Chapo Trap House - 350 - Gotta Have My Pop! (9/16/19)

Episode Date: September 17, 2019

We examine Joe Biden's "Corn Pop" saga through the lens of a few classic Chapo characters, then lament how Biden's long history of seemingly genuine nice guy-ness is undercut by his equally long history of shit politics. Also, the President just fully admits that Saudi Arabia directs our foreign policy by fiat, so that's cool and good. Watch our Necronomicon Call of Cthulhu show here on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byUHsEpiT0g Catch Felix's Fighting in the Age of Loneliness screening & Q&A here: https://t.co/V8uIoukpaI?amp=1 And get tickets to see Felix with the Yeah, But Still boys in DC this friday here:https://kennedycenter.sched.com/event/SlrU/yeah-but-still-podcast-with-brandon-wardell

Pressing play now, but the Home Depot story. Yeah, this is pretty cool. I mean Home Depot and in here, honey, honey, this is the guy I was talking about. You know, this guy was talking about and the story that he was recounting was this. Okay. A black head houseman of Red Dome had just verbally accosted some newbies. And you know what? It was kind of over and above and out of line, but you know what? He could get away with it. And then he turned around and did the same thing to a group of guys and I was included. And I said, are you talking to me like that? And he said, who the fuck do you think I'm talking to like that? And I walked up and I said, well, then check this out, bitch. Say it one more fucking

time and know this. I bet you before fucking escapes your lips that you're knocked out fucking cold on the floor. Okay. And so what's going to be fucking step and he would do shit. And I said, that's what I thought. And I walked to my bump and I started to read and he came up and he said, roll your shit up. Like, you know, go to the fishbowl. You're in trouble. And I said, fuck you, man. I'm not doing that. He said, roll it up or I'll go up there for you. And I said, go do that. Okay. And while you're out there, keep this in mind, man. When you get out, I'm going to find you in whatever cardboard box you're in and I'm going to kill you. Okay. And you know what? When he was gone, all the brothers that had heard

me say that didn't like that. They started talking a hell of a shit, you know, and he's loud about what they're going to do and what they could do. And I had enough of it, man. And so I pulled the cool hand motherfucking Luke bitches. I stood up and I walked out to the center of the fucking floor and I slowly pulled my shirt up until it was near my eyes and boom, it was passed. And then I slowly took it down and I knew what was going on. And I said this, I said, if any motherfucker in this building has a problem with me, okay, then step the fuck up. And I waited and no one did. And I said, either step the fuck up or I'm going to go back to my bump and start reading and

you better shut the fuck up. Okay. Or maybe I said it smoother. Anyway, yeah, it was a big deal, man. Cause, uh, uh, Bay Rob came back to my bunk and he said, you know what, uh, you know, you stay in your book and I'll stay in mine. And it's like, okay, I'll stay in my sandbox. Bye bye. Get the fuck out of here. Okay. I told you to be gone. Right. I didn't say that. All right. I just got a laugh. And, uh, you know what, uh, the whole dynamics of how whites conduct themselves, you know, I mean, not trying to get over, but you know what, they could actually hold their head up. Okay. And you'd have to fucking look down. Okay. Uh, like their pusses. And, uh, yeah, it was not every white boy was like

that, but too many, right? You know what I'm saying? And, uh, it's like this, uh, the whole depot. Yeah. I just told you, okay. How about the four pounds and three ounces story? All right. I learned a lot and I learned that, uh, it makes a difference. This was the diving board area and I was one of the guards and there were a lot of through the three meter board and you fell off sideways. You landed on the dams, uh, the darn cement over there and corn pop was a bad dude and he ran a bunch of bad boys and I did. And back in those days, you saw how things have changed. One of the things you had to use, if you use palm aid in your hair, you had to wear a bathing cap. I said, Hey, Esther, you off the board, I'll

come up and drag you off. Well, he came off and he said, I'll meet you outside. My car, this was mostly, these were all public housing behind it. My car, there was a gate out here. I parked my car outside the gate and I, he said, I'll be waiting for you. He's waiting for three guys and straight razors. Not a joke. There was a guy named Bill Wright, mouse, the only white guy and he did all the pools. He was the mechanic and I said, what am I going to do? He said, come down here in the basement where mechanics where, where, where all the pool filter is. You know, the chain, there used to be a chain that went across the deep end and he cut off a six foot length of chain. He fold up. He said, you walk out

with that chain and you walk to the car and say, you may cut me, man, but I'm going to wrap this chain around your head. I said, you kidding me. He said, no, if you don't, come back and he was right. So I walked out with the chain and I walked up to my car and they had, those days used to remember the straight razors, bang them on the curb, get them rusty, put them in a rain barrel, get them rusty and I looked at them, but I was smart then. I said, first of all, I said, when I tell you get off the board, you get off the board and I'll kick you out again, but I shouldn't have called you. Esther Williams, I apologize for that. I apologize, but I didn't know that apology was going to work. He said,

you apologize to me. I said, I apologize for that, not for throwing you out, but apologize to what I said. He said, okay, close the straight razor and my heart began to beat again. Okay, there you have it. The corn pop saga. Yeah, it's the same story. That was the first thing I thought when I heard this, like obviously Dan Quinn has like more flourish than Joe Biden, I would say, like probably a better performer, but the thematic similarity of, you know, wait till you see what this white boy does. Right. Incredible. Yeah, but his story doesn't have pomade, rusty straight razors, a guy named corn pop, a guy named mouse. I am a little

bit like, I, I understand that Joe Biden is old, but is he lying and actually much older, like pomade, Esther Williams, like how old is Joe Biden? And I'm trying to do the math and it seems like his, his, his references would have even been dated then. Yeah, he came up to me, pointed the knife at my eye and said, I'm going to make you like Lashin and a loose. I mean, that all sounded very early 50s, like Blackboard jungle. Yeah. And I don't think he would have been old enough to even been a lifeguard at that point if his given age is accurate. I, my favorite detail of the story is when he just says, you remember how you take the straight razors and bang them on the curb and leave them in the rain

barrel overnight. So they get rusty. Yeah, you remember that? I do remember that. Ever everybody remembers taking the factory owner's daughter for a long walk and you dip an apple in the local barrel of molasses. I mean, so like this Biden story has been really funny to me because the response to it by like, you know, serious political media is like, Oh, actually the corn pop was a real guy and people in Wilmington say this happened. It's like, yeah, no, I'm not. It's a funny thing. Isn't really that I thought he was lying. It's that like, why would you tell this story? I also think that there's a difference between this and like the Cory Booker T bone story, which is just like pulled out of pure fabulation.

