Chapo Trap House - 396 - Live from San Diego: Masterclass Mode (2/24/20)

Episode Date: February 25, 2020

Our live show from the Observatory North Park in San Diego. We are doing live screening and talkback of Good Vibes at the Iowa State Fair this coming Monday, March 2nd at New Parkway theater in Oakland, CA. If you're in the area, please come thru!  Tickets here: https://ticketing.us.veezi.com/purchase/9807?siteToken=P5WXdOEJ3Eq2eHbZHTAtbg%3D%3D For reference: Pete's Blackout Video: https://twitter.com/PeteButtigieg/status/1231388368707182593 Trump & Bloomberg Get Hotdogs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0rLHave74c&feature=youtu.be

Music San Diego, what's up? Wow, wow, we got some, how you guys feeling tonight? Any particular reason? What do you think? What do you think? Okay. I haven't been watching the news, what's going on?

Yeah. Joe Biden has secured his best ever primary finish. That's right. Number two in Nevada! That's right, we're going to Scranton. We're going to Wilkesbury. We're going to Wilmington. We're going to the one Costco outside Wilmington.

San Diego, I got one question for you. Do you want to win the Nevada caucus by one point or by fucking 30 points? That's right. That's right. That's right. San Diego. San Diego, we are three for three. We are going three for three.

I don't know if you're aware of this, but Bernie Sanders has won the popular vote in the first three states of a presidential primary. Something that has never happened before in U.S. political history. Unprecedented, breaking records. Smashing all records. An absolute masterclass. Absolute masterclass San Diego. So we're going to tell you, it's working. Bernie Sanders campaign strategy is working as we saw demonstrated dramatically in San Diego.

And our strategy is also working. By that, I mean coordinated online harassment. It's true. Don't let results speak for themselves. Don't let anyone tell you that it's hurting your candidate or you have a better use of your time. So San Diego. It's really like what the British Redcoats would complain that the colonial patriots would hide behind trees or something when they shot them. They would be like, that's not fair.

It's like, sorry, motherfucker, it works. San Diego, with your help, with everyone hearing this audience tonight. We've gone three for three so far. Iowa won. New Hampshire won. Nevada caucus a fucking massacre. A fucking slaughter. With your help, San Diego and the rest of California.

We will leave this state with all of your fucking delegates in our back pocket for Bernard Sanders. That's everyone in this room. If you do your part, every single delegate could be ours by super Tuesday in this, the biggest and second best of all states. Oh, okay, all right, all right, all right. So, okay, I'll kiss your ass for a little bit. It is, of course, it's great to be here in San Diego. The weather is beautiful. The city is just good vibes all around.

We're coming from Las Vegas where we were beset on all sides by just legions of Tyson Fury fans. Just feral British people wandering around a casino. It was, oh, it was so good because you could see them coming and you didn't have to hear them speak to know who they were. Because they were all the color of lobsters. They were all in like Conor McGregor tight fisting three piece suits, but just bulging like overstuffed sausages. Half of them had shaved heads just like with stubble birds and shit. And you're like, those guys are British. And then they get closer, they'd be like, oh, it's the bloody president.

Yeah, it was like a fallout game. Like, just everywhere, there was like a three day period where every time like I got back to our hotel, I would be accosted by a different class of Brit enemy. And like, I mean, like I went into this, I went into this, the week of the Nevada caucus, I was fearful of rat mode. But we saw that rat mode has a cool down. You cannot use rat mode for another five turns until you cannot use rat mode until there's voting at like 98% white state. It's been downgraded to mouse mode.

But yeah, we found a new thing though. It's called master class mode. Yes. It's your bright orange all the time. You're just blackout drunk somehow from the moment you get up. Like your body fucking metabolizes air into Newcastle. I was like, I feel like the Brits made Tyson Fury win just by sheer force of will, just by pure English unpleasantness,

by the pure evil aura of being drunk and screaming for 18 hours a day. But no, like we are, we are adopting master class mode into the Sanders movement. Absolutely. And it's like I said, San Diego, it's gorgeous here. We've been feeling great all day long. We've recovered from our week in Las Vegas, which is longer than anyone should spend in Las Vegas. No, it's like you should spend as much time as Vegas as you should cleaning up on top of the roof of the Chernobyl reactor. I didn't think we were all going to be here tonight.

We honestly, yes. Well, we had a great time nonetheless. But initially upon arriving here in San Diego, when we're already together, a very interesting thing happens. And it happens to feel. All of our periods think up. So it's real. It's real.

This is this is another magical thing that happens to us. Because that was to Felix. And every time we're in a new place, he just sort of he wait. Felix is our greens here. That's the thing. He has prophetic energy. It's amazing. It's uncanny.

He has prophetic energy and abilities. And he pays the light. And he he wakes up in the morning and he just wargs into like a new archetype of the place that he is visiting. So he has discovered a new a new warg character that he can he can sort of inhabit and channel. Felix, would you like to explain who the San Diego soul cow guy that you're channeling now is? Bear in mind, he did not interact with San Diego or San Diego in any way. I really did not leave his hotel room at once. I tried to.

He's a pure empath. I tried to go to the gym and it was closed and I just watched like a halo lore videos until the show like I didn't I didn't fucking talk to anyone really. But so like the moment I woke up today, I like felt, you know, the another person's vibe. And I was thinking about a type of person very familiar to Southern California, San Diego specifically. I was thinking about a guy named Jackson Tyler Jackson. He's like an assistant minister at one evangelical church called like rock or reclimate. And he has like dark eyebrows but like very like noticeable like shitty blonde hair. All he like all his sons are named Jackson, but with an X.

And he like, yeah, he just he thinks the UN is after his ministry that he's embezzled $875,000 from and hits on 16 year olds at skate ministry. But that like I'm not saying it's okay or endorsing the actions of Jackson Tyler Jackson. But this was the energy I picked up here. The SoCal evangelical male, the 50 year old with a pinstripe shirt with an open collar that like reveals a t-shirt with some like idiot fucking evangelical phrase on it. That's like, you know, it's like, you know, the calling shotgun in God's car. But if any of your I assume most of your fathers are like this, I would like to hang out with him before I leave tomorrow. San Diego, you have long boarded your way into Felix's heart. I love it here. I love minister Jackson to fucking minister Corey Trevor Daniel.

All your guys, all your guys who just have like they just like they have the shitty wide face from being alcoholics for 40 years. But they keep getting Botox and they're like, you know, it's really been downhill since Obama legalized abortion in 2012. In their studies, they've all got framed their theology degrees and their real estate license. All right, San Diego, let's let's take you back though. Let's take you back to last night. All right. All right, so just it's going on here like I just just share your initial thoughts on the, like I said, absolute master class last night in Nevada. It was a master class. There were tears in our eyes, literally. What can you say about it? I mean, I got I got I got one thing, but it's about a reaction to it. But I think it's good. I'm in favor.

I mean, I got to say, though, I mean, we fucking needed it because I got to say, I mean, Iowa, we know what happened. We know we saw what happened that night in Iowa. And you know, I was clawing my fucking eyes out that whole night. New Hampshire, it was like three or four hours of being in like a big college basketball gymnasium. Just like, oh, my God, it's getting close. Every molecule in my body just like twisted into a little figure eight or whatever. Just just wait and just call it. Just call it. Fuck, I need this so bad. Fucking yesterday, we were having lunch and we're just like, oh, five percent are in. They just called it for percent. Prop, prop, prop. It's amazing.

Feels good, right? It's not bad. It's not bad. Oh, it feels so good. It's just calmly, you know, reading the results over polenta at Spago at the Bellagio. It's great. Yeah, in Iowa, like we were just pacing around Will's room in our motel and I went, I was just so like, fuck, we're not getting any results. I'm so nervous. We need this. I went back to my room to like play video games and everyone on my discord was doing the same thing we were doing. They were just pacing around in their fucking headsets. I couldn't escape it. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, I think I gave myself like three subdermal infections biting my pinky nail. But like this, yeah, I was just like looking at the margin grow as the day went on and wondering if I could get to like in another adidas outlet before we had to go.

Okay, here's the we're going to take you back to like when we last broadcast to you, which is, you know, right before the debate in Nevada. But I just want to like, you know, take you back to last night because here's something I want to start off when I reading doing a reading series for you. This is a selection from reading. This is the abridged version of the Pete Buttigieg third place mega thread that he posted last night. Now this is yeah. Okay. All right. Here's the first one. That's how it starts. But Chris, just give them the scale of the thread. Can we see that? That's that is cringe. And you know, and Chris, Chris pointed this out and he's 100% right. He's doing these mega threads just to delay like so you can read it. You have to read it for a really long time before you just see like a sea of rat emojis and the replies to it.

So yeah, this was Pete's reaction back when he thought he finished second. All right. So I'm going to speak in here. He says, um, I believe we need to defeat Trump and turn the page on this era in our politics by establishing a tone of belonging, bringing an end, bringing an end to the viciousness and the bullying that is tearing apart our country. I mean, I don't know, vicious bullying is actually bringing me together with all of you. Look at you guys. Look at all these people. Don't you feel the love? Don't you feel it? I mean, not towards this asshole, but that's the point.

He says here, I believe the only way to truly deliver any of the progressive changes we care about is to be a nominee who actually gives a damn about the effect you are having from the top of the ticket on those critical frontline House and Senate Democrats that we need to win. Yeah. So the guy that got zero delegates in Nevada, he's definitely going to be a big boost down ticket. The guy who has the guy who has less black and Latino support than Seinfeld when it was on TV is going to be a big boost down ticket for the Democrats. All right. So he says, Senator Sanders is ignoring dismissing or even attacking the very Democrats. We absolutely must send to Capitol Hill in order to keep Nancy Pelosi a speaker. Oh yeah. That's got to be priority number one. Wait a second. Wait, she's from California.

Don't you guys like her? Is she good? Wait, what? I actually, I heard these guys outlawed Nancy Pelosi. That's what I heard. Yeah, at least there's not a shitty Democrat congressional leader from New York, number one. He goes, we can prioritize either ideological purity or inclusive victory. We can either call people names online or we can call them into our movement. No, we can do both. We can definitely do both.

