Chapo Trap House - 344 - Koch & Poll Torture (8/26/19)

Episode Date: August 27, 2019

The torture never stops. We cover Trump's plan to nuke the weather, Joe Walsh's presidential bid, a new poll that places Bernie at the top position in the democratic primaries, the unfulfilling death of David Koch, and finally, conservative faces.

Hello everybody, happy Monday. It's your chocolate chaff house for the week. Sitting in with me is Amber and Matt and we've got producer Chris grabbing a mic as well. Oh, hello. And Phyllis. And Phyllis. And the we, the we wait the ghost Phyllis. Hope you guys had a good weekend. Thanks again to everyone who came out to see us in Providence on Friday. That was a blast. Thanks again to Necronomicon. I'd like to kick things off this week with this little news item that confirms once again Matt Kirstman, our own prophet of doom, needs to be more responsible with his powers. I'm speaking of course about news that President

Trump suggested multiple times to senior Homeland Security and national security officials that they explore using nuclear bombs to stop hurricanes from hitting the United States, according to sources who have heard the president's private remarks and been briefed on a National Security Council memorandum that recorded those comments. Matt, would you like to take responsibility for why you made this happen? Well, all the and the funny thing is is every time every single time this happens, I do not remember it. First of all, yeah, not his fault. He's more like the Oracle of Delphi. It's just like he

has a bunch of Diet Cokes, then maybe like half a tab of acid, and then it just comes to him. It's involuntary. He's drugged up and controlled by like a cadre of, you know, priests. Oh, that's right. You were the one who became the one adult human being on in Brooklyn that still drinks regular Coke. That's right. That's why I'm gonna be dead soon. No, somebody had to point this out. I don't know how they found it. I don't know how this happened, but some random hero online said, hey, lol, look at this. After that story came out, and it was from August 25th, 1917, two years to the day from when this story was released, where

I tweeted, no matter what the squawking libs in the media say, launching a nukes at Hurricane Harvey is an hashtag alpha move. Thank you, President Trump, hashtag mega. And I had, of course, just tweeted that and then totally forgot about it. Somebody reminded me of it and people are like, oh my god, your powers are too great, but people need to realize I'm not making these things happen. I am merely closing my eyes, opening my third eye, and then asking what is the stupidest thing that could happen? And I just, because Hurricane Harvey was coming, it was headed towards Houston, and I thought Donald Trump's president, he is

the stupidest man on earth. What would the stupidest man on earth who was also president of the United States do about a hurricane? And I remember stories from a different hurricane when it was going to hit Florida about local public health officials having to tell people don't shoot at it. Right. And I just thought, well, what is it? Shoot all your problems. Exactly. But what would be the US president version of shooting a hurricane launching a nuke at it? So I just surmised, well, he would think that. And it turns out, yes, that's exactly what he thought because he is the dumbest man on earth. And all you got to do is just get

into that mind space, just go out of your brain and remove all of your critical thinking skills, all of your knowledge of anything, and just become a, just a, like a star child. And just imagine you're the horniest, angriest, stupidest star child with unlimited power. What would you do? And then you end up predicting, not making, predicting what's going to happen. So this is a Jonathan Swan in Axios, says here, asked how the briefer reacted. The source recalled he said something to the effect of, sir, we'll look into that. Trump also raised the idea in another conversation with a senior administration official, a 2017

NSC memo describes that second conversation in which Trump asked whether the administration should bomb hurricanes to stop them from hitting the homeland. A source briefed on the NSC memo said it did not contain the word nuclear. It just said the president was talking about bombing hurricanes to conventional a Patriot missile battery into the eye of the storm. See that is more reasonable because if it doesn't work, nothing is all right. We we try whereas if the nuke doesn't work, then you just have a radioactive hurricane, which seems like it's got to be the worst possible thing that could happen

to your town. Yeah, that's a sci-fi original movie atomic hurricane. Yeah, I love what I love about the sir, we'll look into it line is we'll look into it is also the thing Trump says when he has no idea you're talking about. And so it makes me imagine a White House that is just this constant circular motion of looking into it. It's like the Malkovich scene where they can only talk in Malkovich is it's just people constantly opening doors being like, we'll look into it. We'll look into it. We'll look into it, sir. We're looking into it. Just everyone bluffing either their unwillingness to go along with

your insane scheme or their total non knowledge of what you're talking about. Yeah. Either way, the only response is we'll look into it. We're looking into it. We're looking into it very strongly for him though, because the sir is what's the only thing he's looking for. Just the sir. That's true. He just wants someone to call him sir. You can probably just get away with nodding and saying that's a great idea, sir, and then never following up on anything and it would never need to go anywhere, which I assume is like 90% of how his team. Oh my when it comes, when it comes out after he's done and people are like

Hawking books, the number of things that he will have suggested that people just said we'll talk about that and then they just never followed up on. He forgot is going to be astounding like. Let's do Jurassic Park. Why have we done that? We'd make so much tax money to charge people to see the dinosaurs, which is what they're doing in Noam or Noam. Yeah, yeah, the yeah, the Saudi, the Saudi city of tomorrow. I'm surprised that he didn't hear about that story and go. Why can't we get a Jurassic Park? I mean, I would probably did. I'm telling you, I would like to get on the record. I think I said this on the show before.

I am pro doing Jurassic Park. Okay. Yeah. Like, you know, we can make it happen. We can make it safe. We can make it affordable and make it quality. We can make the cute. We can make the cute ones, which is the most important thing. We want a plesios over. We want a cute little Bronosaurus with the dangerous ones too. You're just asking for trouble. Raptors, you know, the great, the great bovine lizard cows. No, man, you got this right. You said the lesson of Jurassic Park is not don't clone dinosaurs. It's paid dentistry. Yeah, exactly. The guy programmed your entire fucking park from one, like a fucking, what, an Apple

two, and you're you're going to be a skin flint. Pay the man what he's owed. Then your bark is going to be fine. Another eccentric Scottish billionaire ruining the world through contracting practices. I like though an Axios because it is, you know, news for smart people. They always include the big picture section, which sort of like, you know, let's zoom out. It just says here, Trump didn't invent this idea. The notion that detonating a nuclear bomb over the eye of a hurricane could be used to counteract convection currents dates to the Eisenhower era when it was floated by a government scientist.

