Chapo Trap House - 1031 - Holding Out for a Hero feat. Hasan Piker (4/27/26)

Episode Date: April 27, 2026

Streamer and international man of controversy Hasan Piker joins us to recap and analyze Saturday’s assassination attempt at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. We talk about the radical-centrist shooter, the diverse cast of assassins we’ve met since that fateful day in Butler, and the cast of Chapo all-stars at the dinner itself. Plus: more talk about the media blitz against Hasan, and reading series from the Wall Street Journal and Dylan Byers. Our 10 year anniversary merch is ready for pre-order through April 30! Order at https://chapotraphouse.store/

Let's get into it. Gentlemen, I got to begin the show by asking a question that's been sort of plaguing me since Saturday night. And this is genuinely a hard question to answer. Because I don't know what the correct. I don't know what's more correct. It's like this. What is the funnier slash more likely reason? And like two options here.

One, a diverse coalition of shooters keeps trying to kill Donald. Trump. That he is like the most like attempted assassinated person in American history. Yeah. Like every day of his life is like that's seen in the movie The Jerk. Where they guys and it was going to go. Someone shooting these cans. Yeah.

Yeah. Fuck you particular. He just, he picks him out of the phone book every day. So like yeah, like what is more likely or more funny? And like the likely and funny is the same thing here. That people, random people just keep trying to kill Donald Trump. or they keep pretending to have people kill Donald Trump to do several Reichstag fire incidents

so that he can build a gay-ass ballroom. Increasingly smaller level interest thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna get out of this. No, it's like, if that's true, and they keep trying to, like, oh, oh, like, we're facing political problems, better find some crash out

to fucking try to shoot Donald Trump. You're exactly right. They get less and less frightening. this is literally Felix being like I'm going to kill myself over minor inconveniences instead just like more elaborate because you're the president yeah you get to do that when you're the president it's cool there's like a whole team dedicated to it man I fantasized about being the president all the time and that is something I would do like if it's like I have to meet with the country that just I don't like talking to them I would I would give the signal

to whoever does false flags it'd be like Maybe I'll lean into the bullet this time. Maybe I'll switch out the gun. We're hiring the killers from wanted so that they can bend the bullet through my head at the White House correspondent's dinner. But it is true, though, like the diminishing interest. The first time, it's like, it's fucking everywhere. It's on the side of the car that Aidan Ross gave him that immediately got cubed.

That thing immediately got crushed into a cube. Like that that no car has had a shorter lifespan. It's so funny you give the president a car. You give the president a car after like for him probably one of the worst moments of his fucking life. He also gave him a Rolex if you guys remember and I was watching live and I was like that's illegal. And what's funnier is first everyone got mad. I mean they were like, you're so stupidest on you don't know anything. I was like no, that's like that's an FEC violation.

Like that's way more than the max out contribution that you're giving to a person running for president. And then it was an FEC violation. He had done this very publicly. So then the FEC demanded that he return it. The president returned it. And he got so mad. And Aiden Ross thought I was the reason for why the FEC learned about this. And not because he did this in front of 500,000 people in front of the former president.

And that's when he called. out a cryptocurrency bounty on me. One million dollars he was offering to anyone that can find any dirt on me. He was like, you know, just lie about him. It doesn't matter. He was like, that's also a thing that's illegal. Yeah. Protocols of the dunces of Zion.

He said, he said, I hope to God you're a, you're a sex offender, bro. That's what you said. Yo, shout out, like respect to any of the woman. that got raped or killed, but it's worth it. I just like, I, I, um,

I love that because I, I remember this. I remember that he, he was exactly like, uh, those guys who like go on Vlad TV and are like, yeah, I like shot this guy in the head,

uh, two years ago at this exact address. Here's like the metadata from my phone that proves that I did it. And then of course they get arrested and they're like, yeah, DJ Vlad like fucking told him like to him. He said that was like, um,

uh, Degression, but this is like Jay Johnson's wife just called out Tim Hideker for snitching on her husband for being at January 6th. And it's just like, well, if you've like been on TV and you're like there. That was like the first thing anyone noticed. Yeah, is that the guy from Mr. Scho? Is that the herky jerky guy from Mr. Show? Is that the story of Everest guy? So yeah, the first assassination, you know, the fight thing, let me take my shoes.

It's everywhere. Like it's on fucking T-shirts. It's on the side of the Aiden Rose car. It's everywhere. It's this huge thing. It was, I think, like, the combination of Biden's horrible debate performance in light of that, in light of how much he nailed his assassination attempt, whatever it was. Yeah.

That was, like, probably that forced him to drop out more than maybe anything. But then it was, like, the guy who had the side bangs, the Ukraine guy. That went nowhere. Everyone's favorite. I like that guy Ryan Ruth I love so much He was the guy who was posted up in the golf course Right?

Yeah yeah yeah We still we still talk about how he had 1,000 NATO trains African truth Like he was he was a go-getter A lot of people A lot of people will hate on me for saying this But like he he wanted to

He wanted to save Ukraine He was the only man ready to save Ukraine No he was more like Like all those people who were like Oh I'm like I'm burning all the copies of Tolst at my university's library. It's like, no, you're bullshit.

Ryan Ruth, at least, like, he missed, like, all these guys, but, like, he tried something. So did the Secret Service, to be fair. Yeah. They shot at him famously six times, not a single one hit. It really, yeah, what the hell is going? It reminds me of, you ever see the movie The Great Escape? Oh, of course.

When he's, like, he's, like, pulling away, and you're like, why can't they hit him? Same deal. Are these guys from the Ostbergates? Because they, real. all these guys, I mean, the shooters and the Sacred Service, but, and now this guy, this is like fucking nothing. More people,

more people, I'm not even a sports fan. I'm more aware of the guy who got cock-holded by Megan the Stallion. Clay Thompson. I'm more aware of the details there and like the food gore that he made him. Well, I mean, like

Splash Brothers era, Clay Thompson, he would not have missed at this White House correspondent center. But current Dallas Mavericks or Clay Thompson, I'm not so sure. I know more about that. I've never watched any stick and balls before. I never watch basketball, but I can name individual disgusting meals

that she made Clay Thompson. That's crazy. Flag on the play there. That's disrespect on Megan. Those meals are good to me? What are you doing? I would eat those meals happily. Megan, if you're watching,

she's a chopo. She's a fan. Yeah, she's a fan. Megan, if you're listening, I'm so sorry about what Felix Biederman said. I would love to eat. the red sauce chicken thing that you made

it looked delicious the chicken thing it was a nice spaghetti and some spaghetti and red sauce what's wrong with that what's wrong with that what's a good bill

I was look I'm gonna get a earful about this because she is a listening right she was actually she was actually watching me play ready or not at my place last night

we didn't do anything okay like we're just friends and we actually didn't even talk to each other. She just wordlessly entered my apartment. She didn't even take a seat because I didn't offer her one. And watch me play through the New America DLC. And then she left.

But before she left, she did say that you're a campist, Hassan. What is a campus? It's like someone who likes water skiing and archery and stuff. Yeah, someone who went to Interlachland. Yeah, she reads Eric Levitts. Yeah, yeah. She's a Vox.com article head as well

as a choppo head. Well, look. It takes all kinds. To officially start the show, it's Monday, April 27th. We're here with, Felix and I are here with, of course, the hardest working man in the content business, Asan Piker. And really, like, the perfect person to be talking to after Saturday night,

which is, like, Saturday night was a thing that proved to me that, like, there's still some juice in the simulation. Because, man, oh, man, that was funny. It really, yeah. There was some real juice in that. And I guess, like, to be here on Monday with Asan, I think, like, the headline for me is, like, I've spent the last two weeks seeing your name associated with every condemnation of theoretical political violence.

Yeah. You're a cancer that's metastasized. Democrats must shun you. You know, like, you want the streets to run bread with the blood of your political opponents. And like, honestly, at the end of the day, I got to say, you might be a grifter. Because these MSNBC blue sky lives, they got shooters out here, bro. Yeah. They got, they got, they got.

No, I'm a bitch. Yeah. I feel like, this is like, look, I don't think. think we can bestow the title of liberal driller on this guy because like he didn't drill anybody. No, no. It's the thought that counts. No, yeah, yeah. It's the thought that counts. It's like NBA young boy. Same thing where he fired like, he emptied that entire

mag and like missed everyone. And so they had him up on nine counts of attempted murder. Same thing, but it's still like, well, he tried to do it. He tried to. He still got in trouble for it. Unful, skill demonstrated on that CCTV footage. I was looking at it like, damn, this guy was a stamelord instead. He should have an athlete. That boy booked it. It was crazy. That is, I think it's so

fucking amazing. Like the actual footage they leave out. Like they show it's like Pete Higgs have sauntering around like looking for his jaws grinding. Yeah, look like the whole. God damn it always falls off the ring. They show like the Secret Service agents.

