Chapo Trap House - 310 - Marianne Mindset (4/29/19)

Episode Date: April 30, 2019

We take a good vibes tour through the most recently declared candidates in the Democratic primary, and discuss how Bernie's big money is wigging out the Wall Street squares. Tickets still available for our shows in Manchester (6/7) and Dublin (6/9 [nice]). And keep an eye out for a 2nd late show in London, all at chapotraphouse.com/tour Join the Marianne Mindset Movement here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIfw9kAbMlc

Hey everyone, we just got back from probably our most efficient trip as a show, Upstate to Ithaca, New York. Usually when we go on tour, tensions run high, we're all irritated by something, we all miss the creature comforts of home, but something just clicked this time. There was something we all felt wash over us among the gorges of Upstate New York, a shared emotion, or an aura. I'm talking about good vibes. In these tours, we've had a surfeit of bad vibes.

Not this time. This time, our vibes were perfectly aligned. When you're walking downhill at 2am, drunk and high past unfamiliar houses in an unfamiliar town, that's good vibes. When you're walking beside a rushing stream at the bottom of a gorge, just hucking bottle caps and spent jewel pods into the water, that's good vibes. And it made me realize that we've carried on neglecting our vibes for far too long. We talk about some aspects of political praxis on the show, listening to podcasts, posting

about comic book movies, you know, doing politics. But there's an entire political dimension that we've yet to address. Now, I'm a supporter of Bernie Sanders. I want him to win the nomination in the White House. That course of events aligns with my political goals. But I recognize there is a vital debate going on for the future of not just the Democratic Party, but of the emerging left majority against austerity, against neoliberalism, against the ravages of the climate crisis.

There's been much discussion lately about the likes of Sanders and Warren expanding the Overton window, where socialized medicine, debt forgiveness, a Green New Deal, ice abolition and so on become mainstream positions. And we're not for the spoiler factor of the dozen plus other candidates in the race. I could see how a good faith debate between these two politicians would be salutary for the left. And in that spirit, I think it's time for the Overton window to expand even further. I think it's time to lift the curtains of that window and peer through it, to pierce

the veil of reality and observe the realm beyond full of shimmering orbs. Imagine, if you will, the classic two-dimensional political alignment chart. The axes are economy is social issues. Now imagine adding a third axis, expanding it into a three-dimensional political cube. Now imagine adding a fourth axis, turning into what scientists call a time cube. There is one candidate who will accomplish this. If you listened to last week's premium episode, you heard our introduction to Democratic presidential candidate Mary Ann Williamson.

She's a spiritual guru, a fellow best-selling author, a fellow friend of Oprah. And she is the first true metaphysician to be a major party presidential candidate as Nate Silver has recently declared. Like Sanders, Williamson is following a truly revolutionary path in politics. Most politicians will talk about the department of energy, but not our organ energy. They talk about our political alignment, but not our chakra alignment. They talk about third-way politics, but not third-eye politics. Williamson is different.

Her discourse is the perfect antidote to neoliberal HR speak and centrist obfuscation. Her positions include lifting the vibrational frequency of the universe, creating a unified field of energy on invisible planes dispersing the thought forms of insanity that are tearing us apart and enjoying good vibes with your friends. As we all know, God is dead. As people of my generation approach middle age, the late 30s, we are increasingly concerned with existential questions. Who am I?

Can I trust my senses? Are dreams real? Without religion, we suffer from a deficiency of mysticism, the sort that has existed in every society. Certainly, we must focus on material forces, but we cannot deny this primal need, this current political factor. For most of us, we've filled this void with politics anyway. Trump supporters have the Trump prophecy.

Everyone else is just eating the lotus flowers of online. Perhaps your faith lies in the book of Robert Mueller. Perhaps you think your salvation will come from posting Twitter threads that are like, um, okay, buckle the fuck up, y'all, because today, we're talking about how the Lego movie is just fucking gross to survivors of imposter syndrome. If we are to find a way out of the subsuming of politics by spectacle to return to a politics of materialism, who better to lead us there than a spiritualist with aggressive social democratic views conversant in the language of political mysticism?

Now Williamson isn't perfect. Her position on BDS is terrible. I'm not sold on her stance on the mind-body problem, but good anti-capitalists make similar criticisms of Sanders and AOC. Like them, Williamson expands the political time queue, paving the way for more sophisticated transcendental politics. Did you know in 2016, Williamson endorsed Bernie Sanders? Here's a quote from her open letter to Hillary Clinton.

I want a woman president. Really, I do. A lot of us do. And yes, you're so qualified. And yes, we've known you forever. And yes, you know what to do from day one. We all get that. But none of that is good enough to get my vote, or the vote of a lot of people I know.

We only want to vote for you if you run like hell away from that corporate box you've landed in. I'm telling you, Hillary, the American people have become hip to what's happening. We know now that Wall Street runs the country and we don't like it. And for many of us, we don't want to vote for you if Wall Street runs you too. Now you might be worrying. What if she takes votes from Bernie? That's a serious concern.

Here's the thing, Bernie's target demographics and Mary Ann's are very different. Bernie is pursuing young voters, working class voters, African American, Latino voters. Mary Ann appeals to a different demo entirely. One that we categorize in our bestselling book. I'm talking about the wine mom. You might have someone in your life, a wine mom in Astiant who nominally agrees with Medicare for All with breaking up the banks with a guaranteed jobs program, but fucking hates Bernie Sanders.

Who's going to reach that person? It's not going to be you. She's already reported you to the FBI for being alt-right because you said that Chelsea Clinton's never had a real job. But you know who can? Oprah's spiritual advisor. Imagine Mary Ann sitting down with your wine mom, knees to knees, her face full of patient confidence, asking her, how can you hate Bernie Sanders when you and he are connected

by a vibrating strand of energy like an umbilical cord? Imagine if you will, a political movement that could make Matt Crispin finally relax with divine energy. Before last week's premium episode, Mary Ann Williamson needed over 10,000 unique donors to qualify for the first primary debate. As of now, she needs fewer than 8,000. There's a hell of a lot more than 8,000 people listening to this show, so if you can, I hope you will join me in donating this $1 to Mary Ann Williamson to get her in that debate.

I know you love to give feedback. You can even write in the comments of that donation from a ChappoTrap House listener. I want the orbs. Show me the orbs, Sanders Williamson 2020, show me the orbs. Over a rare time after one of Virgil's monologues, I have a statement in support. You guys know my favorite video of all time, right? You know what I'm talking about, fake LA bitches, clout sharks, all that stuff, right? You might if I read the greatest tweet from one of the stars of that video, Faze Banks.

