Chapo Trap House - 346 - Twisted Tales (9/3/19)

Episode Date: September 3, 2019

Will was out of town and Chris was at a wedding, so it's up to Matt, Felix and Virgil on the sticks, running the show and recording themselves for a freewheeling ep covering Beto, Brexit, Bret, Joker, Rego, and more.

One small thing, yeah when you bring me out Can you introduce me as Joker? Hey everyone, it is Labor Day weekend and you know what that means, let's get this over with, but there is one piece of housekeeping that we have put off. So, so long, two months ago, TV's Matt Crispin lost the bet against Virgil, Texas, and Stake of the Bat, I don't even remember what the bet was about, but the Stake of the Bat was loser Matt Crispin watches the view for a month. And he's gonna do it because, fortunately, the day after Labor Day, September 3rd, the view comes back from their summer hiatus, all the people you love will be there. Whoopie Goldberg, Sonny Hostess, Joy Behar, Megan McCain, Anna Navarro-Cardinas, and Abby Huntsman, who is coming back from maternity leave. According to her last Instagram bump date, she will be back this fall. I just love how they've got two daughters of failed presidential candidates. Where does that happen? In what universe does that just happen?

We just somehow ended up with two daughters of failed Republican presidential candidates. It's like is Harold Stassen's daughter gonna show up next? Matt will have to watch the first half, it's an hour long, you only have to watch the first half, but that's the best half because that's when they talk about it. You know what, this is why John, the thing about presidential daughters, John Kerry's daughter became like a normal actress, she was in Spartan with Val Kilmer, and then never heard from again. Yeah, she's a bartender in Spartan. Wait, Alexandra Kerry? Yes, interesting. Yeah, no, respect for anyone. Respect for any presidential child who I have never heard of. You are braver than the troops. Nixon's daughter?

Yes. Your hero? Yeah. Romney's daughters all joined that compound. I have respect for like, you know, Tuvit and Bidet and Triumph for it, all the Romney sons, because like they were annoying during 2012 when they're like, I want to beat up the black president for being mean to my dad, but like they've gone away since then. It's true. I haven't heard of Rhombus Romney in almost 10 years now, and I'm really glad. I miss the Palin kids the most because they were the most reflective of America like that. Oh, God.

They were the median American. When they literally had to take a shotgun and get Levi Johnston to show up and sit next to the daughter, the pregnant daughter, we knocked up out of wedlock at the RNC. The fact that they made a reality, she quit the governorship of Alaska to make a reality TV show about her stupid family. Oh, it ruled so much. And then he got in a fight with his dad. Yeah. And the cop showed up and he fought the cop. Awesome.

He needs to come back. Absolutely. They all need like, yeah, no, that was like, that was the perfect politics because like, yeah, no, they were, that was real shit. That was like, at least I raised my kids shit. Yeah. But Matt Crispin will be watching the view starting Tuesday, September 3rd. You can follow his live tweets of the view on Twitter dot com at hashtag Matt watches the view and is a dumb baby dot com. That will not be the hashtag will be the hashtag.

Ouch, dude. Hearing some of those lineups. I wish I lost a bet. Sounds fucking fire. Oh, God, it's going to be so terrible. Anna Navarro is going to absolutely decimate Trump. Megan McKay might like, she'll be like, well, I don't like him, but that's like too far to say he's not the president or whatever. I read that she was engaged to be married to Al Cardenas, who's another Republican ghoul, but she changed her name already in advance of that.

I don't know if I'm reading the articles. I think that's like to prevent being left at the altar or something. It's like you I've already done it. You can't you can't back out now. That is so fucking lame. Fuck. Yeah, no, I can't. I'm eagerly awaiting Thomas Dewey's great granddaughter to show up on the set at one point for some reason.

Well, we already have the new firing line with Herbert Hoover's. Oh, right. Jesus Christ. That's true. Jesus fucking Christ. Wait, Herbert Hoover. Yes, Margaret Hoover. He's the fucking host of the new firing line.

That is correct. We've never cared about. I can't wait for Alexa Evans Hughes to show up. Charles Evans Hughes. Dude, Wendell Wilkie's son is going to come on and he's pissed. He's 103 years old and he's pissed. I love when you meet a guy who's like a seventh generation Lincoln and he's just a moron. Just a seventh generation.

Like yeah, he's just one of those people who's like, yeah, I think the earth is flat, but they have to keep it for most people because they can't handle it. I agree with them. FDR's kids were pretty fail correctly. Yeah. Alice Roosevelt was cool. She was. She was absolutely.

She was lit. Yeah. Alice Roosevelt was on one perpetually. Maybe like being too horny lately, but I saw like a drawing of her. She's pretty hot. I may be, I may be too horny. I saw someone doing a silhouette and they got me sprung. They were in their Victorian drawing room tracing onto a large piece of butcher paper from a,

from a single candlelight. I don't know if you're familiar with John F. Kennedy, but what happened to his children? They're not doing well. There's been, there's been a handful of issues. I think what happened is like I got all the luck that Kennedy should have had. Honestly, I'm not going to die from baby. Honestly, Joe Biden is because he wrote the anti ecstasy bill that criminalized taking care of people on ecstasy has probably killed more Kennedys and Lee Harvey Oswald.

But one of them, Joe Kennedy, the third is probably going to run for the Senate primary. What's his face in Markey? Yes. He's going to run. He's going to run to his right. And he'll show that he will crush Markey. Yes. And he's probably going to run to his right because Markey's relatively left for a senator.

I also saw another poll that what's his face. The Republican governor of Massachusetts would beat Ed Markey if he jumped into the race. Yeah. Baker, Charlie Baker. They love him up there. Love a good quote unquote moderate. But he would not be Kennedy the third because I don't know. I don't know that name is so powerful.

Those little peasants, they are. We're all fucking peasants and they're the leech lords. Like if you're in Massachusetts, the Kennedys are the family in the fucking castle. Why are the ones that you they're the ones that you brought your millet to at harvest time. That's so stupid. It's like all you've seen them do for the past 50 years is drive their cars directly into concrete dividers. What a dumb state.

What a fucking idiot fly their planes into ski lifts. They're by killing to Kennedy. It's simultaneously. They're just like, yo, I would not trust this family to drive me anywhere, but they should be my king for some reason. Maybe that's it. Maybe they just like seeing them get owned and they're like, oh Joe Kennedy, it'd be really hilarious if he died in a blimp accident.

But it's not happening. Maybe if he was in the Senate, it would be more likely in an unforeseen campaign catastrophe. Joe Kennedy's wiener mobile. Charlie Baker will be running on the post. No, the Kennedys are like if anyone out there has played Crusader Kings, you know, you might you might be the king and you might have seven kids, but they all die of very strange reasons. One is mulled by a bear.

One gets leprosy. Yeah. No, I think that it's sort of like a wicker man thing, I think like the sacrifice of the Kennedys is what keeps Massachusetts, you know, their tech sector vibrant. Oh, oh, oh, it's like the flower wars. Yeah. So sick. Yeah.

They just have a Kennedy instead of like erecting a ziggurat and like carving someone's heart out and just tossing like 600 bodies down it. You just like you give a Kennedy a car and be like, hey, just drive down this highway. Yeah. Go go drive dude. And then the Red Sox will be guaranteed to win at least one more World Series that decade. Well, I mean most people in that state do follow a pagan blood religion, Catholicism. It's true.

It's all comes together. We're all figuring shit out. Yeah. So actually, if that's the case, never mind. They're not there. They're actually savvy practitioners of probably one of the only true religions there is. The seed is strong. Yes.

Yeah. All right. We all have another beer. So like I said, I would love one if you guys want to talk about the Joker. Oh, dude, I'm going to fucking cry. Chris cut all this. Not Chris, dude. Leave the shit.

Leave the shit. This is especially keep the parts where the mic is just on the couch. And when they were talking about stretched resin overwatch also, where you got where I guess the aspect ratio of a laptop. This is the crucial shit. Do not keep in the part where I admit it to not knowing what stress res is. Yeah. No, that's not.

That is some Nixon tapes. Absolutely. That's going to get us. Yeah. Hashtag a Virgil Texas fake gamer girl is going to go viral. One of those accounts that like, you know, just clips every time Jordan Peterson gets interviewed and he's like, you know, I want to become a mountain lion. Like get some in trouble.

They're going to clip you not knowing stretches. You're like, I'm finished y'all. Okay. Are we rolling and everyone's got decent levels. All right, boys. So it's been a while since we had this set up. Will's not in town. There's literally never happened before.

Will has been indicted by a secret court. He is in prison right now about to be executed to his family. We say, hey, that's crazy, man. That sucks. I'm sorry. It's us. It's me, Felix, Matt, also known as Matt Christmas, Virgil, Texas. I've been smoking off brand jewel pods all day.

