Chapo Trap House - 1023 - Camusbian feat. Katherine Krueger (3/30/26)

Episode Date: March 31, 2026

We talk about the Return of Rahm, the Democrats looking for a hot candidate, and Katherine’s Disneyland memories. But mostly we let Felix explain the Rob Schneider-Andrea Dworkin-Albert Camus connection. Kind of a gas leak episode here folks. Pitch Katherine pieces for The Intercept at [e-mail].

This is from my reading. This is the first draft for my audiobook. Pointless stories from my father. Title not inspired by Barack Obama's famous to my father. When I was 16, I got into a fight with my friend, and I told my dad, because I lost. I wouldn't have told him if I won. If I won, it was like, you know, lesson learned. I'm the man.

but I lost. So he was like, oh yeah, you know, when I was your age, I had a car, and I had a group of friends, and we like drove around,

and our biggest friend would like stomp on the fucking floor of my car. And after several months, I finally stood up to him and was like, stop. He beat me up horribly. And then 10 years later, I found out he had been in a road rate incident

and lost a fight to an even bigger man and went home and killed himself. and I was like, thanks, I feel so much better, dad. The moral of the story is don't kill yourself. Something worse might happen. It's kind of like the movie A Good Man when Mr. Chen, the villain, goes, if you wait by the river long enough,

the bodies of your enemies may flow by. I guess that was his point. Mr. Chen may have been inspired by my dad. I would file a copyright claim. His name was Glylo, the White Ghost. Well, it is Monday, March 30th, and this is your shop, to me, Felix, and Catherine on today's show. Hello.

As far as the show goes, as far as our guest goes, I want to say. And that's, I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I'm right where I'm supposed to be. And Felix, you kind of remind me my little brother. He was always trying to do the right thing. You know, all I gotta say, you is, I love my country. I love my family, even though they ain't here no more.

Okay. So, coming over Friday, it's our 10-year anniversary show. So I feel like it's, you know, we're sort of coming full circle here. We're coming back to, like, where we started. Yeah. Which is staying at an Airbnb and watching Stephen Segal movies every night. We should be recording this through tin cans. And we should infest the Airbnb with bugs.

Yeah. Yeah, get an aunt-style situation going. It was very Prince of Egypt. We watched Sniper Special Ops and Co-Code of Honor last night. Yeah. Sniper Special Ops, you know, like, I mean, this is like years ago. I remember watching that with Nick after we recorded in like year one. And it's an extraordinary movie.

It's tour to force. Yeah, it's probably the most sedentary role Seagal has ever taken. Oh, I didn't finish it. But can you tell me what happens? Spoiler alert. What are they, what's the resolution? with the trucks. The major plot point involves two trucks and

getting under them and getting around them. Guys, like, there's a lady in one. There's a lady in another. You know, like, this is why, this is why you can't watch movies for girls. Yeah, no. Like, they're going to be asking questions. Yeah, like, what happened to the other truck?

Like, what was the point of this? Why did these two trucks break up? You know, like that, like those reels with the no card where you're supposed to like ask your homie, like, and is there someone else? Oh, do you think it's like, um, One of those things where it's like, he's okay because he lied. Yeah.

And then you found the other words and it's like, she's sad because he told the truth. Yeah. And that's the, she's the truck that they left in the valley. And he's the truck that they took to the base. Sometimes you got. I'm realizing I don't know what happened with the trucks. And I've seen this movie three times. Sometimes I assume they drove at least one truck to get Steven Sikull.

Sometimes you got to leave a truck that you love in hopes that Steven Succal will come. come back. So the main thrust of this movie, what makes this movie, uh, great. Like the A pot of this movie is that like, Steven Seagall is ostensibly the leader of like this Delta 4 style team. But to make the chronology of this makes sense. Like the chronology of all these latter periods to gall movies are so fucked up because they have to make it seem like he's not 70. So like in a good man, my favorite movie is a good man in a good man.

The younger brother who like does all of the stunts in the movie for Seagal, he's 47 years old. His younger sister is 35 and their youngest sister is six. And so it's like who are the parents? And in sniper special ops, Steven Seagall is 72. So the other members of his team are like these 60 year old pro wrestlers. And they have a few guys who like, I guess are young enough to actually be in the military, but they instantly get whacked. They get whacked or... Legitimate targets.

The entire A plot of the movie ends up being Stephen Seagull spending sitting in a, sitting in a room with this guy who like got shot in the spine. Which for the ladies listening, all two to three of you, is, is, uh, the guy from the valley. Daniel,

from the valley. Daniel, Boco, um, yeah, which was a real fucking trip. His dad founded Boca Haram. That's,

uh, I hate nepotism cases like, like that. I know. But so he's like, he's like, bleeding out and like paralyzed and he's like, am I gonna make it?

And he goes like, I ain't no man. And he just, He doesn't try to render first aid. He doesn't try to carry him down the stairs. It would involve him standing up. Yeah. He just Seagall sitting in a chair and staring out the window.

And occasionally, it's so confusing. The first time I saw this, I thought that, like, it was implied he's a traitor and Seagull is torturing him by letting him play out. But Seagull is actually supposed to be, like, the good guy. And, uh... There's nothing to be done. All Seagull is doing is staring wistfully out the window. And every so often, he, like, uh, like,

fatly shuffles into the street to like steal supplies that he then doesn't give to the guy. He just like drinks the water. And halfway through the Daniel Booko is like, why are you doing this for me? And Seagal goes, I know, man, you just remind me my little brother. He always gained me into some stuff.

He was my five-year-old younger brother. He died in desert storm. Yeah, collapsing the timelines on these. And so in this monologue, monologue, I'm being generous here. But in the lore drop of a Stephen Segal's character, we found out that his younger brother died in Operation Desert Storm. This movie was made in 2016. Yeah.

If your younger brother died in like 1991, I'm like, yeah, let's do the math here. So the youngest, the younger brother could have, like the latest he could have been born is 1973. Problem? Is there an issue? That's movie magic. But Stephen Seagal was born in...

The real Steven Seagal was born in 1952. So, what's the opposite of Irish twins? I mean, that's like Jewish twins. It's like my family. I guess I'm... Like, my brother is like Seagal in that movie and I'm like the younger brother. Yeah.

So my brother is probably like in a dusty room right now with a guy who's dying. And he's like, Sam, why are you doing this for me? But that other guy's sitting in a really comfortable wooden chair. No, my brother's sitting in the chair. Oh. And he's like, I don't know, you were my... My brother doesn't sound like that.

Well, but... And, like, the guy's telling your brother about, like, my best girl, she sent me a peer John letter. And now I'm shot in the spine and probably paralyzed and dying. Oh, also, like, it was very funny, like, when he shows, like, the why I'm fighting, like, the photo of his, like, his sweetie or whatever. Like, Segal just looks at it totally impassively and just puts it back in the envelope. He's got no comment at all.

Clearly the takeaway there is like, man, she kind of a six. She's not really worth all that, man. Yeah, I wouldn't even imprison her. I wouldn't even traffic her. Maybe I would take her to a woman GameStop and see what I could get for a motherfucking trading. But they ain't going to give you shit for that. Well, you know, obviously, like, it always helps to consult the works of masters, you know, to connect to the past to, like, understand what. we are now in the present and where we might be going in the future, the place where we're all

going to be living. And to that end, you know, Segal, the Art of War. I mean, he was a co-author on that book. Yeah, yeah. He was a co-author on Sun Suu's the Art of War. And, you know, America Sun Tzu's Segal. We're sort of, we're doing like the finger-painting version of the Art of War right now. And I said just two quotes from two foreign heads of state. This is regarding the, how the Iran war is going. This is from Italy's defense minister, Guido Crosetto said yesterday, right before the market's open today, he said, I am forced to know things that no longer let me sleep. For what could happen in the coming weeks for the effects it will have on the economy

and on our daily lives. Now, and then... Well, maybe he means like, oh, like Christmas is less than 10 months away. He's excited. So we're supposed to listen to some Guido talking about the economy? Yeah, whenever there's an Italian guy. named McGuido. It's like, can you yeah, real creative.

It's like all the Israeli guys who are named like Shlomo Schleckel. Like, okay, if you say so. Per that with this is a South Korea's president echoed very similar sentiments by saying the world is in turmoil

over the energy crisis. The situation is so serious that it has even kept me up at night. The intermediate, the immediate problem is grave enough, but the outlook ahead seems even more unstable. The situation is worse than expected. Oh, wow, that would be terrible if you guys couldn't make any more

of your amazing TVs in South Korea. Analyzing load right now. Make more washing machines, but like, oh, man, we have been using a South Korean TV, the strip. What is it? What's your beauty?

Is that so? No, it's not Sony. Sony. No, Sony's a proud Japanese camera. Sorry, sorry. Yeah. It's, you know, like Samsung. Every Korean TV I've ever used has lag. Like, what the fuck? Why? Why? Why did you do that?

Hyperpop, slowed down TVs. TCL. Now that's a TV. Another comment from about relating to the Iran war today is Cameron Lone Levitt, Trump's press secretary, said any violence that occurs after this point is entirely on Iran as they are just simply have not realized that they've been defeated yet. Right. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's, I should have thought of that when I was 16. Yeah. Just like lying on the floor.