Another mass shooting, 30 minutes away from where I live, 12 people dead for absolutely no reason, could have easily been me, could have easily been you. Where the fuck do these weirdos come from? When are we going to get our shit together? Fuck vibes. See, okay, this is similar to Bernie, okay? Because people don't know the language of democratic socialism. They don't know what means of production is.

They don't make memes where them and their friends are in a car and it says, get in, get in, get in. They know in their hearts that Comcast sucks, they know their lives are fuck, they know that they're constantly humiliated not just because they're sending girls you up messages at 2 p.m. They know that there's something out there. And do you think Faze Banks fully understands Williamson's spiritual science? No.

Most people don't. People couldn't spend, you know, a fucking week in an advanced astrology program. They couldn't tell you what part of the orb is which. But they know that there were fucked vibes when they look at mass shootings, when they look at cloud chasing bitches, when they go to a party in LA and it's just so not them, they know that there's something wrong out there. I think there's a silent majority behind Williams, like Virgil stated. And if Bernie can harness this, he won't just be a president.

He will be, like in that Virginia Heffernan essay, an actual white hot ball of energy that Hillary never could. Yeah, I would also add that I was initially very skeptical of Marianne and her divine wisdom. But that bitch is almost 67 years old and she looks like that, so she's not right. She looks amazing. She is so hot. She is insanely hot at 67. So she knows something.

She knows something. She's got a vibe. She's got some sort of vibration around her, that's for sure. You know, Marianne could easily publish a bestselling book for money that's called, like, you know, The Beauty Secret. Oh my God. Or like a cheap old diet book. But she's never done that.

She doesn't care about that. She never sold that. She cares about spirituality. She's not like one of those Christians who writes a book that's called, like, The King David Work Week. That's you, you know, biblical productivity methods. Yeah, Solomon skincare. She wouldn't do that.

I agree definitely that Williamson could be the bridge to the wine moms. But there's another demographic that I think could really benefit from some exposure to her wisdom. And that is the disaffected white male, neat internet psychos who are, yeah, who started this Trump guys and are now kind of disillusioned with all the real hardcore Nazi shit and are migrating to Yang. The Yang is the middle course of their evolution away from sort of the spiritually dead realm of online where the it's brutal hierarchy and the only thing that matters is perceived

intelligence and ability to be totally callous and have no real soul. Like that's the strongest guy is the guy who doesn't feel anything to a world where they access their spiritual route side and realize, oh, there's something more to life than just being miserable on the internet. And yeah, they need to move from Yang to Williamson. It's happening in stages like the lumpen is crawling out of the morass out of the primordial and like Yang is the first is the first step, Williamson, yeah, absolutely, they're gonna open those third eyes up.

And I think one of the ways that we could aid in that and we sort of we we game this out a little bit before the Cornell show by, you know, inaugurating a dank Marianne Williamson meme stash for Marianne and like the first one I thought of the classic one where it's the soldier kneeling to protect a sleeping child and like there's like just a hail of knives and bullets going into his back and then you just take the text, all the knives and bullets, negative energies, bad vibes, incorrect frequencies of universal vibration, the soldier Marianne Williamson, the sleeping child, all of us, the galaxy brain meme was made for her.

Absolutely. Okay, guys, I think it's time for, you know, our equivalent of the plumbers act plumbers are equivalent of creep, we have to repurpose gritty to be about vibe. Yes, you got to get those gritty vibes. Also the the the the frog profit meme, another one perfectly made for Marianne, the bedraggled the bedraggled the popper on the left, Yang gang, and it's neat bucks, accelerationism, automation, alienation on the other side with the smiling frog profit, Williamson gang and it's orbs, good vibes, positive vibrations, spiritual consciousness.

If Andrew Yang is a movie, he's he's a ready player one. No one likes that. No, you don't want to. You don't want to do that. So is you don't want to watch that fucking movie again. But if Marianne Williamson is a movie, it's the Wachowski sisters seminal classic from 2012 cloud Atlas. It's a very orb vibe movie.

I'm not no cap. It is as anyone actually seen cloud. I have seen cloud. It is moving. It's incredibly cheesy, but it's disarming and moving. It really is. I love that movie. Here's one. Get in loser.

We're going beyond the veil. Yeah. So yeah, I guess this will kicks off our, you know, transition into being full time Williamson wonks. You like Williamson wonks or Williamson wags more? I don't know. I think it needs to be workshopped. OK, we'll put it.

I think it should just be psychonauts paradigm, dude. I don't. We don't need a cutie pun name. We just need to say who we are, what our beliefs are. We need to learn our lesson from reformist sheepdog shills like Jeremy Corbin and Nicholas Maduro. You know, take a little, take a little tip from their marketing and apply it to a real radical like Williamson.

This is the boys. Well, you know, people need, you know, people who speak in plain language with clear moral priorities about how, you know, death is an illusion and reality exists in, you know, the four dimensional space known as time, which is actually an illusion bread and butter stuff. Yeah. This is a good lead in to something we haven't done in about two months, a little lecture update.

The since we last talked about the Democratic field has expanded to 20 candidates. I tip my hat to Matt, who called that a few months ago. Yeah, man. The clown car is just filling up right now. I feel like a soy boy clown world, nearly a half dozen more still considering Steve Bullock. Remember that guy? Yes.

Bill DeBlasio. Steve Montana. Governor Montana. Steve. And his name is Steve Bullitt. Yeah. Bullock. Bullock.

Like, like, like Seth Bullock. And he's from Montana too. So I've got to support him. He's pissed. Yeah. Super pissed. I think Michael Bennett is still flirting with it. Yes.

DeBlasio. Terry McAuliffe actually finally said he wasn't, which is like, they see Abrams hasn't actually said no. Ah, yeah, man. Let's get them all in there. Got the other Castro brother in there. Let's go for it. So we think it'd be helpful.

We put together, I put together a little field guide to help identify your, your newest Democratic presidential candidates. Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the ones pulling it zero percent, not one percent, zero percent. All the ones who are pulling under the, the teenage meme, meme campaign. What do you say? You ready? Let's do it.

I'm readyer than I've ever been. Okay. Leading off, Seth Moulton, Congressman from Massachusetts, representing a district north of Boston, Iraq War veteran, Harvard MBA, member of the New Democrat Coalition. He won his seat in a 2014 in a primary against incumbent John Tierney. During that campaign he was endorsed by General Stanley McChrystal. The Luger Center's Bipartisanship Index ranked him the most bipartisan member of Congress from New England.