That government scientist, Dr. Strangelove. That was also like right after they invented it where they were like, maybe we could use these things to dig. No, everyone keeps trying to defend bad ideas with like, Hey, people thought that this was a good idea. 60 years ago, like that's not a defense. That means we decided against it. No, but there was shortly, yeah, in the, in the fifties, right after we developed the bomb and we're like, well, what can this thing do? Well, we can't really use the bomb for right because we realize very quickly,

especially after the Soviets got it. Oh, we can never really use this because that would end all life on earth. So we're just going to use it as a turn. Is there anything we could use peacefully? Is there a piece of time useful for these cool weapons? We can use it to relocate island populations in the South Pacific. Yeah, but there was a whole field of crackpot science of what I think there was talk about using them to like as like a fast way to like level brush and stuff. Yeah. Like like like farming. You could just nuke some place and then clear the land and you wouldn't need to like send people in

there. No, it's great for serious. You can you'll clear the land for the next 50,000 years. Yeah, it's great. I remember being in DC once at the Smithsonian and seeing some kind of like talk or like it's basically when they do like their equivalent of the the the Waterworld Extreme Stunt Ride at Hollywood Studios, but you know for Smithsonian Science and they had this scientist come out and he was talking about in the fifties. Oh, he was old as shit and he was talking about in the fifties. He was working at like Los Alamos or something at an applied nuclear physics lab and he was like,

yeah, we had this high powered on point radiation generator and during our lunch breaks, we would just take that sucker outside and put it in a trash can and throw some hot dogs in the bottom and he and heat them up for lunch and I was thinking like that sounds like a terrible idea and then he was like and that's how we got the microwave and there's just like them you being like what else can we do with radiation hot dogs? Great. Now that's a consumer product. It's true. You guys are everyone thinking too small. It's pathetic, but my favorite quotes from that axios article because they asked a

bunch of people and apparently none of them could deny it because he actually did say it, but the spin was so good. This one guy says, a senior administration official has been briefed on the president's bombing suggestion, defended Trump's idea and said it was no cause for alarm. His goal to keep a catastrophic hurricane from hitting the mainland is not bad. His objective is not bad. So he was trying to say about the road to, you know, things being great and fine and okay, being paved with good intention. It's true. And like Lenny. You go on our sand. Lenny just really thought she was pretty.

He thought her hair was really shiny and he just wanted to pet it. Okay, we need to remember that. It was soft like a rabbit and then his other person says what people need here when people near the president do is they say I love the president who asked questions like that. He's willing to ask tough questions. It takes strong people to respond to him in the right way when stuff like this comes up. For me alarm go alarm bells weren't going off when I heard about it because, but I did feel somebody is going to use this to feed into the crazy president. The president is crazy narrative. I just

love it. He's asking, he's asking the big questions. Okay, this is like, you know, like, like, like business mindset books. So they're just like successful executives just create a space for like, you know, no idea is too out of the box. Let's just have a rap session. Just throw it out there. Throw my ideas out there or it sounds like a like a preschool or kindergarten teacher trying to in a parent-teacher conference trying to level with the parent that their kid has ADHD in the gentlest way of being like, well, let's start off and say he's got a very inquisitive mind. So when he put the class hamster in the

blender, he said he wanted to see what it looked like. He was just curious. It says here the myth has been so persistent that the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration published an online fact sheet under the heading Tropical Cyclone Myths Page which states, apart from the fact that this might not even alter the storm, this approach neglects the problem that the released radioactive fallout would fairly quickly move with the trade winds to affect land areas and cause devastating environmental problems. Needless to say, this is not a good idea. I mean, yeah, that that is the problem with nuclear

weapons essentially. Really, it's also the problem with hurricanes. They don't hold still. If we could just get them to hold still, it would be fine. We're gonna build a wall around the hurricane. Yeah, you know what? He's so into walls. Why isn't he going that direction? Could you imagine if they did that and then like it not only did it not affect the past of the hurricane, it just made it like a category five radiation storm that made landfall and just created, just carved the swath of like totally like Chernobyl uninhabitable for 10,000 years got to kill all the dogs. Sorry. No, that wouldn't happen if they were conventional

nukes. I don't think it would be that long, but you might get some mutants out of it. That'd be cool. Still gonna. We're still gonna have to kill the dogs. Yeah, see mutants. You know, we're gonna create the MIR race. Well, the point is, you know, thankfully, we won't have to worry about that that nightmare atomic hurricane situation because Donald Trump is being challenged in the Republican primary. He's done. He's not gonna be president anymore because a sane, rational, reasonable conservative has stepped up to the plate to be the lonely warrior, the lone Spartan. They sent one man for this mission and that man is Joe

Walsh. You guys remember Joe Walsh? Hell yeah, life's been good to him. He's, you know, been a punchline on Twitter for basically as long as I've been using it. And as Felix said, it's funny because they've managed to find the one guy who's a worse father than Donald Trump to, you know, take him out. This utterly quixotic presidential campaign is, of course, being sponsored by Bill Crystal. So, you know, with that guy's track record of success, this should go pretty good. It should be a cakewalk mission accomplished. Well, I don't understand this because he's already been challenged. Bill Weld is already running

against him. He was in Iowa. We missed him. He was at the soapbox one of the days we were there, but it was in the morning and it was raining. So we're like, fuck that. But he was there. So he's already got a challenge. So what the fuck? Here's the problem. Bill Weld, though, does not have conservative bona fides. Like, Bill Weld is a classic Northeastern moderate Republican. Joe Walsh is a guy who is every bit as paranoid, diluted, and racist as Donald Trump. So he is the man who has authenticity. So what's the problem with Trump again then? If this guy is the solution? Joe Walsh is probably Trump is

that Trump is crazy and he is probably the only right-wing yacker who believes everything about the Russia stuff and literally thinks like Trump is an agent of Russia and our national security has been compromised by his presidency. So he's just a full spectrum delusions. He's got he's got everything. He's Mr. Burns. That's what you want is you want a variety. Yeah, you want a potpourri of political. That makes it that makes him seem like he has the psychological profile of a classic undecided voter who is not actually a political moderate, but just believes that yes, birthright citizen should be ended tomorrow and

Trump is absolutely an agent of the Kremlin. You know, just a total grab bag. Very idiosyncratic. Like a sort of, you know what, he's kind of a right-wing Tulsi. It's a little grab bag. Probably not worth going into, you know, each one of Joe Walsh's thoughts, but suffice to say he has a lot of things to say about black and Latino crime rates, the ungratefulness of black people in general, and specifically Michelle Obama, and why you can say things like redneck but not be on a national radio program. He also tweeted right before the election 2016. He said on November 8th, I'm voting for Trump and on November 9th, Trump loses.

I'm grabbing my musket. Who's with me? Which one, that's insane. And two, what are you going to do with that musket, dude? I mean, I don't think you're going to really scare anybody with a with a muzzle loading rifle. At least he's a consistent with the founders principles. Yeah, those are the arms that you have the right to bear. Come on. He was the best. He was the best member. He's a Renfair Republican. He's the only good one. Come on, Don Henley. Awful. You know, Glenn Fry. That's that's a fucking Pete's a gay shit. Actually, I like a good Glenn Fry song. The lion eyes, right? That's OK. It's a

good song. The funny thing about Joe Walsh, though, is that this news of his, you know, totally fraudulent and pointless. Yeah, he's just going to try to replace Joe Scarborough. Pointless. Yeah, nothing. Absolutely nothing is, of course, being heralded as brave and necessary by some of the brightest minds in the Democratic Party. I'm thinking specifically of Neera Tandon, who said something along the lines of, you know, we always tell Republicans it's time for them to fix the crazy in their own party and stand up for, you know, what's right, even if we don't agree with them politically. And then when one does,

we just, you know, make fun of him. And it's just like there's no fucking difference in Joe Walsh and Donald Trump. No, at all. Right. That's the truth that we've been trying to pound in people's heads. And this is like a lifeline to try to. Well, no, it's not the case. Well, specifically Joe Walsh, who seems to have weird hang ups in different ways than Trump. And then would probably, if he were to, say, be magically become president, have just as insane and incompetent of a administration as Donald Trump would have. I'm kind of a verse to like the, I think the left kind of resists sort of, you know, doing