Yeah, just bullshit. It's that like, I 100% believe that some version of this happened. But if we were to make kind of a Rashomon of the event and get maybe like onlookers telling of the story where he screamed at a guy and called him by a woman's name for not wearing a swim cap because of pomade, like I think maybe the story would seem a little bit different. I do like though that it does prove once and for all just how senile Joe Biden is because there is nothing that signals rapid, late stage cognitive decline, like the fact that Joe Biden cannot remember the name of the president he served under for eight years, but he remembers corn pop. That is what that's a dying brain. That's what a dying brain does.

It goes backward. He that's gonna be his rosebud. Yeah, he remembers corn pop more than any conversation he ever had with Obama in eight years, more than his children. Absolutely. Yeah. Oh, by the way, we should we should clarify for those of you who don't know for those of our listeners who were born in like 2010. And the first audio we played was Dan Quinn, who is a insane man from YouTube watching for 10 years, a legendary known for his tall tales and verbal tics. And we just we thought he sounded a lot like Vice President Joe Biden there. Yeah, he was recounting his most fond memory of screaming at a black man from a very high chair. You know, I'm I'm taken by this story because obviously everyone in the media is

talking about corn pop. They've investigated the story and given it zero Pinocchio's the highest rating of truth imaginable. Everyone on Twitter, they want to hear about corn pop, corn pop, corn pop. I want to talk about popcorn. I want to talk about our beautiful boy popcorn and how he's eligible for parole in December 4th of this year. Let's go, baby. This is his second stint in jail. I think it's second degree robbery charges. He has to do 20 percent of his full sentence, but he I looked at Palma sent me the Kentucky Board of Corrections website. You can look it up. All the people who are incarcerated and popcorn is eligible for parole in December on December 4th. So I just want to send out good, positive vibes

to popcorn currently doing a stretch in Kentucky for, I don't know, aggravated battery in second degree robbery. But I just wish him the best. I want him out and I want him blowing gas again sometime soon. I don't know about the gas because didn't he get popped last time corn pop popcorn last time for parole violation? I don't think that they're probably going to be testing his piss. Well, yeah, he's going to be. He's going to have to, I don't know, maybe get on that CBD shit popcorn's got a pop. He's got a pop. I don't know. I mean, again, for those of you wondering who the fuck popcorn is, I would go back to, I think the first time Adam Friedland was on the show and we discussed the legend of King Pop.

Just again, another just dynamite figure. Everyone in the media should know about him. They should be talking about him. He is just like he's he's a young savage. That's all you can say. Like he's he's he's a he's a god. He keeps it real. Gang shit. Right. Gang shit. So yeah, free popcorn. I guess officially introduced the show. It's your choppo. So me, Matt, Amber and Felix calling in. But yeah, Joe Biden, he's had a hell of a stretch of a couple days. Yeah, I'd like to go back to the debate from Thursday last week and talk. Just just read for you now. The transcript of probably his most, I don't know, memorable moment. Yeah. When he was asked by one of the moderators, what responsibility do you

think that Americans need to take to repair the legacy of slavery in our country? I'm good. This is a pure transcript. This is totally verbatim. What he said to and reply to this question. Well, they have to deal with the look. There's there's institutional segregation in this country from the time I got involved. I started dealing with that redlining banks, making sure we are in a position where look, you talk about education. He just stops himself and goes, look, education. Look, you talk about education. I propose is we take the very poor schools, triple the amount of money we spend from 15 to 45 billion dollars a year, give every single teacher a raise to the $60,000 level. Number two, make sure

that we bring in help, bring in to help the teachers deal with the problems that come from home. The problems that come from home, we have one school psychologist for every 1500 kids in America today. It's crazy. The teachers are, I'm married to a teacher. My deceased wife is a teacher. They have every problem coming to them. Make sure that every single child does, in fact, have three, four and five year olds go to school, not daycare, school. Three year olds at school. That is literally, by the way, like one of the huge things that like education advocates

and teachers unions are fighting against is the professionalization of childhood. They're like, they can't read. You can't train them. Their whole job is like, they have the whole, their whole job at that point is playing with blocks. It's literally the best thing for them at the end nap time and animal crackers. Just let them do that. In fact, have three, four and five year olds go to school, not daycare, school, factories. I got held back. Three year old got held back. His fucking paintings through dog shit. Yeah. I like, I like the idea of a three year old Goodwill hunting where it comes in and arranges the Tonka blocks in a perfect way.