Okay, whatever you do now. Technically under your dad's story, you getting in your fight with that friend, you know, it's indirectly your fault that his friend died after the road rage incident. I think the friend killed himself literally 37 years before I was born. But that is, it is a similar relationship of causality. It's similarly. They love this shit of like, yeah, actually, all the panes. Panicans are wrong.

We've won. But also it's really bad to be a panicking because it makes people think that we've lost. And it's like, okay, well, if it's such a resounding victory, then why does it matter? Yeah. Yeah. Well, actually, look, there was an interesting, an interesting suggestion in terms of, like, how the United States could deal with being at war. Because, you know, like, we've mentioned this before.

Like, yeah, like, gas has gone up, you know, we're going to see an increase in crisis. Pain at the pump. We're going to see pain at the pump and some increases in prices. And like I said, we'll see how the coming weeks go. But like, if this shit is still going on this summer, like, it's hard to imagine how bad that's going to be.

But we've talked before. Like, it really doesn't seem like America's at war. It's just dropped into the background so quickly. I think like no one wants to pay attention to it. Well, I mean, I guess. But they've like successfully manipulated oil markets. So, like, you know, oil has gone up now. Yeah.

They're finally like, reaching the point of diminishing returns. But I don't know. I just, I feel like this is one of those things where it's like, we may be speaking too soon on that. We haven't really scratched the surface of like how bad it can get. I mean, the Italians and South Koreans can't sleep. But there's an interesting suggestion that I saw this morning.

You know, it's an old suggestion, but, you know, I'd say a good one. And it comes courtesy of comedian Rob Schneider. Oh, hell yeah. Rob Schneider took the X on Friday to declare the United States. States must restore the military draft for our nation's young people amid the ongoing war with Iran. Each and every American at 18 years of age must serve two years of military service, Schneider, who has never served in the military road. They could also choose to serve part of the time overseas or in a country in a volunteer capacity. Being a citizen of the United States gives us unparalleled freedoms

and opportunities that are the envy of the world. However, these freedoms that we cherish do not come without a cost. You first, young man. I think he should, it should be like a Julia Child and OSS thing because if you watch his he makes I mean the surface level interpretation of these movies is that they're comedies

but I find his movies very psychological and say more about that well the director Michael Hanuky he said that the Rob Schneider filmed the hot chick is like one of the most disturbing and interesting explorations of gender

he's ever seen. Gasper, no. He said that irreversible is sort of based on what happens in the movie The Animal. And I think all these Rob Chowder movies, they're about like him. He's playing basically Rob Schneider.

He's playing a... He's a man caught between two worlds. Right. To the whites, they're like, hey, you're half Swagapino. Just Swagapinos? They're like, you're white. So he's like, he's sort of like a

Camouian. character. Is that the word? Camusian. He's a stranger. He's a stranger. He's a stranger. He's a Comubian queen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When he wants breakfast, he goes to

Karamu, Kamu coffee. Back to the maybe go back to the drawing board. Put that one back in the tape. I'm going to go out on the 405 and lose a fight and kill myself I think. But anyway, you know, he's a man caught between two worlds.

And he's always, he always has to like take on this new identity. Because he's so, his life is so wrought with indecision and being not quite being one or the other thing. He's always playing kind of like a loser. Like it's, we always know he's a loser because he'll like jack off and then like a bird will crap on him. There's a lot of symbolism. And like that people don't pick that up. What is that symbol? if you check up and then a purchase on you.

It symbolizes that your life is bad. And, you know, it'll be like he tries to, he tries to look nice for a date and then he gets poo on him. Yeah. And that symbolizes, that symbolizes, well, that's a class commentary. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy who did...

You can never, you can never really wash away your class upbringing. Who's the guy who did Parasite? Bong Joon Ho. Well, yeah, he said that he got the idea for that movie from when that happens. to Rob Schneider's movie because he's like, I've never seen class commentary like that because a rich guy,

he's not going to get a bunch of poo on him unless he wants to. Nine times out of ten, right? Where are we? But a poor man, there's very few layers between him and the poop. That's what he said. That's

the first draft of parasite took place in a septic tank. But anyway, Like, so, like, they did a very psychological thriller. It's very Jean Valjean. Yeah. No. Liberations or shit.

There's no poo in that. No. Like, he moves to a sewer. Yeah, but like a sewer was like, so sewers in 18th century France were a lot cleaner than they are now. Oh, there was no poo in the sewers. Sorry, sorry. Sorry, I'm just trying to, yes, and your poo bit.

They were sure. Just trying to take swimming and poo and take that somewhere. Please, be serious. All right. I'm on on this one. You know, yeah. Please get back on topic. Get back on topic.

So he's like, he's always just like a man caught between two worlds. He's at the fringes with society. And then because, you know, he like gets struck by lightning or a scientist is like, let's make him a girl or, you know, anything. Or he's like, cut this fucking head off. You can do it. Yeah. And like that character he was saying, you can do it. You can self-actualize.

Yeah. Yeah. You can, you know, you can transcend class and racial boundaries. It's, yeah, it's sort of Nietzschean. And so, like, you know, take for instance the movie The Hot Chick. I'm taking it. He's, you know, this sort of besotting cretan. Besotted?

Besotted. Creton. He's, his mind leaves his body. He's not dead. A hot chick's mind is in his gross. body. But she refuses to accept that she's Rob Schneider. So she's like, I know

and I don't agree with the gender politics of this movie, by the way. I don't. I don't. I don't think that this is how hot women act. I think there's a lot of pain they go through that movies don't capture. But like in the movie, and by the way, like the movie, it is sort of like a

Lolita thing where it's like... It's almost Jungian. Well, it's like Lolita because like it's the narration. is sort of like the sort of heinous logic of abuse. Because they're like, oh, a hot chick would try to get what she wants by being like, here's my boobs. A lot of people think the hot chick is the hero of the story.

But she slash Rob Snyder is not. Well, yeah, Rob Schneider, who, if I remember right, his brain goes into her body. He's sort of like Lolita. He's sort of like Dolores. And Claire Quilty is like the guy who fucks him, I think. This is a shopper literature and velocity. These are really advanced movies. And if you can't understand these and you have to watch some stupid shit popcorn thriller like Osford Park, I understand.

But my point is, Rob Schneider, you know, Julia Child, they made her an OSSA, right? They had her chase around. Christopher Lee. They had Julia Child chased around Nazis with a rolling pin doing all this stuff. and she was great I mean no disrespect to her God bless her God bless her family

rest in peace lady Christopher Lee they were like you're so good at being Dracula you should bite these guys they're like Christopher Lee we're picking you because the only way to make it

into the Eagles nest is to be invited in and because of all your Dracula knowledge it was a castle on top of a mountain who better than fucking son than Dracula there you could all

you're cooking on gas There you go. And so with Rob Schneider, he's become a woman. He's become the animal. He's like, Don, he's done. He's become a sexual slave to ugly women. He's not forget that. Duke Spigolo is a stultifying look.

But it's, I consider it sort of like, there are rumors that Andrea Dworkin wrote one script ever. Because she was trying to, she wanted to buy a, Plymouth Prowler. And like the, you know, the articles she was writing in books, she was saying they weren't paying the bills. And one of her, one of her protégés, her protege was actually the, the showrunner David Kelly from Allie McBeal.

She was the only man she ever, like, respected, really. And he was like, Andrea, I, you've turned me down when I've tried to offer you to Plymouth Prouler from my Allie McBeal money because you say that a man giving a woman is rape. Is rape. Yeah. But I can't, if you, I think you're the. best writer I've learned everything I know from you,

the dancing baby that's like from your shit, you're the best. He actually, that thing that Jay-Z, you know that thing that Jay-Z says when they say he rips off big, he was like, when they say, I'm ripping off big, I'm big-in-up my brother.

Yeah. David Kelly said that about Andrea Dwar. Yes. So Jay-Z actually stole that from David E. Kelly. And we all stand on the shoulders of giants in art, don't we? It's so true. Yeah. And so he was,

like, well, I will, I think like anything you write, that's going to be a classic. It's a stone cold classic. I will, like, we'll get it made. And Dworkin was like, okay, I just really want this Plymouth Prowler. I'm going to look so cool in it. I'm going to get so much pussy in this prowler. And he gets so much hot slit.

Yeah. Oh, my God. I mean, it's so much whiz in my thing. Oh, man. That's not, I think that's gross. That's what she was saying. I think that's gross. Oh, it's gross? Oh, that's gross?

It's gross to like to talk about sliths like that. If I said that. I think it's fine for a woman to say. Thanks, thanks. That would clarify. You know, she was like... She's allowed to say it. I'm allowed to say it.

Ooh, I can't wait to create some static between our two cooters. I don't know. Again, I don't like that. I don't think that's cool. We've got... We've got... We're talking about the Iranmore.