Well, from New England? He's best known for two things. One is he supposedly won these military awards and downplayed it. All very, very bashful of it because he's not one of those guys who, you know, just tells war stories all the time. He just uses that as a springboard to run for Congress. He's probably best known for this, gracing the front page of the New York Daily News wearing his combat uniform, holding an AR caliber assault carbine rifle with the caption

in quotation marks, no civilian should own this gun. From his op-ed, I trained for years in order to use my weapon properly. And long before I ever aimed it at an individual, I had to look at pictures of dead and mangled bodies in order to understand the magnitude of what it meant to pull that trigger. And how cool it is. This is like when when like you used to watch like televised, scared, straight and the kids were just confused. Yeah.

So believe me when I tell you, there is simply no reason for a civilian to own a military style assault weapon. It's no different than why we outlaw civilian ownership of rockets and landmines. Which is bullshit, too. I should have a tank. Absolutely. He also unsuccessfully ran against Nancy Pelosi. No.

Speaker. No. Is that correct? Yeah. But I thought Malton like led the led the insurgency or something. I thought they were both in on it. Him and Ryan. They might have been.

They might have been scheming together. I think they were in their own gamble thrones. I know he's a guy who's like his he's one of these those who's trying to get the the the Democrats are going too far left lane, right? He's like, we got to we got to remember that we're a party of two country of two parties that we need to be reasonable. I think so. All the all the white guy, no name, congressmen are basically gunning for that lane.

He's also seemed like an anti gun guy, which leads to our next fellow. I just want to hit like, I am the politics editor of Chris Evans, his new political website. And I've been taking off supporting Donald Trump because I did too good of a job of it. And now they put me in charge of supporting Seth Moulton. I just want to point out, Seth Moulton was in the military. So if any Republican tries to say he's a pussy or likes terrorism, he could just post a picture of him in the army.

They could never do that. Like if someone was in the army, that's like instant, instant, like the Republicans have to respect them. Right. Gotcha. Like that, yeah, that thundering man, John Kerry, and yeah, Yeah, nobody. Yeah.

Democrats keep thinking this is going to work though, right? They're like, look, we have a tough guy and it's like they don't care. They do not. Oh, I'm not a patriot. I watched thousands of hours of crushed videos to learn to fire this weapon, sir. I want to see a Seth Moulton campaign ad where it's just like it's him and he's pointing a military style machine gun. Yeah, I said it.

Yeah, I said it. An AR style machine gun. An AR style machine gun with a with a with a clip full of cartridges and he's pointing it at you. It's like directly like you're just like, you're just seeing it just staring down the barrel of a gun. And he's like, hi, I'm Seth Moulton. If you see this image, you should only be in a country other than America immediately

get turned into, you know, what you see, what she sees, except that the she in that question is the famous National Geographic Afghan girl. See, we're so good memes. How come Seth Moulton and Pete Buttigieg could do this thing like, you know, I've walked around foreign countries with this gun, it should never be in the streets of America. But when I, you know, my anti police brutality campaign, which I've raised awareness of through swatting people, I'm like under federal indictment. It's the same thing.

Number two, Eric Swalwell. Eric Swallows. Eric Swallows. Congressman from Northern California. He's another guy who won a primary against an incumbent Democrat. This time Pete Stark. You remember Pete Stark, 20 term incumbent, who was reliably pretty left during the Bush years, best known for being an atheist.

Like Moulton, Swalwell's pitch was that he's young and unprincipled. According to his biography, quote, the September 11th terrorist attacks occurred during his internship, inspiring him to public service. Where was he interning? Like the Hill, probably. Geckos. Black Rock Eagle Trust. In his first term, he broke house rules to post a vine of himself voting against an anti

abortion bill. In 2015, he launched the bipartisan sharing economy caucus with genuine evil person Daryl Issa. Sharing economy. Daryl Issa was a very big fan of people sharing their cars with him. I love sharing. I love sharing the economy. It rules.

Isn't that just communism? That's socialism. Isn't that the sharing economy? Sharing economy. Yeah. That's what he launched, Swalwell said, I pledge to lead our country with a team of rivals, a blended cabinet of Republicans and Democrats, not because it will be easy. And we may have to send out a search party to find more Republicans who can put country

over party. I pledge to lean over and grab my ankles. Again, wait, what year was this? What, when he said that? Yeah. He said that like a week ago. Yeah, like three weeks ago. At his campaign launch.

Cool. He learned things. Well, you don't think that between Kathleen Sybilis and Charlie Kirk, we can get the best solution for people. You know, if you get Sebastian Gorka and Samantha Powers, I guess, we couldn't get something going here. Secretary of State, Megan McCain, make it happen, Eric. Gillibrand-Bannon collaboration.

Yeah, look, we learned from the adventures that sometimes the most unlikely allies are the greatest of friends. So I think the same thing applies politically. By 2021, cabinet rivals would be half-proud boys and half-gritty avatar guys. I'm in favor of that. If the cabinet meetings are held at the bottom of the ocean. Swalwell's also trying to be the anti-gun guy. Yeah, like we said, that's a smart market.

That's a very emotive issue. Everyone loves that. Yeah. And it doesn't threaten any major donor bases. This one, third congressman, Tim Ryan, another fucking white guy congressman. Tim Ryan represents- Why are they all running in separate people? Yeah, they're the same guy.

Tim Ryan represents a district in Ohio that includes Youngstown. He worked for friend of the show, Jim Trafficon, before succeeding him. Which means that he was in charge of delivering giant bags of oxycontin and counterfeit doubloons to his tractor farm. He was in charge of the teleportation device that beamed him up. He used to use the glue stick to swaddle that fucking toupee on his head. Ryan's probably best known for voting for the Stupak Amendment, which almost derailed Obamacare by restricting the use of federal funds for abortions.

You remember that bullshit, man. I remember Stupak. Kind of like Bart Stupak. In 2016, he challenged Pelosi from the right for the position of House Minority Leader. And he's also a published author. In 2015- So are we a big deal. In 2015, he published The Real Food Revolution, Healthy Eating, Green Groceries, and the Return

of the American Family Farm, which is one of those, hey you fat piece of shit, fuck you books. The promotion- I love books like that that just tell hog-faced people, hey, don't eat three slices of white bread with every meal. The promotional copy starts with this. We Americans love our food. It's part of what has made this nation great.

No, no, no other culture enjoys food. It's very uniquely American. And we don't enjoy food. We just kind of like sit glumly over a trough to numb the pain. That's not enjoying food. The whole thing is that we're poor and sad. Enjoying food made this country sad. He literally just shoveled GMO corn fry, like corn rinds into their mouth while watching,

you know, young Sheldon, the puberty years. We love- There's no enjoyment. It's our love of food that made this country great. But here's the thing- God damn, that's good. Ryan- I made this country great by being a big bitch.