You got to admit that was kind of fire. You have to admit. You have to hand it to him. Yeah, you really do. No, it's the calling people names online. That is the siren song that is bringing people into the movement. Yes, because they're like, I want to stop getting people making fun of me. We can either tighten a narrow and hardcore base or open the tent to a new, broad, big-hearted American coalition.

It gets a lot worse. It gets a lot worse. It's just gibberish. Everyone knows all of the hardcore broads are in fact... Yeah, it's not cool to call Amy Klobuchar that word. They're natural enemies though. Here's where it gets really bad. We need a new slide for this one. Let's see the next one.

Yes, sir. There we go. There we go. Slide it up. Okay, this past fall... Buster Bluthass. Oh, back when he was at Army. Collateral boredom. If I told you a joke that this guy didn't do basic training before joining the military, you'd laugh, right?

Oh, wait, I didn't tell that joke. The Wall Street Journal did in their front page article. This past fall, this past fall, we were campaigning near Reno. And in the middle of my remarks, the power went out completely. I was speaking to a dark room with no microphone, raising my voice to make myself heard. It only took a moment, but then something happened. One person held up the glowing screen of their phone, and then another, and then another. Everyone holding up their lit phones together until the whole room lit up.

And I couldn't see who was who behind each light. Who was young, and who was old? Who was white, and who was black, or Latino, or Asian, or Native? I like... Thank you so much, guys. You guys are showing that when the unity of our phones comes together, the fear of not being charged goes away. Let's go, boys.

Let's go. Let's fucking go. This MFS porn hub on this phone, it's open. I think a lot of black.com, man. I like the ending of the phone, the asinine phone thing is great, because at the end, he's like, yeah, and then I just got to pretend that all my supporters weren't white. Who was white, and who was black? Who was Latino, or Asian, or Native?

You know, we're all Latino when my eyes are closed. I saw each little light and knew that behind it was an American who saw the lights go out and knew to do something about it. All it took... That's not a compliment. It's like, oh, it's dark, I'll turn on a light. That's not brilliant or inspiring. It's just like, oh, I can't see.

I went to a baseball game with my family, and I saw as person after person went to the bathroom, relieving the pressure in their bowels and bladder, because when they had a problem, they knew to find a solution. The people who are part of this campaign won't do things like just kiss open electrical circuits and die instantly. The people in the Pete Buttigieg movement have never died because they forgot to drink water or starve to death. The people in our movement would never, if the lights went out, just start cannibalizing each other.

JK, they absolutely would. Mayor Pete fans don't just put their hands on hot stoes. They're really smart. It's inspiring. So it goes, all it took was one person, and others began to do the same. If we can light up a high school gym. You only had one person that had to, everyone would be like, oh, okay. Oh, damn, I forgot my phone could do that. Thank you. If we can light up a high school gym, we can light a neighborhood.

In Afghanistan. If we can light up a neighborhood. You get it, not me. If we can light up a neighborhood, we can light a city. If we can light up a city, we can light up our country. If we can light up our country, we can make this nation we love shine once more as a beacon to the world. By the way. Why didn't he use that Bruno Mars song instead of High Hopes?

That lighter song. By the way, I love that he included a line about if we can light up a city. It's like, no, Pete, you're not supposed to let people know you are in the CIA. The CIA, the military McKinsey, they can, they can light up cities real good. If we can light a bunch of thermite plasma charges on 911. All right, so that's not okay. With one more thing about this, I want to share to you because there is actual video of this incident that he's talking about. And I'd like to play it for you now here and just see if you can discern the authenticity that drips off this totally spontaneous moment that happened.

And by the way, this entire speech is plagiarized almost word for word from an Obama speech. So it's not like they had any, you know, incentive to create this little moment of political movie magic. Run the clip. It's even worse. Justice is ought to be able to retire like they used to. Can you hear me if I just, if I just loud? Oh God. Holy fuck. I had never seen this before. That's a different cross video every time.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Okay. Okay. First of all, first of all, I had never seen this video before. So this is a first response you're getting from me. It's daylight and there are tons of windows. So there's that. I like, yeah, I like just stationing like $30,000 worth of camera equipment in the audience just in case there's an inspiring moment. That God that fucking suck Pete Pete's Pete's training almost kicked in and he almost he almost sprayed the audience with a performance of behind blue eyes. Oh, I feel bad. Yeah. That's really not good.

I feel inspired. I don't know about you guys. I also like when he was like, um, you know, when the lights were out, I couldn't tell if some of the person holding the phone was black, white or Latino. And when the lights were out as well, they couldn't tell that I wasn't Obama when I was doing this insipid vocal impression of him. Oh, I'll, I'll let me be clear. Is it okay if I just yell like this? I'm imagining now a Biden rally where they hold up their jitterbugs. Just these giant clam shelf flip phones, holding them up with both hands. I'm picturing like hotel rotary phones. Yeah, it just the it just the greatest display of like outdated electronics like little TVs playing an Orioles game.

That would rock. Yeah. And Biden like Biden somehow has an eight track player. Hey, are you, are you into, uh, you into the Almond Brothers? Like a Biden, I want to see this now so bad with Biden because like I want to hear what he would say if like the lights spontaneously went out. It would have been so much cooler than Pete going like, oh, I have to turn up one Obama octave. No, Biden would be like, oh, so you're here for me finally grim reaper. And I'm not going out without a fight. Well, it looks like I'm dying, Jack.

Amber, do you remember what you told me backstage about the when I explained the Pete blackout to you? Oh, yeah, I just said that like, you shouldn't believe anything that Mayor Pete says involving the word black. He likes to fear all life. He invented the support of that blackout. Also, I got to say, like, this is, did he actually respond before the queue? Yeah, he did. Oh, what? Like Hillary, those fucking balloons.

So that is, that is, uh, yeah, like I said, Pete, people get no delegates. Goodbye, Pete. Goodbye, Peter. You're a loser, honey. All right, so like I said, we should like, you know, we're going to take you up to the present. We'll take you back to like when we last broadcast, which was right before the Nevada debate. Did you guys watch that? Honestly, it was the only fun.

I've watched every one of these and they all feel like getting a fucking tooth drilled. This is the only fucking good one we've ever seen. I especially liked it because the inversion got to watch it in the press area at the casino where it was taking place. We were, what, two rows behind Tomi Lahren? Yeah, Tomi Lahren was there. Well, we'll get to your experience in the spin room in just a little bit. But first of all, overall take from the debate. They all look so much like themselves in this picture.

Look, that's all perfect. Bloomberg looks like he's coming out of the ground. Like he just popped up from hell and he's like, but he just popped up from hell and he's like, by the way, all the women sign papers saying that they like me. And like Amy is reminding herself that fear is, you know, the little death that brings all oblivion. Joe's just having a good time. Warren is ooh, ooh, me teacher, me, me, me. Bernie's like, this coleslaw is not fresh.

And Pete is desperately trying to get in a word, but literally no one cares. They're all themselves so much. Maybe it's just the color correction, but Amy looks like she's turning into the Incredible Hulk. Like she's super cyan-ing. Cyan-ing. Whatever the fuck. People halfway. I, most under like, there were a lot of great moments during this debate, but like the most,

this is like an honorable mention for me. But when they asked Pete about his Bernie essay and they're like, Pete, you wrote an essay and he was like, yes, I did. Yes, I got a very good grade. It was like the only time I've actually seen him happy at one of these debates. But overall, top headline from this debate, Michael Bloomberg crushed it. He did so good. Talk about an absolute masterclass. He's a viber.

I mean, he did. I mean, he blew everyone away. I mean, honestly, it's over. It's over for Sanders. I'm sorry. It's the raw charisma. It's the sheer likability. He was just so...

Everyone just made a sale. He was alpha. He was so likable, charismatic, trustworthy in every way. He did not in any way trip with contempt for anyone who made less than $10 billion. It's cool. One of the Jewish guys running for president, just incredibly fucking likable and cool. Not no bullshit, like compassionate. He's no bullshit, but he like laughs and stuff.

He seems like a great guy, like has his family that loves him. And the other one is just like, oh, in case you forgot, I'm very rich. No, it literally was like a Semitic Goofus and Gallant. I kept expecting Bernie to just break down and at some point being like, let me be clear. This man, he's bad for the Jews. He is bad for the Goya. One more interesting element about Bloomberg that as it relates to the show and our uncanny ability to will things into reality.

Virgil, what did you... I mean, months ago, you said of the Bloomberg Terminal. That it sucks you off. It's something that's how Bloomberg made his money. And we were confused about this at first until I remembered. Yeah, Bloomberg was just some asshole, misogynist, racist, Wall Street guy. And he, you know, he cashed out with like $100 million or something. And he used that money to develop like those old Pac-Man machines

that you'd find in arcades or bowling alleys. No, those are cool. Well, he took the casing of it and he put in a computer that just sends stock numbers, which is exactly what a computer does. And it's also on your phone. Right, right, except this is a gigantic thing that every fucking rich person and Wall Street trader has to own because not only that, it has an IM feature called IB where you send instant Bloombergs to other Wall Street guys

to let them know that you're coming because it sucks you off. And it costs like $80,000. I think we should get one to go with our Peloton. I agree. I agree. There's no better time to execute trades on the market than when you're getting the endorphins flowing on a Peloton. I've never been sucked off by a Bloomberg terminal. I've never had the opportunity to use one.

So this is all just kind of, you know, from top of the dome. Okay, so yeah, I mean, it's a computer that shows you numbers and sucks you off while it's doing it. I mean, why else would you spend $20,000 on a computer? But check this out. Someone found out that Bloomberg literally said of his Bloomberg terminal, yeah, like it'll suck you off, it'll do everything. It's a computer that does everything, including give a blowjob.

And then he said, if that's the case, all my sales girls will be out of a job. Yeah, he's not a good guy. He's bad. You guys are very upset. How much will it cost to make you not be upset anymore? By the way, before you leave tonight, could you please, there will be an NDA signing line.

