Chapo Trap House - 392 - Live from New Hampshire: Full Rat Mode (2/10/20)

Episode Date: February 11, 2020

Our live show from Derry, New Hampshire. Defeat the Rat, get this bread. Shout out to Matt Kowalski (https://soundcloud.com/killer_kowalski) for the Low Hopes Remix and twitter user @FilbertNuts for the Rat Mode graphic. TOUR DATES: ALL TICKETS AVAILABLE AT: www.chapotraphouse.com/tour Las Vegas, NV Feb 18, @ House of Blues San Diego, CA, Feb 23, @ The Observatory North Park Sacramento, CA Feb 28 @ Ace of Spades

It gives me no pleasure to report to you tonight that we have a rat problem. Dear New Hampshire, we have a rat problem. How are you guys feeling tonight? I think you can see that Amber is a little under the weather. Who are you? Dear New Hampshire, we have a rat problem and your beloved podcast hosts all have various health problems at the moment. We have been hitting it hard on this tour. We just spent a week in Iowa. Now we are here in New Hampshire. We are a sort of podcast and now sort of traveling plague tent. We've been hitting it hard, getting out there, spreading the

good word about Bernard Sanders. Spreading yellow fever. But unfortunately, I feel we may also be spreading the coronavirus. So, at the end of the day, I think it may be a push. But we will see how it goes. Amber just got back from her family home in Wuhan. I've confirmed with my board of medical experts that I don't have corona. I have the disease known as diarrhea too. Stronger and harsher on the stomach. Possibly contracted when I was at Barstool Blackout, New Hampshire. Reviewing my favorite bat soups with Dave Fortnoy. Would I do it again? Yes.

Special is the physically injured one. Special has been dropped like so many unloved babies. I just want to say how great it is to be in the live free or die state whose performance venues won't burn down if you have a little vape. In New Hampshire, it is wonderful to be here in the live free or die state. A state that strangely, despite its slogan, has more fucking rules than I think I've ever encountered before. We are allowed to drink on stage but only out of these red solo cups. I was just informed backstage that live free or die is actually a mistranslation of live, freeze, then die. This is like if a magic the gathering tournament rolled into a state.

That's why they love the sovereign citizen thing. It's not because you guys love getting DUIs. It's just like the most rules oriented way to be anti rules. You know what? It's the Kelvin ball state. It's like you think that there's like a lot of gameplay but actually you don't know all the secret rules and that way you get in trouble not for I don't know going 80 with a handle of vodka in your lap but you know I don't know if we're wearing a skirt that goes above the knee. All that really matters is that live free or die equals cheap liquor. Oh my god, it's so cheap. I just have to hop in on this riff to inform you all that

I was told that you're going to set off the fire alarm if you continue vaping. Okay. Alright. Okay. Namely hate fire alarm. Okay. Even though it's the only cure for diarrhea too, I guess I'll just lower my casket into the fucking ground.

Our next stop is in Las Vegas in the civilized world where you can smoke and do… I will be smoking crack on stage at the Vegas show. There are no rules. I will be introducing my new fentanyl based sports drink at the Nevada shows. Las Vegas, Nevada, a city in a state where there are absolutely no rules except doing math in your head at a table. That's the only thing that's illegal there and I certainly won't be doing that. I feel like it's illegal in Iowa too. Am I right?

Oh, we will be talking about that in just a short amount of time. But I want to say Darren New Hampshire, it is great to be here with you tonight. It is great to be back in the densely wooded glens of sainted traditional haunted New England. Thank you. It's great. Back from the… I love it. It's just Eldritch Forest.

I mean, before my, you know, look, it's just perfect. Yes, the dark Eldritch Forest of ancient New England where an evil exists even older than the United States of America itself. Whereas in Iowa where the only pervading evil is high fructose corn syrup. No, it is great to be here back from the flat blasted corn based moonscape of the fucking Iowa Midwest. Great to be back here. However, this is a harder level. We spent a week in Iowa and it's like the planes of high roll in Breath of the Wild. We learned how to build a fire, cook food for ourselves

so we don't freeze to death, fight a few minor enemies so the weapons were able to scavenge. But now we're in the dark level. There's mountains and every single surface is covered in black ice. So you guys been canvassing houses? I hope you brought your ice pick because walking up a driveway here is just about the most dangerous fucking thing I've ever done. I'm not trying to get cheap heat here, but I legitimately enjoy the black ice. I think

it's nice. I missed it. We went to the 7-Eleven earlier, not only got to walk on black ice, but also got to hop a fence. It was a very kind of Tom Sawyer trip for nasal spray. It's intense. I remember, because yeah, I grew up in Wisconsin and I've lived in New York for years now. They don't really have winter in New York. It doesn't really... Not anymore. Yeah, but walking around and having to watch your feet at every step, having to negotiate

all the... It's like, it's so intense and you feel like you're going to die. It's sort of like... I love it. The walking version of autoerotic asphyxiation. Well, okay. Because we have the... It's the ideal kind of black ice because you had the thing where there was snowfall and then it melted a little bit and then that froze. Yes.

So there's a crunch over it. So all you got to do is you do the... Stomp your way in. Yeah. You get like a little bit of a dig in there and that way you get traction and keep going. Like I said, I use the penguin system where you're walking like you're trying to keep like a turd from falling out of one of your pants. Like I said, New Hampshire, Iowa was like the training level. This is the real fucking game right now. Am I right? We passed the training level. We'll talk. There's maybe not all of our stats are recorded

in the Xbox Live. We were told that our princess was in another castle. I know that that is actually mixing video game metaphors, but I don't care. We're now here in New Hampshire. It's great to be back in a place with trees. But before we get into it, we are here in Derry, New Hampshire. And I'd like to give a quick shoutout to the other Derry and another part of the world right now that just achieved a pretty miraculous election result. Shout out to our friends in Derry, Northern Ireland, soon to be Derry Ireland.

Oh, yeah. Oh, you got to get that London right out of there. Rub that shit out. Sheen feigned just one for the first time ever, a majority of the Irish government, which is had never happened before. The entire country has been trading off the two fail parties, the Finnafail and Finnagell. Finnafail. Yeah. Sheen feign has just got a majority for the first time ever in Ireland, which is, you know, in couple with certain aspects of them as a political party, but it is a resounding

defeat of both imperialism and colonialism and also neoliberal hegemony. Well, I hate to brag it to you, but Ireland is basically San Francisco with ugly people. So the Republic is kind of, they embrace that whole neoliberalism thing pretty well. What I'm putting is unlikely things happen. Yes. Unlikely. There's still potential. There is potential out there for something to change in this hellish world that we live in. So shout out to our Irish friends and Sheen feign. So we're here in New Hampshire. It's been great so far. We haven't had quite a chance to hit

the bricks yet, but we will be doing that on Monday and Tuesday and we're going to have a big plug for where we're going to be at tomorrow. I hope you guys all come out for that. But our first big, you know, we were in Iowa interacting with the campaign, the Bernie campaign, but also some candidates. We have, we have our pokeballs and when we were in New Hampshire, we caught two poke, pick Pokemon. We caught a Tom Steyer. We got a Tom Steyer and a John Delaney. We got a wild Delaney. Honestly, the Steyers just jump at you. They jump into the ball. Tom Steyer jumped straight into the pokeball. He's like the Magikarp of candidate.

We just can't avoid him. We ended up turning him down for something, too. We really did. They were calling us on the day. We have to go canvassing for a real candidate, I'm sorry. Yeah, I know. On caucus day, we were driving to Boone to Canvass for Sanders and Tom Steyer's press person called me and they were like, so yeah, we're going to set up that thing we did. And I'm like, no, I already got the funniest fucking clip ever of me talking to Tom Steyer. So we shan't be doing that. Good day, ma'am. Well, yeah. And as Will hung up, he was like, well, you know, Tom's on Xbox if you want

to get on later. He's on Facebook if you just want to chat, like, he'll be hanging out in his hotel room. We ended John Delaney's campaign. I'm firmly convinced of it because we interviewed him. You guys might have seen the video. We interviewed him in front of his bus about getting a Peloton and what his workout regime is. And the next day, he dropped out. Now, so we made it. We went to the Delaney offices and there were two very bored young men who were very happy to talk to anybody. And they had the guys like press secretary on the phone and they're like, we can set something up. And he brought his van in, pulled it up to the headquarters just to talk to us and then drove away. And I have to know in my heart

that as they were leaving, he thought in his head, what the fuck am I doing? I just had a conversation about Pelotons with some asshole from a podcast I've never heard of. This is too much humiliation. Yeah, in the Terrence Malick John Delaney movie, like he just, there's just a zoom in on his bicep angrily flexing. All the podcast and the souls asked him about the fancy bike and it flashes back to him being yelled at as a 10 year old. Okay, during New Hampshire, I am pleased to report and share with you tonight. We have caught our third Pokemon. Yes, it is a good one. It's a good one. We have caught the wily clobachard, the wily clobachard, wild clobachard appears. And this was an actually pure kismet. This

