Chapo Trap House - 342 - The Cuts Stay In The Podcast (8/20/19)

Episode Date: August 20, 2019

We talk about a lot of shit in here, from Biden and Harris' flailing campaigns to Les Wexner's trust issues, and we even read some poetry. But mostly they requested I cut some potentially embarrassing moments and cursed ideas that I just didn't cut. Enjoy. COME SEE US PLAY CALL OF CTHULHU LIVE IN PROVIDENCE THIS FRIDAY: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/chapo-trap-house-plays-call-of-cthulhu-live-tickets-62234533164

No, someone was talking about the Virgil's question to Tulsi, and they were like, in 2019, how is it possible that just Chapo just doesn't have audio of this supposed question and answer? And I was like, sorry, we only have video and audio of this exchange, so I'll be on the lookout for that. Yeah. I'm so glad Virgil's, like, just all the people who are like, YouTube's hiding the amount of likes I have. I'm so glad they're yelling at him.

It's my greatest dream come true. That's what Tulsi is there for, to absorb all the crank energy. I feel like she liked this. I told Matt about it, but I had a substitute yoga teacher came in instead of my, like, tiny little muscular Malaysian woman. There was, like, this robust, like, very, like, hot blonde woman in her 30s, and I'm like, oh, okay. So she starts up the class, and all of a sudden this malifluous Minnesota accent comes through,

and she's just like, welcome to restorative yoga. So we're going to focus today on a fluidistana and building our breath and core strength, and whatever is comfortable for you, do that. So today we're going to set our intention, and I couldn't pay attention. I was completely distracted, and everyone else was acting like it was normal, and I was just looking around like it's no one else hearing this. It's one of the most, like, jarring American accents, because it's just a fucking Canadian accent.

I don't expect to find it in a fucking Brooklyn yoga studio. She's like, okay, so when you're in a playing position, you want your elbows to bend towards your feet before transitioning into downward duck. And it was like, I was there for it, but honestly it was more distracting than anything in the world. Anyway, I found you a wife. Fuck yeah. And she's, she does yoga.

She's hella buff. She's all lean muscle. You get the, you get the impression she can wrestle a gator. I do want to know why she left Minnesota to come here. I do too. I want to know everything about her. You and her could both have a conversation on that subject. Well, I, okay, it's very obvious why I came here.

I couldn't get a real job. Yeah. I still can't get a real job. I stopped trying. Felix, actually I need to get your, I need to get your comment on this. While you're in Iowa at the State Fair and just the state in general. I think, can I just say something real quick? Yeah.

Go for it. In this day and age with the American dream feeling more like an American nightmare feels more like the Iowa State unfair. Damn. Nevermind. You're not good enough for my yoga teacher. What? I think she liked that.

Well, no, I wanted to get your comment on the fact that both the State Fair, the Des Moines Register and just generally the people of Iowa have adopted the phrase Iowa nice to describe themselves. Okay. And I'm wondering how you feel about that. Well, um, okay. So there are like, that is like my favorite, uh, who just one of those like interchangeable guys we read every other week.

Like it was like, I was surprised how max boot max boot was like it was surprised to people in Iowa. Didn't beat my ass didn't throw my underwear so hard that my colon bled usually happens to me. But, uh, it's like, yeah, they're like nice people like anywhere really except for New York. Uh, Iowans, yeah, they can be super nice, but they're also like the most pissed Americans I ever met were Iowans because they're all like, they all have four brothers, everyone's

named Connor and Ian, uh, they all wrestle. They all just get the shit beaten out of them by their older brothers all the time. And they're just like, they're the people buying all the five finger death punch albums. Well, and, and Slipknot hometown heroes, Cory Booker from Slipknot's woke. That was the best part is that we got there and they had a listing of all of the acts from nineties, mainstays, hoody and the blowfish to relatively recent hit makers, change smokers. The only group that was sold out was fucking Slipknot. We will be editing that stop making the fucking episode, take two, Slipknot, wait, what did

you say? He said Slipknot. That's like a fucking band that opens for dream theater. What the fuck is that I did not say Slipknot, but the important thing that was known will ever know what I said because it will never be heard out of human ears is out. Cory Trevor, Cory Trevor from Slipknot is like, he's like, well, all those nineties in 2000, like except for kid rocks, the outlier kid rocks, like a MAGA shithead from Michigan though.

And rich. Yeah. He grew up super rich, yeah. He's like a Farmington Hills guys who repped Detroit, I believe. Classic Larry the Cable guy, class red neck face, I guess you call it. What we call bubification. Bumbification. Bumbification.

So yeah, the person who ran the political soapbox, the Des Moines register, we heard her can spiel probably a dozen times while we were there and she asked every single time before the candidate came out, you know, does anyone know what Iowa nice is that people just sort of murmur and she'd be like, OK, well, look to your right, look to your left. Both of those people are nice. Are they? That's Iowa nice. No, I don't mean I don't fucking know.

All right, let's start the show. This is this is Chappell. It's me, Will. We got Amber, Felix and Matt singing today. But to kick off the show, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,

do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, Success ira, or not, just next to that? We ready for that? chords and then we're gonna do that. and in fact, just the last one I recorded, that he was 100% murdered in his cell. Unfortunately, now I'll be having to release the following correction.

We were wrong. I was wrong. The Manhattan, New York City chief medical examiner issued their autopsy report and found that the cause of death was suicide by hanging himself from a bed sheet off a bunk bed in his cell. And that's that.

I'm reading right now from the medical examiner's report. It states here, we find conclusively that the cause of death was suicide. Although, and then it goes on, and I don't know why this is in the report. It goes on to say, the medical examiner then dusts it off their hands theatrically and said, and that's the end of that.

So, this will be the last time we ever talk about Jeffrey Epstein. I apologize. That was the last time I talked about it. I really got a little carried away. Yeah, yeah. I gotta say, I was getting messages from people who were like, Amber, I think you need to do an episode soon.

I'm not sure how Matt is doing. Yeah, no, I really thank them for the reality check. And now I can go on with my life knowing that there was nothing there. He had a lot of- As soon as it happened, I just said, look, I've been watching a lot of Coen brothers recently too, which has helped me through this troubling time

because you realize sometimes there are insane coincidences and sometimes there aren't. And you might never know. And also maybe there's a God, but he doesn't care. And don't try and figure out what he's saying. But it is like a very burn after reading moment where it's like, you won't necessarily know for sure what happened, and particularly because you will never

conceive of the stupidest possible contingencies. Like my friend suggested, he's like, if we later found out that a pedo priest broke in because he believed he had an agreement with God that if he killed Epstein, he would be forgiven. I'd be like, yeah, that makes sense. Or if a diddled Irish Catholic cop killed, I would be like, yeah, that makes sense.