I bring it back. I bring it back. I'm bringing it back. So, she writes a movie. where it's like men will never understand men besides David Kelly and now eight years old Felix Beaterman will never understand my writing unless I make it so that like the woman in my books is a man and that's what Deuce Bigelow is it's like all

the all the Andrew Dwork and shit through Rob Schneid like he's playing a woman and the women are playing men and it's just like that's what what happens in Deuce Bigelow Mel Jiglo and Deuce Bigelow too that's what used to happen to women every day of their lives until that movie came out. And so Rob Schneider, he's done all these things. And so he could do anything. Like, we've all seen the Great Show Homeland where they had this amazing plan

to have Brody takeover Iran by killing the Soleimani stand in with an ashtray. They're like, we need to get you in the country so he can beat this guy to death of an ashtray. Rob Schneider could do that. Rob Schneider could like put on an outfit. He never even has to look like him because he's so convincing. He would

just be like, hey, I'm Qasam Soleimani. I'm back from the dead. He's a master of disguise. Yeah, and they'd be like, why aren't you speaking Farsi to me? And he's like, I forgot it. Doesn't matter. Does it matter? Put me in the war room. And then, boom, he beats whoever's in charge to death with it.

Because the assassinations work, clearly. And he can just take them all out or another option I thought of. Rob Schneider can do. He can be sort of like a V for vendetta. Like he'll take to the,

because none of these protests and are on work, you know, the dancing woman who, what is her name? The fucking lady with the flower in her hair? I don't know her name, but I don't, yeah, it's side show Bob.

Side show Bob. She looks like an idiot. She looks ridiculous. She looks ridiculous. She looks ridiculous. She looks like, hey, Polly Pocket, why don't we go to the toy chest

where you belong? You big dope. But Rob Schneider, because he's probably like, it doesn't matter how religious you are, whether you're a principalist or a reformist or a monarchist or a liberal or whatever. You, like,

they feel that the Iranians are very literary and they, what I just said about the movie, that's like what's taught in schools over there. You know, I mean, Philadelphia was, you know, like, the diplomat that we just assassinated. Yeah. He, like, he has studied Kant and Hegel and Rob Schneider.

And, like, he synthesized Kant, Hegel, and Dus Bigelah with Islamic thought and rationales. Yeah. Islamic teachings and mathematics. Absolutely. So, like, him being on the streets there and, like, you know, you know why, like, none of these protests ever really came close to overthrowing the government? Because there was no, you can do it spirit. Yeah. And, you know, like, like, Heggsath, Trump, the guy's in charge of our war effort.

If I could just, like, refocus his back to the world of a rest. Yeah. No, no. No, no. You're actually, you can not. We had a slight digression. I'm sorry. They watch Rob Sondon movies and they're like,

oh, this is funny. But they don't understand. They don't understand the layers of it. And like, you said, you refer to, you know, like he is. The super text, if you will. He is an existential figure. Yeah.

Like his movies are about. Camubian. Yeah, he's a Camubian figure. And I'll just remind you that the stranger is a book about an asshole who goes to the desert and kills an Arab. Yes. And like, he's using that sort of as a, like,

Rob Schneider is. He's using Camubian's. the stranger. He's using like that, that plot isn't an analogy for sending young people into a mountainous country is not to kill Arabs,

but Persians. Yes. But Iranians. So like, that's the symbolism that's going on here and it works on several levels. Yeah.

Where are we? What has happened? I feel delusional. Well, that is the first thing. Well, I will never... This is why you can't show movies to girls. Yeah.

This is not my fault. This is not my fault. By the way, I mean, just... Okay, I'm not... I exert some discipline here over the conversation. Okay.

In Sniper Special Ops. This actually is very 10th anniversary team. You know, like, this is very like, where, you know. Okay. In Sniper Special Ops, the 30 to 40 minute scenes of two trucks being parked and guys like approaching a truck, looking at the truck, going into the back of the truck. Telling the, telling the interpreter, like, you have to walk to the truck. And he's like, oh, are you sure?

They're like, go to the truck or we'll kill you. Figure out what language the truck speaks. Yeah. I did see, I saw an interview towards the end of his life with the great director William Friedkin. And he said the truck sequence in sniper special offs like made him question everything about his career. He said, I thought Sorcer was a pretty good movie, but now I know it's shit.

And then he died after that interview. He thought that was the number one truck movie, but it's been surpassed. He was like, I thought I was pretty good at making directors, making movies, but I'm a fucking hat. I suck. Yeah. We, shout out to Brandon Wardell, who like, um, We had the option

night before last. The reason we watched these to all movies today is because I was out with Wardell and shout out to Wardell's friends. I didn't catch your name because I was thinking about Rob Schneider so much. Shout out to all the L.A.

You were great guys. I love you. You're the realest people ever folk in that. I'm right where I'm supposed to be. My little brother. You y'all are in my little football. But we were, we had the choice between like going to a party at Chateau Marmont or going to our Airbnb to watch a good man

starring Steven Seagall. And you know what we picked. Your ass knows what we... And this episode would be totally different if you hadn't made that choice. Rhodes, this is sliding doors. Rose diverge in the wood. You know, this episode would be, I don't know,

what would it be like? Had you gone to the Chateau? Were it not for the first 20 minutes or so this episode, I would probably be compelled to talk about the Israeli Knesset, passing a law to execute. all of their hostages. But that's what that.

I'm not going to talk about that right now. We cut that for time. So in, you know, we all love the movie The Raid, right? Yeah. Yes, of course. Well, after the movie, a good man came out, they were like, the choreography

in the raid is kind of a bunch of stupid dog shit that should be burned compared to the great scene where Steven Seagall tells Mr. Chen, who's job. is selling children to pedophiles. This is not you.

He gets him to stop holding a kid hostage. He's like, this is not you. The triad boss who's just like, he's like, you know, you're right. You know, when I started out in this business, we were like, you know, moving heroin through the Golden Triangle. We grew up in a small town.

Yeah, we were selling weapons that were arming terrorist groups all over the world. It was pure. It was pure. It was about, it was about honor. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was about honor.

And this, this child sex trafficking shit is just, it's not in. What Stephen's to call me? It's not it. This isn't you. This is me, though. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When we were watching, we like, so in that movie, he has to like buy the daughter, like the youngest sister back from like,

again, the most confusing fan, like, I don't know if like they had their first kid when the, they were six or what. But like, they um the idea that seagall is like

okay well obviously to blend in with the other sex traffickers I'm gonna have to do some pretty gross stuff to your sister but it's like less bad than what's gonna happen otherwise um would you rather have your sister molested for good or for evil

but yeah but yeah they did they destroyed every copy of the raid and the raid two after a good man came out and I actually heard that when William Hurt saw uh Seagal's performance in a perfect weapon where he plays a villain.

Hurt was also often played villains. He was, he bit off his tongue and choked on it. Yeah, he died. Yeah, he killed himself. Because he would never be that good. Wow. I, I, William hurt myself today

to see if I could be in Goliath with Billy Bob Thornton. It's actually a really good show. Your second season isn't good. The guy, From Dexter made it after David Kelly left He had to go collect the dragon balls

It's really all come back around To bring Andrea Dworkin back to life And when Trent Rezner heard Johnny Cash Sing those words He said it's yours now Yeah, it's yours, it's yours It was always yours

I think we've pretty well started the war Yeah, yeah, we're good there And gender politics And, like, you know, our ongoing slide into Nazi genocidal fascism. That's done busted. But, like, okay, we can return to any of these subjects, by the way. And the listeners at home are clamoring for it. Do not fear.

Yeah, we're dog ear this pair. I'd like to, look, we've talked a lot about, you know, foreign policy, the war, you know, with the future holds. But, you know, I think we should turn to the domestic political scene. And I just got a couple things here I want to get to about some potential Democratic presidential candidates in 2020. It's never too early to start Sandy Hanukamp in this.

And one of them... Let's get this murderer's row going. Yeah, well, yeah. One of them is Rahm Emanuel. Okay. A Chicago boy. Just like Felix. Yeah. Most people would be like, yeah, there's rising anti-Semitism.

You know, there's never been more anti-Semitism. in the tents and the sidewalks on campus. But this is sort of like, you know, America's racist country, but we can elect Barack Hussein Obama. We can elect the most charismatic Jewish guy ever. The most charismatic, good-looking, coolest, funniest.

Do you remember? Do you guys remember the Twitter account? The, like, does anyone remember this? It was like a Rahm Emanuel thing where it was this whole saga where it was just like, what if Rom Emanuel was just like the coolest motherfucker in the world

and he said fuck all the time. This was like when I was in college and I was like a West Wing lib it was like this whole saga. Yeah, I mean, do I remember it? Like that's how I pulled you. Oh, you ran it. That's how I pulled you.

I was, I was DMing my tits to fake Rom Emanuel. Just, you know. I was going to get up making. Do you move it right along? Do you remember when, uh, He was, Biden works hard to make him ambassador to Japan. And, like, he was at some, like, bullshit thing. It's, like, Japanese, like, high school or asked him a question.

And he was like, can I adopt you? Can I adopt you? Yeah, he's a little seagall. Yeah, yeah. He's, like, he's trying to do sex trafficking. But he'd probably to rescue her from a worse sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The sound of freedom.

Well, this is, this is a profile of Roman Manuel in Politico that came out. And Helen is Democrats. Finally, there just haven't been enough profiles of this guy lately. I also like that you say Emmanuel, like in the Christmas way. Yeah. Emmanuel. What do you mean the Christmas way? Like, oh come, oh come, Emmanuel.

