Chapo Trap House - 508 - Questions for Boys feat. Katherine Krueger (3/23/21)

Episode Date: March 23, 2021

It’s the Spring sex & relationships issue of Chapo! We’re joined by our Women’s correspondent Katherine Krueger who takes the popular TikTok trend “Questions for Boys” and applies it to the Dry Boys. We then turn to the National Review to ask why conservatives are suddenly so gaga about the Royal Family. Finally, we see if we can find common ground with Boss Ross Douthat about getting Americans horny. SMASH that preorder button for Amber’s new book: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250269621 SUBSCRIBE TO DISCOURSE BLOG: get 30% off a new annual subscription to Discourse Blog at discourseblog.com/subscribe with code BIRTHDAY on Tuesday

Greetings, Grey Wolves, Amber Lee Frost here, coming to you from my secret writing layer, where I'm in edits on my forthcoming book, Dirtbag, now on pre-order. But Amber, I hear you say, I can't read anything that's not on a screen anymore. Don't worry, Dirtbag is written by ADHD for ADHD. Rapid cycling through memoir, journalism, essay, and shit talk. Go fast, you'll feel like you're just scrolling through the timeline, having fun with your friends online, and Dirtbag is full of dirt. You'll get politics.

So are you guys ready for a radical idea? Yes! Got it. I hear she does car commercials in Japan. Violence. Ah! Sex. Oh.

Oh. And the most dangerous game? Podcasting. What a fucking stupid show. Holy shit. So click the damn link in pre-order Dirtbag. Not for me, but for spite. Because if enough people buy my book, the New York Times has to print it.

And they're gonna hate that. Are y'all a fan of TikTok? You like TikToks? Yes, dude. Oh my god. The way the socialist kids on there, like, when they do a dance and there's a label that says, like, depression, and then there's one that says capitalism, and then there's one that says my teacher, and then there's one that says, uh, a 35-year-old man from Twitter

harassing me and TikToks, you know what I'm saying? Um, dude, watch out, Jeff Kisses of Amazon. It's the hottest new social media platform, and I think that we need to get in on some of its trends. And one of the big trends on TikTok now is questions for boys. It's like, you know, you're supposed to duet, you know, it's like a duet as a feature on TikTok where you can sort of, like, answer people's questions directly to them. And I think we could do a version of these for us, and this is MustCredit Microscene,

who's doing some amazing work on TikTok these days. Please check out Microscene. Microscene, yeah. Microscene's the way he's taken the video. He's the only media entity that did a good job pivoting the video. So he's been, he's been- The only one in history. Uh, Racine has been doing, um, Yeoman's work, um, answering questions about boys from girls.

But for today's episode, I thought we would kick things off with questions from a real-life girl. I, I've brought one with me. Hi, it's me, a girl. Damn, WME came in good. They have girls. Shout out to our agents for getting a girl. All right, boys, are you ready for this?

This is Questions for Boys, part one, like for part two. Do you like blondes or do you like brunettes? Gotta be, um, team blonde all the way. You gotta keep this rapid fire. Team blonde. Well, I, of course, you know, when we watch the movie, uh, uh, Unforgettable or whatever the fuck it was called, the John Stuart movie about how, you know, we should solve problems. Uh, I, I like a type of, uh, very cruel blonde woman.

But really any type of hair is fine, really. I think they're all beautiful. Yeah, bald, preferably, honestly. Hair is fascist. Does it piss you off when we can't figure out where to eat? Oh my God, nothing gets me more tilted. Nothing gets me more fucking tilted. All right, calm down, calm down.

I mean, like just, you're asking me what to eat for dinner. I give you, I give you an answer and then it's like, no, not that. Save this, save this for a relationship therapist. Well, this is just for Thursday. Okay. It's just, you're here to ask TikTok questions. Okay. All right.

All right, babe. All right. I'm going to, I'm going to flip it on its head here when, you know, you're doing the thing with a girl where she's like, I don't know, where do you want to eat? Uh, they like it when you take command and by take, go, I don't know, I'm hungry and then say that you have a stomach ache and sort of like crawl on the floor and let out something that's more pathetic than a cry, you're too weak to cry. I, I, obviously it's always irritating when you can't decide on what to have for dinner,

but I can't get too angry because I will admit that I in general, uh, have a difficult time picking to that Libra energy and just can't make a choice. So I sympathize with the ladies on that one, but, uh, yeah, of course it's always irritating. I'm a, I'm a Gemini. So sometimes I want sushi. Sometimes I want a Samsung galaxy. And sometimes you want both. Yeah.

I like, I, I don't know. I, um, you know, every five years when I'm with a girl and we're figuring out to eat, it can get irritating, but I, from growing up around women, like a lot of people don't know this. My mom's actually a woman. I have a process of elimination. Women were, women were very important to Felix's childhood growing up. Yeah.

There's a huge deal. Like the two main things, the three things for me were stairs. That was big stairs for a big part of my childhood women because of my mom and my sister, of course, and, uh, Christmas, those are the three things, but, uh, so you just, you got to narrow it down. Like it can get annoying, but you can be like, okay, like, um, what's your name again? Like what are you a vegetarian? I forgot.

We, we probably talked about it for two hours. I was looking at my phone. They updated the dark souls or Wikipedia. Um, okay, dude. Are you, if you're a vegan, do you want to eat like a vegan sandwich where they, you know, make a piece of wheat that they says, uh, hamburger or do you want to, do you want to bowl? Are you one of those bowl?

Are you, are you one of those bowl women? A lot of women are bowl ladies. Women love food bowls. I do love a food bowl. Women love food bowls. So, you know, it's because, yeah, it's because a bowl is sort of a puzzle. It's like, you've got to find out where the peas are and the lettuce and it's like, it's what you give to higher primates.

I'm not saying women are apes. I'm not saying that at all, but I'm saying that they find it to be an enrichment exercise and typically like if your girlfriend is like letting out high pitched like screams and like scratching the walls and biting you, it's because she isn't getting enough enrichment and you have to give her more bowls. And perhaps she doesn't know where to eat because she's not getting enough enrichment. Food for thought. Yeah.

Let's go to the next question. Do you notice when we like other guys tweets? No, I'm not. I'm not about that. That jealousy is for that's for Connors. I'm a wolf. So, you know, if you're if you're a true alpha, you don't concern yourselves with the likes of sheep.

I don't. I really like don't concern myself too much. I do have put spyware on every computer and I know when she's so much as hovers over the avi of another man. And I will tell both the man whose tweets you faved, avi, she enlarged likes, you know, she looked at and her that I will kill myself. I mean, it's like, you know, liking another guy's tweets. That's one thing.

I'm liking another guy's podcast. You know, if you're a relationship, you're a podcaster. And let's say your girlfriend, like your podcast is probably like their, I don't know, generously third or fourth favorite podcast behind come down and YKS. You know, like that can, you know, even even someone enlightened by grim and brutal truths can sometimes, you know, be, you know, a little bit, a little bit get a little sensitive about that. You know, like what what a girlfriend is for is to push you to always be your best, always

be pushing you to be better, always, always competing with other alpha males. So if I were you, I would be I would be thanking any theoretical girlfriend for that. You're right. Iron sharpens iron. And, you know, like the cumboys and chopper, it's just like we got a we're like the iron smashing against each other. And by that, I mean our dicks. And Catherine's hurt as usual.

I mean, I can, I don't like, I don't have a girlfriend. I don't. Oh, you heard it here first folks. Felix is single. I don't want anyone. I walk alone. I stand alone. God smack.

But I do have a family and my, my podcast is the second favorite podcast in the family. You could, I don't know if anyone's a student enough to guess what their favorite podcast is, but let's put it this way. Everyone in my family who isn't me is a woman or a gay man. So, you know, what do you think it is? But that's OK because it's like, OK, that's like, I don't make one of those. They make one of those. And like, you know, it's the way that's the way the ball rolls.

Yeah. I'm not. I'm not hurt by it. The separation of podcasting laborers. Are you ready for another question? It is. Oh, yeah. It's the one thing you really wish we knew about Dude's Rock.