I have, um, I have a powerful thing that I've come to smoking these. You want to hear it? Yeah. All right. So, um, fucking Noah Bombach is Tyler Perry for Jews. Hallelujah. Dude, this shit, this fucking, these off brand jewel pods, definitely killing me, but they're making me pretty smart.

Um, let's, you know, vulnerability. Let's be honest here. Has anyone here actually, actually liked the Noah Bombach move? I like the squid and the whale. I think that's pretty good. No, dude, I love all of them. I love, I like cooking, kicking and screaming. Um, wait, that was him, right?

That was him. I also liked, uh, the one with Nicole Kidman where she's a jerk. The jerk. Yeah. I liked, um, my favorite one is waiting for hello. And that's the one where, uh, Ben Stiller. I don't know if you made that up or not. It's totally real.

Uh, Ben Stiller has a 15 year resentment against the stepmom because she pressured him into going to Tufts and he's a contract lawyer, but he really wanted to go to the Tisch School for the performing arts. And then he meets a woman played by Greta Gerwig and she's like, she asks him why he's wearing a Tisch School for the performing arts hat and he does a sort of like weak middle age man cry and he has an affair with her while he's house sitting for his brother-in-law while he goes on a diarrhea retreat to Malaysia and it's six hours long and it's just 45 year old saying to each other like, I don't know if I'm ready to be me and it's fucking tight.

It's my favorite movie. You know, ever since you put that as your screen name, Noah Baumbach, uh, Jeffrey Epstein movie, I can't stop thinking about it because one of his favorite actors, Ben Stiller, would honestly be perfect for Epstein. Oh my God, he would kill it if you just like, he doesn't dye his hair for a few months so he gets nice and white or nice and gray. He's uncanny. I did like the squid in the whale, but I haven't seen it in like 10 years and I wonder if

I would still like it if I watched it again, but I know I have no energy to actually like bring myself to watch it because there's really nothing that memorable about the film. No, except it's like Jeff Daniels is a shitty guy. Yeah, he's a shitty dad, a pretentious jerk and the son was screwed up. Okay. Yeah. Oh, it's one of those like vibes movies and there's no, but that's the thing is the opposite of a vibe.

So there's no vibe. His kid, his kid jacks off in the stacks of the library. I do remember that. No, no, no, you're confusing that with happiness. Nope. That's different. He jacks off onto a railing on a balcony. That's two different things.

Oh, yeah. That's a common motif. How arrogant I was to go off against Matt Crispin with his encyclopedia knowledge of sons jacking off in movies. I got every scene memorized. You are the Mr. Skin of my God. You know, it's funny. The show's been on for a while, three years now almost and yet we can still keep it fresh

because this is the first time that this coast configuration has ever appeared on the show wrong. No, it isn't wrong. No, we literally did that. We did it. Remember the Ross Dutette instill article. I don't cut all this then. Nevermind.

I guess I forget. Although the show has been on for more than three years now. Jesus has it really? Yeah. Yeah. And soon enough, you guys are both going to be flopping and twitching, having a vape infused induced seizures. And then we're all going to have to figure out what to do.

No, no, no, no. That's not going to happen. Okay. So I, you know, I recently posted about vaping and a very helpful individual entered my mentions who is a pro vape activist from the UK. And he says that all of the doctors say that vaping is way healthier than smoking and it's actually good for you. Yeah.

And also, like, even if it wasn't, it's not going to happen to me. Well, I mean, that's true. Yeah. I mean, your life is God kissed. We've all understood this for a while now. I'm a sweet boy. You're a sweet boy. You cannot be brought down by conventional weapons.

No, no, no. And it's all just, it's just chemicals that you put in your body that your body refracts into emotions. I imagine in like 30 years, you're just going to look like a Morton show with the fucking device strapped your face in a big backpack full of chemicals being infused into your body. He was in charge. Yeah, that's true.

Because he had the most chemicals. Yeah. This is the point of that movie. Yeah. And this mean woman was jealous of him, but jealous of all of his cool juices. They always do and took down the chemical, the cool chemical man like Joe Biden, like everyone's jealous of him wants to take him down. It's true.

I'm going to say enough. Yeah. I'm going to be like Beto O'Rourke. I'm going to stand up there and say, I don't know what's going on, but this is fucked up. These vibes are fucked. Okay. Let's talk about that for a second. Yeah.

Beto O'Rourke, who has launched his presidential campaign approximately four different times now, has seen it not redound to any kind of bump of the polls, has in the last three or so weeks stumbled across what he clearly thinks of as the magic formula to rise into contention. And that is doing cusses. Yep. No, no, no. Not just cusses, but he is now trying to be the gun guy, which I'm actually surprised

that no one had really emerged as the gun guy. I thought it was going to be Swalwell. Well, that's right. Swalwell was trying. Yeah, it was supposed to be one of those like also ran losers, but I guess they just got lost in the mix. It makes sense to be the gun guy because mass shootings happen every day. So it's always in the news, and if you're the gun guy, you get to be in each one of

those articles saying, you know, like, you know, presidential candidate, Beto O'Rourke was quoted saying, you shit, God, you mother freaking crotch spawn. Can I read two sentiments back to back? Please do. And you guess which one is said by FaZe Banks and which one is said by Beto O'Rourke. Okay. We all know who FaZe Banks is. FaZe Banks is the star of the greatest video ever recorded, the XXXTentacion Memorial podcast

with Lil Xan and Adam 22. He is. I know that. I know it more than my own father's face at this point. I know he is because of you. He is a very unwell person, a symptom of our current times. But you have actually convinced me that he's good. Yeah.

No, he is clouded. He's clouded. I just hate looking at his avatar, which avatar is cool. You got to say that he's pretty nice with it is another mass shooting 30 minutes away from where I live, 12 people dead for absolutely no reason. It could have easily been me could have easily been you. Where the fuck do these weirdos come from? When are we going to get our shit together?

Fucked vibes. All right, and then we don't know how many have been killed. We don't know the motivation, but here's what we do know. This is fucked up. Is that the same tweet is one of them by better work or or is one of them by FaZe Banks? Are they both the same man? I could honestly believe that they are the same man at this point and it would help him if they he was because fucked vibes would be a really good campaign slogan.

I would honestly vote for him like if he went out, if he was on the next debate and he said America is suffering from a real crisis, a crisis of fucked vibes. The vibes in this country, let's face it, folks are fucked. I think that would resonate with people. I will say it's smart and gets you attention to be the gun cussing guy, but it doesn't translate to you winning because that's just not a salient issue even in the Democratic electorate because all the people who are really obsessed with gun control have already, you know, chosen for Kamala Harris or Elizabeth Warren.

Right. Because the ones or Pete Buttigieg, yeah, because they're by definition realists, which means if you're if you're low in the polls, you might as well be a leprous, disgusting peasant that they could dump into an open grave because they care about viability and they care about results and all that shit, which means they gravitate towards winners. You saw a post by a friend of the show Clara Jeffrey the other day, which it really stuck with me. It was in the midst of the latest mass shooting.

You know, the time has come for you to think about when you're sending your kids to college, whether they should go to college in a state with open gun laws, you know, actually, you know, make them pay, which I mean, just it's it's really astonishing to me. That level of fucking upper West Side fucking rich liberal vote vote with your tuition dollars. That's awesome. That's a fucking cool. Oh, we are. We are going to choke Athens, Georgia.

That's like, sorry, my shitty kid doesn't get to spend a hundred thousand dollars learning to do a feeling dancing. Is that is that a thing? Feelings dancing? I think Dennis Leary again dancing about your feelings. Okay. How about somebody major in making coffee flavored coffee? I would love that.

No, I mean, like, I have to say, I like really hated Beto when this all started. Oh, I remember you were just like steaming. You hated his ass. But now I like it because it's like, I because he's a loser for one thing. That's why I like him is because it's like you strip away that he's a member of Congress. You strip away that he's married to like the daughter of like the richest man in Texas and his own family is like, not the richest man, the richest man in El Paso. Yeah.

I thought he was a billionaire. That's not a billionaire. That's disputed. It's a lot of father-in-law. It's disputed. I've heard billionaire. I've also heard not a billionaire one way or another caked up. Yeah.

He's balling. Yeah. No. He's doing well. Is that Beto is a fail guy. Absolutely. I saw I realized this when I watched like the video of him cooking dinner the other day and he made a double cheeseburger on English muffin with a side of unseasoned broccoli.

That is a Mikey Miles. Okay. I think a 30 Rock rewatch and I just rewatched the episodes with what's his name for Mad Men. Oh, John Ham. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You were just bivert you that but Beto like if you look at his life before like he never got anything done he was like a failed musician failed 16 writer evild everything he went to New York to try to make athe to you. Oorg either. He's the classic guy who couldn't hack it in New York Like Like the song is if you can make it here you can make it anywhere. He did not make it here.