kind of fieldwork on the right, which does have like diversity in it. So I avoid things like, oh, there's no difference between them. But there would be no difference between, like, I think their administrations. Like, I think that's more accurate to say. The difference would be, would you rather your dad show up to take you to the Yankees game and punch you because you weren't wearing a suit or you wait for him to show up and he never. Right. Right. Which one's better? He says, you're up to your average Republican voter. That's a major distinction. He appeared on this week with a George Stephanopoulop Lopidus who said, and he

said here, I helped create Trump. There's no doubt about that. He's nuts. He's erratic. He's cruel. He stokes bigotry. That, and that's my job. No, he said that he says in a recent New York Times op-ed that Trump inspires imitators, but he brought up his own share of controversy. At times, I expressed hate for my political opponents. We now see where this can lead. There is no place in our politics or personal attacks like that, and I regret making them. We'll see what happens when Trump immediately starts making personal attacks on him and just calls him deadbeat Joe. Well, I'm sure he'll have to hold his fire now

because he's, like you said, auditioning for Joe Scarborough's job. Well, the one guy actually who could run against Trump in the primary and has threatened to do so and would represent a distinctly different type of, because I think that Joe Walsh, I mean, his hangups and his fetishes and his culture worship, it's all very similar to Trump's thing. But Mark Sanford, old Appalachian trail Mark Sanford himself, our homie from Ozzy Fest, he has threatened to run against Trump, which is hilarious because he couldn't even hold his fucking house seat. But the thing about Sanford is he's-

Everyone just keeps failing up though. I mean, it's not a bad, it's not a bad, like- Well, they fail, they lunge upward as they're falling. We'll see if they get caught. They lurch to success. Yeah, we'll see. He's going to take the first flight back from Argentina. No, I mean, he's not going to win, but I'm just saying, like, given the way that people behave now, like, it does seem like it doesn't matter how many times someone fails. I mean, at least for Democrats, we know that to be true. I mean, look at someone like Beto. Yeah, yeah. But this Democratic primary has definitely opened the door for people who

fucked up their one job to try to attempt a much higher job. Yeah, exactly. But Sanford has a brand of being like an actual real life deficit hog, the kind that only exists when Democrats are in charge and then they disappear as soon as Republicans are in charge. And Trump is, of course, going hog wild, spending like crazy, doing all the stuff that they were horrified that Obama did, not a peep from literally anyone, except for brave little toaster, Mark Sanford. And I would like to see him run because he wouldn't just be saying some superficial bullshit like, oh, he's too

erratic or whatever, or some fantasy stuff about Russia. He would be saying, he's got a trillion dollar budget deficit. We're Republicans. We're supposed to be horrified by that. And then watch him get zero percent across the board and just be a nice, final, empirical reminder that that is complete horseshit and none of them actually believe in it. Yeah. Moving on to, you know, an actual political contest, the Democrat, the Democratic side. New Monmouth poll out today has Bernard Sanders in the number one spot for the first time in any national poll, or basically tied with

Warren but up more than Warren per the last one. What is, I know it's exciting to think about, you know, our boy in the number one spot sitting in the catbird seat, but what is the correct way of thinking about polls of Democratic primary at this point? Well, certainly talking about a national poll, yeah, which is pointless for the very simple reason that there is not a national vote in the primary. There's only specific states at specific times, and all those polls are going to be shaped by the results in the states that came before them. So the very premise of a national primary

poll is already kind of absurd. And then you have the fact that you're six months out of the election and how most of it is name recognition. It really is not anything to put any stock into, which means that when there's a bad one for Bernie and there have been a number of very bad ones, those are the ones from Monmouth themselves. The bad news is it doesn't matter. The good news is it doesn't matter exactly because like Axelrod was trying to own Bernie by saying, oh, you're going down. Bernie's going to win no matter what the polls say. So yeah, just things like that are nice

for a moment's frisian, but they don't mean anything. But then if you look at state polls of Iowa and New Hampshire, I think Bernie is currently leading in New Hampshire and very close in Iowa, or like within five or six points of Biden in Iowa. And I think taking an aggregate, if you look at all of them, do you see the thing where Sanders went on David Axelrod show this weekend? And Axelrod tried to get slick with him and talk about the polls. And he was like, now in the polls, you're holding steady at third or fourth.

And he was just like, oh, let me stop you there. I got a poll right here for you. He did! He pulled polls out of his jacket. And it was just like, I have the receipts. He whipped it out. I have the receipts right here, sis. You will be sipping on that. No. And Axelrod isn't the only one who does it. The way they talk about the media, like they always describe Bernie as just sort of like third or fourth. But like almost every poll, every single poll shows him holding steady at number two under Biden, the guy who's currently, his brain is leaking out of his ears.

He can't even get, he confused New Hampshire with Vermont the other day, which doesn't matter. People in New Hampshire don't care about being confused. Well, that one is really amazing because it's the new fucking Hampshire primary. The only reason any politician spends any time in fucking New England is because of one thing, the New Hampshire fucking primary. The only primary in New England of any consequence. And this motherfucker's calling it Vermont. The other interesting thing about this same poll is like, you know, as you said, like a national poll, it's like, it's not too ominous.

Like just don't put too much stock one way or the other in it at this point. However, like the tabs or whatever about like who likes who is very interesting. Because, you know, it cuts against the media's favorite narrative about Bernie Sanders. Just really simply among white voters, Warren is at 27%. Biden at 18%. Tied with Sanders at 18%. Among non-white voters or voters of color, Sanders is leading at 22%. Biden is at 19 and Warren is at 14. And then if you look at voters who are between 18 and 49, Sanders blows away the rest of them.

And Biden is pulling at 5% among voters under the age of 50. So very interesting. I mean, again, you can't project who's going to win or not based on that. But what you can do is form a, you know, a semi-accurate, you know, portrayal of who these people's bases and support are coming from. I want to get back to just something you were just saying about the media's like glossing over the Bernie campaign. Because just on the way over here, I saw something from like, I don't know, Newsweek or something that was like, Joe Biden has the popularity. Warren has the plans. The Democratic primary is narrowing down to its top leads.