No. What the fuck? This is not a Christian podcast. I am out of my depth here. I thought I was among godly, man. Are you sure you? Emmanuel. Are you sure it wasn't like an invented denomination?

No. No. The Rusranism is not made up. I know. I'm not. Well, you could have had the history podcast. All American, all modulations are made up. Is it Emmanuel like those?

Will is really trying here. Is it Emmanuel like those softcore movies? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yes, yes. It's pretty cool. I don't know about that. Democrats have a Ram Emanuel problem. Touring dinners and factory floors with the man taking aim at his own party.

This is how it begins. This is a dateline Grand Rapids, Michigan. This is how Rahm Emanuel eats a salad. He rips open its clear clamshell container with two hands. He grabs the ramekin of the dressing. He pours it across the salad. Then he picks up the salad container, shaking it with an intensity and ferocity

that forces the balsamic throughout, giving no quarter to the greens and the grilled chicken. Did you have a word count you were supposed to mean? Like, what does it mean to give no quarter to something you're going to eat? Oh, I was going to take the chicken and the cucumber. I was going to give them, put them in my old barracks

and feed them from our own rations but I decided to break international law and kill them like can you what do you do? Go back to the writings of David E. Kelly and Indry Dwork this is a political prisoner.

Who wrote this? This sounds like a Chris who's that asshole whose thing is being like the politics guy in Snapchat? Oh God. I forget who that person is. His name is like David Handjob or something. Haskell?

No. No, David. We'll edit that in. Let's see. I'll see if I can, I'll see if I can, what is that guy's name? Jamie?

I'll see if I can. Just, he's the guy who wrote the article about Beto. Just Google. David Hand job. This is the guy who wrote the article about Beto where he said he talked about us and he was like, they look like roadies from Montford and sons.

Okay. And it's like, oh damn. You got me. It says here, this is material information, mind you, for his would-be 2028 Democratic. No, it's not. This is material information for his would-be 2028 Democratic presidential primary rivals.

Because how Rom eats a salad is how he does anything and everything with intent and with verve and without mercy. This is, it's... How do you eat salad with mercy, you fucking dumb ass? You know, like... Well, you're kind of leaning away from it. How do you eat salad without intent? You just let you throw it in the air and you're like, oh, whatever lands in my mouth, it's... That's God's...

plan. This is such fucking shitty writing. The next presidential election is more than two years away. But ROM 66 is already saturating old and new media with his small bore policy rollouts and white papers. He's saturating the media sphere with with salad dressing. And he's showing no quarter to the grilled chicken. Yeah.

Okay. The policy papers. He's like he's like spears from band of brothers. They're like, all the other guys who are eating salad, they're giving cigarettes to them. They're like, Oh, you grew up in Milwaukee too? Wow.

Hey, what are you doing here fighting for the Nazis, man? Oh, what the hell? Wow, a piece of chicken breast that speaks the same language I do? What the hey? Hey, I feel like a big poluka

that I was fighting you. Hey, you know, I think I'm gonna go get my own salad as you walk away. You just hear, you're, yeah. Oh, my God. How could Emmanuel do that?

When we got home, me and that one piece of the salad, we were going to go back to Los Angeles and beat up Latino guys are wearing suits. He's already saturating old media and new media with his small bore policy rollouts

and white papers. Spending hours cultivating Beltway and Battleground State reporters with on and off the record bowl sessions. Small bore indeed. Like this one at a deli amid a three-day swing through Michigan in February. My view is you've got to be comfortable in the classroom

and the situation room and everything in between, Emmanuel told me a few weeks after the Michigan swing before he is headed to Wisconsin to hold a town hall and stump in the state's upcoming Supreme Court race. This job, you've got to know your way around and it's going to be demanding. I'm going to emphasize both,

but what I think is important for the American people to hear and to know about, and the second kicker is, it reflects my experience, and others may not have that. So he's comfortable in all kinds of rooms. And I think, like, that's something a lot of Democratic candidates have been lacking.

Rooms with salads. Rooms with sandwiches. Yeah. Soup. Soups. Rooms with a soup and a salad situation. Rooms that don't have LaCroix, but only have that shitty one, spin drift.

Yeah. Felix, you seem like you like spin drift. I hate spin drift. What the hell is that supposed to? I mean, yes, I do. I do. Okay, so I wasn't speaking out of turn. Yeah, but what the hell is that, man?

I don't know. Well, I like the, let me tell you something. I'm sorry. I was, you know, people who know me know I love the seven-hop, I'm Shirley Tumble Zero, which they, you don't stop making to make people sad. I really am sorry.

But I accidentally ordered the Spin Drift Shirley Temple, which may shock you to know, not a sweet drink. It's like if you made Shirley Temple with all the fruits, but none of the azucar. It's just the temple. As it's known in Latin. Yeah.

As it's known in Los Angeles. Yeah. Los Ciudad de los Angolos. But it's spectacular. If you're ever looking for a Shirley simple that's not sweet at all. I recommend it. Well, I'll keep that in mind.

Felix, was the person that you were thinking of Ben Sixth Smith? No, no, but he sounds pretty scary. That sounds like a cowboy. Keep him away from me. I'm going to find, I know I can find. Okay, great. I'm hitting all the keywords and getting nothing. Move along here.

It says the, uh, the 2028 Democratic presidential field, whether they realize it or not has a Rahm Emanuel problem. His campaign is likely to be a rolling system. the SOSDA Soldier moment for the Democratic Party's left-leaning orthodoxy, particularly on social issues. His pugilism and his critique of the party's leftward lurch will create a gauntlet. His would-be rivals will have to navigate. Can I just point out the Sista-Soldja moment was 35 fucking years ago? Yeah.

And years in politics plus countless hours on CNN and helped him hone his sharp-edge debate blade. Yep. Yeah, yeah. As you can see, it's more like... I got a blade for you right here. We're still living under his Democratic majority of 2006. Chris, it was Peter Hamby. Peter Hamby, okay.

Yeah, that's pretty close to David Han job. You see how I got there. Yeah. Guess what asshole. I look like a roadie for the band Swan. Nice. That's what I think. Electorally, I don't think he'll be a threat,

but he has an ability to shape the race in other ways, as one Democratic advisor to another. That's what they said about Yakub. So it's like, basically what they're saying is here is he's just going to be a crash out for Israel. Yeah. Like, that's what's the situation? Who is he for other than democratic strategists who want to beat up on the left?

And like it's talking about Israel. He's for Ben-Gavir and Netanyahu. I mean, Ronald Manuel is another one of these guys who like Josh Shapiro who like and Jeffrey Goldberg of the Atlantic who were like born in America and then volunteered for Israel's military. out that like there was something new about is it from this profile that like he actually is Israeli or he was born in Israel did you see this this week? A baby.

Yeah, there was like a like he didn't just yeah. Born in Israel. Born down. Don't quote me on that. Hang on. Born down in a dead man's town. The first spit I took is when I hit the ground. End up like a nun that's been spit too much.

So you spent half your life just covering up war crimes. Actually, they're not covering up war crimes. So they're not even bothering. Yeah, we can't. He wasn't born in Israel. I can't find what that is. Please cut that. Do you mean he has like dual citizenship?

No, it was, this was news like just in Lasca, moving on. Keep all the song, though. Oh, was he actually, I think I know. Yeah. So he was actually David Kelly's protester. And David Kelly was like, no, don't go into politics. You're like, you're the only other man besides this guy.

who isn't an adult yet named Felix who understands Andrea. And he's like, no, I have to do this. Yes, yes. Yeah, that's what that's what it was about. That's what it was about. He'll be able to shape the race in other ways, says one Democratic advisor to another potential 2028 contender, granted anonymity to candidly assess an Emmanuel candidacy.

He's good at getting reporters to cover him, and he is shameless in a good way. Like this one. He's not afraid of putting himself out there. It's like, well, I mean, he's running for president. Yeah, what the fuck? be like kind of a prerequisite for the job. Like the only campaign I can think of where the guy was like actually not like actually

really passive and shy about running for president was Lincoln Chafee. Yeah. Yeah. Which was the cutest campaign. He was so, he was so embarrassed to just be like, hey, sorry, could I get a little, a little spot over here? I loved him. Yeah, he was cute.

He makes me, it's like, the way he ran for president is how, like, when I go to a restaurant alone, how I feel. Yeah. You're just like, oh, sorry, I'm really sorry, could I order it? I don't know why being alone in a restaurant makes me feel what, but it's just like, I don't know. I, is there something I can wear that can make them think instead of being a loser? I'm like a widower. I'm kind of tragic.

Kind of like what you like, do not look, do not touch, like what they put on those kind of highly reactive dogs. No, you should get a framed photo of a woman and put it across the table from you and like look at it like sort of wistfully. Oh, there's actually this girl at the gym I've been taking pictures of her. I mean, as part of an art project. I'm sorry. I mean that. Oh, boy. Okay.

He has released no fewer than eight policy proposals from a social media ban for children under 16 to a predictive markets ban for federal employees and their family members to age limits on politicians running from office. Well, you know, like, those three things are actually kind of endorsed. Yeah, I mean, what, yeah, what, I just, the thing about, like, prediction market bans for federal employees, how about, like, for everyone, you know?

