Chapo Trap House - 500 - The Friends We Made Along The Way (2/22/21)

Episode Date: February 23, 2021

Ayyyyyy look at us. Against all odds, personal, political, technological, logistical, uhhh, hygenic-al, we made it to 500 dang episodes. We’re taking a moment to bask in our own greatness, and got all our favorite friends, past guests, and fellow podcasters to send in some toasts and/or roasts of the show. Seriously, it’s been great and thanks to all who’ve been along for the ride with us.

I I Ladies and gentlemen in the course of human affairs Sometimes we have to pause you have to pause and put an end to the humdrum To and fro here and there Hustle and bustle of daily life and news events take time to pause and Recognize a milestone that milestone. This is choppo trap houses 500th episode oh snap so I want to thank everyone for joining us for this

Incredible anniversary. I mean who thought it would happen But I got to say there is a certain Kismet a certain cosmic resonance to the fact that our 500th episode falls on the same day that both Neera Tandon is having her OMB nomination each shit and Is basically the one-year anniversary of Bernie winning the Nevada caucus? So I mean it's just it's just a strange it's a strange feeling There's a strange vibration in the air that that these events would would thread together to coalesce around our

500th episode, but there's it's just there's an ineffable feeling it just there's it It's just I taste choppo. I smell it in the air. It's like, you know right before rain you can sort of taste it Yeah, I mean I I'm in I'm an LA girl now. So I believe in like the moon and like the universe and like stars and things So clearly there's some sort of Some things in retrograde. I don't know. I haven't done the reading yet But like there's definitely something cosmically significant about our 500th episode and you know, I don't know if guys been following as far as the Neera Tandon thing goes

I mean it's hilarious. I mean it is so funny She deleted over a thousand tweets before her confirmation hearing and she is going to eat shit because of a Joe mansion and then like when that happened they were like, don't worry. We've got Susan Collins and Mitt Romney in the bag and That's not happening either. But the thing I want to say about it. Oh, no It is funny as hell that bad tweets are what is going to sink like her access to like the one thing She's been working for her entire life like a cabinet position in the Democratic White House, but one might call it irony But the thing is though, I mean One might say this is ironic too

She won like her and everybody like her One but the funny thing is it's like it's never good enough like like all the all the Neera people all the fucking Resist all the Warren fucking snakes. It's like they got their way. It worked everything. They did work And like I said, this is the one-year anniversary of the day. You remember that we were at a bar in Las Vegas It was the day of the Nevada caucus like that evening and Bernie had just given his victory speech And we were bet in a backyard bar in this like really cool bar in Vegas filled with people Outside together mingling having drinks together smoking cigarettes outside with friends and a rainbow a full rainbow Just appeared over the Vegas strip

Yeah, it had been raining very hard During the day and then it stopped and then over the back of the bar. There is a perfect rainbow a perfect rainbow to To mark what really I mean, like I said, there you there is a feeling you could taste it in the air But that feeling was probably the last good thing that's ever gonna happen At least to me personally I remember an old-timer coming up to you will and and yelling in your face It's gonna be a rainstorm in the desert before Bernie wins Nevada

And you know, like I said, well, we all know what happened with that and it's it's nearer and people like her got their way And just the fact that she's gonna be denied this this cabinet position is I mean cold comfort I mean if you if people would like to ascribe her losing this nomination to me and the show personally I'll take it because you know, it's what we have now, but like it's just like There's not too much opportunity to fucking do a dance on this particular grave because I mean What is dead may never die and like, you know that it's just Like they got their way. They got their fucking way and they're still not happy. I think also I

Because of the the fray and documentary I'm like shit. I've never read Edith Wharton. I should read Edith Wharton and And so I started with custom of the country. So you got your undine sprag the aspirational girl who wants to rise through society and she keeps doing it and She keeps succeeding, but then she gets there and finds that she's unhappy Self-sabotages and then blames everyone around her for her failure So I'm sure Nira thinks that we're the reason she's not getting exactly what she wants and that we're the obstacle but ultimately She ruins her own life constantly and at the very least

We get a little chuckle out of it. Yeah, she never had to do all those posts There was no that was not part of the job description like she just has to launder money from Gulf monarchy She does not have to go online at three in the morning and have arguments with trill barrier all day She did that because of the howling spirit within her and now No, it's going to keep her from what she would have thought would have been happiness But of course if she had gotten the nomination if she'd actually gotten the confirmed You know that it would have been 18 months before she would have gone on a fucking bender Posted at somebody like a picture of a gun and had to resign

Yeah, no, I mean this is all this is what the world is now awful things will continue to happen I mean There'll be temporary reprieve and by reprieve. I mean when we reach half a million COVID deaths Joe Biden will light a candle and Accidentally walk into it Um, you know, he'll clip it to the skybox during the state of the Union or this like an evil person Who's gotten what they want will fuck themselves? Strictly because of what they've done Strictly like you know, this is I wish this were us, but it's not you know, Mitt Romney

We have no purchase in Mitt Romney's world or Joe Manchin if I had any purchase Joe Manchin's world you know His his daughter would be sent to prison, but and him but You can enjoy this there will always be funny things like this because no matter how much these people win They're still repulsive and will do everything to Sabotage themselves even in their own worlds that they created. They're repulsive, but they're also deeply incompetent Yeah, I picture I've already got an image of Joe walking into the candle and not noticing for a minute and his floppy Long-tailed soup jacket the flame goes up to his butt

And he doesn't notice for a bit even still and sniffs there and says mmm Whatever's cooking sure smells good where he realizes it and then he runs around the room and has to dunk his butt in I don't know a pig trough a big bear a very comical a big barrel of pickle water and he goes. Yeah Yes, and he shoots up in the air big old tree but stream a cloud of smoke and you know like I See people talking about like oh Like you know a way to crow over near a losing this nomination But like I hope you realize that whoever replaces her is gonna be like even more to the right than she is and I'm like

I don't give a fuck. Who cares? I hope they are. Yeah I don't give a shit Do you think any of these people are gonna be good like no yeah They're all gonna fucking suck because they were gonna be OMB directors that Joe Biden picked or yeah the handlers picked They were never gonna be fucking good. I don't give a shit Yeah, the only distinction between these people exists so that people in the media can Convince everyone out or try to convince other people that there is some like Movement forward and yes, this person might be awful, but they're not as awful as someone who theoretically could have been chosen

So we're on the right track. That's the only reason that they exist and you know I mean god we've been doing this show over four years now our 500th episode and you know, we've now the tenure of the show spans to Bernie presidential runs The entire presidency of Donald Trump and then now we are our back where we started with a Completely fucking incompetent and ineffectual Democrat in the White House that like everyone Everyone has to pretend is like a good thing and it's just like I feel like we're right back to chop oh mark one The only good thing though is that Biden is substantially funnier than Barf Sacco Crumbo ever could be that's the one saving grace at the moment when he said presidential Trump the first day that felt good