Make sure to put your John here. Ladies first. Okay, so yeah, Bloomberg, yeah, he's bad. He's a really bad guy. He's a no good guy. And to that, so in our Vegas show, we opened our Bloomberg segment showing the utterly surreal video of him in this horrible Broadway review where he gets on wires

and floats above the stage saying, I'll make everyone behave waving to the crowd. Shilling. Horrifying. So, we're not going to leave you guys behind. We will definitely damage everyone's brain tonight in this room by showing you this clip of Bloomberg, which sums up everything.

Oh, God. Ladies, Mr. Trump is here. Be calm, cool, and professional. It's our great mayor. Oh, my God. What's the hat? Woo! Mayor Bloomberg and Donald Trump paid a visit.

It was the highlight of this task for me. And he's going to test the right. It's the number one prank file in this city. Not the only kind of file he is. I'm just going to see whether you guys can cut the buzzer. All right then. Very good. I can't tell whether these are better or worse

from the one the men's were selling until I have a hot dog with men. I can tell you this, without seeing the men, you guys look better. I'm down, Mike. Settle the fuck down. Ladies, meet the mayor of New York, Mayor Bloomberg. Hey, Mayor Bloomberg, how are you, sir?

Very nice of you gentlemen to come by. Thank you. The question is, is this the best hot dog or is the best hot dog sold by all of those gorgeous women at the last hot dog stand? Very good. I'll bet he'll never reveal the answer. And that's where you're the mayor in New York.

There you go. Okay. I really enjoyed the eating shots, so it's like, yep, I sure do enjoy human food. Love putting it into my mouth, digesting it, passing it out if I ate it. I actually enjoy a hot dog as much as a child's goal. Could we afford a lesser Baldwin?

Daniel has got to be. They seem to be cheap. Here's a note I want to make about this video. It's about a one minute, one minute and a half clip. The sheer concentration of the biggest douchebags on the planet, one after the other, okay, it starts off with Donald Trump and Michael Bloomberg, so you're like, fuck, we're well on your way.

Then out of nowhere, Piers Morgan shows up. It's Michael Bloomberg. It's Piers Morgan, mate. Piers Morgan shows up. Eric, Don Jr. Gene Simmons of Kess, the worst man alive ever. Steven Baldwin. And then Steven fucking Baldwin.

Trace Atkins, if you were wondering who that asshole at the cowboy at was. I mean, Trace, I'll give him a pass, but just... No, he sucks. Okay. Bloomberg. His name is Trace. It's for kids who cheated art class. That's not a real name.

Bloomberg. Trump. Eric. Don Jr. Steven Baldwin. Piers Morgan. And Gene Simmons. Just sort of like, like,

gathering around a New York City hot dog cart. And what the fuck is even the challenge? Can you get like a hot dog out of dirty water and stick it in a bun and shove it into the face of this? These are celebrities. That's as much as you can ask them. Goblin, mayor of New York City. So they are all the same hot dogs?

Yeah, there's no preparation. One of the things that, you know, Felix has pointed out about, like, the bodega fetish is that, like, every single bodega has the same boar's head meat. There's no expertise that goes into this. And there's certainly no expertise that goes into the hot dog trait, if you will.

It doesn't make any sense at all. It's all a bunch of, like, C to D list celebrities getting as low to the ground as they possibly can to suck Bloomberg's dick. The phallic itself is off the chart. Stephen Baldwin at the end, where, like, he's supposed to judge who made better hot dogs, the men or the women, and he said, like,

oh, well, like, well, look here, I know you look better than a man. And then at the end, he goes, like, he's, like, he's, you know, choking down this disgusting hot dog, this disgusting street dog in New York. And he goes, all right, and then, like, you know, I know who has the better one. He goes, yeah, but I bet you he'll never tell.

And then Stephen Baldwin just is a fucking kid. He just goes, that's why you're mayor of New York City, baby. Oh, God. And he started crying because his more successful brother won't return his calls. This video, like, if I was, if I get a new job after this election, CFO of ISIS.

After they're, you know, after they're acquired by Bane Capital and McKinsey is set in to the streamline, I, to cut costs, I would unfortunately have to, like, cut the entire video production department and just replace all ISIS output with this video. This video, yeah, if you're, like, on the fence, this video will make you join ISIS.

Absolutely. It's so sad. It's like, it's like when, you know, like, there would be all of these postmortems, like after Gawker got shuttered, but for Dubeek, journalism used to mean something. Now it's this fucking video content.

And you know, you know, that after he took that bite, in both cases, as soon as the camera cut, he spit it out into a bucket like Rusty the Clown. No, he spit it out into a woman's mouth. Probably. I only want to hear Bloomberg's taste test review of different adrenochrome preparations. That's all these qualified to talk about.

So moving on to the middle, my last little thing with the debate is, it was underrated, but Joe Biden had a master class in that debate. Yes. He was fully... I've been to Mexico more times than you would even have, Jack. That was the line...

They killed me and Diablo. That was the line... I got warrants from Tijuana to Guadalara, son. That was the line of the night for me, because it came out of nowhere. Pam Federale isn't after me. He just popped in. The camera wasn't even on him at the time,

and you just heard his disembodied voice go, nobody has been to Mexico more than me, Jack. What time it was me? It was me, Walter Predin, and Hopri Bogart, and the Sierra Badres looking for some gold. And I'll tell you, things went sideways. Biden, it was probably the best Biden performance like the entire cycle.

They gave him an entire bottle of Dexys. They just gave him the adrenaline beetle for Pulp Fiction. He didn't do the things in previous debates, where his eyes widened, where he was like, oh, I'm thinking about a word soon, Mac. Every previous debate, he just starts to look terrified after talking for 15 seconds, and a minute before his time's up,

he's like, I'm running over time. I yield the floor, Mac. But this one, he was just fucking Thuman. He was firing on all cylinders. He had an ill-advised attempt to talk about gender issues. It was like super ambitious. He's the man. Also, according to media reports, when they were all coming off the stage,

he sort of jabbed Bloomberg in the chest with his finger and said, welcome to the party, man. Alpha! Alpha! Fucking alpha! Think about, look at this straight, Jack. I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with me. See, I'm thinking more like 80s teen movie. Like, he's bully James Spader, just making you feel like, shit, I love it.

Think about Bloomberg and Biden. They're a similar age. Biden was like the Chad of the 50s, and Bloomberg was definitely the virgin. Bloomberg was just like shuffling along, like trying to play with his little nubcock and his big pants. Being like, oh, God, I can't wait till I invent a stocks computer, and then I can just do and say whatever to every woman. Meanwhile, Biden was just, you know,

ending segregation at sock hops, driving his big car down to Rehoboth. Michael Bloomberg would have fucking terror, Joe Biden would have fucking terrorized Michael Bloomberg with a towel in the 50s. So, as I mentioned earlier, oh, okay, I guess like the other big, I guess, actual news from the debate is that every single candidate other than Bernie Sanders all committed to losing the election and coming out of a brokered convention

and splitting the party, they all doubled down on stage and just said, what stage is Black Pilled AF? They're just like, literally, yes, I will do whatever I have to do, including just completely eschewing any overtures to democracy whatsoever. Yeah, would you destroy the Democratic Party and definitely lose to Donald Trump to deny Bernie Sanders a nomination? Yes. Yeah, I would.

By the way, I'm the Unity candidate, and beating Trump is the most important thing in the world over the election. Well, to be fair, at that point, Biden did think he was an Aztec God. He was still talking about Mexico. Okay, but as I mentioned a little earlier, Matt and Virgil did get the opportunity. You watched the whole debate live,

and you got the opportunity to enter that rarest of chambers. Sadly, we found out quickly that you don't get to actually watch the debate. You're in the media pen, and you're just watching it on a big TV with other dorks. And Tomi Lahren. But you got to enter the most hidden of the 36 chambers. The spin chamber. Yes, we did get to go to the spin room.

All right, real quick. Can we just get the next slide up for... Okay, computer enhance. Computer. Like tango and cash. This entire image is Mr. Bright's side to me. Virgil and Bill, can you just give us just our San Diego here tonight,

just a little taste of what it was like to be in the spin puddle, the spin cuddle puddle. As Matt said, it was a huge letdown, and it sucked. Because we were just standing around there waiting for them to whip the candidates out so that we get to touch them. I was waiting to ask Michael Bloomberg if he thinks he's just laid Maxwell as a 10 out of 10 smoke show of the week.

And I was ready to ask Pete Buttigieg, sir, do you agree that Washington has a rap problem? My question for Biden was going to be, Mr. Vice President, who was your bestest friend growing up? And we didn't get a chance for any of that because they just sent out boring ass surrogates. It sucked. It was Julian Castro for Warren.

Yeah. And Howard Wolfson for Bloomberg. Yeah, for Bloomberg, yeah, yeah. I don't even know. Boring. One of those fucking shithead New York consultants that works for both Democrats and Republicans. Yeah, it was lame.

Yeah. Sorry to let you down. We did say a lot of mean things, though. That's true. People got bad that we were there, which is also good. Yeah, that's a victory in itself. But I just... Spite!

I mean, I mean... Nicely done, Spite. I mean, people are mad at me anywhere I go, so it's not really an accomplishment. Oh, but we did discover you can vape in the spin room. Ooh. Yes. Yeah.

Of course you can. Unlike certain theaters in Iowa. Yeah. Indeed. Some people have read the Constitution. Okay. So here's another bit of news. So the night of our Vegas show was the Academy Awards.

Glamour and Glitz. Hooray for Hollywood. It was the Oscar. Oscar. Who will win? Oscar. And already there's been some political news about the Oscars, because Trump took it upon himself to just shit on Parasite,

winning Best Picture. And then Pete was just like, oh, God, this is a softball for me. This is a big meatball down the center. And he just said some shit like, I want to live in America where foreign films can win Best Picture. And it's not the president's job to choose the Best Picture winner. It's the motion picture Academy of Arts and Sciences. It's a collection of elite Hollywood pedophiles.