Ryan- I try to remember, there was a restaurant chain that I once went to the website of, because those are always funny. And the copy talked about what they believed in and they said, you know, America loves eating and eating out. And we reflect those values in our recipes. That's a choice of words. Ryan-

I mean, no one, nothing represents America more than just like a really pushy guy making an aggressive soy face who constantly talks about how good he is at eating pussy. That's America. America loves eating out. Ryan is also competing for Marianne's voters. In 2012, he published, A Mindful Nation, How a Simple Practice Can Help Us Reduce Stress, Improve Performance and Re-Capture the American Spirit. This is from his author bio.

Congressman Ryan has a daily mindfulness meditation practice. He has been an outspoken advocate for promoting mindfulness practice as an aid to dealing with a variety of complex problems facing the nation. During his tenure in the house, he has helped to get mindfulness in social and emotional learning programs established in several schools in his district. Ryan- That would be awesome if they replaced all those stupid fake job retraining programs for laid off factory workers with mindfulness training.

Ryan- I'm pretty sure that's his pitch. Ryan- Yeah, I mean, because it'll have as much of an effect. Ryan- Mindfulness is yelling at people to stop eating corn and to meditate more. Ryan- Mindfulness has to be the most insulting thing that rich people have come up with in the

last 15 years, just like, you know, don't think about where your life's going, don't think about how your kids are just going to breathe poison air and die, and how, you know, Presidency is probably their only hope, you know, just think about the now, think about how fortunate you are to be watching, you know, The Good Wife 2, The Good Ex-Wife, you know, just live in the moment. It's so fucking insulting, of course, is fucking corn balls into that shit. Ryan- What I don't understand is, like, this sounds like a dude who represents Marin County, not

fucking Youngstown, Ohio, is he going into this town that's been basically bombed out for 40 years to people who have not even, like, whiffed, had a whiff of a job in decades and said, have you tried mindfulness and farm-to-table dining? They keep relaxing him. Ryan- People in Youngstown try to get their kids internships with the town's fent dealer. It's a land that God forgot, and this is what he's giving them. What a fucking prick.

Ryan- Look, those are the congressmen. Let's go up a tier to the governors. Jay Inslee, governor of Washington state, he's the climate change guy. In 2007, he wrote a book called Apollo's Fire, igniting America's clean energy economy. His whole pitch is, as a governor, he has all these practical ideas for making the green new deal work. If you go to his website, he doesn't have an issues page.

He has a page called Climate Mission. The problem is, he hasn't actually released any policies. Also, he gave $8 billion of tax breaks to Boeing. Ryan- Known clean energy superpower, Boeing. Boeing is a third-worldest company that's trying to dissuade anyone from taking airplanes. Ryan- Here's the thing, we're going to put a thing in the planes that makes them crash, and then

you have to pay more for it not to do that. Ryan- Yeah, as a leftist, you have to support Boeing. I'm sorry. Ryan- They certainly are heightening the contradictions. Ryan- Yeah, I support Boeing, Lori Loughlin, and Ninja, and Q-Nan as a leftist.

I write for Slate now. Ryan- Well, you want to guide the other... He's the climate change guy. Ryan- He's the anti-climate change guy. Ryan- Well, he wants to just have one debate just about climate change, right?

Ryan- Yeah. Ryan- Which, honestly, there should be. Ryan- Yeah. Ryan- I mean, come on.

What the fuck? Ryan- This next guy is the pro-climate change guy. Ryan- John Hickenlooper, Governor of Colorado. His whole story is he started a brew pub in Denver and was against weed decriminalization for many, many years. Ryan-

Oh, right. Exing out the competition. Ryan- Here's what's fun about Hickenlooper. He loves fracking so much. He wants to kiss and cuddle fracking. He directed state attorneys to sue local governments that banned fracking. He appeared in a paid ad for the Colorado Oil and Gas Association, saying that fracking

is totally safe. And here's my favorite. He drank fracking cum. Testifying for the U.S. Senate in 2013, Hickenlooper said the following about fracking fluid. Ryan- You can drink it. Ryan- We did drink it around the table, almost ritual-like, in a funny way.

It was a demonstration. They've invested millions of dollars in what is a benign fluid in every sense. Ryan- Almost ritual-like. Ryan- Yeah, this is fossil fuel spirit cooking. Ryan- This is also like when they would spray kids with DDT.

Ryan- Yeah, like right behind the trucks. Ryan- They're fine. Ryan- He's doing pizza gate for fracking. Ryan- Yeah.

Ryan- I mean, I'm happy for the variety, to be honest. Ryan- I do like the ritual aspect of it, though. I mean, that's getting into a sort of mirror hand mindset. Ryan- Yeah. Ryan-

You sit around a table and pass around a cup of fracking cum. Ryan- Yeah. Ryan- I mean, that is the thing that I like about Hickenlooper. He is the most black-pilled candidate we've ever seen, more than Donald Trump. Ryan- Absolutely.

Ryan- He is the god of death. Ryan- If you've just totally given up, if you've accidentally called your work wife, whatever the fuck that is, I see it on Twitter a lot, I think it's just something people made up. If you call her mom, if you accidentally CC your boss, like a picture of the brown spot on your asshole that's been there since you were a kid. Vote for Hickenlooper.

None of this will last. Ryan- Yeah. Ryan- There's only one god and his name is death. Ryan- I'm just happy for the variety. Like you said, you can't really tell most of these other guys apart, at least there's

one evil. I think they should run. I think they should do the, it's always sunny thing. Like, where Mac and Charlie, you know, like, applied with one resume, doing the same job. Ryan- Yeah. You should either do a human centipede or get one big suit where they're all connected. Ryan-

Oh my god, yeah. Ryan- They should get some kind of gigantic shirt that has five head holes. Ryan- Yeah, exactly. Yes. Ryan- Like the Knights of Knee kind of thing.

Ryan- Yeah, the Knights of Knee. That's so much combined experience and bipartisanship. They could really turn this country around. Ryan- Rounding things out, there is one last candidate who recently joined the race, former Vice President J.O. Biden.

Ryan- We've talked about Uncle Joe on this program in the past, and he is probably the least Marianne out of all the candidates, including Donald Trump. Ryan- Oh yeah. Ryan- So unmarianne. Ryan-

In the 80s, he wanted to triple the drug war. He said, we needed a D-Day, not a Vietnam for drugs. Ryan- D-Day! Ryan- Too many drug users were having their cases dropped. Ryan- Like that Dutarte.

He went with that policy too. Ryan- And in 2000s, he wrote the strongly anti-vibe rave act, a bill targeting ecstasy users and had the effect of making venue owners afraid to implement harm reduction. Ryan- Oh God, what a fucking buzz kill. Like he is just, he is Uncle Buzzkill. That's his whole life has been just making everybody's time less chill.