Yeah. Like you a weird half measure. Well, and it's not going to go, you know, it's not going to go anywhere. Right. None of the shit's going to go anywhere. It's like, you know. There's technically like an insider trading ban for a lot of federal employees. That doesn't really start.

You can do all these things through proxy. The point is that they like exist and they're eminently exploitable. I believe New York State just opened up an investigation into insider trading with respect to Kalshi. But, you know, we'll see about that. He has said he would campaign in forgotten parts of the country during his recent Michigan trip. He demonstrated he's in his wearing safety. glasses and touching heavy machinery alongside

blue-collar workers in a battleground state era. First of all, if I was a campaign, if I was advising any campaign, I would say, campaign in the real parts of the country, people have forgotten about these parts of the country for good reason. Yeah. They don't want to remember you. It's hard to imagine someone less

likable. Like, we thought Hillary Clinton was unlikable. Rom Emanuel is even squirlier. You know, like... Do people like that when they're like, hey, I'm in your stupid shitty town that everyone forgot? Except for me. Everyone forgets about you because you're so poor and disgusting and sad to think about. Yeah, I'm not afraid to eat your food or touch your hands, but I am.

I do have Purole on deck. Yeah. And a spit bucket. Yeah. I will show your food no mercy. Yeah. I will attack it with intensity and ferocity. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Like, it's just like, oh, wow, no Democrat has ever tried any of this shit before. Shaking hands and touching machinery. Like, what do they think the regular Democrat campaign is like? Like, do they think it's like Beto where he's like, we're going to get rid of all the churches and guns? Yeah. He's the only guy who did that. I mean, it was, look, respect. Yeah. But no one, everyone else has been sharing the same Carhart jacket for 30 fucking years, man. Emmanuel made joke, but he is serious about running and not just acting as a stalking horse for another moderate Democrat, those who know him say. So that's exactly what he's doing. Yeah. Yeah. Like, he's just going to be a crash out for like the pro-Israel Zionist part of the party.

Yeah. To discipline the love. Like Seth Moulton or some asshole. I don't think you have the personality and drive of Ron Emmanuel to do this as some kind of academic exercise to be picked up by what other people who want to be president. Says John Anzalone, the Democratic pollster who maintained Emmanuel as a client during his Chicago mayoralty and still keeps in touch with him. The fact is, someone like Rahm and his personality and his drive goes into saying, hey man, I'm looking at this field and I just got as much as chance as anyone else. Boy. Oh, man.

That's why you make the big. bucks high, John Insela. Yeah, I guess you got as good a chance as anyone else. Might as well jump on in there. There's a 50-50 shot of anything happening. There'll be $7 million. Nothing ever happens until it happens. This idea that Rahm is just in it to kind of change the dialogue is wrong.

Add Matt Bennett, vice president of the center left thing-tank third way. Can we get like, can we at least have like a different, all the talking heads in the story are saying the same fucking thing? Can we at least have one guy who's like, can we talk to a, I wish Larry Sinclair was still alive so he could just be like, actually, I gave him AIDS. Because everyone else is saying the same fucking thing.

Like, why can't you just have one guy saying this? It's just one blob. Also, like, you know, it's amazing to me the third way is still around. Like, what's the third way now? Pretty much 80% of what the Trump administration is doing. Yeah, yeah.

But like, there's one way and it's toward Israel. Do 80% of what Trump is doing now, but like, you should also, like, have some weird ceremony where you go to a little, game and you're like, baseball taught me how to be a good neighbor. And also like, don't stand up for trans people

because that's, you know, too far left. Well, says here, Emmanuel's ideas amount to a critique of what he sees as the long drift of the Democratic Party from Clinton to Joe Biden. He wants help Democrats win back white working class voters, the Clinton era Bubba voters that have gone hard for Trump. I'm not into Democrats sitting on the 30th floor

of Manhattan high rise in their Lulu outfit with their Yeti Cup talking about, we should go to places We should go to places that we don't go and then never go. Emmanuel told me before I'm barking on the trip. So I don't want to talk about it. I'm just going to go. You know what?

Most Americans don't want to circumcise their kids. During the Hellenic period of Judaism, there was, this was before modern doctors, through a system of rocks, they figured out how to uncircumcise their penises. Normally you wouldn't have to do this, but because they were living under Greek.

administration. It was like most civic activities were naked. And that involved, you know, having a foreskin. Well, did you know, Equinox is the oldest company in the Western world? Equinox is actually the name of like, you know, City Hall under the

Greek period of Judaism. But Rahmmanuel, if you want to, like, connect with the jug hootting Americans, it's time to get your foreskin back. Do you think most Americans are Jewish, you dumb asshole? Don't be giving out. Don't be giving out free advice like this, Felix.

This is how you get a huge, this is how you get a huge consultant payday. This is, he wouldn't do it. Wow. It says, Emmanuel's own the Libs broadside of his own party on platforms

like Megan Kelly's podcast has won him some Republican fans. Former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has called him incredibly smart, tough, and a reasonable guy. Well, I mean, he said that, but then like the piece,

then he read this piece and it begins with him eating a salad. And he was like, oh, no thanks. Yeah, yeah. He plays calls for a mandatory retirement age of 75 for the president and across provinces of government, which would prevent him from serving a full second turn when plot it's in a Fox News segment.

I mean, again, like, I'd have to support Rom there. Oh, who does that remind me of? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, who does that remind me? I mean, it's not like him or the last guy who said he would do that. Or giant egomaniac, psychos, who had just came to the entire country for the own ego.

I think that's a real open question here. Like, you know, I don't recall any particular reporting that Rom was involved in propping up Joe Biden toward the end, but he probably was. So, like, you know, I'm curious how this campaign will reckon with, you know, the Democratic nominee for president. First of all, running for a second term and then handing the presidency over to Donald Trump, right? Like, you know, lying to the voters, lying to America. Like, you know, that's a wedge issue.

Right, right. That is the thing, right? That is the entire point of this reframing of the Biden administration. Yeah. It was like, oh my God, it was actually the most far left fucking. Yeah, that's a moderation that has to happen. is it was too far left, not like he was out to lunch and we lied to you about it.

Yeah. Well, I mean, like, keep in mind this is coming at a time in which even Matt Euglesias said this week that like, yeah, like, I think Democrats should just like,

you know, say Israel's bad, but like... Not mean it. But like, yeah, but not mean it and stick to their guns on like zoning reform

and fucking, I don't know, breaking public sector unions or whatever. Yeah. So, like, I mean, like, what's unstated in this whole article is that like, oh,

his broad sides against like the party's left flank on the fact that it's Rahm Emanuel, former IDF soldier doing it, is that like this is to contain the fact that Israel is as popular as like gonorrhea in the Democratic Party right now. Does Israel come up in this story at all? Not really. Control out.

Yeah. That's insane. Like, if you want to talk about like 80, 20 fucking shit, man. Well, he says, he likes to say he's done with the discussion of locker rooms. I am done with the discussion of bathroom.

and we better start having a conversation about the classroom. Oh, attacking Democrats' rhetoric in favor of trans rights and centering much of his proposals for reform around education. Okay, if we have to like just like, okay, if the thing is like fuck trans people, it's like too marginal the thing. Well, like the battle's lost, I guess. This also doesn't mean standing up for the bathrooms and, you know, trans people. But like if that's the thing, and it's like, okay, there's too few of them.

This is like a many versus a few thing. okay, if you're also one of these guys who's like anti-Semitism is worse than ever, okay, then you probably shouldn't run for anything. Yeah, yeah. Like, why do Jews get something that trans people? If you're trans, you just like go to the bad, fucking don't be seen, don't be heard.

If you're Jewish, this is in good moment for you to be brave and stand up. Yeah, yeah. Which one is really under attack? Yeah. You know, like under, you know, faced with bodily harm every day. Well, this is here, but all that, but that all belies his own role in the Democratic shift leftward on cultural issues.

As mayor in 2016, Emmanuel closed a loophole in the city's human rights ordinance that required people to show a government issued ID when accessing public accommodations like bathrooms, which critics argued discriminated against transgender people. Can I say it's a problem? I don't know that individually, Emmanuel said it at the time, but this has been a request of the transgender community and we're going to make the changes to reflect our values and to make sure there is no discrimination in the city of Chicago, whether it's in washrooms in the city but also in our schools. I asked Emmanuel about that about face.

I've always, he started, here's the thing. I've always loved Beth. That's the other thing. These guys are saying, I was warning everyone, this stuff went too far, but you actually go back and they were going along. They were completely going along with like the Hillary maximalist Idpol stuff. So it's like, okay,

then your judgment is just as fucking bad as anyone else is. It's not. Like, the idea that, like, this is why Democrats lost is only because of, like, Ninnett stuff is like, it's kind of absurd. Obviously, it was, like, alienating to some people,

but they certainly won a lot of elections while that stuff was much more prominent. But these same fucking assholes that are like, oh, yeah, we got to get rid of this unpopular, woke stuff, like, um, not giving Israel everything they want.