But you know, like I said, I I Still carry with me on this day like that that feeling of being in Vegas like that feeling of seeing the rainbow Canvassing and at North Vegas trailer park with a son piker and his like Robocop streaming And it was just yeah, like The gun range that yeah, it's just blowing up. Yeah, just shooting off fucking clips. Oh, that was great We just a wonderful time in Vegas and you know, I had my hottest streak ever gambling and like that's what I felt like It felt like we were We were we were riding the quest the crest of that that tall and beautiful wave

But you know, we all know what happened, but I still keep I mean it's it's so bittersweet and it hurts to think back on it now But I'll always keep that that feeling Close to me and it was indeed a good feeling but Let's let's let's go now to the the anniversary itself because you know Yeah, you know, I the success of this show became as a surprise to all of us and I mean, I'm it's I think it's Awesome that we're still doing it the show continues to be fun for all of us to do That people still like it and then it continues to grow but When I think about the the the success of the program one of the things that I think of mainly is

All of the sort of the extended chapeau universe like all of our friends and and people who have started podcasts themselves and Become sort of part of a a broader Network of influence and and and brethren and pod bred brethren that we sort of like, you know Is it for whatever small way kind of like cracked open that door and as it turns out There's a lot of really funny talented and smart people with something to say and like sort of it a creative vision who have found audiences out there and To the extent that we have played a part in that I hold is probably one of the things. I'm most proud of so for our 500th episode we decided to reach out to what is

Definitely not a comprehensive list, you know, like this we can we can possibly include everyone But we reached out to some of our former guests friends and and podcast brethren to Roast us in a sort of Dean Martin Jerry Lewis style Roast of chapeau trap house and I think you know Jerry Lewis is the appropriate comparison because like him Um, we have also made a ton of money pretending to be mentally ill No, I mean like him like him. We made a really bad Holocaust documentary that we hope no one sees Yeah, um, yeah, it's it's called stop the guard tower. I want to fall out

Listen, you know our listeners the average age is 78 years old you guys grew up Loving Dean Martin. You loved it when they would get into their spaghetti arguments And one guy would go too far and like bring up that like all of them cheated on their wives and beat the shit out of them And then they would have they would throw the slowest punches ever caught on film But then they would all make up because they were all in this together and this means Four-hour lounge acts and that's kind of like what we do So I want you to pretend that Dean Martin is still alive and we're all him and we're also Jerry Lewis And we're also Sammy Davis and we're also, you know, whoever else was there

Mickey Rooney doing his hilarious gags. We would pretend to be a different race All the guys all the guys that you love blue eyes Frank all of them Colonel Sanders Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan bond Bedtime for Bonzo all those guys it it no, but it is it is a testament to to to love really that So many other great podcasts are now now share in this universe with us And I'd like to kick things off here like to kick off

It's ring a ding ding for us choppers today as a A calvocate of celebrity guests tea up to kick us in the balls And I couldn't start anywhere else. I and I keep in mind We have not heard any of these I've heard one of them and only one Chris Chris's Stitch them together Chris has heard them, but the rest of us we have this these are virgin ears here So, you know, but buckle in we may some turbulence may be coming our way But out of everyone we asked to do something for this. There's only one group that I felt compelled that we absolutely needed to start with and

That is street fight Murder Brian and Brett Payne the true originators the true OG's of this podcast game and The show and individuals who for without there certainly would never have been a chopper. Absolutely. I mean this this was It was it was through Brett and Brian that like me Matt and Felix Um all basically met each other and all basically all recorded our first podcast episodes Both individually and and with them. So, I mean, I just like they they're the they're the true innovators They are they're they're the ones who like listening to them and inspired me to I don't know be interested in podcasts I'll listen to them in the first place and then to eventually go on their show and then think that you know

I could start my own show with Matt and Felix. So More than anyone I we owe a debt of gratitude to Brett and Brian and street fight radio for really They were the ones who opened the doors to it for us. So Yeah, the velvet underground of low effort left this podcasting So without further ado, let's kick things. Let's kick the the 500th episode anniversary roast of chopper trap house off with street fight radio Hey, it's Brett and Brian from street fight radio. I'm Brian and Brett is sitting across from me Congratulations on your 500th show. I can't think of a better group of people to be guilty by association with and

It's cute that you still count your episodes eventually. It doesn't matter. Yeah, you're gonna get to like a thousand five hundred or something like that and Then you'll be like, oh We don't have to count these anymore But hey, I'm I'm happy to do a soundbite for your five thousandth show really. It's just a good time. So Stay out of trouble, please so that people don't accuse us of spreading evil upon this world and It's good to work. It's good to work with a good CIA psi op, you know Yes, yes, so just remember put me and Brett in your will two hundred thousand dollars each and Everything's good. Happy 500th episode at choppo and let me know what alt-right publication you're gonna pivot to I want to retire

Bye guys Brett and Brian the the dulcet Vocal stylings of Brian Quimby. We love to hear it and you know, I mean, I'd be probably part of this sort of like retrospective and like sort of remembering and thinking back all the people we've hung out with and all the fun We've had doing the show. I mean, I just like listening to them. I Recall, I think one of the funnest funnest Excursions we did for the show is when we were on tour in Columbus, Ohio and got to hang out in with Brett and Brian in their hometown and we all

Went out to a local movie theater to see the masterpiece Venom with with the Street Fight boys and we were we got the goop. It's true Yeah, we got that was a great. That was that was such a fun time We all got gooped up with Brett and Brian their friend Alex was there We were just in the theater just just humming to ourselves just venom venom and we I just like was one of those time experience Like I remember that was like a that was like a bad week of news There was just like a lot of depressing news that week and then like venom sort of pulled us out of that It was during the grueling Midwest War, which was one of my favorite tours

We've ever done but it was a brutal schedule towards the end and venom gave us the strength we needed to continue Yeah, I remember doing that episode with like six of us in like a shitty motel room Talking about Brett Kavanaugh or something and then just at the end of it. We were like fuck this shit Let's talk about venom and everybody like a light switch going on was like hell. Yes Feeling like eggs and pains aches and pains that they've got it up with the weather I just you know, I yeah, and just like I aspire to be like Tom Hardy in that like I want to change my voice every time I come on the show, but I'm just not as talented as he is. Yeah, you don't have the commitment So I'm nothing but love to the the originators the founders Brett and Brian and

Just you know, I mean and if you haven't subscribed or listened to Street Fight I mean shit like if you're a if you're a late choppo adapter and you're not familiar with the legacy of Street Fight Now would be a great time to You know show some respect. Yeah, I mean Maybe not standing on the shoulders of giants But like, you know, like those girls when they get on their boyfriend's shoulders at like Oz Fest in their topless Lovely I think I think Brett and Brian would very much appreciate that. All right, so now we're I mean like I said As long as Street Fight goes first, that's all I care about but like Chris

Why don't you why don't you sort of DJ and then sort of introduce each of the next roasters? Okay, I think the way that I'm going to try to do this is like vaguely chronological into which at which point these These people were introduced into the chapeau universe, which means that up next I got to go with my predecessor Brendan James. Oh nice the man who the man who set the template for what is the occluded the occluded producer So here's Brendan. Hey guys, it's Brendan. Congrats on 500 episodes. It's actually got me Pretty emotional here. I was your original producer your first collaborator But I always thought of myself kind of like your mommy and of course I guess I left you to fend for yourself after I couldn't put up with any more of the crying and the screaming and the pissing yourself