Stephen Miller doing the dead zone with his pregnant wife. Yeah. Stephen Miller he like gave her a purple nirple while they were fucking what the what are you trying to do there uh the the secret service agents i'm not going to let date night get ruined no the secret service agents they remind me of that uh james post that great james post where it's he's like me if i were a basketball coach go go go go go they were doing that but the thing they didn't show the thing they're trying to suppress is the fact that like you can just you know how like everyone has these fantasies oh if i was terminally ill i would um

I'd finally kill that podcast host that is beaming messages to my brain I'd finally kill that pharmacy you know the real people in power who are ruining your life I'd kill that bus driver but no one ever does it but in those fantasies you imagine

oh I would just bull I would just run in and they wouldn't know how to deal with me I'll run in I'll pull up my gun bam bam bam this guy just did that he did just fucking like Eric Dickerson just

and it was like they don't have a plan for that I feel like even during like even during fucking W they would have been like okay the first thing we want to do is to make sure a guy can't just fucking kick in the door and sprint at the president

he tried to do the John Malcovich in the line of fire thing but like skip like nine or 10 other stuff and like did you read it like his manifesto where he was like talking about staking out the hotel and he was like the arrogance like I'm walking around this hotel room with several, his hotel lobby with like several guns on me like

I was like well yeah but like the night that the president is going to be there. It's going to be quite a bit more security, I imagine. But, like, no. Yeah. You can just do that? You can just do things. Also, another aspect I loved about his manifesto is that he opened up with, Hello, everybody. Yeah, yeah. So I'm about to do a thing. Yeah, you cannot be talking down to phelennial, like, Reddit speak right now, okay?

None of our boys have done anything, okay? These are, this is the, centrism, the radical centristism, the wrath of radical MSNBC liberals, the wrath of Will Stancel. I mean, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I saw it up right now. Wait, wait, wait, we can rest on

laurels of the one Bernie bro shooter who, like, again, didn't kill anyone, he didn't successfully kill anyone, but he did like shoot Steve Scalise's dick off. That's true. That guy was pretty the congressional baseball show. Yeah, that guy, you know, he at least like

he at least blew his shit off. So, you know, rest of peace to him. Spencer was like, he gave me like the sort of like political rundown of all the recent, like, aspiring or would be or successful shooters. You got like in Thomas Crook's sort of an apolitical fan of violence. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Luigi, you have someone who's like sort of like pseudo-libertarian. Oh, Patrick Bet David fan.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he wrote him a letter from prison. Really? Did you guys know this? No, I didn't know that. Manjione wrote Patrick Bade David a letter from prison, which was, I think, the biggest oral loss anyone has ever had, which is part of the reason why I don't think most people covered it, because they were like, yeah, whatever, it's fine. We're not going to, we're not going

to talk about this. Would you say that about the letter from Birmingham jail? Which was also addressed to Patrick B. David? Yes. If Martin Luther King Jr. was writing about the white moderate from Birmingham jail to the equivalent. Who would be? the Patrick Bet David equivalent at the time. Have you read the Academy? Yeah, yeah. We got a fake Bet, Dave, we got a fake Valuetainment fan over here. Patrick Met David

has discovered time travel. Yeah. The Patrick Bet David you see on Valuetatement is the Patrick Bet David hologram. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. That's why he's so handsome. I find him so, I find him so hot. I love him. I didn't know.

I need to read that letter, though. For me, that adds to his aura. That is, it is just so funny to be like, because you know if you had talked to him like four or five years ago, he's like, yeah, you know, I'm liberal and something conservative on others. I just

think there's too much polarization. But he got out there and like Agent 47. It's just no, there's something there's something so similar in a lot of these, in a lot of these shootings. Like when you look at the background,

uh, between Luigi Mangione, and the new liberal driller. They're both stem lords. They both wrote extensively about how they wanted to minimize the damage to other people as well. Oh, yeah, it's like, it's a very utilitarianism. Yeah, they're like, erm actuallying their way out of like why they're doing this. Yeah.

Why they're engaging in this. And then obviously there's a lot of similarities between this last guy and, you know, my favorite Ryan Ruth, being pro-NATLantis' liberals who were like very mad at J.D. Vance and Donald Trump for refusing to fund the Ukrainian defense effort. So it's clear to me, for one reason or another, I don't know what it is. I'm trying to figure it out that there is definitely a lot of people who are what you would consider to be like normal American politics understanders who are doing, I guess, the normal American thing, which is ultraviolence, like taking matters into your own hand. In a way that is actually unique to what normally happens, which is, as Felix pointed out,

shooting up your school or, you know, murdering whatever female figure you have in your life. Yeah, yeah, you know, and it is, we had a rash of those, you know, ever since like the, I mean, there were ones like this before, but I feel like the Lane Bryant shooting was like the kickoff of that in the modern era of like everything in your life goes to shit and you're like, I know who I'm going to kill the people nearest to me.

But, you know, these specific guys, I think that's a great point about how they, there's always like this utilitarian utilitarianist point about how it's saving more lives and stuff. you compare to like the equivalent like right wing attempted equivalence of this or even the ones that succeeded

there is like a weird like Mishima like artistic bullshit thing right right like the guy who blew up his Tesla in front of the yeah yeah that was like you know if he's in the afterlife and people were like what point were you trying to make what were you trying to do and he's like I don't explain my art

it's not for you and little on this earth is I felt like Batman and Haley Yeah. That's why I did it. But these guys... That is the modern Mishima equivalent for America, though, because, like, we are a nation of illiterates for the most part.

Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, we got the... An apolitical pro-violence furry. A sort of libertarian, effective altruist. Tyler Robinson, left curious girlfriend defender who has now ruined his girlfriend's life. Yeah.

Pretty conclusively. Well, no, hold on. We have to go along with the... Shout out to... All the accounts that are, like, I don't know who's responsible for this. Maybe Brooklyn Dad Defiant, big fan of his, even though due to some website error, I can't follow him. But only 22% of Americans think that the Charlie Kirk Shooter was like a lefty guy. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Like, yo, we're back. Okay, we're back. That's not Brooklyn Dad Defiant, though. That's Candace Owens. Yeah. You got to, like, what Candice Owens did to discourse, in my opinion, was a spectacular gift in many respects.

I think, you know, would the Bulls have won a three people without Scotty Pipp? Perhaps not. Because, like, it's mutually assured destruction. I think it's important to, you know, give respect to Candace Owens here a little bit. And also Brooklyn Dad Defiant, don't worry. I'm honoring the goats on our side as well. I cover disinformation in the aftermath of breaking news and incidents for the past decade or so, right? And one thing that I think became very commonplace and definitely increased in frequency and intensity was the idea that no matter where an incident was taking place,

every Republican would try to be first to market to claim it was a transgender person or Antifa, you know, radical left violence and the like. And now they're getting a taste of their own medicine. And it's been fantastic to watch because now you got people like Matt Walsh crying on the timeline being like, what is this? You guys are doing disinformation. Like I'm giving you eight Pinocchio's for saying that the president tried to get himself killed for the ballroom. How stupid. And it's like, oh, yeah, no, enjoy that. Like, you served yourself this shit sandwich.

It would be easier to claim that it's ridiculous that Trump. to like foment an assassination to get his quote beautiful top secret military style ballroom the way he kept saying the military has wanted this ballroom for years but this is why we have to have the ballroom the fact that like every single right wing account

tweeted instantaneously this is why we need the ballroom Megan McCain yeah it's like yeah if anyone makes one of the ballroom again I like miss me with that it's just like has no one ever done you not understand the inherent

comedic how fertile the comedic ground is for the president to be like almost assassinated and then for him to instantly start talking about his fucking the grand opulent ballroom and what I love about that is he wants to turn the White House into Mar-a-Lago. And this is like I find this relatable. He wants to have a place to party that is right next to like where his bed is. Oh no yeah. And like that's that's the dream right. Yeah. I mean even okay out of anyone in the world the president of the United States probably has the best airplane experience, right? Like there's no TSA.

You just, you get driven right there. They probably, when the cameras aren't on, they probably even have like a secret like conveyor belt that just hoist it. He doesn't even have to walk upstairs or like a big suction tube. They just suck him up into there. No stairs. No, that was a Biden innovation. He's doing it too.

None of the humiliation, none of that bad airport feeling that, fucking weird dehydrated feeling in the back of your neck. None of that, none of that. Oh, are they going to notice if I put a pouch in, blah, blah, blah. But it still sucks. It fucking sucks to fly. Even if you're on Air Force One, even if you can, you, the president, you can go to the go to the gooning room in Air Force One.

You can do your ketamine in front of everyone there. It doesn't, it still sucks. Even, you know, and what, D.C. to Florida, what is that? Like two, two and a half hours? Yeah. Back. I agree. Like, it would be much better to just walk five minutes.