It's all just completely, I'd be like, it's fine. For me also, it doesn't matter that much because it doesn't change the way I navigate the world. I've accepted that the whole thing is run by pedophile lizard billionaires a long time ago. It's not going to change my behavior in any way. Yeah, and if you are personally struggling with thoughts of suicide, we're going to put

the number out there, we're all sad. This is like a contrite episode. We're all sad that we lost him. Everyone's sad. That's what everyone's talking about. Okay, but you say that, but in The Guardian, when they reported on it first at the bottom, they had the number for good Samaritan Zill.

The NPR too, that makes the lab so fucking much. If you're feeling, because they needed to immediately smother it in liberal pieties about what? Oh, you don't think it was suicide? I guess you don't care about the bad conditions in America's prisons. Oh, you don't think it was suicide? I guess you're not worried about suicide awareness.

Wow, that's pretty fucked up of you. Well, as part of my apology for indulging in the, again, conspiracy theory that he was 100% definitely murdered and absolutely did not kill himself. As a contrition for that, I'll be linking to the Gravedigger's song, 1-800-SUICIDE. And I hope we can just have a listen to that. And you know, if you listen to that song,

those are, Jeffrey Epstein did everything they do in that song to kill himself. Jeffrey Epstein furthermore did the things they do in the 3-6 song, Grab the Gauge. He sewed his asshole shut and swallowed a grenade. How badly this man wanted to go. And it's like, why we're raising awareness today. We are all raising $3 million to set up a charity, 5K,

in Fort Wayne, Indiana, to raise awareness of our new ribbon campaign for suicides in Manhattan Correctional Center. I just think we all have to, you know, just accept that pedophiles have run the world since, you know, prior to capitalism. And, you know, really focus on the fact that like Bernie Sanders is the only anti-pedophile candidate.

Yes. And suicide or not, or not. Yeah, not. But anyway, regardless of how he died, you know, it's about how he lived. It's about how he lived, which was a man, a human being, like we all are, whose vast and unspeakable crimes were facilitated

by the United States government at nearly every step. That's what's important, folks. Yeah, and people are going to say this is nothing like Tupac. I was around for Tupac. This is exactly like Tupac. I hate those all. I hate old heads. Yeah, old heads piss me off, dude.

I hate old heads say that. Fuck. I hate old heads say this is nothing like the Franklin Credit rate. All right, so, yeah, apologies again. This will be the, we'll not be talking about Jeff. We haven't seen any more until about 20 minutes into this podcast a little bit later.

But for then, let's check in. You know, we were just in the Iowa State unfair. Covering, covering. You know what, it's a shuck. Covering the big show, the big show. And I want to, you know, obviously we talked about Sanders and all the candidates we did see. But I'd like to now tune in on two of the candidates

we did not get a chance to see on the old soapbox. And let's begin with Joe Biden. Diamond Joe. Joe. Front runner. Joe Biden. Unstoppable juggernaut of electability. Front runner.

I wasn't there, obviously, but I heard good things. I heard Joe Biden went up to the butter cow and mistook it for a Buxom woman and said, oh, there, you make me want to put on my reading glasses. And the crowd was delighted. Then he just licked the horn of the butter cow, just licked it, clean off, and said, oh, they don't make them like they used to.

They sure make them look like that, huh? And everyone liked it. They loved it. The thing you got to remember about Joe Biden is, he's the front runner. Yeah. He's the most electable candidate. He's the one who can beat Trump.

Stop talking about any negative thing about him. There is, there's very little. Like anything bad you point out about Joe Biden, literally everyone has done it. It's weird though. He is still the one to beat, but he is rapidly deteriorating. I mean, more so, like to the point, to the point where they have been clearly covering this up

for years now. Amber, everything is fine. Everything is, it's normal. This is in normal. How long has he been like this? Amber, he is a normal presidential candidate who is leading all the polls, and leading all the polls, only candidate who can defeat Trump,

most important thing, got to get behind him. However, according to his allies, they are, quote, have floated scaling back events to limit gaps. Now, gaps, come on. People are making, they're making too big a deal about the gaps. Everybody makes gaps. Doesn't matter.

It's normal. I look, I'm, this is something to do with age or slowing down or anything. I'm like 60 years younger than Joe Biden. I have also walked up to Tulsi Gabbard and asked her if she's my granddaughter. This is in the hill. It says here, allies to Joe Biden have been floating

the idea of altering the former vice president's schedule in an effort to reduce the gaps he has made in recent days. The allies, growing increasingly nervous about Biden's verbal flubs, have said it's an approach that has been suggested to campaign officials on the heels of the former vice president's stumbles. Biden has a tendency to make the blunders late in the day, as allies say, particularly after a long swing on the road

like he has had the last week in Iowa. Okay, say something needs to be done to give the candidate more downtime as the candidate intensifies, the campaign intensifies in the fall. Just run that back for a second and said, he has a tendency to make these verbal blunders as the day goes on.

They literally like said around sundown and then like, they were like, okay, have that poor kid if he doesn't. That'd be a great campaign between Trump and Biden and Biden's big argument is look, I don't sundown until 4, 4.30 p.m. Trump's sundowning by nine in the morning. To be fair, he does start to want,

but who knows when he actually wakes up? Also, Trump keeps later nights. He's up at 3 a.m. talking about like... Seems like four hours a night. He seems four hours a night, wakes up, drinks like seven diet coax, like just has hameroids watching Fox and Friends and he's like, are you gonna stop having the tires

on Peter O'Gillicuddy on? He's so nasty to me. He has to be put on the Trump Christmas card list. I said no. And so it's like erratic, but Joe Biden knows his schedule. And also just physically like Joe Biden actually is spry and Trump has bed sores. Yeah, no, Trump like, Trump,

how could I describe him like a fleshy slinky? Right, right. That's how he moves. I'm not sure what's going on in terms of bones underneath that, but it's not regular. Yeah, Joe Biden's like, he's up and at them. Like if he sees hair, he wants to smell, he's smelling it. It's the difference between Baron Harkonnen

and the Pardasha Emperor. Yes, yes, 100%. I would even like, Biden said he was like, like basically threatened to punch Trump. And it's like, I know it's a push-up competition. Also pumped, both, both, both. And then Trump called him crazy Joe. Right, now like he could be the,

he also could probably like and might punch Trump, but it would be like, you know that X-man, the blob? Yeah. His gut would like just sort of suck you in. Envelop you. Yeah, it would be like that. To your point Amber though, I think one of his aides did use the word, you know,

these happens as the sun goes down. He said that to a reporter. And then the reporters mysteriously crashed his car into a palm tree at 120 miles an hour. That is really mysterious. So as you guys know, I'm like looking with Hickenlooper out, unfortunately. You're right. Oh yeah.