is a random one. She appeared in the wild in front of us. Yeah. And we got it on tape. So here was Matt and I meeting the clob on that tape. Hey guys, how are you? Good to meet you. I heard the coffee's good here. Hi. My voice is very sore. I just wanted to say full disclosure, I'm here supporting another candidate. I wanted to just say thank you for absolutely bodying the Buddha judge he got debate the other night. So, well done. See you guys later. Okay, okay. Okay. I don't know if you could hear all of it. So I thanks her for bodying the rat. And then I said to him, thank you for putting that little twerp in his place. And look at her. She was laughing because she know. Look, look, Amy obviously

shouldn't be in charge of anything. But under the proper authority, she could be muscle for it. And we need we need strong people need killers. She's a killer. She's a killer. No, yeah, she is the Frank Sheeran, potentially. I could I you want to be part of this history? You want to put all the guys in Wall Street and jail? I could do that. I could do that for you. Every status. No, again, we get her to yell at the generals. She would be amazing at that. Every day I wish for an Amy Klobuchar with actual good beliefs. Every single fucking day. Yeah. Yeah, Amy did some genuinely horrible things as Minnesota Attorney General. I think kind of been County DA. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But right now, just at this moment in history,

you should 100% be rooting for her to beat the shit out of the rat. Oh, every club vote every law vote is coming out of Mayor Pete's town. Yes. And here's the other thing about club, though, is like, yeah, she when Matt said thanks for beating up that little tour, she immediately like turned away and moved away immediately because she just knew she couldn't react like on camera or whatever. But she could not suppress her grin at that. She knows what she did. It wasn't nervous laughter. It was delighted conspiratorial laughter. She was trying as hard as possible to suppress it. She's a pro. She's good at it. She's good at it. And here's the thing, though, and this is going to be sort of a theme for tonight.

If you're Amy Klobuchar, a two term senator from a major American state, why wouldn't you fucking hate Pete Buttigieg? Who the fuck is this guy? How dare you? One of my favorite club moments actually was when Bloomberg announced and like the quote from Amy was just no. My sources tell me that, you know, at the debate stage was the first time most of the other candidates met Pete Buttigieg. The two who met him and immediately came off of it thinking, fuck, that guy sucks. We're Bernie Sanders and Amy Klobuchar. Didn't she say something in the debate on Friday where she's like, you were watching cartoons when I was like in politics or something?

I do think, too, that like I have like thrown around the Tracy Flick kind of archetype to describe both Hillary and some degree Warren. But the thing is, those people are losers. This is the true Tracy. So during New Hampshire, like I said, it's going to be sort of a theme of tonight's show. Just who the fuck is Pete Buttigieg? And why is it so weird that this guy who's been the one term mayor of a fucking nowhere city in the middle of Indiana just so happened to end up in a position to, I don't know, steal the Iowa caucus, we will be getting fully into that in the second half of the show. Now we're going to go, we're going on rap patrol.

Your brains are going to get real smooth tonight. But before we get there, I think we need to, you know, update you or just sort of narrate everything that's happened. Just give you a brief recap of everything that's happened since we last broadcast to you from Iowa. So just a brief quick recap of what we all saw happen in Iowa, what we saw happen with our own eyes. And I know going into New Hampshire now, people are feeling nervous, but we were here tonight as we were right after the Iowa caucus to tell you we did prevail in Iowa. Bernie won the Iowa caucus decisively. We are not bullshitting you. We are not trolling you. We are not saying that to just hype

up confidence and support. We are telling you objectively, Bernie Sanders won the Iowa caucus decisively. And we are here tonight to tell you that we will prevail on Tuesday. They will keep trying. They will keep trying. They will, you know, like fudge numbers and try and slide shit through and clearly they gave us smallpox blankets or something. But it doesn't work. They're sloppy. They're soft. And this stuff is too transparent and we're too strong and smart for them. Yeah. This isn't creep. This isn't all the guys who would put their hands through open flames. These are guys who tried to use Pentagon computers to access a Bumble Dates house. They're

fucking losers. They're the biggest fucking losers. They don't resemble their fathers. That's what we've been telling you. So here's like the simplest explanation of like what happened in Iowa is like, okay, so the night of the caucus, the fucking app and the results go completely haywire and nobody knows fucking anything. The networks, the Iowa Democratic Party, the campaigns themselves. Nobody had any fucking idea of what was going on. Despite that, Pete Buttigieg claimed victory that night with absolutely no results to report. So either because he thought he could steal it and that it wouldn't be contested that

he thought that, well, I don't need to count. Like people will just agree with me if I just lie about knowing it or because he thought the fix was already in. One of those two things has to be true. This will be another ongoing theme for the questions that we will raise later. So Pete went on TV and claimed victory despite literally 0% of any no information available whatsoever. Then our own Virgil Texas, the night of the caucus, actually broke the night of the caucus, Virgil Texas, the night with a K. Absolutely.

I don't know if he's gotten enough. The night of the caucus, an honorable person. I don't know if he's gotten enough credit for it, but that night Virgil broke the story that the Sanders campaign was going to release their own internal data showing about 40% of what the results, the numbers that they had, which of course showed that beyond any shadow of a doubt, Bernie had won the popular vote in the Iowa caucus. All of those numbers have held up upon every further examination. Okay. The next day, they released 62% of the data they had.

The Iowa Democratic Party released the first actual results and it took them like 18 hours to push out. And they released only 62% of the results, which showed Pete with a lead in the state delegate electors. Equivalence. Equivalence. State delegate. Equivalence. The small dick energy.

The SDEs. SDE. I am so sorry. I have to say this phrase or I even know what... I'm sorry I ever explained it to people. Yeah. It is so fucking stupid and pretty much nobody understands what they are, how it works. What some people do. Some people do. The gentleman's... We would agree that this is esoteric knowledge.

This is very esoteric, arcane knowledge. So the day after, 62%, they released the results that showing Pete has the lead in the most arcane bullshit made up third category of this insane process. And then they stopped. And then they stopped. And then they stopped. No more results for you. And they stopped.

Another day goes by and the results just bleed out slowly. You don't need those other results. Bit by bit, little by little, the night we got back, I was in the cab coming back from the airport looking at the New York Times needle and they're like, oh, we got up to 90% as these results trickle in. And by the way, by the way, after the 62% result which showed Pete had by a good margin on the bullshit SDE count, which is the one that all the networks and the AP would be using to make their call.

Remember that, that was the rosiest possible 62% you could have used for Pete because every other result that came in narrowed that margin between Pete and Bernie. It started out like this and then as they started to trickle it in, here's Bernie. And then they stopped. It would be like, I don't know, imagine if in the general election, you only counted the red states first and then you waited two days before getting in New York and California. It really is almost like there was a coordinated effort to find the maximum number of votes you could count that had Pete ahead and then stop.

Out goes first. It's almost like that's what happened. Weird, right? It's weird. It seems like odd that that would happen. And the other thing I noticed about the times is they took out the column that showed the same delegates. There was this column the entire time.

It was like actual delegates that would be afforded, which even if Bernie had not won the popular vote, which he did, even if he hadn't, the margin was close enough that they had the same number. And the thing is, that's an absurd thing to even fucking care about. But they had it on the side and one day it just wasn't there. Got rid of it. Yeah. They both have 11.

So what actually, that's not, we still have to say that Buttigieg narrowly ahead. So what happened is they bled out these results that slowly reversed what Pete's lead over Bernie Sanders. They did it by drip, by drip, by drip, but slowly it became clear that Bernie actually won this. Oh shit. The thing is, the thing of it is though, it took so long for them to do this. I'm sure it's just because they're incompetent.

I'm sure it's just because they're lazy or no one knows what they're doing. Look, they had to count three numbers. Okay. It took them long enough that Pete got basically 72 hours of almost universal media coverage hailing him as the upstart, vicked winner of Iowa. Oh, they had shit written and ready to roll. Like the things like why Pete won. Yeah.

It was again, this is, I hate to let you in a little journalism secret here, but we pre-write a lot of things. Like obituaries. Oh no. I've, I've, I've had my Kiss and Jer one for years. Oh no, it is locked and fucking loaded. It's on my Pinterest vision board right now. The only news outlet that gives all, it gives you all your news fresh.

That's right. Barstool Sports. The voice of the left. Right. We all, we all see what's happening here, which was. If you wanted to write a story where there was basically open collusion and conspiracy between a political campaign, the media, the DNC, and all of the shady, weird people that wrote the app that fucked up this whole election, including the CEO of the company who guess

what has a husband who works on people who judges political camp presidential campaign. Right. If you wanted to write a movie script about someone fudging the results of an election, a close election to steal it for the preferred candidate of the billionaire class, would it look any different from what we all saw last week? That movie is going to be recount to Kevin Spacey back out of retirement. No, I, I, I just want to say this. That was, that was a good explanation of what went down and also in the past couple days.

