Chapo Trap House - 408 - Death is Not the End (4/7/20)

Episode Date: April 7, 2020

The Dry Boys discuss the news of the day: Boris Johnson's hospitalization, that navy guy's firing, embracing the sweet death of coronavirus for the eternal glory of leader Trump, Bolsonaro on a trampoline, that sort of thing. Please consider giving to the Emergency Release fund to bail out prisoners in NYC jails: https://emergencyreleasefund.com/

Okay boys, well let's kick it off here, Chappell for the week, original three, me, Matt and Felix, what's going on gang? You know, pacing around the apartment on Zoom calls, playing 16 hours of Counter-Strike a day and not really getting any better at it, getting deep into the world of This Is Us. Well, Felix, you say apartment though, but like, you know, we should probably promote the fact that we are on the Choppid COVID tour right now, you know, we're going state by state, just in one step ahead of this horrible plague.

But we've left New York and we're taking the show on the road. Yeah, that's right. We are right now, we're actually on a cruise, we're traveling, we got, you know, we went to the six, we went to the six by party bus because like in these grim times, you really have to like keep it moving, keep everyone motivated, give people stuff to get excited about. Then we got on a cruise going from Lake Erie all the way to Detroit. That's right, the home of Hard Rock.

I mean, I just think it's important to like, you know, we're in obviously, you know, we started out in New York City, which is like, you know, the hardest hit place in the country right now. But I think it's important to know, let the rest of the country know, like sort of what we're facing, but do it, you know, sort of in a face-to-face, you know, road shows, all context. Yeah. And these shows are awesome.

They're in the living room only. It's just fucking awesome to see like, even with this shit, people are still coming out. They're still vibing. I've seen a lot of people like, I've seen like, just the energy at these shows is so good. I've seen people come in, total strangers, they're making out their finger blasting each other. And that's really what it's all about at the end of the day.

And you know, you, you'd think that they would be reticent about jumping into the fondue jacuzzi, but nope, they go right in there. No, that's the reason we got it. We got it because we want to bring people together. It's like Donald Trump and Democrats, they're all trying to tear us apart. They want, they want us to be different. They want us to like, stay home, feel bad, and we're bringing people together. That's how we're going to beat this thing.

Exactly. This is like... I've seen, we've seen so many people take their grandparents to the show. It's so awesome, dude. It's about, it's about community. It's about, we're providing a community space to come together all over this great nation of ours, you know? And it's like, I gotta say, these venues, they're being super nice with us, man.

I mean, they'll do anything, honestly, to get some people in the doors today, and we're getting great deals on this. It's just, you know, we're making money. We're cashing out. Yeah, I want to be honest. We're making so much. We're making so much money. We're traveling the country again.

We're out of the house, and it's just like, we're getting a good message out there. So that's what's important for us. It feels so good. It feels so good. I mean, I personally don't feel all that good. I mean, I have a little bit of a cough at the moment, or have since, you know, the week or so we've been on tour, but other than that, things are going great. I have been, I've been doing the double dip, you know, the Diary of Amit, and that's like

not the best, but it just, that's the road lifestyle, dude. That's the road. That's what pro wrestlers talk about. That's what, like, my favorite hard rockers, like Aerosmith, Counting Crows, Trap, that's what they talk about in their books, have you ever read those? So, it's really, I'm just like very humbled to be part of this tradition of being a rock and roll road dog. It's the way of the road, Bubs.

The way of the road. The way of the road. Well, you know, I guess maybe we could start off on this one. I know, Matt, I know you've been betting that no evil person will die of this pandemic, but- That's been my model so far, yeah. Yes. Your model is about to be put to the test though, because Bojo has just been moved into intensive

care. Oh, no. So, if you had- Oh, prayers up, fam. Yeah. Can we get, yeah. We've got some blessings going for Boris Johnson, who, two weeks ago, basically originally said the UK was going to go with a herd immunity strategy of just basically letting the virus

run rampant through its council of states and sort of pensioners, and hopefully none of the royal family. But they're like, yeah, after a million or so people die, like, you know, we'll have an immunity to it. We can just get on with the old stiff upper lip, the spirited Dunkirk, and then made a point at a press conference of talking about how he's still shaking everyone's hand. Yeah, he might- Yeah, and he had another-

There's another weird thing, and people, like, glossed over it, like, the hand-shaking thing. It was just like boring culture worship, but he also talked about, like, eating a lot of old women's pussies, and they've actually all died. It says- I know that's, like, a thing in their culture, but, like, Jesus Christ. I know we said- I know we said we would never talk about the UK again, but, like, people don't know when

you're Prime Minister once a week you have to have tea with the Queen and eat her pussie. Yeah, it's crazy. It's really nuts, and it's- I mean, I want to criticize it, but it's honestly, like, part of their culture, so- I mean, it was a big- Like, it was sort of a big deal about, like, all the, you know, hysteria over, like, oh, what if Corbin becomes our PM or whatever? People forgot he doesn't do that.

He's going on record as saying, like, yo, that shit is- That shit is Fufu Saus Fugezi, though. And he- Yeah. He wouldn't have- He wouldn't have eaten the Queen's pussie. I think it's- He'll be fine, though.

In the UK, they're known for their high-end leeches, liniments, unguents, all that stuff. They've got all the best of it. Eye of Newt. They've got better eye of Newt than anybody in the world. They are- And, like, people talk about it like, oh, there's been a brain drain from the UK. You know, the people aren't coming there anymore. But they're alchemists or something the best in the world.

Absolutely. Yeah, working in the tradition of Newton. They're doing a great job. Yeah. I mean, like, a third of parliament, like, everyone remembers the crisis of 2010 when a third of parliament died from drinking molten silver. But they've actually come a long way since then. And also, like, people wouldn't be- if those guys had actually achieved immortality, like

people said, I don't think you'd be making fun of them. So this- if he does die, it will either prove that there is not a secret cure that rich people get, or that they all agree to sacrifice Boris so that the rest of us wouldn't suspect that there was a rich person cure. I disagree. I think there's a third option. If he survives, and he will for this reason, it's because he carries the mighty soul of a Turkic warrior, of a Yea riding along the river Bosphorus.

Well, if he gets put on the ventilator, it's 50-50. And friend-o, I like those odds. I love the idea of, like, cleaning out Boris' ventilator, because there's just got to be like, like, three pounds reserve of gravy in his respiratory system. Gravy versus your sauce. Yeah. Yeah. All that stuff.

What's your job? Oh, there's an entire Yorkshire pudding that congealed in Boris' respirator that I have to clean out. Um, I got to say, guys, the thing that's keeping me going right now is the Ghani's Funeral Guy meme. Oh, man. That's a good one. Honestly, that one.

You really need that one right now. And whenever I see those guys just sort of strutting up, strutting up that whole casket on their shoulder, doing their thing, I feel good. It's a good time. It's a good time. Just the thought that, like, you know, if any of us were to somehow die of the corona, at least we know in our final moments is the ventilator whizzes away that, hey, at least there's going to be an epic Ghani dancing funeral meme made about us.

Yeah, someone will do a video with a little clip, all of this shit that we just said about making fun of Boris Johnson down there and queue it right up, go smash straight into the Ghani's funeral guys. Yep. I mean, God, do you think about the work that they're going to get once this blows over? You know what I mean? Those guys are good. Those guys.

Richer than Masa Musa by the end of this fucking thing. Masa Musa was, yeah, he, a lot of people don't know he was actually like, if you adjust for inflation and size of the economy, like he was the richest man in history. And he invented the Bloomberg Abacus. That's why. It couldn't suck you off, though, because that hadn't, that hadn't been invented until like 1970. Yeah.

Nobody thought that it was a thing. No, that's another episode we're doing. We're doing a historical deep dive where we expose that Felicia was invented by the U.S.S., the way to keep men docile as part of Gladio. Actually, like, I feel like someone had to ask you about this, because this is, this is something that happened the other week that I was like, what's going on here? Or like, I couldn't quite follow it. Did they do like a pseudo coup to Bolsonaro in Brazil?