He's like, it's not your fault who did this? Who colored in inside the lines and this entire color. Um, uh, continuing on social workers help parents deal with how to raise their children. It's not that they don't want to help. They don't know what to play the radio. Again, it's not that they don't want to help. They don't know what to play the radio. Make sure the television excuse me. Make sure that you have the record player on at night. The make sure the make sure that make sure your wax cylinders of, of, uh, of Thomas Edison reciting the alphabets are playing all night long and Andrew sisters. Make sure the kids hear words. A kid coming

from a very poor school, a very poor background will hear four million words. Fewer spoken by the time we get there. Moderator. Thank you, Mr. Vice President. And then he goes on. No, I'm going to go like the rest of them do twice over, but here's the deal. The deal is we've got this a little backwards. By the way, in Venezuela, we should be allowing people to come here from Venezuela. I know Maduro. I've confronted Maduro. You talk about the need to do something in Latin America. I'm the guy that came up with 740 million to see it. Those three countries, in fact, changed their system to people don't have chance to leave. You're acting like we just discovered this yesterday. Thank you very

much. I said this before, but I feel like like seeing him on the debate stage is actually like a little like disturbing and sad until you actually read this transcript and then it's charming, but seeing him kind of riff is great because I think he's the kind of senile where you're having like a really good time and like that's the good part. And so he's like two weeks away from just like reciting an old Amos and Andy routine, believing that it happened to him. The first part of this is just like, oh, he just doesn't know what the fuck he's talking

about. And then in the last like, I'd say two minutes stretch, like it would be two minutes of real time on the debate stage. It's like, oh, I see we've called on a character who's dying of old age in a Terrence Malick film. I guess like before we started talking about Venezuela, okay, make sure that you leave the record player on or then he corrects himself and says the television and he's like, no, he doesn't the other way around. Yeah. No, he corrects. He says radio. They says television. Then he says record player.

Make sure you have the record player on all night. So what he seems to be getting out here is that poor kids need just constant like an assault of like noise and chatter at them all day long, like a really neurotic animal that needs to have like daytime talk to talk TV on all day long, or they start barking and driving the neighbors insane. And he's referencing basically he's referencing this. He says like, you know, poor children will hear 4 million fewer words by the time they reach school age. And this is like one of these sort of factoids, these sort of Gladwell like statistics that I see quoted a lot that like, you know, sounds plausible in some way. But you know, since the debate, I've found

out that this is actually very dubious. And it's one of those statistics that are are they throwing like Romanian orphanages in here and like sacking the once again. It's one of those one of those social science things. It's never been repeated, which is like half of or more of all social science research. It's just people here and they're like, ah, now I understand this issue. And then it turns out, yeah, this thing is just a fucking piece of data that never got replicated and has no real basis to it. But it's something guys like that would grab on to because it's a perfect technocratic solution. What do we do about poverty? We'll just leave the radio on. Perfect. Boom. You don't have to stay

intervene at all. Just hire a few hire a few more social workers to go around and go. Did you leave the radio on and you're set? Yeah, little banjo listens to Terry Gross all day. But actually, I will say this, like one of the solutions, one of the technical solutions that people had for this during like the 70s and 80s. And I'm generally opposed to technocratic solutions was actually a public television. Like boring ass Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street were actually very good. They're incredibly good for people who had maybe one parent who was working or two parents that were always working. Like the idea that kids are just locked in a white room, even like relatively deprived kids is like a deranged idea. Like

I'm also like I'm very like sort of anti screen. But Mr. Rogers and his boring ass trainers and cardigans is actually incredibly good for children. Yeah, I mean, it's just like the thing about like, you know, poor parents don't talk to their kids as much as rich parents I think the idea is that they're not around. Yeah, I mean, they're at fucking work. Right. You know, but it just again, it's like one of these factoids that's heavily touted by people that are really into like, you know, education reform and things like that. Well, they're also just like this middle class myth that like middle class, like PMC people are the only people that really love their children. Like they really believe that because they

talk to them all day. Yeah, they talk to their neurotic, you know, like hypochondriacal eight year old all fucking day until until he has like 12 different types of diagnoses and, you know, I mean, just let your kids watch good television. It's fine. Mr. Rogers, you limit it. Prano's, you would the early Tarantino. It's fine. Yeah. So that's show Biden. Let's go back to the Thursday night debate, though, because it was weird. It was boring. We got really drunk because it was boring. They're all boring. Matt, Amber and I watched all of it and it was interminable. And it was like, as we said at the time, it was it was touted. Someone's parents talk to them interminably. It was touted as the

first time that all the front runners would be on the same stage together. And there was, you know, hopefully would be some fireworks, but there was none of that. And despite the fact that you had like the top four all standing next to each other, it seemed like most of the debate, it was the losers and the nobodies who got most of the burn from the moderators. They spoke the most. It was very weird. Participation. It wasn't that good. It was I mean, it was really boring. I actually I mean, they're all kind of boring, but I thought this one would be less boring specifically because we had a Biden Bernie thing. Elizabeth Warren and Sanders would go like 20 or 30 minutes stretches of just not saying anything. And

then the whole first half of the debate, Bernie was very horse. Yeah. And then when they went to the first commercial break, I think he got like a halls or like some tea with honey in it or something. Ricola. Yeah. Yeah. Bernie. Bernie sustained temporarily, temporarily sustained a cancer from eating pussy too close. And if he's serious as a candidate, he'll stop doing this. It's called Michael Douglas syndrome. Yeah. The other thing, I mean, just like, you know, not really much to talk about it other than like you do see Biden, not just when he's making a single statement and answer to a question. He can hold it together for like the first half and then like, you know, his brain will just start buffering. He can

hold it together long enough for every fucking media stooge to say, oh, Biden looked vibrant because they just say, well, people are only watching for the first half hours. So when his body started falling apart, they weren't even checked in anymore. No, but in either individual responses, he sort of like lags out, he starts clipping halfway through. But then overall, over the course of the debate itself, like it was towards like, it was in the last third of the debate that he gave the Victrola child rearing answer and then switched to talking about Venezuela. Yeah. The other thing that, again, whenever I watch these things and I'm like, I try to give my, you know, dime store pundit analysis of like,

you know, who won? Who's up? Who's down? Who had a moment? It just shows how like completely out of sync I am with everything else that goes on in the media or like how they metabolize these things. Because I thought the nobody who, you know, had the best moment of the debate was Julian Castro, because he went at Biden and had a couple of pops at him. But then I performed well. I read, yeah, I read all of the analysis of it and it said that like Castro was the big loser because he looked mean. Yeah. One of the people who said he looked mean was Rom fucking Immanuel, the guy whose entire career is being a public piece of shit because that was cool. Also a man that like looks like a vicious skeleton.