It's a dark guy. I don't really. Sorry, man. I don't really have a candidate. You'll be okay? You know, life goes on. Will I get over it? No, will life go on?

Yes. Well, I'm not a Hickenlooper as is why. Yeah, no, well, life never ends then. Serving hell forever in Colorado Springs. But, you know, Amy Klobuchar, she hasn't responded to any of my contact requests, but one thing I can do is work pro bono for the Biden campaign.

My dream of going on cable news and going like everything he's doing is fine. You know what he meant. I want to be that you know what he meant. Like Simone Sanders is killing it. She goes on there, you know, pretty much every other day when people are like, what did Joe Biden mean when he said he was friends with Nathan Bedford Forrest?

And she goes, you know what he meant. Pretty good. I think, look, there are a lot of TV networks. She can take half. I can take the other half. And yeah, does it seem bad to like someone who's sort of like untrained in politics that you run out of brainpower, you could say,

as the sun goes down? Well, you know, when does the bank close? I don't know, five. Stock market closes at three. Good luck going to the post office at eight. What do you think the rest of the world's any different? You know, I think there's something suspicious about a guy who's like, just, oh, he's ready to,

he's ready to talk to whoever at any time. It's like, that's a salesman personality. Joe Biden's not a salesman. Joe Biden's like a good, true- They call him middle class Joe. He's the, he's true like American stock. He's like, he's the guy at your friend's wedding who you don't know if he's like your friend's uncle

or just like an old person who wandered in. He's wearing a pole over windbreaker. He elbows you and says, the bride's a smoke show. And you don't know if it's good or bad. That's true heartland values. Just continuing on here in this Hill article, it says here, he needs to be a strong force on the campaign trail, but he also has to pace himself, said one ally

who has talked to members of the campaign team and others in the broader Biden world about how to move forward. The ally said it was unclear whether the campaign would make any changes to Biden's schedule, particularly because Biden was criticized recently for not doing as many events as his democratic rivals. Okay, so you don't like him,

you don't like him going out there and saying that like him and Jesse Helms cut each other's palms and became blood brothers, but you also wanted to do more events. It seems to me like, I wonder why Joe Biden is held to a different double standard than other candidates. Is it because he's Irish? Maybe.

Is it because he's from Delaware? Definitely. And it goes here, I think you'll see the same schedule and maybe even more Joe Biden, one ally said. Let's go. Everyone wants to see Joe Biden be Joe Biden. If he's held back in any way, that's almost the antithesis of who he is.

That is true. I do want to see more Joe Biden. Just another hit from Bidenland. This is actually just today. His Joe Biden's wife, Dr. Jill Biden, had this to say of him and his campaign. So if you're looking at that, you've got to look at the polls.

And you know, a lot of the times I say, oh, you know, the polls don't mean anything. But if they're consistent and if they're consistently saying the same thing, I think you can't dismiss that. So yes, your candidate might be better on, I don't know, healthcare than Joe is, but you've got to look who's going to win this election.

And maybe you have to swallow a little bit and say, okay, I personally like so-and-so better, but your bottom line has to be that. We have to beat Trump. She later added, you know, you may like another candidate better, but you have to look at who's gonna win. And Joe is that person.

Well, just because Jill Biden swallows doesn't mean we have to. There is no stronger endorsement for a candidate than his wife going out there and being like, look, I know many of you think he sucks. I understand that more than anyone. It's like somebody's mom going to the schoolyard and yelling at kids for picking on her son.

Oh, so you don't want to be friends with my son because he's stupid and he smells bad, huh? You know what that makes you? Have you seen the real, the RCP poll on Oscar? No. My beautiful boy Oscar. It's literally like, like their strategy is to like treat the presidential race like a child's birthday party,

where you have to invite everyone and everyone has to be invited. Everybody has to give Joe Biden a Valentine. Oh, sweetheart, I think Cupid broke his bow out on you. Hope he's got a warranty. I could go to, well, I don't know, the JCPenney models are having a convention here. Honey, you're straight out of the Sears catalog.

And probably the other person who probably knows Joe Biden as well as his wife is of course, former president Barack Obama, who according to Vanity Fair had this to say, as the New York Times reported on Friday, Obama has taken an active interest behind the scenes in Joe Biden's presidential campaign. Not it seems to help his former vice president beat out

the rest of the crowd field of 2020 helpers, but to shield him. Obama counseled Biden several times before he entered the race in the spring the Times reported, and the former president cast his doubts about the pending campaign. You don't have to do this, Joe, Obama told Biden, a source familiar with their conversations

told the paper, you really don't. For the love of God, Joe. After Biden entered the race anyway, telling him that he could never forgive himself if he didn't personally try to oust Trump, Obama began pushing Biden to expand his aging inner circle according to the Times. His advisors needed to ensure Biden

didn't embarrass himself or damage his legacy. Too late. I will say this, I don't think he's embarrassed. Yeah, how could he embarrass his legacy? His legacy is going out and just jabbering like a member. But I mean more than I don't think he has the capacity for shame. Nobody has been in the Senate that long possibly could.

He's really proud of himself all the time, no matter what he says. Yeah, what does Barack Obama like think his legacy is beyond just being Barack Obama's vice president? I think that's what really what he means, is don't tarnish my legacy. Exactly, don't make people go start asking the inevitable question, wait, why did Obama,

the most left-wing president and politician ever, pick this guy as VP? Yeah, he literally dropped down from a paraglider or whatever to have this conversation with him and then went off to jet ski with Richard Braince. Yeah, no, I'm sure Obama's loving it. We're like at every democratic debate. They're bringing up like, Joe, why did you dramatically

escalate the drug war and lock a generation of like young black men behind bars or whatever. And he's just like, ask Obama. Yeah, yeah. Ask Obama, he likes me. He's my best friend. He supports everything I do. I'm true.

Listen, I talked to Barack about that. He said, Joe, you had to do what you had to do. Joe Biden is already from casino just with the bugged grocery store, just giving everything away. Because people are perfectly content to just not think about it until he's like, Obama likes everything that I've ever done. It's also like it's a Danny McBride kind of like level

of confidence and ability to like inculcate other people into what he's doing to the point where they just uncomfortably are just trying to avoid him. I'm not sure anyone of any great success is really boosting for Biden. Like, has anyone really gone to the math forum? Like, they're just kind of like, well, we have to beat Trump. Is anyone singing Biden's praises?

We're looking at him. New York Times bestseller, former Top 100 player of the Specialist Half-Life 1 mod in 2001, or 2004. Wow, I'm getting like Joe Biden. I don't even remember when this shit was. No, I feel like they're all like splitting their time. I mean, all the unindicted Epstein conspirators are sort of throwing their lot between Harris.