No, like this is what they do, though, is like they either, like there's everyone acknowledges that Biden is leading in the polls, but they are trying so hard to make it seem like Warren is nipping at his heels and his number as number two. When Warren or Harris, and that is not the case, it is Bernie solidly at number two. Everyone else. They're trying to gaslight Bernie, but they can't because he is a strong woman. He knows the truth. And I, you know, just as you, you guys did the dipstick on into Trump's brain, you know, last episode, I feel like part of all of my role is doing the dipstick into the pod save brain, which is like my view into a liberal mindset. And the thing that I have been noticing

most recently is the hilarious extent to which they casually don't mention Bernie. It's like they'll say stuff like, you know, we have a great cheer of candidates. All the front runners are great. Biden, great. Warren, great. Kamala, great. Beto, great. And like list everyone and just not mention Bernie. Yeah. Or be like, who's got the ground game in Iowa, Iowa? Tommy and Tommy is like, Oh, well, you know, Warren is obviously running a phenomenal campaign and I hear Harris is ramping up a lot and actually is building her campaign. Yeah, that's funny because I just heard in Iowa that Bernie has more volunteers and basically every other campaign put together in that state and just no, just a little subtle,

no mention. And I honestly don't want to attribute maliciousness. I just think that they don't even think about him as a real force or a democratic presence. I think it's somewhere in the middle. Yeah. Like I think it's that they are incredibly repressed. Yes. Like they are repressing it so hard. Yeah. Yeah. In their secret lock box in their brain, they know, but they try not to look at the secret lock box in their brain. I do also want to bring up a great unintentional gag that I tweeted about last week that was Tommy referring to Bernie Stump speech as old. You know, he's been playing the same hits forever. He's got to get some new material like you wouldn't want to go to a chance chance the rapper show and have him play just all of acid rap. Would you

and the unintentional hilariousness of that is that the chances new album is largely considered vastly inferior to his old material, but even more stupidly Bernie's been rolling out hit after hit after hit over the last two weeks. The criminal justice plan, the grip, the his fleshed out Green New Deal plan, his campaign seems like it's been on fire. Whenever you go to see like any artist, any artist and they only play new material, you're furious. Yeah. You're fucking furious. Yeah. And also when you go to see chance the rapper perform, I'm also furious. I like that no problem with me song. All right. So let's talk about, yeah, like the solid number two candidate. And by that,

I mean, Elizabeth Warren, who I'm looking at the crosstabs here and she is just blowing it out of the park with voters who have non celiac gluten allergies. No, I remember like last week we talked about how Kamala Harris is backing away from Medicare for All despite co-sponsoring the damn bill that Bernie wrote. Anytime you hear Kamala Harris asked about the Medicare for All, you can just hear the beep of a truck backing up in the background. You can't even call it a heel turn because she was never convincingly a face for even a second. You're just waiting for this to happen. Now the New York Times, of course, is covering Kamala's comments to donors in the Hamptons and Silicon Valley where she was, again, distancing herself

from Medicare for All or my favorite saying we need to phase it in over 10 years. Yeah. So three presidential administrations. Three presidents. Nothing could happen between then and then. Yeah, no, it's like. I just love that that's considered political savvy. We're going to build this incredibly complicated, huge system that is not going to benefit anyone while I'm potentially running for any office. I mean, Matt, you say that, but it is absolutely 100% savvy because when it gets derailed, it won't be on her hand. She's like, look, I tried. But well, right. And they won't help her get elected. But at the end of the day, her being president matters much less than the health insurance industry maintaining its profitability.

Yeah. So yeah, I mean, as you said, Matt, not much of a heel turn for, you know, Katmala Harris, because we didn't expect much of her to begin with. But sweet Elizabeth Warren, you too. What? Say it ain't so. This is courtesy of the New York Times. What Elizabeth Warren is quietly telling Democratic insiders with phone calls, texts and handwritten notes. The Massachusetts senator is continuing an unusually determined outreach effort to show party officials. She is aligned with them. She leaves little post-its in their lunchbox. By Jonathan Martin. It says here, when Senator Elizabeth Warren in Massachusetts addressed a few hundred donors last week and a fundraiser for the Democratic National Committee,

she called for big structural change. And that that is the name of her RV that was tooling around Iowa as well. Honk if you're ready for big structural change. And then Conor O'Malley immediately pulled in behind it and went, batch it, followed her to the fair. He's like, dude, come on, man. I know you've got some grass in there. Come on, man. I've already seen those. There's some white paper in the back. So he goes here and hurled her familiar populist lightning bolts at the forces of concentrated wealth. But Ms. Warren did not attend the event just to recite. I'm sorry. I know that's supposed to sound inspiring, but it just sounds like lightning bolt, lightning bolt. But Ms. Warren did not attend the event just to recite her stump speech.

She had another more tailored message for the Democratic checkwriters, state party leaders, and committee members who were gathered at the elegant Fairmont San Francisco. Last year, I was running for reelection, but I didn't hold back, she said, reminding attendees that in the midterms, she had helped more than 160 congressional candidates and nearly 20 hopefuls in governor's races. In fact, I raised or gave more than 11 million helping get Democrats elected up and down the ballot around the country and sent contributions to all 50 state parties, the national committees, and the redistricting fight. Her point was easy to grasp. While her liberal agenda may be further left than some of the Democratic Party establishment would prefer,

she is a team player who is seeking to lead the party, not stage a hostile takeover. As Ms. Warren steadily rises in the polls, she is working diligently to protect her left flank, lining up with progressives on nearly every issue and trying to defuse potential attacks from supporters of Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont. I'm with Bernie, she responds when asked about what is perhaps the most contentious issue of the primary race, Medicare for all. Yet, a really good way to be with it, drop out and endorse. Yet, publicly and even more in private, she is signaling to party leaders that far from wanting to stage a political revolution in the fashion of Mr. Sanders, she wants to revive the beleaguered Democratic National Committee

and help recapture the Senate while retaining the House in 2020. In phone calls, text messages, and small gatherings before her rallies, as well as one-on-one meetings over hot tea at her Washington condominium, Ms. Warren is simultaneously courting and assuring Democratic town leaders, state-wide officials, and the chiefs of the country's largest unions. It's that revive the DNC, it's that Ben Garrison cartoon where Obama's defibrillating Marx, except it's Liz Warren and Tom Perez. You can use it. Every time I see him, I'm like, that motherfucker could use a few fucking jolts. It is though, they are just acknowledging and boasting about the fact that her campaign strategy

is to meet and reassure elites, except for the only people on there that she listed that weren't, was union leaders, which means nothing and is also bullshit because Sanders has the most fucking, I mean, whatever Warren might get like SEIU or some shit like that, but Sanders has the real union support, Sanders is the fucking nurses. Sanders has been campaigning as part of his every campaign stop, has been attending strikes by the telecom workers. Sanders is the only friend of labor that's running. I think what's interesting here is I remember reading that Warren is, again, trying to protect her left flank, but also separate herself from Sanders. An angle I've seen her take at a recent campaign event is where she talks about,

she's like, look, I want a wealth tax. I don't support the wealth tax because I'm angry at anyone because I'm grouchy. I think that's where we're seeing the line of, I'm not going to say attack, but line of differentiation that she's trying to draw between her and Sanders here is that, you know, yeah, I don't want a revolution. I want good sound policies and not because I'm mad at anyone or I want to upset anyone or I just want things to war on smoothly. I just want people to play fair. She does do. Like she's earnest. I believe her. She is genuinely naive about this shit. We can spread enough of it around that we can all be fat and giggly and we can keep her houses and everything will be fine. This is interesting. You know, we saw her in Iowa say

that, you know, she does support Medicare for All. However, someone said this and I had to check to see if it was true. If you go to Elizabeth Warren's campaign website under the issues tab, Medicare for All is not listed. Yeah. Imagine that. The most popular social democratic reform which is so overdue and you just don't mention it. And like healthcare in general is not listed under any of the issues tabs and it's all stuff like here like let me go to the website. Literally the thing that people care about the most. I think one of the major senses you get when you listen to Elizabeth Warren speak a lot and I think this is one of the reasons that she appeals to her specific base of like basically well educated, though possibly struggling, you know,