So they said that the IDP said that they counted 100% of the precincts they've got. All of the SDEs, the suck dick counts, and that Pete came up at two and then very intelligent internet sleuths went through the data and found multiple, multiple very obvious discrepancies where they fucked up and the net of those, as I understand the sum of those will show that Bernie won the SDEs, which is again a bullshit count. It doesn't matter. He already won the fucking thing. So, but that being said, look, I've stopped talking about it because, and I, I, I, I kind

of almost wish I hadn't explained what the fuck this whole process was a little bit because I feel like for a lot of people that was helpful and it's like, okay, that caught me down for others that contributed to their sense of cynicism and disenfranchisement and their sense of anxiety. Right, right, right. And they became, they became the, you know, the, the Glenn Beckian like connecting, right, right, right. That's the thing we don't want you to do.

Right. We don't want you to go to the corkboard. Right. Leave the yarn down. The thing, the takeaway from this is that actually we won, yes, they're trying to sabotage us, but they are failing because we're winning and also they're incompetent. So a lot of people came out of that, you know, and they DM me, which is another thing we absolutely do not want you to ever do.

Everyone DM, you have a question. If you're feeling a little lonely, DM Virgil. Just a heads up, I block every fifth person who DMs me. So you're playing roulette there. Yeah, Russian roulette. Do you have me say, you know, Virgil, what's with these discrepancies, I'm really scared about it. And it's like, whoa, whoa, you should not be paying attention to any of this crap because

it mo, because one Bernie Sanders campaign has lawyers and they're going to fucking deal with this shit. There's nothing you can do about it. And whenever you say something like, well, we got to get Tom Perez out of there. It's like, okay, what's the best way to do that? Like Bernie Sanders, that's how you fucking do it. Everyone needs to focus not on what went down in Iowa, but what's going on in New Hampshire right now.

And you just need to know, look, look, look, look, look, you don't need to know any more bullshit about SDEs. The numbers are there. He's not getting screwed out of any more fucking delegates. You leave that to a small number of highly intelligent people who will keep an eye on the situation for you. He's your guardian nerd. You need to focus on New Hampshire.

And all you need to take away from this is, hey, sure looks like there are incompetent, corrupt, powerful interests who Rob Bernie or tried, tried to rob Bernie Sanders of an obvious victory that anyone who looks at the fucking vote totals can see that he fucking earned. Gosh, isn't that interesting? We got to say, that's what you need to know. Yes. Yes.

And a nerd with a K and a nerd with a K. I'm moving like this, but you really can't get caught up in that stuff. And I just don't, because the thing is, we're not Hillary people. We don't just randomly have a list of names and try and win based on a technicality. We want to overwhelm and drown them. We will not bore you with a, with a three years, winning by pedantry and technicality. We will not make you wait, we will not make you wait three years to then be bored stupid by the Virgil report coming out of what happened in Iowa.

The last thing I want to say about it though, is that the one thing that broke the New York Times needle were the satellite caucuses. I don't know if any of you guys watched or watched that intercept video about how the Sanders campaign organized these satellite caucuses. If you want to feel heartened and really know what you're taking part in, in this Bernie Sanders movement, watch that fucking video. It is incredible. None of the other campaigns organized those satellite caucuses and they all came out in

a landslide for Bernie Sanders. Yeah, that was cheating. Yeah. It's cheating to get people who can't normally vote, but have a right to vote to vote. I mean, the Sanders campaign sent organizers to like the 12 to 2 AM shift at these like meat packing plants in the most blasted desolate part of fucking Iowa and these are jobs being done by immigrant populations in Iowa. This is the last thing I'll say about it and it's, don't get bogged down into it, but

it's only important to know about who you're up against and who you're facing off against on Tuesday, the rat himself. As soon as that became those satellite caucuses, they're like, oh, Nate Cohn was like, oh damn, we forgot to count that. Oh shit. I got a snap up, but they have needle. Nate Cohn fell on his needle. He died like Mishima did.

By the way, needle dick Nate Cohn also, when they said your needle sucks, he was like, no, the needle is good. We have failed the needle. Can you imagine a more technocratic fucking idiotic statement? This is what my mom used to say about engineers when they were like, okay, I did this design and people like, well, the math doesn't work and they're like, well, the math must be wrong. Like they literally will disagree with reality to try and make their plan fucking work. The needle is shit.

Don't rely on something that could do that. All praise to the needle. Do not listen to these foul liars. We must worship the needle. The needle and the damage done in the New York times. But this is the last thing I'll say about this shit. As soon as that happened, guess whose political campaign started whining and complaining again just like they did about the Des Moines Register poll that was spiked and just like they're

going to do now when you guys win on Tuesday. They started complaining to the Iowa Democratic Party and trying to get the Iowa Democratic Party to change their own admittedly idiotic and fucking nonsensical rules about how delegates are allotted based on caucuses to cancel the results of the satellite caucuses or make them redoubt or make the results count less. What they are literally trying to do is disenfranchise the racial and religious minorities of Iowa to drag their fucking cheating asses across the finish line. That's who you're going to beat on Tuesday.

Keep that fucking knowledge close to your heart. Keep that hate in your mind and heart. Hone it into a razor and use it to win on Tuesday. Remember what we told you before Iowa. There's going to be a litany of annoying things and they're not designed to necessarily terrify you. They're designed to make you beaten down and feel cynical and exhaust you. And the third thing, make you seem insane.

Make you, you've probably seen it happen with people you know, people who are still posting about the Phantom Throne chairs in Nevada. They want you to turn into that but you haven't and that fucking terrifies them. Don't get bogged down. I am the fucking prize. They're terrified. They're fucking terrified. The thing I can't get over is that you guys, we were there.

You cannot overestimate the degree to which Iowa Democrats fetishize their stupid fucking caucus. It's the only reason anyone talks to them. If the Iowa caucus didn't exist, they would be Nebraska and no one would ever. The Iowa caucus is literally why we have fucking ethanol subsidies. And ethanol, I don't know if you're aware of this, is bullshit. And then it costs more goddamn gasoline to make a fucking gallon of ethanol than you get from the fucking ethanol.

And the only reason we have that is because of these assholes and their stupid caucus and they killed it. They blew it up to stop Bernie. There will never be another Iowa caucus. There will never be another fucking year of stories of a bunch of assholes sitting in gym locker rooms, sitting in who can jam as many corncob's up their ass as possible to fucking get the goddamn nomination. They killed their baby.

They shot old Yeller just to stop Bernie. That means that they are terrified. They would rather salt their own fields than let him take them. And by the way, it's a really fun contrast going from Iowa to New Hampshire and this weird two-step, you guys are the first two states, but you make such a fun contrast. And I really love you New Hampshire guys. Everyone in Iowa, everyone pretends that they're undecided all the time if you're canvassing because they all just love to be courted.

You knock on the door. Hey, can I ask who you're supporting? I don't know. You tell me. Yeah, they just, they love being buttered up because they love democracy so much. New Hampshire, you guys are flinty, New England types. You knock on the door here, you're like, can I ask who you're supporting for president? Sir, you are violating my property rights right now.

You are not a disobeying admiralty law. If you do not exit the premises, you will be shot. None of that Iowa nice bullshits. Oh no, fuck that. Not Iowa nice. Yeah. New Hampshire cold and hard. And dedicated to whatever insane political belief most of the people here have.

Your 800 member house representatives, how many members of the state house do we have in the room right now? How many of you, by the way, have been phone banking? You got some phone bankers? Yes. So have any of you like phone banked for New Hampshire? Yes. So it's very fun in contrast with other states because if you have like a, you know, let's

say you call, let's say you call somewhere in the south and you get like a 900 year old woman who's like, oh yeah, I like Bernie Sanders. And you're like, oh, it's so nice to talk to you like ancient lady with a landline. You end up on a, on a New Hampshire call. You get sometimes, how did you get this number? Like you're a registered voter. You're not in the witness protection room. Calm the fuck down.

They've been hacked, they've hacked my information. You're going to have to retreat to a secondary location. I love New Hampshire. I love to retreat to a secondary. That's kind of nice with that. You really went up to me with bad puns for the night. I love New Hampshire because it's like the American Lebanon. Felix, that's off the ante now.

He got it, he got it, son. You have 35,000 factions in a state of a hundred people. It's not like Minnesota or like New York where it's like, oh, there's the normal Democrats and like the working family. It's like, oh yeah, you know, I used to be part of the Alamone Liberation Front. Now I caucus with the coalition against Best Buy, but I heard some really exciting things from the let me charge my phone party. I'm not breaking any laws party.

But of course Felix likes this because Felix respects like, you know, the old joke like the Jew on the island that built two synagogues, one that he goes to and one that he does not go to. I tell you what it really hit me that we were in New Hampshire. It was when we were at the grocery store and I saw the coin star machine and you could buy Bitcoin at it. Dairy New Hampshire, are you guys ready to go full rat mode? It's rat patrol time.

We are on rat patrol right now, Dairy. But to get you in the mind, to get you in the mindset, to prepare for the great rat hunt. We have a song prepared for you that we'd like you to listen to now that will put you in the mindset. I apologize early. We are going to get dark. I hope you are ready in your souls to stare into the abyss. I have not heard this song yet.

All right. Let's hear it. All right. He is dancing, dancing, he says that he will never die. What the fuck was that? That song was directed by Ari Aster by the way. That was more demonic than like to fucking anything. Shout out to Mike Kowalski for doing the remix on that one.