Allegedly. I can spot the fake Pete heads on stage. Pete had a banger for this one. It was... What was it? The president shouldn't be worrying more about foreign movies winning Best Picture than foreign interference. Oh, God, yes.

Oh, that's bad. Oh, okay. I love just like, he's really squeezing water from a stone. Like, Trump was just at a rally bragging about knowing the popcorn from the Let's All Go to the Movies animation. And Pete had... He was so horny for me. So horny for me.

I could have had it, folks. I could have had it. The hot dog's a very nasty guy, treated her very poorly. Don't go crying to me, Ms. Popcorn. But like, Pete just saw just clearly dementia-addled man and was like, y'all ready for this? I love that, though, because that's a perfect example of the sterility of the left-right politics in this country.

Because you got Trump being like, oh, Parasite, what's going on? And then he got Mayor Pete going, excuse me, sir, but Parasite shows the strength of our diversity and the diversity of our strength. By the way... Any conscious human being says, who gives a fuck about the stupid fucking Oscars? By the way...

Matt, haven't you, like, watched literally every Oscars? Until this year. This is the first one I missed. Because we were on tour. You were just waiting for politics to happen. I mean, honestly, yes. I kind of am an annoyance, because I enjoyed the glitz and glamour of Hollywood.

So actually, Pete really... Pete loved Parasite because it was going to be the name of his memoir until my former employers made him change it to the shortest way home or whatever. Pete loves Parasite because he brought so many of them from his voyages to East Asia, and it caused the plague. Okay, but this produced one more thing. I think I am sort of known as a bit of a film buff.

A bit of a buff when it comes to movies. So this whole kerfuffle over Parasite winning Best Picture has produced, in my opinion, or not my opinion, just my favorite Trump clip to date. Wow, that is high-frequency. Let's share it. Let's share it with you guys now. I need to watch this again.

Band with the Academy Awards is here. And the winner is a movie from South Korea. What the hell was that all about? We got enough problems with South Korea with trade. On top of it, they give them the best movie of the year. Was it good? I don't know. You know, I'm looking for like, let's get Gone With The Wind.

Can we get Gone With The Wind back, please? Sunset Boulevard. So many great movies. The winner is from South Korea. I thought it was Best Foreign Film, right? Best Foreign Movie. No, it was the button. Did this ever happen before?

Okay, I think this might be the only time I've ever actually seen him angry. He's very mad. He's never actually angry. He's always feigning kind of contempt or disdain or irritation. See, the thing is, Trump is kind of a movie buff as well.

I mean, we all know that him and Don Jr. watch Bloodsport and fast forward just the fighting scenes. Which is, you know, I think a pretty good way to watch that movie. Although you do lose a lot of the subtlety in Van Damme's bizarre performance. One time, Don Jr. came to watch the movie

and Don punched him in the face. You got to wear a suit to watch Bloodsport. Okay, I don't know. I don't know if this is just me, but there was something about Trump name-checking Sunset Boulevard. Sunset Boulevard, folks. Billy Wilder, he knew how to make a picture.

The great Billy Wilder, folks. One of the great... There was something about Trump name-checking Sunset Boulevard that was so perfect for me, and I started to figure out why it was making me feel this way. And then I realized that Donald Trump

is the most Norma Desmond-like man alive ever. Put it up there. They even look alike. They even look alike. Folks, folks, Trump is still big. It's the pictures that got small. They're so tiny now. Bye-bye.

He gave Ivanka like an engraved cigarette case that said, mad about the girl. Folks, stop by Mar-a-Lago on Wednesdays. I play bridge with Buster Keaton. He's called the general. No, not the auto insurance one. He has a train, a big one.

Choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo. And then I fucking realized, remember when he first ran for president, when he announced he was running for president, what did he do? He came down an escalator, a long flight of stairs. I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.

It's just that this is... This is uncanny to me. Trump-Norma-Desmond connection. He's just a queenie old bitch. Yeah. He wants to be Rex Reed or something. Just like, oh, you tried to pull off those pants? Honey, someone tell you thighs.

Every time Trump does something like this, I think about the thing I saw a week after he became president. And it was a Humvee on a naval base in San Diego. A Navy Seal Humvee plastered with Trump shit. Just plastered with it.

Like, guys just actively going overseas like, for him. And they're like, yeah, we fucking love this. And this is, this is really like the core of his message. I will die in the fields of Afghanistan to bring Glamour back to Hollywood.

I'm sorry, Taliban, but there will be a modern answer to Ava Gardner in my lifetime, where I will die here. I will commit myself to using the fifth freedom to ascertain one great encarter whose Oscar party is an embarrassment to the NATO nations.

We're still big. It's the wars that got small. The Great Billy Wilder. Folks, don't you love those movies? Oh, the Glamour Glitz. It really does remind you that for the bottom of the people who vote for him, the reason they like him

is because he complains about television shows the same way they do. And because he's the president, that means that he's the right. So it's like, they can go to their family members. See, I was right about that. I was right to say that Parasite was just dumb and I didn't want it to win.

NCIS New Orleans has gotten so preachy over the last two seasons. I get it, Mark Harmon. Go home, buddy. Berea Minounous is reusing dresses at an alarming rate. I can't believe Kristen Cavalieri is going to have another kid.

I'm going to talk to get the baby weight off last time. So, one last thing if we're intermission here. This is another movie connection here. So, like I said, we're coming from Las Vegas. And the other night before the caucus, I almost had an Uncle Jem's moment.

Oh. I almost had an Uncle Jem's moment. So we were on the floor of the MGM Grand and we were finally going to do some gaming. Engaging some games of chance. I swear to God, guys. I'm not a big gamble. This is a dear penthouse forum.

I never thought it would happen to me. I won, like, $500 in, like, two hours. I was like, one slot machine, one push of the button. $120 right there. I had another amazing run on another slot machine.

Then I took $100, bet it all on black on one spin of the roulette wheel, won it, cashed out, and played craps with Jack Wagner. Okay. So then, I was like, as a joke, I was like, so, like I said, we mentioned at the top of the show,

let's put them up, let's put them on the screen. Tyson Fury, the absolute lad. As I mentioned, the MGM was filled with British boxing fans. Come to see this absolute master class in legend. Tyson Fury, the new WBC heavyweight champion of the world.

So I was just like, not that much, but I was like, more money than I've ever won in a fucking casino. So I was like, I'm going to take all this money that I've won gambling for Bernie Sanders. And I'm going to bet it all on the white guy in a heavyweight boxing gym. I'm going all in,

like Uncle Jim's. And I said it as a joke, and then I found out today he actually fucking won. So I was this fucking close to, you know, cashing out and, you know, donating all that money to charity. So I was this close to having a genuine Uncle Jim's moment

and then being shot in the face. I know, you got to follow it. Spoiler alert. We flew here on Spirit Airlines, so we would have definitely died. Yes, absolutely. But I said uncut gems. We call it Uncle Jim's around these parts.

We call it Uncle Jim's here in the trap house. And just before we break for intermission, I'd like to share with you guys a little bit of breaking news. Felix, as of today, is officially an Uncle Jim. And

by that, I mean his sister had a child. You just John Cena the fuck out of that. Will, you just John Cena the shit out of that. The most beautiful thing a sibling can do for another sibling is to turn them into an uncle.

Thank you. You got to have to start that EDM bad soon. Yeah, no. I mean, I have my retirement plan now. So you got to, like, learn how to build a beat. I can't wait till Lucy raises her daughter to bully you. She's taller

and louder than you. I mean, like, within five years. Yeah. So congratulations to Felix, who will officially be doing Uncle Magic. He will officially be doing real life Uncle Magic

to his beautiful niece. San Diego, stick around. We have another video for you in intermission. Get a drink, hang out. We will be back for act two. See you in a second. All right, San Diego, we are back. Still feeling good?

Still feeling good? Got some pop in the room tonight. I like it. It's hot. You guys are hot. Well, so, like I said, our first act, we sort of, we brought you to the present.

So let's get to the big news. What happened last night? Let's break down this amazing victory last night. Let's, uh, that's right. Let's talk about our boy Bernie, let's just throw up those results.

Let me see that. Let me see those beautiful data on the screen. So let's break down the, uh, the top three. So we got Bernie Sanders, obviously. Here's what I want to say about, about what Bernie did in Nevada. And that is

similar, you know, it's another caucus state. And similar to what we saw happen in Iowa, where there, there were these satellite caucuses that for some reason, uh, the Sanders campaign was allowed to cheat by reaching out and organizing, uh, those voters,

which honestly, I think maybe the FBI should look into. In Nevada, they had this, you know, like those satellite caucuses in Iowa were for people who were not able to caucus at seven o'clock in the evening because they were working like a 12-hour shift

at a meat packing facility. And these are mostly, um, community, immigrant communities, refugee communities, people who had never voted before. They were Sudanese, Nicaraguan, and Ethiopian immigrants. And every one of those satellite caucuses,

they are Pete territory. Yeah, yeah. Those satellite caucuses were a blowout for Bernie. And they were the thing that basically is the reason that he, he tied it in this stupid suck dick electors, the state delegate

elector count, which is now, by the way, to the extent to which anyone will ever know what the math or data coming out of Iowa was, Pete is now essentially ahead by Bernie Sanders by 0.5

eighths of a human being. 0.08, so eight hundredths. That's not a human... That's not a human being. They're tied in this stupid... It's rat-sized, though. That's that's what somebody without an

MBA qualifies for in South Bend. And of course, practically, it means that they have the same number of delegates to the Democratic Party. They have the same number of delegates in printing one of the popular votes by 6,000 votes. So, it was these satellite caucuses in Iowa

that broke the New York Times... They don't have the same number of national delegates. It's going to depend on the recount. But those state delegates, I mean, that's those satellite caucuses are what broke the New York Times election needle, like when they were still trying to tabulate the results of it. My needle.