There's one issue that's fucking alienating everyone from the Democratic Party right now. You go back. You go back not that long. You go back like four years ago. And all these guys is like press releases and social media posts are like, I'm queaning out with Beyonce. I just served cunt in a major way. And I'm feeling mother AF.

Well, and it's just like. I'm giving NB realness. I've always felt like a they, them, even though I'm a 66 year old former fucking. Goldman Sachs director. And you're just like, if you're ever going to give any credence to the idea that like, you know, saying anything about trans people

had any negative impact on Democrats electorally, but you won't look at the Israel at all. It's like, I cannot take you seriously. It's like, yeah, we'll moderate on any socialist issue that first of all, we did not actually run on, but we won't look at this other, this one, there's a firewall around one issue that we can't moderate on. It's like the third way guy.

Like, they're always talking about like, oh, we like we know we can't enforce pure. test. Like, we need to be a big tent party. And then they're like, anyone who speaks with the vile anti-Semite, Hassan Piker needs to be like struck out of our party. We have red lines. There's no room for anti-Semitism. I saw someone talking about Hassan today

and they were like, he has said things that cross a moral taboo that the Democratic Party must always maintain. I'm like, there's the same day where Israel's like, yeah, we're just going to like hang all our political prisoners in the service of this genocide we've done. I guess that isn't a red line. And like, here's an issue of which like the

Democratic voters are like 90, 10 on. Yeah. And then they're holding like the 10% position and disciplining anyone who is just like, could you stop doing this? So like the, could you even try moderating? When a public opinion seems to move right on issues like immigration or trans people,

they're like, well, that's just written in stone. It's the new reality that we all have to adapt to. And then when public opinion shifts left massively on an issue like the war on their own voters. The war in Iran or like are Palestinians human beings. They're just like, no, time to get out the, time to get out the ruler and wrap the number. of these fucking, like, yeah. Yeah. Or like, you know, like, we have to like have a big party,

have a big tent party, but one that's like, excludes 90% of our voters on this issue. One that's trying to bring in like this mystical, suburban, like, moderate conservative as opposed to your own fucking voters. What about young people? What about young people who are inclined to vote for Democrats if you just give them the simplest little fig leaf of, yeah. Well, here's response here.

He says, I've always, he started, here's, here's the thing. I mean, he's really good on his day. You got to give that to him. As I said before, and I'm going to say it again, way too much about bathrooms and not enough about classrooms. So he's just returned. So what? He just said no answer.

He said, how much should that line cost? He says, now in 2016, did I deal with bathroom access? Yes, I passed the bill. But I never lost, never took my eye off the ball on reading scores, math scores, and graduation rates. He's already apologizing. And they continue to rise. He continued.

My attitude is, it's different to be a culture of acceptance, which I'm for, than to be a culture of advocacy. I don't even know what that means. What's like, I don't even know what that means. Yeah. And this is already like a way to kind of apologize for even the bathroom stuff he did. Yeah. You know, but just by like throwing sand in everyone's eyes.

Well, one of the most, one of the most like instructive people, I think, for the Democratic Party trying to reconcile like what the fuck it is going forward is Shannon Watts, the gun control activist. Yeah. Because, um, you can very easily forget that she's a gun control person if you go to her Twitter page. because it's all Hassan and like Israel. And by the way, it's very funny to be like, we need to get these guns out of our schools. Like kids should never fear for their lives. Right.

Yeah. We have to strike Amalak down where they stand. And you're like not even Jewish. It's so weird. But anyway, like, let's take another like 80, 20 issue. And this isn't just like, you know, with Democratic voters. This is like very broadly, if you ran. against the state of private health care in this country.

Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. But that is just the idea that anything can be done. It's like, okay, grow up. Yeah. What are we going to do? What are we going to do? What are we going to do?

What are we going to do advocacy? Yeah. It's not like just a single murder reversed policy on this thing. You know, what could the, what could the power of the state do? But gun control, the thing that's constituted, like, whether you like it or not. It's hard to get around the Second Amendment. It is constitutionally enshrined. Like you can think that's a good idea or bad idea.

Like, obviously, I think we're a little too fucking nuts as a country to handle it. But it is what it is. The Shannon Watts people, when they're not talking about killing Amalak, just take them at their word. The idea of doing anything, any regulation of any private health insurer, any private hospital chain, any of the rampanty, any of the rampanty. price gouging that goes on in any of this. They don't even talk about universal health care. That existing laws can corral. Much less universal health care or nationalizing it.

The government could actually make a motion to do. But seizing the like 700 million guns that are floating around America, that can be gone. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So obviously like that's where I'm Emmanuel who wants like, I can't quite tell whether he wants like a culture of advocacy or not. Yeah.

But, like, okay, it's clear where he stands. And, like, he was basically, you know, he's basically like, we need to, we need to rain in the left. He's, he's, he's, he's, everything old is new again. He's testing out his old theory that, like, running a veteran as a moderate is going to, you know, is going to win the country. A veteran of, like, any army, I guess. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah. It doesn't really matter.

Don't ask what veteran. No, if you want my vote, like, send one, one of those hoofy guys for president. Yeah. Yeah. That's a veteran. I would knock on doors. I would make phone calls. Yeah.

Oh my God. If we had like a, yeah, Hezbollah veteran. Do you know how those Hezbole uniforms? We need, look, we can't impose purity tests on our politics. No. You know what I'm saying? Like, dude, yeah. Look, like, do I agree with, you know, everything, Hezbollah or the IRC or the Houthi's done?

Again, mostly yes. But like, but like, we like, we don't, we can't impose purity tests here. And we can't oppose like, you know, were you born in this country test? Like, have you? Yeah. Look, the point is, we got. got to be a big tent. Yeah.

We got to be a big tent. That tent should be big enough to include people who... Who served in foreign militaries. Including in groups that are... It's good for... It's good for the guys I want to be running this country. Yeah.

Yeah. And by the way, for people who are going to complain about the hootty flag, have you heard about calling people in instead of out? All right. That's one strategy for the Democrats. Pretty good. Here's another one. This is headline.

this courtesy of the bulwark. Dems want hotter candidates. Woo! The debate among Democrats. You should have supported Claire McCaskill when you had the chance. What happened to Gretchen? She's like totally speaking of hot Gretchen

is totally... She's not so gorgeous anymore. She kind of blew it. Yeah. She went to the White House to meet with Trump over something but like hid her face, which like if she didn't do that

and was just like, yeah, I'm the governor of a like big state, it would have been fine. It's meeting with him as a governor. Like, fucking Zoron has, that isn't dating him. Yeah, as a mayor. He's the mayor of a really big city. He has to enter the face of the federal government.

But the fact that she was like trying to have it both ways is just really laughable. I think she just doesn't have the taste for it anymore. Yeah. Like, you know, she got a little bit of anyway. And like if you're hiding your face, it means it's because you're not hot anymore. You're no longer hot. Yeah, yeah. Well, maybe, maybe she had just gotten work done, you know?

She'd had a little downtime. I think she's a good looking gal. Okay. I agree. You actually, you can go back on my timeline seven years ago.

It's like, follow this great gal. I'm actually responsible for her rise. What was the hashtag that used to be about like women follow Wednesday or something? Follow Friday. Follow these wonderful gals.

Women crush Wednesday. Women crush Wednesday. But like intellectual women crush. You know. Well, that was actually about. Search Felix's timeline for hashtag WCW. Yeah. Well, that was actually about crush video.

The debate among Democrats Over how to win back disaffected voters Has touched on virtually every aspect of campaigns, policy, and politics Except one But what if the answer is so primal, so shallow, So inherently biological That to hear it out loud would make you uncomfortably chuckle What is the key to winning was to run more hot people

Oh, I'm chuckling uncomfortable My ass is laughing even though I know I shouldn't What a crazy article. That's so crazy. Look at all the success Republicans have had with Donald Trump. Need I say more? He's America's sexiest man.

Let's think of some of the most successful Republicans of all the time. Dennis Hastert. Mitch McConnell. Oh, Jeffrey Epstein. Jeffrey Epstein. He was a Democrat. Oh, yeah.

He was a Democrat. Yeah. Also, like that. It works on the other side. Like, you know, Ed Bach. Harvey Weinstein. Oh, yeah. By the way, speaking of hot guys,

I did see this. TMZ reporting that Lindsay Graham I was just about to say Lindsay Graham got his word. He's a hot guy. Lindsay Graham is at Disney World right now. Alone.

As you do as a 70 year old man without a wife or a family. Yeah, where else are you going to find some good old pussy? There's a lot of lonely ladies. My reaction was like, this is like when there's like an older single guy

at the playground. Like this is why playgrounds have locks now. It's like, this guy, I just been standing outside. It's a small world for like, you know, half a day. Oh, man. When I first moved to New York, um...

You were trying to meet people? No. I've never tried to meet... I was just a joke. I never tried to meet anyone in my life. Um, they just find me. But, um, I would... Much to your chagrin.

Well, I couldn't, like, afford a gym membership. So I would just go to this park in a store... Thank you, Chopo subscribers. I would go to this, uh, park in Astoria. where I was subletting this woman's living room. And she would like, this woman who would like yell at me for like not hiding my shoes or something. She was like the first Trump voter ever met. She said so many insane things to me.