upper middle class people is this pitch that we can we can make things better for everyone without fundamentally changing any power structure. Like no one is going to fundamentally gain or lose their relative level of powers. We're just going to like switch the knobs, you know, and I think that that fundamental. She's a technocrat. Like I said, she wants like new brake pads on the sole harvest. Yeah, we're going to pull the margins down a little and I think that that constant reassurance that no fundamental power relations will change is reassuring to the people who are smart enough to acknowledge that there's something a fundamental imbalance that caused something like Donald Trump to happen, but don't want to flip anything over, you know,

and that pitch is very reassuring. But who also believe that the election of Donald Trump was some sort of odd mistake. Yeah, like some sort of weird accident, like some sort of like just like someone was asleep at the wheel. This is all just it's all it's all technocratic stuff. And that's like what Liz Warren is. She's a technocrat. Although I will say that one of the things I took away from Iowa was it was hearing literally every candidate say, here's my pitch that's totally unique to me and nobody else says Donald Trump is not an aberration. He or he has a symptom, not the disease. Like that is the party line from everybody from fucking Swalwell to C-Stack to Warren to Sanders now. Well, then how come they're like operating on these like.

Yeah. Interestingly, though, about that pitch. Chris is that they all say the same thing. He's a symptom, not the disease, but they all have a different disease that they're talking about. It's like divisiveness Russia. Yeah, the incorrect number of boats in our we have too many votes. Many boats. That's why C-Stack is a pimp because he'll tell you his issue is both. I'm an admiral. You think I'd want more boats. No, there's too many boats. That's why he's an honest man and we should support him when he does a coup. I think that interview will finally come out tomorrow. I think the thing with Warren to keep in mind is if you, dear listener, have any relatives or friends who are Warren curious or leading that way in the

primary, I would encourage you to gently confront them or at least try to bring them around. Bring this knowledge to bear that there is, in fact, a difference between her and Sanders. That is important. The reason it is is because, yes, I think her policies, if you go down the list, it's hard to find anything that is outwardly objectionable. I think she has a point of view that is broadly sympathetic to our politics, or your politics rather. The idea is that we've seen what happens when an affable, well-meaning person, but without any fundamental desire to fight or challenge anyone, gets in the White House, and it's eight years of Obama. I mean, she would say no, but the fact is, Obama, I don't think had any actual interest in changing

anything. He was an absolute fraud from the get-go, but even if he'd wanted to, he would have been hamstrung by the fact that he was committed to working within these structures, and he was essentially presented with a fait accompli of bailing out these banks and without the willingness to leverage his public support to create a countervailing force against that, he had to go along with it. The thing is, if Warren has the same idea of, we're going to tinker with things, you're going to elect me, and then I'm going to go to work, then even if she did have an earnest desire that Obama never did to actually use an economic collapse to restructure and break the power of banks or whatever, she wouldn't have the wherewithal to make it happen, because

she would be facing the same structural forces. Sanders is the only one who is explicitly saying, the only way this is going to work is I get in there and I leverage a continuing mobilized mass of voters and unions, people who are able to exert power from outside government in order to help me push forward any kind of change, and Warren just doesn't have, clearly doesn't have the interest in creating that sort of mass politics. She fucking went over a picket line in Las Vegas for great sake. Every defense of Warren and every sort of like boosters in here from the media boils down to this, and if you read it over and over, you'll start to realize you can almost like consolidate it all. It's like, Elizabeth Warren sure is running for president. Over and over

again. If you just look at it, they're just like, look at her. She is running for president. Look at her run for president. There she is. You can't say she's not running for president. That's the entire thing, and that is supposed to be like a sort of virtue in and of itself. She's not the only candidate with plans. It's like they all have plans, and I think, like I said, dear listener, if there are people in your orbit who are Warren supporters, I think you can win them over to the right side of history with a little gentle cajoling and seduction. I mean, if they're a Biden or Harris supporter, they should just be harassed, abused. Oh, see, I disagree entirely. Domed. I disagree entirely. Okay, so you think they need to be

domed as well? I honestly think that you're going to have a better time talking to like some rando working class Biden supporter. It was like, I don't know, things under Obama seemed less like they were on fire all the time than you are like a Liz Warren stand who's like, look, we need carbon credits for my Prius. I honestly believe that I think depending on the type of Biden supporter and the type of Warren supporter, but again, there's like five Warren supporters. Well, not according to the polls. Well, we all know how much we put into polls. I honestly know is I mean, I don't I don't think we're going to get the Prius crowd. I don't think we are. I think we can get the sort of passive Biden voters.

And that is another thing about those that I think that Ambers probably is probably right about that is that the people who are really invested in Warren are interested enough to like be aware of like Bernie Sanders and his policies and Warren and her policies, but do genuinely feel committed like no, Bernie Sanders goes too far. He is to compromise as a candidate candidate, his toxic 2016 campaign. A lot of them are former Hillary. Yeah, exactly. We need these. Well, Elizabeth Warren specific set of going that far is actually more desirable than Bernie that is going to and a lot of Biden supporters are just kind of passive. Yeah, that's true. I mean, the CNN did have a big piece about how are like they began to start talking

about how the DNC is starting to worry that there's this enthusiasm gap or like nobody really wants to vote for Biden. They just feel they have to. Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing about Biden. I mean, other than I think what you're thinking of, you're just thinking of like media people who are inherently deeply cynical. But like the average Biden supporter that such a thing could even exist in the current moment is just sort of going with the flow that what they think is the path of least resistance or the safest option. Warren Harris supporters on the other hand, they said they got to be saying Demons. They've got to be completely in. Yeah, El Diablo or or whatever. Those people they have. They are past help. They have. They've looked into the

the the black sarcophagus and been infected with the I core. Well, everybody I ever talked to who seems like Buddha judge mainly just says. Oh, but he seems nice and smart. He's so smart. Those people I think could be one because you're like, well, why you? What do you like when you like about it? I mean, if they're from Indiana, they get an exemption because we literally got nothing going on. Yeah. But but if you're just committed to somebody like I think Buddha judges base is primarily younger heterosexual women that have their bachelorette parties at gay bars. All right, you guys have convinced me. But I'd like to move on now, you know, talking about the presidential race to an issue that speaks to why virtually every intractable political,

environmental and social problem in America is almost impossible to fix at this point, barring some sort of miracle. And I'm speaking, of course, about the death of David Coke, RIP to a dead one sure is dead. And you know what, I would like this to be a gloating episode that this piece of shit has finally stopped breathing, like, you know, John McCain or whatever. But I got to be honest with you, there's not a lot to gloat about. Right. He died at 79. And the simple fact of the matter is that the Koch brothers, Charles and David, David, the political machine and infrastructure that they helped create almost, I mean, almost entirely on there. I mean, there are a lot of other right wing billionaires and like there's