I do want to point out. This is the easiest place in the world to make it. and he made it and it just was like, man, it's just not for me. But I think that he's like, I don't think this is like traumatizing to him. Like he knows he's failing. He's, this is a familiar feeling for him before.

Yeah, I think it's more comforting for him to know, oh, this is how this is going. He'd be freaking out if he was atop of the poles right now. Like that's what I think that like him, I think he, this is a Noah Baumbach movie. He consciously blew his chance at being the front runner because he doesn't like succeeding.

But he never had a chance to be the front runner because it was all bullshit to begin with. Well, sure. He just had the email list. I'm just imagining though a counterfactual world where he did just, he announces his candidacy, rockets to the top. Biden doesn't even get in because of how big his lead is.

And by this time in the, in this alternative world, like at this stage of the election and he's like coasting and everybody else is like in single digits, he probably would be like injecting like rhino tranquilizer into his ball sack, just freaking out. He would, he would, he would like, he would blow it so spectacularly. Like he would crash a fucking SUV into a-

I don't know. I don't agree because he was the center of all of the liberal attention in 2018 during the- And he blew it. Yeah, he blew it. He's a loser. He's a loser. I don't think he blew it.

I think it was just an impossible job. And I think he objectively did better than- Yeah, but it's the perfect thing. Than the median candidate he would have. It's the perfect way though. He did well, but he still didn't win. He still didn't win. That's the perfect, that's the perfect Gen X

like moral victory that leaves you still in knowing you're a loser and doesn't challenge yourself perception. Yes, exactly. And that's why he went and he was like, hell, let's do it again. A Gen X is like, that's a Gen X fantasy is like everyone's looking at you. You almost do the thing, but you don't do it.

So you don't actually have to do anything, but everyone's like very proud that you accomplished so much considering. And then a girl in like a jeans skirt holds your hand. It's a- That's what happened to Beto. It's a frickin' participation trophy. That's what it is.

And Beto, I think he actually really liked like going to Iowa and meeting like just Gen Xers who are horny for someone who's like them sort of, but like not inflated by corn. And he likes just going into these rooms and being the center of attention of like the Des Moines book club. Yeah.

He doesn't have to do anything. This is perfect for him. This is like, this is honestly like, this is like taking a dog to a farm. He's having a blast. Oh yeah. Every time a guy shows up at meet and greet and he's got like a pixie shirt on

and he's like, hey, they have a little moment. But you're telling me it's clean. If I go to your neighborhood. Thousand percent. There's not your infeasies. No. No, I mean, there's your infeasies everywhere, but it's typically-

That's what I'm saying. It's typically in bathrooms. All right. You know, Virgil, go to this neighborhood and do the white blood. No, no, no, fuck that. Next Coutilou, we're recording at my place. I will buy a couch for this purpose.

I am actually closest to Felix's neighborhood and I will venture out there and I want to shadow Felix for a day. No, you'll see. I'm accomplishing like twice the amount of work. My mental state has improved drastically. That is true. My body fat has decreased immensely.

Do you know- Felix is absolutely driving. Do you know the etymology of your neighborhood? Let me guess. It was like a Dutch guy. No, it's not. No, it was Regal Bark, right? Yeah.

No, the etymology is really dumb. Oh wait, my brother told me this. Yeah. It was a planned community in the 1920s created by a, during the like the 20s boom, created by a construction company called Real Good Construction. Yeah.

And the name of the neighborhood was Real Good and which was shortened to Regal. That's some Ron Swanson shit, right? Yeah, but that was like cool slaying back then. No, it was like if you had something called Thumen Park now. No, that's some Babadass slang. I would not go to Thumen Park. I'll just say that.

Why not, dude? It sounds terrible. I don't want to Thumen. Joe, we in the Thumen show right now every day of my life. Well, I mean, what's the nightlife like? Typically, I'll get on Counter-Strike around nine o'clock. I've been grinding the bot maps. Typically guys with like four character names

that are made up words PC gamers love to do. Names like, you know, flunk, misspelled somehow. Or the pinnacle of being a PC gamer, thinking that you invented a word and it's called exhumorated. You know, they'll often kill me in Counter-Strike. I want to visit Regal Park. I want to live like common people.

I want to do whatever common people do. I'm not a common person. I'm, I, I've no illusions that I am. He's just a fan of the rapper common. Yeah, exactly. Not the, not the rap, the acting. He's a fan of the tragedy of the commons. His tragedy of the commons is when people listen to commons

just for the cool beats, not the amazing lyrics. Or when they fail to appreciate his performance and Hell on Wheels, the AMC dad program. Yeah, and, and Suicide Squad. That's true. He's in there for five seconds. I feel like Hell on Wheels and Vikings, they were both vying for the same demographic. Yeah. Oh, that, well, dads.

Yeah, dad. Yeah. It's, it's, it's a, they're both rec room shows. There's shows you watch in your finished basement while not talking to your wife. There are millions of fans of Vikings on the history channel. And that to me, like, I don't know if it's a good or bad show. I don't look.

I saw a little bit of it. It's a bad show. That makes sense. Watching a drama series on the history channels to me, it's so intrinsically wrong. It's like getting, it's like, it's like if you bought your shoes at a fucking grocery store. Oh my God, something wrong with that. Kroger sell shoes and they're the same shoes

you should get anywhere else, sir. Vikings is a palace. Vikings is the history channel, like really low budget Game of Thrones knockoff, right? Yeah, but presumably without any of the cool nudity or violence because it's on basic cable. Well, there is violence on it. I know I saw an episode like once randomly in a hotel.

No, we watched an episode together, remember? I did not. No, when we were in, oh shit, where was it? Princeton. Okay. Remember when we did the Princeton show? Yeah. And they put us up in this hotel

and we were like out, we were drinking late and like the only thing to watch was the history channel and that was that show, right? Yeah. The Vikings fucking fake Game of Thrones show. And like, yeah, there was no nudity in it or else we would have beat off together, like we usually do.

And it was, I just realized this, it was the Carl Diggler joke that we wrote together of the fake Game of Thrones that David Milberg wanted Carl to watch the season finale. It just goes to show though. Like if there's a- A lot of Lord Bastard born going past the Southern gates. Because it does imply though

that the Scandinavians are a mythical people and I think that's true. They're not real. Well, that's what you said to us the other day that in the 30 years war, imagine how terrifying it would have been to face this army of guys with INTJ stairs. Yeah, just the INTJ stair coming at you

and 500 guys named Sven over a field. That's how they kicked the shit out of so many poor lumpy German peasants. Well, the fjords have like naturally occurring floret in them. That's true. It counts for just the entire place as the floret stair. It's very tragic actually.

I used to, I made fun of my friend once when I lived in Minnesota. He did 23 of me and he was like, oh my God, this explains so much. All my life I thought we were half Norwegian but we're actually half Danish. And I was like, wow, dude. But actually, the more I think about it does make sense

because Swedes are just like dull INTJ stair, very inward, nervous, dutch, the deal masters. Just kings of the deal. They invented making deals. And Danes are just, they're the Chad, dumb Shads. They really are. Yeah. Danes are the Chad's of Scandinavia.

Yeah. And of Northern Europe in general. Yeah. Wait, Danes are the Chad's? I think so. Yeah, they're very Chad-ish. Not the Swedes. No, no, no, no, no.

No, the Swedes are the virgins. Absolutely. No question on that one. Yeah. They're tall and powerful and hearty and they make computer games where you stare at a map for 90s. Exactly.

Yeah, that's Chad behavior. Chad behavior. Norwegians are like, they don't want to admit that they're Chad's. That's what I found out. They're more artistic than the Swedish but they're like, they don't want to, like in My Struggle by Carl Lovinovskar.

There it is. He's like tall, handsome like athlete but he's like, his narration of his high school years is like, I'm a nerd pussy who sucks. It's like, no, you're like kind of cool for that. Like that's what everyone's like. But they're, they're very internally tortured the Norwegians.

I'm glad we're talking about Scandinavians because we have a bafflingly large Scandinavian. It's true. I guarantee you they're all thrilled right now for us to be talking about. No, we're going to get, we're going to get, well, not like angry, like whatever English we have in place of that.

We're going to get, there's probably one of those words that like- Roofle? I guess would be like the hardest core feeling they could have. They probably have a word for it in their languages. One of those words that has like more J's than you would assume it would have.

Yeah. And there's a line through the O's and all that shit. Yeah, but a bunch of dots on all. Yeah. And it's like, I had a pleasure enjoying your program this afternoon as I am, you know, as I usually do with a cup of drip coffee because we're the only place in Europe

that does that apparently. And, but I noticed that you, you incorrectly described the affect of Swedish people and then only seven more paragraphs. I'm going to put rocks in my pocket and walk into the Baltic Ocean. But I do that every day. This is not a joke.

