back in this series, we're going to talk about the anxious dragon breathing fire all over the world, especially in the midst of the pandemic. You can pre-order the book at yourbrainisalwayslistening.com. Leave us a comment, question, or review at brainwarriorswaypodcast.com. Thanks for being with us. If you're enjoying the brain warriors way podcast, please don't forget to subscribe. So you'll always know when there's a new episode. And while you're at it, feel free to give us a review or five-star rating as that helps others find the podcast. If you're interested in coming to Amen clinics, use the code PODCAST10 to get a 10% discount on a full evaluation at amenclinics.com.

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