She was like. Can I imagine you guys actually got on kind of well? We were just talking about how you need a woman to be mean to you. No, I don't. No. I mean, well, not like a 62 year old. But like, she was like, well, I was really hot when I was this age. And she was like, um, you know,

look like one of those people that Liz Taylor played, the Circassians. What? And I was like, thanks. What? But anyway, anyway, I would go to this public park, this like, it was Astoria Park? Yeah, and I would do pull-ups there. And I had to stop after a week because I just felt so weird. Yeah, the moms were looking at you like, I was being gawked at.

Yeah. Yeah, I really didn't like it. You were probably being gawked out as a piece of meat. I think it's just like the men who just hang out and very clearly have no purpose there. Are there guys like that? Are those just pedophiles? Well, yes, and that's why, like, they do have a purpose.

They do have a purpose. The TMZ. Lindsay Graham lives it up at Disney World during the partial government shutdown. I know that's when to be like a thing. The swinging scene is also very big. Our airports are a disaster. Like, there's no more FDA.

Like 10. 10 crews in Mexico as, you know, his state drown. Let Lindsay go to Disney World. I'd rather him be there than doing anything else. That's true. Yeah, that's true. Catherine, I wanted to get your take on this. You know what I mean?

Catherine, like, you're a Disney adult. No, no, no, no. Catherine, like, you go to Disney World every year. No, I don't. No. Catherine was telling us about how she used to be an imaginary. No. But, Catherine, you've been to Disney World more times than anyone else I've known.

I can't believe. I walk into this situation, not knowing I'm going to be docks to hell and back. This is the treatment I deserve. You've been to Disney World, a reasonable. A necessary addendum. My family's all like me. They're all very like dry wits. None of them even like it anymore.

My brother is like 6, 7. He's too tall to go to Disney World? Well, honestly, he's so tall. It's almost a disability. People try to fight Catherine's brother because he's too tall. People sucker punch him in the street all the time. Just like, just so tall. No, like at least once a week.

What? Once a week? Yes. People like perceive his size as just like some kind of existential threat. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. Anyway, neither here nor there. All right, but Catherine, at Disney World?

It's, it happened to Don't Don't Disney. But Catherine, just like, if you could advise. It's an easy, it's an easy vacation. It's an easy premium vacation. I cannot believe this. You should take vacations like my family took, like when we took a road trip over the south, but my dad read the book

Goes to Mississippi before and ruined the vacation for himself. We did not take... And just glared at every 50-year-old flight. And my family also deemed going to Mexico too sketchy. We could see what kind of family you come from. Have you considered visiting white settlement Texas?

Just got out of here. If you had to advise Lindsay, what do you think is the best attraction for Lindsay Graham? Oh my God. Well, first of all, he's saying at the Polynesian. You know, it's right on the monorail. It's no grand Floridian. It's no Grand Floridian. But that is where Nixon stepped down or something. Do you know this story?

The Polynesian, does he do you know this? The Beatles also officially broke up at the Polynesian. I don't know either of these things, but this Lindsey Graham story is making me consider that there must be a cruising scene inside Disney World and Land. Yes, there are. And now I have the phrase, getting goof. rolling around. He delivered his I Am Not a Crook speech at Disney's Contemporary Resort in Disney.

Okay. So he's saying at the Polynesian because it's kind of like an old-timey, like vaguely racist theme. It's right on the monorail. He's definitely a magic kingdom supremacist. Yeah, he doesn't go to Epcot Center. He's not at the world of Pandora. Oh, no, no.

That's globalism. That's globalism. He says that America is going to conquer Epcot Center. Yeah. Yeah, he won't go to Epcot on the World Showcase until there's an Israel Pavilion. That shows how Lib my family is.

We were big Epcot fans. Yeah. Well, you know, you guys are global citizens. Globalists? Yeah. We were a foreign globalist, but yeah, we are. No comment on that, Will? You got nothing on that?

Or what? Me, my family going to Disney. Me calling, actually calling Felix's family globalist. Well, you know, global citizen. We've established, you know. Yeah, what type of family you're from? Okay, all right. All right, so what's the question?

Yeah, Lizzie Graves. Lizzie Graves at Disney World right now. What attracts you do? He's going on all the baby rides. He's going on Peter Pan, even though it's such a rip-off. It's like not even that fun. It's like 75 minutes long. The queue is not very...

It's a long-ass fucking ride. Oh, well, and, you know, everyone knows the better baby ride just across the way is Seven Dorff's Mind Train, which is actually kind of fun, but you're going to want to go to that one first in the morning, even before Space Mountain, because that one really fills up.

And the Peter Pan Q is not very engaging. A lot of it's in the sun, you know. I did hear Lindsey Graham went to the country bear jamboree and approached one of the younger country bears and offered him a job opportunity in the entertainment industry. He was, I love the way you hugged you. The way you play that washboard. Your hips move so magically.

The first girl's, I bet all the girl bears love you. the woohing air sound of the animatronics the dated animatronics movie. He's the first guy to get an STD from an animatronic there. That's so awesome. He's definitely not going on Splash Mountain because it's woke now. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You've heard it when it was Song of the South.

Yeah. Did your family ever fuck with six flags? Oh no, that was low rent. No, my family. Yeah. No, no, no. I didn't, I had to, six flags. I had to do it with my friends. Yeah. Because, like, my family... It was a little, you know, like, teens were running around

and they're, like, unaccompanied, you know, it's just like... It's just, it's not nice. It's not clean. It's not clean. It's not clean. Yeah. We're going to have to trim some. Nope, leave it all then.

Yeah. Well, my family also, you know, it's just the marvel of, you know, kind of like overnight, you know, like, everything is just in its right place when you come back to the Magic Kingdom at 7 a.m. You know, it's like, it's almost like no one's ever been there. It's like a small army of, you know, people has cleaned it all overnight, but you don't have to see any of the fingerprints.

It's like Singapore for Americans. My family would love Singapore if the flight were a little shorter. So I'm... So I'm... So I don't have orange chicken mild side. So when a young, young Catherine was like, can we go to Six Flags?

I'm assuming... I won't say... It's full of criminals. I'm assuming that... Corousing teams. A member of your family was like, oh, and all the... Tweety Bird shirt wearing criminals.

I'm sure they say something like that. Well, well, I feel like, you know, I feel like, okay, this is adjacent. Something I was never allowed to do growing up was like wear like pajama bottoms to school. And I feel like that's actually really good parenting. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like there were a lot of Tweety Bird and like Jack Skellington pajamas that were born to school. And obviously I thought Jack Skellington was too scary.

So I was a good thing. They, oh my God. really didn't realize this is going to be me telling too much about myself. I mean, I, I've heard a lot about my family. Yeah, but it's your podcast. Okay, well, I'll ask you. I can't believe I was. I didn't go to six hours of my family.

I went with, like, other kids' parents or like, I went on a field trip for physics class. Yeah, yeah. That is so awesome when they do that. I was in IP courses. It was the day in which, it was the day in which all of the AP science classes were, like, the tests were being administered. And I was in all like the stupid math and science guy.

They were like, oh, you can just go to six flags today. But like you have to record the time you spend on the roller coasters and like calculate the velocity. And I was like, yeah, we'll be doing that. Yep. Yep. So I went on like, you know, I went on Batman the ride like six times. Did you guys fuck with American Eagle at all? That's one of my favorites ever.

That one's an older one, right? American Eagle, it's an older one. Is that the wood one? It's a wood one. Where your head vibrates back and forth? It's a wood one, but it's backwards. Oh. It's so sick.

I don't know which one I'm thinking of a stand-up wood one where your head vibrates between the rest. No, but I did go to the famous or infamous, I should say, action park in New Jersey. I went there like every summer. And you were not named. Isn't that park like, it's kind of like, um, it's closed now. It's closed now. Yeah. Water slides will set you free.

Yeah. Man search for amusement. That book was written there. It will set your head free from your body. body. That book changed my life. Yeah. Wow.

If this is a water slide. Survival in action park. I was at a great time there. There will be no restiling after action land. I did almost drown in the wave pool, but you know. That was a skill issue. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, it's not a very strong swimmer. Okay. Okay. All right. That's the least I can do in retaliation. the least I can do it. But let me just finish under. The Dems who want hotter candidates.

Okay, right, right, right. This is a shaggy. The idea, the idea that the Democratic Party has a hotness deficit if it needs to address, it needs to address, has come up repeatedly in conversations I've had over the past few months as I've talked to strategists about what the party can do

to improve how it's perceived. Yes, they say, Democrats need to shed litmus tests, put aside purity politics, you know, except for Israel. Yeah, no, obviously. And drop the academic sounding language, but they should,

they would also benefit from simply having more thirst traps on the ticket. More candidates who could make voters swoon. It's easier to elect hot people. America is a superficial nation, and we want our politicians, especially those that are representing us on the international stage

as the number one world power to look, to be hot, to look good, said Yamisi Aguallo, the former Biden White House press office staff, adding that this had become a foundational brunch time conversation among the D.C. Democratic class. I've been saying this for years.