Mike Kowalski, cousin of Molly O'Brien. Let's give a shout out to Molly O'Brien tonight everybody. Honestly it's generally very unholy when the Irish interact with the Polish but it's fine. New England specific reference, I never thought I'd hear something more disturbing than Giles Corey. More bone shaking. That's in the canon now, amazing work you Polish warrior. Okay, I hope you guys have been chilled to your core by the chopped and screwed version

of High Hopes because guess what we are going to chop and screw all of his lifetime hopes on Tuesday. Ready for that guys? Are you ready for that? But first, first we must stare into the abyss, we must stare into the abyss and the first thing I'd like to talk about is, okay so we all watch the debate on just the other night and it really crystallized to me, it's hard to articulate but when you see Pete Buttigieg talk, when you see him give a campaign speech, a stump speech, when you see him answer

questions at the debate, I am just totally overcome inside with this one question. What the fuck are you talking about? Seriously though, seriously though, any time you see a campaign ad, a media hit, just a stump speech from this motherfucker, ask yourself, if you're a voter or if you're any normal human being, what is he offering you? What is he actually saying to you? What is he saying that he's going to do on your behalf? What is he saying he represents?

What is his decision? What is he offering you? No, not just nothing, also bad stuff. Well what he's offering you, it doesn't matter what he's offering you, terrible food and the portions are small. He's not offering you anything but it isn't really what he's offering you, it's how he's offering it to you, he's offering you beautiful sounding gibberish but most importantly in a fake deep Elizabeth Holmes accent.

We watched the debate on Friday and I got it because whenever we'd watched the previous debate, we would always just ignore Mayor Pete because it just sounded like fucking peanuts teacher talking. Because this is the first debate where he was one of like the guys, you know, he is the guy who won Iowa, so he won second. And it was the first time I realized when he was talking, holy shit, this motherfucker is making his voice deeper to sound more serious. Or to sound more like Obama.

Every time, every time. I would never do such a thing. Every time. Don't listen to me on podcasts where I speak to girls and I'm like, oh my god, you're right. No, he's deliberately making his voice lower to sound like Obama. He's doing vocal blackface. Yes, he is doing Elizabeth Holmes shit, he's doing Elizabeth Holmes shit.

Because they cut to him and they say Mayor Pete, what do you think? They cut to him and it's this Howdy Doody looking motherfucker. This like little scrub to school boy who should be wearing short pants and they say, what do you think about this? He goes, I think the problems of America are the problems of the country. It's like if Milhouse did a whip it. Yeah. It's like, motherfucker, you're faking that.

You're trying to sound like Mayor Pete. Mayor Pete, Mayor Pete, Joe Biden says you don't have enough experience to be president. How do you respond? Joe Biden? Isn't he a great big old person? Some of you got that one. Shout out to God. By the way, shout out to God Ted Levine, Burnie Bro.

How we did it to the campaign, to God Ted Levine. It puts the SDEs in the basket. Yes. Or else it gets the hose. Also I didn't mention this. I didn't mention this in the first half, but there was a photo today of Paul Giamatti at a Bernie Sanders event right here in New Hampshire. Friends, friends, friends, brothers and sisters, I will qualify this by saying he was also

at an Andrew Yang event. And the Britishesh event. And he was sort of a political tourist. In my heart of hearts though, I know inside that Giamatti is a Bernie Bro. He is. And I truly feel that like our whole show is just coming full circle. Giamatti is on our side, friends, brothers and sisters, truly the best among us are all together.

By the way, I once sat one row away from Giamatti at a double feature at BAM. It was the Manchurian candidate. Interesting. We'll be talking about that in a second. And all the president's men. Speaking of the Manchurian candidate, Pete Buttigiegessers asked, you know, if you were showing the intelligence that Trump did about Kasim Suleymani, would you have ordered that hit?

And he said, I would never consider military action until I've looked at all the evidence and then someone shows me the Queen of Diamonds. A few people got that one. It'll become more clear to you. It'll become more clear to you as this second half of the show goes on. But so we're just trying to discern, what the fuck are you saying, dude? Every fucking answer. It's just this vague, totally vague, chipperish, it's just what we would refer to as platitudinous.

He's doing an impression of Obama that's even more vacuous than when Obama did it to great success. So of course we know it's number two, number two, but here's the thing, I'm not stopping this fucking car, okay? Here's the thing though, the Obama thing, and I wrote about this in the It's Bernie Bitch thing, Obama was the last of the horoscope candidate where you give someone a horoscope and you're like, you're very creative and things are going to happen to you and you're like, oh my God, that's so me.

Like he formed a campaign around the most vague kind of cold reads that like a, you know, Dime Store Psychic uses and everyone was so traumatized by Bush too that they were like, yeah, fine, whatever, literally, and anytime people are like, oh Obama was a charming, I'm like, well, okay, but he had a little bit of help from his predecessor. You can't do that a second time without people being like, you're not saying anything. And here's the thing, and this has been confirmed over and over again, Matt Christen everybody. Did you flush? The chamber is empty and we're all ready to go.

Here's the thing though, and this goes to my point about watching him and just like my brain like falling out of my ears. What the fuck are you talking about? This has been confirmed over and over again by every conversation I've had with many, many of the volunteers and canvassers both here in New Hampshire and Iowa. And they say when you encounter Pete Buttigieg supporters or people and you ask them, well like, what do you like about Pete? Why are you supporting Pete?

They never, not a single one of them will ever say anything about a policy, an idea, or a problem that they're facing in their life. They all say the same thing. He gives me a certain feeling. He makes me feel the way Obama did. He's so smart. He's just so smart. You know what that is?

It's fluoride. The more fluoride you've ingested, the more Pete Buttigieg speaks to you. No, fluoride is good. Fuck off. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone should have fluoride in their fucking water.

It's the reason all our teeth aren't falling out of our fucking head. But so if you've been following this show, you will remember the amazing way Felix has channeled Joseph Robinette Biden, right? Now that Joseph Robinette Biden is completely done, he just said today to a woman who asked him why he lost the Iowa caucus, you know about the caucus? Yeah? No, you're a lion dog based pony soldier. And you know, he wasn't insulting her.

He was like, he was being cheeky and it was quoting a John Wayne movie, the famous John Wayne film that we're all aware of, lying dog face pony soldier starring John Wayne and Henry Fonda. Yeah. He was, he was talking to like a 30 year old woman and was like, Hey, remember this movie that came out before desegregation? That's called the Biden classic. So we have imbibed so much Biden.

And here's the thing though, we're beginning to imbibe Pete and he has a like Pete isms as well. He has a way of talking that we've been like, you know, allowing into our souls, which is very dangerous. It is not as funny as the Joe Biden, but it is specific. So for your edification, can we have some Pete isms? Can we have some examples of the things Pete talks about? All right.

Like how he sounds or like his the way his way of talking without talking or saying anything. There are two types of Pete isms. There is one that's like almost like a joke if an AI told a joke. And that is when Pete says things like the community that I'm from, we care less about the NASDAQ and more about building a coat rack. It will be something like something resembling like gets worse where I'm from, we care less about the school's Montessori and more about raising our son Corey. And that's like that's like so almost like the least evil type of Pete ism because it's

like the robot wants to be part of humanity kind of and there's like a spiritual yearning and you wish you could update to know the human to love the human. You wish you could update his Nvidia settings to get that done and we wouldn't have to go through this whole thing. It's sad because you know, he kind of feels pain. Oh, yeah, he definitely does. There's pain in that little Arthur fist he makes, there's pain, but the second type of Pete thing I think is like the most evil because it's the spell he casts over people.

It's like his his magic and that's when he he starts with something and then ends with the opposite. Oh, yeah. Oh, it'll be something like a nation that fails to use division is a nation that divides into failures and it's truly sickening awful. And it gives you the illness known as diarrhea too. My main problem with him is, sir, how dare you plagiarize an American poet like Bob Seeger with your fucking turn the page bullshit.

You didn't think of that. You didn't build that, sir, the silver bullet band built that out of Detroit, mother fucking city. Yeah. A true midwesterner, Bob Seeger. Absolutely. Well, but that's also like Pete's thing too, is that he doesn't have any particular personal appeal.

So he does kind of a weird plagiarism, but it's like the strange sort of like off brand version of whatever is the off brand Obama is the off brand Bob Seeger. Yeah. He has no individual identity. He mainly prays on people's intellectual and political insecurity, which as socialists, I think if you're in this room, you're a little pink, if not red. What we do is not make people insecure. That's liberal bullshit.

That's technocrat bullshit. That's like, well, you don't understand the caucuses. We're like, no one understands the caucuses. They're fucking stupid. They're dumb and they're intentionally obfuscational, but their Pete's thing is very much praying on people's insecurities. And what we want to do is embolden people and be like, actually, your instincts about this are probably right.

Yes. Yes. You don't need, you don't need this mouth, this fucking Chuck E. Cheese animatronic to lead you through politics. Okay, I'm sorry, but Cory Booker is actually the animatronic. Yeah. He is the animatronic. He's like a Furby.