That it's that they do. I wish they would accept it once and for all. I wish when what I wish women would know about Dude's Rock is that Dude's Rock and they're going to keep on rocking. Yeah. There's nothing. They honestly, more than anything, it's accept it because it will not stop. Dudes aren't going to stop rocking anytime soon.

I don't think dudes can fully rock without women rocking. Wow, OK, shout out to all the women. This is like, this is like the fine Felix, a girlfriend, telethon right here. Yeah. Felix, you will not, you will not, you will not get a smoke show by going full Connor on our podcast. No, I mean, this is, no, this is a new thing that's neither Connor nor Mubarak. This is like sort of a Sigma type.

Oh, it's just a Sigma male. You've removed yourself from the hierarchy. Yeah. His name is like, he's French Canadian. It's Etienne, being an Etienne. Felix is going to remake the Rupi Kaur, the honey video soon. Oh, you guys, you guys see that? Yeah.

Did you see it? Actually, can we keep watch that? Yeah, I did. Oh, I'm going to send it to Chris right now. This is all women's favorite artist, Rupi Kaur. OK, hold on a sec. It's the only... It's the poet, the poetess.

It's the only poet that women are allowed to like, she's very Instagram-able. All right, here we go. Yeah. Putting it in the chat. Now, let's get some of that, let's get some of that live laugh love going as poetry. You must have known you were wrong. No, I didn't. When your fingers were dipped inside me, searching for honey that would not come for you.

I mean, it's just like, OK, OK, fellas, fellas, if you got your fingers in there searching for honey, you're looking in the wrong plot, looking in the wrong space. I am notorious for my finger-blessing technique, where that's the scientific name, I don't know why people are laughing, that's what my doctor calls it when he tells me to stop doing this. Got the rubitis. You put it in there. You want to kind of like put your ring finger over your middle finger, because this gives

you hypertrophy in the forearms. And he put it in there. And then what I do is I put it in there. I make sort of like an ampersand shape, and then I pull it out and I lick my fingers off. And I go, ooh, that's the stuff. That's good stuff. And there have been a lot of articles written about me in babe.com, about how good I am at that.

They're sort of the opposite of these ease and sorry articles. They're like, local man does awesome thing. I just want to know why this lady is trying to have sex with Winnie the Pooh. How are you going to say yes to a dude whose pickup line is, oh, bother. Come on, Winnie. Winnie the Pooh. More self-respect, please. He's been in entertainment for like 70 years.

He's so rich. Winnie the Pooh is like a billionaire. He's got some fucking pants then. He's so goddamn rich. My first draft of this poem was the same except he was fishing around in there with Dorito dust hands, like looking for that last chip. He's looking for his keys. That's good for women's entire thing when you get that dust in there.

Yeah, you should treat a woman's pussy just like a couch. Things fall in there all the time. You got to vacuum. There's always some kind of mystery crumb. Sometimes there's something sticky in there. A woman is not a crust of bread that fell off your back after you fell asleep on your couch. A man isn't a sable that you found outside and you're like, I rescued it.

You're right. They're never as cute or as intelligent or as good to train with tricks. Yeah. Most men can't do the tricks a sable can do. All right. Any more questions for boys? Yes. Can women be funny?

No. Can we really be funny? Do at this with your answers. I am, you guys are going to call me a conner for this, but this is unironic. Women and men are funny and unfunny at the same rates. I feel like everyone's, the whole thing of women aren't funny, it's like there are a lot of men who make other men laugh just by quoting Anchorman and that's not really being funny.

There's no really woman equivalent to that, but the way women are funny is incredibly fucking mean and elaborate. In my experience, in my experience with maybe it's just the women in my family, but I don't think it is. I think the female equivalent of the Anchorman thing, I do think there's still a subspecies of women where they still quote mean girls to each other. I think that's the... Yeah.

No. That's true. That's true, but I do think my addendum to this is that that type of funny woman is very underrepresented in media because the type of shit they do give you is who loves shopping. That's like, I don't know, I think about a lot of very cruel, funny women I know. There's not a lot in media that is like that. I think because people react really negative to that. If a man and a woman tell equally mean jokes, people will get madder at the woman because

the woman's supposed to be good. I think it's just a matter of different energies. It's just like, if you see a guy and he's being funny, it's like it's making you laugh. If you see a woman and she's being funny, it's making you think, sort of going, that's true. That's a joke that it made me go, hmm, you know? Makes you think about how we live in a society, whereas male laughs are kind of ephemeral. You don't think about that joke again.

Yeah. A male laughter is like when I see someone get hurt. I'm like, female laughter is like when I see my country hurting. Some of the funniest accounts I follow are also things I'm afraid to even faith because it would cause like a five day thing if people saw it, like so fucking mean. That's mostly girls. So women are funnier than men is what you're saying. Just different energies.

Different energies. Different energies. They have a far greater capacity for verbal cruelty in a way that I think is amazing. A lot of people out there say women aren't funny, but they're thinking of one person in particular who's not funny. They're not thinking of like, for instance, a wealthy Dowager getting pie on her or like falling down stairs. What about, what if a suburban mom danced to a rap song?

Damn. Not that's funny. That would be pretty funny. That is funny. You know what? I mean, there's a lot of that on TikTok. So maybe it's just like TikTok is the female comedy app. There are a lot.

Women on TikTok are getting funnier and it's making men nervous. I mean, like men would rather answer girls' questions on TikTok than go to therapy. That's right. That's right. Is that a joke? I don't know. But it kind of makes you think though. It makes you think.

Like and share. I'm going to see if I can get banned from TikTok for a very specific type of hate speech. I think you would do well on TikTok, Felix. I have to find a face narrowing list. Then I'm going to go on TikTok. Just do it, man. Just let the face, sell ads on the face. Just replace it.

Yeah. One cheekbone starts in my bathroom, one goes to the foyer of my building. But I can write things like capitalism and depression on them. Well, there we go. For those, the thing is funny or not, if you ask a woman to do something like come up with some TikTok questions for you, I asked for TikTok questions. She gave me $6, $75, no, I'm giving her $100. You guys have the model relationship.

Will you take Catherine to, you'll go on like a cute day trip to Hawaii from New York? Very true. Very true. I mean, obviously not recently. But you know, it's just like I gave Catherine's up every day before eight o'clock doing her job. All true. Just reading books.

Yes, sir. Getting smarter. Looking beautiful. For that, you got to pay. You got to give her some money. That's right. It's just the way to be nice. The way to relate to women is by giving them money.

This is what I've learned. Buying them Louis Vuitton's and putting them all in a closet for them to find someday. I have probably 70 Birkin bags. I give to Catherine just as a surprise. We've gone through about 30 of them so far over the car through our relationship, but I want to keep things fun and interesting by just breaking them out, breaking them out when when Catherine does something good like get up in the morning. Most women can't get up in the morning after a word that like it if you have a good relationship

like Will and Catherine have, it should cost the man $17.5 million a year. It does. It does. And it does. Yeah. No, it does. And thanks to the credit derivative swabs we've been selling, you know, Will's able to fund that lifestyle.

I'm actually trying to get into I'm only going to start charging you in Bitcoin soon. You know, I was big early into crypto for wife taxes. If you if you can come up consistently with what you want to eat for dinner or what TV show you want to watch. That's another Birkin bag right there. That's the feels incredibly targeted. That's not that's not OK. All right, that was that was questions for boys.

Buy a girl. We're back and as you might have surmised already, our guest for today's show, Johnny me along with Felix and Matt is, of course, Catherine Krieger of discourse blog. Hello. Hello. This is a big get. This is a coup for us. Yeah.

I had to I didn't even have to change rooms. I just had to move six inches over Catherine was like what like our like third guest ever. I was a little bit later than that early early on in the show. I think I was like your third subscriber. And when Will and I started dating, I was like, you know, at what point can I just like can I just trim that extra five bucks a month? But I'm still hanging on because that's that's that's women supporting men right there. Thank you.