But enough about Matt's 2018 election night stream It's crazy to think that it's been three years since I left the show and I really owe you guys everything the way you took The show to such a repetitive and uninspired and pretty much desperate direction after I left just to make me look good I mean those tabletop gaming episodes. Woof. Nice touch. It really means a lot But honestly, it's great to see the show still going strong It's making almost enough money now for you to pay for that group surgery to fix all of your deviated Septums, but it's seriously inspiring to me that there's still a show out there that can tap into such a necessary Intersection of comedy and politics hosted by funny actually working-class people who can oh

wait Damn, sorry. These are my notes for Street Fight. Uh, okay. Yeah, sorry Makes me proud to know you guys are still out there pushing back against the corporate elite Coastal press from your personal home studios in LA and New York I just want to talk to Chris specifically for one second from producer to contest winner Chris you've done a great job because we both know producers job is like a plumber No one should even notice you're there and seriously no one does and just to finish up I want to say to the original three because really I started out with them and because honestly who really cares about the others

I think you guys no matter what people say that you've jumped the shark that you offer nothing but empty criticism that you're frauds At the end of the day, even if all that's true, I just want to say to everyone listening That blowback is now available streaming on all podcast Season two coming in April only on Stitcher premium. Thanks guys. See you in another 500 episodes You know he is he is right about not being noticed though Chris like someone asked me recently Do you edit a lot of your episodes and I'm like well, it's not edited, but it's very produced and I realized Chris gives us the perfect no makeup makeup Production and it a lot goes in to making us look like we just woke up like this

Look, I'm not going to brag or pretend to be you know Atlas holding this whole thing on my shoulders But there are probably a thousand individual cuts in any given episode of Chappell trap house and the fact that you don't hear them means I'm doing my job Yep, it's that no makeup makeup, baby. It's it takes twice as long as a face full of slap Just a quick note about our boy Brendan Brendan came aboard on episode three of the show when he was going to be our first guest on the show and He sort of inadvertently became our producer because I believe like we spent like 30 minutes to that that episode of Felix just reading a description of a massacre in Lebanon from Robert Fisk's book

And it was still I think the biggest the biggest cut I've ever made from the show because I was just like That wasn't that wasn't very funny We couldn't really riff on that and then and then Brett that's why I put it in there And and yeah, and I have a more British And then and then Brendan was like, you know, I have garage band like I I could I could edit the episode for you guys If you want and I was like sounds great because our first two episodes were completely unedited We were like, you know, no safety net it was it was just an mp3 One audio track that was ripped from a YouTube recording. It was like I would record the episodes by doing YouTube live

Which has a record feature But like every single pause or stutter or like, you know, misstep was like you could you could feel like a knife in your chest So it was Brendan's just by sort of by another wonderful cosmic accident Was our first guest who became our very first producer. Yeah, I like the idea that maybe there's some people who like I like the old choppo stuff when it sounded like they're recording from a bottom of the toilet and Felix was just reading the Quran a lot You know, there have to be that sense You can criticize that but name one podcast. It's converted more people Well speaking of that, I think I'll move on to the next one

Which is one of our earliest and most frequent guests Someone whose perspective has really shaped the form policy desk here on chapeau trap house, which is of course our good friend Derek Davidson. So let's hear what Derek has to say for us. Hey friends, it's Derek I just wanted to say congratulations to chapeau trap house The podcast that began is one cause our man's search for his Genghis Khan and ancestry joined by his two friends who wanted a place to say slurs and has now become both a pipeline to fascism and a CIA funded tool to convert committed leftists into liberal democratic cucks In all sincerity to everybody a chapeau to will Matt Felix amber Virgil Chris

Even Brendan, I guess. I don't know if that's still a sore spot Congratulations on Milestone and thank you so much for occasionally letting me stop by and be a little part of the journey Here's to 500 more episodes and looking ahead to President Gina Carano in 2024 Best wishes to you guys and to your fine listeners and Hope to talk to you soon. What a sweet heart. I was very sweet. Honestly late that guy like

Stating like how is he so chipper? Given what he does for a I would be so much more of a bummer if I if I Worked in the field that Derek David. That's true every day He he wakes a newsletter that he that he puts out of just calling international news, which That's there's not a lot of a feel-good stories in there I do you think he wakes up every day and he's like

Maybe it'll be good Yeah, he like yeah for interchanges is like it's completely Exhaustive in the best possible way like nothing really gets left out at all and it's it's not just like an exhaustive Listing of everything that happened. It's like an in-depth Look at everything. It's an in-depth analysis of what it means everything and he's still like a very nice guy Who is generally in a great disposition? I don't know how I mean that's better naturally cheerful Felix I think you've described foreign exchanges as like receiving a personal presidential daily briefing You know, I mean he accuses us that uses us of being in the CIA

But you know, I mean I I view him as like our CIA director and every morning And they just give you like a like a like a red manila folder. That's just like important files important raw data And we're like Trump because we're getting that great briefing and then we're like we want to talk about Getting like the best possible briefing and we're like Kelly law floor She has to get her eye fixed nothing but love to to Derek I think who still holds a record as a the most repeat guest appearances on chapeau and his wonderful new project

He's our Paul Simon Foreign exchanges. I mean he is sort of the uh, I don't know Richard Helms of the chapeau universe Yeah, I would say war Reagan sort of like Mentally deficient Not really there not really sort of the figurehead of whatever this is Derek is Yeah, no, he's Richard Helms or someone similar. He's one of you are Iran contract conspirators All right, bring up bring up the next roaster I think for me personally as a listener before I was a producer one of the things I found very impressive in the early

Stage of the show were some of the comedians that you brought around and we're early fans of the show people that I really Respected and had been watching for a long time. So here I have a short. This is actually a video Sent in by one Tim Heidecker a long-term friend of the show Oh, let me see if I can get this video going real quick. It's happy anniversary 500 episodes. Wow That's a lot of podcasts. That's a lot of content I'd have some funny to say, but I'm wasted I was thinking all morning about a bunch of tequila sunrise driving on the highway thinking about life

For those who see that's that's Tim driving a car that's Tim doing a like, you know on the road guy in car video for it And if I could continue to suck him off yeah him coming on the show for the first time was a was a big sort of watershed moment for me and my You know the ability to you know, but take the show serious I'm not taking the show seriously But just sort of be like wow it really is catching on because you know the awesome show was like hugely influential on like you know My sense of the way I see the world are just like, you know comedy in general But like since then honestly the on-cinema universe has become like one of the most Like textured and like resonant documents about like what our culture and life in this country is like that is years ahead of the curve

I mean like as as the Tim Heidegger character and the on-cinema universe developed into like where it is like through the trial Through the Electric Sun Music Festival through like everything that's happened in that and like his his foray into politics like Nothing and this was like years before Trump or QAnon or any of that shit Like he like what what they've done with that show is basically like everything that's going to happen in the next four or five years Yeah, it's cool when geniuses like you but then also you're like Why do you like this? Are you making fun of us? Yeah, that was the it was yeah, we had Tim on very early on it was definitely the most nervous