I would sacrifice, I think, 80% of the people that live in my building, if, like, you know, I had a balcony I could smoke on it. You know, so I get it, definitely. Speaking of a travel preferences, before the manifesto came out and we were like little drips are coming in about who the shooter was, when I found out that he took a train from California to do. I was like, what are the chances he's a, listener? We're the chances

he's a fan. Yeah. No, that's what I'm saying. We're, we're motionless. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. We're fucking motionless. Yeah. Like our, one of our, the only thing one of our guys is going to do now is like, oh,

they'll do one of those things where they try to climb a skyscraper and fail and need the fire department to get them. And they're like, oh, I was doing it to raise awareness of Medicare for all. Yeah. Yeah. No.

And now we have, now we have a blue sky shooter. And another detail I really enjoyed about this is apparently like an inciting incident to this event was that he was genuinely outraged and disgusted by Trump portraying himself as Jesus Christ in an AI generated image. Oh, is he one of these liberal Christians? Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. I kind of, those guys are like, they're always corny, but I like that. I kind of like them.

And like, they looked at it like his blue sky interactions. It's like Will Stansel, Jamel, Jewel, Bui, David Frum, Bill Crystal. Yeah. You know, and they found his old Twitter profile, too. It's like, same. And David Frum is a guy who's been going at you for weeks now about the violence you're injecting into the system And I can't say like

I don't know He was going at me He was on the train I looked at his blue sky account Immediately he was on the train Going from California and Chicago Plotting out how he's going to assassinate The Cabinet

Re fucking tweeting Or whatever they do on Blue Sky A post about how I was actually a grifter because I was demonstrating antisocial disorder behavior for advocating for what the New York Times was fucking calling micro-eluding, which I wasn't even doing, ironically enough. But he was like, yeah, this guy's actually, I guess in his mind he was thinking, wow, what an undisciplined socialist grifter. He's like, I'm about to assassinate the president, motherfucker. None of this like little stealing a loaf of bread from Holbu's shit. Yeah, that was like Mao going off on adventurous.

Yeah, I don't like to, you know, I don't like to, you know, talk out of class, talk out of school, whatever the phrase is. But like, Jamel Bowie has been trying to, he sneaks into my bedroom at night and tries to whisper messages to me to me inciting me to kill. Like son of Sam's dog. and I really think he needs to be stopped. He gives me serial reviews through my cat. Yeah. I mean, just all those guys, except for Will Stancel, they are all stochastic terrorists.

Well, I mean, because of that, I would like to use this opportunity on the mic right here now to settle all accounts with Will Stancel. Will, you were the correct will, you were the leader of the Council of Wills, because if I don't say this, Stancel's shooters are going to do me like Denzel at the end of training day.

Blah, blah, blah, brad. Oh, my God. I would be so, I would be so fucking pissed off if Stansell sends a hit team after you. And it maims you, but you survive. And it just, we have to do the show where you're using like a soundboard. Yeah. Oh, God, I would be so mad at him. But I wouldn't even say anything.

I would be like, thank you for letting him live. Yeah. And like, I guess like that I'm a little annoyed. I have not been on blue sky, but like, from what I've seen, none of the Democrats, none of the libs are trying to claim this guy.

None of them are standing on business for like one of their boys. And like, I posted this the other night, but like, you know, Jay Johnson, January 6th,

like, Trump incited an army of, like, pedophile goons to, like, invade the Capitol building to try to invalidate an election. And then when he became president, he parted all of them

and, like, Felix's view said, half of them got out of prison and, like, first day out, the feds went immediately to a grade school and like with their dick out. Like everyone was making fun of Poochistee.

Pushiasty waited six months and that was at least like that was related to like a contract there was like a monetary gain there was like a pre like that it's I think it was stupid. E1 did that to me in LA Charles Austin like

before you came to the show Charles Austin Andrew and Branson helped me at gunpoint to get out of the contract that we have with them. Oh no. I got to return that boat. but but um it's not the january six guys they like they were on the bus that they take that they drive you away uh from prison with and we're like could you stop at this daycare and pass me my gun and my vasseline like all the guys that he pardoned including my favorite incident uh the guy who's claiming that all of the cp that the feds found in his house is invalidated because they were there searching it because of january six which he'd been pardoned for all to like that the pardon covers all of the CP that he had on his hard drive. All-time great legal theorist. What a genius.

So like where, when, which of the Dem 2028 hopefuls is going to be brave enough to promise a full pardon for this guy when they're going to, because like, here's a deal. Elisa Slotkin. Okay. Slotkin, by the way, we were talking about what is the bastard

name for, you know, people from Nevada because of that one senator. That's Slotkin. Oh, so there you go. That's awesome. That's so cool. Yeah. And it's like at the end of the day, like, you know, he didn't kill anyone.

He just tried to. You know? Yeah. Like he, and he seems by all accounts, like a normal, normal decent guy, you know?

Like, did what he did, is it really that wrong? You know, if we're going to pardon everyone who did January 6th, like, come on,

Democrats, like, get with the program. Look, the most effective force against the Republican Party in the world, the IRC.

Yes. They, realized like you know you got to control the fucking ladder of escalation and this democrat stuff where you're like we're going to take four years to do a preliminary hearing about whether there will be a trial that goes nowhere no it's like if you want to control the ladder of escalation you have to be like okay we're cloning thomas crooks to bring him back because we're bringing him back and we want to make him postmaster general we need we need to put we need to have an underground

missile silo full of Thomas Crooks. Yeah. Yeah. You get it like Ryan Ruth. Ryan Ruth's the new ambassador to Ukraine. Like you've got to do all the Trump stuff, but like bigger, better.

Like you fucking, we're making Brooklyn Dead defiant. He's going to the space station. He's going to become the first guy to like dot at Donald Trump from space. And I really like it like the reactions to this. As far as assassination attempts go, like, let's be honest, Trump's life was in no danger. No, he was like, he knew it too.

Yeah, like he didn't. Yeah, he was bored as fuck. And like his comments after, like, first of all, I was watching the Nuggets Wolves games. And by the way, another amazing detail in this assassination attempt is that Aaron Rupar, this was another night in which he chose to do something other than recap the news on Twitter.

Who does that remind you of? The only man who can't remember where he was that they know that. George H. W. Bush. Aaron Rupar is the new pop, like he is. Talk about someone I'm afraid of now. So the, the Pennsylvania one, I always thought this was very sweet to me.

Aaron was taking his mother to an Earthwind and Fire concert that night. Oh, that's a humanizing moment. And Saturday night, he was at NBA playoff game. I think he was at the Knicks Hawks game, which must have been the game that he was attending because that's when like this shit went down. Yeah, that's when Ben Stiller gave the activation word.

Felix, did you see that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he was like, got it done. The Knicks won, beat the Hawks. And Nancy Mace was like, got what, done? And it's like, well, okay, if that's what you think,

he did not get it done. Like, that's not what you would say after a failed assassination. Unless Ben is also in the pocket of the ballroom. He's like, got it done, Mr. President. The ballroom is secured. Yeah, no, yeah. The ballroom is part of something like complex.

It's like, a town. Like there's going to be a tax break for the meet the Fawkers franchise. Well, I believe as far as the ballroom go, like a judge did rule that they couldn't get the funding for it without Congress unless there was a national security reason for it. I hate that judge. Oh, I'm so mad. And it's just like, well, lo and behold, now he's like, we can't have parties anymore unless it's the secret military, unless it's the military ballroom. And he kept saying that the military has wanted this ballroom. It's like, dude, you are losing a war badly right now. And you're talking about how the military does.

desperately needs a fancy ballroom next to the White House. You can host gala events at. He came out, and one of the first things he said on the White House, like, in the press thing that he did afterwards, was every single president has wanted a ballroom. The other thing he said that I love, so like Aaron Rupar, I was watching the NBA playoffs. And then it's like the fourth quarter of the Wolves Nuggets game.

And then, of course, like, ABC or NBC breaks to, like, his press conference. And there's like eight minutes left in the fourth quarter. I'm like, go back to the game. This asshole's still alive. There's no news here. But he was, he was spitting. He compared himself to Lincoln. Yeah.

And he said, of assassins, he said, they only go after the big names. Like Gerald Ford? Yeah. Someone tried to kill Gerald Ford twice in the span of like two weeks. Yeah. Like, come on, buddy. James Garfield, William McKinley. McKinley was, like, McKinley.

Like, McKinley, historical villain. He did, he did a lot. He did a lot of bad. stuff. He was a big name during his time. He sort of fell off, but like, I'm sort of, I'm, I've been, like, posting McKinley edits. Right. Being like,

let's give this man his flowers. But, um, every military job posting you see now, right, is like, listen, only like four guys have died, but we need to hire approximately 3,000 people

whose specialization is cremation at sea for no reason. We don't need them for no reason. No reason at all. No reason at all. If you are good at removing shrapnel from people's foreheads, we could use you there. And he's talking about the fucking ballroom. But like, I mean, when I think about back when our military would win, all the greatest militaries of all time,

Friedickville Helm would want a ballroom. That's true. Patton, ballroom. McArthur, definitely a ballroom. Yeah. If you told MacArthur he couldn't, like, do a fancy dance with his mother, he would freak out on you. So, I mean, I don't think any of our losers, like, Raisin Kane, he, he, no one ever dressed him up like a girl.