We've gotten many emails like this. And we also get emails that start with, oh, haha, I know this is a joke to you, but, and then 18 paragraphs about Sweden. Yeah. It is cool though. It is cool because like with the death of forums, I thought we saw the death of the dear Richard letter,

but we do get a lot of them. Oh yeah. Which is kind of, I kind of like it. I honestly, I am willing to pander to our Scandinavian fans and say whoever you hate, we hate them also. Absolutely. No, no, you do not want to get in on that deal with them. Well, no, well, no.

Well, well, well, that, hang on, hang on. Hang on, I thought that meant Finnish people. It does. Also Russians. Yeah, that's fine. But then get a few more aquavits in them and the list gets a little longer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, we love our Finnish fans. I also don't hate anyone. That's true. Make fun of Russia. I don't know. No, I don't know enough about Finland to make fun of them, but I love all of them except for Irish and English people. It's true that that cursed, those cursed islands.

Get them out of here. Hey, become Americans or shut up. Stop talking like, you know, there was a Tory dude, the Brit guy who said the solution to Brexit is make the UK, the 51st state. Yes. What do you guys think? Come on.

I mean, it's not like, okay, so it's not as, it is ridiculous and just absurd and shows how stupid this, like what a repulsive project this is that we made Hawaii estate. Yeah. Just like, hey, this is ours now. I'll get you to the part of it. It's so far away.

And really you couldn't say that it's like more ridiculous to make the UK estate like, dude. Especially since we're playing NFL football there on a regular basis now. That's like the closest thing to just declaring something a colony. But they don't really have anything that I want. We already have Morrissey.

His opinions have only gotten better since he's moved here. They don't. There's nothing I want from those people. What do we, what do we do the deal and we get the NHS and they get all, they got the refills on the sodas, which they got it. Come on. If you, if you told them how many better,

how much soda you get and you come to an American restaurant, they would be like, Oh my God, their minds would be blown. I feel like Brexit could have been avoided. If you just like, it was like a wag the dog war over soda for those people. Like if you just got those people really mad about soda. Yeah. I mean, they clearly, I mean,

when you consider the things that they did get mad out, like colors of passports and shit. Soda would have been an easy fix. Oh, should we talk about Brexit for a second because they are about to go to an election probably. It's mental, mate. They're prorogue into the Queens, prorogue into pleading parliament, isn't she?

As here's what I understand from reading a child's explainer on the guardian.co.uk that Boris Johnson, new prime minister who was not elected by the people of the UK, has asked the prorogue parliament for five, six weeks or so. Yeah. The queen said yes. And by the time they come back.

The queen said, let's do it and be legends. By the time they come back, it would be nine days before October 31st, which is the deadline for Brexit. Where it has to happen unless something else happens. Yes. And they kicked the king down the road a million times, but Boris Johnson and the EU have both made very strong animations that that is over. They're gonna just go for it.

Yes. And Boris Johnson said when he was running for the conservative leadership that, yeah, I'll do a no deal. Yeah. What the hell? To pander to the lunatics. Yeah. And I think it's going to be cool. Even whatever it sounds like it would be an utter disaster, especially because they've not figured out

the Irish border issue. No. Where right now, if you are in Northern Ireland and the Northern part of Ireland, you can just cross that border. It's easy. You don't have to go through any customs checks or anything like that. Even though technically the UK is not in the Shenzhen zone.

And that is one of the key provisions of the Good Friday Agreement was demilitarizing that border, which would, in a no deal situation, be once again reimposed. In a no deal situation, what happens is November 1st, it's, again, we'll keep going back to this because our imaginations are very limited. It's that fucking Simpsons joke

where the Russians say we're back and the fucking wall comes up. Yeah. And I'm sure that all of the Irish Republicans in Northern Ireland will take that very well. There will be no problem with that whatsoever. There are. So all of the opposition parties and the conservatives have,

they have a minority government that's propped up by a handful of DUP Northern Irish psychos. Yes. All of the opposition parties are united against a no deal Brexit. The majority of people don't want a no deal Brexit. And there are enough conservative rebels opposed to a no deal Brexit to tear the whole thing down.

But it all comes down to what Jez does. Well, I mean, he can't do it alone though, right? Because they would need defectors. He's in an impossible position because word is that Boris Johnson is totally fine with calling an election because the way that that election timeframe works is they call election parliament is pro rogued

for an election. That just runs out the clock anyway and ends up in a fucking no deal Brexit irrespective of what happens in the election. So what really has to happen right now is a parliamentary majority has to force him to either not pro rogued parliament or not do a no deal Brexit, like force him

to demand to request another extension. But that would require a real rebellion among at least a few conservative party members. Apparently enough. I mean, enough of what I have got publicly said. Like, yes, no, we cannot have a no deal Brexit. This will be an unmitigated fucking disaster. Well, we'll see because right now,

it makes me think these people are about as useful as never Trump Republicans. And it's just gonna happen. You would say that, but they also fucking shot that. Remember that fucking week when Theresa May tried to pass her fucking package and it just failed over and over again. No, but the thing is, well, that's why-

It was a fucking disaster for her fucking jet. That's why Johnson is like, fuck it, let's do no deal because the lesson of Theresa May's tenure was there is no deal that can pass. Yes, correct. So then you just wait for the clock to run and it goes, the deal is done by time. You don't have to fucking pass anything.

And then it just happens, boom. The other problem is you go to an election and the polls have gone haywire because all the remain people are supporting the Lib Dems now. Of course. And all of the exit people are supporting Nigel Farage's new party, the,

what's it called? It's called the Brexit Party. Ah, the Brexit Party. Oh, very convenient. Very easy to remember. But in recent days, the Brexit Party's poll numbers have gone down because Boris Johnson in that big asshole who says, like,

I'll do a no deal, Brexit, let's have a LARF because now he's the prime minister. Well, that was always the conflict. I mean, the only reason this happened in the first place is because David Cameron had this insurgent anti-EU chunk of his electorate that he was worried was gonna go to UKIP. And so he said, we'll give you a referendum so you stop barking about it.

And then against everyone's expectations, it won. And they've been dealing with the fucking backwash of that ever since. And yeah, the only way that you can keep the conservative coalition together is by saying you're gonna do Brexit, even though Brexit could bring the troubles back. It's basically, yeah.

Even though they're utterly unprepared for a no deal Brexit, a no deal Brexit is like an actual disaster. It means all their ports are fucking stopped up for months. It means their economy crashes. It means people can't get in or out of the fucking country because they do not have any kind of fucking guidance for how customs and border control works.

It's gonna be lit. What a shitty country. I mean, those guys and us were really killing it, I think, honestly, in all ways. Like four square across the board were ripping shit up. And I'm very proud of all of us. The Anglosphere, doing great. Honestly, I would like Australia to maybe

up their game a little bit. I mean, they're lame, obviously, and very dorky. They've got that guy, Scott Morrison. But, you know, they need to do something, you know, like give kangaroos the right to vote or just go crazy. I mean, Australia's killing, because there's like, there's really like no,

nobody you can vote for in Australia. No, it's amazing. Who's like, yeah, I don't think we, like I don't think we should literally suicide our content. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait, hang on. Everyone there, fully blackmailed. One thing I never understood.

One thing I never understood. And it's like kind of like a common deal to the way that the liberals treat Trump voters in the middle of America is, I don't understand what that base of Brexit voters are really saying or what they want. Is it just racism or anything like that? Because they've got a prime minister

who is fucking Turkish ancestry. Well, I mean, it's a bit of far away. I mean, it's not like he wears a fez. That would be cool. That'd be the coolest thing he's ever done. We should all wear a fez. No, I mean, it's the same. It's the break down of late capitalist democracy.

It's just, there are contradictions that are no longer can be papered over and it's causing the whole system to just melt down. What about the millions of fucking pro-Brexit voters who do not live in the UK and are just like fat whales sunning themselves on the beaches of Spain? Well, yeah, they're out of our dumb pigs. Exactly.

There are villages people. Yeah, our villages people in our boat dealers and our, you know, petty bourgeois. But they're also fucked. If this goes into, if there's no deal, they get fucked. Aren't our fucking, everyone who votes for Trump and for continuing fossil fuel extraction

is fucked in any meaningful sense in the very near term. There's a category five hurricane, the fourth and fourth, three years coming to hit the United States. Obviously we're cutting our own throats, but nobody gives a shit because none of this stuff is connected in anyone's mind. They're operating out of pure spite and pure,

like all they know is who they don't like and they want to make them unhappy. And that's what they're operating off of. I mean, you know, we were in London a few months ago and yes, it was not a functioning society. And yes, it's something that has to be destroyed. Absolutely 100%. I mean, they're doing it.