Yeah. Well, that's because they're all doing. He looks mean. They're all doing Biden defense squad. Yeah. Like that's what they care about. Yeah. I do have to say, like, you know how people bring up like the point of Cavadaugh nominating such a mediocrity was to was cruelty was showing like, look how little it matters. We can push this piece of shit through. He won't do anything about it. We're going to get him through. And I know how bad it'll feel when he gets in there. That's kind of what it feels like when you stick Rom Immanuel on TV. Yeah. You get a thousand other pieces of shit with the exact same opinions, but they didn't cover up a murder. They're not as hated as this guy. Now we're going to put

him on MSNBC. What the fuck are you going to do about it? Yeah. No, and like, and he's going to call people mean. Yeah. And Matt, like Rom Immanuel's entire public persona, like the reason Obama made him his chief of staff was due to the fact that like he's like him and his whole family are abusive assholes to everyone around him. Yeah. Like he literally needed a bad cop. And yeah, Rom Immanuel is fucking mean and scary. Yeah. He like as feeling so you said he helped the police cover up a murder. I mean, there's like politics mean, which is just like doing epic compound swears and maybe being like 7% less afraid of direct confrontation than the other pussies who are working with you. And then there is

actual monstrous zero empathy person, which is what Rom Immanuel is. And no, like this expectation and then fucking, oh God, that little chipmunk, Buttigieg, like he had this thing where like after Castro was like, what, Joe, did you forget what you said like a minute ago or something like that? Which he was like, you know, this is why people are tuning off of debates. They don't like these, you know, they don't like to see attacks or whatever. And as we said, it's a fuck, it's a debate. Like you're supposed to go at each other. Not only is it a debate, it's a primary. It's a contest between these people. You know, I would like basketball, but I don't like it when the other team takes the ball from

the other team. Yeah, you shouldn't be allowed to steal. We did have Matt and I both had like a little bit of a deep moment of Midwestern shame at that point because it was like, God, he really is like his idea of politics is conflict aversion. And like he was like, he just showed his like pink Midwestern ass there, just being like, you know, if we could all just be nice, everything would be fine. Now that Tim Ryan is out and Tim Ryan exhibited a very low cunning. He's a very rat like person who is probably only up there to like get an unsecured loan for like a chain of yoga studios that are for some reason taught by a lumpy oafish unshapen man. But Pete Buttigieg

is the most cynical person on that stage by a fucking mile now. Like he doesn't think he could win. He can read the graphs. That's what he spent his entire fucking life doing. And he's just up there preening for the adults watching going, uh, can we, you know, can we stop disagreeing with each other so much? Can we talk about what unites us? I am, I'm I'm somewhat gratifying to see people finally turn in, tune into what a fucking cynical piece of shit he is. I do like the fight between him and Beto, the slacker versus the apple polisher, both pulling negative for some reason. Yeah.

Buttigieg followed that up by going on one of the Sunday political talk shows. And he said that what I don't like about Sanders and Warren's approach to politics and policy is that he said we can achieve the same goals without dividing the country. Absolutely. I mean, the thing is, it's not a divide. It's a light shave. That is what it is. You're knocking off the very top. It's not a split. It's not a divide. It's a nice, clean shave. And what you're doing is you're shaving off this hyper elite, oligarchal, super rich interest group, and you're leaving everyone else like the vast majority of people.

Yeah. I mean, there's this idea that people are turned off by political polarization, but like an election by its very nature is political polarization. You know, like a non polarized country, like everyone would vote for the same candidate. Yeah. And that's ideal. We'll get there someday when the bath party rises out of the ashes. You want to return to Joe Biden for a second and the corn pop saga because this is a story that was covered by the Washington Post in July of this year in a very fawning profile of Biden titled, What a lifeguarding job on the black side of Wilmington taught Joe Biden about race. And this, I think, is the first appearance of the corn pop saga that I guess

he's leaning on now. But it just begins here. It says the furor about Joe Biden's race politics started as soon as he decided to run for office as a candidate for the Newcastle County Council in 1970. He made expanding public housing central to his campaign. Angry white residents worried that poor black families would become their neighbors gave Biden a derisive nickname. The first time the phone rang and someone said, you lover, you want them living next to you? I was shocked. Biden told the Wilmington News Journal at the time on the black side of Wilmington. Residents weren't surprised. They had been using that provocative phrase to describe Biden for years, but as a term of affection, Joe was one of us. We're called

Richard Smith, 71, a black resident whom everyone here knows as mouse. We helped make him who he was as Biden makes his third president run for presidency. He is once again trying to navigate the tricky terrain of race. His democratic opponents have accused him of tricky race. It's very confusing. It's full of trickery. His democratic opponents have accused him of being on the wrong side of busing and crime legislation as well as being overly accommodating to segregation of senators. He was. His effort to personally wrangle with matters of race began even before his controversial turn on the city council, on the county council back when he was a 19 year old teenager trying to figure out what he could do to bridge the

racial divide. His solution was to become a lifeguard at a predominantly African American pool in Wilmington. Scream at black people from his tall chair. That's where he met mouse and others with nicknames such as corn pop, the Puerto Rican and Marty. Marty's not a nickname. That's just a name. That's just a short name. Puerto Rican also not a nickname. Well, no, it's actually funny. They go down the story. That's an adjective. You find out that the Puerto Rican actually was a nickname and everyone called him the Puerto Rican because he was light skinned. Oh, OK. So these are these, you know, corn pop, the Puerto Rican and Marty are friends who would become friends who would shape his life and provide his formative

experience and understanding black America. I was not out marching. I was not down in Selma or anywhere else. Biden once said I was a suburbanite kid who got exposure to black America in my own city. Smith can still visualize the first time he saw Biden, a skinny 19 year old with big sunglasses and brown hair sporting a big smile and a whistle around his neck trying to discipline teenagers like Smith, who were bouncing on the diving boards. The pool had back then had become overrun by neighborhood gangs like the 13th Street Stompers, the Hornets and the Romans. This is from the most West Side story. They were snapping and doing step ball changes on the diving board. Speaking of these gangs, they said they loved pranking