I feel like I've been to have anyone on It just I don't know what else can you say about the guy that everyone listening to the show doesn't already feel and that will Hasn't already said I'm still one of the greatest suspicious of it. I'm not gonna lie. Are we dying? Well, he's making fun of us. Are we Tim Heidegger's make-a-wish kids? If he's making fun of this like it's that's fine. That's fine. Yeah, I'm okay with it. I'm just It's cool this next one. I'm not quite sure of the provenance This was just a message left on the the the 1 800 chapeau hotline But I screened it and it seemed to be about us and referencing our anniversary. So I'm just gonna play it

Yeah, this is Mike Lendell the founder and CEO of my pillow And I just want to say that the chapeau boys claim that they've reached 500 episodes is directly Contradicted by reams and reams of evidence. I've got evidence that they've been counting podcast episodes using faulty deep state Dominion software Dominion podcast the 500 number is the fraud I have information. I was deep platform

My podcast was taken down by the deep state Dominion is behind it. I've got evidence printed on my pillow cases. Let me make something Perfectly clear to you. I'm not backing down and I welcome every legal challenge Because I'm minting money and it might print impresses my pillow and I have enough to fight I'll fight the deep state today, and I'll fight them tomorrow I don't care if the chapeau boys are backed by the boys in Langley I don't care if there's a socialist to Sandra's pipeline My pillow is my life

I'm living on a diet of pillows. I have ducked out and foam stuffing pouring out of my eyeballs Ready for a pillow fight Well, I'm in case you haven't sussed that out that was that was James Adomian responsible for probably Yeah, some of the most memorable memorable bits on the show and I mean his his Sebastian Gorka was like that was like the first bit that we did on the show that like I Remember feeling that it had like penetrated some sort of membrane into like the larger news media Where there are people who like we fucking hated and had made fun of openly on the show who were like

Hey, you guys hear this Gorka bit. It's pretty pretty neat check it out and you know like yeah It's just like in James like his first appearance on the show or like his later Collins as characters like like as far as guess Go like he's the one who like most consistently has made me while recording I'd have to leave the room from laughing so hard Like like go to the bathroom because like I may have pissed myself from like laughing at how hard one of his bits hit I think James has like His talent as an impressionist or or as a character guy more broadly is Being able to suss out exactly what is so insane about someone's voice and mannerisms

With which Gorka it was almost like being gaslit where people are like Oh, look at this Gorka fella and we're like Can't you not hear the James Bond villain like right now and and James like totally he gets that you get he teases out exactly what's so fucking absurd about it and He makes us feel less insane For observing the basic

Surrealness of like a strange doctor strange love-esque Like descendant of Nazis like Sebastian Gorka No, yeah, I would credit a huge portion of sort of early-middle success of the show to James's impressions and exactly what Amber said There are a lot of people who are great at impressions But James is not only amazing at the actual impressions themselves, but he's such a good Reader of both the world and individuals that he can hyper-emphasize Hilarious things about them that even like people who professionally look at these people miss like we have he's

One of the one of the best one of the fucking best and we we forgive him for being Something very funny about James doing Mike Lindell Knowing his also excellent ventura impression. It really drives home that Lindell is the dark ventura It's a Minnesota guys that Minnesota sound with her Irritorial bend, but but one one is for light and the other is for yes, that is absolutely true. Well, that's the amazing thing about Lindell and Ventura's accent is like most Minnesota people don't sound like that And they do kind of have an accent they do have an accent But it's more like they do have some great lakes like vowel inflections, but it's like they speak more like Santa Claus

Where do you think Santa Claus is from? They bury they bury it not the continental US You don't know fucking anything about it. It's insane. You you are Jewish Did you literally you think Santa Claus like has the social security you're insane Are you saying Santa Claus doesn't pay taxes? No, I mean, he's like another rich guy who lives on an island You found those a elves from a modeling All those elves are from a former Soviet country. Yeah, all right, should we move on? Yeah, let's go Here's here's another another guest What one of a one of a duo coming back to try to redeem themselves from a

sub episode 100 Appearance that has gone down in in Chapo infamy the next two are both part of Chapo infamy But I'll I'll play these guys first because they are among our children and we love them. All right everybody This is Jack Wagner of yeah, but still joining me my co-host Brandon Wardell This is Brandon Wardell, and I do want to real quick apologize for the the 2016 episode I was 23 at the time and I my brain wasn't fully developed. So anybody that's still mad about that Needs to chill out. Yeah, fuck off. Nobody likes you when you're 23 It's so true, you know, I don't know what you're referring to Brandon, but I was I just want to go on record saying I was not

Don't worry about it. I was not hosting a podcast with you at this time So I'm I'm not attached to whatever you're talking about Nobody yeah, don't worry about it. Well, anyway, I mean will you message us you asked us to roast you To maybe toast you I mean I know you wanted roast But I feel like you guys get picked on so much online anyway, you guys get hit from all sides I mean everybody's criticizing you all the time So sure so I thought we had you know come here and say some nice things at least try You know have your back let you know that we you know we got you we're here to defend

We're here to defend chopper. Yeah, the chopper boys and girl. We're here So Brandon like what's some nice things we could say about them? Well one thing one thing that's great about choppers You know despite the success they have remained humble. That's true I mean, we're here and you know, we're here in fake LA. So we're used to people when they make it big They start they start to change, right? They're start buying fancy clothes. They start getting facials They start looking better taking care of themselves, you know Showering you soap. Yeah, where basic hygiene yeah, yeah getting a haircut shaving things like that I mean you guys haven't done any of that and quite frankly. I respect it and I appreciate it

Absolutely, it's it's noble to be a millionaire and look like shit Not by basic silverware Not live right Not live right at all live in Squalor in your thirties probably Deficiencies going on, you know, I respect it. That's going to be humble. Yeah. Anyway, like I said We need to keep saying some positive things because they get criticized enough First if you know what everybody always says. Oh, you make all that money on patreon

But you're a socialist podcast, you know, shut the fuck up like we're from LA and we respect the fact that you guys are About that bag, you know, get your bag. Honestly, you guys love the bag. They get that I respect all about that bag And they like their patreon too. Yes, sir. Both bags. We're talking about cocaine I mean they are called choppo trap house and I Just wanted to say that I I really like their theme song their iconic theme song by Gucci main Of course, they've kept it the entire time and also I wanted to point out that it's one of the few times that they've had a black person People say they're not diverse They've had at least one black person on Gucci main, you know, he does a song

They they have a Gucci main sample and their theme song and that is the that is the one black black guess That's true. That is a choppo, you know, quit saying they're not He's on he's on every week. What's a week? He's on a podcast. He's on once a week That's five hundred five hundred appearances, right? Yeah, if you want to look at it that way So that's not fair. What else what else do people say Brandon? Oh, well people people love to Get online and say that choppo trap house They're sexist people say people like to say that they they don't like women, but that's not fair That's not true. That's not true. Is it? No, not at all. There's amber