Yes. All right. Well, let's let's start the show for real this time. And do you guys see Joe Biden falling his ass walking upstairs there first one? It was pretty good. Yeah. Immediately classic. There's nothing funny about the carpet fell off the stairs and he got rolled up into

it and spun for two hours and they couldn't stop him. A bunch of eagles picked up the carpet and dropped it down a chimney and he wrote he rolled down a chimney and like fell that fell out and spit sewed out of his mouth and said, whoa, special delivery, man. And every time he tried to stand up, he stood on another rake and got beamed in the nose. This reminded me of like one of the well, I actually got I got in trouble when Splinter RIP still existed at multiple times, but one of the things I got in the most trouble for next to the 9-11 tweet was I had this headline about Mitch McConnell when he fell

down and it was bitch McConnell fall down. And I didn't know we had polio at or you know, had had polio. So they made me like, you know, change the headline, you know, so old that mother was seen as ableist, you know, in some circles of the Internet. So you know, I made sure polio Twitter went wild. Oh yeah. I was, I was Googling has Joe Biden had polio just to make sure I was on firm ground with this one.

Splinter got so many angry telegrams after Catherine has like a specific, like everyone has like a group of people that yell at them the most. For me, it's active members of massage, but for Catherine, it's like conservatives who like pretend to be offended by things where it's yeah, absolutely a guy, a guy who works for the child molestation Institute is like, wow, real nice for anyone reading polio who saw this is like, he's the only living guy with any polio scar right for childbuggers.com. And I think it's frankly disturbing that you would be allowed to tweet this. Yeah.

I mean, the funny thing about Joe Biden, I'm trying repeatedly and failing to walk upstairs is that like it's immediately it's just in the funniest way possible, and like people have chosen their sides on this in a way that directly, directly contradicts exactly the position they were taking when Trump was president on both sides. Like it's really good. Like I'm looking at a fan of this website, I don't know if you guys have heard of it. It's called Snopes.com. It's sort of a sort of a good resource to determine what things are true.

Can we get a fact check on this? Yeah. No. So this is Snopes.com. What? Did Biden fall on stairs to Air Force One rating mostly false. Excuse me? We all saw that shit.

We all saw that shit. We all saw that shit. I watched that shit. He fell. His ass fell down. Nope. Three times. Snopes is gaslighting us.

Snopes is gaslighting us now. And it says you're mostly false. And it says what's true? President Biden appears to have stumbled and slightly lost his footing while climbing the stairs onto Air Force One. He did. Like he fell. He fell three times.

It was not slightly. Again and again and again. Yeah. But this was like, yeah. And it goes, what's false? President Biden did not fall completely. The president gained his footing and composure moments after a brief tumble. President Kennedy had a brief issue finishing the motorcycle, mostly able to finish it.

The back of President Kennedy's skull took a slight tumble. This is not an original observation, but you really can trace the degradation of internet culture in the way that Snopes went from a very handy source to find out like, is Mikey the kid from the life serial? Did he actually explode from eating pop rocks or not? And just be able to clear through some of the, you know, the bric-a-brac of urban legends to now it's just DNC press releases. Just pure pop rock.

Actually, Obamacare is better than Medicare for all. That's mostly true. Like, like, actually, it turns out that the whole thing about like us, some sort of objective criteria, like determining the validity of a truth statement, no, we're here to just like kind of tell you how you should feel about the news. A watershed Snopes moment for me was googling whether or not Brian Peppers was dead. So that's how far we've fallen. I hope not.

I love those X-Men movies. But you know, like all the fucking like the guys who like made their bones just like sharing a video of Trump doing anything, like people found like all their tweets from like when he was drinking water funny or when he slid down that ramp awkwardly, where they were like, um, walking up the stairs challenge, go. How about, how about, I would love to see Biden and Trump have a stair walking competition. A water drink off. Yeah.

Like, I want a president who can sip water the normal way, and then like, and then hilariously for their point, like all the, all the, all the Trump people are like, this is, this is really, I mean, we can't have a president who can't walk upstairs. Like, you know, like, like ignoring the like hundreds of like jaw droppingly stupid and just generally like strange and questionable things that Trump did and said and like, not just like said, but like with his body, the way, the way his body, like moves through his face is just so bizarre. The way he carries, I'm missing the way he carries his body through space.

Honestly. Nobody did bodies in spaces like Trump did. I mean, that's. He did. He did it with such panache. I was thinking a lot about the guy. He was a body in a space. He sure was.

It's such a unique way of breathing and walking that, you know, grasping objects. It's just not a way that would inspire confidence when it's the leader of your country. You know what I mean? Did you? Okay. And best of all, did you see, did you see Madison Cawthorne's take where he was just like, he was like, the world is a windy place. We need a president who can stand and I was like, maybe he like doesn't know.

He can't walk. He's like, lock from lost. And I do love all. I can't leave DC, it's the only place I can walk. I do love the liberals are just like, yeah, but Trump, Trump, Trump was, uh, he, he never fell down. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Yes. He had the thing with the stairs where he held the hand of the general, which was funny, but he never fell on his ass. I'm sorry. This, and if he had, you would have shit yourself about how you need, he needed the fucking 25th amendment immediately. I'm going to write a take about how I actually don't want a president who can walk upstairs without tripping.

And like, that's, um, it's, it's a, it's an op of some kinds. He's doing dominance politics. Do you think that Trump, do you think that Trump, like he was able to walk up the stairs and he just wanted to hold the general's hand? It's like kind of what I think he does love. He loves, he loves the generals. He loves the generals. He loves the generals.

Big guy. How, how much money would you would have given, would you have given to just like see Trump be able to live tweet that, that reaction to him watching the falling down video though? We need him back on Twitter. We need him back on Twitter. We've lost so much. Apparently you guys, he's going to launch his own platform soon. Um, give, give your routing number, social security number and checking account number

to join the, join, um, uh, Trump app. Yeah. You'll be instantly, uh, identity that stolen, but you get to see the tweets. It's worth it. Well, I mean, once that happens, then we can just get the screenshots on Twitter, but like, I just think like a, a big part about like if we're ever going to return to normal, like we need to give, we need to let, we just didn't acknowledge like, yeah, like, okay, it was bad when he was president and it was dangerous, but now that he's just a guy with

a golf course, it's funny as hell. Like we, we need his thoughts. There needs to be a path back for former presidents to be funny again. You know, they shouldn't just be, be cast out of the public square forever. I mean, especially since you can't even honestly really make an argument anymore that he was worse than Biden on any of the major stuff. Like, uh, is Biden's turning the screws on Iran the same way that Trump did. He's bring doing brinksmanship with China the way that Trump did.

There's 5,000 kids in cages right now, fucking stacking up migrant children at the border the way that Trump did. By the way, what is the distinction I'm supposed to make? It really is like, what kind of old guy do you prefer? What kind of seniority do you like watching? And I say both. Why not both? This is a girl from the, uh, from the El Paso taco commercial said have them both be president.

I actually just checked Snopes and the girl from the El Paso salsa commercial did not fall into a corn thresher after filming that line that wasn't mostly false. Um, but yeah, like it's just, uh, it's just a competition now again to like who can, who can directly invalidate their position on is it, is it important that a president be able to walk from like three months ago to today? Cause yeah, like it just, I mean, you remember how funny it was when Trump got COVID? That was hilarious. That was very funny.

That was a great day. That was one of the funniest, uh, like week long periods of the entire presidency. And then when he got suited up on steroids and was told, talked about who got gay and wanted to kiss everybody. And then he did that. He did that weird walk to, uh, to the helicopter. It was great. No, but like, and now if you, if you laugh at Biden falling down stairs, like you have

to get like deal with like the chorus of people who are like, um, yeah, like, I know you think you're funny about your joke about Biden falling down the stairs are funny and you're laughing at it. But all your friends who are also, uh, 85 year old presidents, um, with declining mental capacity are also seeing these and they don't think it's so funny. Well, I'll tell you right now. As somebody who falls down a lot, uh, it's very funny and I give anybody permission to laugh at it.

They have it. There you have it. Yeah. You have it. Well, uh, moving on to a, uh, another topic that, uh, I'm thinking about this week, um, is like, you know, we, we, we talked briefly about the, uh, the Harry and Meghan interview with, uh, with Oprah and you know, like they're, they're, they're taken down the royal family. You know, I mean, like it's over, it's over.