And you know what? I've said on the show before that he's going to start draining support as soon as he announces, and I'm starting to think I'm wrong and that he's actually going to be the fucking nominee and that he's going to lose to Trump, partially because that's the funniest thing I can imagine happening. Ryan- But what I've been saying since the beginning, because it's like all the shit that we talk about, like all the people who are like, you know, argue, oh, Warren's actually to the

left of Bernie. You know, I actually, I'm, my dream candidate is he's, you know, fucking Jay Inslee and Andrew Gillum, but you know, it's from the left. None of that matters. The average person just thinks Joe Biden is epic and he's going to win and then he's going to lose to Trump. I've been saying that since the jump. D-

I mean it would be a- Ryan- Joe Biden's the man to be. D- I mean, it's not just a situation. Just the same thing repeated exactly over again with the same result. Ryan- I'm sick of my guns on it.

He's going to bleed support. Like he's not making it out of this primary. And also remember, it's a fucking marathon, not a sprint. Everyone fucking makes up their minds like a week before the caucus or the New Hampshire primary. D- Yeah, they're going to make up their minds for the epic guy. Ryan-

Yeah, that's the thing. It's like he reminds them of Obama. People want to go back to normal. They don't really have ideology. D- Yeah, I think that Obama halo for some reason, but it is, it was, it's everything seemed more stable during the Obama years. It's hard not to fault them.

They could at least, you know, have a nice like, you know, waspy dinner where no one yelled at anyone else. D- Yeah, and you can, you could tell that like these primary voters are not ideological because so many of them, their preferences are ranked one, two, Bernie Biden or vice versa. D- Keep this in mind.

When Kamala Harris announced, everyone freaked out about it, right? You know, she's going to be the one to beat. D- Then she opened her mouth. D- Then Beto announced and he was the one everyone was scared of. Look at him on fucking Vanity Fair. Oh, you know, everyone's so fucking stupid and image obsessed that they're going to vote

for this fucking guy. He's at like 4% now. D- Yeah, because- D- It's true. D- He's currently declining.

D- With his little gerbil teeth, no one likes him. D- Way down from his peak. D- But I've said this since before. There was like the cattle call. I'm like, Biden's going to be a problem.

D- Yeah, I think I'm starting to think that's the case. D- Keep this in mind. There are two ways you can poll the race, generally speaking, without getting into stuff like likely voter screens and shit like that. Two ways you could poll a race of fucking 20 people. One is to read the polling respondent all 20 names and then have them specify which one

they support. D- And in polls like that, Biden gets like 30% nationwide. But the other way to do it is just say, hey, so who are you going to vote for? Democratic, you know, primary. The vast majority of people like 55, 60% have no response to that question. Biden gets like 13% when you ask that nationwide. At this point in like 2003, Joe Lieberman is like 50% in these polls.

D- Yeah, that's what I always have for Biden. D- Rudy Giuliani is like 40, 50% at this point in 2007. D- But the thing is- D- He has sex appeal.

D- Bernie has comparable name recognition to Biden kind of. I mean, after running four years ago, it just makes me worry that like he's hit a ceiling, you know? D- I think people are also going to just sort of be extremely cautious. D- That's the thing.

Democratic primary voters- D- And they think that it's safer. D- Are these terrified little gerbils. D- They're so scared because they want to beat the guy. D-

They want to beat the big bad guy and they'll do anything that it takes. D- So they'll get a different big bad guy. D- Yeah, exactly. D- Like the way that they all, every fucking, still to this day amazes me on 2004, you had a large field, it wasn't as big, but it was probably 10 people, you had Dean leading

for most of it, leading up to the Iowa caucus, and then spontaneously, without any kind of precipitating incident really, a week or two weeks before, everyone just goes over to John Kerry, who had been polling at single digits and head to head to take out a mortgage to cover- D- Kerry and Edwards. D- Kerry and Edwards.

D- Kerry and Edwards. D- And it was just like, there was this fucking reptile fear response all clicked off in their head as it got closer to the actual vote, and they were just so terrified at the prospect of Bush winning again, they're like, who can we get? It's like, Army man, Army man, he will protect us. D-

And it's like, how does that not happen again? D- Honestly, I think in that particular instance, this was just a matter of the Howard Dean campaign just fucking. D- Well, they were. D- They were running millions of dollars in attack ads on each other, and they basically

destroyed each other before Iowa. D- That's true, but I mean, there's no way to guarantee that that's not going to happen again. D- Oh, sure. But I'm saying, which we just don't know either way, what's going to happen the fucking last week of January 2020.

D- Yeah, but it would be funny if Biden got it and then lost. D- It would be kind of funny, yeah. D- Oh, here, this one was from New York Magazine today. This is sort of, it touches on Biden, but it's about the 2020 candidates, and it's sort of a piece of the things we did, the last couple of New York Times articles about New

York Tandon, and then all of the sort of stop Sanders momentum. D- Oh, God. D- That nearer thing, she was Klobuchar. D- Like, yeah. She's like, I didn't punch him, I shoved him.

D- Jesus, bitch. D- This is like of a piece of that. This is from New York Magazine. This is about like Wall Street and how they're freaking out about the 2020 Democrats. And it says here, you know, like, there is tremendous fear, said One Banker, who is there. This isn't like, you know, another one of these dinners where they're just like, you

know, scheming to stop Bernie, or, you know, scheming to be like, America seems to think we have undue influence over the political process. How can we meet together in private to stop the candidates we don't like from ever getting purchased? D- We're getting goblets full of blood. D- Yeah.

D- The long cultivated relationships with Wall Street, such as Cory Booker and Kristen Gillibrand, were struggling to gain traction and had grown more hostile to finance as their party had. Joe Biden, leading in early polls, had a comforting history in the Obama White House and a reputation as an establishment Democrat, but had never until a few months ago maintained any meaningful relationship with Wall Street. So this is before he announced his candidacy.

There's just one other section that I highlighted here. It says here, before Trump won, Hillary Clinton had outraised him by a margin of more than four to one among the financial crowd, which had long regarded him as a pariah because of his shady record and bankruptcies. Now, the anti-corporate, anti-Wall Street direction of the Democratic Party is driving Democrats into the Trump camp, which is, in most cases, the last place they want to be, said Catherine Wild, CEO of the Partnership for New York City, the business group that counts among its members, all of the city's major financial institutions.

The fact that he's raised as much money as he has is a reflection of how many Democrats are holding their nose and supporting him because they feel demonized by the Democrats. So the Wall Street guys are just like, they're going to do the same thing we've been saying over and over again. Why are you making us vote for Trump? Why are you making us do this? Why couldn't you just pick Cory Booker? Why couldn't you just pick someone we can trust?