Absolutely, they have right, you know, yeah, I they're they're counterbalancing the gender pay gap by Paying amber the same amount as everybody else even though she is on the podcast annual Yeah, like two episodes a year or something like that. Yeah, I don't know that's that's not how it works over there But I I think it's good, you know, why not and respect nothing but respect to amber for that hustle, too, you know Get that get the bag like I said, not only that but I feel like if it wasn't for the podcast as a whole Those boys would be paying women to hang out with them anyway Yeah, true

we got about these guys 500 500 episodes and And 500,000 reply guys that say things like having a normal one in hell world Yeah, and I hope you guys are proud of that legacy all the people who talk exactly like you online I don't know. We're probably running out of time. So let's just get serious Congratulations You guys are our friends. We love you all congrats. You've also been a huge help to us getting started as a podcast You've all a lot of you have been on our podcast and you've really helped us out along the way

I'm we're also we also listen to the podcast and we're fans. So yeah, thank you You know, I I found out what politics is because of you guys. Yeah, same here actually. So thank you guys for that as well And one last thing before we leave this isn't even a joke or anything. This is a legitimate complaint Felix You have to either stop gaming You have to stop playing Counter-Strike while recording episodes or at least have the decency to use a quiet keyboard The podcasters were already literally phoning it in as a job I mean as close as you could get to literally phoning it in for a living But even worse than that for all those guys out there who uh, you know

Have some kind of like weird thing that they do where they close their eyes and pretend that you're their friend sitting in the room With them joking around. I mean, I feel like that really takes them out of the zone when they hear your keys clicking away I mean, it's like the equivalent of like seeing a boom mic in a porn So please for the love of God Felix just for one hour one two hours a week use a quiet keyboard or Chris Wade Figure out some way to edit out those sounds, please. I speak on behalf of the audience and myself Congratulations, I'm 500 episodes and we love you guys be happy 500 guys. Okay, so I was mentioned. I'm entitled to response A lot of the times Yes, I'm playing Counter-Strike, but a lot of the other times I'm responding to emails

And you can't tell the difference between me typing an email or me looking at email and me in a deathmatch server or me Because I get them and it's like oh better respond I'm the only one keeping. I'm keeping the ship the ship of state running. I Am the autobahn is mark of the ship. Yes, it's a figure of speech the ship I don't think it is. I mean, it's a letter Cohen song. It's in a Leonard Cohen song amber It's in democracy under Cohen's everyone. Yeah, everyone. Yeah, everyone who doesn't believe The ship of state is a thing, you know, maybe it's I don't know Contact me to prove that it isn't I love DMs from listeners

Second of all that is a realistic experience towards being my friend That's that you complain you you complaining, you know, yeah You the listener complaining about some issue in their lives, you know, you work at You work at like RT's version of mythbusters and you feel like one of your supervisors keeps taking your ideas And I'm like, oh, that's crazy and I'm you know, I'm typing away I'm working on emails because if I don't respond to the emails. No one else is yeah, I have to do them No one else is doing the emails. I am and also It helps me think emails helped me think I love emails. Yeah, but

Yeah, but still is a hilarious podcast one of the I remember like when they were first figuring out like Whether they were gonna do like when they were gonna launch a patreon and everything and it's been really fucking cool like one of the coolest things about doing this is seeing everyone take off in their own get their own bag and Picking up like yeah, I get their own bag. Yeah, but still is fucking hilarious Jack and Brandon are they're the perfect combo Brandon's hilarious. So is Jack, but Jack has a very like He has the perfect mind for delving into cultural minutia and

finding similar to how James finds the funny core of the impression he's doing Jack will find out why a cultural Cultural figment or something is so weird and find the weirdest aspects about it It's a one of I mean ironically one of my favorite podcast to listen to while I'm playing Counter-Strike DMs and doing the show At the same time did I ever mention the first time I met Brandon Wardell on the show. I don't think so. No He was actually your baby sitting in Felix and Nick Yeah, we met at a

American we're both as I will always have solidarity with Wardell as another strong Asian woman He would he had gone on come town. It was me and Felix and Nick. We're all living in that The legendary apartment. I love that place but we're in that apartment and And Wardell came over to be on like an early come town which very much angered their fans And I was walking around I don't know making coffee or something and he had not said hello to me much like many comedians don't Know how to speak to women and then he just turns around and he holds up his phone and he goes will you take our picture?

I'm Amber. I also live here, but I gave him a ton of shit, but he was a baby He turns instead of asking Instead of asking you if you have if you have games on your phone. He's like I have games on my check it out He's been contrite and and a sweet ever since he's he's this literally the sweetest person also like I feel like this is Verging on too serious, but I feel like Brendon has grown a lot both as a as an entertainer and as a guy Well, that was a I mean cheers to Jack and Brendon for turning in what it was definitely the spiciest roast so far I would like to leave that largely unabridged, but I'm I'm I was singed by that one So let's let's see what we got next coming up

All right another one who entered the chapeau universe in a moment of infamy infamy let me say but but is one of our oldest friends and Submitted what I might say is the highest effort Submission for us. So here is a little thing from our good buddy Josh and draski Hi, it's me or old pal Josh. I just want to say that I I feel like I am the bet middler to your collective Johnny Carson. So I wanted to give you a musical roast Anyway, hit it me Special

Now I just can't roast my pal will he's got the biggest heart But I never could get it to Lisa Vanda and I hold your ass in memory of God and my frost personality is an old People not accused her of being fast, but she's just white trash You know, I love my christmas man. That's just so much to like I can't even roast his ram and I Man we ain't been canceled yet. Oh, man I'm I'm beaming right now and you know, I gotta say to Josh as far as his connection to the chapeau universe Josh is

Probably one of the most one of the most blessed souls that I've ever had the pleasure of meeting thanks to the show pure Josh is the only slot machines player who I think is better than me That's the highest compliment I can give somebody Yeah, and I you know, I just appreciate that he he really gets us he has a he has an open mind and an open heart and He knows that I'm not a provocateur. I'm just I'm white trash and Eventually one day I will die in a water park mishap He lets me shine on the crazy diamond that I am no Josh. Yeah Josh is the first time we met Josh We like didn't know what quite to make of him except that we loved him

Like it's it's hard to get a B. You know, this is this is a secret you learn as you try to do an adult They're only like five or six types of people in the world really They're really there aren't that many types of different like faces or even types of people. It's all pretty much the same It's all like personality traits that people got from NBC's weekday lineup in 1999 But Josh is one of the few true originals and from the moment we met him. We're like This guy fucking rocks. Yeah, the image that will always stick with me is like the first time we met him is when we were in Chicago for the DSA convention and we were going to this this big party where everyone was like sort of milling around outside And then I just like like I hear the sound of like something rolling on a sidewalk

And I look over and it's Josh with his like was up energy and he's pushing a full shopping cart Full of LeCroy into the party and he goes sober caucus has arrived Yeah, I I was with him before that we went we went to lunch and we were walking down the street and he was Just stopped by several people Over the course of like a couple of blocks who just had to admire his drip I think the first time I met him he had Like a very tight like deep V shirt with like a wide like a 70s collar with like optimum chest hair and he had the big stash and he had a

Star of David that looked like Elliot Gould Bought it in Oceans 11 And it was like right in the middle of the chest hair and I'm like what is this person? I don't understand what this person is and And slowly realize he just That is just actually him. No, yeah an abulient and expressive Magical weirdo