Nevada had another interesting thing, which was these strip caucuses, which were similar that they were designed, they were set up in casinos all up and down the Vegas... And many ways also meet packing plans. Yeah. You guys got to pack them in and carve them up.

That's their business model. So, they were they were set up, they were designed for people who were working that Saturday morning. If you work within, like, a two-mile, two-and-a-half mile radius of the strip, you could go to these caucus sites in

the major casinos on the strip. And if you were a member of the union, or one of them, for instance, per your contract, you must be given two hours to caucus and get paid to do it. And your manager could not stop you from doing that. Believe me, they tried to.

They tried to tell people the wrong times. They tried to lie about it. It didn't fucking work. And these strip caucuses were entirely people who are mostly cab drivers or people who worked in casinos

on the strip. Yes. This is the the the Chapo trap house contingent going strong for Bernie Sanders. No. And wouldn't you know it

the Bernie Sanders campaign and his amazing organization in that state were once again, for some reason, the only candidate who tried to organize these people to get out the vote. And guess what? It worked again.

Five out of the seven five out of the seven strip caucuses went for Bernie Sanders and one of them was a tie between him and Biden. That's five out of the seven went overwhelmingly for Bernie Sanders. We were

all taking the lead. It worked for you. Matt Chris and I in Amber and that was the strip caucus at the Balagio casino and we got there after the they had just been let out.

We walked in and we saw on the whiteboard the actual math, the raw shit, the real data. Two thirds went for Bernie Sanders. It was a fucking landslide for him and the only other one Biden, he got 19 delegates, Bernie Sanders got 32. And the thing is though, every one of these big casinos, and the people who showed up to these strip caucuses, almost entirely

were members of Culinary 226. So much for all those horrible attacks on their leaders that was going to, yeah, no, what this showed overwhelmingly is that despite the fear mongering about it, despite the gin-dub bullshit pseudo controversy about people online attacking leadership of these unions, the rank and file of these unions want Medicare for all. They want Bernie Sanders. And this idea that, oh, it's going to take away their union healthcare that they all fought and all like so much. The thing is, I'm sure they do like it. It's nice to have to feel that security. But if you live in a world, and this doesn't matter if you're in a union or not, or any employer backed health insurance that you may or may

not have, you may have it now, but if you live in a world where you can still get fired or laid off, you may not have it tomorrow. So you think maybe these casino workers could see beyond themselves and think, hey, gee, maybe my friends and family should have the same healthcare security that I take for granted through my job. And remember, national single payer free at the point of service, healthcare free pharmaceuticals, free dental, free vision is better than every single union health plan in the country. Thank you so much for that. I mean, the other thing about the culinary union thing is like a week before, there was this big thing about like, oh, who are they going to endorse? Bernie

Sanders supporters are attacking them. They don't like Bernie Sanders because they're afraid of Medicare for all. The union leadership doesn't like it. They were like, oh, are they going to go for Biden? Well, he was coming off, what, fourth or fifth place in New Hampshire? So that didn't look like a certain thing, even though he definitely was their guy and probably if he had done it better in New Hampshire and Iowa, they definitely would have endorsed them. And clearly he was like the union leadership was telling people behind the scenes, yeah, he's our guy, support this guy. They ended up endorsing our goals. It was like an, it was even more craven than what the New York Times did. But here's the thing. It's not

craven. It's smart. You're right. You're right. Explain why. They are not sure who's going to win. It means that, I mean, the union makes an endorsement very early on, particularly in the primaries to try and endear themselves to a candidate with hopes that they will be spared the acts. It may not be the smartest thing long term. It may not be the most ethical thing, but it is a rational thing. Well, yeah, but the unions act on behalf of the maintenance of the union. When labor movement is healthy, unions act on behalf of the members. When labor is weak, they're just trying to keep the union going. So again, you just can't moralize this shit. What it means is not only does the union think that Bernie might

win, but that the union movement is starting to think ahead and not just in survival mode. And that is very exciting. That is very exciting. And so as silly as it sounds with holding an endorsement, that's a big dick move. They're not fucking on the first date. They are holding out. They're endorsing a hang in their kitten poster, and it's the smart thing to do. It's the smart thing for the union. It's the smart thing for the members. And it's a good sign. Do you think it also might have been that the leadership was very well aware that their members were going to go big for Bernie Sanders and they didn't want to look like they were going against that they had no control over? I don't know enough about the culinary union

to say for sure, but even the kind of most hollowed out unions know that they rely on member dues. And they know that they least, at the very least, have to seem like they're not fucking their members worse than the bosses. That's the only way to survive. Again, maybe not the most politically forward thinking thing, but there's a rationale to it. I think there's probably something to that. And I think the fact that people are overwhelmingly in support of Medicare for all, particularly even people who already have health care through a union, I think there you know which way the wind is blowing. And we welcome them to the hall. It's good. It's a good thing. Yeah, endorse your goals and your hopes and

your dreams and your vision boards and whatever. Yeah, that's good. That's good. We know what you're doing. Good for you. Can we see the slide of all the groups that Bernie Sanders won in Nevada? All right, the second line here. This gets into our number two spot winner, Joseph Robin at Biden. We see he did win the black vote in Nevada by about 12 points. He won 65 and older by 10 points. And then my favorite opposing single payer health care plan by six points. So he's got the anti Medicare for all vote sewn up. Look, I have one issue. It's very esoteric. So yeah, let's look at all the groups Bernie Sanders won. Do you think that might look like the unity candidate to you? I don't know. Seems pretty convincing

to me. Here is the craziest stat about the groups who voted for Bernie Sanders. The youth vote and that's like under 35. He won. What is it? 78, 85, 45% of 45%. I'm sorry. Under 45, it was 73%. Under 45. Yes, 73% of the under 45. I think I saw something that said under 35 was like closer to 80 or 90%. So either way, that is that is astonishing. I mean, it is undeniable the youth of this country are behind Bernie Sanders, almost 100%. There is no other candidate. It's not just the youth. 30 to 44. It's not just the youth. Really, if you don't piss a little when you sneeze, you're in favor of Bernie Sanders. Bernie literally won everyone in every demographic. That's not a senior citizen. There is some

overlap there too. And he also won an outright majority of Latinos. Yeah, 51%. 51. According to the entrance poll, 51%. By the way, that's because of Russia. Yes. We're going to talk a little bit. We're going to talk about that in a little bit. All right. So the number two guy, Joseph Biden. I mean, and by the number two guy, I mean, like he's the only one that got delegates out of this caucus. Even his avatar is saying, come on, man. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's a really good rendering. That's like, that's him after someone's like, you weren't ever arrested in South Africa. Oh, wait, Felix, tell me about this because you told me about this and I was very high. So I'm like, that didn't happen. So it did. Joe

Biden has added a new thing to his repertoire before South Carolina. And it's inventing a story wherein he was arrested in South Africa trying to visit Nelson Mandela. What, like on spring break? It's, so I think there are a few iterations of it. He would have had to have been, yeah, like a Senator when he did it. Yeah. He, there's no record of this in South Africa. Like I'm pretty sure that would be a story. A U S Senator arrested visiting in prison Mandela. But it's, it is, it shows that, you know, the old, the old bitch still has some tricks. I'm telling you. Yeah. It's like no one, like no one's going to call him on this. Like I am, but I also just think it's charming. Like I like it. Listen, Jack,

I went in there, I went in there with that warden's office dressed like a sexy lady. And sure enough, we, he went in to kiss me and I grabbed, I grabbed the keys off of his belt while he wasn't looking. Now I hit him in the head with a crown molding and I tried to sneak him out, Jack, in my bustle. I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what. Now, now, now you see they had Nelson wearing a striped outfit with a little striped hat, breaking rocks. I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, Jack, my wife, Dr. Jill Biden and Dr. Jill Biden, she's the greatest. She, she baked, she baked a big, big apple pie with a, with a file inside it. And you, we just, we snuck it right in there to Nelson. And you know,

that's why he got out. Listen here, Jack, I seduced one of those prison guards I injected it with iron filings that he went into work the next day and Mandela used his Magneto's powers to suck all the, suck all the metal out of him and shatter the, the, the prison doors. You better believe it, buddy. Now a lot of people don't remember this and don't like to remember, think about what, what's going on, you know, remembering where it's going. But the movie, the movie Invictus takes place in Delaware as the first, first sitting youngest poorest member of Congress to play rugby for South Africa.

All right, so as Jill Biden finishing in a distant number two, the number three spot was a P Buddha judge after he declared himself on the night of the number two guy. He just can't stop doing it. He loves, he goes rat mode at every instance. He loves, I mean, just, I don't know. I'll just say maybe it's something in his resume or job training that 's taught him to preemptively declare himself the victor of elections before any results are tallied or they even take place at all. Felix, you were saying that like Pete's new thing now is that like, you know, after he comes in second or third, he just like gives a speech like he won and he's just like

for anyone who's questioning whether a mayor from South Bend, Indiana could put together a national political movement that could finish third in the Nevada caucus, you have your answer tonight. Yeah, it's big until you make it down. It's really good. Like you've seen those posts like where they're just like sort of engagement farming posts where it's like, it's like a hot woman will be like, who said bisexual women can't wear black lipstick? And it's like, I don't think like anyone ever said that. But Pete Pete's posts have the same thing where it's like, for all for everyone. And

this means everyone that said that a mayor of South Bend can't lead a national conversation about a new type of politics. It's like, I don't think anyone like specifically was like, dude, if there's a new type of politics, it's not fucking coming from South Bend. But he's defiant. He's a defiant third. He reminds me, he really is the Rubio this race. Oh my God. Yeah, fully. Yeah, Rubio has a weeping spouse that we never see. Yeah. Yeah. He like Rubio, if you remember the 2016 Republican primary, our favorite thing was watching Rubio's third and fourth place victory speeches. And it's just the same vibe. I mean, they really

are the same guy, the same like empty headed, the empty headed truisms every every loss. It's a, I don't know who our Chris Christie is, maybe Warren, but no, I'm not saying that. I'm not really saying that as like, I'm not really saying that as a dig at her, but it's like, what role does she fulfill? Like it's doomed and she's maybe trying to know she's super enthusiastic and would like try to hug Bruce Springsteen too hard. Yeah, she's like, he's onto something. She's like the slightly off brand version of the real thing. Like, yeah, it's like Aldi Trump, the one Warren is Aldi Sanders.