Also, if you're a brunch in D.C. Oof, imagine what that looks like. But like the Republican Party all look like Gargoyle. Yeah, they're all hideous. This is just another way to do backdoor messaging without doing policy. Like, you know, oh, if we just run hotter people, like, again, they're trying to

like have Zoran, but we already have Zoran at home. Yeah. It's, you know, I don't even I don't even think it's that. I just think it's like all these people are so powerfully uninteresting and dull that like one person said this at brunch was like, you know what I think, that we,

hotter candidates and everyone was like that's so funny oh you should tell a report that should be an article you should tweet that yeah but this is this is my theory about why this is all like people talking the gun out of their mouth yeah but this is why I always thought like that was the singular reason why Beto

like took off was like we are so starved for someone hot that people were like wow he's got maddenay idle good looks just because he like doesn't look like a total troglodyte yeah remember when Beto pranked his wife by like putting poop in that salad what that's that's Sparing no quarter.

Wait, I don't remember that. That is no quarter spared for anyone's salad. There was some article about Beto about how he loves playing pranks on his wife. Are you sure that that was the prank? Yeah, he took like poop from their baby and put it in the salad. What?

And it was like, oh, look it's funny. I trust no couple that plays pranks on each other, by the way. Well, I think this was sort of like a one-sided thing. They're no longer together. I think he's sort of like a John Hammond dirty rock. Okay, here it is. This is a Fox News. Okay, Bader O'Rourke tried to prank his wife with baby poop, report says. Democratic presidential candidate Bader O'Rourke attempted to play a practical joke on his wife

by telling her that a turd he plucked from one of their children's diapers was an avocado, a friend of the couple told the Washington Post. You got to get that baby checked out, an avocado? A turd the size of an avocado? Yeah. It's rather hard. Yeah. Isn't baby shit, like, softer than that usually? Yes, it's very soft. Yeah.

Well, maconium is pretty soft, but it's a lot. It has that thing at the core. Maconium is only the first one, isn't it? Why are we talking about this? Neither Beto nor Amy O'Rourke would confirm the baby poop the story, though neither denied it. And the post reported that O'Rourke pulled the paper. It sounded like something he would do.

The O'Rourke's have three children. Ulysses, Molli and Henry. Wait a minute a second, okay. This is really Ulysses and Bali. This is a rep, Bali, boom. Will's jealous that they got there first. Okay, you're right. Yeah.

Another family following the, two normal names and a weird one. Schematic. My family's followers. I wonder if Beto tells his kids like weird stories like my dad. He probably has a bunch of those, right? Oh, yeah.

He's like, the time I fed your mom poop. No, no, that's like, that's like too fun-loving of a story. My dad's stories were like, I'm remembering another. And then he... One time I worked at a hotel, and one of the guys was the first gay man I ever met,

and the other was... And we shared a beautiful weekend. The other man was a very mean, bald man who killed himself later. Do all of your dead stories end in suicide? Oh, yeah. Male suicide? Yeah, like a guy kills himself in all the stories. Wow. They have no point.

There's no point to any of the stories. Oh, my God. I want a hot president, Jennifer Wells of the I've Houted podcast said in an interview last week. I've had it with these ugly presidents. Hot Democrat alert posted Democratic influencer Keith Edwards in response to a video clip of Sam Forstog, a 31-year-old smoke. jumper running for one of Montana's two house seats. What the fuck is a smoke jumper?

The firefighters, you jump out of plane. So if I like forest fires. That's a stupid name. No, that is hot, though. That's a hot thing. Yeah, that's a hot guy. Yeah, I think those guys are show off. If you search John Ossoff's name on X or TikTok,

you'll be met with a number of thirsty posts calling the Georgia Senator a total hobby. John Ossoh. There was just something about him, said the content creator, Condi Natini, who runs what can best he described as a Democratic Thirst trap ex account where she frequently refers to Asoff as Senator Mibu. She's raised thousands of dollars for Democratic candidates through the account and has been invited to the White House and the DNC as part of their content creator programs. We are just gonna keep losing.

We are just, we are just. Just nominate someone who isn't owned by the Zionist lobby, okay? Like just nominate someone who's against war and wants to tax wealthy people and get rid of Silicon Valley. Not happening. Oh, boy. Just every story where like the dead. Democratic efforts are being fun, it makes me... It's so forced.

It just fills me with so much hatred. It makes me, it makes me, like, want to sort of the end of taxi driver for their headquarters. And, like, just all these, like, 26-year-olds, they're sport. And I'm just a... You can do anything you want with Senator John Ossoff. You can come on up, fuck him in the ass, fucking with them out. It's like so hard to make it explode, man. It's just, it's just these people trying to be like mirthful and fucking, it really saw.

And it's like, this all goes back to how there's a certain account that advertise, it pretends they're like a really fun account where I can get all sorts of fun stuff. They're advertising something. They're saying I can get memes about organizing. And they never have them. So it's like you people. aren't fun at all. When I want fun memes, you're telling me like,

you know, you should never use the term Zionist. I'm going to be killed because of you. And it's like, where's the meme? Where's the meme, buddy? Yeah, remember here comes dad boy? Here comes dad Zionist.

And then when I have one of my famous mood swings that everyone knows, loves me for, knows about me, and I'm bursting into your headquarters. and I'm like, let's all kill ourselves. You're like, we just had a bracket of hot senators. And it's like, you guys can just never meet the moment, can you?

You guys just always suck, huh? I'm just going to read, I'm just going to read, I'm just going to read like, it goes on forever in this article, but I just want to read this paragraph. Okay. Even less scandalous discussions of sex appeal and hotness can quickly become awkward,

such as back in 2008. None of these people fuck. when Amber Lee Ettinger became internet famous for lip syncing a music video called I got a crush on Obama. The video of Ettinger...

Oh, but yeah, politics game. You're hot, dude. The video of Ettinger dancing in a bikini singing lines like, never wanted anybody more than I want you, and universal health care reform. It makes me warm.

It was a viral sensation. And the New York Times give me wet. And as the New York Times have served at the time, Ettinger, who became known as Obama Girl, helped crystallize the view

of the view of candidate is a pop culture figure and to some, a sex symbol. That's aged well. She was really fucking hot, though. Probably still is. I wonder what she's up to. Should we get her on the line? Do you think she likes guys who have mood swinging?

Okay. Just close it down here. Who is the hottest person in holding the elected office? Calm down. Calm down. Who holds office? Because, you know, I mean, like, the thing about, oh, we need hotter people associated with the Democratic Party.

That's like a year ago and they were like, we got to have a Joe Rogan to the left. And it's just like, hmm, a hot guy who's sort of like a political influencer popular with young people. Well, you're never, first of all, you're never going to get hotter than Joe Rogan. So just set that aside on its face. Okay, you two go first. Who's the hottest? Just don't overthink it.

Hottest. Man and woman. Man and woman. Okay. Oh, man, that's tough. Hottest man. Um, I, it's like probably O-Soff, right?

Yeah, he's pretty good. He's handsome. Gay. Felix is gay. He said it. He said it. No, I'm not. I don't think like Zon's like like a sex symbol.

But like he's a, he's a handsome guy. Yeah, I think he's, I'm probably giving it to Zoron. Hotest woman. Hottest woman. Hottest woman. Nancy Mace. I mean, like I would say that like as a joke, maybe. I'm not giving it to her.

Yeah. I'm more of a Lauren Bobert kind of guy. Oh. You like those crazy fucking eyes. She's fire. She's hot fire. Like, I know, like, I've already, like, pinned myself in by saying holding elected office. But, like, my honest answer to her would be Dennis Kucinich's wife.

Have you ever seen her? Yeah, but that's, like, cheated. Yeah, I know. I was like, like, hottest guy, you know, Mitt Romney's pretty good-looking. Oh, we're not even considering Dan Crenshaw. He's right there. No, I like guys with two eyes. Like, and J.D. Vance is an ugo.

Yeah, he's. Yeah. What about, what about the hottest woman? Pete Hickside has that really cute blood. The most woman in politics not elected, but like in politics total was Hope Hicks, but she's like not a phone. Oh yeah, which is why she got out. What is she up to now? Oh, you know what?

Not responding to my mess. You know what? And I feel terrible saying this. She was a real florin model. Because she is basically like Ava Braun, but like, Pam Bondi. Oh, Will. She's like, what the hell? No.

No. No. Well, she's got less Maralago face than like, like, you know. Oh, you know who is hot? Anna Polina. That crazy. lady. Okay. She's pretty hot. We shouldn't have ended on this. No. This has turned me off greatly.

Well, you asked. Oh, I asked. I know. No, I asked. We both asked. So, um, what races? Does your family... All right, let's have this episode. Does your family allow to be in a theme park? I'm just kidding. All right, that's all right. That's for today's episode. Everybody hope to see you on Friday in LA at our 10th anniversary show. Do you have any business in that, Chris? No, that show's sold out. I don't know. All right. We have to messengers it.

Everyone's fucking chance. Let's work together with David Kelly, get those Dragon Balls, bring Andrew Dorkin back. All right. They're not making plenty of prowlers anymore, but they are making slingshots, and Andrea would have loved those.

Until next time, everybody. Bye-bye. Bye.