No one's really sure on this. It's a little weird. So Bolsonaro has like sort of a feud with his health minister, who's way more popular than him. I mean, he was going to fire him, but he didn't, and like, that seems like something that the military would be like, no, don't, no, you fucking idiot, it'll like destroy your cabinets and do your government's legitimacy. But it's also possible that he's just like, oh, he's way more popular than me.

But I mean, I could see it. I could see the military being like, you fucked everything up. Like you have coronavirus. Literally everyone you've ever met in your life has corona. You can't even do a push-up. And that could, that's possible. I mean, the Brazilian military is also incredibly incompetent, but also so is Bolsonaro. So it's a tough nut to crack.

I'm going to lean towards yes, because it's funnier. And also like Matt said this earlier this week, it would be, he would welcome just like them deposing him. Like he's fucking miserable. Oh, absolutely. He's so miserable. The guy used to demand the return of military rule, and now that he's in charge, it's not like he thinks he's doing a good job.

No, he's like, oh, thank God. He's never been unhappy or like this is the shittiest time of his life. It's like, yeah, like some guy with mirrored sunglasses and epilots is going to like march him out of the presidential palace to a firing squad. And he's just going to have like a what me worry shirt on and like a big thumbs up grin. Yeah. He's going to wear a shirt with a bullseye on it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And those Brazilian military officers will still miss if yeah, no, they will. Yeah. No, they're going to ricochet 38 bullets and kill like a seven star general that bull scenario. Yeah. If they did the helicopter flight, first of all, he would try to check in 24 hours before

like it's a jet blue flight. But also they would somehow like crash the helicopter into a bouncy castle. I was going to kill all of them. They would push him out of a helicopter, but like somehow he would just hit a giant trampoline and then just bounce back into the door of the hell of it and helicopter being like, hello. It's me. Yeah.

Just be like making that grim bull scenario face while bouncing all over the place. He'd be like, I can't even die. Right. That's the sound he's making when he makes that fucked up grin. You know what though? Opposite of the soy noise. Yeah. That's true.

That's it. So yeah. The soy noise, the Trudeau noise. Yeah. Yeah. The bull scenario noise. Just like angry, anguished groan. How pissed are guys like him and Trump that this shit is happening?

They're not why they wanted to be presidents or in charge of anything. They just wanted to be like, they wanted to like meet the Hamburglar. That was the whole reason they became president. Well, yeah. The entire reason bull scenario ran for president of Brazil was like, oh, I'm going to make it so there are no more gay college professors. He's a man entirely born out of like boomer memes where there's like a gay college professor who makes his students atheist.

And then he gets in there like, oh yeah, you have to talk to the logging guys and shit like that. He doesn't like this. He doesn't like doing any of this. Bull scenarios are like, they're far dumber than the Trump. So imagine what a bad time they've been having. Yeah, that is, that's, that's, I like to think about that. That's great.

Speaking of generals, I said, I want to talk about this. My other favorite news story this week was like the Navy, like just shit canning that guy on that aircraft carrier and then giving a speech or they were like, yeah, that guy sucks. He was a pussy. That's so funny to do. It's so funny. It's so funny for like the secretary of the Navy, for the government, for the executive

branch to be like, what's the official business today? Oh yeah, the captain of the ship's guy, the guy, the guy insisted because people were saying, oh, Trump had this guy fired for writing a letter about how he's concerned for strups because of the virus or whatever. And they said, and the guy said, no, I did that. The president didn't say to fire him, but I was worried that the president was going to get mad at me for not firing him. So I did.

No. Like they like, and they even gave like an address to the guy's fucking like, uh, to his, to his sailors or semen or whatever where they were like, yeah, like, you know, you know that guy you've all been like saluting to and like respecting and honoring. Like, yeah, he was, he was a huge pussy, but he sucked, dude. He sucked. I don't know why you guys, we were even saluting him in the first place. What are you guys doing on this boat, man?

I love, I love, I love, I love, yeah, I bet he, I bet he made you guys fuck each other. I love, I love that the Trumps have now, the Trump administration has now given us like a dumb guy version of the Cane Mutant New. Yeah. Yeah. Um, no, instead of around the Horn of Africa, uh, they were talking about around the Horn, the ESPN show. Yeah.

Uh, no, but like, yeah, that guy captain, uh, captain Crozier or whatever is like, because he simply just wrote a memo being like, uh, there's 200 people infected with coronavirus on my aircraft carrier. Can you please help us? We're trapped in Guam right now. And they were like, you fucking bitch. Why don't you figure it out, dumbass? Yeah.

Why don't you keep your fucking mouth shut? Now, the secretary of the Navy guy said like either he was, uh, either he thought he was going to like, you know, make a political statement with that memo or he was too dumb to realize otherwise. Either way, he's too fucking, he's too fucking, he's too much of a simp to be in charge of a nuclear powered aircraft carrier. So get the fuck out. And there was even news footage of him like lonely, like, like just morosely walking down

the gang plank by himself, walking off an aircraft carrier of like 20,000 people or whatever. Yeah. And they showed the troops all like clapping and cheering him and everything. And then the guy shows up two days later and he's like, yeah, that guy fucking sucks. That was awesome. That's so awesome to do. It's not like they're, it's like they're, they're trying to make a military coup happen

against themselves. They see what's happening to Bolsonaro and they're like, can we get this done? I would love for some guy in a uniform to tell me that I don't have to look at these fucking charts anymore. I do not understand at all. He would be, he would be so relieved if the military deposed him. Oh my God. So relieved.

He wouldn't have to like worry about the stupid election. He wouldn't have to do anything anymore. Like, like he would make a deal with the military where like he's allowed to just basically go back to being Donald Trump, but Don Jr. has to face a firing squad. Oh, but he would sell them out in a fucking heart. It's a great deal. It's a great deal. Folks.

I still have one the son. I've got a son in law. I've got Jared and Eric and Baron. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you lose some on the way, but it's never your best asset. Like there, yeah, he would make some deal where they, they turn Jared into Prometheus where a drone rips off his fucking liver every day.

And he's like, sorry, sorry, it was a, you know, they had me on the ropes, but we made it out. Thank God. We all came out of it. Okay. Except for Jared. But he had to say it. Sometimes, sometimes you got to sacrifice for the deal.

Sometimes you got to cut off your weakest, your weakest link and then Trump could do the thing that he's always wanted and like get Tom Brady to marry Ivanka. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Um, you know what, you know what Trump's like, you know what he was going to try to do before this? I bet he was probably going to try to get Tom Brady back to the Patriots.

Yeah. Folks, I got to make him an amazing deal. Talk to my good friend Bob Kraft. Yeah. And then this crap happened. Yeah. He was on the verge of securing a second term. He was going to win Massachusetts, the first Republican since, uh, since rich, uh, since

what Reagan? Yeah. Reagan and 84. Yeah. 84. Yeah. No. Yeah.

They, that was going to be his new deal. Yeah. It's going to be his legacy. The Brady deal. Uh, no, no. Felix, when you said he'll turn Jared into Prometheus, um, I didn't know that you meant like the Greek myth where like a vulture eats his liver every fucking day. I thought you were talking about the, the film Prometheus where he would turn him into

one of those sort of navigator aliens or something. That'd be a good job for Jared. I mean, he's been studying. We're going to send him to Mars and he's going to, he's going to, he's going to see the whole planet with his DNA. We're going to create new guys in Mars for Jared. I would, I would love to know what Jared's research research on COVID is because I bet it includes like 28 days later.

That was amazing. Did you guys see him at the, at the press conference where they asked him like what was the deal? And he was just like, well, uh, we were looking to get all the data and the president was very concerned about data. And he wanted us to look for all the data. So we had to do data and we did a lot of data and I'm very proud of all the data we did.