What's wrong with you people? And then, right here at the last graph here, it says, over coffee recently in Midtown, an investment pro with a long history in Democratic politics described the struggle to resist the unexpected pull of Trump. What matters more, he asked, looking up at me, my social values or my paycheck. I wonder which one you're going to come for. It's just slowly loading like a tube sock full of oranges saying, this is going to hurt you.

It'll hurt me a lot more than it's going to hurt you. No, I mean, like I actually kind of like that they're getting that stuff out of them. Because you can't moralize that you're just like, look, this is how people behave rationally. We've created a society which incentivizes this stuff and you can get angry about it or you can just be extremely practical and be like, well, they have the money and we have the numbers and we have to play that game. It's certainly better than fucking this. You're not going to shame them.

They don't have shame. Like conscious capitalism where they're trying to say like, we represent values here in Wall Street and Donald Trump is in opposition to those horseshit. Yeah. FT just did a profile on Warren Buffett that was really interesting and it led with the, I have more fun than any 5,000 year old man you'd meet. And he's like, I mean, like, first of all, they had like three people interviewing him. It was super weird.

And it's like, I'm going to drink a Coca Cola now and they're trying to like humanize this like alien fucking reptile man interviewing him like a caveman hunting a mammoth. I enjoy eating. I like to go to an A&W root beer and get a delightful soft serve ice cream. Then I personally oversee the eviction of people from my trailer parks that I own. It's the only thing that gives my ancient penis interaction. I got to hand it to this is the one thing I got to hand it to Joe Biden on. I was just thinking of he's just been in the pocket of the fire sector for like 78 years

pretty much. And his whole state. Yeah. Yeah. His entire state of characters who are clipping through fence posts have reelected him to do this for about a century. And he's net worth is that he's like 250,000. Yep.

He's doing it for the live game. I truly believe him when he's like Wall Street's good for America because he's not getting a shit out of it. Yeah. He's just getting donations. But he's like Mitch McConnell. He doesn't lift a fucking finger without like some just, you know, blubber neck piece of shit giving him an oil field in Kazakhstan under an escrow.

But Joe, he's they're just giving him a coaster. He's in it for the love of the game. He will turn this country into just a fucking feudal hamlet overruled by insurance companies in order for him to just wear a fucking engineer's cap on the Amtrak. He's a true believer. And in many ways he is very much like a like a Trump that hasn't been copied too many times. Wells Fargo gives him a bank calendar and he thinks, hmm, best deal I ever made. Yeah, Joe Biden in the Senate, just every legislative session would like pass a bill

through committee that was like, yeah, if the bank repriseses your house, they all your kids are wards of the bank. And yeah, Wells Fargo and Citigroup and all them, they would just round Joe Biden up and they'd be like, Joe, any appetizer you want, and he'd be like, you just got to love the perks of the job. Yeah, he would do half price ass. He's just swimming with debt because he keeps trying to like dig his own in-ground swimming pool and hitting the septic tank.

And no, that's like, that is a little Marianne and Joe. You can't say he's like, he's is a corrupt person, just moral, but like... He's not cynical. Yeah, he's just an idiot. He's a fucking... Joe Biden is a hippo with hair plugs. Oh my God, his teeth. I mean, I talk a lot about the teeth because that's my new phrenology now is that, I mean,

I said from the beginning, Beto, you could tell how evil he was from the teeth. Now we have Buttigieg with his terrible, durable teeth. Biden's caps are the most alarming. He looks like Matt Dillon and there's something about Mary. Biden's cosmetic surgeries are like he was trying not to get fired as the lead in a soap opera for 40 years. The way you know that... He looks like a weatherman.

The way you know that Biden is an absolute, just glassy-eyed psycho in some way is that if you look at any footage of him, when he ran for president the first time in 1988, when he had the brain hemorrhage and then he plagiarized Neil Kinnick's speeches and got bounced off, like, with disgrace, one of the worst campaigns ever, and you look at his hairline and then you look at it now. This guy was in front of the entire nation with just this absolutely arid scrub land of hair at the front of his head, just a Chernobyl exclusion zone of decimation. And then he just shows up one day in the middle of the 90s, like, hi, everybody, what's going

on? It's all back. It's like, how the fuck are you going to pull that shit? He pulled a piven. He pulled a piven. How are you going to... And he's like, I dare you to say something. Only the biggest psycho does that.

I dare you to say something. Yeah. Because like every normal person's like, you know what, I should have seen that. I didn't really pay attention to this. And now it's too late. Yeah. And how everyone knows. Only a complete maniac is like, fuck it.

I am going to brazen this out and dare you to fucking comment on it. It's equivalent to if Beto, like, you know, when he loses, he comes back in eight years and he just looks exactly like, boy, boy, West Coast. He's bald, he has good teeth, there are bandanas everywhere. He's speaking sort of like an East Bay Mexican guy accent. Like, what the fuck? He's like, no, this is how I've always been. I could definitely see him wearing a do rag at some point to try to get down with some

local voters. Start calling the message. Joe Biden and Beto challenge each other to a wave check. Don't know what that is, but I'm sure it's funny. So my ultimate prediction, the thing about Biden winning out of just pure cynicism, that's a joke prediction. My real prediction for the primary is that the Night King, Hickey Looper, and the last dragon, Amy to Targaryen, will do a holy battle in Winterfell, St. Paul, Minnesota.

Song of ice and fire, baby. Sure. Just one other thing from this New York magazine piece, sort of again, very similar to the New York Times pieces, it's captured the way Bernie Sanders just has fucking you money at this point, like his ability to raise money. My money, real good. He's not just freaking these people out because like nobody's courting that like he doesn't have to come and kiss their ass or then, you know, or adopt positions that, you know, are

palatable to them. Or go to Lloyd Blankfein's fucking summer house in the Hamptons for a chicken dinner. It's also sort of displacing their sense of social worth. And I was going to read this part. It says here, meanwhile, parts of the Democratic field were doing the same with candidates focused on building Sanders style small donor email driven fund raising machine. Sanders raised 10 million that way in just his first week as a candidate. It's kind of stunning how a bunch of these people running for president haven't gotten

ahold of a list of top pass contributors and said, what can I do to get this person fumed a hedge fund honcho out of the loop for the first time in two decades? It's sort of basic political IQ. Everyone wants to seem relevant, one prominent investor told me. But for the first time, he or any of his friends could remember, we're just not fucking relevant. We're not that big a deal of a deal anymore. None of us. A lot of the donor community is worried about losing their presidential perks and ambassadorial