They're doing a great job. I'm proud of them. Let's make it happen, folks. Let's get that, let's get that V for Vendetta move going on. Let's do it. Let's get John Hurt out of there. Let's get the guy with the hat or the mask. Yeah, anonymous.

Yeah, the cool guy. 4chan's going to be president of the UK, so sick. So anyway, right now, probably in election. That'll be fun. I mean, that would be fun. I mean, who knows now? Like everything's so fucked by this Brexit shit and by the scrambling of priorities.

That's the thing, it scrambles the fucking deck. And yeah, it's like, you know, the Corbin idea is always, you know, the strong platform, the strong left platform. Nobody wanted to deal with this less than Jeremy fucking Corbin. Yeah, exactly. Now he's caught in this fucking, he's entangled in this. It's a huge distraction.

There's no way to talk about those kind of issues when Brexit's the only thing anybody cares about. So no way to talk about, yeah, fundamental issues. And I saw there was a headline, the fucking headline story in the Financial Times, saying that Corbin wants to seize $300 billion worth of stock from major British corporations to redistribute that to the workers.

Yeah, amazing, phenomenal. Phenomenal, wonderful, great, great. That's what an election should be fucking fought over. Instead, he's gonna be tangled up in this shit. Yeah, well, that's, it's great. It's like, as the system collapses, it throws off these like short-term crises and contradictions and riddles to try to unpack

and it leaves you unable to make any kind of broader, longer-term plans or appeals. 300 billion pounds. Yeah, it's good. It's great, we love to see it. All right. So I mentioned Hurricane Dorian, currently barreling towards East Coast of the United States,

having just laid waste to the Bahamas. A category five, one of the most powerful hurricanes ever seen, not just in the Atlantic, but ever in recorded meteorological history. But there is actually something even more dangerous heading slowly but steadily towards America shores. And I, of course, am referring to the Joker movie. Yeah, no, this is, I mean-

Okay, chill, chill one, don't my smile. The only, like this is, we just talked about how Jeremy Corbyn's left platform is offset by this unforeseen social catastrophe, possible end times event of Brexit. This is, could derail Bernie's campaign because everyone's gonna have to deal with this. Yeah, no one's gonna want to talk about Medicare for All

or fucking Green New Deal. It's gonna be, what are you going to do about the Joker? Every question at the debates in the fall is going to be, what are your plans for the clown prince of crime? Okay, now someone has made a film about the Joker, adulating him, like not critical of his behavior. We're used to seeing the Joker in films, of course, and in comic books and television.

Right, as the evil character that we all despise. Exactly, as- Because he commits crimes. He is the dastardly villain, who is the antagonist of our protagonist, Batman. This film, for the first time, will feature the Joker as the protagonist. For those of you who don't speak Latin,

protagonist is a Latin word that means the good guy. Yeah. And it means that the movie endorses all of his actions. Exactly, millions of impressionably young Americans are going to go to the theater and they're gonna come out thinking the crime is something to laugh about. Yeah, I mean, we, look, we were talking about

how this could offset Bernie's campaign. Jake Tapper is an impressionable young 38 year old. What if he, you go to debate one night, he's dressed up like the Joker and he's committing crimes there. Bernie's too old to stop him. Joe Biden, baseball player in his youth, could maybe try to throw a fastball at him.

The Joker's too fast, no one can stop him. Kamala Harris. Yeah, Batman, that's right. She is a crime fighter. No, so if you've been paying attention, which you shouldn't be. You should not be paying attention. The Joker premiered at the Venice Film Festival

this last week and the film was met by a number of responses. It's gotten some good reviews, it's gotten some bad reviews, but a thing that goes through all of the reviews is a concern that this film is dangerous. That our young men specifically, our young frustrated sort of in cell, you might say, involuntarily celibate men,

might see this film and take the Joker as some sort of hero figure and decide to do crimes in honor of him. And honestly, there's a real debate happening now about whether this is something that we can allow to happen in this country. Allow this thing to be screened. What do you mean me?

I don't really get a vote on whether films are released. Well, I didn't think anybody did. Yeah, I don't, that's not something I, I mean, I think like I've been getting mad at a lot of these posts, but I really don't think it's like emblematic of anything beyond like a couple thousand like dumb shits on Twitter and like, you know, the new type of journalists

that got a computer in 2012 and it's like, I'm an expert on radicalization or whatever. It's, I mean, it's really just like now to write an article or to make a post. You have to have some type of moral invective against whatever it is you're talking about or for it, everything, every, because you're so divorced from power or anything happening

or you feel possibly your own destiny, even though that might not actually be the case. Every dumb thing that happens to the world is just either a, it's just the gravest moral test or it's the possible apocalyptic event. So I really just, like part of it is just like the business model for media, which is like, hey, dumbass, write an article that everyone hates.

So we may, you know, we make like a few coupons on ad right now. Well, nobody even clicks it. We just all look at the headline and say, oh, that's super. Yeah. Oh, so I hope someone puts this headline next to another headline and says,

normal world, not any chief nods head. But also it's just like, you like, no one can really just like, I shouldn't say no one. I'm doing the same thing. I'm criticizing, but like for a lot of people, they can't just, you know, what's, what's like a good day of posting for you? You post about your lunch, you're like, you know,

what, what if a fucking bird war flip box? You know, what, what, what a, you know, I find a very, what if, yo, what if it was a price is right, but like a porn star fucked all the contestants. I find a very unusual animal that nobody else has found before and then I quote tweeted. Yeah. I say, that's me. Yeah. For me, like my ideal day of posting is like,

yeah, I talk about my lunch. I like to reply to some, like a post that a video game company is making to, I don't know, I'm mad at one of the developers or something. I say something completely just wrong and inflammatory just it's factually incorrect to get people to yell at me and it never works. You know, this is something for example, like, you know, Tyler Perry is a better director

than Steven Spielberg ever has been. That's a good day for me. I can, you know, dust off my hands. We did it. Good day at the post. I had fun. You had fun. Everyone had fun. Yeah. But, you know, for some people it's just like, well, hey, this is like my only outlet.

I feel like this is the only place I can, you know, be me, but it can't just be fun. It has to have, I feel so divorced from any power or any events. Every event that happens seems like it just happens to me. I have no say in it. Like, you know, maybe I have to raise some sort of like moral invective against this thing

that will just kind of be inconsequential. Like, I'm sure it will be a good movie, but I don't think it's gonna change the world. The gas is out of that tank of just the fantasy that, oh, I have moral righteousness and I will say something and people will flock to me about it. And that that will thereby create change. Well, yeah, no, I don't think anyone believes

it will create change. Well, no, a lot of people believe that is the problem. I mean, I don't know how else to process it. Like when these people say like, we need to stop valorizing this character, it's like, first of all, who's we? Second of all, what would that mean? Like your tweet, what is that going to start?

Is it in your mind, someone's gonna read that tweet and it's gonna start an avalanche of people like turning to their kids and explaining to them, don't idolize the Joker until people stop wearing and wear so serious t-shirts. That fundamental fantasy and that's the, how social media deludes you is everyone has that fantasy that yes, I will give the truth

and just by giving the truth, millions of people will rally to my side and that will create some kind of power that overturns the current situation that we're in. I mean, it's the only explanation, I mean, if you don't have in some dim recess of your mind a belief that that's gonna happen, then what the fuck are you doing other than,

I hate to use the phrase virtue signaling saying, I want everyone to know that I don't like the Joker and his evil schemes and his incel friendly backstory or whatever the fuck. I don't know, I kind of disagree with that. I think like in general, like posts are in the possible worst state they've ever been because like go on there and it's dog shit.

It's just dog shit. Everything makes you feel bad. Everything is just like the immediate most emotional reaction you can have to any input. It's any talk about like, climate change, it doesn't go to like, well, what can we do? How can we mitigate these actions going forward? How can we reduce casualties as much as possible

if we don't invent something? And it just goes to like, arguing against this person who doesn't exist, who's like, you have to be a vegan or I'll kill you. Oh, guess what, motherfucker? I'm not or getting mad at that person or just the thing I hate the most is just like, someone who lives in the middle of America going,

oh, we're all gonna die, so fuck it. No, you're not. We all have to live through this. You all have to live through the rest of your fucking lives. There's no out, but all of it just makes people feel like shit because it's just the same people saying the same shit to each other all the fucking time. It is just like a communicable illness.