Jared is like, you know, is he even like an actual cabinet appointee? No, he is no job. No. He's just like, he's just no official job has been given the Middle East, like like Israel Palestine crisis, he's been put in charge of that, he's been put in charge of like economic recovery and now the global pandemic. Yeah. He's doing a great job at all of those things.

Remember when he secured me these piece last year, you were too busy vaping your bong to know if he fucking solved the Middle East. Have you seen any wars in the Middle East since then? No, I think so. So the most insane, like everyone, everyone has a moment with like Trump people where like this is a fucking cult, but I think like the clearest one I saw was actually this week because Michelle Malkin made this tweet that was like, we're all in agreement that like Jared fucking sucks, right?

That he's bad and stupid and doesn't know anything. And then all these like, you know, the suburbanized hair, the one shade light brown, one shade blonde. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I spent all my free time in Panera hair. Like the platinum four rocks and then like brown behind it. Yeah.

Exactly. Exactly. Literally thousands of replies that are like, I like Jared, he's doing the impossible right now. Wow. That is more cuck that I thought you could be as a human. Holy shit. That's the most cucked you could be.

Like even like, even the biggest Trump sick offense, like the only people that vibe with Jared, you know what? Actually, now that I think about it, the online pro Trump strip base, they obviously hate Jared because like they're like edgy, like alt-right or new right people and they're like Jared's a fucking globalist, Javanka is a globalist unit. But now that I think about it, all these people replied to Michelle Malkin. They were like just like fucking longbrained suburbanite moms. What if like Trump's base likes Jared?

It's very possible. I mean, they're dumb enough. They're dumb enough. And it's like, if you're like an idiot suburbanite, they're like, oh, look at this really thin guy in a suit. He's taken care of everything. He'd be like, yeah. He's going to repeat for Trump people.

That's exactly right. That's exactly it. That's exactly it. It probably is like the majority opinion in like the actual Trump base, not online. Yeah. The older ones, like, oh, he reminds me of like what my wish my son was like. No, he's like, if you can make my son one fifth of the whip, he would be like Jared. And by the way, have you guys noticed that Jared has like a new face this week?

Or he's debuted a new sort of skin. It's like very taut. He's looking wildly taut. Yeah. He looks like he's been like, he's been wearing a really high and tight Ariana Grande ponytail for 25 years approximately. I mean, I know we've, you know, we've, we've ragged on Jared in the past, but like he is, I guess the US government's point man for our, you know, I guess the federal government's

response to a, you know, global pandemic that's currently like, you know, just, just raging throughout, like just spreading rapidly in America's population and seemingly nobody has any idea what to fucking do. And this was a guy who prior to this gig, his big innovation was like changing the font of the New York observer to a slightly larger size and then not selling a building on Park Avenue. Yeah, but then he somehow we figured out a way to sell it. So it was jokes on you for saying he's an idiot for not being able to sell his building.

All it took was for his father-in-law to become president and then all of a sudden Qatar decided that it was a good investment. That was amazing. That's amazing. So it's a very outdated, poorly ventilated building with really low ceilings that's nonetheless incredibly expensive, but the Qataris just decided like nowhere to go but up. This is going to be money maker for us in a real country. Can you imagine?

I know. Seriously. If we were not a joke, a practical joke country, I would just love that after this, if Jared became like a, you know, like, uh, he started, he just like sold his like wealth creation system, you know, like, uh, like on a commercial and you buy them and there's like 60 fucking hours worth of tapes and it's just him in front of a thing that has has have your father-in-law become president of the United States that it's like probably he was probably like a few years ago when he was trying to unload this burdensome piece of shit that he bought

for no reason, uh, like, so he was like probably pleading with some Goldman Sachs guy. How do I get rid of this? And he's like, I don't know. Your dad becomes fucking president. Yeah, wait a minute. Speaking of the Trump family, uh, have you guys seen Barron lately? He's like, he's, he's growing at an exponential rate. He's taller than Trump now and Trump is like over six feet tall.

Barron is getting to be like, yeah, Barron is getting to be like, you know, decambé metombo height, but like he keeps growing. He's just gigantic. He's simply gigantic. They're giving him some kind of super soldier serum. Like, seriously, they're, they're, they're training him to be like, yeah, he, he's going to be the Cossack Hot Rock. Like they're doing experiments with Barron.

He's like, there's something going to come with Barron. The simulation is, is rapidly accelerating and it's, it only leads one direction. I gotta say, I mean, we, we did joke about Barron being, yeah, like the God emperor, but when you see a what, how old is he 14? I think he's seven feet tall. Yeah. This is clearly, this is, yeah, this is a world historical figure. He's like Peter the great or something and he will clearly like rule the afterscape.

I don't think there's a question about that. He laughed at Mike Cernovich when he said of Barron that he has like a special energy that he can see in his eyes. Once again, give it, give it to the gorilla man. He was correct. He was right. Give it to the girl. He was right, man.

What do the tropics do about, what do the tropics do to coronavirus? Maybe they're the key to everything. Yeah. I mean, okay. What is it on anything? Barron, Barron is, I think Barron is going to be like a Frederick the great type. Yes. Absolutely.

The thing that Frederick got in trouble for at the court when he was a kid, not the same thing. Barron, it's going to be like, he was talking to like, you know, a girl with an anime avi on discord. Yeah. Instead of being forced to watch his, uh, his boyfriend get executed, they're going to make him sit in the, in the, uh, in the West wing and watch as they smash his X box in the rose garden.

Yeah. We always saved files. All his saved games. Yeah. They're going to print out pictures of anime girls and shred them and like light them on his heart. Turn to stone. Yeah.

He will just become, he will become a fucking military mastermind. Oh, what is he? He will. Yeah. What is the, uh, I mean, uh, for any, any budding content creator now, now is your chance to be, uh, uh, Barron the great's full tear. Yes. His sort of frenemy.

Yeah. Get it. I was reading about Frederick and I was laughing that he was just like, that's just like the highest level of sexuality was just like, he didn't even want to like ever see a woman. It's just disgusted by them. You gross. Yeah. That's awesome.

Like he's like, that's like a jojoba folk joke people used to make that like gay men just like couldn't be around women, but it was true of like one guy and he was the king of brochures. Uh, speaking of, um, quack cures, um, what's that fucking like the, uh, the fishing fish tank cleaner shit that Trump people are drinking to say that you care of themselves right now? Uh, well, so there's a real thing that is apparently useful both as a treatment for coronavirus and maybe even as a prophylactic against like getting bad, uh, bad, re plot bad reaction to the first place.

Uh, and Trump talked about it, but apparently like there's different versions of it and like part of it is in something that is also in a, uh, fish, uh, tank cleaner. And of course, because Trump said, go take this stuff more than one person, just like heard the name, saw it on fish tank cleaner and drank it. Uh, well done master class, um, speaking of, uh, Trump sick offense that have, uh, become strangely prescient, uh, can we talk about bill Mitchell, uh, another guy we foolishly doubted in the past, but his, uh, his evolution over the last couple of weeks or something is very telling and it's very interesting, sort of like it points into a certain direction

for where we're all headed. And you know, you'll, you'll remind yourself that like, I guess bill Mitchell has been, you know, obviously like Trump's number one fan. And when Trump was saying it was a hoax, he was going all along with it and was, you know, we'd be tweeting stuff like eight million people die a year from diarrhea. Where's my diarrhea bucks? Give me my diarrhea money. Where's our diarrhea bailout?

Give it to me. You know, cause he was just saying like, you know, people die all the time. Well, this is crazy to shut down the economy, blah, blah, blah. Then he said, uh, a couple of, like, you know, a week ago, if less than 2000 people die, can we all agree that Trump is the greatest president of all time? I mean, I agree with that. Anyway, I mean, that doesn't matter every American can die and it's still accurate. Uh, yeah.