a lot of moving parts in this, but they were a big chunk of it. The political infrastructure that they created, that is the reason why taxes and inequality taxes have never been lower on the world. The inequality has never been a bigger public public transportation sucks ass everywhere. 100% continue without their living self in a way that like John McCain dying means there's an end of a certain kind of McKean. Yes, exactly. And worse than anything, they basically won. Oh, yeah. Like they set out to create a political movement that would strangle any form of public good in America, you know, hamstring any state intervention in their, you know, awful attempts to cook the planet through fossil fuels or whatever the fuck else they got their money

into to avoid any kind of tax liability or just essentially make American society and the world a more poisonous, nasty place to live for anyone but them and their cronies has worked. It's been an incredibly successful political project of which, honestly, they built a machine and fundamentally like altered the way politics functions. So I mean, despite how evil they are, I mean, I think there's a lot to be learned from them in that if you think about the way, I guess, I won't say left wing billionaires, but, you know, billionaires of the democratic persuasion spend their money. It's like on, you know, ticky tack bullshit that comes with a million strings attached, you have to like jump through

a thousand hoops to pry $30,000 out of them to do like some, you know, non-profit effort to create street art and, you know. Which, of course, raises the property values of the buildings they just bought there. Or they're like Tom Steyer and they get divorced and decide, fuck it, I'm going to run for president. I got a lot of stuff to work out and I'm going to do that by going to fucking county fairs all over the country. I mean, if anything, the Koch brothers in an insane way have had a hand in the creation of this show because there wouldn't be so many ludicrous right wing columnists and institutions to make fun of, were it not for their money and like, yeah, I said this vortex of dark money and political influence that they've created.

They let someone like Jonah Goldberg have a career and they don't give a shit. They'll give millions of dollars to outfits like the National Review or the Federalist to embarrass themselves every single day. They don't give a shit if it ever makes money or if it's even coherent at all. They just want their guys out there getting that message out. And you know what? It worked. You think the Koch brothers gave a shit that that Benny Johnson clone that they got to do a video about us? Do you think they gave a shit that they probably gave that group like a half a million dollars to get 60 views on a Facebook video? Well, 60 views from their natural followers and 60,000 views from people. Yeah, chapeau fans. Chapeau fans ripping on it. No, they don't care

because they know the long money always wins out. And like a million dollars, a few 10 million dollars here or there, it's fucking chump change to them. Yeah. I mean, it's because what matters is a political project to limit the scope of the government's ability to act on behalf of the public good. Think of how many articles in the Federalists they paid for where it's all of them. It's some opus day psychopath writing about how like the pernicious influence of the Portuguese and American sexual more and they don't care because it's also in there with all the other shit that helps like just spread chaff around and keep everybody completely bamboozled at all times. And hilariously, though, you know, when he died, I saw a lot of commentary from, you know,

people who received checks from them. And by that, I mean the entire libertarian movement, all 200 of them. I had to chime in to be like, sorry to all the ghouls celebrating the death of a human being today. But like David Koch did more to cure cancer, encourage immigration, and like fight war than you ever will. That is not what a ghoul is. A ghoul is someone who feasts on the dead. So you are the ghoul being like, please don't take my money away. Yeah. And so like, you know, Reason magazine loves to remind people that the Koch brothers are not conservatives, they're libertarians. And they're actually, they were against the war in Iraq. They're against restricting immigration. They're against, you know, ice. They're against cancer.

And for the arts, I guess. And I'm just like, what's so fraudulent about that, it was exactly what is fraudulent about libertarians in general. And it's like, okay, maybe the Koch brothers were personally against the Iraq war. They still created a political machine that did nothing but elect Republicans who wanted the Iraq war and to put and elect Donald Trump and put people immigrants in our concentration camp. No, they were very, they were very unhappy with Trump. They did not want him to win. They were like, Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Lee Fong, though, in his obituary for David Koch at the Intercept, it's a very good piece. David Koch's most significant legacy is the election of Donald Trump. And he talks about...

No, they didn't like him. They were like, Oh, no, no, no, no, Americans for Prosperity, which is their outfit, put more money into Wisconsin and Michigan than the Clinton campaign did. I guess they got over it. Their initial displeasure with Trump. The funny thing is, is that they could have put more money in Wisconsin and Michigan than Clinton did by accident. It's like a rounding error on a check for them. And they outspent the Clinton campaign in those states. Frank, Whitney and I, I believe it was David Koch. It was him or Charles. Charles is the one with glasses, like the skinnier one with the skinnier one. David was the more lurch looking one. Okay. I think it was David. I saw him with Frank,

when we edit America's prosperity event in 2015 in the Columbus, Ohio, where John Taffer from Bar Rescue spoke, which is the main reason we went. We didn't care about anything else. There were also a bunch of presidential candidates there. There was Bobby Jindal, Jeb Bush. I think Rick Perry showed up, Ted Cruz, all the winners, no Trump. And Taffer, of course, blew the doors off. He was fantastic. But Koch came out. And the one thing I remember from his speech is at one point he like did a joke and nobody laughed. And he kind of pointed at the crowd and said, you're supposed to laugh at that. And then they did. He commanded his minions to laugh at his humor. Here's a good example of what I'm talking about.

This is a Reason Magazine, the Libertarian Life and Legacy of David Koch. And he goes here. He was also among, along with his older brother Charles, one of the Koch brothers, who are regularly invoked on the left as a primary cause of all that is bad in American politics. Such lazy demonization belies a life and fortune spent trying to build a better world through business, politics, and culture, one in which people are not only more prosperous and tolerant, but free to run their own experiments and living. In 1980, Koch was the vice presidential candidate of the Libertarian Party, whose platform that year endorsed the then radical notions of legalizing drugs, ending penalties for victimless crimes, and full acceptance of gays and lesbian.

The platform also called for the abolition of the CIA and FBI in the wake of the church committee findings of widespread abuse. And going on, blah, blah, blah, he's against the critic of the Iraq war and other 21st century interventions. None of this shit means anything, because all their money bought was an even more insane right wing Republican Party. Did I ever tell you guys about my idea for a reality TV show? This bit. So I thought that we should take the people from Reason Magazine and film them living in a house with the Libertarians that I grew up around. So you would get like George Washington University brought a briefcase to high school guys living with like those people at the at the Bloomington Farmers Market who walk around packing, which by

the way has existed since I lived in Bloomington. Like just those weird Libertarian nerds are like actually it's about liberty around like the gun-toting quiverful freaks that live on compounds in Indiana. Would you not actually pay to watch that show? Compound House, yes indeed I would. Yeah, you do Kid Nation with the two tribes of Libertarians. And then eventually they have to- They're just crying in the conventional like there's no man at me and I don't know why. Also, my other favorite thing about the Koch family is it like they mentioned um it's like uh brothers Charles and David and the other two brothers one of whom uh owns as we talked about dresses up like a cowboy and lives in a ghost town of his own creation in Nevada

where he pretends to be a cowboy the other day. The other one Charles and David conspired to blackmail out of the family trust with because he was gay. Yeah they had proof they had like they used the private detective to get evidence of his homosexuality and they threatened to show it to their dad uh who as you might expect uh their dad there's a literal Nazi. His dad was I'm gonna say an alleged literal Nazi but um no like their dad Fred Koch uh helped found the John Birch Society among other things but he was a co-founder of the John Birch Society and made the family fortune building oil refineries for Hitler and Stalin. So you gotta hear both sides. You gotta play both sides. Well like a great capitalist he was like look I'll build