It just makes you angry and shitty all the time, kind of like what they say the Joker movie would do. But at the same time, I don't think, I think that like, there is a sense among people who just post like moral invective against movies that there's a small sense that they are doing something, but it also like, if you, just all you do is you're on there

and you're just receiving and giving the same stimuli and generally growing matter and matter as you feel more and more disconnected from your own life due to events outside of posting, it does feel good to try to rally some indignation or maybe try to tell people what they should do. I don't think it's a hazard. I don't think, I'm not like,

I'll like briefly get mad at a shitty post, but then I'll go on with my day, but it is like sad to see. It is sad to see, I wouldn't call it a hazard either, but you know, in the early days of the internet, theoretician said that this would be a democratizing tool that this would fundamentally change our politics and change the world by giving every single person

a voice in a digital forum. We all know that that's bullshit. What the internet has actually done and what social media has done is just replicate the same power structures that have existed. Right, and all the fantasies about the internet, like bypassing censorship. Well, censorship really isn't the problem anymore.

It's the deluge of information. There's just so much to process. You don't know what to process. You consume and react to everything. You're exhausted before you've even done anything. You are so overpowered by the stimulus that like, how could you prioritize anything? How could you respond to anything

that actually feels powerful? You're just, it's millions of people just being like, this isn't it to each other. It feels like shit. And it feels like shit for everybody. And I feel like one of the reasons that something like a movie like The Joker ends up galvanizing everybody to get some sort of a take and decide,

you know what, all those Bob Dole reactionaries in the 90s talked about violence in movies and video games causing real violence. They were right. That was a plank on Bob Dole's presidential platform. Those guys were actually correct. I'm not gonna backtrack. I'm not gonna like, stay, wait a minute.

What does it mean that I now am endorsing this old right wing, moral majority position now? I'm just gonna barrel ahead. Yeah, no, Frank, fuck Frank Zappa. Yeah, right. But I think the reason that there's the power, the desire to do that is one, because of the deluge that Felix is talking about,

whenever there's one thing that happens, like say a Joker trailer that everyone sees, then you feel that moment of I can get something in now because everyone's talking about this instead of just the dissipated, the dispersed ideas and all the other shit. I'll show you this. So every single Nazi, all right person believes

that politics is downstream from culture. Yeah. That was Breitbart's, yeah. Famously said by Andrew Breitbart while he was jacking off in the toilet that he died on. Yes, R.A.P. to a real one. R.A.P. And the real horseshoe theory is that liberals

also believe that completely. Yes, 100%. And in the early 90s, when Do the Right Thing came out, which is a masterpiece that everyone should watch. And that is very, very well-lit today. He does the right thing. There were liberals writing, white liberals writing in the organs of white liberalism

saying, and Spike Lee has commented on this, saying that I'm afraid that this movie by showing African-Americans rioting after a police killing will inspire riots that black people cannot watch a movie without being turned into doing that sort of thing. Yeah. And it was racist, it was offensive,

and nobody ever fucking paid any price for fucking saying something so disgusting as that. The current arguments about the joke were exactly the same. Yeah, because it's the same deal of, you have inhabited a world, they're trying to make sense of a world where Trump won, where they cannot use any material explanation.

There can be no material explanation for why Trump won. So therefore, it has to be culture. Therefore, we have to look through the chicken entrails of popular culture and media to find exactly what led Trump to win. And the dark joker, that's a good example, then you get to input motives onto this group of people. You do not understand the incels and who you're afraid of

and assume things about them the same way you would about any other group that is different than you and who you harbor anxiety about. I mean, I don't wanna say it's totally the same because I don't think fear of incels is widespread and consequential as white, upper-crossed fear of black people. But this idea that it's the movie that would do it

and not just complete social alienation and societal loneliness, which just is completely unaddressed. Completely, no one gives a shit about it. No one fucking cares. And they have no answer for it. They do have an answer for the joker, a hector people into trying to convince everyone else not to see it, which of course,

and this is the real depressing thing about this, is no matter what people's motivations are for talking about the joker, all it ends up doing is being free advertising for this movie that now is just too dangerous for the American people. Hey, we've been suckered into it. We spent the past 15 years.

Exactly, I've been excited about it though. I love Joaquin Phoenix. He owns the theater. Well, we gotta watch this. I mean, we're absolutely gonna do it on the show too. Like we haven't done this. We haven't done one since Aquaman, but we will absolutely do a joker episode.

Can we go to one of the bullshit bougie asshole theaters? As we do, yes. Well, the thing of what, here's the, but also, actually, this is the time that I wanna say this. I hate going to those fucking bullshit Alamo Draft House fucking theaters with the shitty food and all the crap, all the rules.

It's like, if someone's talking during your fucking thing, you hold up a slip, it's a red slip, and that lets someone know to come by and shush someone on your behalf. I fucking hate all that shit. It's terrible. My ideal is a movie theater, it's just a normal movie theater, but you can drink.

That's it, period, end of sentence. I don't eat food, you just drink. You can't do that in a normal theater? Yeah, just bring it in. No, they fucking search you. They do not search you. Yes, they do. I, what, like they-

In here in New York City, yes they do. They like pat you down. Yeah, they fucking do. You're bad at bringing it in. I brought booze in the theaters in New York City with no problem. In Union Square? Yeah.

How? You never heard of a flask? All right, okay. No, I wanna drink a six pack. Well, okay, yes. Okay, that might be harder to do. Yeah, I don't wanna like the nip from a fucking flask. Virgil, I feel like-

I wanna drink a good six pack while I watch a goddamn movie. Virgil, I have an idea for you. So what you do is you get a police uniform. And say you have to bring the beers into the theater as part of an investigation. It's just- You guys remember when we saw-

You figure out what the investigation is. When we saw Patriot Day, they literally fucking searched us. Well, I wonder why. On Patriot Day, when I was there. I wonder why they- Oh, shit, the third Sarnaya brother is here. They took feelings in the back room.

They combined the two Sarnaya brothers into one. They searched his party. These are all the scientists that made him. No, it's a really simple idea, okay? You guys have a normal movie theater. None of these fucking like little tables and little bullshit and there's waiters and crap going around.

You'll sit like a normal movie theater. You can popcorn and eat like candy, but you also have beer. That's it, period. End of sentence. All right. We'll take you to Shark Tank with that. No, but yeah.

We're all going to see the Joker. Everyone's going to see the Joker because all this talk about the Joker means that no matter what you think, you have to see it to be part of the conversation that's going to happen when the movie comes out. You have to have a take. So everyone's going to have to see it.

Even if you think- I'm kind of fucking showing your hand to be like, oh, this is dangerous and scary. Like, oh, so you're just saying what you're going to be scared by. Yeah. Idiot. Yeah, yeah.

What if a ghost sees that you fucking dumbass? But I actually realized that. So people have talked for a while about the sort of calculated outrage that movie studios have teased to get people mad about like Lady Ghostbusters or the Star Wars movies. Trying to point out, oh my God, look at all these awful bros who hate this progressive film.

Don't you want to stick it to them by going to see it? It feels like this is a mirror image of that. It feels like it's the exact same thing of saying, oh, this movie, it's going to be loved by- It's all these woke, weepy soy people are crying about it. Doesn't that make you want to see it and own them? What's in the Bane movie supposed to be this? The Occupy fucking Batman movie?

Yeah, but Evan McMullen beats his ass in that movie. Well, the thing is, is that all these movies, and this was so frustrating when people tried to turn superhero movies into the basis of their politics, is that all superhero movies have absolutely incoherent politics because the people making them are mostly dumbasses or like weird torii freaks like Tressa Vernolan.

And the whole concept of a superhero is anathetic to politics in the first place because politics is about collective decision making and superhero comics are about one person with transcended physical powers that can just dictate things that they're will, which is the opposite of politics. Or in this case, persuasive powers,

that the fantasy that I'll just go on television, I'll just like hack all the feeds and I'll tell people the truth and they'll all rally to my side. That's the coolest thing in movies. Someone gets on TV and is like, corporations care about money, it's cool. Yeah, and the Joker's gonna do that

and then the revolution's gonna happen. Matt, what's the second thing we're going on? All right, so this is my last thing to say. And everyone listening to this is most likely already gone over this a million times. But I have to talk about it because it is. We have to, so you guys have not talked about this. No, we didn't.

We skipped it because it happened before we were doing the JFK episode and we wanted to make that. You're right, there's a lot of people listening to this show who are not online and for some reason they listen to this show and God bless them. All right, well, I will run on through the whole thing and honestly, I don't even know if I have anything to say about it other than I'm in awe.

Well, we're gonna do a reading. Yes, at the very end. This is the most amazing thing that any op-ed writer has ever done because we've talked about that's been our bread and butter for three years now, making fun of the costed idiocy of the pundit class. Elite opinion.

Elite opinion holders and how Ophish and self-centered and absolutely pigheaded they are. No one in all of our time talking about these guys, including things like the Rod Dreyer's Exorcism Live tweeting have come close to the sheer, insane, self-absorbed, oblivious mania of this man. Now, we've talked about him a number of times on the show, New York Times op-ed writer Brett Stevens.