Yeah, I don't have an alternate take because unlike Rubio, Pete actually got second in a couple of places. That's true. That's why I think Warren is the Rubio of this race because last time around Rubio was just like eating shit all over the map and getting like third and fourth place. And guys like Chris, the fixal is it would be like, seems like Rubio is winning the establishment primary. He's got the moderate lane all to him. Yeah, sir. He won the Minnesota primary because like, like Cruz and Trump hoovering up delegates like that doesn't count. He won the Minnesota primary. Yeah, right. I predicted that. I specifically predicted Rubio winning the Minnesota primary

with no polling. And this time around, Warren is eating shit all across the map. Third in Iowa, fourth in New Hampshire with zero delegates and fourth in Nevada with zero delegates. But I mean, look, obviously, we got a good state for her with a large African American population coming up. So turning it around. But nevertheless, if you follow her, you know, dead end diehard supporters on the internet, not the ones who have already like just fact it. Yeah, right. Just saw the fucking numbers was like, Oh yeah, well screw this. They are giving her more money and saying actually she's winning. Yeah, that's the same as the rubios. Yeah, yeah, when the apocalypse doesn't come, the true believers double down

and believe even harder. Yeah, no, the prophecy has failed because we didn't believe hard enough. Well, yeah, so this brings us Sorry, one last thing. Marianne Ben Carson. Oh, damn. History does not repeat itself, but it rhymes. She's a sleeper. When she's secretary of housing and human development, the feng shui in those public houses. Perfect energy flow in every subsidized unit, man. So much natural light. Oh my God. Well, this brings us to we are so like those are the top three. And then now we get into what what Virgil Texas has dubbed a fail jail. The four, five and six spots beginning with Elizabeth Warren. Ouch. Yeah, folks, voters just continue to do a race shirt to her campaign. What they're

doing, the voters of Nevada did not center Elizabeth Warren and quite frankly, we should have a conversation. No woman president. No woman president. So here's my thing is that I just I mean, I came into writing sort of from a feminist direction because I was very interested in family welfare, which tends to come from a second wave kind of tradition of the conomistic and Marxist feminist. But here's the thing, we can't have a woman president or rather we can, but we just have to have socialism first. So if you truly want a woman president, you have to have a socialist president set the precedent. And it doesn't really that wasn't a pun. Don't laugh. I have a lot of them. That wasn't one of them. So I mean,

there's a lot of things to talk about with Liz here. I mean, like I said, I mentioned in the first act that she said on stage of the debate and then doubled down after and in comments directly after the debate that she is not even she's openly admitting that her path to the nomination runs through super delegates in a brokered convention. Yep. That's a good sign, right? Yeah. Saying explicitly, explicitly, I will I will I will have this nomination even if it guarantees Trump gets reelected. It matters more to me than I'm the nominee. If she wants to do that, I recommend she get some delegates. Yeah. Yeah, that would help. That would help. Oh my God, she's Tanya Harding. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm sorry.

She does not have. She tried to and then she still didn't win. And then she ran up and she's like fucking puts her skate on the thing and she's like and it doesn't work because the judges don't like her either. Now I'm just now I'm imagining Bernie except Tanya Harding was actually working class. And good at what she was trying to do. Amber, now I'm just all I can think of right now is just Bernie Sanders clutching his ankle and going why? Why? But here's the thing though. So like we said, Liz is I mean, you know, a week ago, she said Sanders campaign is built on a foundation of hatred. Okay, so she's gone fully blackfill. Oh yeah. And there's only one word for what's what's happening to Elizabeth

Warren and that is over the last few weeks. The evidence is absolutely undeniable. Elizabeth Warren has been joker fight. She's the damn Joker. She doesn't care. She'll burn it all down. If it's not going to be her, the entire thing can crumble. Trump can get a second term and put everybody in camps as long as she beats Bernie. Do you want to know how I got these cheekbones? You're you're awful, Murray. You played my DNA test video just to laugh at me. She really will watch it burn. She does not give a shit. And you saw this happen too. I mean, when they were doing the Ask Queen Khaleesi thing with Hillary, it was wrong. I've multiple people have brought this up. I think you've brought this up. My from

Patrick's brought this up. But the thing is, when they go Khaleesi with Warren, it makes way more sense because she started out with pure intentions. But ultimately she just wants the power. She just wants the fucking power. And you saw her make a decision. You saw her shift from like, look, maybe I'm a little out of my league, but you know, I want to be a force for good. And then she's like, but what if I knee capped Bernie Sanders by some bullshit sexism claim, and then I could be in charge of everything. But it didn't work because she's a moron. I want like going back to what she said, like after, you know, eating shit and do contests and said, Bernie's Bernie's campaign is built on a foundation

of hate. It made me think what actually is the Elizabeth Warren campaign built on? You can joke and say ill fated video idea given to her by the John save network guys. And that would partially be true. But really, can you pinpoint, you know, one issue, one idea, because it's the most all over the place fucking campaign. I have said, you know what her career is? Do you know what her career is? Though really, because I wrote a very early indictment of Liz Warren, when they were trying to endorse her or they were trying to sort of ever push her to run the draft Warren campaign in 2015. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. It was before Bernie even ran, by the way, just taking credit. But what it was, was corruption. It was, um,

he's cheating. He's cheating. Like that is the basis of her thing is that she is a fucking tattletale. But she's a lot of people are cheating. But instead of, yes, exactly. She's a fucking hall monitor. She's like, it is true that a lot of people are cheating. But instead of being like, well, what if we created a system where that was more egalitarian where people weren't suffering? She's like, no, I just want to scream at people for cheating. That's the entire basis of her career and her campaign. But it's, it's like, not even, she's even moved, moved past the cheating thing because like a year ago, it would have been like, yes, that can the campaign is about like the

idea that the system isn't really the problem, but we need like a better middle class buy-in for all this. But it's not even that anymore. It's this fucking bizarre direction where one second she's touting Amy Klobuchar to another, another second she's like doing a floss dance for a terrified group of children. It's, it's all over the place. But the only unifying thing is she should be president and her remaining supporters, they're only remaining belief. It's like the Hillary 2008 dentenders that just she alone can be president. Is it death cult? Yes. It's a cargo cult. They fixate on the academic thing of like, she is the most qualified.

Or she should be president. Therefore, some God hand is going to reach down and just make it so because it's what's fair. Here's the thing, you know, in her comments, leading up to and post Nevada caucus, like when she's tried to attack Bernie Sanders, she obviously can't attack him on his policies because like her, her whole campaign is built on the idea that she wants pretending to have the same policies. So what she says is like, I want the same policies, but I'm so much more than a guy that just yells. I like, I'm no, you're a woman that loses. Yeah.

No, and she's folks, I love women. I just like women that win. She has this whole line now where she's just says that like, she's trying to portray this thing that like the Bernie Sanders, he yells a lot. He's too angry and he won't ever really get anything done because it's just all about him, which is hilarious coming from her and particularly her supporters, or at least the ones online have gotten fully joker fight as well. Like they've gotten completely twisted. And the funny thing about that is like, oh, it's like Bernie's making it all about himself. He's trying to say that like, I'm the only one that can like fix your problems. Whereas with me, it's my, it's my plans.

My plans. She has no ego. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. I just got plans. Here's the thing though. It's from the Liz lads from the, the, the, the downfall, the bunker, the people in the bunker and downfall. What you get over and over again for someone who says, oh, it's

not about me personally, when they talk about why they like Elizabeth Warren or why she must be president, all they can fucking talk about is themselves and their personal connection that they have to her. Cause she's just like avatar of their life. She's every, she's every good quality that's been overlooked in them. And Bernie Sanders is every fucking bad boyfriend or father that they've ever had. Get over your shit. You are an adult. And I think the good news is that, you know, I think, you know, if, if, if this primary

season hasn't conclusively proved that Twitter is only a, just a kaleidoscope of unmeaning and like a fun house mirror world where like nobody's on it. Nobody gives a fuck. Nobody gives a fuck at all. Definitely not voters. Have the data. Yeah. Yeah. They literally, except you people. Yeah. No, and us because, well, four people on this stage too, but that's because it's

fun and we're hopelessly addicted to it. I spent a lifetime posting, you know, I go where the posts are. Like we said, she literally lost the poster vote in Nevada, two to one to Bernie Sanders, which has proved positive that if you're, you know, someone online, part of the, the Warren lads, and you've spent this whole time complaining about, you know, these uncouth Bernie bros or whatever, or Russian interference or whatever, whatever crap these people talk about online. And they think that's winning them sympathy from other posters. It's not. It's the, the

Bernie posting crew is the one that's actually converting people because one, the post, the post are great, you know, like way higher median, median quality of posts than any other candidate supporters. And two, because we're having fun. We're not joyless scolds. You're not fucking scolds. No one likes a fucking scold. So, and I do think too, one more thing, Bernie people know that we have to earn people's trust. Yeah. Yeah.

And, and Warren is just like, what? I'm here. Worship me. No, when you, when you read, when you read from the people who are like most sick and are aggravated by her failure to catch on in the broader electorate, there's this like plaintive tone of betrayal that like that nobody but them realizes how entitled, how perfect and brilliant and like what a great president she would be. And it's like, I'm like, you got to fucking make that case. You got to prove it. Yeah. They were erased.

Yeah. What a bunch of fucking snowflakes. She got erased. Okay. It's like when Bernie ran in 2016, like, you know, I, I fucking, I was all in for him. I still am. And like to a certain degree, that's kind of because I identify certain traits in him that I see in myself, like he's a grouchy asshole who like doesn't like people and is annoyed all the time.