He is the... Cory Booker is the Chuck E. Cheese where they drop water on him and he starts, sparks start shooting out of his head. Mayor Pete is the drummer who is keeping the beat like that. Oh, yeah, no, to what Amber said and what Matt said about him ripping off Bob Seeger, his only night moves are discarding dog carcasses, just like Frank Sheeran of the Irishman dropping him off bridges, just a montage of him dropping wrapped packages into rivers in swing states. So we talked about this backstage, Felix.

If you want to have a Pete Buttigieg off, I'm game. Let's roll. That's fine. Are you guys ready for this? He's down. Your soul... Your soul will be... You got five seconds to place best.

I want to be honest. I'm going for Virgil. Your souls will be placed at hazard, but let's do this. Felix is consistent. Virgil does the Hail Marys. All right. Who wants to go first? Uh, Felix.

Let's do a coin toss. Oh. Oh. Oh. All right. All right. All right. If Virgil wants me to go first, I'll go first.

In the communities that I represent, people don't care so much about stock options as about chicken soup stock options. Oh. Oh. All right. Pretty bad. Pretty bad. Pretty dog shit.

All right. Here we go. President Trump says that facts don't matter. Well, I believe in the passion of our dreams as a matter of fact. Whoa. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Felix. Felix, I would love it if you showed me up. Okay. Okay. Oh. All right.

We're fucking rolling actually. Okay. A president that uses the office for personal gain is the president who leads to the loss of a nation. Oh. Okay. I got some, this will lose yourself shit right here. I hope you guys liked that song earlier.

All right. Virgil Spitt. When we stop being divided, the sum of our values will add to the quotient of our imagination. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. My stomach. Oh. I have, I have resisted whatever disease you've had for two weeks and I just felt

my white belt blood cells sputating us. Well, get ready to vomit. Oh God, no. When the weight of our conscience is heavier than the weight of our divisions, that is when truth elides the path of our liberty. Terrible. Really bad. I really feel ill right now.

I don't know if I can handle this. You can do this. You can fucking do this. Oh God. HG can do this. You know, some people say blue lives matter. Oh no. Oh no.

Oh no. No. No. This is a Hail Mary. This is the Hail Mary I told you about. Some people say all lives matter. Oh boy. Here it comes.

Here it comes to our dreams, all ambitions matter. Felix, I'm sorry. I have, I have one more. I have one more. I have one more too. I have one more too. One more final exchange. All right.

Here we go. This is warning. This is pure dog shit. We can find ourselves arguing about rideshare, but I hope we can all find ourselves agreeing about childcare. Oh fuck. Oh shit. Fuck you.

Oh shit. Fuck you. All right, Virgil, Virgil. Fuck you. Yo, you better come strong with this last one. Okay, all right, all right, all right. You know, Joe Biden says that small towns don't matter. Well I believe that the smallest towns have the biggest heart and the biggest cities have

the smallest cocks. There we go. There we go. Wow. Are you okay? I'm fine. Who ever wins, we all lose. You've all got coronavirus now, congratulations.

Okay. Okay. We are on the path. That was brutal. It's a darkness right now. We're on the shining path now. I wish. Oh, I mean, while they shared an enthusiasm with Pete, they were also, they were also

mayors of small towns. That's the thing. Okay, to that end, a mayor of a small town, a mayor of a city of, I don't know, the fourth largest city in Indiana, a state that is in the bottom half quartile of population. So right, one term, the most votes he's ever gotten up until Iowa is probably 8,000 people in a municipal election in a college town in Indiana. Not even the big college. Yes.

Not even the big one. Bloomington. Bloomington's the big one. Yeah. Bloomington, Indiana, tree city. So. Got any Hoosiers? Oh, we got some Hoosiers.

Hoosiers! Oh, God. So we're mean and dumb, yeah. Just a small town mayor, living in a rodent lair. That's okay. That's good. But that's actually a bad Detroit. You really would have done, I was born in a small town if you really wanted to be accurate.

Let's pull out of this for a second. So back to what it was all about. Mayor of a college town in Indiana, all of a sudden, he's a national figure. Where did this guy come from? Why is he in the position now of being like, you know, neck and neck with the most popular politician in the country who's leading a mass movement led by the democratic hopes and dreams of not just the young generation, but every decent person in this country who wants a better future.

We got it. How did it get here? How did it get here? How did all that shit that we saw in Iowa happen? So here's where I'm going with this, guys. And we're going down this rat hole right now. Oh, yeah. Here's the thing.

If you've listened to our show, if you're a fan of the show, you know that we've talked about, how should we say, stories, news events, some might say conspiracy theories on the show. History. History. Right? We've talked about Matt has done a solo episode on Operation Gladio. We did it.

I did stuff on the, I did an article about the infiltration of various left groups. Coantelpro. Yes, by Coantelpro, which was, by the way, based on just released FBI documents that they have publicly acknowledged are true. We did an interview with the journalist Tom O'Neill about the connection between Charles Manson and the CIA's MK Ultra program. And of course, we have talked extensively about the Jeffrey Epstein case. Now what, what do all of these stories, what do all of the, shout out to Truinon, yeah.

Now what do all of these stories, Truinon live in New York March, by the way. By the way, by the way, spread the word now as well. We're closing out the store in San Francisco. Special guests, Brace and Liz from Truinon. I'm announcing that now, so we've talked about these stories, right? What do they all have in common? They all have the, you know, the veneer of what some might call conspiracy theory. But on some level, they're only based on nothing that requires any huge leap of faith

on your part or incredible evidence that, you know, we need to tell you or holding back from you. These are stories that are assembled based on basic matters of public records. When you add them up, or just like, think about it this way, in each one of them, you add them up and the official story is simply incredible. It doesn't make any sense. Whether it's Jeffrey Epstein, Manson, Gladio, think Epstein though, right? So when you begin to assemble these facts or like go down these various rabbit holes or

look at the bigger picture, you will never, ever get, and this is what Tom O'Neill said to us that's very important. You will never, ever, ever get to a point of capital T journalistic truth that can be published in the New York Times or ever achieve a level of closure, satisfaction or justice that these things shout out for. It will never happen. But if you begin to look at everything together, they all take on a similar shape. So keeping that in mind, we would like now to share with you another story.

We would like to paint a picture for you now, again, based solely on matters of public record, media accounts, and things that we all know. We are going to assemble these facts for you to tell you another story. You can believe it is a story, a conspiracy theory, 100% true and accurate, or somewhere in between all of them. But there is a story we'd like to tell you tonight that rhymes with all of these other things that we've talked about on the show. And that is the career and now emergence on a national, global, political stage of former

South Bend, Indiana mayor, Pete Buttigieg. You guys ready for this? Okay. So this is... That is going to go off now. Matt, okay, you guys, we're going to let Matt open up the throttle now, ladies and gentlemen. Just so everyone knows, I sacrificed my sanity long ago on the altar of truth seeking. And this is just part of that journey.

But I just remind myself that all things serve the beam and it makes it okay. And by the way, very, very quickly, anyone out there who's a reporter for New York magazine, Politico, The New Yorker, The New York Times, The Washington Post, anything like that, this is off the record, okay? Okay. So I have a hidden camera. Could you please leave? All right.

So I first became aware of Peter Paul Montcumbery Buttigieg in 20, I would say 2017. And that was during the race to replace whoever the fuck it was, Debbie Washington Schultz as DNC chair. And famously Bernie put forward his, you know, ally Keith Ellison as DNC chair and it looked like he was just going to get it and it was going to be sort of like, it was going to be the consolation prize that the Hillary campaign gave to Bernie. All right, fine. You're good.

But Barack Obama said, no, I'm not giving control of this party up. And so he got Tom Perez, the living, the skeleton man, the living version of the tripkeeper to be his guy, but he wasn't the only one. Pete Buttigieg also ran for DSC chairman. And I remember that's the first time I encountered his name and I saw him in the list and I thought first five was like, what is that last name? And then I looked into it and I thought was, who the fuck do you think you are? You're the mayor of South Bend and you're trying to be the chairman of the Democratic

National Committee. That is an insane overreach. He was defeated handling Indiana and hugely a punch above my weight and even I'm like, okay, calm down. So but that name has gone for a while. And then he says, I'm running for president. And I thought, okay, this guy has some sort of disease that he doesn't, he doesn't realize what he is.

Yeah. The haunted virus. Yes. And then I watched as, cause he came on the scene, Hey, I'm the gay mayor of South Bend and I'm just going to say Obama. Former Troop. Former Troop. Yeah.

I'm going to say Obama bullshit. But the thing is there were a ton of people who were running in 2020 as I'm just going to say Obama bullshit. Beto O'Rourke coming off of the highest profile Senate race of 2018 midterms where he almost beat Cruz, became the darling national attrition, the entire American over at Vanity Fair. Any legalist guy who was going to break the GOP stranglehold on Texas. And then you had Corey Booker. A guy.