Biden. The cost to enter the color one of those really dangerous gangs that do pranks. The cost to enter the pool was ten cents, but a tiny smack talking teenager known as corn pop wanted to try to get wanted to try away to get his friends in free distract. He did not mention that this was a teenager. He was screaming at a teenager. I mean, he was fair. He was also like a teenager at the time. That's just good old teenager on teenager yelling. I mean, like it's fine. I'm not saying that there's some like necessarily like old man yelling at teenager, but it like wasn't like this person was like, like somebody with recourse somebody with like a job. And it's like, how dare you? I'm an adult. So it says, yeah,

corn pop wanted to try away to get his friends in for free distract the white lifeguard. Corn pop got Biden's attention by talking about his mother, Smith recalled. Biden blew his whistle and demanded corn pop show him some respect. Meanwhile, corn pops friends jumped the fence hopped into the water and laughed over their declared victory. They were testing him recalled Maurice Pritchett Pritchett known as Marty, who served as a lifeguard on the shift with Biden. He had to earn their respect. That isn't testing someone. That's completely insane. This is like the most caught mentality where it's like, Oh, they're testing me and I'm going to get through this and then I'll earn their respect. It's like, no, they're

trying to get into the pool for free. That has nothing to do with you. You're an obstacle to swimming in the swimming pool. Eventually Pritchett said he earned their respect by continuing to show up. He learned some witty cut downs to master the art of playing the dozens discovering that some good yo mama jokes could be more disarming than blowing a whistle. I would really, really like someone to ask Joe Biden if he could remember any of the yo mama jokes that he laid out to, you know, do the dozens with the classic format. Yeah. The black kids and earn their respect by just doing so. I was at I was at the first player haters international convention. I was there before Chappelle. You can ask him

to soon. He was playing basketball with the Romans when his shift ended and other meaning the actual Roman Empire is actually 700 years old. He's like, I'm a highlander. I'm a highlander. I'm the strongest one. Okay. I had to earn my great friend Ramirez. He was a Spaniard who was Egyptian. Things were more complicated back then. Okay. I had my my wife, most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life. Okay. And believe me, girls back then in the Scottish Highlands, they weren't too keen on watching. This one was, I'll tell you, this one was and I had to watch her die of old age. And that was tragic. And that's the reason the reason I'm out here. I want, I want the quickening to happen. I want to live like a mortal. Okay.

And I want to quicken your kids learning inside these schools. Okay. I am going to fight the Kurgan. I'm going to fight the Kurgan for you. A lot of people say Joe, don't fight the Kurgan. He's an Asian evil. He's stronger than you. No. That's a bunch of crap. I'll do respect. That's about I'm going to beat the Kurgan. Okay. And I will die a mortal man. I will merge with everything. Okay. Oh, my God. God, the Highlander did also have a deceased wife. But am I remembering correctly? Did the Kurgan kill her? Or did she die of old age? I think he died of old age. Kurgan assaulted her. Oh, okay. All right. Thank you, Felix.

You know what, respect it to the God, Clancy Brown, though. That's the song. My God, that voice. Clancy Brown. Oh, man. He's the best drill instructor, Zim. Yeah, come on. Um, yeah, no, I just said, uh, yeah, he ended up, he had to earn the respect of the Romans, uh, by, you know, playing with them and learning, learning how to do the Tetsudo formation in the phalanx. I just see, like, I feel like when dangerous minds came out, like Biden fantasized about like, you know, wearing the cornrows and sitting the wrong way on the chair across from Coolio in the video, it's, it's like this, this is a long, this is a long standing kind of weird

liberal fantasy where it's like, look, I'm going to learn to get along with black people by like, uh, telling them how they're living their lives wrong. I'm going, I'm going to dawn them into friendship. It's like this really weird bully mentality. It's similar to how he got his passion for rail transport from watching train arrives at station. Motherfuckers old. Uh, so it says, um, uh, once he was out with us, Miss said, he never wanted to leave. You just have to imagine it at the time, Pritchett recalled, white people just weren't listening to anything we had to say. And Biden, you could see it in his eyes. He wanted to know

about us as the kids in the neighborhood became more comfortable with Biden. They shared stories about being black in America. A fellow lifeguard told him he didn't want to stop for gas on a trip to North Carolina because of what dangers might lurk for a black man at a station. They asked whether white girls were any different from black girls. They told him about the indignity of being forced to sit in the balcony of a movie theater. Biden took a special liking to Smith, a reform school student who was around six years his junior. Smith had a temper and a stutter and found it difficult to control either. But Biden had a solution. I used to get bullied for having a study stutter. He recalled Biden

telling him, you still are buddy. Look into the mirror and practice talking. That's how I got rid of mine. Going on here, it says, uh, it talks about the, the riots that happened in Wilmington after Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated. Um, and it says, um, months after the rioting quell, the officers were still patrolling the black neighborhoods with guns. Residents were forced to adhere to curfew for Biden. It was yet another example of the unfair treatment of black residents that he learned about at the pool. And unlike the protests in the South, this situation was happening right in front of him. Biden has at times faced criticism for exaggerating his involvement in the civil rights movement.