It's over. The free ride is over for these bums. They're getting kicked out the British empire, the Commonwealth, uh, common poor more like it. Cause this shit is done. This shit is done. I mean, if people found out that these fucking amaze, just emaciated lizards have like slightly retrograde social attitudes regarding race and gender, then I think the whole fucking

house of cards is coming down. But the interesting thing here now is that like because this has now been, you know, uh, absorbed into this like, uh, you know, culture war, like, you know, uh, just race and gender debate. Like conservatives now have to take a position on it that it like, you know, I wouldn't say it directly contradicts their previous like, it's not like they've ever, they've always had kind of an affection for monarchy because they, they obviously hate democracy, but it's sort of like the British monarchy in particular, like they, I think they, am I crazier did

they seem to like used to have a little bit more brio about the American revolution and like, you know, overflowing King George, the tyrant and stuff like that. But now like, I just have this piece here in national review about how good, uh, Britain's monarchy is and how important it is for America. And it's just, there's just an odd thing going on here now where it's just like, they, because they view that like the left is attacking, you know, Prince Philip and Queen Elizabeth, they have to defend them. The left poses an existential threat to the British monarchy.

You know, I mean, someone, someone's got to defend them. Yeah. And it is like, I have to say, like I'm used to some pretty lame shit with like left, right culture wars, but this is the shittiest one. Oh, brutal. Like we kind of, we kind of, we got to get the resin out of the pipe here. We're running out of shit. We got to go fucking look at those across the pond to fucking get mad about something.

Mr. Potato Head doesn't cut it anymore. And that was like two weeks ago. I knew this guy from who is like an opiate addict and he told me that he would, uh, like when he was out of pills, he would lick white t-shirts that had residue of the pill by an opiate. He's actually doing really well now, but I just like always shout out to that guy. No, that guy, no, that guy is like fucking on his shit now. He's a good guy, but, uh, I mean, it's like the, he probably has no idea that the podcast

exists or I use that as an example, but that's what, that's what, uh, I'll give his full name in the premium episode if you guys want to. Yeah. Everyone, everyone go, go find that guy. Let him know. This is the equivalent of that because it's like, we got a hint of this in, you know, when Trump visited the UK and was like, Oh, look at all the shade Queen Elizabeth is doing.

And it's like, yeah, they've never met a guy. They've never met anyone as awful as Donald Trump, a racist sex guy who hangs out with Jeffrey Epstein, who's like kind of a pedophile or something. Like that's the first they've ever seen of someone like that. It's not at all what every man in that family is fucking like. This was like, didn't this interview happen like, uh, about a week or so after the report came out, just apropos of nothing that the, that, uh, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip travel with blood, yeah, blood, their own supply of blood, their blood, as they bought

it. Bloodborne is real. I don't, I don't know who doesn't do that every, all my homies do that. I mean, what are people, if not blood bags, I mean, like your, your body, is it a sense like a portable blood transportation vehicle? Yeah. So why is it so messed up to take your own blood out of your body and then you're, you're putting it back?

Zero percent chance that it's their blood by the way, my body, my choice, they bought that blood on the, on the fucking black market. They got it at, uh, at Jimmy Savile row. That's where they went down. That's like what I thought it's like limited hangout. It's like, Oh no, we travel with blood. Definitely our own bloods, their own silly. It's not, it's not from orphans and you know, like this idea that like the left is attacking

the monarchy. I mean, I suppose if you're on the left, like being anti-monarchist is, you know, pretty, pretty standard position. But I gotta say, if you're talking about America, there's only been one man who's taken the correct position on the royal family this entire time and he is neither left nor right. He is Lyndon LaRouche and he knows that Queen Elizabeth is the world's biggest drug dealer in America. Yep.

He never spared those limey freaks. No, he's like, he's like, he's, he actually never like, there is never a moment where anyone could have told him earned or like do better, but especially not now. Like he was so right about everything. I mean, also the thing about classical music, of course, very, very many pitches, the only legitimate pitch. That's massive facts. We should bring him back to life.

I mean, I know that technology exists. Yeah. It's 100% does. Yeah. You should bring him back. Joe Biden probably dies like every day and it's like they just, they just bring him back. Yeah.

And yeah, why not? Why not him? Just reading from the national review here, it says, the left's demolition campaign has a better chance of succeeding today thanks to the stupefying ignorance of the history of Britain's constitutional monarchy, which afflicts even the most highly educated. Now is a ripe time to refresh our memories of the monarchy and recall the debt which Americans owe, the political ideals and institutions it helped create. So he's going to give a little history lesson here about the monarchy and he says here,

no other political system at the time, anywhere in the world, upheld these basic concepts of justice foundational to the American constitutional order. They still have no place in many parts of the world today. The British monarchy, despite its often contentious relationship with parliament, became an indispensable ally in the struggle for self-government, the glorious revolution marked another milestone in constitutionalism. And so he's just going on here about all the revolutions and wars that were fought in England to wrench back some fucking power from their ordained by God ruling family and they're

just like, yeah, it's all good. They were pioneers in allowing a parliament to exist. But he is kind of right though that the founding fathers do sort of owe a debt of gratitude to the royal family because people like to think of the American revolution, it's this break with the dominant sort of world empire when really it was just sort of like an insurrection to put it under new management. A changing of hands. And to the extent that Britain's constitutional monarchy contains within it the seeds of our

own republic and the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, to the extent that's correct, I mean, like that is the reason why those things stink and our government Yeah, it sucks. Constitution is bad. In large part because the people who wrote it wanted to maintain the order, the social order that propagated by British monarchism with a gloss of popular legitimacy. You know what? The way you guys are sounding, you sound like you need to be in a movie, a Christian movie,

where you get run over by a car and you wake up and you're given CPR by Ben Franklin and he like takes you on a tour of Colonial Williamsburg and explains how the Constitution helps everyone. And then you like you meet us, you're like, Hey, what the hell, what the hell's going on? Remember when we watched that movie where that happened and Franklin wearing khakis disarmed a home invader? That was pretty great. Ben Franklin invented Aikido.

A lot of people like it's another case of the Japanese stealing things that fat white Americans invented. Electricity, Aikido, the stove, bifocals. And these are all things the Japanese claim to have invented. It's fucked up. A lot of people don't know this. And it's a tell as old as time. A lot of people don't know this.

Ben Franklin also invented the finger-blasting technique that Felix said that claimed that he was pioneering earlier, the sort of ampersand-style knuckle thing. Now, Ben Franklin did that at first, he was all those French widows, he was just making it. Oh, it's God. He was just playing the violin. He was surfing. Yeah.

He was surfing. Do you know what he called that? What? Problem? You know what he called that when he invented it? What? Called it the famished cobbler. Classic finger-blasting technique.

That's out. Everyone knows this one. Those are my favorite history writings, are the ones where it's like, they talk about some big fat guy from history, and he was a man of enormous appetites in every sense. They're like, he would eat an entire rotisserie chicken, and then 15 clams, and a bunch of cream that someone put in a top hat. And then he would have greasy sex where he just fell asleep inside a 23-year-old. And he was the greatest man who ever was.

It's interesting. I'm the professor of him at Brown University. This is why the monarchy is worth upholding. Before 1977, approximately, the longest any man lasted during intercourse was 45 seconds. And it was Ben Franklin's set the record. Well, the only guys who could have sex longer were, this is another type of guy that doesn't exist anymore, unfortunately. We don't really have Ben Franklin's, and we definitely don't have this guy, the toughest

guy in the world who was gay in a way where he just was disgusted by seeing women. So he joined the military and became the greatest military ruler of his age. And there were a lot of those guys, and when they would have to have kids, when they would have to have kids, it would probably take them a really long time to bust. But unfortunately, when you need a prince, the job must get done simply. I mean, you've got to stiff up your lip. Well, credit to Frederick the Great because he was probably the king of those guys. He never even met his wife.

They were like, you have to make a prince. You're the monarch. And he was like, oh, yuck, fuck you. I'm not doing that. Get this gross bitch out of here. He sent her a nut in a stamped envelope. Yeah. Go do something with it.