And then just, just a couple of days ago, he tweeted, uh, Matt, once again, you're making it happen. The, basically the, the Jim Jones white night speech where he basically just says, what's the big deal guys? Like death is just a veil. You're just like walking through a door. You just leave your body behind and just enter the next life. Nothing to be afraid of.

That was awesome. Who cares? That was, I love it. That was pretty cool, honestly. He, yeah, he turned into like, I'm pretty sure that's a line of dialogue from like Kingdom Hearts. It's sort of like a villain with a really sharp hair concept. Yeah.

It was, it was a cross between, uh, Jim Jones and the end of Videodrome where Debbie Harry's like, don't be afraid to let your body die and become the new flesh. Yeah. That is the best way to defend Trump. Just be like, die. When he, he closed that tweet by saying, maybe the dead mourn for us. That should be in Trump ads. That should be in Trump ads.

Dead. What? The living at me, the dead Trump 2020. It's so, it's so odd. Like to be, when you just place yourself like at an unmovable position, the Trump can't do anything wrong. The places you go are so awesome. Like Bill's, we've talked about Bill's Yahoo Answers page before and he does have like

the mind of a dullard. His Yahoo Answers were, could there be a bee big enough or one sting could kill somebody? Or like, how come they don't make condoms that only cover the tip of the penis? That's the best one. Like he's, that's the best question. He just like, he is like a result of like being blessed socioeconomically with when he was born and you know, when he saw employment in the world, he's blessed by having like some sort of like completely cotton candy brain given to him by asbestos and lawn darts.

And like he, what do you should be? He should just like a guy like that. You see a guy like that. It's like, oh, that guy probably gets some fucking leathery poon. Oh man. You know he does. You know he does. Yeah.

He for sure does. He like, he loves a buffet. He loves some fucking idiotic vacation to like on Kisville, Connecticut, because he says it's better than Vegas every year. Like he should just be living a pleasant life, but he's just so committed to this. He's like, death is a transitional stage. This world is temporal. You shouldn't cry for the dead if you truly believe you will not cry for the dead.

They mourn for us. He's going great. He's going places he never would have gone if he didn't get this into it. I mean, I would have never had those thoughts. But like here's the thing. It's just like he was ahead of the curve about Trump. He was right that like the polls were cooked. They didn't matter.

It was the real primary. The real numbers were in our hearts. He was your voice. He was correct. Yes. He was correct. Honestly, I'm not even being like ironic. Like he made us.

No, he was right. He made us look foolish in the last election. So I always looked to Bill as sort of a harbinger of things to come. And in a week in which, I don't know if you guys got the sort of alert on your phone, but everyone in New York City got like a flash alert on their phone at the same time that essentially said, is anyone here? Is there a doctor? Is there a doctor in the same house?

All right. Yo, yo, yo, you all know about medicine or anything? Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, anybody got some scrubs or some shit? Anybody watch scrubs? Anybody retain anything from watching the show scrubs? Yeah. Everyone in New York City gets a fucking a push notification that's like, hey, are you guys a doctor?

We could, I just love the idea that somebody who has just been watching this happen with total remove. Be like, damn, that sucks. Whatever. Not my problem. And then they see that. They're like, oh, shit. I do.

I'm a medical doctor. Oh, god damn. They forgot. They forgot that degrees. But that degree has been in a dresser drawer. It's like, well, like what happened? You didn't ever do a hospital internship and he's like, no, I just really got into like clash of clans.

You know, no, I just like, I started, yeah, no, the summer before I was supposed to become a doctor. I became a lifeguard and I really just developed like a passion for it. Just imagine like Ken Zhang is, is, is judging an episode of the masked singer and they get the alert and he's like, oh fuck, I actually am a doctor. Why am I doing this? Why am I on the masked singer when I could be saving lives? This is actually wildly irresponsible of me.

So yeah, we got the, we got the push notification just essentially doing the, is there a doctor in the house a bit? And then today I read that the New York City, New York City Parks Department is basically they are exploring avenues for digging mass graves in public parks should the hospital morgues fill up or hit capacity. So that's where New York City is right now. So I'm thinking about that in like- They do that for the flu every year.

You're brother- I'm seeing news stories about that. Yeah, no, so I'm thinking about that in terms of Bill's latest missive as a guy who is ahead of the curve, who's basically just kind of preparing us that like your body is a shell. Like this life is a dream and like the next one is real and like death is just a portal. So imagine you, imagine you are, you are bedbound with COVID. You feel your body giving out like you're getting lighter. You start feeling your limbs less.

A plague doctor comes in. He's wearing one of those beaked plague masks. Yes. He opens it up and he's like, Hey, it's Bill Mitchell. And he started, he starts humming along like a Captain and Neil song and then he puts a pillow over your face. That's the last thing you see. He's euthanizing you for Trump.

Yep. Yeah, that's, that's the way it's going here in New York. I suppose elsewhere in the country, we're recording this Monday night when you know Wisconsin definitely going ahead with their primary tomorrow. Definitely get out to the polls. Get out to the polls if you're in Wisconsin. But if you're in, if you're in Milwaukee, so many poll workers have quit. There's only going to be five polling locations in the entire city.

So that's okay though, because it's not like a big, it's not like a big convention. You go in there one at a time. You're right. You can maintain the 10 feet gap, which would essentially mean that you remember the lines before this shit started where like the lines back to back or like, I don't know, they stretched the length of Manhattan in some places. You know what I mean? Like it was a six hour line.

Yeah. Imagine doing that now with like six foot gaps in between anyone. There isn't enough space in the city of Milwaukee to fucking fit that line. It'd be like playing that snake game on your calculator, but eventually, you know, the snake would get too long and it would go into its own. In fairness to like the Democrats and stuff, this is the fault of the Republicans and Wisconsin Republicans are the most psychotic demons on earth. It is amazing how the Koch brothers were able to take over that entire state with just

like a couple of briefcases of apartheid era Krugerans and one ham sandwich chewing dullard, one of the dumbest men to ever live. And he's ruined that state basically forever. Like they've gerrymandered that place so well that like 40% of the vote basically has a guaranteed control over the basic, every meaningful level of state power there. And they have, they have elected, they have an elected Supreme court and there's one of the things they're having as a Supreme court race and they want that turnout to be as low as possible.

And great way to have a low turnout election is when there is a literal pandemic going out. So they're like, we're doing this. We're getting another guy in the Supreme court. Fuck you. And they already have a four to fucking majority. That's, that's, that's how, that's how much they don't give a shit is that they're still going to do this.

He would already be sanctioning Wisconsin if it was another country, we'd already be sanctioning this dire fucking country. And then of course the funniest part is that, but then, you know, you're like, Hey, it's not Democrats fault. The governor's trying to stop them. But guess who says, you know what? It's not that big of a deal. We should keep doing our, our beloved institutions or what it's Joe Biden, Joe Vibe, he's not

said this is fucked. He's not said, don't do this. He's like going with the flow. He's saying fuck it. Be legends. Well, yeah. Joe Biden has like, he has like a bill Mitchell attitude by this, because he's visited by the specter of death every night in his life.

It's time to go, Joe. Come on. Come on, man. Can I just get like, let me do this election, man. I don't want it. Not yet. And every night he just sort of like wraps a chain around an enchanted switchblade, just like he did with corn pop and wards death away.

Yeah, it's like the, what is it, the ghost of a Christmas pass, except they're covered in bike chains and not, not shackles of, kept them to their, their world of life and job. The special specter of death, specific to Delaware. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I just like sort of feel like a broken record with this shit because like this primary just chugs on, but it's just like, it's such a distant afterthought. Like it's, it's so weird thinking about where we were when we ended the tour versus now.