Buttigieg, especially, Buttigieg is fucking caking up. He may end up just getting like just probably the highest ratio of donos to his actual supporters out of anyone, right? It's just like got to be like $1 million per actual voter at this point. But no, Biden, something about it. No one can really muster the energy

to be like he's a great guy, because he's just perpetually embarrassing them. I mean, the closest I've ever gotten with it is just winding people up on Twitter. And then I'm just finally like, what do you actually like about Joe Biden's record or career in government? And the only response I ever get is, pfft.

Yeah, real nice good faith question you're asking there, buddy. No way I'm engaging that. That old trick where you ask somebody, name one thing you actually like about this guy. I'm wise to hear filthy, filthy schemes. Well, there are like literally 20 other candidates in this race with identical politics to him.

So like, what do you see in him that you have to support? Well, that's what. But I think it's just some invariable. I mean, you know, it's just what Joe Biden said. She just says, look at the polls. He's leading the polls. He's the front runner. And the thing is, if you look at all of the Democrats,

as Democrats as they match up against Donald Trump in a general election right now, they're pretty much all beating him. I mean, put whatever stock you want in that. Yeah, he's not way ahead. It means nothing. He doesn't have like the amulet that like, you know, he's the only one or whatever.

But moving on from Biden, you know, like we I think I asked this question like a couple of weeks ago on the show is that, you know, in light of his, you know, his verbal flubs and stubs, like whatever you want to say, it'll be interesting to see how much sort of elite opinion and, you know, party grandees begin to shift their support away from him, hedge their bets. And if so, who do they shift to? And I think the obvious choice is going to be Kamala Harris.

And I think we're already starting to see just a little bit of that. And I think she understands that quite well. I think she's very shrewd about that and is beginning to play to that crowd. Courtesy of Bloomberg we have just from this weekend. I believe in capitalism. Kamala Harris courts big donors in the Hamptons.

Tesla's and Maserati's line the street as Kamala Harris greeted guests sipping drinks from plastic cups with her name on them and eating cinnamon sugar donuts from Driesen's, wait, Driesen's at a fundraiser hosted by movie executive Jamie Petrak-Patrikoff and his wife Kelly as the summer of Democratic fundraisers rolled on in East Hampton. Going on she'd also done events at Martha's Vineyard, blah, blah, blah, you know, yeah, Midsummer Island.

But no, he goes on here says, Harris has positioned herself as a moderate candidate in the Democratic spectrum that can appeal to both the wealthy and the working class, attendees said, even in the backyards of the millionaires, Harris's message remained the same as in rural Iowa. She continued to push her 3 AM agenda by which she means- You up? I'm dropping dick off.

Well, Amber, you're not far off. Her 3 AM agenda by which she means issues that keep middle class Americans up at night. Did she steal that from Taco Bell? Remember? We need a fourth meal for America's energy policy. The pursuit of Moss happiness. It's just like America is extremely drunk and it needs

like some ballast. America, it's 3 AM. You got to drive home. What are you going to do? Are you going to risk it? America, just close one eye. So she goes, Harris, again, at the house of movie producers in East Hampton, you know, you can read

into that unindicted Epstein co-conspirators. She goes, I believe in capitalism, but capitalism is not working for most people. She's like the fucking mortician at the beginning of the godfather. I believe in capitalism and raised my daughter into capitalist fashion. She sat on the patio steps to the Patrikoff house

looking out at a peach orchard among flower and herb beds. She said she recognized people who have become successful by working hard and following rules, but that the middle class needs help. Harris, again, tried to clarify her stance on health care, a topic that tripped her up in early democratic debates. I have not been comfortable with Bernie's plan, she said of Sanders Medicare for All proposal,

and explained how a Harris administration would leave room for private insurance. I think Bernie, I mean, Medicare for All would also leave room for private insurance. It's not how long. Who would have predicted this, by the way, considering, because when she came into the race, everyone was like, no, she says it.

She says it's on their website. She was a co-sponsor of the fucking bill. It's real. It's like, yeah, they're all lying. They're literally all lying, and they're just, it's a question of when they're gonna drop it. And her defense is, again, not, I was lying, of course, or even I changed my mind.

It's that, oh no, you don't understand. I'm stupid. I'm very stupid. I had no idea. I don't understand bills, or laws, or anything. I co-sponsored the bill without reading it, or thinking about it. Exactly.

Look, he's an old man. I didn't want to defeat disappointed. He seems sad, and he's yelling. His grandkids don't call him. I think some of my nurses are Filipino. All right, I'll sponsor your stupid bill, Grandpa. Yeah, but like, goes to show the importance of, you know, does someone have a long record

of supporting things like single-payer health care, or are they posers? Where you been? And then the Daily Beast wrote this up. Kamala says she's uncomfortable with Bernie's health care plan two years after co-sponsoring it. She says, yeah, again, at a fundraiser

in the Hamptons this weekend, she says, I think almost every member of the United States Senate who's running for president, and many others, have signed on to a variety of plans in the Senate. And I have done the same, Harris said, according to her mom. That is the most, I'm sorry. Look, we've all signed lots of bills. It's almost like it's the thing that we do.

It's the job that's going to be. We've all signed bills, but that is the most insanely like distance, distant like, what is a bill, really? She goes, all of them are good ideas, which is why I support them. No, they're not all good ideas. And I support Medicare for all.

But as you may have noticed over the course of many months, I've not been comfortable with Bernie's plan, the Medicare for all plan. This is about understanding, again, that healthcare should be a right, not a privilege. And it's also about being smart, Harris said in August, 2017. So it's not only about what is morally and ethically right, Harris argued.

It also makes sense from a fiscal standpoint, or if you want to talk about it as a return on investment for taxpayers. That's what she was saying two years ago. She was really trying to thread the plan in. Now she says, there's a difference between signing on to a good idea and running on a plan. And the Harris campaign spokesperson, Ian Sams,

he noted that Sanders is running on a Medicare for all, but was nevertheless a sponsor of a bill from Senator Brian Schatz to establish a public option. Senator Harris was hearing from lots of voters real concerns, specifically about proactively abolishing private insurance, the four year transition, middle class tax sites. And so she came up with her own plan to adjust for those,

frankly, that is better than his, said Sams. So Harris's former healthcare plan differs from Sanders' model in a variety of ways. It aims to phase in Medicare for all over the course of a decade, as opposed to four years, and allow private insurers to offer plans through Medicare if they comply with strict government rules. Yeah, we'll phase it in over the course

of three presidential administrations and nothing will be derailed in that time. No, I mean, like, Barron Trump is going to let that be implemented without any impeding. He might, he personally might, but he doesn't want the job, he just wants to hang out. Well, yeah, but he's at the chosen one. So there you go.