During his first president, during his first presidential run, he told voters that he was one of those guys that sat in and marched and all that stuff face pointed questions about those statements. A few months later, he then pulled back during the riots. He had chosen a different way to get involved. Fresh out, fresh out of Syracuse University College of Law, Biden tried to help by working as a public defender. He quit after about a year. The part-time job wasn't very lucrative. And according to at least one of his old clients, Biden wasn't very successful. Nice guy, but he couldn't convince a judge. Recall, Errol mad dog Larkin 73 in a phone interview with the Washington Post. Larkin ended up serving

five years on a robbery conviction. The jail had a lot of people who had him as their lawyer. So then after being a public defender, he tried to become a politician. And he went to Maus for some advice about how to reach out to the black community. So it says here, Maus, you work in Biden as Smith one day. Biden wanted to campaign in the projects and asked Smith to be his bodyguard. Smith saw his role, though, as more of an ambassador. He coached Biden on how to make a good impression. If you sit on a couch and a spring digs into your butt, don't move, Smith said, he told him. If a roach climbs on your shirt sleeves, keep talking. If a mouse comes over your feet, don't move. That is absolutely insane. Poor

people don't sit around with roaches crawling all over them and just not respond. That is the most insane fucking thing I have ever heard. I have a feeling that any support that Joe Biden ever got from black voters had to do with the fact that, like, dude, this guy was just covered in rats. He was a stone cold killer. I want him fighting for me. You know, yeah, if a large spider crawls across your face while you're talking, don't register any reaction. Just keep talking. That is fucking insane. If it crawls in your mouth, just hold your mouth open so that it can just say, sit there and just be silent. I respect you.

I will say, I think it's pretty clear that Joe Biden, particularly locally, has black supporters. I think Joe Biden has black friends. I think Joe Biden really doesn't offend people when he talks to them in person. He's just like a political moron and has bad politics. This idea that absolutely everything is a lie isn't even that useful. There are plenty of people who have black friends who are morons. It doesn't make you smart to have a few black friends. I just think what we're seeing with Biden and this stuff, I don't know, a generational gap that people over the age of 50 just relate and find all this stuff very charming. If

you're under 40, it makes absolutely no sense to you, or it just seems bizarre and like... Yeah. It's multiple generational gaps too. People in their 70s, yeah, they like Joe Biden. He was probably literally way less racist than every other white person that they were around. Last bit of advice that Maus gives him is if you get offered Kool-Aid in an old mayonnaise jar, drink it. Not that word. A lot of people use jars for glasses, but it would be odd if there was old mayonnaise still in the jar though. That would be pretty gross. I wouldn't drink that.

No, you have to serve Kool-Aid similar to the philosophy you use with a cast iron skillet. You have to season the mayonnaise jar. They get passed down. In the story though, Biden showed a moderation that his opponents and some of his supporters did not expect after he campaigned on a civil rights agenda. Biden told the reporter he would not be a, quote, crusading rabbit who would make excuses for African Americans because of systemic racism. He used two hypothetical examples to make his case. I have some friends on the far left and they can justify to me the murder of a white deaf mute for a nickel

by five colored guys. He told the Wilmington News Journal in 1970. I like every word in that sentence. A white deaf mute for a nickel by coloreds. That's great. Well, his far left wing friends would say of this deaf mute murder. They would say the black men had been oppressed and so on, but they can't justify some Alabama farmers tar and feathering an old colored woman. I suspect the ACLU would leap to defend the five black guys, but no one would go down to defend the rednecks. They are both products of an environment. The truth is somewhere between the two polls. He spent more than 30 years in the Senate

trying to find the in between. Just like Dave Matthews. So he goes on here to talk about busing and he says, the concept of busing is a rejection of the whole movement of black pride. Biden said in a 1975 NPR interviewed recently unearthed by the Washington Examiner, a rejection of the entire black awareness concept that black is beautiful and black culture should be studied and the cultural awareness of the importance of their own identity, their own individuality. And I think that's a healthy solid proposal.

I will absolutely say that he is acting in accordance with every sort of liberal think tank that has existed since the Ford Foundation. There's a really good book called top down about how the Ford Foundation did this amazing bait and switch when people are like, Oh, well, black people, particularly urban black people are incredibly deprived. What if we told them that actually you have community control? It's not that we're not giving you the same resources as everyone else. It's that you're in charge of your own thing. And they sold that entire like bullshit proposition to tons of sort of aspiring PMC like black self appointed leadership class. And it resulted in increased segregation. Like what he's talking

about is bullshit, but it is literally the bullshit that has carried on since like sort of Ford Foundation liberalism said that like, Oh, no, no, we don't need to integrate. They can do their own thing. What was like, where did the Ford Foundation come from? What was their deal? Henry Ford. Henry Ford. Yeah. Okay. The Ford's, both guys, the car people, they were, I think until, I think until, but how

did they become like, but like Henry Ford was like a, you know, a fascist and a fanatical right winger. How did it, how did they become the, you know, the PMC liberal, touchy feely think tank? We should, by the way, I can, I can talk to you all day about that. We should do a whole episode on Ford Foundation because they are essentially like the NGOs, like the post, the post kind of 1900s NGOs have done at least as much to influence the trajectory of this country as like any one wing of government. It's been entirely massive. I mean, like, they did everything from sort of establishing, you know, things like women's studies and

African American studies departments in universities. So long as they could stack the deck with anti-communists. Deep dive into the Ford Foundation, TK. Yeah. Anyway, what, what, what he's talking about is 100% in line with liberalism. It's, it's not just like he's spinning it out of his brain, like he's speaking from a certain, you know. He can't remember what, who he's referencing, but he's definitely referencing like a party line of kind of bourgeois liberal reformers.

Finishing up the Joe Biden article, it says here, he pulled his car in front of an old friend's house and began to gingerly walk up the stairs. He rang the bell and Dennis Williams, 66, came to the door. Back in the pool days, Williams often got into fights after being made fun of because of his light complexion. They called him the Puerto Rican. Mouse, how you doing? Williams said, I'm just thinking about Joe Smith said, oh man, you remember that day Joe kicked me out of the pool? That led to the familiar swapping of old stories of pranking Joe, being disciplined by Joe, of fights and gangs and all that teenage

bravado. The guy they called corn pop grew up to be a security guard and recently died. Pritchett, who shared the lifeguard shift with Biden, became a state principal of the year. Smith became a union president and is a former head of the state NAACP. Williams became a detective, a Wilmington mayor and a state representative. Animal house, house, house, animal house, house, house. Maybe in today's climate, Biden's typical folksy anecdotes about life at the pool might not be enough to persuade voters. After the debate, Smith sent text to everyone he knew

on Biden's campaign. The candidate needed to better speak to the language on race, he told them. Please tell Joe to read The Souls of Black Folk by W.E.B. DuBois or Where Do We Go From Here by Martin Luther King said one text that Smith read to William. Do not let my friend go out there unprepared but another. Don't worry, he'll be fine, Williams asserted. It will all blow over. He and Kamala will hug it out. We have to protect him, Smith said, because that's what we do. You know, he was the best man at my wedding. Do you know he helped me with my stutter? Do you know? Do you know?