We all know him, we all love him. This motherfucker last week, he was on Twitter, name searching himself, like you do. Like we do. Like we all do. And he found a tweet by a lowbie professor that called him a bed bug in a joking fashion. Had nine faves and zero retweets.

First off, are you okay? Second, what the fuck? In response to this, Brett Stevens emailed the professor and CC'd his boss at the university he teaches at to tell him how he did not feel like it's a professional or virtuous. Oh, do you have that email?

Yeah, let me find it. Dear Dr. Karth, someone just pointed out a tweet you wrote about me calling me a bed bug. Someone just pointed it out. There is no fucking way that some random person found this zero retweet. He fucking found it. No, it's also like minutes after it was tweeted.

I'm often amazed about the thing. Supposedly decent people are prepared to say about other people. People they've never met on Twitter. I'm always surprised about how people could be fake people. I think you've set a standard. I would welcome the opportunity for you

to come to my home, meet my wife and kids, talk to us for a few months, and then call me a bed bug to my face. That would take some genuine courage and intellectual integrity on your part. How would it take intellectual integrity? I promise to be courteous no matter what you have to say. Maybe it will make you feel better about yourself.

Please consider this a standing invitation. You are more than welcome to bring your significant other. Courageously, Brett Stevens. Why wanna go? I want to do it. Yes, I want to. We should all go together as a show to Brett Stevens' house.

He should make us dinden. No, he's gonna do fondue. We'll dip the bread into the boiling cheese and call him a bed bug. I hate talking about him usually, because he's very dull. Oh, terrible writer. Boring, bad writer.

Boring, vapid dipshit. Also, he doesn't have any interesting opinion. None of his opinions are freakish enough to be funny like Ross Dutat. He's one of those guys who fucking quit Twitter and wrote a fucking article about quitting Twitter. And then, guess what, didn't do it. Now we like fucking name surges and bitches about it.

And he said he quit again. He'll be back. But this is like the coolest, are we gonna, we're gonna get into his article? We're gonna do the whole thing. Let's do it, let's do it. But no, I would just want to say, so that's the first thing,

is that a guy, he name searches a guy who calls him, he narks on his boss and invites him to fuck his wife in front of him while calling him a bed bug. Yeah. Which again, we, Chapel Trap House, offer to do. Absolutely. We will seduce your wife, Brad. We will.

I do like, the email was very like, he wanted to be domed. Yeah. Oh, big time. It's like, I'm amazed by how you people act. I invite you to, you know, maybe bring your wife to my house, make her 50 feet tall and squish me like a bug.

I, you, okay. You really, you really want to say that to me? I want you to tie me up, roast me like a turkey and eat me for dinner. So, so, so he, he, he not only tries to get this guy fired, he claimed later that he wasn't trying to get him fired. But why would he said, I wanted his boss to know what his employee was doing.

What, why, what, for what reason would you do that? No, that's trying to get only to get fired. So he offers to have a weird swinger fondue party with this guy and also get him fired, which again, I want to be invited to. Obviously he, he goes on TV to defend himself, lies out his ass about how he wasn't trying to get the guy fired.

And it was a huge, he did. And that's where he claimed. Yes. He was interviewed and he said, I wasn't trying to get him fired on where MSNBC. I, it was one of the morning shows. And he's like, I wasn't trying to get him fired. I just, I think it was MSNBC.

I wasn't trying to get him fired. I just thought his boss should know what his, what was going on, the kind of horrible hate speech that's going on. So of course everyone made fun of him. We all had a good laugh. And if that was the end of it, it would still be like maybe a top five moment

in op-ed insanity. I mean, this guy who it's been pointed out a million times and spent his career, you know, calling Palestinians mosquitoes and using every bit of language in his arsenal to demean anybody who he considers lesser all of a sudden. And he's talked a million times about the, how the necessity for being able to have your feelings

hurt and how there's no safe spaces and everybody needs to sack up and all these college students need to stop crying. And now he's doing this obviously, everyone knows this, hilarious. And if that had been it, it would have been amazing on its own. But then the motherfucker topped himself

instead of just trying to let it go, even though it led the president of the United States to a tweet about him. The president said after this happened, quote, the infestation of bedbugs at the New York Times office at OANN was perhaps brought in by lightweight journalist, Brett Stevens.

A conservative who does anything that his boss is at the paper telling him to do. He is now quitting Twitter after being called a bedbug, tough guy. So he went from a guy with 1,000 followers doing a nine-fave tweet calling him a bedbug. Within three days, the president of the United States calling him a fucking bedbug.

It trended for like two days and then he finally actually activated his account. And for the last time, for like, give him three weeks, he'll be back, I guarantee you. He's a little pain-picky. He's gonna sneak back in. He's a little pain-picky. That's the only good argument for posting online

is they can call the president to do something like that. Now this is already, like I said, a top tier cell phone, one of the greatest cell phones ever. But then instead of just letting it die down, because you can't, you can do anything. You have no supervision. You have no oversight if you're on the op-ed page. It's a license to kill.

You could write about anything. You could write about his rose garden. You could write, he could go back to writing about safe spaces without a hint of self-awareness. Instead, this motherfucker on Thursday dropped this op-ed. It's a nuke. This is the star bomb of op-eds.

Oh, absolutely. This is the, this could crack the earth in half. By the way, just a heads up. If you're the Sellsburger and you want us to stop making fun of your shitty fucking op-ed writers, hire me as an op-ed writer. Because I would be the Dave Barry of the New York Times op-ed page.

I would just write pleasant humor pieces about like just the day-to-day things that are just a vexing deal. See, but the problem there is that no one's gonna share that in anger on Twitter. And that's the entire op-ed business model now. And that's why I gotta say, we've talked about how bad Brett Stevens is as a writer

and how pointless his shit is. He is able to do stuff like this. He'll always have a job. Nevertheless, nevertheless, my offer stands. If you want someone to talk about how, you know, soaps just aren't as good as they used to be. If you want someone that will ask his friends to dress up like Spider-Man and take pictures of them

and say that Spider-Man's real now, I will do that job. If you want someone to just hang out in the newsroom and give people encouragement, I'll probably do that. Better yet, if you want someone to abuse the journalists, I will do that. I'm really good at doing journalism. So instead of just letting it go by over the transom, on Thursday, Brett Stevens, a man who,

from all of this we have to surmise, has never been criticized by anyone in his life to his face and has never read criticism of him until last year, wrote this. World War II and the Ingredients of Slaughter. Oh, this is, this owns, this is, I hate, this is the most I've ever liked him because it's like, this is the,

like possibly the worst reaction you can have to anything. Once again, you know, before you read that, should be noted is a fucking climate change denier who believes that Palestinians are a type of bug people. And that we should go to- It's literally called the mosquitoes. And that war with Iran is inevitable and righteous. Like a wretched, worthless human being.

There's absolutely nothing of value in his writing. And then the subhead, the spirit of certitude that dominated the politics of the 1930s is not so distant from us today. This owns- Here we go. World War II began 80 years ago this Sunday after Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union signed a

non-aggression pact that was in fact a mutual aggression pact. Not true. Yeah, it was called a non-aggression pact, idiot. Look it up. Adolf Hitler invaded Poland on September 1st, 1939. Russia's invasion of Poland, no less murderous, followed two weeks later.

Gonna need a site on that one, Auschwitz and whatnot. You might wanna look that up. On November 3rd of that year, Joseph Goebbels, the propaganda minister, gave Hitler a report of his trip to Poland. Quote, above all, my description of the Jewish problem gets Hitler's full approval, he wrote in his diary. The Jew is a waste product.

It is a clinical issue more than a social one. For several years, many commentators, including me, have written about the parallels between the pre-war era and the present. There's the rise of dictatorial regimes in Tenthana, venging past geopolitical humiliations and redrawing borders. Germany, Italy, Japan, and Russia then.

China, Iran, and Russia now. Of course, Iran, gotta throw Iran in there. Gotta get Iran in there. You hit bonus, Brett. There's the unwillingness of status quo powers to coordinate their actions, confront dictatorships, stamp out regional wars, and rise to global challenges. The League of Nations then, the G7 now.

When will you nuke Tehran, you cowards? There's the upsurge of nativist rancor, protectionist barriers, and every nation for itself policies, along with the deep doubts about the viability of liberal democracy and the international order. Father Coughlin and America firsters then, Donald Trump and America firsters now. All that plus three crucial factors,

new forms of mass communication, the rhetoric of dehumanization, and the politics of absolute good versus absolute evil. The relatively, yeah. What does that mean? It means that people, they weren't nuanced. You know, the way that Brett is about Palestine and Iran. Bush Republican, by the way.