He's never, he's not one of the, but we might have one guy in there who has the spirit of Friedrichville home. Yeah. Is into all that. I do want to read, this is one of my favorite, like, sort of instant reaction to, this. This comes courtesy of the Wall Street Journal and this is an editorial titled Trump Stans Tall Under Fire by Faith Bottom.

Okay, lady. The fucking the boy's ass name. It says Donald Trump looked presidential on Saturday night. He was calm and in charge. He genuinely praised members of the Secret Service and he called for the White House Correspondent Center to be quickly rescheduled.

He proved again that he is at his best when faced with physical danger. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So like, I, I know, I know his approval rating has been sinking like a rock, you know, like, he's deeply unpopular. Just need to keep him in a situation of immediate physical danger all the time so that he can look presidential and maybe like, you know, gas prices will come down. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I also just like, it's one of these things where it's like, okay, like anything short of like him literally doing the thing for the dead zone.

They're like, he's so fucking cool. He's so tough. If the president was the ultimate target of the gunman, the gunman at the Washington-Tilton. By the way, Washington, that's the same place Reagan got shot by John Higgins. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and also another mentalist was on the scene. Oz the mentalist. I'm just saying, he was right there.

Hassan, Oz the mentalist. Felix, I don't know, you don't follow stick in ball sports. So if you follow the NFL, basically like, ESCN does this all the time. Oz the mentalist is an Israeli-American. who does sort of like, he goes to like NFL like meeting rooms and like the coach will bring him in and he'll do his like mentalist tricks

on like, you know, Justin Jefferson or something. And he'll like, tell, he'll give him like what your ATM password is or like literally what you're thinking about like a week ago when you said like, oh, this is my favorite anime. I've been convinced for a while

that Oz mentalist does all these mentalist tricks through Mossad style surveillance. Oh yeah, you didn't age 200. You want 100% yes. And I was just like, Okay, he was performing a magic trick for Donald and Melania when the Secret Service swooped in and I was like, didn't see this one coming. Yeah. Yeah. Or, or. Or he did. He really, he was like. He turned to the president said, Mr. President, your ballroom is ready. That's what he said. Or if the gunman like just fucking splattered him, like blew his brains out, he turns to Melania. She's like, how did you know what I was thinking a week ago? Your wish is my command.

No, but like there was also another funny thing that happened with Barack Ravid. Barak Unit 8200 Ravid. He posted the, you know, assassination. With the Israeli flag? Yeah. I was like, this is, they're just giving free ball for everybody. They just got something for everybody out there. Because like people already do the thing where, you know, if you're, if you're anti-Israel, you

immediately go, oh, they googled the name Cole Allen in Israel, like right before or whatever. It's like, probably, it's like a search engine bug or something. Yeah. There's not enough like data for them to actually track that. Um, so they always do that. But liberals, liberals, liberals do not believe this at all. Yeah, no. Like when I was, when I was in Ireland, um, I was shocked to find out that everyone came up

to me and said the Butler Pennsylvania assassination is fake. Yeah. Like that's a. universally everyone outside of America was like oh he staged that right yeah which i don't even know how they could do that logistically and i don't believe in cash betel's competence at all um so cash wasn't in charge of that that was before oh you're right that was during the election that was a much more competence Chris ray yeah i gotta be honest to sound like at the at the time butler pennsylvania happened i was just like well obviously and like he's gonna now win the presidency

on roller skates like this is going to be a fucking he's going to glide into the white house in the intervening year or year and a half. Like, I'm starting to come around. They're like, there's something with it. It's a bit odd. Like, I'm not going to take like a strong position on this one way or another. But, like, it doesn't seem like Donald Trump's ear was shot. No, it really does.

100%. Yeah. Objectively. Like, because AR 15 bullet, like, grazing his ear would have still, like, no splash damage. Yeah. Like, come on. And it is crazy that he just killed some random guy in the crowd. He, like, if that hit his ear, he has regenerating health, like a cod.

Wolfran. Like a Todd protagonist. But he, you know, my theory, this is Matt Walsh's thing, right? Where he goes, oh, that's so convenient. They got this liberal guy to, like, go along with it. And it's like, okay, you idiot. Let's look at the timeline, the literal timeline. What started around the same time as these assassination attempts, quote unquote, started?

The social media service threads. Have you ever opened threads? No, I never have. Sometimes I see it because it shows up on my Instagram feed. Yeah. It's terrible. I have threads installed on my phone. I don't post there.

But I open it up every two months because I like to see what they're blasting people with. And every time it is like horrifying psychic warfare. I get like the first four posts I already see, they're all people I've never followed, never talked to have no idea who they are. And it'll be one that's like, I'm so ashamed of what I've done. My grandmother would be disgusted in me. Next post. Ron has passed.

Next post. My son has been taking pictures of his classmates' shoes. What do I do? And it's like I don't know why they're showing it. It's not like Twitter where it's like, oh, you follow this. It's just, it is pure psychic warfare, named after the most disturbing movie of all time, very aptly. and I think that for you know strong-minded people like myself

we're sort of like solid snake psychomantis can try to you know make us kill the closest woman next to us we won't do it we're not going to do it our hearts too good we're too strong or other other people among you out there you're like the DARPA chief you have implants

they can't go into your brain but big dumb-dums like Thomas Crooks he's susceptible to the psychic damage of three if anyone is a thread's user. It's any of these guys who try to do it. Yeah. And they went on there, they got blasted with the

same psychic warfare. It was like the stuff that Will Ferrell is doing to fucking Ben Stiller in Zoolander. Every day, they go on there every day at their job at the mound making plant. Their job is just to, you know, dig dirt and throw it into a pile.

And they open up threads and they just get hit with this battery of stuff, you know? and it's all predictive programming and suggestion and probably employing Oz the mentalist. Yes. He's probably a consultant for threats. And then there's like a trigger. The trigger is probably the Forgiato Blow song White Nward. And then they're like, oh my God, I've got to kill the president.

But also never practice how to shoot my gun, you know. Did you see Fosciato Blow commenting on the shoot? And he was like, hey, attention to CNN. That is not a white man. And it's like, if you looked in the bureau lately, Posiano, like, I don't even know what he is.

What is he? He's white. Well, I mean, if you heard the song? I have not heard the song. It's not racially ambiguous N-word. We're not claiming him. I am. He's actually exactly what I am.

The one thing I wanted to say, though, the reason why I brought up the whole like liberals don't believe it is because C-SPAN has callers. Yeah. Okay. Oh, I saw. Yeah, I saw it. That was awesome. Immediately after the, the so-called shooting, alleged shooting, whatever you want to

fucking call it took place. C-SPAN had callers. And they were all like, it's fake. It's fake. He's trying to do this for the ballroom. I don't think people on Twitter that are doing discourse understand where liberals are. Yeah. I don't think they understand this thing.

I try to explain. this to people. I go to these like no king's rallies just like Alan Cole Cole Allen whatever his name is. David Allen Co. Yeah. Just like he did. Okay. And I talk to these people and I hear from like 75 year olds who are expressing tremendous anger at the way things are going.

And they don't even fuck with the Democrats either. They're like they'll maybe reluctantly vote for them but they're like mad right. And they want changes and they want it now. A lot of people that are supposed to be you know, they're supposed to have their ear to the ground that understand, you know, the real working class and where they're at, cannot comprehend where most Americans are. They're conspiratorial.

They're very angry. They think everyone that tries to kill Donald Trump is in on a grand conspiracy. They hate Israel, right? And these guys just like, they don't get it. Like most people that are in mainstream media, they do not understand this at all. Yeah, no, no, no. Like the average fucking, like, the average dem, you know, I have a great line. on, uh, line to this, uh, this type of American. I grew up one of the most lived out neighborhoods.