It's like, I mean, it's fucking depressing, but like it just, it just feels like just like it, like it's, it's, it's just frozen, like, like nothing is real. And you know, like I've said before, like there are no circumstances, can you consider this primary like legitimate at all? And I'm saying, and I'm saying this as someone who like, even like, I will admit that like even on a perfect, perfectly like, you know, we're like, you know, we observed every standard of like a free and fair election and everyone was able to vote like, I still, like, you know, I'm willing to admit like that's no guarantee that Bernie Sanders would have won

it then either, but like just, I don't know, it's just like the whole process just seems like this. It's just like, it's just not real at this point. Like they should, well, that's why it's nuts that they don't just stop it. They should just appoint Joe Biden. I mean, I'm not saying I want them to do it, but like they could do it, but no, they don't have to go and kill their fucking voters. That's what Stacey, they're going to, they've killed, they already killed in Michigan and

in Florida and in Arizona. They have, Illinois, they have killed voters. Well, I mean, I'm talking about swing states, but they actually care about like they, they hurt their own possibility of winning Michigan and Florida and are going to in Wisconsin because they're going to be people who are voted last the other week and who are going to be voting tomorrow, who are going to die, who are democratic based voters and they're okay with it because it observes the forms. And it's like you're, they absolutely could just say, we're canceling all of this at Biden's

the nominee. Hell, they could say we're canceling all of this and Cuomo's the nominee, we're canceling all of this and near attendance, the nominee, they could do whatever they wanted. There's no stopping them really. But the thing is, is that that's what the democratic party exists to do is observe forms. And if they made the message that, Hey, you know, forms, we don't need those anymore. Well, then we also don't need the democratic party anymore. And that is the bridge too far because as much as they might not care about and in fact,

are actively hostile to holding power, they sure as hell don't want their beloved institution to go away because that's where that's their conduit for money and influence and everything. So there needs to be a place in politics for meaningless formal obligations. Cause if there wasn't, the Democrats would have no reason to exist. But I mean, like to, to stop Bernie Sanders, I mean, like they, they, they broke a lot of fucking norms on this election. Like what they did in Iowa, like they're still carrying out the formal obligations. Like behind the scenes, anything can be done.

Of course there's no rules, but you have to observe the formal obligations. Because this is a one party state, the country, the United States is a one party state. It's one party of capital state. Democrats are there to provide an illusion of, you know, of, of deliberation through norms. And if there's no norms, if we're in the post norm era now, then why the hell would anybody consult any of these motherfuckers about anything? Why would you be in a room with fucking Steny Hoyer if, if, if it doesn't matter that you observe norms?

So, I mean, like obviously they, they just want Bernie to drop out so they can just like, you know, be done with it or whatever. But you know, he's not doing that. And you know, God bless him for sticking around. I mean, we need somebody out there talking at a national level about like, you know, what people need and, you know, what, how, how this could be different. Like were we a, I don't know, barely functional society or state? But like the thing is, it's just like the, you know, everyone wants him to drop out.

I mean, apparently there's some speculation that even some people around him and some allies are going to, you know, basically going to tell him to throw in the towel. I don't know what he's going to do. I don't know how long he's going to hold it out. I would hope he would stick it out as long as possible. I mean, like there's still a lot of people who really are counting on him and believe in him, even if they have, you know, abandoned the idea that, you know, he's going to get this nomination.

But I mean, it just seems to be like there's, there's a growing demand for Bernie Sanders and his campaign and only them to do some sort of searing moral inventory about what went wrong or what they could have done differently. All again, by the way, all of these demands are being made by the people who fuck them over in every way possible during the actual campaign. So what do you guys make of that? It is, it is more important than ever in light of how fucked up, how illegitimate so much of this primary is that you not listen to these people.

These people do not deserve for you to fucking entertain any of the horseshit they say. Everything they say is based in reality. It like everything else, it's completely based in like preexisting, idiotic fucking boring grudges they had in media or on Twitter or academia. None of it has any application to what actually happened. And again, even if this was a legitimate affair, it wouldn't have, it wouldn't either. People just do that any time, any time they think they can settle some boring fucking score, prove that they were right about like this type of poster, this type of podcast,

this type of writer, this type of journalist, it never actually, it's never someone who actually knows anything about winning anything. I know that because everyone doing this was for warren until February or still is. Yeah. No, I mean, that's what I'm saying. Like, sure, we can do a fucking, a, you know, a struggle session about like where the campaign went wrong. There's plenty of things that, you know, one might suggest about, you know, maybe he,

maybe he tried to play nice for too long. Maybe he should have never run as a Democrat to begin with. Maybe he should have been, you know, a lot meaner or nicer or blah, blah, blah, or, you know, made more of an electability argument or like blah, blah, blah, like all these things, things are just basically just speculation at this point. Like I could see the value in some of them, but like none of it really strikes me as any kind of like silver bullet. I mean, I think basically what we're realizing is that like he could have run the most perfect

campaign ever and they wouldn't find, like they never would have worked for him basically, not in the Democratic Party. Right. But like what I'm saying is like, all of these things are being like, most of the people who are demanding it are Elizabeth Warren people and it's just like, where's your fucking searing inventory? Like why? Like your candidate did like exponentially worse than not just Bernie Sanders, but like

Amy Klobuchar and Pete Buttigieg. So where did you, where did she and you go wrong in this campaign? You got your ass kicked by the mayor of South Bend. You lost the black vote in South Carolina to Pete fucking Buttigieg. If you're going to give me any fucking advice, it should be over like what type of arm war to buy. Yeah. You're not telling me a fucking thing about this because you don't know fucking shit.

You know, I was thinking about the, the, I was thinking about big structural Bailey the other day. I often do. I often do it because I was, I was reminded of the, the picture, the famous picture of the big, the giant blue, the giant stuff, the inflated, inflated Bailey and, and Elizabeth Warren going like, ah, it's Bailey. And apparently they take that thing to shows and stuff. And I, and I, and I just thought about how like, say you're a regular human being, like

a regular normal person who has, you know, for whom maybe they are aware of politics. Maybe they even have political opinions, but who have not, who have decided to be normal and not make that like an animating part of their world and their life and their identity. Uh, and you're walking by an Elizabeth Warren rally and you see big structural Bailey. What the fuck do you think is going on? Like big structural Bailey to explain what it means takes. You have to have so many dense layers. It's very much an internet product.

It's a product of people who, of advisors and staff who are just internet poisoned because the assumption that the in group references that you guys all share mean anything outside of that bubble is perfectly represented by big structural Bailey because not only is it a giant inflatable dog, it's a giant inflatable dog with two pennies on its neck. And of course one of the war people will explain to you, well, you see Bailey is actually the name of the dog that she just got before she ran for president, by the way, uh, and, uh, and, uh, big structural refers to the big structural change that she's promising. And he's big and he's structural, although his structure is literally provided by hot

air structure, providing big fucking structural Bailey is just heated air. Uh, and then, and then, and then the two, the two pennies are for the two set wealth tax we're putting on people wealth over a $10 million. How long, how far do you get in that conversation before the person walks away? Yeah. Well, I mean, true to form so much of the Warren campaign, so much of its presence and outreach had the vibe of theater kids that have a thousand in jokes that they think are funny because they make each other laugh.

And of course people would be like, oh, chapel, you scumbags, uh, you guys are the kings of internet self-referentiality, it's like, yes, but there was no big structural Bernie that we brought the people brought her out of the fucking Bernie rallies or any of that. We're not, we're not displaying the baseball, yeah, yeah, we're not running a fucking presidential campaign. Imagine if we ran a fucking presidential campaign and we sold fucking Caleb Jacobi shirt. It's the same thing. Well, no, it's just like, like, it's just basically what's going on is like, uh, all

of the people that are demanding that Bernie drop out or that there be some kind of reckoning about like why his campaign didn't work are the people who are like, you know what, it is a shame that we're left with Joe Biden. Like we deserve better than this. Like, you know, it is bad that Democrats didn't nominate a progressive and like, you know, maybe a guy who raped someone in 1993. But like they're blaming that on Bernie and not like, it's never like, oh, I'd never supported him when I had the chance.