Triple brand. But here's the thing though, like I understood that like we're like that didn't, when, when he lost the, you know, primaries or lost states or like it, the critical mass was never there. I was just like, well, okay, I get it. Like not all my interests are like shared universally. Certainly not in this fucking country. Not everyone gets it. Yeah. Not everyone gets it. I mean, they are now they're going to learn soon. They're going to learn soon again there. They're coming with us. You just need to not lose

the faith. Well, exactly. No, but you have to earn it. You have to earn people's trust. That's the thing is that you have to sing. You've lost that love and feeling to her at the bar. They don't think the politics that way. It is not a question of persuasion. It's a question of narrative and the more narrative satisfies them. It makes them feel happy. It makes them feel, uh, warmth in their belly, which is why the solution for these people and for the very good idea as well is that we should spend $100 million of federal funds, which is nothing

dropping the hat, uh, rounding your at the Pentagon on a daily basis, uh, spend that to make two super high production value, net value Netflix shows where Mayor Pete and Elizabeth Warren play the president like West Wing, and then you could just watch that show. Yeah. And then the rest of us, it's like, you're wealthy, you're a well off middle class person. Your life is going to be basically the same. You might pay higher taxes, but you're still going to have basically the same life. Either way, you can just watch the show and watch Elizabeth Warren be representing you as president and just shut your fucking mouth about any

of the actual politics. All they want is the culture work. Give it to them. Same thing with Trump. We'll take the economy. We'll take the economy. Same thing with Trump. All those people get salty if Trump loses and they want to start World War II, Second Civil War. You just do a Netflix show where Trump is president. No, you don't.

Which he would love to do. You don't think he would trade being actual president for being on a TV show where he's president? He would take that deal with a fucking heartbeat. Yeah, but only if it was HBO. Okay, fine. Well, we'll do it. Whatever. He can have prestige. Whatever thing he needs, however level of prestige he requires, we could do it. I would never do Amazon.

And then you've knocked, you've knocked like 30 million people off the voter rolls because they don't care anymore. They have their politics. They get to watch the TV show where their favorite guy is president. There is a third, there is a fourth complimentary program to this. And it's not really for the benefit of a population of voters, just for one man, a Truman show for Joe Biden, where he is president. See, I thought we could bring back fishing with John with Joe Biden. That's a great show.

I would, I wouldn't know if fishing with John owns, but I want the Biden Truman show so I can be his chief of staff in the Truman show. Good afternoon. Good afternoon. And who are you people? I'm like, I've been with you your entire career, sir. That would be a great, great capstone for both me and Joe. I would. Everyone has what they want. Highly enjoy it.

Would you just like show up on his doorstep and be like, hi, I'm your log lost nephew. Yes. Can I live in your, your spare room? Yeah. Oh, it would be a shame if somebody told me a story about finding some Coca-Cola bottles in their really long car and taking them on a date with a girl with the longest legs in town. This is what I'm talking about. We all have daddy issues, but this is how you make them helpfully.

Yes. You still vote for Bernie. Yes. Yes. Okay. All right. Well, we should, we should move on here because we'll start a little bit about the, the, the media reaction. So like, how are they going to deal with Bernie? And thus far, they keep cycling through like the same four or five things over and over again.

And that's exactly what they're going to keep doing now, but more and more histrionically. Case in point, can we play that Chris Matthews clip? Yeah. Which one? Last night about the fall of France in the summer of 1940. And the general, Renaud calls up Churchill and says, it's over. And Charles says, how can it be? You got the greatest army in Europe. How can it be over? He said, it's over. So I had that suppressed feeling. I can't be as wild as Carville, but he is damn smart. And I think he's damn right on this one.

So that's, that's Chris Matthews comparing Bernie winning to anyone's not a Photoshop of him into the Pulitzer prize winning picture of the guy watching the tanks go down the Champs Elysees going, here's the thing though. Here's the thing about this. People got very mad at Chris Matthews for this because it appeared like he was comparing for the second time, by the way, in two fucking weeks, it appeared like he was comparing Bernie Sanders winning to the Nazi invasion of France. But here's the thing. I'm going to, I'm going to give him a little bit of an out here because I know that Chris Matthews and everyone like him, basically the only thing he knows is World War two shit. It's like the only smart

or like only knowledge. Yeah, better late take off. I'll tell you about that one. It's just like, he's one of these guys, he's like Tony Soprano. The only like the culture and knowledge he knows about the world is what he learned on the fucking history channel about like, you know, Rommel history is greatest general. It's just, it's just shit like that in his head. So if he's looking for an analogy or something to compare it to, it's always going to be World War two. So like, what are some of the other things that have come up with this campaign really reminds me of project paper clip.

Jesus. Yeah, no, that actually is a good guy. It's a good comparison. All right. So the other thing is the other thing was what Bernie's medical records. Oh, he hasn't released enough of them. Yeah. Nobody who's clamoring for this is not a thing. There is no such thing. By the way, no one's business that he had to get dick and small and insertion. I love what I was such a thing is too big. I could not fair. I could not find a pair

of pants to fit. Not a cause anyway. I mean, I love the thing I love about the medical records thing, which yeah, by the way, not a thing is the idea that any of these fucking imbecile journalists would know how to read them. Yeah. Yeah, that's what you got fucking trained in. You can barely write and that's supposed to be your job. You're going to read medical records. Also because we do not have like a fucking actual database of health care the way say the NHS does. There's no such thing.

There is. Yeah. There's no such thing as medical records like a complete unabridged medical record for a single person does not exist. There is nothing that they're they're just saying, Oh, he hasn't released enough. Well, then just like as well, what hasn't he released? What do you want to see? I couldn't find like a compile by complete medical records. I've lived, you know, there are so many planned parenthoods that I've been to like I I'd have to call all of them. Also, what the fuck is the concern here? If he dies, it's like, OK, that could happen

to anybody. Is it like, well, he might have a xenomorph borrowed in his chest and they're like the state of the union is going to burst out and kill everybody. I got to say the track record for presidential candidates who have released personal genetic information has not been very good. Also, again, who have been our best presidents? OK, well, yeah, I'd like to see his full medical records. Alex said, yeah, we I mean, let's be honest, Lincoln has some kind of genetic thing, client filters or whatever. You're not supposed to be that tall back then he was. He had a bullet

in his head. All right, we got to keep him moving on these. We got to keep him moving on these. The other one that's coming up now is his his three houses. And this one is great because it's Michael fucking Bloomberg bringing it up. You couldn't even fucking you couldn't fit like you couldn't like you could have a scroll as long as the original on the road manuscript. You couldn't get to half of the fucking properties. This asshole owns. All right, the next one like this of the of the new ones because we all know about the Bernie Bros and all that shit and then the Oh, we honeymooned in the Soviet Union. Oh, yeah, he is. Oh, wait, wait,

wait till he gets in Glasgow era, Soviet Union. This is not like he was, you know, hanging out with Barry, you know, in Ljubljanka prison, just capping prisoners. Yeah, Bloomberg would have a lot to talk about with Barry. This next one is like this is the last truly the last refuge of the cable news scoundrel. And that is when people who were up until, I don't know, eight or nine months ago die hard, neoconservative or libertarian ghouls. These are people who like the Iraq war is line one on their like Hague indictment. These people are all saying now, you know, I'm a never Trump or but if Bernie Sanders is the Democratic nominee, I'm just, you know, I'm

speaking for myself and my 12 friends who are also war criminals, you know, also go to that armory, you know, I just think it's going to be really, it's going to be really hard for us to vote for the Democratic nominee if it's Bernie Sanders, to which I say, who fucking cares? Fuck off. No one asked you in the first place to go vote for Trump. Fuck off. Like, you know, you all did it last time. You're just lying about it now. So fuck off. Nobody gives a shit if you're on TV saying, oh, I'm not going to vote for the Democrats if Bernie Sanders is the nominee. What leverage do you have here? He's going to lose boat shoes, Rhode Island and fucking Raytheon acres, Northern Virginia. You'll you will lose me

and all my friends. Paul Wolfowitz, Dracula, Sidney Pollock from Eyes Wide Shut. He's going to get creamed as a little St. James primary. It's a very important satellite caucus. All right. Here's the new one though. And San Diego, trust me, if you think the media has gone insane leading up to this point, oh boy, oh boy, you are in for a treat in the next couple of weeks, especially if Bernie Sanders keeps continuing to win, which we know you will. It's they are going to do our jobs. If you and I do our jobs, if all goes according to his plan, if we're following the plan, which you all should be, they're going to go even more insane. And evidence of that is the new big thing about Bernie

is Russia. Russia is helping. Russia is interfering in the election to help Bernie Sanders, to which I say, you know, if that's true, good, I'll take all the help we can get. Yeah, who gives a shit? We fucking interfere in everyone else's elections. It's fucking about time. Yeah, thanks, people, judge. It's it's it. Yeah, it's amazing that anyone would interfere in your elections when you make the entire fucking world your business. Yeah. So Russia, hell, people in other countries should be able to vote for the American president. They should. Here's the thing. I would, I would like to take, I mean, like this was like a day before the Nevada caucus, the Washington Post came out with a fucking article about

how like, oh, intelligence has briefed the Sanders campaign a month ago that Russia is intervening on his behalf. And you read this fucking article. And just like all of the, I'm sorry, all the shit about Donald Trump in 2016, you read these articles until your eyes bleed. Try to try to figure out, try to find the paragraph or line where they tell you exactly how they're doing that. Yeah, well, they did. And you can't fucking find it. What are they doing to help them? Creating Facebook? Facebook groups? You're telling me that Ho-Taps for Trump didn't clutch the electorate 2016. I like that was actually a fun moment, though. I do remember when we figured out what the trolls were, and it was like, you

know, some guy in Siberia trying to figure out what a Ho-Tap was, which was adorable. And frankly, if you fell for it, you had a coming. So I like the Russian hell because who would you rather have on your side, the DNC or someone who knows how to win an election? I mean, yeah, when this is, when this is all done and Pod Save America is replaced by their Russian counterparts, Evgengy Evgengy and Evgengy. It'll all be worth it. So I mean, I feel like, you know, if you thought we weren't going to gloat tonight, well, you're listening to the wrong podcast. Yeah. If you thought independently produced podcast made up of six members, including their producers, some from Midwestern states and others from