Yeah, you know, the famous nuance that went into the invasion of Iraq that we all know and love. So he's taught, he's talked about radio. He basically says that radio is like the Twitter of the 1930s. Radio then, like Twitter today, was the technology of the Id, a channel

that could concentrate political fury at a time when there was plenty to go around. It was also a time when ideology dictated that fury be directed at entire classes of people. The decade began with Soviet propaganda cheering Stalin's announcement of the liquidation of the Kulaks as a class, a reference to millions of Ukrainian peasants

who had dived forced starvation in the Hall of Dormo. That's not true either. That's like he said he did. Yeah, that's absolutely not in any way a historical consensus. Here we go. The political mindset that turned human beings into categories, classes and races, also turned them into rodents, insects and garbage.

Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Are you saying like any sort of thing that attempts to sort people based on their position based on the means of production? Noting that there's a class, like there's two different classes and they have different relationships

to means of production and some are exploited by others. That's, I gotta tell you dude, that's basically Nazism. I hate to let you know. Antisemitism is exactly the same as delousing Heinrich Himmler would claim in 1943. Getting rid of lice is not a matter of ideology. It is a matter of cleanliness.

Watching Warsaw's Jewish ghetto burn that year, a Polish NSMite was overheard saying, the bedbugs are on fire. The Germans are doing a great job. The bedbugs are on fire. Where did that turn? Anybody remember that word? Why would he what?

That seems random. That would be in there. Someone look that up. Yeah, well, the thing is that there's a hyperlink. All right, this is the, this is the topper of toppers. There's a hyperlink in that quote, and it leads you to a Google Books search for a book.

This is so, this is so top tier. This owns. This is the most amazing thing that anyone has ever done. Okay, links to the search. It's a book about the Jews and Poland during World War Two. And it's like a, it's called Secret City, the Hidden Jews of Warsaw 1940-1945. And what was not removed from the link

was the search that was, because you go into Google Books, you put a search for words, and then it'll give you returns in the text. And someone, presumably Brett Stevens, wrote in the box, Jews as bedbugs. So, oh, so what happened? So to find out it was anti-Semitism,

he went into Google Book search and just typed in Jews bedbugs. Yes. And he just picked the first result, or the only result actually. Yes, the only result. And then he put it in his fucking article to say this was anti-Semitic.

Oh, also in the book, they're like, this also may have literally been just been about bedbugs. Yes, yes, they're literally, the text that he cites does not even claim that the quote had anything to do with Jews. It might well evolve and about bedbugs. Brett Stevens owns this is just, no one has ever approached this

in the history of op-ed writing. This is a week of posting and writing that will never be topped in my opinion. I will have to say that as a scholar of people being mad online, this is a new strain of being mad online. The aggressive Google search to try to prove that what you're mad about is actual racism

and other people should care about it. That he is basically a Auschwitz ghetto Jew. This for being called a bedbug by a Jew. Felix, I'm sorry, I never knew what you had to deal with. I know, yeah, no. I mean, well, don't, you know, I just catch the collateral strays off it. It's really, Adam is the biggest victim of all time.

That's true. But I mean, I gotta, now I, every time I know that you're on Twitter, you're on, you know, you're on Twitch and you're playing Fortnite and when you get called like, when you get called like a turbo homo by some 14 year old. Now I know that that's essentially just that's like, that would be, yeah.

What a three year old headshots you had for it. It'd be funny to like, I wish there was localized chat in Fortnite to just send somebody like a Google book search for like, oh, Jew is try hard. Let's see that trope in history. Just sending them. Oh, you say that I'm a one time Michael clip. Like I killed this guy, this Twitch streamer

and he went clearly hacking and it would be cool to like look for, you know, evidence of Goebbels. Yeah. Accusing the Jews of the Jews have clearly hacked the Western economy. Yeah. Yeah. Hitler, Hitler at Nuremberg claim

that the Jews are posting cringes throughout Europe. This is, I, no one's ever tried this. No. And it's also like, this is the least boring thing Brett has ever done. Oh, absolutely. No, he is, even when he's annoying, he's boring. Yeah.

This is the first time that he has injected his just oatmeal slop with any real personality and vigor. And it is just the personality of an insanely thin skinned little fontleroi, a little Francis Buckton, Buxton fancy lad. Cause remember he grew up the child of a fucking oil CEO in Mexico city with like a squadron of maids to powder his bottom every day.

Yeah. That's literally like Buchenwald. Yeah. And has never faced any kind of critical in interdiction his entire life. Cause he went straight from college to the, he was the fucking editor of the Jerusalem Post. He was 25 years old and went to the Washington Post

then straight to the New York Times. Just a, just the softest life anyone in history has ever lived. Never encountered a single critical interdiction into their just soft-brained mundane reactionary horseshit. I admire it because I would like to have a soft life and not have to interact with any sort of negative criticism ever.

Yeah. And he's, he's mostly conditioned. He's mostly made that happen. But then, Because no, I actually agree with him because anytime anyone ever contradicts any of us or says something vaguely mean to us, that's harassment. And I report them to Jack and they get banned.

No, I would, I would like to, you know, have an easy life like him. Unfortunately, when anyone criticizes me, I will name search the post and I will swat the offending person, but that's a lot of work. And I, it's maybe illegal. I don't know. But my favorite thing about this is that, you know,

Brad always gets you angry because she's like, this guy has this abs, he has one of the most valuable pieces of real estate in, in media and he uses it for just drivel and boring horseshit. He's only there because of the New York times and the felt they needed another conservative after Trump won, but they're too much of a bunch of fucking weak-blattered Nancy's to post,

to put in an actual Trump supporter. What if you don't need conservatives actually, because they have literally, there's literally no conservatives, anything to add to any conversation ever. I mean, I would like to see just like a Q guy on there, just for the fun. Right, a real Republican.

Just like, yeah, get like. Yes, like an actual median Republican. You're actually getting like an insight into the thoughts of real voters. And that's interesting. Yeah, no, that would be helpful. Yes. Yeah, no, get rid of, get rid of Brad,

get rid of whatever other, Ross, get rid of the fucking conservatives who like represent maybe a hundred people max and like get someone in like, you know, hashtag, MAGA, hashtag destroying. Michael Flynn's son, perfect. Oh God, Michael Flynn Jr. would be amazing. I saw a guy on TikTok who was wearing a,

he was a huge round man wearing an ill-feeding Trump t-shirt. And he was dancing in front of like a CGI image of a fire. And it said, on the screen, it said, when I hear the Amazon is burning and he had a gas can and he was pouring it onto the fire and dancing and throwing his hands up in the air, give him that fucking spot. Do you actually, if you actually want ideological balance,

yes, if you really want to be the paper of record that represents the majority of people, that's what you need. But the thing is, is that, so that was always annoying and I always got mad at Brett, but now I will always cherish the fact that as much as he is in the cat bird seat and media, got the best job and in punditry, it still tortures him

and he hates it and he's miserable because he has to deal with criticism, which he cannot handle. Yeah, but let's cut this shit. I think we solved this one day. Brett Stevens, let take us to your apartment, make us dinden, we will come there, we'll have a nice meal and we'll scream at you to your face.

And we'll be nice about it. We're not gonna be violent, we're not gonna be mean. No, we're not even gonna raise our voices. We'll just tell you what you are. Like very calm, even voices, tell you what a piece of shit you are. And we will twitch stream it. The other thing is he's either tortured

or he loves it and he's a little pain piggy and then that makes me even more mad. I don't think he's a pain piggy. Which makes me wanna yell at him more, which he would only love more. I don't think he's a pain piggy. I think he's just like, he just like doesn't know how to respond to this,

which is shocking to me. But I guess like, if you look at, being the editor of the Jerusalem Post, the opinions you publish are just like different, like the, you have their little like dot matrix printouts like you have in the Wall Street Journal, but it's just two men with really low hairlines. Simple pictures.

Yeah, it's simple pictures. Like staring at each other and the entire call, they have a debate column and it's just them shoving each other. Boys at a restaurant called Pizza Buffet. Boys, I think we've gone on for like four hours. So we should probably cut it. Yeah.

Anyway, point is, there are many societies in the world. A lot of them had bugs. Bugs, that shit was tropes. Friends. It was not vibes, it was tropes. Friends, as we always intend on this show, you're dumber now for having listened to this. Absolutely. Yeah.

Like how do you encounter this? This week of discourse in the paper of record, the thing that's supposed to set the standard for America's political conversation and come away with any thought other than, we are just hooting gibbons, screeching towards annihilation, just stabbing our brains out with knitting needles.

If there's one thing to say, it's that we will never, ever, ever talk to you about Hong Kong. Never. Go to hell, eat shit, fuck off. You dumb bitches. Goodbye. Bye.

Isn't it rich? Are we a pair? Me here at last on the ground, you win me dare. Send in the clowns. Is it at bliss? Don't you approve? One who keeps tearing around, one who can't move. Where are the clowns? Send in the clowns.