Again, I would just say keep an eye on, as Biden continues to, how about the ham on the hook? You mean charm crowds, shows experience, not annoy everybody by holding events late at night. Have you ever considered that? Maybe he's considerate towards reporters. Well, we'll see if some of the night owls ship their support to Kamala, because she's the only one

talking to them, and she observes genius hours like Donald Trump. What can I say? We can't have my dream ticket of Biden and Buttigieg. You might. That would be fucking awesome, dude. You might. Dude, take it.

Do you feel if you just jump ship on Klobuchar now? I mean, look, she's... First in your heart. She's first in my heart, if Minnesota secedes, I will help her win military governorship of the independent state. She won't need your help with that. She'll just be standing on a mountain of skulls

and a metal bikini. Yeah, but I could knock on doors. But I think Biden and Buttigieg, that would be fucking awesome. It would be like a cool buddy movie, like Buttigieg would say something in a different language, and Biden would go, hey, it's all Greek to me. It would basically be so cool.

It would be Dirty Grandpa. Yeah, it would be epic, dude. The beloved film that we all loved. Did you like Dirty Grandpa? Yeah, you want to see it for four to eight years? Get Biden and Buttigieg in there. Can we cut this, because this is literally going to happen. I like literally I'm going to cause this to happen,

and it's going to suck so much fucking ass. All right, well, so yeah, don't want to, again, lathe of heaven that into a reality. So enough with the sorted spectacle of campaigns, politicians, votes, you know, the fake politics. Let's go back talking about the real politics, which is, of course, Jeffrey Epstein and everything surrounding his life and death,

which provide a kind of, you know, a skeleton key through which to unlock an understanding about the nature of power, money, and government, and how it is exercised in the real world. Not the fake world of, you know, the Iowa political soapbox. And I kind of, look, it's fun to talk about, because it is genuinely fascinating to me,

but I do think there is something about this case, or Jeffrey Epstein and his life, that I think needs to become kind of a stand-in for how we talk about billionaires in our society in general, right? Like, his life and the things he did, and everything surrounding it, and all like the weird mysteries and conspiracies

and questions about it, is just another way of discussing what it means to live in a society ruled by billionaires. And, you know, ever since his death, we've seen a number of articles attempt to kind of metabolize this new reality into a kind of official narrative. You saw, we talked a bit about it at the beginning

with this idea about, like, you know, suicide is serious. Like, if you know anyone who's struggling, call this hotline. You know, neglect in our prison system, very serious. People kill themselves all the time, blah, blah, blah. That's the real story. Yeah, that's the real story here, or just a number of ways that we've attempted

to kind of shift the focus. And I now have two selections here that I thought were especially good attempts to kind of shift and reformat. Like, the amoeba has been sort of struck and needs to kind of, like, reform itself to fit a new mold. The first one comes courtesy of the Wall Street Journal,

the business section. Headline, trusting Jeffrey Epstein taught a retail legend a hard lesson. Be careful whom you trust. That was... L. Brands founder Leslie Wexner, who accused the disgraced financiers of stealing vast sums of money,

recalls his father's warning about too much optimism. So, I mean, is this Les Wexner's people plotting this story? Or just a fan of Les Wexner? Like, no, that is the most obvious fucking... Les Wexner was, like, off my mind for a second, and then that story made me literally think that he personally killed Jeffrey Epstein. Well, if you look into Wexner,

Wexner's just is forgetting the fact that he gave Epstein, you know, a quarter-billion dollars in a fucking mansion in the... Even the plane and power of attorney. He also himself has an insane life. In the 90s, his main logistics company was fucking Air America. Literally, Iran Contra asked the fucking CIA planes

that got shot down over Nicaragua and started the whole scandal. Well, I guess he'd like them to just throw those planes away, but, you know, maybe it's good to reuse things. He goes, Leslie Wexner was among the pathfinders for American business in China in the 1970s, shunning the official channels in Beijing for Shanghai, making big advancements on essentially a handshake.

I just met a businessman somewhere, and he trusted me, and I trusted him. And we started doing things. Mr. Wexner, the 81-year-old founder of L Brands, said in a talk at Harvard Center for Public Leadership, if trust helped make Mr. Wexner a retailing legend, though, it is tormenting him now. Mr. Wexner had a personal and professional relationship

with accused sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein. How could a man who mass billions in selling bras, blue jeans, and bath salts to women put so much trust in Mr. Epstein for two decades? How indeed? Mr. Wexner claims- How could a man that sold ballcags and rope really get mixed up with a shady guy like that?

Mr. Wexner claims his former associate has appropriated vast sums of money. I'm so sorry, man. It's a question that brings into focus the role trust plays in American business. Long seen as nearly essential as money for the economy, it is as powerful as it is dangerous. Trust serves as the secret sauce

in every transaction, business plan, and employment arrangement. Yeah, that's the secret sauce. No way. But behind every Ponzi scheme, market meltdown and corporate fraud lies a serious case of misplaced trust. It is so awesome to like, okay, your friends with Jeffrey Epstein for like four decades,

there's just endless like weird shit you get little glimpses of. And then when he finally fucking dies, you're like, you get an article place. It's like, actually Jeffrey Epstein's friend's problem is that he's too good of a person. That's fucking incredible. The Wall Street Journal fucking owns, dude.

That would a great publication. Mr. Wexner wasn't available for comment and he has rarely spoken publicly about Mr. Epstein. At Harvard a decade ago, he owned up to making a bad judgment calls that at time didn't seem unethical, but in hindsight were clearly ill advised. Following a moral compass can be tough and complicated,

he said, but necessary. It's literally not, you have money for teams and teams of lawyers. Yeah. Even the most moral among us make mistakes that have shadowed us. This is tough for Mr. Wexner, who spent much of his time and fortune

trying to carve out a legacy that doesn't resemble Mr. Epstein's. What, through the Victoria's Secret Angels program? Like, how does that not reflect what Epstein was up to? Anyway. Well, I mean, one, they're adults. Okay. When asked what he wanted to be known for,

Mr. Wexner recently said he doesn't want to be remembered as the guy who created the sexiest thongs or comfiest hip-huggers. No one remembers who sold the most togas in Rome, he said. They remember Caligula, that's for sure. Yeah. You should hope at this point that that's what you'll be remembered for.

He has spent decades giving away millions of various causes, including Ohio State University, the United Way and children's hospitals. But Mr. Wexner acknowledged in the same talk that there's a flip side. People will remember the great villains more than they remember the great heroes.

Joker's trick. No, I do, it's almost like a humble brag type thing. It's like, oh, everyone's gonna remember me as the greatest bra inventor of all time. It's my curse. And it's like, well, no, we'll remember you for something far different now. Don't worry about it, pal.