New York and other major metropolitan centers couldn't come to this stage to gloat tonight, you are proof otherwise. Oh, I do want to say this one thing about the Russia thing. The Bernie campaign, you saw this on the debate, had the absolute smartest response to this. They sent out a press release where Bernie says, you know, and by the way, these Bernie bros I keep hearing about who are doing online hijinks, you know, maybe that's part of this Russian disinformation slot. I think I think you guys should all, if you're a true resistance patriot, you should look into this. You should be really focused on these two important things. Bernie bros are the only Twitter accounts that aren't

Russian bots, really? They're not Russian bots, too. It's really tried to sow discord at the Democratic Party. It's really good. Jiu Jitsu is I can't tell you how many times someone has accused me of being a robot. Just just they already think they're surrounded by robots. I mean, yeah, just an intermission right now. I would do the crossing my arms and kicking thing, but I'm simply too weak. It's a week until Super Tuesday. If you're a supporter of Elizabeth Warren or Pete Buttigieg or Michael Bloomberg or Joe Biden or whoever, the most important thing you can do right now is to go on Twitter and write down all the screen names of suspected Russian robots

and then share those around and make a slack or something or Robotniks, if you will, spend 15 hours a day doing that. That's the most important thing for your candidate in the home stretch. Yes, here's the thing. Here's the thing. I will definitely glow. And I think we all deserve to take another huge victory lap over this because as I don't know, one of the only fucking media platforms that never gave any credence to this Russia bullshit, even when it was directed at Donald Trump. It's true. Not only did I not give any credence to it. I ignored it entirely. I don't even understand it. I don't fucking care. We still do not know who left. All right. So check this out. We refuse. We will never.

I will never know who left. Motherfuckers. Promise to you. We will never learn. We will never learn. I can know he's fucking sells electronics on 57th Street. So Glenn Simpson forwarded an email to Lisa Page stating stating that Teddy fudge grams had knowledge of the email from your gangi Gwinklin. And that's just it's only it's only 10 p.m. Here's the thing though is like it's I mean you people on course it shouldn't but it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone of the I don't know Democratic to liberal progressive to left or socialist perspective that this Russia shit was always only going one place and that is being turned against you at the earliest fucking convenience.

Because what it is at the end of the day like we will talk about it. It's like the people who directed and have directed all of the Russia stories from the beginning are people in the I know it's now it seems like conspiracy because Trump and the Q&A it's saying but literally the deep state like CIA agents fucking NSA people like embedded bureaucrats in the national security infrastructure. Those are the guys who came out and said oh he's that to the Trump Trump he's butting up a Putin. They're the ones who dropped the time on the Ukraine thing because oh no Trump's holding up this weapons shipment to Ukraine. We need to get that to the Bobby are reenactment society and to the Osama bin Laden Brigade in Syria.

We can't allow this to happen. Like at every point these have all been directed by the intelligence community which means that you don't think they're gonna fucking turn out a fucking leftist alternative for president. Here's the thing. Russia has always been the Judas goat for the Democratic Party that they can you they can sacrifice and put out there just throw it out there to enforce discipline to cover for their own incompetence and failure but most importantly make sure that no one outside of like the establishment parameters ever ever gets put on in this country because they can always say Russia did it and what they say about what we're like when you try to parse what Russia is actually doing according

to these news articles they all say Russia is exploiting the distrust division and racism that exists in America to divide our country. All they're doing is describing the symptoms that are like the output of our political system that has been that way for like hundreds of fucking years. You're describing like that just like the state of life in this fucking country and say oh Russia did that. Russia's making it worse. They're saying this isn't fair because the chickens have come home to roost. Yeah it's a hundred percent March Simpson saying it's true but he shouldn't say it. Russians are wrong to point out all of these awful inequalities of crisis. I sowed. I didn't know I'd have to replater. So it is a it is

a cover for the Democratic Party for I'm sorry their own frankly right wing agenda. It is a cover for the right wing of the Democratic Party and it should not come as a shock to anyone that they're now accusing Bernie Sanders of being the beneficiary of some kind of nefarious Russian fucking plot. And you know it's bad because it's Russian and they're not human. Oh yeah and they're also communist as well. And so is Bernie Sanders. Yeah it's all thrown out there. Yeah there's an inhuman quality to it unlike when APAC does. I just part of the democracy. Yeah I gotta say it's it's I just can't imagine how any of this is gonna be received by a regular person who spent four years being drilled in their head by the mainstream

media that the Russians want Trump to be president and the Russians helped him get elected and are protecting him. And then they're like yeah but also the other guy he's running against him too. Well no I mean the narrative goes the narrative goes the narrative goes that Russian is helping Bernie Sanders because Russia wants the weakest general election candidate against Trump which is that I can say like what did they help Hillary Clinton to know. First of all Russians are actually good at chess. Yeah so no. And here's the thing as far as the general election goes and here's the other big thing that they're doing right now is they're trying to convince everyone that it's just too big a risk like Sanders will lose in a general election and the

Democrats are you know they're committing seppuku right now and the altar of purity and actually appealing to voters. You must never do that. Here's the thing though at the end of the day I don't care if he's a socialist whatever you the fuck you want to call him. Donald Trump won because he had the dumb luck of running against probably the most hated and untrustworthy politician in America. One of the most disliked people who were most widely regarded as like dishonest unlikable and corrupt for fucking good reason and I'm sorry you're telling me that when he runs against by every national opinion poll the most well liked and trusted politician in America he's going to get over on him. Sorry I don't give a shit. It's not going to happen. You should feel

fucking super confident about a general. I mean it'll be close like every modern election is but here's the thing. Oh America will never vote for a socialist. Bernie Sanders had the best fucking response to that during that debate. They said oh this poll said that 60 percent of America won't vote for a socialist. What else did the poll say? I'm winning. That's what the poll said. So the idea that America won't vote for a socialist guess what they already fucking are in Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada and California next South Carolina, California, Texas he's going to run the fucking table on it so don't tell me that Americans aren't going to vote for a socialist because they already have. Yeah they continue to vote for him. I honestly think the

underestimation of American voters by kind of a right-wing middle class of a democratic party is one of the most absurdly out of touch things you see in a modern country because if they were smart they would at least lie about what they're trying to do because they aren't even trying to trick people anymore into believing that the institutions that they represent actually support the policies that people are in favor of. I mean they've done this study like millions of times where they're like well you know we've polled major media outlets and politicians on how they feel about basic social democratic reforms. Medicare for all, childcare, free higher ed, expanding public housing, all kinds of stuff. All of the people in charge all of the people who consider

themselves themselves the gatekeeper of the left wing of politics are to the right of the average populace. It's almost like that's how they got there. Yes the thing that makes the thing that the leadership consoles themselves with is the idea that well there is an electorate that you have to deal with and that's unchanging you know it's like the richest half of the population they're the only ones who vote which means they're largely well off they're largely suburban they don't want to pay too much taxes they want to control over their schools all that kind of stuff and so they're inherently reactionary even though half the population doesn't vote and of course the Bernie thing is hey get those people involved and James Carville was on TV melting

down after Nevada last night and said I'll tell you what what are you going to do you you don't just say you're going to spend the electorate you include them all voters that that's like believe it ain't a climate denial that's ridiculous that that's like being that's like being a blind crocodile in the head house they're so mad they're so mad that they never even considered it the reason that they say that is because they have made it their business to ensure that everybody who's run for president is a democrat in the last 40 years has nothing to offer but fucking mayor Pete level bromides and horseshit was like of course people have turned out they have nothing to fucking engage them with but fucking Nevada is an example that that doesn't

have to be the case the number of people we heard about who literally never voted before and showed up to fucking caucus which is way harder and more annoying than voting was absurd not only showed up to vote but people who showed up to like figure out the caucus system better than any political professional and become precinct captains and fucking like running a whole fucking caucus I mean these are our people these are failbrained internet people all right San Diego we got we got to wrap it up for tonight before I go I just want to say please please keep making them mad keep making them mad you're you're doing it you're doing it so like I said the state of the race now we've got South Carolina coming up next it is very

close between Biden and Sanders Biden just got the big Jim Clyburn endorsement in South Carolina Biden definitely has the uh I don't know like the institutional support the buy-in he has the buy-in of the of the South Carolina political system he does not have the organization he does not have the organization anywhere close to what Bernie Sanders does so let's keep fucking going keep going Sanders is on the verge he could win the first four states he won the first three which is again has never happened before and if you're looking for a fucking exclamation point I mean South Carolina would be it so like I said the plan is working if you keep working we canvass in Nevada keep doing it and here's the thing California is really fucking important

Bernie Sanders cannot just win California he has got to run up the score he has got to blow out California the way he just did Nevada do you do you want your the shitty desert state next door to look better than you guys you know that's right you gotta he the polls look good but keep pouring it on them pouring it on 30 20 30 point blowout all the fucking delegates go to Bernie Sanders and that way they have no shot of even fucking with him at the convention so to that end to that end to that end this I think the San Diego for Bernie people are tabling here at the event tonight if you haven't done so already please sign up with them give you your social security number brothers made a name name of your first pet all that good

shit all your passwords whatever you're doing you could always do more get on those phones canvas in San Diego canvas in South Carolina if you can get on a plane to South Carolina Southern California Northern California California it's all there for you to take you guys just got to do it and keep fucking doing it San Diego you guys have been awesome tonight one more one more thing one more thing before we go we always have to thank the man behind the ones in the twos Chris Wade let's give it up for him and and and let's also give it up for Chris Wade's mom and uncle in the audience tonight San Diego San Diego you guys rock we're chopper trap house good night let's fucking win this thing

I took her out it was a Friday night I walk alone to get the feeling right we started making out and she took off my pants but then I turned on the tv and that's about the time she walked away from me nobody likes you when you're 23 and I show more of these my tv shows what the hell is abd my friends say I should act my edge