I put Hyde Park above the upper west side. I mean, they're neck and neck. They're neck and neck. They're necking. Uh, but I would say that the average, uh, lived up American, they are now, like, if you talk to one, like, it is a coin flip, probably better than coin flip odds, that they are like an aOR head. They're into the axis of resistance. Yeah. Like, they're, Dude, they're, they're, they're going to release my episode of, uh, love it or John or whatever the fuck that is his show is called. I mean, we're there already, Felix. I, I kind of, I mean, I did a 45 minute explainer on why Hamas has a right to resist against Israel and why it's a thousand times better than Israel. And every single person that was in the, in the comments, and they were not my fans, they were like, I've never heard of this guy. I'm a 65-year-old teacher in Oklahoma,

and I really like what Asana is saying. They're there. Yep. When I did my taping, there was a guy in the audience. There were a lot of people in the audience, but I really was focused on this one guy because he looked like the character,

Aaron Arkoway from the Sopranos. Janice's evangelical boy. Oh, right. Yeah, the guy was an arclapse. He looked so much like him, and he looked so friendly, and I just kept looking at him because he made me happy.

but every time I would say something but especially when I said Iran should have a nuke he would nod emphatically and I thought that was 2017 I mean like to your point is on like I think you're 100% right about like the anger and the frustration in like among modern American liberals

and like they are like people have many political dispositions in this country as it regards Donald Trump they're like they've run into a wall of like all conceivable politics has led to this and is like thus far been totally ineffectual at dealing with a problem like Donald Trump.

So like, I don't know, understandably, I think many people are just now fantasizing about just killing it. Yeah. Because like, they're like, that maybe is the only way out here. But I would say rather than celebrate that, I think we need to like shepherd liberals into like the warm embrace of Marxism and it kind of like structural and

understanding of history and politics so that they don't resort to stochastic acts of political terrorism. Because, like, that's where they're going with all this. And, like, you know, you said at Hassan, as far as, like, Louisiana or any of this stuff goes, you can joke about it, but, like, look, lone wolf acts of terrorism, not really going to move the needle of history. It's not really what we need now.

But I do say, like, when it comes to, like, the Searchlight Institute or, like, the argument mag, that's what, like, Kelsey Piper was going at you about, like, you know, like, people who, quote it celebrating what Luigi did. And, like, to me, it's, like, I don't think anyone's really, like, celebrating it, per se. But the thing is, like, you should ask themselves when that, guy when Brian Thompson got killed. The fact that every single American before we knew anything about the shooter or what happened

just immediately was like, yeah, I understood why that happened. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When I described this on numerous occasions both first with Ross Dowthet and then on the New York Times podcast though, instead of trying to understand the point that I was trying to make while also explaining that adventurism is unproductive and the real solution to these problems is like organized labor militancy.

Right. And, and and the real systemic change that are necessary to make, most liberals, including the well-read right-wing version of liberalism, Ross Douthit, were like, oh, you mean going on an adventure? Is that what you mean when you say adventurism? Like, they have no intellectual curiosity, or I think sometimes they're just very cynical. And I will, I will admit, a lot of these guys went to college. A lot of these guys aren't like your your average, you know, town hall contributor or, or, you know, right wing. They're not Nick Shirley, right? Like, they're, they're supposed to demonstrate. Not everyone can be a genius. Yeah, not everyone's a genius like Nick Shirley. But, like, I would

have expected a little bit more intellectual competence from the liberals, like the liberal intelligentsia, instead of just like leaning into the thousands of hours of attacks that I have experienced from like dumbass drama slop tubers on fucking YouTube who don't understand anything at all. They're just like rehashing Reddit comments, right? Like it was unbelievable hearing like these people who used to, I don't know, lobby the government to make drunk driving legal like Sarah Longwell did, right? these types of things she tried to make yeah she's awesome that was that was she from Wisconsin by the way I don't know but that was the one cool thing

she tried to do everything else was bad but like all of these people were hitting the exact same attack lines being like I will refuse to see the context I will refuse to see the nuance in your argument you must be advocating for constant death and destruction and murder all the time

and my favorite thing that they always do is like oh you're you're analyzing something that means you're endorsing it, you know, wholeheartedly, you're incapable of making jokes. It's just like, yeah, like, I made jokes about UBG killing that guy. And it's just like, look, there's a difference in fantasy and reality, right? And to me, like, it's the effective altruist crew. It's like the Kelsey Piper lady.

It's like, are you just a Vulcan or something? Like, if you have never fantasized about killing a health insurance executive or an American politician, like, I don't think you're really a human being. Right, right. It's just like doing it obviously is a totally different universe, Like, is there no one in American political life that you wouldn't be secretly, like, happy if something bad happened to them? Like, with Kelsey Piper and any of these effective altruist people, uh, going with this line of attack. And I agree with you.

It is totally like, they know what adventurism means. They're going for like their fucking, they know what social murder means. Or maybe they don't actually. I don't know. They're going for their special combo, which is to like make someone, uh, totally unacceptable to be in the public discourse. but for her specifically it's like shouldn't you be in a RICO trial shouldn't you aren't you

you know if we are if we are hanging people by their associations you shouldn't you you should have to earn your freedom by wearing a wire to talk to the guy whose head looks like a light bulb Mark Andreessen yeah no that different guy the other

the crypto guy or you Also market. Also market. Yeah, that's true. There's a few guys like that. You should have to like, you should have to be like miced up a lapel camera watching the Caroline. What's her shit from the FTX doing polycule stuff. You should have to, you should be facing 25 to life.

And you should have to do Donny Brasco shit. You should not be writing articles. Yeah. And in fact, we're going to make you live in a half. house. Where you're going to live in a halfway house, we're sending

Elliot Stabler in there to go do into committing a second crime. Yeah, get out of here. Get out of here, Kelsey. I said, sorry, to return to the Wall Street General of Faith Bottom.

Here, says here, what a fucking stupid. If the president was the ultimate target of the gunman at the Washington Hilton, it is at least the third assassination attempt against Mr. Trump. In July 2024,

he was less than 10 minutes into a campaign rally in Butler, blah, blah, blah. We can talk. we should talk about political violence in America, especially against conservatives who are still shaken by the murder of Charlie Kirk. Oh my God.

So when he says, this is at least the third assassination attempt against Mr. Trump. And I've loved the responses to this from conservatives who are just like, stop trying to kill my president. And then my favorite reaction by far was Marie Glutenkamp Perez,

who just tweeted, please stop trying to kill the president. And I was just thinking, okay, I'll stop. Yeah. Sorry. Yo, my bad. Sorry, Marie. But the answer is,

To be fair, she was speaking to her constituency. Extreme centrist. Actually, I don't know. I don't know what his take is on killing sea lions or whatever. It's an inner Maoist dispute. Oh, my God. Yeah. Well, she's like, this is the official break.

She's, Camer Rouge, because she's against the cities and she's breaking, you know. Oh, I thought you were saying she wants to do the sea lions what Mao was doing to the sparrows. she's like it's going to have tremendous ecological reverberations they're stealing our salmon but you know

three assassination attempt on Donald Trump the third time it's your fault yeah yeah everyone's like why does everyone

and sheep kind of keep trying to kill him and it's like because of the things he does like yeah and says because he's Donald Trump sorry

the reaction like he is the type of guy who's always involved in situations. Yeah. Like, have you ever... All of us have known people who are like, oh my God,

I'm, you won't believe this. I have to... You guys know how I've had this nine month long dispute with my neighbor? Well, because of a law in Santa Monica, Civil Codes, I have to fight him in trial by combat.

It's like, it's just always something with this person. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You guys know the movie, the borrowers? That's happening to me. And it's... And like the first two times you're like, oh my God, I'm so sorry.

And then the third time you're like, I think you're just like monopolizing the group chat. Yeah. I think you're doing things that make this stuff more likely to happen to you. Okay. Speaking of it, like, did you see the 60 Minutes interview with Nora Adonnell and Donald Trump on Sunday night? God, he looks so fat. Sorry. He looked crazy.

I love, I love it. He's doing the thing he did in his mugshot where he tries to look tough and like suck it in and like clenches. jaw and he just looks like a manuel he just looks like a fucking mannual yeah speaking of like why people keep trying to kill him uh so nora adano like she was like uh she read from the

manifesto and she was just like one of the reasons like he has motive for doing this is because he said like I will no longer let my hands be stained with the blood of this pedophile rapist and traitor and then like Donald Trump literally made eye contact with the camera when she said pedophile rapist and traitor

and then he was like he's like I knew you were going to ask me about that because you're such horrible people. But I said to myself, you know, I'll do this interview and they'll probably, I read the manifesto. You know, he's a sick person. But you should be ashamed of yourself reading that because I'm not any of those things. And I was never, excuse me, excuse me, you shouldn't be reading that on 60 minutes. You're a disgrace. But go ahead.

Let's finish the interview. Just like, well, the guy that tried to kill you just said he did it because you're a pedophile and a rapist. Like, what do you think we're not going to ask you about? that. The Epstein angle is the shit I predicted. That's such a good move. Like, oh, I bet you're going to talk about my credible accusations of sex crimes and the trial I lost about that.

Yeah. But he says here, we can talk and we should talk about political violence in America, especially against conservatives who are still shaken by the murder of Charlie Crick. Now, this is another digression here, but I've had this thought, like, I've seen other people express it. And like, obviously disturbing to see Charlie Kirk murdered, like, on camera. Once again, not endorsing that. I think it's fucked up that, you know, someone just killed him.