I don't care. Fuck you. You're disgusting. I hate you. He nutted on the envelope and then pressed one of those seals onto the seal. She had to thaw it off, melt it. Just this is the desk review guide, Joseph Licante, chair of Queen Studies at King's College.

No, he says here, the impact of all this on the American founders was profound, not only on the concepts embedded in the Declaration of Independence and Bill of Rights, but also on the very structure of the Constitution itself. So there you go. He's saying it, not me. He goes on to say, there's some more history lessons about the history of the Britain's monarchy. It is true, of course, that Great Britain built a massive colonial empire that was deeply

engaged in the African slave trade. The monarchy approved through royal charter the forcible enslavement of millions of human beings. With the support of parliament and the Royal Navy, Great Britain earned the lamentable status as the lead slave trading nation in the world. The left views this history as an indelible stain on the monarchy. It is a racist institution to its core, they claim. Yet, the monarchy, as the political guardian of the Church of England, was eventually confronted

by the Christian conscience of parliament, quickened by evangelical reformers such as William Wilberforce and Hannah Moore. Once parliament outlawed the slave trade in 1807, the British crown authorized the Royal Navy to enforce the new law on the high seas. Decades before the United States faced the issue head on in the Civil War, the British monarchy led the world in abolishing the institution of slavery that they created. Number one for slavery, number one for abolishing slavery. That's right.

Yeah, exactly. It all evens out. And the left doesn't understand this history. Nowhere in his little attempts to be like, you take the good with the bad, does he say anything about them giving back a dime of the literally trillions of dollars in wealth that they're being the world's leading slave trading nation generated? Like every one of those jewels that's on Elizabeth Head was like basically came at the expense of like thousands of lives.

Yeah, but they enforced the rule on the high seas. Also, there's nowhere in that description is there any agency. It's just stuff that they acceded to because by that point it was basically a fucking figure head position. It's like some fucking disgusting ghouls are like, Hey, we want what y'all about so we could do some Nick some African's and tie him to America and some fucking syphilitic German guy just go who thinks that it's like who is hallucinating that it's like fucking like King Arthur talking to him goes, Yeah, go ahead.

And then another syphilitic German guy, Hey, we're stopping slavery. Okay, go for it. Yeah, it's either way not involved. It's like earlier when he was talking about like, Oh, like the Britain's constitutional monarchy was at the forefront of having a parliament. It's like, yeah, because like they agreed to it because they were forced to. Yeah. You know, like it's just like it was always all yeah, it's they weaken their power weakened

over time because capitalism overtook feudalism and monarchy is a feudal fucking a feudal political arrangement. That's it. They weren't like being persuaded of anything. They were just being having things dictated to them by psychotic town dwelling Puritans. It goes on here. And what about Britain's history as a colonial power? No one disputes that there were many dark episodes in a monarchy's quest to expand and

defend its empire. Many nations have a history of colonial adventurism France, Spain, Portugal, Belgium, the Netherlands, Italy, Germany, Russia, Turkey, China, Japan, the United States, good, I'm ready for the United States in there at the end, otherwise we'd lack credibility. He goes, all have been engaged to varying degrees in empire building. Under Queen Victoria at the peak of its power in the 19th century, the British Empire had no imperial rival. The legacy of its rule, though, is nothing like the Dark Kingdom of Mordor feverishly

imagined by the left. No, it's far worse because it's real or worse because it's not made up or at least Mordor like kind of had a goal, you know, and like and like and Mordor when they wanted to create like, you know, like slave armies, they would just like pull orcs out of a ground, you know, it wasn't like they were just like, you know, capturing people and like, you know, pressing them into service. I can't engage on the factualness of whatever Mordor is, but like the effect of listening all these countries is also to suggest that like they were all just as their adventurism

and colonialism was all just as bad as British colonialism. No, it's funny because like he's saying that like, yeah, like, oh, colonialism is bad. Every country's got some skeletons in their closet, but it just so happens that England was the biggest empire. So we have the most skeletons in our closet. I mean, wait, our closet, this guy isn't even British, the guy writing it, fucking American guy. But I mean, like, I just love these attempts that he has to like, you know, be like, you

know, he said at the beginning that like it's easy to bash the history of the monarchy when you have like a stupefying ignorance of history. And he's trying to give a history lesson here and doing like with stupefying ignorance, the worst job possible and like, I don't know, exonerating these people from any of the things that they've done or like, or, or make the case that there's any reason to continue having a royal family in any fucking country, especially England. He's not really crediting the monarchy with anything. This is just no, yeah, it's totally passive in this.

I mean, he's saying, well, what you need is a place for people to just hang around and wear nice, wear shiny hats and to be curtsy too. They want they want there to always be a class of people who are just on top for no reason. Because that that's literally the premise of the system that they support is is is unearned in any sense, wealth. And there's nobody on earth who has more who has less earned wealth than the royal family. He says here goes on to say no empire other than Great Britain brought to its colonies the technological tools, railroads, modern medicine, etc.

Those are the only two examples he can think of a railroads and modern medicine, you thought of etc. Also, and the political ideals, capitalism, the rule of law, etc. that made possible the development of stable, egalitarian societies without the spread of British rule around the world. It is hard to believe that the structures of liberal capitalism would have been so successfully established in so many economies around the world, writes historian Nile Ferguson in his book Empire.

I mean, yeah, there's Nile Ferguson again expert. But yeah, no, I mean, all it took was like a Holocaust level of people killed to, you know, make sure that the world was safe for liberal democratic capitalism. On one hand, you have, you know, inventing slavery and doing colonialism around the world. And on the other hand, you have the creation of liberal capitalism. You know, who's to say one wasn't worth the other. Yeah, exactly. Well, they were intertwined in one necessity.

They both necessitated the other. They're part of a process. And that's why talking about the past in moral terms is generally stupid, because the good stuff and the bad stuff, however you define it, aren't really extricable. You can't pull one out and say, this was good, we should have just done this, because the bad stuff is what necessitated, what allowed and in fact required the good stuff to happen in both ways. It goes in both directions.

This is always pointless for anybody on the left and right to like fixate on morality in the history. But like in this case, it's generated by the fact that for some insane reason, there are still fucking British Royals stanging around. I like when he said, like we brought rail, the British crown brought railroads and modern medicine to its colonies. The modern medicine he's talking about is opium. It's from the earth.

Yeah. Yeah. They're like, they blew up, they bombarded Hong Kong and burned down Beijing because the Chinese would not accept it. It's from the earth. The Chinese were trying to smoke sort of evil laboratory made drugs, these very serious drugs that you or a family member, maybe even your parents have been addicted to, things like grow.

It goes on to say, nations that have violently rejected Britain's model of constitutionalism, China, Russian, the Arab states have created human misery on an industrial scale. It's like, what? Unlike the British Empire. I just, again, all these attempts to exonerate it, just be like, well, other nations have created a human misery and exploitation on an industrial scale, bet you didn't. Bet you feel pretty bad about insulting Prince Philip now. Well, it's also like, first of all, I like how he just says the Arab states, those completely

uniform governments that are all basically the same. But anything bad about how those states formed was because of things, either the British or French or both did. Yeah. It's the legacy of colonialism. It's like you created them, you fucking prick. You drew the map. I mean, there's not much else here.

He says, Joseph Licante is the director of the B. Kenneth Simon Center for American Studies at the Heritage Foundation. He is the author of A Hobbit, A Wardrobe, and A Great War, which is being made into a documentary film. Fuck you. Fuck off. God. Fuck off.

I was making myself mad the other day, thinking of like, an arrow like Heritage Foundation and Titles for Articles, and that's worse than any of the ones I came up with. I got as far as the Joe Assange of Billiard. All right, so that's like, I mean, I guess this is my last point here on like the American rights newfound affection for the British crown, is that like, in a way, it's healthy because like this is all part and parcel of, as Matt, you pointed out earlier, like this is their long-term project, and like they'll pick up anything that sort of like will bolster that.