There are a lot of people who like they're doing some type of branding exercise and how they dress or behave and It's just like oh, okay I know I know you're what impression you're trying to put up especially like in the business weren't but he's like No, that's just really him. Yeah, he's really who he is. He's a true eccentric. Yes And and with a benevolent eyes towards the world And you know and anyone who's just who's still mad about the infamous episode that he was connected to us with I mean look we were all on LSD. All right calm down It happens. Okay. We're in we're in year four the accountability process for those the issue is still in review with HR

Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I thought it was funny. Well, now let's move on into a whole category of Comments that we had sent in these are all from the the children of Chappell the the podcast that have kind of sprung up in our Wake not necessarily, you know directly inspired by us But I would say partially and also just by showing that any dipshit can do this right And and these people are very stupid Well, let's move on to the first one here is a nice little toast from the E1 boys My name is Alex Branson for E1 podcast and I know people are used to me joking and riffing and rassing Maybe a goof or two, but today I'm here to thank Chappell Trap House for the activism

They've done the huge platform. They've cultivated to help people in America and particularly one thing I'd like to thank them for that has meant a lot to me is Pursuing and promoting the legalization and proliferation of horse meat in America While horses may be romantic and cute to some in many poorer rural areas horses are an insane menace Pestulence known to run around in herds of over a thousand and they go around knocking over houses and messing up basketball courts Well, it's not even just crops It's not just in the third world because like I like to go to the track You know, I want to do some gambling and I can't can't concentrate on my gambling because there's all these horses running around

Oh, look at who we have here. It's Hugh the horse I want to be food not glue. I Just like to thank Chappell Trap House for everything they've done to target horses and take horses We're gonna get out of here and eat Hugh, but thanks to Chappell and sorry about your final episode or whatever And have a fun final episode What darlings yeah, you E1 I mean like those guys I Mean if they ever hit when they hit 500 episodes like that's gonna really count for something because I I do not understand How they keep coming up with new shit like they fucking like the shit that they spin out on that show fairly effortlessly

It seems like is Um, uh, it stuns me. I mean they're more talented than I am E1 has I think like the Most the best thing that like a piece of internet culture or media product can do is create its own world And that's usually passive. It's just that's because the Show or whatever it is Describes the world in its own way, but E1 is the only thing that is wholesale created an entire world and Given their listeners far more brain damage than even we have given ours. Yeah, yeah much like much like George RR Martin Yes, all right who we got next let's go to a kind of sincere one here is our friends from Appalachia the trailbillies

Hello, Will Matt Felix Amber Virgil Chris and Brendan this is Tom and Terrence From the trailbillies popping in from beautiful Whitesburg, Kentucky the toast y'all on the occasion of your 500th episode We know the roast option was on the table, but figured since you catch enough shit as it is We'd instead be the good sweet boys that we are and take this opportunity to extend our gratitude Whether it was Felix coming on our show when we were clocking in about seven listeners an episode or Tweeting about some of our earlier media hits or just having us on to talk hillbilly elegy or

Just being down to do shit Y'all have always been encouraging to us and we owe no small debt of gratitude for not only helping our show Blossom and become more than we ever thought it could be But also and most importantly for pioneering the $5.00 patreon tear So with that said I'd like to say thanks again for everything friends and here's to 500 more Wow It's just Tom's voice just makes me feel so good I mean like Tom because you could you like maybe like call call back in sometime and just do like a voicemail for me or something It's just wow. I want to feel like good inside all the time

Say it gives me flashbacks. It's very triggering. I think of I think of eating candy cigarettes in a baby pool But you know what I won't hold it against him. That's my baggage not his They are and we appreciate them for holding it down holding down the airwaves in the middle of the country Well, we take the coast I'll move on to another one from a now fairly successful podcast That started from a kind of a something that we recovered as like a niche thing But they turned into a whole a whole world of exploration Rounded so here is a dispatch from Q Interrupt this broadcast to bring you top secret intel from the QAnon anonymous podcast

You don't think QAA highlighted choppo for no reason. Did you those who were once protected are no longer? Timing is everything Hunters become prey focus on Menekar ear lobes 17% increase in diameter normal Clowns in America

What is DE dust can a KD ratio be negative? Failure to jiggle peak beaterman extradition already in motion effective yesterday Matthew 5 3 12 happy are those who have been persecuted for righteousness sake since the kingdom of heavens belongs to them Solar Christ man Symbolism will be their downfall. What did 46 mean by dark winter think frost? 2021 amber waves of grain frozen over in TX future proves past Virgil is 100% insulated white hat confirmed. Ask yourself. Why sailor hat? Wade intransitive verb to cross or pass through water with difficulty a deep dark world is being exposed

The truth won't be for everyone choppo party con choppo party playbook. Who are the real podcasters? Trap house leads to white house. The world is waking up Not long now Q Anon anonymous Happy birthday choppo happy birthday choppo happy birthday choppo happy birthday choppo Well, I love to hear from key. I mean, I obviously I love to hear from our friend Q

But I don't know those fucking dorks at the end where Q anonymous is it is by far the best look at the Q phenomenon They do an amazing and exhaustive job in an area of media where I feel like a lot of people Do not work as hard at it And it's like it's so easy to cover like it's so easy to bring it up I mean shit I've been bringing a cheap comedy material out of it for years now, but yeah, like they're putting in the work They actually know everything and I just want to say something about trill bullies, too

To the one before this trill bullies the reason that at first that they first grabbed my attention And the reason that I think they they It's been really fucking cool to see how well they've been doing in the past past four years They are a void They're like one of the only reasons why podcasts can be good, which is like they're not people. I would have known otherwise They're like I wouldn't have known people from Appalachia besides Amber and it's It's the highest thing a podcast can be which is Relating an experience of both despair and hope and

comedy in very Disparately different types of people. All right, we just got a few more to go through here Here is a nice little dispatch from your favorite pedophile hunting podcast Oh, I am glad you said that second part Yes, here we go wait, what are we doing? So we'll email the other day. It's like hey if I like pay you guys 500 bucks Can you do like some cameo shit for? Chewing on talk about it. Yeah, no

Well, I know and it's like the problem is is like, you know, we're like an anti pedophile podcast It's like we built our brand on that like I paid a bunch of fucking people to you know Make all these body counts or whatever and now it's like our association with them. I feel like tarnished is that You know everyone online. So it's like they don't have any girls There's no many girls on chop though. They hate women blah blah blah and it's like, I don't know every time I listen All I hear eight fucking bitches guys. We are recording Oh fuck. Thank you, Brayson. Liz. We're at Brayson Liz truenade truenade. I mean, uh, I Was just like, you know, like out of all the podcast they're like their podcast has broken my brain

Probably more than oh, yeah, like it's had that effect on me for sure and you know, it's a it's always it was always a joy to To share a stage with them in their hometown of San Francisco And it's always a joy too for you know a brace to make me play Russian roulette with him I will say You know, I've always loved to truenade But I became like a every episode listener over the summer as Molly and I Were moving and as we were packing and then on packing We were basically trading off playing on our in our portable speaker episodes of truenade for me and call her daddy