But what's honestly more disturbing thing to me about Charlie Kirk is, like, seeing his afterlife on the internet. And like, it's like to see the way, like, his face and likeness have now, it's like, it is like watching someone's soul go to hell and be like, it's like being sent to. Andy joke. Yeah, it's like being sent to Hades and tortured for. It's literally the joke we had about John Candy's love. I mean, if, speedy of threads, if there's a thermonuclear war and like one percent of humanity survives, the new human culture that springs up over the next 3,000 years after it's safe to come to the surface, Charlie Kirk will become like a trickster god.

You know, no one, people will just have these like fucking memes where they fucking put his face on the King Vaughns and shit. And no one will know who this guy was and they're just like, oh, this is just like, A figure of mischief. Yeah. Going on here. It says, it's a dangerous profession, Mr. Trump said,

when asked whether he was concerned about threats to his life. He compared his job to race car driving and bull riding. Bull riding? Yeah, bull riding. He noted the presidency

is far more dangerous. 8.5% of presidents have died by assassination. Okay. That's lying with statistics. Yeah, that really, there haven't even been...

Because, like, John Wolks both killed Lincoln because, like, the guy who was supposed to be guarding and was just at the bar. Okay, okay. And then, like, he just walked into his box and blew his head off. Okay, but think about it.

What if Lincoln had a fucking ballroom? That's true. If he had a ballroom. He could have seen our American cousin performed at the White House. Yeah. Did you know that 50% of World Wars started because of Serbia? It's just like, okay, like, there haven't even been 100. Why don't we calm down?

When asked why assassins keep targeting him, he answered, I studied assassinations. Whoa, Vicki. Yeah, and it suggested that the people that make the biggest impact, such as Abraham Lincoln, tend to be the targets. They don't go after the ones that don't do much. I hate to say I'm honored by that, but I've done a lot. We've done a lot. The comparison to Lincoln may seem a modest, but Mr. Trump stood with presidential stature on Saturday. We should all be relieved.

He survived the attack. Now, it's that last line. We should all be relieved that he survived the attack. This is what I want to talk about, because obviously we've talked about the radicalization of liberal centrists and how they, They are now turning to political violence and terrorism because they can't persuade anyone. They don't want to talk about politics. They don't want to talk about policy.

They want to talk about Hassan Piker and they want to do murders. The people, the group of people in America who should be the least relieved that Donald Trump survived this assassination attempt is his supporters. 100%. Because like there is nobody,

like whether they are aware of it consciously or not, there is no one who wants Donald Trump to be killed in office more than his supporters. Because being assassinated is the only way that he will be remembered with any dignity in American life. Because if this presidency goes on for another three years, they're going to be stuck with the situation of losing the war in Iran, becoming even more unpopular at home.

And like, Maga will become like what neo-conservatism was after the Iraq war. And they're going to spend the rest of their lives pretending that they never supported Donald Trump or that like Mago means something other than supporting Donald Trump. So it's the only heroic way out for him is if someone kills him in office. The greatest thing that could happen for those people. Now, for anyone who wants to make this a going concern after he is gone. And, you know, for him, you know, to have bragging rights in hell is, yeah, he dies.

Ideally, you know, for these people, if he got assassinated, J.D. Vance becomes president. And, like, you know, who is that lady in Peru who had like 3% of people already? Yeah, yeah. He would make her look like... He would be her record quickly. Dude. Like, he would make her look like fucking W after 9-11. Like, it's just the bottom falls out.

They have to pass a law where it's like, okay, you can tarn-feather Republicans, but we have to do it like through the courts now. It's just, the last Republican is Clay Higgins and he's kept in a zoo. But then, dude, those people can still go like, oh, it would have been fun. Like Trump was going to turn it around. until they killed him. Exactly. And then this stupid J.D. Vance idiot got in there.

If this guy had been successful, they could spend the rest of their lives being like, this is the week when the Iran world would have turned around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, this is the week that, like, it all would have changed. But, like, we were robbed of that. And I just think it's like the only,

like him dying heroically is the only, or being murdered is the only way they can, like, relieve themselves of the psychic burden of having to pretend that they still support him. And that, like, they'll never be called to account for like, you know, his being, you know, supporting president

pedophile Hitler. And J.D. Vance is the perfect guy to point to and go, he fucked it all up. You can accurately go, well, he said Trump was Hitler and he just, like, he got into this for his own ambition. He's always been like a pick of last resort.

His own birth parents were like, yeah, I don't know. They were like, you know, they picked him up after spring training. because their second string son went to the chargers another hilarious detail from last night this is from the New York Times coverage

of the shooting at the White House Corseman Center says here several things happened in quick success I know what you're about say please issue a trigger warning Tuxedoed Asians pulled out guns and began running toward the ballroom white-jacketed caterers screamed and bolted for stairways pandemonium rained as cop cabin

officials were evacuated Robert Kennedy Jr. and his wife, Cheryl Hines, came out and were ushered into an elevator. Then Janine Piro emerged. The FBI director, Cash Patel, came tearing across the hallway with two men in tow. His girlfriend was hiding in a room with another man who was holding her hand.

Reporters are about to be taken into the ballroom. The show will go on, apparently. So Cash Patel, he's like, his wife is in a panic room, being consoled by holding hands with another man. oh man maybe she's that guy's hag

yeah that's an official position you have to get confirmed for that to be the FBI director's girlfriend's she's your hag I saw this

but Cash's girlfriend Alexis Wilkins was going at you yesterday too I did yeah because I was our thing I was the guy holding her hand she's

we're trying to keep it a secret it was really messed up that the New York Times reported that, yes, I was consoling her. It's fine. We were having consolation sex. It's the best way to console someone during an emerging trauma. Yeah. Yeah.

And I have to take responsibility. A lot of the confusion afterwards, I was trying to create a diversion for you. So I was in the hallway yelling random colors to confuse, like, all the secret service. Felix was the, Felix was the guy that they arrested at the Charlie Kirk shooting. It was like, I'll do it again. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, that stuff on the phone was not mine. Felix, also some other great bold name attendees from last night's White House correspondent

Center. This is a UFC CEO Dana White was president and claims to have ignored commands from authorities to quote, get down. No, that's right. That's right. Like, why is he bragging about that? Oh, no, he was awesome. He was like, just the coolest thing I've ever experienced.

It was dope. Like you can see his adrenaline was coursing through his veins. I do think he legitimately like, there are a bunch of people who like died in freak accidents who died in the place of Dana White. Dana White was supposed to die like 50 times in his life and he just has not. Another guy like that is RFK Jr.

Yeah. There was initial reporting when I was covering this at the time when like someone was like RFK Jr. was seen limping and then people in my child were like, oh, you think RFK Jr. got shot up. I was like, no, this is just RFK Jr. He's limping because he's RFK Jr. Like, he's the type of person that, like, if he got shot and died in the process,

the autopsy report would still take, like, months to figure out exactly what killed him because they'd be like, he has unique diseases that we have never seen before, so we can't be sure that it was the bullet. During the autopsy, we actually discovered another bullet that's been in his brain for 15 years. I mean, that's, if Trump, if like, all of these are legit,

and people keep trying to kill him, he has to keep these two guys, he has to keep RFK Jr. around him and Bolsonaro, because they absorb, like, all the injuries and malice and bad luck. Like,

if Bolsonero had been there, like, every shot would have missed every, like it already did, but they all would have gone into his colonnostomy back. Another, another attendee, Federman.

Federman's in there like a fucking, like a frog on a log. Just like, you know how pissed he was that he didn't die that night? Oh, my God. Yeah. He was like, he was like, okay, like, just no one wants to kill me. 20 minutes after they put the shooter down, he was probably like, oh, I got it. I'm Trump.

Oh, fuck. He's, he's the get the idea way too late. He was also in the coordinated group chat effort. He also got in on the ballroom fund. Yeah, yeah. He was like, oh, we need a ballroom for the president. I mean, oh, my God. Yeah, he's, he's been another one of my ops.

He goes on Fox News and, like, there's very clearly lines in front of him that he reads every single fucking day where he's like, oh, the Democrats are aligning with an anti-Semotite. No, that's a real thing that he's keeping saying. He said anti-Semotite? Yeah. We saw this great video of him and Dave McCormick going to some steel plant in Pennsylvania. And it was, it was such a goofus and gals. thing because Dave McCormick, he looks like, you know, when Garth Enis draws a Republican politician. Yeah, yeah.

He was so happy. He was like he was wearing the Carhart jacket they all pretend to wear. It was like, you could tell that they were like, all right, Senator McCormick, we have a boy with no documentation that you can have fun with after this. You can kill immediately and be making to a steel drum that we make in these plants. and he was glad-handed. And Fetterman just looked like Vito's son. It's like, can you fucking buck up, hell? Like, you need to be strong, John, masculine.