You beat it. You beat it. I mean, truth is no one's gonna fucking remember this guy. There's, he's the vice-roy of Ohio. There are a billion fucking guys like this who just like someone you've never heard of who controls, like his personal wealth is in the tens of billions.

He controls, you know, around hundreds of billions of dollars of wealth. He just like, if you lived in this state, he kind of affected every asset, every factor of your life. He did, God knows what in his life. And then they just die at age like 100 and fucking 50 and nothing happens.

So he'll have no legacy. His legacy will be the thing that allowed him to do whatever, which is no one will fucking think about him. Did one of Wexner's other personal attorneys was murdered before he was about to testify in an offshore banking scandal case? It was mob related, yeah, because his air logistics was the CIA front airline, Southern Air Transport.

His ground logistics was a mob controlled firm from Pittsburgh. Moving on, real quick, just laying Maxwell at In-N-Out Burger. Okay. Okay, is it double, double, pap photo op gold or animal style Psyop? What do you got, folks?

Okay, I was getting settled down for a while. I really was, I was settling down. I was like, you know what, anything could have happened. Who knows? I don't think he killed himself, but honestly, the number of things that could have happened are beyond my ability to understand. I can't even conceive of the stupidest.

Exactly, who could know anything? But, and then, and then that picture came out. First, there was the leak story about how she shacked up with some billionaire in, in Massachusetts. And I was like, oh, that's weird. And then that fucking picture came out. And in my head, I'm like, okay, I honestly must be seeing this thing wrong because in a world where they sneak

into the fucking shoe and kill this guy and cover it up, she's not walking around getting burgs in the LA. That's not a reality that makes sense. And then the fucking photograph is fake. But that's not, yes. The photograph is fake. In fact, there's an article today from the Daily News confirming that it's fucking fake.

There's a photo, there's a picture, there's an ad in the background for the movie Good Boys is coming out this weekend that was not, that is not there because that is a very recognizable in and out in LA that people know what the fucking ad is. And it's not that. Somebody fucking Photoshopped that in there. Very canny viral marketing by In-N-Out Burger.

And Good Boys. And Good Boys, yeah. Yeah, they're gonna do a thing where, you know, the 10,000s double W bite into has a golden ticket to visit Little St. James. I like the idea that like the only person who could break this open was like Joey's World Tour. He's like, I know that In-N-Out Burger.

But like, what does that mean? I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this information. That somebody faked a photograph to make it look like she was in LA, holding a book about CIA agents who got killed in the line of duty. What? Matt, I think it's someone in particular

who's hated you since high school and has found a way to fuck with you. I think it might be, it might be. It's gotta be something like that. Well, did you bully anyone? No, I was a good boy. Like the movie? Like the movie?

Who's sending you a message, Matt? I like the CIA book. To Giselle and whoever she's sending a message to, can you just text each other? I'm sick of seeing people talk on the timeline when they can just give each other a call. No, because it's like, honestly, at this point, it's either I'm being tormented by a specific person

or my other theory is that this entire case, the entire Epstein thing with its baroque intricacies, with its, because we've talked forever on the show about how everything feels in a stasis. And this case, even if we know in your heart, you're never gonna know what happened. It just feels like a crack and a seam in the wall, something to grab onto, to climb on.

Just like a peek through the veil. And that makes me think, and it's so entertaining, even though it's horrible, it's so riveting and you could just stare at it forever. It feels like that our collective consciousness is leasing the DMT before our society dies. I feel like we get a lot of that, though. I feel like, I mean, you just described Trump winning.

Everything felt like it was in a stasis, and then it's like. I don't think, I think it's different. Because Trump winning is he won an election. This is a thing that you can look at any angle of it and none of it makes sense. May I suggest just binge watching some Coen brothers. It's not totally one for one, but those are good burgers, Walter.

It's not like totally randomly, and sometimes they're coincidences. Sometimes they're not random. And you know what? And you will never know. And part of life is about accepting that. You don't know the grand plan. You don't know if it's coincidence.

You don't know if anyone is orchestrating anything. You don't know. You cannot keep looking at alphabet suit and trying to figure out what the plot is. Well, no, I mean, that's, I mean, I'm not saying it's like one for one with Trump being like, no events like one for one, and especially not that. They're too dissimilar.

But what I'm saying is that like everything for the last, what, like eight or nine years has felt like it's in stasis. And the defining trait isn't that things like this never happened. It's that they happen enough to make you question if stasis is breaking. And it, but enough, enough, enough to like, enough to make you feel like you're going insane.

I will say that, yes, like there is something distinctive about this where it's something that feels like it happened. Like it wasn't just something that got immediately digested in sort of the new cycle hysteria. I mean, I think it'll be a lot of, you know, sound and fury signifying nothing. And most of those lizard people are still just going along like nothing happened to them.

But it does feel like something happened. Right. It's like, we're all seeing this right. Fargo is teaching my goddamn yoga class and everyone finally realizes that. And they're like, yeah, that's a little weird. I'll admit that's a little weird. Right.

But what I'm saying is like part of what drives you insane is the stasis of everything. But part of what makes you doubly insane is the idea that you're going to get out of it. It's not even that. It's not understand it. It's like, get a grip. It's moved just even intellectually beyond.

Like, yeah, the idea that it's going to be some sort of rallying cry to bring down the oligarchy. Obviously that's never going to happen. But it's just, there's just all these crannies and what felt like just a sheer rock face. That's what drives you insane. We were talking like, just to shout out quickly, Matthew Brady said this a couple of days ago

when we were talking about it. And he said that like, it just feels like we're living in level nine of a James Elroy novel. And I'm not certain what's going to happen if we as a society hit level 10. Yeah. That's kind of what it feels like to me. But just to warn you, dear listener and dear co-host,

away from staring too long into the abyss. This is my second news story about this. And it comes courtesy not of The Wall Street Journal, but a rather more niche publication called Fatherly. I've never heard of this publication before. But courtesy of Fatherly, there is an article here titled Conspiracy Theories About Jeffrey Epstein's Suicide, Harm Kids. OK.

Which is incredibly funny because it's like, yeah, that's what's harming kids. That's what about this case is harming kids. So it says here, conspiracy theories about Jeffrey Epstein's suicide are everywhere. And they're damaging to kids' perceptions of truth, authority, and democracy. He should call it repressed, Fatherly.