And like by long-term project, I mean, like ending democracy. Like they are explicitly, probably now more than ever, explicitly anti-democratic. And like they know full well now, if you listen to like the hearings today on DC statehood, that to the extent that America can become more of an actual democracy is only taking power away from them. Like if there is anything actually like, you know, a one person, one vote in this country, they would not fare very well at the polls. So I mean, like it's just, it's just, it's just their attempt to like to claw back, like

I said, you said Matt, like the British royal family is like a symbol of power that they find legitimate precisely because it is not democratic, that it is ordained by God and it is a like, it's a hierarchy that is removed from democratic political concerns and like a popular will. And like that's what they find and like, you know, wish to emulate. I mean, like I think a lot of conservatives even just call themselves monarchists now because like they, you know, quite rightly and like honestly, um, despise democracy. And like, you know, you may just, I mean, at this point, I basically hate it too.

But it's just, you know, like there, there is no reason for any country to have some fucking goofy family wearing jewels stolen from the entire planet, learning it over the rest of us. So what's the crown going to be based on if the monarchy ceases to exist though? Celebrity. Celebrity. I think, honestly, America should have a royal family, but it should be like a rotating appointed by like, who is the best celebrity?

Well, so don't, don't you think he's kind of like pining for like, I wish America had a monarchy because it would be like a great distraction. You know, if everyone was just watching these mascots, like the right wing could continue its march on, you know, reducing democracies or consolidating power even as they become less and less powerful. Yeah, absolutely. And like, honestly, it's a great distraction. It's a show.

It's entertainment. I think also they look up to the Tory party as well, who's like one of the most successful political parties, despite being just grotesque and like failures in every other regard, like democratically speaking, the Tories are doing great as they continue to like just, just, just strip away like any veneer of like public services or democracy in England at this time. And like I said, like I think a lot of the right looks to like England as sort of a hope for the future.

England and Brazil, I think are their two big hopes for the future. But not if Brazil gets to actually vote for Lula, then it'll be, then it'll be another target for regime change. Do you guys see Bolsonaro had his birthday party the other day? That was such a funny video of him washing his hands in a fountain before cutting his birthday cake. Yeah, he was like, so they were like, they brought out his like stupid cake that was probably like, I don't know, they probably like shaped it like Arnold in commando.

And he didn't have a plate, he was just going to eat on his hands, he was like, oh, I should wash my hands. And he went over to this like fucking disgusting like bright green moat and just dipped his hand in. He's like, all right, I'm ready. 20 copy bar is we're sitting in it before he's stuck his hands in it. Yeah. He's awesome.

Last question and topic for today. Do y'all like sex? No. No. Okay. Not really. We're clearly now firmly in the mainstream of the American culture. That's on trend.

Being sex negative is on trend. It's, you know, is anyone having sex anymore? This is a question that's come up recently. I mean, I don't know if you guys saw that graph posted yesterday, but it basically purported to show that since 2008, there's been a huge increase in the number of men under 30 who have never had a sex partner or a female sexual partner. So I don't know if that counts guys who are gay, but I mean, that could be throwing off the numbers.

But the point is, you know, for lack of a better word, the rise of the in the cell. I mean, this is a topic we've talked about before. The research was just a guy saying, fellas, y'all like sex and everyone's saying no. But you know, like, it's the question people are beginning to get concerned about is, like, you know, are Americans having enough sex? Are people just sort of withdrawing from pursuing sex or like, are among young men in particular, like is America post COVID post everything like headed for kind of a Hikiko Mori, like Japanese style, like we're just like population is declining.

No one is having sex, like no one is reproducing. There's just no... Because it's not just about people not having sex, right? It's about sex as a normal part in their minds as a normal part leading to reproduction. Or just like, you know, adulthood or just, you know, romance, fun, excitement. It just seems to be like, yeah, like people like it just no one's having sex anymore. No one's horny or it seems that way, at least according to the data. And you know, to confront this question, of course, is our old friend, Ross Douthat, who...

A guy who loves sex. I mean, this dude, he loves the pipe. He loves... Okay, can I just say, I don't like that your new phrase has become too pipe. I thought it was, it's laying pipe. It's not too... Pipe is not the verb. Don't look at me.

I got to live with her. No, I mean, like, he's concerned about this, you know, as we all should be. And you know what? Like, he's got a new opinion piece in the New York Times that proves beyond any shadow of a doubt, as far as I'm concerned, that he listens to every single show of ours. Because he is... Give him a shout out. Hey, Ross.

Ross, what's up, dude? Yo, like, could we get a shout out maybe in your next column? Because we have been on the tip about there's been no boobs in movies. I mean, just almost, almost as much as our crusade for squibs to bring real... Oh my God. ...real violence back to movies. We've been talking forever and about how there are no, but there's no more boobage in movies.

Yeah, there's no more visceral anything. It's totally deracinated. It's smoothed out. Well, to the extent that there's still violence, it's all CGI and there's almost no sex. Or you know, the sex that they do show is a very, like, clinical. It's all in, like, kind of pre-approved modalities. It's not, you know, like, the sex of your, the sex that you grew up on pausing and rewinding the VHS.

But yeah, like, you know, as a sort of, like, a recurring theme on the show, it's just like these social problems do, yeah, it's not having sex, it's a recurring theme on the show. Is the way in which, like, all these issues get filtered into, like, a culture of war elements. And, like, this one becomes, like, you know, our man trash or not. And when really what we're talking about here is, like, that the economy was destroyed in 2008, and, like, that, to me, would be, like, the knock-on effect about our men or, like, the decline in marriage or reproduction, is that just, like, any sort of path to economic

stability or adulthood is, like, is connected to material issues about, like, poverty and prosperity, like, wealth and who's allowed to have it. Well, now the economy is fucked again, so I think we're going to see those exact same hallmarks of, oh, our, you know, basically our young men reaching these milestones of, you know, sexual maturity and adulthood. I think we're also going to see those increasingly just kind of fall by the wayside, because no one has economic... There's, like, there's less marriageable men, because there's less, like, like, jobs.

Right. Well, yeah, I mean, they're not... Well, people have fewer prospects, men and women. Well, they're not even, like, getting started, because it's, like, you won't go to college or you, like, do remote learning, you'll be sort of, like, half in, half out, still living at your parents' house. You, like, you maybe, like, don't get a group of friends as easily as you did, maybe, like, 20 years ago or so.

Just like the situations that you get in where you do have sex as a young man or young woman just aren't as common now, even before COVID. I mean, I do think this is, like, a very interesting topic, because, I mean, as always, there was a mass unit today, and there was, of course, one, you know, last week. And every time this happens, there's this, like, a sort of thing that I basically do understand where it's, like, people take, like, the last media thing they remember or that they have a resentment over, and they're like, oh, see, well, what about this, that thing that vaguely connects to the mass murder that just happened, which, like, I think is,

you know, at best stupid and at worst, like, can just be, like, totally cynical and monstrous. Basically, like, blaming some other idiot in media for just mass murder. But I feel like the reasons we have these, I mean, they're not simple, but I feel like they're pretty identifiable. And one is that, you know, we live in a imperial nation that has repeatedly shown complete, just complete disregard for human life, for the human life, as long as there's something other than you, in whatever way it's constructed, that you can kill literally millions of them, and it's basically fine if your intention was to make the world better.

That it's, you know, that even it could just be a mistake, like a rock, it's just a mistake, you know, we're just running into a bad time in Afghanistan, even if you're against the war, it will be framed that way. And it just, it makes human life very forgivable to lose, just like, you know, the tens of thousands that die of completely preventable ways, because of our healthcare system, because of how we see work, everything, everything. And then you have increasing male isolation and alienation, like, huge chunks of kids just like, don't, like, forget having sex, they just like, flat out don't have friends.

And, and to combine that with the third piece, which is like, very uniquely American, a very like toxic individualism. So if you're like, there's nowhere for you to go, you're already sort of pre-programmed to like, not see some sort of like valor and heroism in killing scores of people. And if you're wrong, you know, you had the best of intentions. And then combine that with like, yeah, the toxic individualism where it's like, well, you're going to be a fucking loser in this life, but you, you will be your own media brand after you kill all these people and die, and you will become immortal.