Long time Senator. A long time Senator, a guy who has the same vocal cadence as Obama, a guy who has the same messages of Obama, a bunch of these guys all went for the Obama lane. All of them flamed out spectacularly and the guy who was left to not only hold that lane, but to become the establishment choice to stop Sanders at the very end is the fucking mayor of South Bend, Indiana. Not only that, but why very early on in his campaign, again, former mayor of South Bend, Indiana, a city of 100,000 people, very early on in his campaign, why was this guy instead

of Joe Biden, former vice president, Beto O'Rourke, Kamala Harris, Corey Booker, Christian Gillibrand, go down the fucking list, very early on in the campaign, why did 40 of the world's most well billionaires, why did they give him all this money? Why was he having huge, huge ticket fundraisers as this nobody? This is before he became the last option. This is back when there were like 25 people in the field. But then you start to look at his career. You look at his CV, the one that he's so proud of, and every single element of it makes you

raise your fucking eyebrow until it falls off of the top of your fucking head, starting with the fact that he loves, I'm a Rhodes Scholar, Harvard graduate, oh, I'm so very, very smart. My dad translated Gramsci, oh, I'm a genius. So his first gig after college was with McKinsey Associates, which we've talked about. We've talked about how they are a global fixer for every disgusting company that wants to excuse layoffs. He was involved as Benjamin Appelbaum pointed out, you worked for a company that was fixing

bread prices. Again, to be fair, like, you know, how did overpriced bread ever end up poorly for a bourgeois class? Yeah. Yeah. You will love it. It would be a big deal. You didn't think it would be a big deal.

So McKinsey fixing bread prices. But not only that, while he was with McKinsey, he spent a time in Iraq when McKinsey was being subcontracted to help build the post-war government there. And while he did that, he took a vacation to Somaliland, which is not a country. Somaliland is a breakaway region of Somalia, which has its own local government because Somalia, it hasn't had like a functioning government for 30 years. Part of it broke away and has like a coherent government. At the exact same time that the U.S. government was making inroads to attempt to establish

military bases there with the connivance of the local leadership, Pete Buttigieg and his friend from Harvard, his friend from Harvard, a guy whose name is, oh, good Lord, Nathaniel Myers is his name, a guy who works for USAID, the USAID International Development Organization, which has been, for 40 years, a known CIA front. His current job, according to LinkedIn, is senior transition advisor, referring to the governments that we overthrow. Not kidding. As in, they send guys like him in to like a staff, the new governments after we've

new created. So this guy and Pete went to Somaliland and they published a New York Times op-ed about the need for Somaliland to become an independent country, literally doing like PR on behalf of this organization, this government, so that they could make some sort of sweetheart deal with the government. Then he joins the, but at the same time, all of this is going on, U.S. operations in the Horn of Africa are going up, up, up, up, yeah. Our base in Djibouti there is one of the most important nodes for counterinsurgency in the

Middle East completely. Whatever they do, lists of how many places of the U.S. bombing, the one thing that like no one can ever get out of the weird North African country. Yeah, yeah. No, Somaliland big time and it's all coming from the base in Djibouti, very near Somaliland. So the U.S. was in the process of trying to make relations with these local leaders. And this motherfucker had his friend from USAID write an op-ed that gets published in the New York Times to talk about how the Somaliland is going to be a new front for democracy and

we need to support it. Then he joins naval intelligence and goes to Afghanistan, the Navy famously necessary to get intelligence in landlocked Afghanistan. He's really good at mountains, actually, where he has admitted in his own books that he spent time in CIA safe houses, a guy who has a glowing portraits of this guy. Talk about how in his study, he has maps of the mineral resources of Afghanistan in his fucking house. He's a cartography guy.

He's a cartography buff loves maps. He's a goddamn map nerd. So this is a guy whose entire career before he becomes mayor is pure intelligence. Absolutely. There is not a single thing he did with either McKinsey or with the military that does not indicate that he was doing at the very least like high-end grifting McKinley shit or at the worst like Project Phoenix like targeted assassinations. LGBTQ CIA.

That's not my joke that someone else's joke, but you know, and then he becomes mayor of South Bend where he becomes the most media savvy, most media connected guy in this piss ant town of a hundred thousand people where his job is basically just to ethnically cleanse the black people out of the neighborhood so they can be gentrified. By the way, someone reminded me of this like about a year ago, he put a judge screwed out. I think it was another New York Times article about using counterinsurgency techniques on restive urban population. His comment was interesting article.

That was in 2012. Well, to be fair, South Bend is not an urban population. I just want to say this really quick and maybe you've seen this too, but it says that, you know, the Peter Bernie meme, right, it's like quotes from, you know, as they were both small town mayors, right? Yes. Bernie of Burlington, Vermont in the 1980s and Peter of South Bend and they both had different, there were some differences in their housing policy, so to speak, and here's

a quote from an article about a Pete's housing policy, Buddha judge has sold a park to private developers and giving tax breaks to luxury condos less than a mile west of less than a mile west of South Bend's booming downtown. It's African American Latino residents continue to complain of police harassment, rampant evictions and team of code enforcement inspectors who find them every time they forget to mow their own lawns. And this is a guy who came into office with a specific policy of, hey, if your house sucks, we're going to fucking tear it down and turn it into one of those fucking like fake bistros

called like a fork in Ukraine, you know, you know what I mean, like a fucking like a place in an airport. Bites with a Y. Yes. Yes. Exactly. Anyplace just called plus sold. Anyway, but, you know, I'm sorry, I got to read because I just love this so much.

Here's a quote from a similar article about Mayor Bernie Sanders, he often butted heads with local developers who were over eager, over eager to convert subsidized housing to luxury condos. This is the 1980s, by the way, quote, quote, quote, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, quote, over my dead body. Are you going to displace 366 working families? He's so good, he's so good, and the way you need to think about Mayor Pete again is like, I don't know if anyone here has ever lived in a college town, not as a student.

Okay, well, it's garbage. It's fucking garbage. Basically you just get abused by grad students while serving them drinks. That's the Mayor Pete thing. His job was serving the tourists that came in through fucking Notre Dame who would be gone in four years to whatever, open up speedboat dealerships or whatever, and just fucking the people that actually lived there. Yes, and the most clear cut moment of the debate was when the moderator actually nailed

him to the fucking wall about his record of how the arrests for marijuana use among black youths while he was mayor spiked through the fucking roof, and he didn't answer the question, he dodged it entirely, but what little attempt he made to try to justify it was he said, we wanted to tie drug arrests to gun and organized crime and gangs. Okay, okay, to be fair, growing up as a Hoosier, we all lived in constant fear of the South Bend Mids gangs. It was extremely dangerous because of all of that dishweed around Notre fucking Dame. That's what the Crips and Bloods War was about, was who gets the drug market of South

Bend. Yo, yo, yo, my cousin, he got his wisdom teeth out, he's got a six Vicodin left over, dangerous shit. That guy's the El Chapo of South Bend. I want to make clear, though, that his justification for prosecuting a brutal drug war of, let's say, surveillance, you know, incarceration, and, you know, oppression. Again, by the way, the students of Notre Dame in South Bend had no problem. Touchdown, Jesus.

No problem. He was not going to fucking jail for getting caught. These people are not being policed, that's the fucking town gown relations. The extent that he tried to answer that question at the debate last night, the justification that he gave for it, is identical to the one that Mayor Michael Bloomberg gave for his stop and frisk program in New York City for years and years and years as his three-term fucking tyranny of the city I fucking grew up with. So Mayor Pete spends two terms as Mayor of South Bend just doing ethnic cleansing on

behalf of developers and also trying to get out of fucking Indiana because he has no chance of getting a statewide race. He ate shit running for state treasurer, couldn't fucking win that race. I mean, I believe he was running against just like a fucking, just like a barrel with a smile on it, and he's still lost. We do have a lot of them. But anyway, so then he gets to run, and as I said, he's running against one of the biggest fields they've ever had, governors, senators, every half of them just trying to run the

Obama playbook, all of them fall away and he's the last one left, and he is the one that the media is willing to go to bat for and lie on behalf of after he stole Iowa, and give him, but they gave him 72 hours of pure he won Iowa propaganda coverage, and you're like, why the fuck would you do this to this fucking pissant? And if you guys want to really destroy your brains, look up something called Operation Mockingbird, which is a CIA operation that was uncovered by the church committee in the 70s, whereby the CIA was subordinating through blackmail and bribery, the acquiescence of foreign and domestic journalists to literally parrot what they wanted to be said.

And they said after they got caught, we're not going to do it anymore. But man, if you believe that, I got a fucking bridge to sell you in Brooklyn. Would you like to, would you like to just, just to close out, would you like to share who one of Pete Buttigieg's biggest campaign contributors is? So if you guys are aware of a guy named... Okay, look, I got the name wrong when I was filling out the act blue form. You know, some of his policies are okay. Okay, so if you guys are aware of a guy that Jeffrey Epstein, right?

Okay, we're all know all the billionaire scumbags who were on his jet, were friends with him, etc. One of the big ones was a guy named Glenn Dugan. He is married to a former Miss Sweden who is Jeffrey Epstein's former girlfriend from the 90s before she aged out of his preferences. And they not only are friends with Epstein, after Epstein got out of his fake imprisonment, his fake year of, you know, service in Florida and tried to come to New York, he wanted to get his sex offender registry expunged.