So it goes here. This weekend, President Donald Trump promoted a video created by conservative comedian Terrence Williams claiming that the Clintons orchestrated Jeffrey Epstein's prison death. The president, who is no stranger to promoting conspiracy theories, pushed the video to his official Twitter feed in spite of Epstein's death being confirmed as a suicide

by his very own Justice Department. Did he mean it? Probably not. But the harm is still done. What Trump and the Clinton body count crowd felt to grasp is that conspiracy theories are deeply toxic to families and can have long lasting detrimental effects on children. Look, my twin boys are 16 years old,

and they are dead set on the fact that Santa Claus exists still. You're giving my son Braille in an unreality issue with this. Stop it. They spread a distrust of malignant government and authority that can undermine democracy and even lead to violent ideological extremism. The theory that conspiracies can harm kids is not in itself a conspiracy.

In fact, it's based on core principle of the science of parenting. Children look to adults to fulfill developmental needs. Adults help kids understand the world and their place in it. Unless they're pedophiles. Adults also provide security and stability. Unless they're pedophiles. When adults are loose with the facts or bend them to their will.

Or pedophiles. Like when they espouse conspiracy theories, these developmental needs are destabilized. Kids can't decipher fact from fiction like an adult. Their world is instead upended. I mean, the fucked up thing here is that adults absolutely cannot decipher fact and fiction at all anymore. Absolutely.

Nobody can. Nobody can. I sure as shit can't. When adults become conspiratorial, they sow distrust on the government and children. I mean, I'm sorry. Isn't it a healthy distrust of government? Shouldn't that be inculcated in children?

No, no, no. Yeah. I have raised my children to just get in the back of a van the second someone offers them candy. The world is good and kind to me. I mean, obviously, you want to raise kids with some sense of security or they turn out all weird and nervous.

But you do slowly introduce skepticism about the world to them. Otherwise, they're just going to be these naive rubes that get well predated on by pedophiles. Worse yet, conspiracies can cause children to feel as if they are actively threatened by powerful people offending these senses of stability. That's the entire story.

When a conspiracy causes a trusted adult to become paranoid, that sense of instability becomes more acute and results in depression and anxiety. OK, I'm sorry. Like this is just really upsetting to me. Does this guy know that Jeffrey Epstein already went to jail? That's conspiracy. What a trafficking children.

A fucking sweetheart deal after abusing children. Like, I feel like he doesn't know. It sounds like these are just accusations. Yeah. Which father wrote this? Dylan Baker from happiness. Deep cut. Trump, of course.

This is Simon Pegg and the boys. You're a good boy, Huey. Don't go to MCC. Trump, of course, is no stranger to conspiracy theories. He's championed such intrigues as Senator Ted Cruz's father being complicit in the JFK assassination, also true, and birtherism, which attacked Obama's citizenship. While many of Trump's supporters are also conspiratorial-minded,

Jeffrey Epstein's death has revealed a vein of conspiracy on the left as well. There are plenty of liberal-minded individuals floating the idea that President Trump himself had a hand in silencing his old pal Epstein to protect himself from being implicated in child trafficking and child rape scandal. He gets a half right there.

That is the liberal side of this. The left-wing side of it comes all. That is horseshoe theory comes right back around. Clinton body count definitely to Clinton's out of the open. That's the beauty of this thing. If it has any sort of pedagogical value, you might be able to use it to shake people of their knee-jerk partisanship.

It's like they're both bad. It's certainly an anti-elite story. Yeah, they're both bad. There's no good rich people. There's no good powerful people in these stories. There's no, oh, the ones of the D or the R next to their name. There are the white hats. There's no one over a certain degree of income

that isn't a pedophile. Yes. Framing the president of the United States as a secretive killer, covering up his dastardly deeds with children, is a deeply toxic idea. A child who hears these conspiracies and internalizes them could develop a deep mistrust of political leaders that could poison their faith in democracy.

And when enough people lose faith in democracy, then the country becomes destabilized. Is this an Epstein joint? Well, I hope you're happy talking about Epstein. Now my son's a fucking carless. You know what? He won't take off the fucking beret at the dinner table. You know what?

My bird. It might be fucking Epstein, because I don't know if you guys know this in the early aughts. Epstein and and Harvey Weinstein founded radar, the magazine explicitly so that they could buy and bury stories about them. Yeah, also Epstein has a history. Like he paid that guy to write for national review.

We got our jail. He did a PR thing where these reporters were taking like $600 checks to plant stories in like the national review about science, a philanthropist, Jeffrey Epstein, and those motherfuckers still have jobs and blue check marks. It's like you sell out 600 bucks for a fucking pedophile, and you're fine with it, and they're not fired. They're not ashamed of themselves.

None of them have committed hurry, carry. All right, I draw the line at going after people's jobs. We need to have enough canceling going on, and it scares children to cancel people. But it just shows the like absolute rot, like no one has any moral sense of anything. You think yourself as a journalist, you'd think somebody giving you a $600

to do any promotional article would give you qualms, let alone a fucking just released pedophile, but not even for a second. Do you think about it? It rules so hard that it was the national review that published this. Among others, yeah. So it goes, of course, that's the whole point

of conspiracy theories, and that is exactly why Russia has weaponized them through social media. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. You guys. All right, rolling again. As they condemn this conspiracy theory, the true interesting one, they bring it all back to speed.

Actually, no, this other dumb, idiot conspiracy theory, that's the real one, and that's the one that you should promote to your children. They should go to school fearing Russians. Amber, you just did on the fly some research about fatherly. Yeah, very brief stuff. So started in like 2014 as pitched to the Times

as BuzzFeeds meets vice for parents, very cursed, very cursed. It has some Gates Foundation money, Michael Strayhan. Very sus. That guy, Jeff Kinney, who wrote those diary of a wimpy kid things, and then like a guy that wrote parenting books, privately held the hard to dig up stuff on the founders. But we'll keep working on it. So yeah, they bring it all back to Russia at the end here.

And it says, that makes pushing the Epstein conspiracies, either from the right or left, deeply dangerous. On an individual level, it can erode the sense of stability in our children and ultimately their mental health. But on a larger level, it could erode the foundations of our country. Smart and discerning adults should know better. We should promote facts before we start promoting fear.

Got that, Vladimir. I know you're reading this right now while I'm writing it. On my Google Notes app, because you hacked my computer. All right, so again, done some brain damage. Let's just do a brief palate cleanser at the end of the show. I want to bring you guys back. All right, what you got?

We're living in a world of fear, a world of illusion, where everything is a hall of mirrors. Exactly. So I'd just like to close out this episode with a little bit of slam poetry. Let's fucking go. In my opinion, the best kind of poetry. The only kind for me.

This comes courtesy of Ariel Sobell. Are you guys familiar with her work? She's pretty lit. Yeah, she's kind of fucking goaded on it. She's kind of nice with it. She's sort of a, how do you describe her? I don't know, like a. Woke Zionist?