It's like, yeah, no fucking course, these happen. I don't, the problem is like, there's no simple way to fix it. I mean, I honestly do think you'd see a lot less if there were a way for a better way for like young men to have like friendships or like do anything or like even have sex. Of course, like isn't a cure all, but I think you'd see like less of it, but as for the rest of it, I mean, it's probably, it's probably the king of easier said than done. I also really do think we're going to like be paying for the long-term social effects of COVID for a really long time in young people.

Yeah. Not only is it like economically stunted an entire generation, but I think it's socially stunted them. So I do, I think we're going to see kind of like a failure to launch generation because of this lost year, you know, like this is, this is not anywhere near as intense as, you know, losing your job and becoming homeless, but I just think about like my little brother is a freshman in college now, and you know, he basically missed out on his senior year of high school, which, you know, again, it's not like a life or death, but you know, it's

like one of those kind of milestone things. He's benchmarked that everyone sort of like missed out on like partying that summer and like they had a weird digital graduation. And now, you know, he went to the big state school freshman year, but didn't live in the dorms because of COVID and, you know, you can't really party. There aren't any big lecture halls, you know, it's just like his entire first year and part of, you know, his last year of high school has now been characterized by this kind of weird stuntedness and now we're all about to be like foist back into some sense of normalcy.

And I just think like, you know, at this kind of, at these tender moments where, you know, young men in particular are kind of like, their brains are wiring for the rest of their lives in terms of can you make like the right social connections to other people and like build communities, I think like there's, there's going to be a chip missing that, you know, it's going to take us a long time to, to realize or to even like help people find a path back to addressing it. Yeah. And there's just no, there's no like actual solution to that that I could think that they

would make. Right. Right. I don't even know what it would look like. Well, I mean, I mean, just to get back to Ross for a second, I mean, like what, what he's identifying here. And we know, look, the thing is we know Ross is a fan of movies. I mean, we know he had a poster of glass.

Ross loves the film. He loves film. We know he had a poster of gladiator in his college dorm room. So like he loves classic movies. And what Ross is identifying as a kind of something that, you know, we've noticed too, I mean, he's coming at it from a different angle, obviously, but what he's talking about is like this sort of desexualization of popular culture, like the, like the unerotic American is, is what he's going for here.

So like, you know, we've talked about it before, like that, that, that sex and popular culture, at least as far as movies go, I mean, sex has sort of been like shunted aside to like sort of streaming or premium cable television, but like movies themselves is like he, he does quote from that, I thought quite good RS Benedict essay about just why there's no more sex in movies. And like they make the point about that like no one has like, like male bodies and like female, like the form or whatever, no one has ever looked like hotter or more chiseled in like super hero movies, but no one's having sex, like no one's fucking in movies.

They're all sexless. It's all, it's all very, that's how you keep it super marketable and family friendly. It's just, we have, it's like, it's like in movies, especially, it's this very like neutered, uh, cultural terrain right now, like a sexuality without, without an endpoint. And it's because like, I think it's sort of like nobody really knows how to deal with sexuality and art anymore, because it is, it is so dangerous. And it's just like, it's so, it's so fraught about like, are you depicted or like, you know, who gets it depicted or whatever.

I'm like, I think the interesting thing here, thing here though is that Ross as a culture warrior himself is, you know, he is, he is not movie mindset. He has cast out a movie mindset because he makes the same mistake that a lot of other people like, you know, on the left or liberal side do, which is that he wants movies to make people better. He wants movies to like be the sort of like programming that will lead to a resurgence in marriage, uh, having children younger, buying homes and voting Republican. He's like, if only we could bring back, you know, uh, uh, Spencer Tracy and Catherine

Hepburn or Carrie Grant or whatever, just like, like the romantic screwball comedy of, of yesteryear, like that'll give, but like, you know, he's willing to a seed that there can be like, you know, gross out boner comedies as well. Like he, you know, he talks about like, like he, Ross just wants hits back in movies and he's willing to like sacrifice like the raunchy sort of like, uh, untoward, rudor, boner stuff. Because at least maybe it would give people fucking again. Yeah, exactly. Like in exchange for, um, I don't know, juicing the birth rate or something, but like, again,

like he is, he is, he is, he's correctly identified something that, that movie mindset is concerned with, but he is, he is not of the body. He, he is, he is, he is, he is in perdition. He is, he has to move to Gehenna because he has the fundamentally the same problem in which that he, he wants movies to own, to uphold his political point of view. Like that is, that is what he views as the point of movies. And to the extent that no one's fucking in movies anymore. That's a problem because like he wants, you know, people to get married younger and to

have families younger. But if you think about it, all these sexless movies are perfect for this moment, right? Like now no one knows how to date. No one's fucking. So it makes perfect sense that like when you see, uh, you know, you watch the Snyder cut or something and who do we look at? We look at Superman. Like all of it, we were watching it last night and I go, you guys are going to talk about

it, um, not with women on the podcast, um, but, uh, like there's no sex. There's no romance. Like there's nothing, like it really is like a kind of like a chicken or egg thing about is our culture reflecting the sexlessness of these movies or these movies perfectly reflecting the sexlessness of our culture. It certainly didn't always, but this also wasn't the case because I think of like the first big superhero movie that I can think of, the Tim Burton Batman's Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne, my Batman in those movies is so horny.

Like those movies are only about fucking like they are, like he, like it is very clear in the Tim Burton Batman's that he is only fighting crime because he wants to fuck women in a cave wearing a mask. You know what I mean? Like watching the Snyder cut last night, it was like, there are hot people in it, but there are, they're put in no context that could be read as sexual or containing any like sexual situation, sexual tension, right? Like it's, it calls attention to the fact that it's like, it's like negative space for

sexuality. I just think it's funny though, cause like Ross has been a culture war skull, like as long as we've been following him. And I think it's funny that he's willing to just like, he's like, bring, bring back the boners and blowjobs and movies. It's just like, what is the Catholic church sick about this rod? Really? Yeah.

The legion of decency had a pretty strong take that the culture should be protected from those sort of influences. Well, I mean, it's weird that the Snyder cut is sexist because Snyder is like, he's notorious for one of the funniest sex scenes of all time. Oh hell yeah. One of the last, one of the last ones I can remember. That's true. Nudity and everything.

Slow motion humping with boobs. Yeah. In, in Watchmen. Yep. Hallelujah. Yeah. Which is like the sex scene you would make if you'd never had sex. Yeah.

And to be fair, like I, I haven't finished it. So maybe like, I'm, I'm still waiting for the Joker to appear. So maybe when he comes on, it's just going to be a 20 minute long unsimulated sex scene. Ropes, ropes, ropes. Well, yeah. Well, the, the sexuality of Marvel movies is interesting to me because there is like male female attraction, but it's like, it's like, it's like there's a decency code. You get so weird.

Like all they can do is like, like kiss each, like just like a quick kiss and mostly like do soy bands with each other. Yeah. It's like a new, a new like Hollywood code era. Yeah. It's all about keeping things workable. Yeah. It's very like disconcerting, but I, I think like it does just reflect like a culture where

people are like, yeah, having kids less. I mean, like all that, all that like stupid shit in conservative media about like hookup culture and shit. I mean, people are like have been having less sex for a while. And I think it's attributable entirely to sort of societal breakdown and economic reasons. I mean, yeah. Like I don't think you need to like necessarily like, I think there's like, there should always be like a one to one ratio between sex, having and child, you know, reproduction.

But like, I mean, I think like, oh, this is part and parcel of just like a general feeling of like a loss of a belief in the future. Like either of ourselves, like our own personal lives, but like our country, our species as a whole. Like, I mean, and now, well, now the new big thing on the right is that they're fucking, like they're, like Tucker Carlson is talking a lot about dropping sperm counts. You know, like this is a big panic now. And like for all I know, it's probably true because of all the fucking chemicals and

like plastics that we put on it. It is. It is true. Environment. Yeah. As long as you've been doing it. We're on pace for zero sperm count by 2045. But you're totally, you're totally right though.