And his wife, Glenn Dugan's wife, wrote a letter to the DA saying, I, Jeffrey Epstein is an upstanding man. I would let him alone with my teenage children. I love him. He's fine. They literally said that to try to get him. And by the way, apparently, according to a number of sources, there was an effort shortly before he ended up getting in trouble and going to jail for he was going to marry their

daughter so that he could start reproducing and creating those monstrous Epstein clones that he was thinking about. That guy, Glenn Dugan, maxed out donor to Mayor Pete. And you guys are aware, of course, of the Shadow app, right? The one that fucked up Iowa on purpose. The main funder of that app is LinkedIn and Netflix honcho Reed Hoffman, if you know who that is. Reed Hoffman was essentially the guy who laundered Jeffrey Epstein's donations to the

MIT media center. He's literally his bag man, and he has his fingerprints all over the fucking Iowa caucuses. There could he, fucking Mayor Pete is at the nexus of every black ops CIA fucking thing in the last 30 fucking years. Yes. Is your, okay. Is bladder is full of conspiracies. Okay.

Here's what I want to say. So like, that's, that's a narrative that you can create. Again, requires no leap of faith on your part. All of these things are part of the matters of public record. And I remember early on on the show when we were making fun of Pete by calling him Agent Pete or saying he's a CIA op, and of course I was half kidding then. Am I half kidding now? I will leave it to you, the audience, to judge for yourself.

So I was joking about it online and some like, I don't know, like fucking globe emoji shit head replied to me and being like, oh yeah, yeah, real, real good idea by the CIA to just, you know, have a mayor of South Bend run for presidency out of nowhere, right? Good investment on their part. And at the time in my head, I was like, you know what, there's a logic to that. Yeah. Kind of seems like, like a long shot, right? After everything you've just heard, doesn't it actually kind of make sense?

Yeah. That is fucking weird, right? Because if you're a senator or governor, you have power in your own right. Yes. You would not be a cat's paw. Exactly. Because that's the thing with Epstein. The reason they picked Epstein is because he had no independent power.

He was just some asshole from Coney Island. He's just some asshole from fucking South Bend. They could run his shit. And by the way, while I was taking that leak, somebody who's some king or queen in the audience added me to tell me, thank you, I didn't know this, that another maxed out donor for Pete Buttigieg is David fucking Geffen. If any of you are aware of the Brian Singer West Coast Epstein shit, you know what that means.

Okay. Okay. Fine. Okay. Okay. Fine. So we've given you one version of, one sort of lens, one heuristic through which to look at, you know, the reality or facts that surround us.

But there is another way as well. And we want to pull you back from like, we don't want to tell you this to drive you insane because as Tom O'Neill told us about this, you know, like what would you do if you were like looking into the Epstein case? And Tom O'Neill says, I wouldn't unless I was getting paid to. So unless you're getting paid, you should not, it's titillating, it's exciting, but it is also a distraction. So here's another way of looking at these same facts and reality.

Okay. Let's say you're like me and you believe that yarn is for knitting sweaters. You don't want to connect a bunch of things on a cork board. And when the Epstein shit happened and everyone was freaking out around you, including your beloved podcast co-host, normal, totally being normal, screaming about how the world is run by billionaire pedophiles and you were like, yeah, obviously, and it doesn't really matter because fundamentally, your job is not to necessarily bring everyone in on the conspiracy that you thoughtfully have considered and maybe have developed an instinct about because

we don't need the conspiracy because he's bad enough on his own. And that's the thing that you absolutely need to remember because it is actually really important that we don't look crazy. It's really important that we don't look crazy. And for me, this shit, I think it started with actually the Catholic church abuses, which is why the horror Babylon got my eye on you. I was just like, oh, at a very young age, I was like, oh, okay, well, clearly when there are really large, opaque networks of wealthy people that have formed their own institutions,

they just all become pedophiles. Look over a certain income level, you're going to fuck kids. I'm sorry. It's just true. Or you're going to be CIA or both. But at the same time, you kind of have to internalize that shit and move forward. And you don't really have time to construct a corkboard full of strings of yarn and thumbtacks at every door.

So knowing what you know, because we're a very specific group of people here, we're weird. We just have to acknowledge that as a hyper politicized people, you're extremely normal. That is an extremely normal blazer you have on and I definitely don't have vertigo and you don't look like a butler in Tron. Look, I'm missing the Oscars for this and I miss my homosexuals, so I'm feeling fashion bitchy. The claws are out tonight, honey.

Do we got Donald Trump on the stage? New Hampshire Fashion Week is no longer hot. No big stars, no daring styles. But it's not your job to go out and reveal everything to everyone at all times. You can have your instincts and think of it as like during the Epstein shit, I watched a lot of Coen Brothers movies. It's a very good thing to watch because it's like, I don't know, maybe there's reason to the universe, maybe there's a God, maybe he doesn't care, maybe there isn't one.

It doesn't matter. What we know for sure is that Pete Buttigieg will not succeed. Whether he's CIA or just the kind of anti-Debs, as you will. Either way, you can have fun with it. If he is some up-jumped little piece of shit who's just got too big for his britches, you can feel the satisfaction of squashing. It doesn't matter. And bringing him back down to where he belongs.

And if you believe that he is a literal emissary of the deep state, attempted to sabotage. But maybe chill a little bit. Form back, form back, Amber. If you believe that he literally is here to be short-circuit, a leftist movement, either way, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You can either get the enjoyment of just watching this little um-jump piece of shit get brought

down to size, or you can come together and realize, this is the evil. This is the dark heart of America that prevents things from being good. And they are so fucking scared. They are so fucking scared that they've gotten in front of their little fucking cauldron, and they put in the nude eye, and the bad ear, and whatever the fuck, and brought forth this disgusting homunculus, and we still fucking be him. And here's the thing though, your job, at doors, is not to get everyone to understand your entire worldview.

It's to get working people to follow their instincts about who is on their side and who is not. And that is easy, and you can do that, and we are doing that, and that is the trajectory of this shit. We are winning. The single most transformative thing of this campaign, which you are a part of, I hope, has been the question, will you fight for someone you don't know? It's a question no one has explicitly asked in American politics in my fucking lifetime.

Whether or not this man is in the satanic league with Lucifer Lou Holtz, or he is the greatest LinkedIn user of all time, it's fine either way. It doesn't really matter, because he's what's standing in the way of that, of that question, that fundamental cultural change, like you or I have never fucking seen in this country. And that is what they're afraid of, and we're going to fucking win. Again, I spend a lot of time, like when I get my dark place, I'm like, is this actually cynical or are you incompetent? And you end up in that position a lot with the Democratic Party, it's like, is there

conspiracy or are you moron? That is a distinction without a difference. Indeed. And if you focus too much on it, you won't focus on the goal. It truly is a confederacy of dunces. Here's the thing, to Amber's point though, you can believe all of this, you can believe none of it. The end result, however you add up the equation, equals the same thing.

The subversion of a popular Democratic left-wing movement that seeks to empower working people in this country and restore us the rights that we deserve, that we want, that we all need to thrive and live in this country, in this world, on this fucking planet. Left-wing populism on the rise. And here's the thing, what we're facing now is no different than what every single other popular left-wing movement in this country has dealt with. Well, I'm going to jump in and that's there. It's a little different.

They're not shooting at us. Yes. Honestly, here's the thing, we get a lot of shit and if you're here you might be a millennial, so you might have gotten a lot of shit about being soft or whatever. And that's a thing a little bit because we're listless and if you ended up in the wrong end of 2008, you've not had a lot of sort of advantages to be able to exercise your power. However, talking about soft, our enemies used to have the Pinkerton's just fucking mowed

down tent cities with women and children of like peach pickers and we're not in grapes of wrath fucking territory right now. They have gotten soft. And I just want to bring this up because the thing about the Millennial Snowflakes thing, I'm sorry, we do have to be a little bit honest about the fact that being un- or underemployed, being desocialized and atomized, it does make you like a weird raw nerve. We are a little bit soft or we have been, but there's this thing, this Bernie Sanders campaign that is strengthening us and I want to read something from someone who emailed

us and we get a lot of emails and a lot of them are like, you should fire Amber but have one more female guest, feminism says fire Amber. But this one was so beautiful. Thanks, buddy. Dear Chopa Trot House podcasters, oh, wow, I'm delirious. As a frequent listener and Patreon subscriber to your podcast, I'd like to thank you for all the good work you do for our boy Bernie Sanders. I'd also like to share my experience calling for Bernie with other listeners through the

following letter and I know that's, and if, and I know that's a big if, you think it could help our political revolution. I have social anxiety, I have generalized anxiety, I'm a generally anxious person. When I was a child, I used to be unable to walk around at school without literally shaking in terror. This is all to say, I did not think I was the ideal person to call for Bernie. In fact, for most of this primary season, I was too anxious to even text for Bernie. But something snapped in me tonight.