Do you see? Here I am with corn pop at the pool. Do you see me and corn pop changing? Do you see? Corn pop changed. Do you see this is that really brought me down? That really depressed me that end because it's like, I feel like Joe Biden is some like, I've never really considered this angle. Someone who is politically corrupt, but in their lives has like, pre-sonality, of course. Maybe even post-sonality has an incredible charm and affect on people. And someone has to not only see them go out there and just like, just be a complete corrupt shit as a politician, but like, as a person feels like they know their heart. And then after decades of doing that, after, yeah, three failed presidential

campaigns, it's finally supposed to be his time. And he just goes out there and everyone sees the rotten side of his heart. And everyone sees his decaying, rotting shit brain. Like, someone like Rahm Emanuel, I don't think there are any stories of people who have been charmed by him or have had like real human moments with them because no matter what. Rahm Emanuel has no friends. Joe Biden 100% has actual authentic friendships. And it's, yeah, it's just, this is sort of sad for literally everyone because I do believe there's like a part of Joe Biden's soul that's good. I really do. Like I, you can't deny like his real connection with people that he had at one time in his life. And I think

you can deny that for a lot of people. Yeah. I think that's why he's a successful politician. Like people always talk about, you know, the way he talks to people on the campaign trail and does the Bill Clinton thing of, you know, feeling their pain and things like that. Yeah. Well, it's certainly not his wit, intelligence or articulate nature. Yeah. Like he does like kind of radiate a human thing. And what I've said before is like, look, if like Joe Biden or my next door neighbor, I bet he would throw like good barbecues and

like, you know, like shovel my walk or whatever. He just shouldn't be in charge of absolutely anything. But like that, like I, that's absolutely not that sense that he'd be a good neighbor and would have a good Fourth of July party and shovel your walk. I really think for like a large chunk of the electorate, like that's what they're looking for in a politician. That's all they can hope for. Yeah. No, it's the ultimate in making you feel normal again. Isn't it?

Yeah. This person is human. This person is recognizably human to me. He's more recognizably human than Hillary Clinton. Certainly. Oh, that's true. Yeah. He's one of the most recognizably human people on that stage, which is what makes his lifetime of fucking dog shit policy is like so tragic. Honestly, his senility is humanizing.

Yeah. He's we know that he's not doing adrenochrome sacrifices to retain his youth. We know that for sure. Yeah. So that's I guess that closes out Joe Biden. Again, we'll see. We'll see how all this plays out. Would you guys like to shift topics from the election and do a little bit of a faux pot? Oh, yeah. Let's do it.

There's some things are a doing in doing their transpiring things are a doing in the faux pot world right now. And I'm speaking, of course, about the drone attack on Saudi oil infrastructure. What do they do? Well, for refinery and oil and fields, yeah, took a big chunk out of Saudi's ability to ship oil precious, beautiful oil and now this is being blamed on the Houthis and by proxy Iran. Yeah, I didn't know the Houthis had drones, but like that's fucking cool.

No, they had drones for a while. They've been doing a number of strikes. They've been attacking airports a lot with mixed results and this is they're definitely the most successful drone strike. If it's a drone strike because that's the other weird thing. It's the same thing as that attack on the oil tanker on the oil tankers is that there's no consistent story as to what even happened because like they're they seem like they're bigger than a drone strike should potentially be in terms of how much damage they caused, but also apparently there's video of guards like firing guns, which makes sense if they see a drone as opposed to a missile coming in. So nobody really knows, but the story, yeah, the story that kind of

confirms with other things that have happened in the region is Houthi drones, but nobody actually knows how big a drone to the Houthis have. So I was like to blow up an oil refinery like you would need like one of those predators that can actually fire like a missile or something. Well, from what I understand, they have reconnaissance drones that they rig with explosives. So it's all Jerry rigged. All right. So they just fly a drone into it and then it blows up. I think so. But once again, I'm not certain. Um, but yeah, I mean, this is obviously being used to beat the drums for for war, right?

Oh, yeah. Trump was going insane about oil. And, you know, again, like anything that threatens, you know, the orderly shipment of oil from Saudi Arabia to the rest of the world is like that's US foreign policy in a nutshell. Um, I mean, again, as I'm sure you'll be aware of, the backdrop to this is the now four or five years of a completely genocidal war that Saudi Arabia has been waging on Yemen, which literally is caused the largest ongoing famine in the world right now. Contra, Jack Ryan, Yemen is actually the world's worst humanitarian crisis, not Venezuela.

I don't know, man. Office Jim, he's pretty convincing. Um, yeah, but like as soon as our precious oil is threatened and like, I'm sorry, Saudi Arabia has it coming for a million fucking reasons, even if it wasn't, again, their genocidal war in Yemen. But, um, we're now treated to the spectacle of what is it, Democrat Chris Coons going on Fox News Sunday to say this is something that would necessitate military intervention if that's quote, what military intelligence decides. Oh, well, we're back to this. This is fine. I try all I know is I have no reason to distrust anything, any of them say about why or what happened. I just feel bad for poor John Bolton.