It's like his fault for, I don't know, talking to a podcast. Maybe they just want us to admit like this show to admit that we personally tanked Bernie Sanders chances. Right. And I, my question for those people, you know, you could talk about like the people on Twitter who are not at all broadly representative of voters you actually run into, but the other shit that happened, like a pro-Israel lobbying group throwing fucking millions of dollars into running specifically anti Bernie ads, only anti Bernie ads, what, what, what, what

would have prevented that? Would that not have happened if people were fucking nicer to Madaglacius? Yes, it would have. Would that, would that, would that not, would that not have happened with those fake emojis? Wouldn't it happen? No, yeah. Or are there other forces beyond your fucking little world that never would accept a Sanders fucking candidate?

I mean, I guess it's solipsistic. Which is it? That's what I'm getting at is like, these people just want us to say like, it was our fault. We hurt Bernie and therefore that's why Biden is the nominee and it sucks for everyone. Where it's like, well, we tried as hard as possible to make sure Bernie was the nominee. And like, you maybe started to have tepidly supporting him in February of this year. Please fuck off forever. Like the idea that I would ever like apologize to you or even take what you have to say seriously

is laughable. And it's like, you supported the candidate that did worse than anyone. You're like, your candidate didn't finish higher than third in a single fucking primary. Like, why, why, why they'll be nice now. Yeah, while, while this advice now about what Bernie should have fucking done differently. And guess what? Maybe if you had wanted to influence the way Bernie did run a campaign, you should have like, I don't know, worked for him, volunteered for it, or like done anything in the chance

that maybe it would have made a difference. Right. But what, what they're saying is though, oh yeah, he didn't have, what they're saying is like, what they're saying is like, oh, Bernie only had a plan to win 30% of the Democratic electorate, which is like, let's be honest, a huge fucking chunk of it, a huge fucking chunk of it, that like, were, were the fields who have remained fractured, would have fucking won. Like, I mean, again, like maybe it seems foolish to look back on it now, but like, we were

all ready for Super Tuesday to be a fucking coronation. And then we all know what happened after that because they did like, they finally got, they did the game theory thing and they got two of the, like front runners to fucking drop out against, despite not having any reason for doing that, right. And they're like, well, I mean, I guess your, if your candidate didn't have a plan for what happens when two of the candidates who were like leading in delegates and votes at the point just decided to drop out and give it to the senile guy who hadn't won a single fucking, or had won only one primary.

They're like, yeah. And by the way, Elizabeth, Elizabeth Warren didn't even have a plan to win her own state. Elizabeth Warren didn't have a plan to beat people with worse name recognition and less money than her. And it was just like, what was her fucking plan? I'll keep saying like, oh, like, like it can't just be that the media gave it to Biden because like the media declared Biden dead after fucking New Hampshire and I was like, yeah, no shit. He fucking was.

So isn't it weird that like all of a sudden everyone just like jumped ship and like just decided it's him? And if that's the case, like that with the other argument they say is like, well, if if all Bernie had a plan for was to win a third of the entire Democratic party for like an unprecedented candidacy that goes against everything that they supposedly stand for. Uh, I mean, first of all, that's pretty impressive, but they're like, I guess they didn't have a plan to win the other 60%. What does that say about your fucking party?

Like in the fact that like, yeah, like Biden was dead. Like I thought nobody was like, wouldn't it wouldn't have been, I thought it was going to be Buttigieg or Klobuchar or something. And then all of a sudden they just like show that there's that the absolute set up cynicism of it is that yeah, they don't give a shit about anything. What they care about is that there is a large segment of Democratic voters who are, they just listen to what they, they, they listen to the TV, something like 80%. There's a poll, 80% of Democrats trust the mainstream media.

Like they have an instinctive trust for anything they see on like a non-Fox news, which means that they were basic that a huge chunk of them were just not going to fucking ever free for Bernie when, when he is, when he was like persona non grata for them, uh, the, the key for Bernie was always to get people who were not in the, in the program or were not part of that sort of, uh, sort of, uh, media ecosystem, uh, and he didn't, he didn't do it. Yeah. And if, you know, if you want to do the post mortem on the, on the, on the campaign, like, like that's it.

Like he didn't, he didn't win enough over enough of the people who have dropped out of the political process or fucking don't watch MSNBC, right? Yeah. But, but I think again, this is not to sell it that he won a fucking lot of them, right? Yes. And like under the normal rules of everything that here too for has happened, it was a pretty good fucking bet that he would be the front runner, if not the nominee, but like what these people are saying now is like, why didn't Bernie plan for the thing that's literally

never happened before? I mean, maybe you should have, I guess you should have fucking seen what was coming down the pike that the democratic party would have done fucking anything to stop him, including like go against their own interest as far as the individual candidates go. But I mean, it's just, I guess that's, uh, that's, that is my post mortem on the Bernie campaign that in the presidential race, at least we're not going to have a good candidate while we have a democratic electorate that trusts the media and trust journalists. That's it.

We're talking post mortem and we're also not going to next time, if there is a next time, it will have to be someone that faced with a Joe Biden. Their first thought isn't, that's my friend. Yeah. Yeah. My friend, my buddy, my buddy from the Obama years, we loved him. Now the other, the other infuriating thing that happened this week from this, the exact same crowd of people who were like, and by that, I mean Warren supporters who are like,

why, why doesn't, you know, what, you know, Bernie really fucked us over by not winning. You know what I mean? By not beating Joe Biden, you know, thanks, thanks for that, buddy. Um, they're all fucking angry again because Joe Rogan came out to this week and said, yeah, I'll probably vote for Trump over Biden, but I would have voted for Bernie. And they're like, there's what we told you all along. It was like, so why does it, you know, Bernie should have denounced this guy. And it's like, this is what we told you all along.

This is why Bernie was the candidate that should have been the fucking nominee because he's the only guy that would get people who definitely would vote for Bernie, but wouldn't vote for Biden or might vote for the fucking Republican. And the thing is, if you're Bill Kristall or David from, and you say that people pat you on the fucking head, but if you're Joe Rogan, they're like, oh, I knew this guy was evil all along. They all explicitly said, I will, I'll never vote for Bernie in the primary. And that's why he's too dangerous.

No one ever fucking, you know, said that these assholes are like, you know, morally poisoned because they're going to let Trump be the president because they don't want to vote for the fucking Democrat. It's just like the rules only apply if you're Bernie Sanders, essentially. And like the idea that Joe Rogan is a morally worse person than David from Jennifer Rubin or Bill Kristall. If you believe that, like you should get a lobotomy, like seriously, like you should stop thinking.

Yeah, well, that that is, that is my little like cherry on top of the soft serve swirl of diarrhea. You never never listened to these people fucking guilt you with academic language. Never let them scold you, never let them tell you what words not to use, what podcasts not to like, including Joe Rogan, you, they, you never have to listen to these fucking people again. None of these people can ever guilt you into anything because they're doing it for Joe fucking Biden.

Honestly, that is the ultimate apocalyptic like revelatory moment here is that all of this energy, all of all of these collected words said and published in defense of this vision of the of the Democratic Party as the place for the hopes and dreams of the marginalized in this culture, specifically racially, race and gender and sexuality, all that Bernie's chief sin for all of his other, of course, we, we, we, we think he's generally has such good ideas, but his, his, his, his absolutely unforgivable sin is his unwillingness to intersect his analysis. And now all of those people have decided that Joe Rogan, Joe Rogan, Joe Biden is that Joe

Biden is, is good and they should be president and like, that's the game. It's over. Bye bye. It's done for. Come on. No. Yeah. Suck my fucking dick.

You're never going to get me or fucking anyone below 40. You're never going to guilt them into anything over again with a cynical application of it. Pull ever again. Fuck off. Fuck off. You don't get to, you don't get to make anyone feel bad about consuming or thinking or saying anything.