gigs to baristas, said veteran New York Democratic fundraiser, Roger Zimmerman. Oh, my God. This has really affected the donor community. Oh, they interviewed the fucking phenomenally, man. Yeah, they're doing violence to the spaces of donor Americans, and I don't think that's right. As a donor American. But I like that he has like losing it to baristas, like a lot of their guys, like baristas

are their biggest enemy. Yeah, of course. It's their biggest like sort of social enemy and like the person they interact with who's like lowest than them on a totem pole that they still have to deal with or feel on the hook to to somebody. Right. Right. It's Brett with one T.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Dude, I'm so sick of these hipster baristas talking down to being my Wall Street friends. You know, they're at Starbucks, they're listening to Justin fucking Bieber. They're rocking out to Mumford and Sons. I'm so sick of these hipster baristas. Speaking of small donors and the staggering amount of money that Sanders and now other people are trying to raise from this model of getting a lot from getting a little from

a lot based on, you know, like an email and turn out Sanders with something like four hundred thousand small donors right now. Fucking baristas. All right. There's a very, they're really. They're going to fucking get in there. They're like under four foot. They're going to carry out their fucking barista agenda on all of us.

You're so tiny. My donors are so tiny. I want to put you in my pocket. Ah. They're small beans. This is a, I saw this really great take today on Bernie Sanders, you know, money making. This is courtesy of the national review and Jay cost under the headline, the problem with Sanders small donors subhead.

He is now winning the money race thanks to activists. But do we want voters on the fringe setting a party's course? Which is the answer is if you're the national review and talking about the Republican party. Yes. Absolutely. What does the fringe mean? Like he has more donors. Yeah.

That's not the French. That's the masses. But I think they mean that they don't have any money. And so therefore they really don't know the fringe. I think they mean in a normative sense is that you have the people who deserve to have a say in politics because they have worth by virtue of their wealth and the people who don't have any and as such should not be making any kind of decisions or having any influence on politics.

But that's like reverse engineering a definition of populism by income. Yeah. They love it. He goes, he says here, the corporate titans gave to politics not out of kindness of their own hearts, but to acquire access to government that the average person does not possess. This kind of financing strikes at the core of our Republican ideal that every citizen should be equal as far as the government is concerned. And since the progressive era, there have been countless efforts to bring the special

interest to heal, which we have opposed at every step. The emergence of the internet has created a legitimate alternative, which Sanders is making the most of rather than a politics financed by special interests. Sanders is drawing funds from an army of local activists whose commitment to the cause induces them to chip in $20 here or $40 there. Taken individually, the activists cannot compete with lobbyists from the telecommunications or healthcare industries, but their numbers are so vast that in some they can propel Sanders into the front of the money race.

Call me a contrarian, but I have my doubts about this mode of financing, too. Again, stability doesn't have any fucking doubts about the other mode of fucking financing. That's horseshit. Obviously not. His name is Jay cost. He's these. He rise. He wears a blazer with dollar bills.

I'm familiar. I'm familiar with Jay cost. He's one of those finance guys who just has like an uncreative writer named him. I'm sure that when he when he opened the newspaper to see the citizens united decision, a single tear rolled down his fucking cheek. He goes, yeah, I have my doubts about that. Let's leave that aside. He goes, again, stipulating that donors have access or influence that average voters do

not possess. Is it really better for activists to be the main source of finance? Corporate lobbyists are going to invest in politics for their stockholders' interests, but activists have a wide array of ideological views that are often out of step with the rest of society. The Sanders voters in particular are far to the left of the average American and probably the average Democrat too. We complain so much about political polarization these days, and I think with good reason.

But to what extent does the polarization in the last generation lead back to this revolution and campaign finance? Are grassroots extremists pulling candidates to the ideological fringes by increments of $20 a piece? It's very possible. Again, as you bring up, his definition of fringe here seems to swing wildly back between masses of people which are so numerous that not even the millions of dollars from corporate lobbyists can compete with, but they also happen to hold views that are entirely fringe,

like Medicare for all, of course, which is a fringe view held by about 70% of voters in this country. Yeah. Well, I think, yeah, he's just saying that they're motivated and being motivated makes you a... Suspect. Yeah, a glassy-eyed psycho. But again...

Motivation is sus. The only motivation that can be trusted is self-interest, like all these rich assholes who are paying for things. Forget self-interest. William F. Buckley and the National Review was founded to make sure that the fringe of the conservative movement took over the Republican Party, and they did, and they've changed American politics because of it. Now that if Sanders wasn't raising any money and was just like another Dennis Kucinich,

they wouldn't have to come up with a new narrative about how actually small money donors are bad. So he closes this out by here saying, all of this speaks to some inconvenient truths that Americans have failed to fully grok. I love when people use that word. All right, nerd. Politics is very... You don't even need a different word for it when you have multiple words for it.

There's so many words that fit there. Politics is very expensive. Somebody has to pay for it, and whoever does is going to get special access. Who do we want those persons to be? Special interests? Activists? Someone else? We collectively don't know, as we tend not to think to that much about campaign finance.

Maybe if a socialist captures the democratic nomination in this cycle, we'll think a little more clearly about whether we want our local hippies bankrolling politics. I think he says, who do we want running politics? Special interests or activists? It's like, oh, I don't know. Yeah. Do you want a bunch of people collectively coming together around an idea of a public good that they are not personally invested in, but is the product of their lived experience

about the troubles of living in this decaying capitalist hellscape? Or just guys who their entire livelihood and the livelihood of their idiot fucking kids depends on the world being drained of all its resources and turn into a fucking cinder? I wonder. I'm having a hard time. Can't think of it. So, that burning money is... Money.

It's real good. It's money, real good. Money's real good right now. And it's causing a lot of agita among... I want him to do an Instagram thing of him going to a buffet and just press the soft drink dispenser and having it come out. It's being my money real good right now. He would never debase himself in such a way.

No, no. We also have the great photo of him shopping this weekend. That was great. Getting some progressive soup and still mouthwash. Yeah, when Bernie makes it rain, he just pours soup directly onto his driveway. Watch the sodium, Bernie. That's all I'm saying. So, yeah, no.

The amount of money and the polling, he continues to pull, continues to give people a lot of heartburn. And I hope it continues to do so. And more than anything, I hope he does get the nomination so everyone who is going to spend probably the next month just angrily interrogating you, like, will you support the Democrat? Will you support the Democrat? Defeating Trump is the most important thing ever, having to find a way to back out of

that rather. Actually, it turns out Howard Schultz, all along, I had no idea he was such a brilliant visionary. I just, I feel I have to support him. And the apotheosis of that is this thing I've been seeing going around this weekend. It's being pushed by Alyssa Milano and George Takei. But they're trying to get. Titans.