oil refineries for anyone who wants to pay me but he came away from that experience returned to America with a deep-seated fear and hatred of communism because he did seen its horrors up close and a deep-seated admiration for fascism saying quote I think um uh the only admirable nations of the world today are Germany Italy and Japan. He liked the Third Reich so much he hired a fanatical Nazi governess to be the nanny for Charles and David. Oh that makes so much sense they had an Ilsa. Yes they had a frowl for Bissinot was there uh was there nanny. This explains so much I bet they still suck their thumbs. In the Jane Mayer book on the Cokes she said that the the Nazi nanny taught them she toilet trained them to poop on command. She would just be like snow

and they would just they would defecate. They're a very scatological people. Oh wow and uh also not surprisingly look uh the reason magazine and the libertarian movement of which Charles and David were you know uh you know godfathers of is just about freedom it's about social freedom free to be you and me and like they said free to pursue our various experiments in living. What they mean by that is taking homeless people in the basement and like sewing their bodies in the different configurations to see if they could still live. It's it's all just to create a society in which they feel psychologically uh capable of pooping when they want to rather than when a stern older German woman tells them to. But um you know through this intellectual network of um complete

cranks and lunatics of which they fomented and were a part of um would it surprise you to find out let's say they were quite close to and published the work of a lot of how should I put this world war two historians with a novel take on a story that we all know. Let's just say they had some questions about what went on in central Europe in the 1940s. I thought you were talking about the ancient aliens guy. Uh no yeah no uh yeah reason magazine has published holocaust deniers over and over again. Look anytime you have libertarians you're going to have people who believe the wrong side one world war two. That's just the fact that you know that's you know yes they're apparently uh pro gay rights as well. Or in the words of nick it's not that there are holocaust deniers they're

just bad at math. Uh the third wreck was just trying to do an attempt to brave social experiment and personal freedoms. Yeah just different experiments on the living. Twins you know whatever. I'll just say it again like this bullshit line about libertarians that they love freedom so much. Yeah sure they do but when like the rubber hits the road when it comes down to uh am I going to be taxed at a reasonable rate or can gay people be alive we know where their their money is going to end up going and supporting. It's also just like a non-ideology like that's why that's why you know Liberty House would be such a good show because when you talk about people who identify as libertarian you have a bunch of like incredible nerds and then weird crypto nazis and then you

just have like a bunch of weird like homesteaders like there's nothing coherent about libertarianism whatsoever. The people who sort of run the um the historic intellectual tradition of libertarianism are like fucking freaks are like weird insane freaks and when they talk about like look there's all kinds of people that are libertarians I'm like yeah and they would fucking hate you too. Like you would not want to like you would purell after shaking those people's hands anyway. Like it just makes zero sense to even like call it a thing when we talk about libertarians on this show. Most of what we're talking about is like a tiny cabal of like weird George Mason University professors. Yes exactly weird weird media people and then like the the academics that probably

have like one or two plates from the Third Reich. Yeah no but when they talk about um yeah we just want everyone to be more free to pursue their experiments and living. What that really means is if a couple of those individuals happen to be each individually worth 60 billion dollars their experiments and living could technically involve owning you as property. It's an experiment. Or I know libertarians like to say oh we're totally against slavery you know but like if you contract into it however. That's a foundational thing. Murray Rothbard talked about that all the time. That's another experiment in living. Sometimes children want to experiment with employment. So yeah David Koch not too much to celebrate even though he's dead because

we are going to be living with the consequences of the country that he helped create probably for as long as we're still alive. But but on the press side Wyatt is releasing a limited edition shirt with a bunch of prostates on it. You can wear it at the boardroom or discotheca. Oh god what. That was the other thing they were like this man has a family. Yeah Wyatt. I don't like you're talking his nephew Wyatt Koch. That's who I'm supposed to feel bad for. This fucking shithead. I'm supposed to be a fan for Francis Buxton for fucking Peewee's big adventure. This guy wearing a fucking pineapple shirt cowboy hat and blue gators with a stoned shitting grin on his face that just says I can do whatever I want. It doesn't matter.

Yeah. I got to follow my passion. The most innocuous of all of all. Yeah. Certainly him in the ghost town guys seem. Look if you're going to be that that rich and you want to like go build a be a pretend to be a cowboy in a ghost town. Sure. The ghost town guy though is a sleeper like Connor from succession like oh god. Yeah one day he'll decide to run for president or something. Well yeah he's apparently he's political. He donates but he does. He's not at the forefront but wait till he gets like bored. Yeah. No for sure. Well the good thing about the and he's Wyatt's dad and the good thing about him is that apparently he's incredibly easy to scam. He one time he did buy a ghost. He bought. He bought. He buys a bunch of like Western memorabilia

easily easily for counterfeit like Billy the kids. He also buy. He also bought a bunch of like he bought Napoleon's. No he's based on that guy. Yeah. But but he bought like a two million dollar bottle of wine that was supposed to be from Thomas Jefferson's sellers totally. It was like fucking. It was like Julio Gallo or something. So scam him like we're not going to get. We're not going to get redistribution. Just make like a gun and say that it was like Pat Garrett form a take it to him and form a company that's like reverse Ghostbusters that promises to put actual ghosts in his ghost town. We will populate your your fantasy community with all kinds of spooks spirits and poltergeists. Well we'll put John Aston from the Frightners. Yeah. So yeah he's

dead. We won't have him to kick around anymore. But like I said I guess I mean like the point is if you have a political vision and are ruthless like and you have billions of dollars you can enact it and I think like there are lessons that the left can learn from even without the money. Maybe we can do this on the cheap. But the world they created and the one we're living in now is the one in which private wealth can dominate all public concerns and any democratic there is no democratic check whatsoever anymore on it. They are free to amass as much wealth as possible through the dispoiling of the natural environment and the corruption of our politics at every single level. So congratulations. They won. He's dead. We unfortunately are all still alive.

And then he'll come back in a fucking mech suit in six months. They found out a way to like they found some like Nazi scientists to use a fucking lightning rod to bring him back to life. All right. Well let's close out with a more hopeful note with this week's reading series which is a doozy that comes to us from across the pond courtesy of the telegraph the bloody Tory paper. This one is really good. It's by a guy named Charles Moore. And would you like to just take a look at Charles Moore and just tell me how would you describe him to our audience. I would like a little Charles less. Yeah pedophile. Allegedly. Alleged. Also has a little bit of that Trump thing where you can see the lines from the from the spray

tan like around his eyelids. Yeah. No he has sort of a yeah. He has a like a sort of lurch like quality to him that photo from the G seven of all the leaders looking up that's probably one of the best views of Trump's raccoon eye tan that I've ever seen. I found another picture recently where you could see from that insane press conference that he did that we talked about last episode where the line on the side of his face where the tan with the bronzer ends. It's the ear anything behind the ear is sharpest. I've ever seen it. I'll try to remember to tweet it later. It's really thinking about what Trump's morning routine must be. It's just like his his face. Does he have a makeup. I'm sorry. I can't stop thinking about that image.