The Iowa caucus was today and I didn't want to feel powerless over the results. I wanted to do something. I told myself I'd make one call for Bernie. When that call went to voicemail, I made another. I found following a script was much easier than trying to think of what to say myself. After all, these people didn't dislike me, they disliked the script or Bernie. And if people can get angry at such a wholesome creature as Bernie Sanders, then maybe the people who don't like me in my life are just nuts.

Tell me I'm sentimental, but I really did learn something calling for Bernie. People were dicks and one of my worst fears is that when people are being dicks, it's all my fault. But as an anonymous caller for a good cause, you realize it's not really your fault. Being impeccably nice to those douchebags feels good too. That's Midwestern big dickness, by the way. Because you know if they want you to get defensive, you know they want you to get defensive. Instead, I was as calm as I've ever been telling those fuckers to have a nice day.

That is Midwestern big dickness. I ended up making over 50 calls. My confidence improved so much in an hour. So please, if you think you can't call for Bernie, try it. Surprise yourself of how capable you are. I feel empowered and maybe you will too. Best wishes, Courtney. Here's the thing.

People talk about fucking millennial snowflakes being soft and weak or whatever. And you know what? We've been through shit. There is a reason why maybe we've gotten a little listless and soft and weak. However, we are getting stronger. And our enemies have been resting on their laurels, getting fat and weak. Every day I'm in here, I get weaker. And out there, Bernie gets stronger.

Okay, I can't say anything else after that. Better than to plug, okay, what are we going to do now? What do we do with this knowledge? Thank you for that, Virgil. Right before we end, just give us a snapshot of where we are right now, 48 hours out, and then we're going to tell you what we're doing tomorrow and what you can do. I'm sure like everyone else, you've been reading the polls anxiously or refreshing the real clear politics average.

Some polls have Bernie up by a big margin. Other polls have him neck and neck with Pete Buttigieg. I will tell you this, based on what I know, which includes publicly available data and includes conversations with people in media sources that I happen to know, that it is a close race. You should not come out of this thinking that if you do nothing, Bernie Sanders will just walk away with it like he did in 2016. This is a fundamentally different race.

And the fucking rat, and who again, well allegedly conspired with the Iowa Democratic Party, the DNC, and the fucking media to gain an inflated fucking bounce from the Iowa caucus. Which once again, Bernie Sanders won. Operation Bacchipur, propaganda, literal propaganda. His surge is real. He is consolidating support from the candidates who have gone down, such as Joe Biden, who literally the first words out of his mouth at the last debate were, well, you know, I'm

not going to win this one. I guess I'll just hang out here because it's warm. What are you guys doing? Well, okay, so his fucking New Hampshire operation is totally collapsing. And Buttigieg is the prime beneficiary of it. It is a neck and neck race, and this will come down to turnout. There's no time left for there to be another, you know, major shock or major shift. The debate was the last opportunity.

I personally think Pete Buttigieg ate shit at the fucking debate. He sounded terrible. But keep in mind, not everybody watches the debate, not everybody shares my opinion because not everyone looks at him and thinks, oh, that is a murine creature who is not of my same species. Yes. Fine. It's going to come down to turnout, which means it's going to come down to field.

If you're here from out of state, if you're from in-state, well, heck, if you're just here, thank God, God bless you. This matters. The next 48 hours fucking matter. We're going to do it, knock on the doors, knock on the doors. Tomorrow you're doing canvassing, calls and texts, day of that plus actual get out the vote. That is the only way that Bernie can win the New Hampshire primary.

I swear to God, I swear to God, I swear to God, I might die, but I am canvassing. I do think that Bernie is favored, but I also think that, well, I mean, I also know that this is a one or two point race. This is not the fucking Emerson poll showing it 10 points. This is a close race. It is going to rain on Tuesday. Bernie Sanders needs a big turnout. And if you meet someone who says, well, on Tuesday afternoon that, well, I like Bernie,

but it's raining out. You fucking drag him to the fucking polls because he will need every fucking vote. I swear to God. Let's say you weren't warned. Gary New Hampshire, to that end, to that end, what can you do? We have been told the real, the place where the battle will be fought is in Durham, New Hampshire. There is a canvas location, 15 Mill Road, Durham, New Hampshire.

It is a community center and food pantry called the Waze Meat Center. They will be canvassing out of there from 8am to 4pm tomorrow and 8am to 7pm on election day. Monday night is the concert at UNH with the Strokes, Bernie and AOC. We will be there. We will be there for that, but we will be in Durham, New Hampshire tomorrow. Yes. Durham needs canvassers.

There are not enough people there. It's UNH. It's a college town. Bernie won it last time. He needs to run up the numbers there, which means he needs canvassers. If you are able, you have transportation, you can get to Durham, New Hampshire tomorrow. We will be there in the afternoon, 12pm to 4pm. That's prime time.

If you don't have a ride, I'm sure the campaign has people that can drive you. The thing is, it's very important that you find your way out of there because the central areas are very saturated. Yes. So, that's where we're at. What? You want to read that address one more time? Okay.

15 Mill Road. I flipped it. 15 Mill Road, Durham, New Hampshire tomorrow. 15 Mill Road, Durham, New Hampshire. Come by. We need the killers. We need the shooters. Work some turf.

They've got a lot of turf. Other locations of the state are running out of turf because there's so many fucking people from out of state here to elect Bernie Fuckin' Sanders. Folks, he's good. This is what we're here for. Let's finish this fight. I said for months leading up to this, Iowa is the skeleton key that will unlock it all. We did what we needed to do there.

We have slammed the door shut again. The door is still open. You guys got to walk through it, New Hampshire. If we do this, it's a fucking highway. He's going to win. He's going to win. He wins, New Hampshire. He is going to win the whole thing.

I swear to fucking God. You guys have got. You guys have got. Take that anger. Take that fear that you feel inside of you about what these demon fucking assholes are trying to do to you and hone it to a fucking sharpened edge, keep it close to you and do what you need to do tomorrow to put a fucking exclamation point on this victory. Clear eyes, full heart, sharp knives.

Because Bernie, if they rat fuck him out of this, he can still win. His numbers are strong enough. Pete is actually the worst person they could have picked to be the last pit stop because of how wildly unpopular he is among non-white voters. Mike Bloomberg is somehow even less popular. So he can still win it. But soon on God, I'm 90% sure most of my family don't know who Mike Bloomberg on God, though, if he wins to Hampshire, it's fucking over.

Do not be. You saw what happened. I would, but do not be pessimistic. Don't be cynical about it. There's I promise you, there's no SDEs this time. It's all about putting the most points on the board. So when you go out there and you put points on the board, feel fucking good about it because each fucking point counts.

There are Bernie people, there are Bernie people in every one of these fucking counting rooms. They're not going to be able to steal it because there's not going to be some arcane magical fucking math. It's just pure raw numbers. And we're going to be there to make sure that they get fucking counted right. They're going to keep trying. They are going to keep trying. They're going to fail because we are going to overwhelm them with our success.

Mary New Hampshire, you have your orders, you are ready to deploy, all our shooters tonight. Let's go. One more time. Bernie. Bernie. Bernie. Bernie. Bernie.

Bernie. Bernie. Bernie. Bernie. Bernie. By the way, really quick, was anyone in that audience last night who booed Mayor Pete? Yeah, God bless you. Okay, real quick, real quick.

It's time to do some offline harassment. Real quick guys, we're going to close it out before we do a few thank yous tonight. First and foremost, we have a film and photography crew here tonight. So if you see someone with a camera, just say, great job. They're the people who filmed that amazing intercept video about how Bernie organized the satellite caucuses in Iowa. So please. They're not like fake news media.

They're good guys. Please give them a salute. Absolutely. To Molly O'Brien. Yes. A co-producer and videographer. The videos that you've seen tonight and earlier from Iowa. She is our shooter co-producer and then of course producer, the man behind the boards,

Chris Way. Absolutely. On the ones and twos. And last but not least, Twitter user at Philburn nuts for making the rat mode image. We did it in Iowa. We're going to do it again for you guys here in New Hampshire tonight. Let's not stand up though. We're going to.

We're going to. We're going to do cringe for you guys. We fucked it up in Iowa terribly. We're going to do it. We're going to kill it this time. We're all going to kill it. We're going to lead you guys here or someone here. Solidarity forever.

Ready? So let's listen to each other because here we go. You guys can sing along in the chorus, right? You have to sing along in the chorus. Solidarity forever, solidarity forever, solidarity forever, for the union makes us strong. Solidarity forever, solidarity forever, solidarity forever, solidarity forever, solidarity forever, Solidarity forever, for the Union makes us strong. It is we who have the prairies, built the cities where they trade,

dug the mines and built the workshops, and the smiles of Ray the Rolead. Now we stand up, cast and starving, with the wonders we have made, for the Union makes us strong. Solidarity forever, for the Union makes us strong. They have taken on hold millions that they never were able to do, but without our brain and muscle, now the single wheel can turn, we can break their money power, gain our freedom when we learn that the Union makes us strong. Solidarity forever, for the Union makes us strong. In our hands is place of power greater than their horde of gold, greater than the might of atoms magnified above the mold,

and we can bring forth a new world from the ashes of old, for the Union makes us strong. Solidarity forever, for the Union makes us strong. We are going to do it!