The guy spent all that time trying to get a war with a rock Ron going and it happens. If it happens and he isn't able to go and watch the bombs drop in the situation room and jack off, he's going to be so it is like Jason Street watching from the wheelchairs. They win state. Yeah. No, it's it's a bummer for him. Yeah. If we do it in like two years, all the people who are in the National Security Council are going to have to take a vote to see whether they give Bolton one of their Iran, the U. S. War runner up rings that they're having me while I have like a back going with a friend is like when all of this stuff comes out as to whether or not Trump told Bolton he was fired before he tweeted it or not because

I just feel like that's what he does now. No, he tells he does not tell. He that's the another thing about Trump is that he is a coward who has no ability to look people in the eye and actually stand in confrontation. He's the most. That's why he's the perfect online person is because in person, he's a bitch. Absolutely. He has no virtues. He doesn't even have the virtues of cruelty. He's a completely demure pussy in real life who's like never fired anyone unless it would directly, unless it was for a TV, unless it was little John or Tom Arnold. I don't know what you're talking about. What, what's more alpha than going on Twitter and saying, uh, we'll attack Iran if Saudi Arabia tells us to. That's alpha

posture. I don't know what you're saying. I mean, I've been thinking about this a lot. Say what you will about other places, but having like having your senator and having your president go directly on TV and just be like, yeah, no, I mean, once you find out everything, uh, I will set, we will send American troops to just fight for these, this inbred royal families, oil tankers. That will happen. If that's, that is what happened. We will allocate our resources to fight with this place that has less to do with your life than any hypothetical I could imagine. I know that other countries support the Saudis and do things like that, but to put it that directly, if someone put it back directly on TV, like

the French wouldn't stand for that. We really are very beaten down in this country. It just didn't sit like just saying it that straight up is insane to me when you break it down that way. And just the president going out there like that, like fucking Christ that's depressing that it could just be put that flatly and people just accept it. Back to Bolton though, Matt, was it, you told me that like the speculation that Trump actually fired Bolton because he, he thought he leaked, what was it? Yeah, it said he's the one who told everyone that he suggested nuking the hurricanes. And I bought one hundred percent by that, that that is more having to do because what's

so weird is all these people have to like the people who want to argue that Trump is some sort of closet dove. They always have to have this narrative where he's secretly at war with the people he appointed to these. Yeah, no, no, why did you hire them in the first place? Matt, did you see the latest Ben Garrison cart? Yeah, which involves he's he's like it's muscular, beautiful macho Trump, like kicking on in the ass out the door of John Bolton. And he's like, get out of here, you deep state warmonger. Yeah, he fucking appointed him in the free Pompeo is his secretary of state. And now apparently Pompeo is going to be Secretary of State and National Security

Advisor. Oh, that's cool. And he is an actual he is one of the real life like Bush era type evangelical end times guys. Yeah, like the the was it the fuck was that guy who was like we need to Jerry Boykin, Boykin, or there's another guy doesn't matter, they're all the just righteous gemstone Eli gemstone. That's that's who it is. Yeah, who thinks that we need to like go to war in the Middle East? John Hagee is John Hagee. Yeah, that's it. That's it. To bring about like, you know, the battle of apocalypse on the hill of what was it, mega deal, mega deal. Yeah. Um, yeah, it's fucking ridiculous. And yeah. And again, if you're like, if you're a Trump supporter who's against, apparently US warmongering

or you're sick of US imperialism, like, how do you square this? I guess you just like you just move on. You're like Trump's, he's kicking out the bad guys that he hired in the first place. Well, he's got to hire them so that he can confirm that they're bad. And then he fires them. Oh, it's like, it's a vetting process to find out who the white hats are. Right. Whereas Bolton's entire record in government and outside, you know, like it's irrelevant, I guess. Yeah. What the fuck? Well, that wraps it up for this week's episode. Do we have any plugs or notices? Classified Felix does missed and count casual encounters. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's a good plug. Our necronomicon call of Cthulhu

live role playing session from the Columbus Theater in Providence, Rhode Island is the video for it. The entire event is now up on YouTube. This is our sort of component speak easy origins as Virgil states this scenario is canon. So everyone who is asking how we're going to get around the slight problem that Matt and I's characters have been rendered completely insane by the last scenario that we are now like pretty much catatonic from our deep exposure to the mythos. Aha. I give you a prequel, a Capone easy prequel that is now the full the full event is up on YouTube right now. It was a very fun live show. Please check it out. Okay. Yeah. So the video is on YouTube, but the audio will we'll put that

out on as an audio episode as well. But I would highly recommend checking out the live version because there was a lot of fun. You get to see Chris play the theremin and Chris went off on the theremin. Well, no, no, he's here. We told you to do your fucking plugs. You were gone. We need your plugs. Oh, mine. Yeah. Oh, right. Right. Um, uh, look, um, I am a turlet. Uh, yeah, I was kind of shitting my doodoo ass on Thursday, September 26. Uh, at 6 30, John Boyce and I will be doing a screening and Q and A of fighting at the age of loneliness at Brooklyn College. We'll, uh, at the fire steam graduate school of cinema. Yeah. We'll, uh, put the event right in the episode description. Uh, also, uh, this week

on the 20th at the Kennedy center, uh, live podcast with you. But still with, of course, friends of the show, Jack Wagner and Brendan Wardell, but also Andy Haynes and Jamal, uh, Jamal Johnson. Uh, this may be sold out. We'll put the event right in there just to make sure. But yeah, I will be performing at the Kennedy center. I am technically a documentarian and a bestselling author. Don't you feel fucking owned pussy? Um, this isn't a plug for anything I'm doing, but just FYI, uh, former VP Joe Biden, Senator Bernie Sanders to attend the Democratic presidential labor forum in Philadelphia on Tuesday. Um, so I don't know if you, if you want to keep an eye on that, that'll be very interesting because

it's, uh, you know, it's, it's, it's Joe's turf, but he'll be surrounded by union bugs that hate him. So it should be very charming. Okay gang, uh, be good. Uh, we'll be again with you soon. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Just play it cool, boy. Just play it cool, boy, just play it cool, boy.