For Molly Combination I think gave us actual irreparable brain damage over the summer in in a very specific way It definitely made us both feel insane, but it's strengthened your marriage. Yes, absolutely We grew closer through it. Yes Yes, yeah, you go through something like that. You guys are just your rock solid This is a this is a new understanding you have of each other. I mean, yeah, what else can we say about race and Liz? Brace was one of our first like very big guest When he went over to Syria when he went over to fight with the YPG both for and then against them

That was one of our first big interviews and it was this is what one of the Things that really made me laugh about that was that it was one of the only media hits We did or he did so like if you were one of those like repulsive think tank Middle East watchers And you wanted to know what was up. You had to listen to our dumb shit That was awesome. But yeah, no braces I was very happy when I found out he was starting a show Brace has been a great friend great person to know whether he's yeah forcing you to play Russian roulette or

telling you about the best multi-use bathrooms in the Bay Area and They have created a great podcast that completely destroys the lives of its listeners in a way that most people never even dream of Shout-out of course also to producer young Chomsky the the gallant Producing to my goof is of leftist podcast producing and and lives who is single-handedly changed my opinions on the Polish All right, this is the seeking derangement boys Hey, y'all, it's your boy sweet Palma from seeking derangements Congratulations on hitting 500 episodes. I wanted to thank you guys specifically for helping us find our footing when we started

Our podcast last year. We certainly wouldn't be where we are now without your support For example, Ben wouldn't have Had the courage to push Scott Bixby onto the L train tracks after writing that awful hit piece on him last year Jacques wouldn't have discovered the potent chemical concoction. We are tentatively calling gumbo too And I wouldn't have moved to Spain to clear the ETA As a gay man, it's quite inspiring to see your show is so wonderfully queer coded From the targeted harassment of women with worn stickers on their Subaru outbacks to your deep distrust and suspicions of US Army veterans You've pleased yourselves in the pantheon of perverts alongside other illustrious queer political commentators

Like William F. Buckley Roy Cohn Barack Hussein Obama, and who can forget the real Donald Trump. It would be unfair to call you guys anything less than gay icons It just runs the gamut from Felix's body-fash otter tendencies Will's encyclopedic knowledge of VHS era film anyway Ambers unparalleled fag hat credentials Congratulations, gentlemen. Expect your f-fort passes in the mail shortly All I got to say is if my son's seeking derangement subscribers, I'm gonna sell them Darling boys

Niche in Palma yelling at Jacques to talk into the mic Jacques inventing new drugs and Ben slowly hating everything that is fun or enjoyable to anyone else They're well on their way last episode he said we should be illegal. I'm with them. Yeah. No, I'm glad he's part of the movement All right, let's move on to just our last two These are from folks who are more a little more recently in the chapeau world But have become extremely important. Of course The FYM boys

You know, this is Aaron Yeah, and this is Chet and Michael and we're chapeau FYM the guys you see on the twitch channel playing and you come in and ask Who are those guys we would have been here faster? We're on a call with our twitch rep because Felix showed his ass again on stream the other night Uh, yeah, we just wanted to thank you guys for inviting us into your stream into your homes I've been to Felix's apartment a couple times the first time I found about four dollars worth of change on the burner of a stove And the second time I got to play with this Morris Ian Thanos action thick not action figures Funko pops But they were all covered in a brown residue

500 episodes that's incredible great job everyone it is a Kind of stunning that you've recorded 500 episodes of a podcast yet still come on to the stream talking into a webcam But seriously guys, thank you Congratulations, and thank you so much for everything you've done You guys are just the most wonderful people and you guys deserve all the success you have and we look forward to see you guys continued success So Love you. Bye. Bye. I like the part about finding change because Felix used to

Sleep in I think track pants, but no shirt and then he didn't Take the change out. So he would be walking around the apartment shirtless with a bunch of change stuck to his back that you would then hear just like randomly Hit the ground like some sort of Chinese wind chimes except anti-semitic stereotype It was just shedding change everywhere. I've been told that's a pretty common thing I remember Matt do you remember when we were like we were a tour had just ended and we were like getting off a plane on the Yeah, like on the on the like the what are they we were getting off a fucking yeah Yeah, yeah, we were getting a yeah

He walked by me he walked by me and as he passed me a coin and Like a bottle cap just fell off of his body onto the floor But it was like it wasn't it wasn't clear though that like like how they had like come off of him He was just walking and they just sort of appeared behind him like like like Sonic had run into a wall or something That's a pretty common thing I mean like it's easy to have a coin stick to your back if you don't sleep with a shirt on like it's They find a way out of your pockets or out of your wallet They they're sort of designed to stick to your back so you don't lose them and they can stay on you for several hours

Multiple people told me that this is a regular thing. Well, yeah, you know, we love all the FYM boys I love the stream and I mean honestly If you're out there and like you want smoke there is not a single person on the planet who can beat Michael a geoguessor I mean, I am I am I'm astonished at how good he is at that like it's It's not he doesn't even like move the fucking camera like playing the game. It's it's uncanny. He's like fucking Yeah, he's he's gifted at that shit. So I mean if there is a geoguessor challenger out there I mean, you know rise rise to take to take the throne and I will The FYM boys have started their new

Patreon Where they do not have to follow the same TOS that you do on twitch So later this week I will be recording part two of the Varg stream that I did with Aaron And we'll finally be able to watch a Varg and Dan Quinn and demonious ex videos and a nation of Islam video that I love That are TOS on twitch and that will be available as videos on demand So very excited for that Just one more toast from our good friend Dan Besser

And I think that this one does a good job of some summing up the political project that we have going on here If I remember correctly, so here is our last toast. Hey guys, it's Danny Bessner I just wanted to congratulate you on this milestone. You've accomplished so much I mean it took the Soviet Union 74 years to destroy socialism And you did in only 500 episodes Anyway, I can't wait to see what you all will do next Especially now that Bernie lost and there's no real reason for you to exist Mazel tov

There we go and in just enclosing I would like to take like, you know a message to You know our fans and a message to my co-hosts like first a message to the fans, you know I mean obviously we couldn't do this without you and you know, like it's 500 episodes I would like to make a pledge to you the listener for the next 500 that you know, we will never sell out and By sell out, I mean the only people we could sell out to are you the listener the subscribers So I just want to make it clear we will never sell out to you by Liking you respecting you doing the things you want us to do Listening to you taking any criticism no matter how mild or well-intentioned

Definitely never gonna do anything of that. Don't even try never gonna do better Never gonna talk about the things you want us to still gonna be doing movie episodes Still just like never gonna sell out to you guys. So like that's my absolute. That's my absolute pledge to you the listener and then to my co-hosts, I gotta say like, you know over the over the course of Doing this show My life is a you know I changed in a lot of ways and then like almost all of them for the better in fact overwhelmingly for the better and I was thinking about it the other day and if I had to think about the very best times

I've had in my life the hardest I've ever laughed and the things I've done that I'm the most proud of Over overwhelmingly the majority of those experiences would be in the the choppo era and in the company of You find people and it's something that I'll always keep with me and it's just uh, I love you I mean, what else can I say like it just there there are a few A blessed is a man who can call himself a choppo I still like Never take it for granted. This is the most insane turn of events and