Fuck you. I'm doing it on behalf of a general of a man who is similar to trumpet that he has no positive qualities you could point to. You have a lifetime of, of, of, of vinylity and on disgusting, uh, Renfield, like worship of capital, uh, and now a current moment of being a pudding brain, uh, a senile Oph, who's just a absolute hollow shell filled with a fucking etna stock. I would slightly disagree with you. I think he has redeeming personal qualities in that, like, you know, he does have some kind of goofy charm to him, but, like, his career in American politics

in terms of what he's actually done is almost unrivaled in the level of, like, evil that he's wrought upon the people of this country and world. Like, it's just, if there is anything bad in your life or, like, in American government or politics, like, he had a hand in it, for sure, almost all of it. And, like, and much of it is, like, actually specifically, like, explicitly, like, racist in its application and intent. But he's good now, though. Yeah, no. Those years under Obama, you know, it's like in the movie when, you know, the old racist, he has to, like, work with a black guy and then at the end of the movie is like, you know what, you're not so bad. That was him. It's, like, 48 hours. Yeah. But here's the thing really. Yeah, he's

Nick Nolte in 48 hours. Yeah. Here's the thing, though. Like, I mean, we've talked about this and, like, I know, you know, I guess, like, by, you know, if, like, a sort of in a literary sense or, like, if going by your gut, it seems like Trump is going to win re-election, like, despite having no reason whatsoever. Like, if there will, if there's going to be one. If there is even going to be an election, right? But here's the thing. We should not give short shrift to the idea that, like, Joe Biden could get elected president in 2020. Oh, for sure. No, he absolutely could. And you know what? That is, like, we talked about in 2016, like, what the funniest outcome would be. Like, we were like, oh, Hillary being president is the funniest outcome. Joe Biden being president

would be the funniest outcome of this election without a doubt. And that is, that's the number one reason I think it's possible more than anything else is how funny it would be. No. Yeah. If that's how you read the world, and there's at least a 50% shot. I mean, you know, what's even funnier are our queen, Dr. Jill Biden, her in a role as Edith Wilson. Well, I mean, obviously that's her whole, Edith Wilson. That's her whole plan because she really cared for him. She wouldn't have let this happen. No. She clearly just union him as a, as a vessel for her own power. I mean, yeah, maybe she just like, you know what? We would go to the White House for receptions and those drapes just drove me crazy. I got to get in there and change them.

Or yeah, she wants to wield power behind the scenes. Like, think how bad Joe Biden is right now. And by bad, I mean, like, his like inability to speak, finish sentences, like his, his, his, his mental and like physical capacity right now. Because like, he's gotten worse dramatically just in the last couple of weeks. Like, every one of those like internet videos he does or interviews have just gotten like, and we've made fun of him for a long time for being fucking putting brand and like, fucking, you know, just rambling, like incoherent gibberish, but like he's gotten worse. Think about him being president and where that's going to go. It will, I mean, it may, I think it will, you know, there's a possibility,

scientifically speaking, that it, he recovers lost synapses and brand cells. It'll be like the, the, the, the duty of being president repairs his brain. It restores the moldy birch. They're going to give him the drugs that I, they gave Jeremy Renner in the, the born movie, the Kems, they're going to give him the Kems. Oh man. Yeah. Just, uh, yeah. President, President Joe. And that'll be great. Cause like, you know, all the Democrats will be happy. Like they will have proven conclusively that like, you know, our show has, you know, no actual power or sway. Ha ha. But they get to have Joe Biden as president and like think how cool that'll be for everyone. Uh, I think the good news is, is that if there is any, is that, especially if you look at

shit like the, what the court is doing with the Wisconsin and the both, both the state Supreme court in Wisconsin, but also our US Supreme court, because they also made a ruling that's going to invalidate thousands and thousands of, of, uh, of, uh, mail in ballots in Wisconsin because they don't have postmarks on them, uh, which is literally rewriting state law in Wisconsin, uh, on the fly just because that's the result that leads to fewer votes. I mean, that was, that was, that's the degree of legal thinking that went into that decision. Uh, meaning that politics, I mean, between the disaster capitalism we're seeing and the court ruling, like there's no more politics as we understood them. I mean, to the degree to where they were ever real is

debatable, but now we know that like, you know, the fucking the, the veils are falling away. Uh, and if we want anything out of this, this disaster other than, you know, absolute death and penery, we're going to have to assert it, assert it on our own terms. Uh, we sure can't wait for any of this, these fucking forms to be, uh, any of our, any, anything we want to be, to come through the observance of any of these hollow forms. Matt, I, we were talking with Noah last night, like, uh, as part of the, uh, the COVID, uh, relief package, uh, they're, they're including a capital gains tax cut. Yes. Which to me, that's, that's the most like, that's what we need, baby. See, it is though,

because, uh, if you guys don't know capital gains, uh, tax, that's what you pay when you like sell stock or something. Uh, and it's taxed at a far lower rate than income hilariously. And they want to tax it at an even lower rate than income. Uh, and the thing is, is that that's the kind of shit you do when you're going, when you're getting liquid, uh, when you're, when you're, when you're getting cash assets and getting rid of like, you know, your speculative ones, which that's perfect thing to do. That's a perfect goal to set if you're looking to, you know, uh, if things do, we get out of this. Okay. And we're like, we still have, uh, intact economic, uh, supply chains and, uh, uh, political and economic and social structures.

Shit. You can use all that liquid capital, just buy up all the distressed and empty property that there's going to be all those former small businesses that all went under. You can just buy them up. Uh, or, uh, uh, conversely, if things go really bad, you can use all that liquid asset while money still means something to build the Elysium ship and leave earth. Yeah. Um, I, yeah, I just, uh, also, uh, the, just the height of absurdity right now is like, you know, I know they ran a whole like basically before the pandemic hit. They spent the whole year on the democratic primary arguing about healthcare and Biden's thing was that we just need to go back to the ACA and they're saying like right now, oh, like how dare Trump not reopen

the exchanges, which like, you know, as long as they're there, he fucking, he definitely should. Like so many people are fucking out of, out of work right now, but like the, for these people, like I see this Andy Slavitt asshole all the time and people are like, he's the most incredible fucking expert on this like pandemic. Like everyone listened to Andy Slavitt right now. The only time I heard that name before is when this fucking asshole was like lying on behalf of the affordable care act and saying like, oh yeah, you can get a plan for $75 a month in there. It's very affordable. Like he spent his whole like five years of his life creating the most ill-conceived like Rube Goldberg contraption of like fucking Frankenstein patchwork healthcare coverage

that serves no one and makes everyone's life worse. And now he's just like, it's a shame we can't go back to that now. It's just like, like, let's be honest, he didn't wait like those five years of his life that they wasted creating the ACA was five years that they didn't waste stopping single payer healthcare from happening because that's the only reason these assholes have any job or like any vision whatsoever. Their only goal in life is to stop that from happening. And in a world now where like they spent a year saying, we can't have Medicare for all because people will lose their employer backed healthcare, which they all love so much, or people are so afraid of losing their employer backed healthcare. A study came out today and said that 30 million Americans are

going to lose their healthcare at the end of this crisis. These are people who had healthcare through their employer. Well, that's why the new thing is the new thing is Medicare for all, but just for coronavirus. Yeah. If you get coronavirus, you should not go bankrupt treating it. Anything else, go for it, which really does show you what they're saying is, look, we need to give you as much healthcare as we'll stop you from getting us sick. Yeah. I mean, out is going to prison to get healthcare in licking subway poles. But again, like it goes back to this thing about like, you know, the smug fucking pricks who are just like, you know,

uh, tutting over, over Bernie Sanders, like supposed failure or whatever, a failure that they helped, you know, author. So, I mean, like now they're going to fucking cry over it or like ask other people to apologize, right? Which is basically the only thing they're good at. They're just sort of like, well, you know, you can complain that the media helped Joe Biden or like, you know, everyone just fell in line, but like ultimately at the end of the day, it was the Democratic voters and they had their say and most of them just didn't want Bernie Sanders. And if you're talking about a population of people that like vote in Democratic primaries or any primary election, these are essentially like, I don't mean overwhelmingly so, but like, you know,