I mean why is it that all of these like summits all these G summits they make every world leader like pose in them for a photo in the most embarrassing way possible. Yeah they're all like they're doing a fucking Rockettes line. Yeah. Oh they should do a Rockettes line. They'll have canes and top hats. I mean at this point I'm just going to assume it's all some sort of occult ritual that we don't understand the meaning of. I mean I'm just glad though that like they all get together and like they can just see like how like sexy and hot Trump is in real life. He's just like he's a snack. He's a dime. We can't deny it. So this article comes courtesy of the G7. This is Charles Moore writing the telegraph. The headline is Boris has brought

a miraculous change to the political weather as the remainder world order falls apart. And of course the photo that is illustrating this article is Trump and Johnson sitting across the table from each other both looking at each other like Harpo and Groucho doing the mirror routine from Duck Soup where they like mirror each other's movements and they can't tell who's who. They both look like absolute shit. It's just so awful bellowing fucking orangutans. It's this has been two years of the making and I'm so happy it's finally happened. All right. So the article is actually basically not about it goes this article goes to some strange places. The next the next the next the next hand is the column is called conservative faces.

We love to see them. Last week I aired the idea that there is such a thing as a left wing face. I feared that Olivia Coleman's possession of one might make her unsuitable to play the queen. Speaking of course Oscar winning actress Olivia Coleman from Peep Show and the favorite apparently she's got a liberal face which this guy will not do. This guy means he won't be able to jack off while watching Netflix. Well I mean when you look at like he does have a point like when you look at her character in Fleabag it's like she's the most perfect that kind of person. But she's a great actress. She can inhabit a character. I'm just saying maybe physiognomy is real. Here we go. It is quite different from a right wing one which tends to look

severe in vain. Think of Oswald Mosley. Love to do it all the time. The conservative face takes many forms but in general it is one in which you rarely see among bureaucrats television presenters or masters of public relations but do find among soldiers, farmers or engineers. So what he's saying is like the liberal face is the face you see on the people I don't like and the conservative face is the one you see on the people I do like. It's not really bringing up the fact that white. Just say white. By the way he says you rarely see a conservative face among television presenters. I'm sorry Jimmy Saville. Hello. It tends to be what people used to call an open countenance with a suggestion of humor of being outdoors a good deal and in men of liking

whiskey. What? You mean just like like broken blood vessels in your nose? Is that what you mean? Like rosacea? Like evidence of advanced dipsemania? You mean that? Classic conservative faces include Mrs. Thatcher's convivial deputy, Willie Whitelaw. Yeah, I always think when I think of the Thatcher cabinet I always think of convivial good-humored people. Extremely chill. This guy's name is Willie Whitelaw. They did incredibly chill child crimes. And the late great WF Deeds who appeared on the page opposite. Female examples would include Queen Elizabeth and the Queen Mother. You mean deeply inbred? Just like horrifically inbred? Current examples are worryingly rare among big C conservatives, but one would be the Brexiteer Owen Patterson. What about Boris

Johnson himself? It looks like a conservative face, but this can only be confirmed after October 31st. Okay, see, no. You've already blown it. You either have the face or you don't. It's not like it's going to change if he like gets the fucking brexit through. Like he's going to grow a horn? We're all about, you know, race science here, but if you're going to do it, commit to it. You have to 100% lock it down and be like, it is a face or it isn't a face. You don't get to be like pitchfork and like 20 years later, it'd be like in the airplane overseas, a 10-star album. You have to do it before. Isn't his argument here basically that the faces of conservatives are not the faces for people who would usually be paid to appear as like a public image. You would not want to see

them. You would not pay to look at them. Yes. He's doing white and inbred. That's what they mean. If you ever think about this column, every Tory in the country, too ugly for TV. About Charles Moore is like, he's one of these columnists that they just like let him riff and he can have a three or four different subjects. And he closes this out with something called a restaurant for ordinary people. Why isn't anyone thought of that? He goes, they haven't eaten in years. This column suggestion of a restaurant chain, working title, Hobsons, offering absolutely no choice of food. See how witty that is? Hobson's letter choice. That's how we get, that's how you become a man of letters. This is British wit at its finest. So it's a restaurant

chain offering absolutely no choice of food and therefore freeing the customer from the agony of decision is gaining ground. A learned reader points out that such a phenomenon existed in the 18th century and was called the ordinary. I had often noticed the word in the writing of the period, but thought it just meant a basic in. In fact, it means, and I quote from Johnson's Diary, a place of eating established at a certain price. Customers of my chain will be proudly known as ordinary people. That's it. That's it. This column is like, is like, Chris, you're, you're a Venture Brothers fan. Yeah. This is like Colonel Gentleman's memoirs. Oh yeah. Toys, Colonel Gentleman wishes he had when he was alive, but they weren't invented yet.

It's kind of a good idea. The problem is you really have to, you're taking a big risk with what you pick, you know, because if it's not good, you're fucked. Well, I could, you know, it's just, we got, it's the food of the day. Yours will have a plate of it. I mean, it's always going to be British food, so it's going to be, you know, slop, not fit for hogs. Whatever pudding we have on the stove back there. That's going to be a flavorless gruel. That is true. Like, why do they even have multiple things on a British menu anyway? It's the exact same ingredients. Just give them a, just give them a, like a bowl of, you know, mushy peas and brown. Yeah. That's it. They really love brown. I mean, I guess that's the

point of the full English breakfast is that is basically like we're covered. Look, we're covering all your, your bases, everything from, from eggs to beans, scabs, literal scabs, we're no choice required. You get it all. No, it's just all soggy. Yes. Just ever, just it's the soggy restaurant plowman, sog. Well, there you go. A conservative, conservative faces, you know, usually seen, you know, coming out of a grave. I mean, he basically makes the same diagnosis that we have made over and over on the show that there is definitely a conservative face. Just whether or not it is good or bad is the differing. I mean, no, it's just the faces of people I hate looking at. Yes. That's it. It forms a composite. Yeah, exactly. They all just

run together. Um, all right. Uh, that's just one last thing. This breaking news while we were recording the show, Joe Walsh during his campaign, he's now going on TV, trying to push his campaign to defeat Trump, asked about his alarmingly, racially charged, should we say tweets by MSNBC said quote, I wouldn't call myself a racist, but I've said racist things on Twitter and I feel like that's like the biography of like a third of American males at this point. Do you have any plugs? I think for the first time in like forever, we are plug a free. We're unplugged. We are unplugged. We are smooth sailing through the rest of fall. The only thing I will say is that there are a few things that we have done that will be forthcoming videos, a video

piece of our Call of Cthulhu live set. I hope to be getting online as soon as possible and then a podcast version of that short to follow and then also keep your eyes out for some more, a more formalized version of our dispatches from Iowa coming up soon. Definitely. Yeah. That's it for this week. Thanks for listening guys. Cheers. Bye. Bye. How many people got a code to live by anymore? Hey, look at that. Look at those assholes over there. Yeah. Ordinary fucking people. I hate them. Me too. What do you know?