It's the funnest job in the world and it shouldn't even really exist And yeah, I consider myself lucky every day even though I live in a personal hell Because all my friends are here paint the compensation. It's not bad I'll post some cringe for a second I was going through our list of patreon subscribers in a big excel sheet the other day just For some demographic stuff that I was looking at and I found out you could order it by Date of when somebody has subscribed And if you would like quit and resubscribe you get shuffled to the top so as you get to the bottom you see the

People who have been the longest consistent subscribers since the show started and when you get down to the very top You see a lot of familiar names. You see your david roths. You see your kath krugers You see a friend of a long time reager. Krieger Krieger Krieger A long time friend of the show Shannon struzzy Is way up. I think in the top ten, but the number one name on that list is chris wade Which makes me I think the Official wow number one choppo fan, which I'll show honestly shocked

Even me uh when I know chris you can listen to the the premium ones for free. You don't need to subscribe Yeah, you make them It all I it always felt too weird to just Click the on subscribe button from it because you know what I love the show And before I started working for you guys when I was still working in bad web media stuff This show was a fucking breath of fresh air And because nobody else will say it I I honestly just have to do some praise for us is like The this is one of the number one greatest success stories of like independent media of the last five years. It is a

unparalleled success of independent podcasting in general media and in total and I am extremely proud to work for this You guys pick me up at a period after a period of long very hopeless Unemployment for me and you guys saved my life from something that would have been way way way more mediocre and Uh, honestly podcasting with you has been the pleasure of my life Uh, and if we were on the titanic going down, I would pull out the uh the the sound mixing board to get crank out one more episode Are you listening james cameron? Are you out there? Can you hear me deep in your in the pit of your stomach?

Now this is the greatest job in the world and every day I'm endlessly grateful to all of you Grateful for will for steering the ship of state in ways Chris for steering the ship of state that also don't require email mad for his immense historical knowledge and recall and always and always novel and breathtaking ways of looking at the world Amber for the same thing

Amber one of the most pivotal people I have ever known in my entire life Uh, my life would Be completely different had I not moved in with her when I moved here I probably would be I probably would have been my halloween character. I probably would have turned into that guy Uh, but no and you the listener Uh, this thank you for giving me the greatest job in the world for making me one of the luckiest people alive It's so fun. It literally every day. It's like I cannot believe this happened Yeah, uh, just I mean, I guess

I by going last it's pretty great because you guys all said the stuff and I can just say ditto Because uh, I agree Everything you've said it's been true of me too The show has been the greatest thing to happen to me and it's because of you guys and because of the people listening and uh And yeah, it all just feels unreally blessed and uh, I feel very very fortunate And I guess just on a final note to everyone who uh contributed a uh a roast to this episode and are thinking oh Like, you know, when will when will ask me to do this and I bet you're feeling pretty good about getting a couple zingers in there I got one thing to say to you

When I asked you when I asked you when the fuck did I ever ask you to do anything without me? You personally wouldn't fucking exist Cheers guys, here's an all honesty Here's to another 500 episodes guys. Love all of you. Well see everybody on thursday Yep All right, bye everybody Hey, this is trevor from champagne sharks. I gotta say When I first heard chapel

I was like this is a funny ass show. This is hilarious and it is serving a market that is People don't even know exists, but it is way too niche and Way too insider baseball. So I love it But there's only 20 of the most postingest people including myself that will be able to appreciate it and I will enjoy this for the 20 episodes that it is likely the last and

I will be happy that I got to see Brilliant underappreciated Show for the short time it existed and boy was I wrong and I'm glad Love y'all be good. Keep it up and hope y'all get 500 more. I cannot believe this many weirdos exist Hey guys international film correspondent Matt V Brady here. I just wanted to congratulate you guys on 500 episodes of chapeau trap house or as I like to think of it the 512th episode of the emo prog army radio hour Seriously though guys, it's an amazing achievement I'm really proud of all of you and it's just still wild to me to think that my friends from the computer are all

Major league democratic party operatives now. So well done Hey amber and the rest it's dawn Congratulations on episode 500 Um having you yell about the cia in my ear every week twice a week for years has actually made me happier and more optimistic Um, it's the kind of thing I used to bumble to myself at the mall walking around alone And uh now to get it from you guys makes me feel a little bit more sane Um, you spawned a lot of jargon and spin-offs and clones over the years And I think that's actually a really great thing. Um, it can be annoying when the millionth chud gets corn cobbed in your replies

Um, but there's something vital there that is helping build an alternative to our geo hell Um, and hey, there's a concept that works 20 million other chapeaus emerge But no matter how many fish in the sea, it will be so empty without you. Thanks guys So Hello everyone, we're here tonight in beautiful las vegas to celebrate chapeau trap house A podcast with many fans and no critics Is they don't have covet here they cheer co there's no covet in vegas, you know head out to vegas Go to the casinos have some fun. There's no covet here. You're gonna have a great time. You're gonna have a great time

You ever yeah, you ever listen to the show? Uh, never but wow 100 episodes. That's so many 100 episodes mr. Bean. I'm always saying this mr. Bean has accomplished so much And you know how many episodes he had? Only fucking 15 one of them was a fucking clip show is that true with those 15 episodes He was able to revolutionize the medium and dominate the spirit of our era And now mr. Bean culture is inescapable I mean you can't even leave a man alone in a room with a priceless painting without trusting him not to sneeze on it

The guy that's lost vegas had a picture of mr. Bean in his jacket. That's right You know drill a lot of people think chapeau trap house is popular just because it's the world's first podcast, but Uh, I think the real reason is uh sex appeal That's right. They love it. They love them women. Uh, you know the people are out there. They're always saying making these wild claims They're always saying uh, the average chapeau fan has never seen a pussy But that's ridiculous because when they turn into the chapeau twitch stream, they see about five of them every time And that's why tonight we're presenting a 21 gun salute in honor of the chicks of chapeau

That's right the babes This one's for the ladies number five Naomi Klein or as I like to call her Naomi fine This canadian queen is known as the bad girl of the left Then we've got number three red scare podcast Dasha and Natasha of the red scare podcast. I'm reading this off a cue cards

These little firecrackers are known as the bad girls of the left and without them chapeau wouldn't have any shows in the related podcast section Not hosted by guys who look exactly like them We've got number two what else number two often called the fifth chapeau will minnaker Oh boy And finally I don't think there would be a chapeau trap house without this chick Because of her bad reputation this chick is sometimes known as the bad girl of the left number one Hillary Clinton

Who's that she used to be president you did ladies you're president now I hope you enjoy you know inflicting pain upon the male race. She's a bad girl. She's a little firecracker She's got those fucking jeans on all the time walking around them jeans Looking fine as hell. She's got a pant suit that could fit two men in there. That suit makes me pant Because I'm attracted to it. Well you well you want to fuck her. I mean, yeah You want to fuck? Yeah, that's my thing. That's my deal right now Thank you. Uh, thank you chapeau Uh for having us on in the future

Thank you. Thank you for letting us do this for free