the overwhelming character is a people with a stake in the system, people with someone, something to lose, people who are educated, people who follow politics because it, politics does matter to them because they have like, you know, they have a say in what things happen because they have something to lose or like something to gain from it. If that's really the case, if that's really what they're saying, like at what point do I just like, I like, we don't, we don't deserve anything good in this country because we don't want anything good. You know, and we like, it's just more than anything, we don't want other people to have anything good. But it's just like, how can you, if you didn't understand the need for Medicare before all

before, if this doesn't make it clear to you, like it just fuck it. Like it's just the voters are bad. I think more what it does, well, yeah, because voters are voters are more by and large people who have invested emotionally in politics. Yeah. And who see politics as a mode of not only spectacle and enjoyment and emotional investment, but also as identity. And that is always a bad thing to do, even if you think it's for the good cause. I mean, it's going to, it's going to warp you in ways. And, you know, the rest of Americans have just decided that it can't because partially because of the, of exactly who votes and their, their priorities have decided that there is no point. And as much as Bernie tried to change that, you know, I don't know what outreach would work,

but I know that whatever was tried was not sufficient to get people to say, Hey, if we actually all do the same thing here, we can make this disgusting dog and pony show actually mean something. But we all have to do it. And that's a collective action problem that has bedeviled us on a billion fronts. And this is, this is one of the most, but this is one of the most basic. But like when you're talking about what I'm specifically like the Democratic primary voter, like, you know, it just, I guess the, I guess the problem is the vast majority of them suck and we'll never want anything better for anyone. So we just have to wait. Well, like I said, I mean, I think, I think like the imagination of the Democratic primary voter

is probably quite limited because they are so influenced by the horrible media. I mean, if you've looked at cross tabs for a lot of it, a lot of them are in favor entirely of the Bernie Sanders platform, but Democrats are easily cowed. They're easily beaten down. They're easily told that they don't want something that they actually do. They, you know, the old saying used to be Democrats fall in love, Republicans fall in line. The opposite is true. And it's especially, this is especially true when there's an incumbent Republican. That's when it's most true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Democrats because of the new, because of the media complex are prone to get too clever by half and imagine what other Americans would want. Well, it's because I think there, there,

there are a lot of, yeah, there are a lot of Democratic voters who are shitty. There are a lot of those fucking shitty suburbanites who came out for Joe Biden because motivated similar, similarly to the villages voters just don't want anything better for anyone else. Work it out like I did. But there are a lot who are like, I'm sure good people and there are a lot who don't hate Bernie. I mean, it's weird given how anti Bernie, the media is, Bernie's negative is really aren't high with Democratic primary vote. No, that's interesting. They thought, they thought, they thought, oh, well, I mean, he's not electable. I mean, even these people who like him say he's not electable. Oh, I mean, I don't know about that. Joe's just experienced. Oh, I don't know about

that. Like I've seen Joe enough. And it's also like, I mean, think about how much we consume and we're able to consume and think about people in our sphere and people who we read or read or listen to us. They're able to consume an incredibly high volume and you're able to pick things apart and you're able to, you know, off the top of your head, gather fucking 500 reasons why Joe Biden's terrible. But I'm sorry, someone who has a real job, someone who can't consume at the volume that, you know, maybe 100, 200,000 people on Twitter who influence the discourse of the media do, they do not. They don't consume in the same way we do. And I think, yeah, the media is a huge fucking problem. But also the difference in, there's, we're basically speaking a different

language at this point between the people who just subscribe to fucking four different newspapers and services, watch a million things, fucking have individual rankings of news anchors they either like or hate the most. They're not, we're not speaking the same language as the vast majority of people who vote. That works. That's a double edged sword. It works in one way in that, you know, whatever asshole on Twitter says that we lost the election for Bernie, it means that they're completely out to lunch. They don't, they don't speak the same language as these people either. But it does mean that there's a large gulf and I don't see any success for any good democratic presidential challenger until someone figures out a way to reach those people.

I mean, I mean, I don't mean to be like too hard on the voters themselves, you know, is it just get me new voters is what I'm saying here. No. It's just like, you mentioned like his faith, like despite the fact that like, like his faith Bernie's favorability like remains very high, and like issue by issue, like his agenda is very popular. But I think it's a mix of two things. I think like the people like he didn't reach or whatever, they all think that every other Democrat supports that same agenda. Exactly. They think every Democrat is for Medicare for all. And guess what? Like they've done a pretty good job of, you know, impersonating someone who is for Medicare for all. But it's either that or they think that like, even though I agree with those

things in theory, we just like it's just too impossible. It's just not going to happen. It's just like it's a failure of imagination or a failure to understand that like the Democratic Party actually does like there is a split among them on these issues, like they actually don't want the same things that Bernie does. But like, yeah, either way, it's just, there's a long way to go before like enough people are going to be on the side of like a Bernie style agenda or a Bernie style candidate. And like, I don't know if it was the candidate or the agenda or what or like how you're going to massage those things. But like there still remains. Yeah, like that 60% that was not persuaded. And I thought they would be, I thought enough of them would

just be like, I really thought that enough people just needed to see that Bernie could win and like win those early states to just be like, okay, I'll get on board. You know, and like, I think and if that was my thinking as well, if it were another candidate, honestly, I think they would have because then honestly, like the media would have covered him like the guy who was going to be the nominee, like they would have given people. And they, yeah, they never really covered him. Like they never gave people the permission to vote for him. Like what they did is they always gave people like an excuse not to essentially or requirement not to like, like you're playing with fire here by even considering this. And I think that the efficacy of that campaign

and the resiliency of people's desire to not participate were things that together were on in this context were not surmountable. Well, we'll see we're at 115 right now guys. You want to wrap it up for today? Sure. Yeah, that was a good episode boys always nice to do that really like the OG choppo original style. Yeah. Yeah, it's always uplifting. Yeah, just all remote, all yelling into a tin can and just the original three boys. Oh, and during the winding down of a Bernie Sanders presidential primary. Yeah, yeah. Time really is a flash circle. Oh my God, history doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes. Yeah, just before we go real quick, I would like to put in the show description of this episode. There is a COVID bailout fund

here in New York City that is a bail fund designed to get people out of fucking the death house that is Rikers Island right now. I've already given money to it, but I would just like to shout out that fund here and encourage you to kick in some, take in some change if you're able to. It is probably like fantastic. Probably the most important thing I can imagine if you're looking for a charitable donation right now, then getting people who are awaiting trial for a DUI out of the world's hottest coronavirus plague zone. It's just a death house right now. Cuomo specifically in this latest budget just ended the cash bail reform that they said they were going to do. They walk that back. I was passed

legislation. They're just going, nope, not going to do that. Just going to cut Medicaid and just keep thousands of people inside Rikers Island right now. These are people awaiting trial. They haven't been convicted of anything. These are just people awaiting trial. A lot of them are in there for shit that are like a parole violation or fucking like just like the most ticky tack shit being thrown in like what on in normal circumstances. Oh, violating social distancing can get you thrown in Rikers now. Oh, Jesus Christ. Well, yeah, that sort of defeats the purpose. But yeah, like what? Oh, well, I mean, depending on what you think the purpose is.

Yeah. Well, under normal conditions, Rikers Island is just like an inhuman dungeon of violence and degradation. But right now it could be like an actual death sentence in terms of like the horrific level of the disease being spread inside of it right now. So yeah, COVID bailout fund. I'm going to put a link or some information about that in the show description and just check it out and give them some money if you can. Maybe get someone out of Rikers and potentially save their life right now. Well, boys, another job well done. We got another bonus episode coming later this week. We're just we're staying real fucking good with content right now. And we are completing the Star Wars prequel trilogy. Watch a long DVD commentary later

this week. And we've got just plenty more fun stuff coming. So stay tuned, stay safe, stay healthy, everybody till next time. Bye guys.