They're trying to get George Takei. Oh my God. Those are the two? Yeah. Yeah. Alyssa Milano and George Takei are trying to get people to sign on to a pledge to not say anything bad about any of the candidates running for president. I assume they mean Democratic candidates, but they're like, well, you sign a pledge

now to. No, I will not do that. To not criticize any of the Democratic candidates. I criticize my best friends. There's no way I would not criticize. Like, that's an absurd expectation. Also, what relationship do you have to politicians? Like, well, I mean, what I think what they seem to think is that, like, again, back to

the Bernie Hillary thing, they seem to think that Bernie's critiques of Hillary made her unelectable. Yeah. So they're like, if all the Democrats, if no one criticizes each other or attacks each other at all, then like, no matter who emerges will be a unified front, they will emerge sort of like, you know, a shimmering being of light. I mean, that's the thing. On the one hand, this does seem like a very cynical ploy to try to protect corporate Democrats

like Joe Biden from the sort of interrogation of the record that might lead people who haven't really been paying too much attention until now to be like, oh, this guy actually sucks. And I don't want to elect him like what happened to Joe Lieberman, among others. But on the other hand, a campaign with no criticism and no negative talk about any of the candidates kind of sounds like good vibes to me, you know, it just sounds like a sounds like a campaign of like just chill, cool vibes where we're all just sitting around talking about, you know, what could we do about it? Well, I mean, I would want to go one step further and say, let's just not talk about

any of the candidates, let's just talk about our emotional states, you know, just share that. Yeah, that's very Marianne of you. Just talk about how we feel. Well, as you said, like they're going to do a debate thing where it's selected randomly because there are so many people like it's sort of not fair to do like the tiered system. Yeah, they learned that the last time. And with Marianne on the Marianne debate, I think you said like they should just come

out and just say, I love you. I see this pledge as a very cynical way to stop Marianne, honestly, like, I don't think it's negative rhetoric, but Marianne knows exactly the time and in exactly the manner every candidate will die in. And this is one of her biggest advantages if she gets on that debate stage, and she goes up to like, you know, Jay Insleen is like, you know, cardiac arrest age 90 surrounded by two of your least favorite nieces. He just stops in his tracks.

No, that's that's dark magic. That's what Hickenlooper practices. Yeah, Marianne knows some dark magic, otherwise she'd be hopeless against Hickenlooper. No, Hickenlooper, you know, he goes to the rituals and he drinks the fracking fluid and he reads the entrails of all the animals killed by fracking. And that's how he gets his portents. What if Hickenlooper and and Williamson form like, not they don't become running mates. It's not like a cruise fee arena thing, but it's like, for this stage of the primaries,

they have a nonaggression pact, like they're sort of the magic caucus. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What if a shadow baby is birthed to attack one of the candidates? Who is the most vulnerable to a shadow baby attack? Maybe Beto. The shadow baby could cast a spell to project the image of a tunnel on the side of a brick

wall and then Joe Biden just runs right into it. Yeah. Yeah. Here's my proposal for the debates at the start of it and at the end. Everyone kisses. They all kiss. They all pair off and they kiss. I'm sorry, man.

I'm trying to be impartial that favors Williamson. Who do you think is the best at love energy? How about this? Instead of a debate, the cuddle puddle. Yeah, they should all be on just like, you know, the, remember the podiums, no podiums, just they're all hanging out on nice pillows. Yeah. Yeah.

No, they should have bead bags. They don't can't stand on one of those. They'll take Molly beforehand. How about that? Everyone takes Molly and then they'll just talk about their feelings. Could you imagine what Amy Klobuchar would say if she was feeling particularly good vibrations? Amy Klobuchar would show us psychedelics don't work because she just come up with new ways to abuse people.

It would just open up her third eye and she'd be like, oh, I could staple someone's sleeve to the desk and hit them. Be like the tech guys who go on ayahuasca journeys and come up with new ways to overwork people. Yeah. Or it's such a powerful experience for her so overwhelming to have, you know, her sort of inhibitions removed that she ends up snapping Tim Ryan's neck like Lenny with the fucking rabbits.

I mean, yeah, maybe who might say maybe she takes LSD or Molly and she just completely loses it. We see it Amy. We've never seen before. And she comes out there and she just has a policy proposal. So crazy. It's something like, you know, I think middle-class families should be able to refinance their medical debt.

Oh, wow. You're crazy for this one, Amy. We're traveling through the 2000 like through the 2001 monolith and she came back with that jump. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm kind of into this.

We might see a new Amy. Let Amy be Amy. Let Amy be Amy. Let Amy be Amy. Yeah. If we let Chappo be Chappo. We should also do that. Let Chappo be Chappo.

Chappo can only be Chappo. It's true. I got to take a shower of my ass snake. All right. Well, do we have any plugs for relief? Yeah. The European tour, the American expeditionary farce is coming to your town. There's only five towns in Europe.

So fortunately, we're hitting them all. London is sold out. Thank you, London. We might be adding a second show. Glasgow and Berlin both sold out. Good Lord. But tickets are still available in Dublin and Manchester. Go to chapeltraphouse.com slash tour.

Yeah. If you want to be a bloody gooner and a legend and a supporter of the greatest sport, it's forever known as mankind, AYSO. Come out and see us in Manchester, the city of football. Further plugs. May 19th at the hideout in Chicago, episode one, me, Britovo and CJ will be guest starring. This Wednesday, May 1st, Housing Works, Manhattan, Housing Works in Manhattan. Sold out.

Oh, it's sold out. All right. There might be a standby. I don't know. Bloody fool. Also, I will be at the Strand. This probably won't go up in time. It's going out tonight.

Okay. Well, I'll be at the Strand tomorrow to host Boscors and Carrows Book Launch, The Socialist Manifesto, so it's seven o'clock. We're going to ask them the hard-hitting questions. What about Venezuela? I'm going to ask about Venezuela. I'm going to ask him about how he feels about a poo. Why do you have an iPhone?

Yeah. Yeah. And it's a good fun. What's up with the Knicks? Ask him about that. Well, yeah. Yeah. So come on out.

It'll be fun. It's a good book. Good conversation. Felix, isn't E1 coming to the bellhouse? Oh, yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah.

I thought it was kind of early to plug that. Let me check. July 22nd at the bellhouse. That's what's up. You guys want to be on that, by the way? Yeah, sure. Yeah. Till next time, guys.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. I got bants in the coupe Bussin' out the coupe I got bants in the coupe Touch me, I'll shoot back Shake a lil' ass You get a lil' bag and take it to the store

Yellow cash You shake it real fast and get a lil' more I got bants in the coupe Bussin' out the coupe I got bants in the coupe