Woke Osbaris, who's trying to make being a Zionist a marginalized identity group that, you know. I mean, that is literally the basis of Zionism. She's a. Switch again with identity politics, folks. Yeah, successfully pointed out that our friend, Ellie Valley is the most racist man alive. Yeah, she is. And I have met Ellie.

And you know what? She's right. Yeah, no, she is right. So this comes courtesy of a Twitter user. I'm not going to be able to just say the name here, but someone dug up that she has a, she had a blog that contained. It's our friend who dug it up, by the way.

Rowan. Oh, shit. Yeah, we had her on. But we discovered some slam poetry courtesy of Ariel Sobel, who's, you know, like I said, I believe she said that Bernie Sanders is a bad Jew and made it a point to connect Ellie Valley with neo-Nazis. So slam poetry by Ariel Sobel titled mom, I'm a rapper. All right, this is.

All right, I'm promising a lot. Yeah, let's hear it. I'm about to spit. Okay. Yeah. Last night, I told my mom that I'm going to be a rapper because my tongue and wit are a hell of a lot faster than little Wayne's complaints about not enough hose

and too many bastards. And all that serious shit. No fucking way. I don't think Felix is going to make it. I'm literally not, man. This is what the Epstein stuff does to Matt. This does to me. This is already ruining me.

Imagine, imagine like getting out of the Hillel meeting and calling your mom because I know this didn't literally happen, but I think it might have you walk out of the Hillel meeting that's and you call your mom on the phone and you're like little Wayne only talks about hose. This is mine. This is breaking my fucking mind. I believe that this very well exact scenario

might have actually happened. This person is this earnest. Okay, I gotta get back to this. All right, I'm doing the hand. I'm doing the hand motions of like that Coke industries guy who did the video about us. Deep breaths. Did you hit the white wrap?

Spaghetti before you did this. Yeah. OK, I got you have to do the white wrap. You have to swat invisible flies. I'm doing I'm doing the white wrapping hand slam poetry motions. OK, so I got to get the beat back. I got to get the beat back.

I'm I'm lyrical. Yeah, yeah. Spherical, crustacean, vibration, corporations. All right. And all that serious shit. This on Sirius XM that stem from the crapper because I can take the box out of B box. Find inspiration from Ted talks.

Lines and long walks down the pages of my diary. Jimmy Iovine would hire me. DJ, run that back. DJ, run that back. Oh, because I take. Felix is just pacing right now. I can just literally drop his microphone. I can take the box out of B box find inspiration

from Ted talks. Lines and the long walks down the pages of my diary. And Jimmy Iovine would hire me because I'd actually look good in those low cut jeans. I'd build a quilt with seams and dreams rather than swag and do rags. I. OK, what's up? OK, what's what's what's that?

I'd call the fearless stags instead of fags and have what bags under my eyes from spending my nights editing out lies, turning on lights in the rooms when I'm most vulnerable. I'd put you to get back. I got to be back. Turning on lights in the rooms are almost vulnerable. And I'd put you under a spell with the fact

that I could spell words tasty and swell. And my rat name would practically be the same Arielle so Bell or Snow White because I've been awakened by the kiss of life. And my barfights will be ripping with tights before my first step and from my lips will drip last night of where the words I drip. I'd outrime Eminem and little Wayne,

throw a steak through Drake and make Dray need a doctor. Nicki Minaj would show her ass and I'd top her with some class and explain to two chains that some dope shit runs through my veins and he'd hand me the reins as I got more out of Macklemore and show Ludacris the door because I won't bring you to your knees but leave you on the floor shattered and sore for my tongue has spun things as crazy as Amanda Bynes

and my heart has beat faster than the quickest vines. And my rhymes are hotter than Ryan Gosling watching Titanic. We might not be at the disco but you better panic because I'm the manic, depressant, fluorescent, luminescent, adolescent and life may be evanescent but I'll stay effervescent. Knock me down and I'm convalescent in the dark. I'm incandescent and I refuse to be quescent.

I'm the next-gen great rapper. You can't tap her but tap into her. Mike, drop. I don't know what God wants me to do with this information. I destroyed Felix's brain just like Jeffrey did to Matt. Again. So you know how in ballet they say you have to focus on a spot in the wall to not get nauseous?

Yeah. I picked one for this and it's when she implies that she would eat Nicki Minaj's pussy but like classy style. But it's not helping me to focus on that. It's just I'm still spinning. I'm fucking... There's just so much there.

Like there's so much. What I would take away from this poem is that this is a person who has basically made a career out of calling people racist if you don't like Benjamin Netanyahu. And the entire purpose of this slam poetry is that she's a better rapper than Drake and Lil Wayne. And also, hey blacks, listen up. What is her opinion on do rags?

But like how does that... Not a fan. She does not like that. She's not a fan. She thinks people should... She thinks they're a political signal. Those people should pull their pants up. That's what she means.

The line was, I'd build a quilt with seams and dreams rather than swag and do rags. So like do rags are like the opposite of like dreams or... Dreams. Looks like they're never going to do a wave check at APAC. I don't think she understands that it's a functional garment. Yeah, literally. I think what she's saying is that she thinks that her dream quilt

would be one of spiritual enlightenment and not just crass material pursuits like other rappers. Material pursuits like do rags are the most expensive things. Goodbye. Like 80 cents. Look, all I know is I'm just thinking about my white Jewish friend who bought a do rag in sixth grade. That kid, all I know is I am now not going to be satisfied

until I can get more rap inspired by Ted talks. This was this is like everyone. Okay, look what I when me and E one did lyrical cook out. Many have said it's the worst thing ever recorded, but this is actually shittier. This is worse than the miraculous cut all of this. Okay, before we go this Friday at Necronomicon in Providence, the call of Cthulhu Saga continues live, live, live on stage

at the I think the Columbus Theater in Providence. This Friday tickets still available by those tickets in the link for the show description. We have also unlocked our latest call of Cthulhu Saga, the Musks of Nyarlath Tep. What do we say guys? Great shit, man. That was dope.

I just I just want that Ted talk rap concept album would be ideal when it would see you in Providence, everybody. Bye bye. The trick didn't work. Your life was fucked up from the first day of birth after watching Jackie Gleason. We'll get to a recent gun down a captain for no fucking reason and get some LSD or a drink from the bar.

Get behind your wheel and crash the car like there's a store got bombs for the war. Look in front of alligator, let it eat your roar. Back to the function, riding the caboose to hell. Gizzley touched the third rail. You fucked up chicken. Now you just got fired because it's a suicide. Suicide, it's a suicide, bro.

Suicide, it's a suicide. Suicide, it's a suicide, bro. Suicide, it's a suicide. Hey, you little rich kid, what's your beat? Come and tell the MV for all of your grief. You asked for rubbings and you only got a chicken. You're fucked up and you're fucked up.