You look like an Israeli hula. Another great moment from the bottom of, Olivia Rangel is hiding under a table. I love her. And, like, just literally going live Chris Hooks pointed this out but she's supposed to be a journalist like a news event that's happening

like point the camera at the thing that's happening Olivia not your fucking face okay so many her hair oh my god yes thank you the big tails the double the double

pig tails was a crazy move but I was thinking it's like I guess like you are in a room where there's a lot of elite pedophiles so that's like the most appropriate hairstyle you get a giant lollipop in order outfit

because like What the fuck? This is a black tie event. What are you doing, Olivia? And she will hear this because she is a big fan of both chopo and myself as well. She will probably listen to this so she could write a free press because she's on the Hassanabi beat. Olivia, do you like the game ready or not? Do you like standing wordlessly while watching a man play it?

No, I love the video she made. It was so good. Again, it's so funny to have it like shots go off. off and you take the second to be like, all right, camera facing me. But the breaths she did, the very theatrical breaths, it was like she was doing a self-tape for like some Netflix movie about, you know, a woman who was a combat medic in Iraq. And she, it's like a liberal sound of freedom type movie. Like it was, she is, uh, my friend Jamie said that she has YA protagonist brain.

She really, I love her. I love her. It's just funny because there's like, you know, immediate footage because it's one of the most like, every media member is there. There's immediate footage surrounding her of like 75 year old men still eating their salad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like hugging, hugging the ground under the table like, bullets are whizzing by my head right now. It's terrifying. And then you have that like one CIA like media agent who's just sitting there slowly eating.

He just slowly eating his chicken breast andre. And then they asked them, the New York Times, I think, interviewed him and I was like, what were you thinking? He's like, listen, I'm too old. Like, I have a nice new tuxedo. I'm not getting on the fucking floor. It was like when, when junior keeps going to funerals. And he goes to that one really sad one where it's like the tailor,

like the kid, like it's the child died. And he's just walking around like, this chicken salad's good. He goes, he goes, the chicken is extra spicy. I feel like that's one of my favorite junior. It's one of my favorite junior pop lines. Oh my God. He's like someone's like someone's second cousin that he barely knew and he's getting like. It's like a seven-year-old.

Yeah. One more reaction to Saturday night that I did want to touch on comes courtesy. Because like once again, I sound like this very much touches on like all the, like this is like adjacent to like all the discourse about you for the last few weeks. But like I thought of that when I saw this from. Dylan Byers, who writes, The Dylan Byers Club. One small state of the culture observation on last night.

Shortly after leaving the Hilton, where a gunman attempted to enter the room in which the president, vice president, and several cabinet members, congressmen, dignitaries, business executives, and hundreds of America's leading journalists were gathered. I went to a bar with a small group of colleagues to touch base, get our bearings,

and ideally watch the news coverage. When I lived in Washington a decade ago, bars like this one usually had at least one TV, tuned to CNN or Fox News. These TVs were on a hockey game, and no one in the bar seemed aware of what had just taken place, mere blocks away. We asked a bartender to change the channel to CNN

so we could watch the president's briefing with captions, which they did. But then a few minutes later, the bartender said he'd been informed by the manager that the bar had a policy against showing political content, and he'd have to go back to sports. I tried to imagine what this bar might have looked like on March 30th, 1981,

an hour or so after Hinkley fired shots at Reagan at the very same hotel. I imagine every television would have been on CNN or wall-to-the-wall special coverage on the broadcast networks and that passers-by would have come into watch as well. The media is giving this ample coverage it deserves, but it's unnerving how desensitize so many people have become to shootings, obviously, but also to political violence and the abnormality of the moment. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we just picked the wrong bar, but I doubt it.

Pew Research recently reported that the attention to the news in the U.S. has declined across all age groups since 2016, and that young adults have consistently had the lowest levels. Go on on. He says there... Motherfucker, you made the sandwich. Yeah. And I suppose this is how you find yourself in a bar

in the nation's capital, an hour after crouching behind a chair as secret service members evacuate the President of the United States for the room. Spare me. Being told that you have to watch Penguins v. Flyers. Yes, Dylan, you do have to watch Penguins Flyers or Nuggets Wolves or any of the great

NHL or NBA playoff action that's going on right now. Sorry everyone so desensitized to this. Like, we've, as we mentioned on the show, this is the third time. Someone just tried to do this. No, it's fourth. It's technically the fourth. That's what I was going to say earlier. There was also a guy who went to Mar-a-Lago, who was another former Trump fan turned the Trump enemy, lovers the haters' arc that got blasted by Secret Service because he walked up with a shotgun to Mar-a-Lago with like Molotov cocktails or something like incinerer explosive devices. And we forgot about it. That didn't even make a blip in the media.

because Trump seemingly is on the verge of death by one of his former fans in any given moment. Literally, anywhere he goes, there's like, if he sees like a weird looking white boy who's just like looking at him strange, I would be worried if I was drunk. And that's like, you know, talking about needle in a stack of needles. But like, by the way, I didn't think any article could be more pointless than that one we read about that fucking stupid conservative lady who goes to the restaurant and doesn't eat anything. This is even worse. This is like, oh, I don't know how people can not be paying attention to the news when there's

great articles like this. Like, loser and loser friends go to bar where CNN is and on. How are they not? How is, how are people not spending $20,000 a year in subscriptions with content like this? But also, you know, yeah, fourth assassination attempt. it's very fucking rich though especially for the American media to go

it's really fucking unsettling how desensitized people are to violence exactly oh yeah by the way that hospital that got blown up that was the Hamas missile

that girl school that was an Iranian missile and also all the casualties are fake only like yeah actually only like actually only like 50,000 people died in fucking Gaza and they like it anyway. They like doing it and half them were militants. No, it's like, we are

obviously a culture totally awash in insane violence every day. And like for the most part, they don't really touch our lives. So like, you go to this bar and people, he's like, I was crouching under a table with Secret Service escorted the cabinet out, blah, blah, blah. Just like, everyone in the bar is like, wake me when they actually kill this fucker. Otherwise, we got brewing sabers on right now, you know? Like, yeah. And it, by the way, like, that is, there is so much sneaky language in this but half an hour after I was crouching under a chair No one cares. Because it's like he knows if he said

fearing for my life. Everyone would just be like, okay, jerk off. Yeah. But like, okay, why is the bar supposed to put on the most boring? You know what? Where they put CNN on? Waiting rooms and airports because they want you to be like, they don't want you. Sort of like lulled into like that sort of passive. It's a natural depressive. Yeah.

It brings you down. It's like if they played something exciting, if they played, if they even played like, you know, the lethal weapon with Kenan Ivory Wains, that series on waiting rooms. The TV series.

Yeah, the scene from the pit where the guy just clocks the nurse that would happen every day. Yeah. To every doctor. If they played it in airports, it would be like the 1970s.

Every plane's getting hijacked. But because, you know, these are so, they bring you down. it makes everyone compliant. A bar is like, that is a time for merriment and joy.

Yeah. Not to be brought down, not to be treated as cattle. There is no, there is no man with transition lenses that needs to touch your genitals at the bar. So you don't need to be brought down and herded like a cow with CNN, Dylan.

Like, get out of here. You brought this up already, but it's ultraviolence everywhere. The American media is very clearly super comfortable engaging in military action, deposing assassinations, kidnapping, torture, rape, all of that stuff. Like clockwork orange shit. Against foreign heads of state, including little children at school. And there's this like normalization of all of that violence. But then also on top of that, we have a very violent culture here in the

United States as well. We're like, there's a mass shooting happening on a daily basis in this country. There's school shootings that take place so frequently. And at this point, the average American is just like, yeah, I guess it's just a part of life. The only thing that's extraordinary about what's taking place when, you know, Charlie Kirk is assassinated is the targets. For the first time ever, if it's the United Healthcare CEO, Brian Thompson or Charlie Kirk, people, are now deciding to go after higher visibility, higher priority targets or trying to attempt an insane assassination attempt on the president

as opposed to murdering their immediate loved ones, right? Which there's still a good deal of that happening on the background as well. We don't even care about it. It's like it does, it's sort of a companion piece. The problem that the Republican Party and the conservative movement in general has been having where they can no longer reconcile this idea of like, okay, we can be horribly, viciously racist to everyone, except Jews, because that's above everyone else.

Like, they are now running headlong into how unsustainable that is, how you can just not do that now. And maybe it was, it never was truly sustainable in any medium or long run. The same thing happens when, you know, people who die due to the hyper maximal profit profiteering of the American healthcare system, the gears of the American Empire, all these people are killed day in, day out, mass slaughter, thousands at a time. It happens so much. They just purely become numbers.

And any change to that, any even small marginal reformist adjustment where it's like, okay, I don't think that it should cost $150,000 to be in the hospital one day. I don't think that we should we should have these fucking carrier groups all over the place able to strike and kill thousands at a time at moments notice. No, we can't do that just because

of the way things work. Like, sorry. Sorry, there's no avenue for this in political change. And if you keep telling people that eventually they're going to go, oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Bang. That's what I said, like, left, right, center in this country. Everyone who just basically comes to the conclusion that like all this left to do is just

fantasized about Donald Trump being killed or dying of natural causes. Right. But that's the only solution to the problem of him being present. And like to your point, Felix, Kelsey Piper in her attack on Hassan here, she described the, like, everyone who is killed by the American healthcare industry, she described that as, quote, suboptimal policy. Oh, good to know. Like that, like, from the effective altruist, like, abundance lives, that is the most

Stalinist thing you could possibly say, like, one death is a tragedy, a million is a statistic? Like, if you keep telling people like, yeah, sorry, there's just maybe in 30 years, if you get slightly better, what the fuck do you think is going to happen eventually? And like, I guess like to round things out here. Like, an important point is that like contra dillen buyers, when it comes to political violence on both the left and the right wing of this country's political alignment or whatever, there is far less political violence now than there was, for instance, in the 1930s, the 1960s. Oh, yeah.

Like during the civil rights and Vietnam. Way less than 1970s. Yeah, yeah. The 70s, like, all kinds of assassinations, bank robberies, fucking kidnapping, bombings. Great radio war nerd on that. Yeah, yeah. But the thing is, like,

our political culture is so warped now, and I was talking to Ben Mora about this in LA, and I think he's really right. Everyone but the kind of, like, establishment DC politicians and, like, liberals in particular, kind of understand this in the Trump era, is that, like,

to be a successful politician or to speak to people in a way that resonates with them or like the times we live in, you kind of have to say insane things. Yeah. Because it's the only way that like we live in the midst of such obscenity

that like any political message or a messenger who doesn't I don't know, like kind of translate that is just doomed to fail because people just tune it out. Yeah. It's so bizarre, right? Nissan was talking about how much

people in the media and electoral politics are just not understanding the moment. When I watch like fucking Josh Shapiro go out there and he's wearing, he's like, look y'all, I'm wearing my white air forces. I'm getting a stomping on my first one.

Yeah. Uh-oh, don't get me on my black ones when I'm on demon timing. But you know, just doing this like cornball relatable shit, it's like if principal Skinner showed up to be the principal of the school from the movie coach,

Carter. It's like no, no, it is not time for that. Like this shit is not working. I don't know if it ever worked, but it is definitely not working here. This is the wrong fucking place for that. Like, you, you, you are not fucking getting it. And like,

that is not to say that like, you know, they won't win. Like some fucking shitty Democrats going to win, you know? Yeah, of course. Eventually. But they, they are, we are doomed to the cycle of repeating Brandons. until there is someone, someone, just anywhere in national electoral politics on the left of center who understands this, understands that, yeah, they have to say and do things that would seem fucking insane six years ago.

Yeah. All right, I guess we should leave it there for today's episode. But before we go, I really got to, I'm going to flog hard the pre-order for our 10-year anniversary merchandise. you can only order this merch until April 30th. So vanishing hours and days left for you to do this. Please do it. If you don't, like I said, it is going to be a bitch to get all these t-shirts out of the Strait of Hormuz.

But if you don't do this pre-order and we don't get to fill the correct number of orders, like there's a good chance that Iran will capitulate to the Great Satan. And I know you don't want that to happen. So please go to chopopoprapehouse. Dot Store and place your pre-orders today for our 10th anniversary of merchandise. And if you don't do that, believe me. Like the Pentagon, like the Secretary of War, they're counting on that right now.

Yeah, yeah. If you don't step up and stand up right now, we're going to do you like Governor John Shapiro would do you if you creased his forces. All right. We'll leave it there today. Asan Piker, always a joy. Thanks so much for joining us.

Thank you for having me. And I do want to say, Felix, you might find, finally get your wish. After this podcast is released, I suspect that there will be some hit pieces that will mention your deep anti-Semitism. You might get up in the rankings after this one. Finally.

I am so I feel like Pete Rose. They're going to say he's anti-Semitic by being next to me. I feel like Pete Rose with the baseball Hall of Fame. It's like they won't let me in for this one stupid fucking reason. This one thing. This one thing that I can't even control. It's not my fault. No, I mean, like, I sound like, you know, we've been, like, you're lapping us, man.

And in this election cycle, man, like, I was like, can I get one free press article written about me? Just one? Maybe a comment, you know? I have, um, we are no longer hot. Yeah, we are really washed. I've been, we've been, like, trying to brainstorm and shit. Like, we're coming up with really stupid ideas.

You know, we, one, me and Andrew from E1, we wasted 50. thousand dollars trying to come up with a creepy pasta i don't know what we thought we were going to do with that um i thought about getting the sandwich board from die hard and wearing it somewhere i just we don't know what to do yeah this is it this is the one-stop shop it'll definitely i mean look at what happened to uh gia the the the poor writer that unfortunately was sitting across from me from the new New York Times podcast where they wanted us to talk about micro-eluding for some reason, which I wasn't even in agreement with it. When they said, like, would you steal something from the Louvre?

That was like, I was like, I pray to God his son's never in that situation. But like, you know, if it was part of a cool Ocean's 11 style, I mean, look, I don't think you should steal from art museums, you know, art is a public good. But like, come on, if you had the opportunity to be involved in like a heist like that, come on, that's pretty cool. I mean, that's what I was saying. And people were taking it so literally. You're like, this guy's such a real idiot.

It's like, oh, he wants to steal from, you know, a publicly funded art museum. The Lurv is like the most socialist thing you could have. It's like, dude, it's a fucking joke, man. I literally tie it back to how like every, every theft thing that we have now is just like cryptocurrency schemes conducted by podcast pedophiles.

Like, I want something cool again. Bank ice. The whole thing about, like, you know, shoplifting or whatever, it's like, I don't know. endorse it, but I'm not going to throw a fucking moral panic about it either. It's just sort of like, I thought, you know, I haven't shoplifted since like the seventh

grade, but like, someone else I'm not going to make it like, you know, like the thing we all must talk about now. Yeah. I just yeah, no. I talk about missing the moment where it's like, oh yeah, that is the most like

outrageous disgusting thing in like public discourse now. Not like the daily messages that are like, we're going to kill every man in Iran and all the women will become sex slaves. We're going to behead you if you

write an article for your school newspaper criticizing Israel. No, like that, like, what? That podcast was from what, like three years ago? Like, who fucking cares? Yeah, it's unbelievable. But that's, it's, it all ties back to the same problem. These guys,

they have an inability to understand where the public is and it's become this like weird echo chamber that's totally siloed off from reality where they talk to an increasingly shrinking smaller audience of people who are like why won't anybody listen to our concerns like it's the same thing that you just brought up with the with the article about like nobody wanted to tune into the CNN they called me a nerd and kicked me out of the bar it's like yeah dude they don't give a shit you're because you're not giving them anything to care about you're not talking about what their concerns are, what the average person's worries are, because

you're trying to engage in some instances in this, like, insane disciplining operation where you're like this, this fucking Twitch streamer that no one really knows about is the major fixture in discourse. I mean, I guess I would like study these apart. I think they actually probably do know where the public is at, and that's why they've been talking about you nonstop for three months. Because, like, they're like, if you're a Democratic pundit, like, public is like Medicare for all cut off Israel and they know that's impossible for them to voice like

they did like that is like so anathema to everything that they're paid to do yeah everything they actually believe in that they need to like as you said try so desperately now to enforce this discipline over like who can and can't be a part of the conversation or whatever because like the conversation that's being had among their own voters or the people they should be like pitching their ideas to do is like we should kill the president nuke tel aviv and give everyone this country health care. Yeah. I mean,

going back to the social media service threads for a second, I just, one of my friends said something that I think is so funny about it, that is such a good description. She said that going to threads is like, it is their social media post from an alternative universe where a thermonuclear international war happened. There was a volley of missiles from here to France to China,

to rush all over the place and 0.01% of the human population survived. Threads is the only social media site in this world and it is where people who are dying of radiation poisoning and blind post to pretend that none of this happened.

Media where you're like, all right folks, we can all admit this is too far writing that in 2026 that is the same thing. These are the people, these are the fucking Morlocks who are like, what are you talking about?

New York City is still standing. I'm going on vacation tomorrow. There's just a hole through their fucking forehead. They're glowing. All right. Once again, chopper trapouts. store, please get in your pre-orders for our 10th anniversary merge.

And if you don't do that, there's a good chance that Iran will capitulate or begin negotiating once again with the United States and take any advantage of it. So we don't want that to happen. Chop or Trapeau. dot store support the irgc all funds going to support the iranian war effort yeah if you want them to get the purified hydrogen bombs from mgs do well you know where to go yeah chobotraphouse dot store once

again all right that does it for today's show everyone till next time bye bye bye