Like, you know, sex does not equal reproduction, but there is something life giving about sex. And so to that end, not having sex conveys like a deep seated pessimism about the future. Yeah. Can't get too attached to any of this shit. You don't know how long it's going to be around. Right. Right. I was saying like, yeah, child, like childbirth and stuff, but like even just, I was saying

even just like people having sex is down and has been down for a while now. And that's like, I mean, maybe because, maybe because like, yeah, just casual sex where like two people meet and think each other are cool or attractive or maybe the woman hates the man and wants to tweet about it later. Because he recently bought a couch, but she hates him in a way that's sexual, has to have sex with him. See his new couch that he bought. This is a feeling.

It's only $600. He thought couches, couches cost $7,000. You thought they cost like $20,000. Yeah. The couch costs $180,000. And you pay it. Look at Louise Linton over here. It's a hundred year installments.

But no, yeah, that's like, it's like a beautiful mutual thing that isn't really like in and of itself monetized or monetizable or, I mean, it just like at its best and people still do this, the few Americans who are still having sex have like a beautiful mutual social event. On a new couch. Just don't have that anymore. I just think it's like, you know, it's just like, like everything else is like, we look at these like, you know, seemingly intractable social problems and we find ways to talk about them in which it is like all the responsibility of the individual for not being good enough

or not doing X, Y, or Z and like, you know, though, you know, hookups, sex, fucking love, intimacy, family, like these are not all these things are not synonyms for one another. But it is hard to have like, I mean, it is rare to have like a sort of fulfilling life that you feel good about without some or some combination of those things. And to the extent to which it's those possibilities are being removed from both men and women. It is, you know, we're just talking about like, you know, the impoverishment of our like society and our future that is the direct result of material conditions and like opportunities and just money and time that's being taken away from us.

Maybe it's harder for people to have sex even when they are out in the world and are in situations where people in the past would more typically have casual sex because maybe it's just impossible to think beyond oneself now. Right. Yeah. Like imagining the interiority of another person like at enough of a like vividness to even imagine engaging with them and like relating to them because you can't relate to anybody outside of yourself.

You can't conceive. I mean, yeah, that's like, I mean, why do like guys in high school, like why if I could think of like a singular reason, there are always a million reasons, but like a singular reason why they like have trouble with girls. And I think the singular, like the biggest one is probably that they like think girls are a different species who like don't want to have sex and you have to like a combination of like fool and impress them or something. You have to show that you don't care about them.

You have to like come up with the right magical combination of words to like trick a woman. Yeah. No, like tricking them. Yeah. Yeah. Or unlock something in her. Right. But like as you get older, you're like, oh, women are horny too.

Women are also like women also like they seek the same sort of validation desire and validation that I, that I seek and that's not a bad thing. It's can be just casual sex can be beautiful in that sense that it's like, yeah, two people kind of like validating each other's desires and they go their separate ways or whatever. But I think everyone is kind of permanently 14 years old now where it's like everyone else in the world is an alien creature who couldn't possibly have similar desires or interests. We're also atomized.

Anything that they have. Yeah. And we've also totally lost any semblance. I know that this is new and like newer and like the last year, but we like, we don't have any public spaces or, you know, a shared, like in the absence of like shared stories or, you know, a meaningful shared culture outside of like Marvel movies, like now we don't even have like shared neighborhood bars with which, you know, in which you could like run into someone that maybe like you'll meet and have a connection with.

It's bad. Yeah. It's like, yeah. Sad times in America. Yeah. I like, I remember, I, sorry. I remember like when I was like in studying abroad or to, yeah, no, absolutely no women on this trip.

Get him out of here. Where did you study abroad? Felix. Yeah. And there was this kid in my class, because it was like an international class type thing. It was actually the CIA. Everyone listening to this is thinking that. Yeah.

But no, he was from Denmark. And I remember he was talking to like another American guy who was like, you know, like a nice, like kind of nerdy American guy. And he was explaining to him how like in Denmark, you could go to a bar and just casually meet a woman. And if you like each other, you'll have sex, like it's crazy, like that's a crazy thing. But it like, it kind of is for a lot of Americans now. Like a lot of Americans probably that is very hard for them to imagine.

Yeah. No. And I guess just to wrap things up here, you know, while not falling into the, the trap that is, that is verboten and movie mindset, the belief that, you know, movies can make the world a better place or make this nation's politics better in any meaningful sense. I do think though, I do, I just, I appreciate though that like it seems that there isn't opening for some common ground on the left and right to both bring back squibs and actual violence in movies, not, well, not actual violence, but you know, like,

I don't know. Let's do it. Let's do it. Bring back practical effects. We're talking about bodily fluids, like practical effects, like squibs. We want to see come shots, we want to see squibs, gratuitous nudity. And I don't mean this from like a misogynist bro perspective. Let's get some penises in movies too.

Yeah. Let's go see some bullfrogs. Yeah. Absolutely. We film in penises in movies again. I want to see. I mean, we're on Zoom right now and I'm very curious about what it looks like. Women have been coasting off the fumes of that movie where Liam Neeson's flopper is just

fucking dangling around. That's like the only thing they got. Oh God. I remember it. Bad Lieutenant, Fastbender, his dick you could see him like his dick while he was peeing from behind. So that's how you know he's got it. Yeah.

You can count the instances of male, full frontal nudity on American movies. Yeah. Kevin Bacon in Wild Things. Harvey Keitel in Bad Lieutenant. And then like every other example is some European movie, but like that's a different genre. Yeah. Yeah.

Like if you want to see, like first of all, they use a prosthetic dick in Antichrist for Willem Dafoe. No. It wasn't a prosthetic dick. It was a stunt dick. It was a real penis from a porn performer who was actually less well endowed than Willem Dafoe is apparently. Yeah.

No. Look at this. This was distractingly big. And also like unless you're a really fucked up woman, which you know there are a lot of, that's a hard scene to jack off to because he just like gets his dick caved in by a fucking log. Strain that scene. I don't know.

Some women might like that. I don't know. Don't yuck my yum. Well, you know, I'm just saying like it's just, the blood of life, the blood and the fluid of life I think should be, you know, filmed more often and not in a pornographic context like in the context of a movie. We want to be excited. We want to see life.

We want to learn life. Life is about sex and death. Yeah. I mean like movies are about sex and death. Like movies are like how we deal with our anxiety about those things or how it's what we want to be excited by is sex and violence. Yeah. I mean, to sort of like, you know, what you said about how movies can't change the world.

I mean, I have the same view of all media. Like I- Except blogs. Blogs can. As much blogs can. But like as much fun as I have like doing the show and as proud as I am of all the work we've done. Yeah.

I don't think it's changed the world really in any way. But I do think the best thing you can do is maybe the thing that can allow you to go to sleep at night sort of happy with what you're doing with your life is that they give people a reprieve or they give even better people something to look forward to. I think the best- And if movies, if movies had some type of visceral quality again, I don't know. It feels like everyone is watching these movies, but they're not enjoying them as much as they portray.

I don't- Like I think- That's the feeling I get. Media or journalism and like comedy aside and just speaking specifically about like art and movies in particular, like I don't think they can change the world or make it a better place. But I think at their best, and I'm talking even not like not just art films, I'm talking even just like cheap, crass entertainment, like at their best I think that they crack

open something in our minds. They're just like the movie magic does something where it allows us to have a glimpse of like a better, like a different way of being, a different reality, like something different inside ourselves that is maybe there, that we can access it maybe just a tiny bit of it. It just, it creates a possibility inside of us that wasn't there before. And you know, like that possibility is, you know, like what is this life for? Like why are we here?

What makes it worth living? And the answer is sex and death. One of those things is coming inevitably. The other, the former, less and less so, which hastens the latter. And certainly not to anyone on this call, just kidding. Fear the, fear the old blood. Okay, that is, that is the last word on that. Fear the old blood, but let's, let's, let's, let's have some horniness in movies again.

Can we? Yeah, let's bring it back. Let's just bring it back. Chopple says get out there and, and not, knock some boots. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Ladies, ladies, think of a member of the opposite sex, picture them in your mind the kind you

would like to mash their thing against your worm or vice versa. Go up to them and just go, oh ah, capitalist realism, Mark Fisher, and then fuck each other. Let's do it. Let's go. Let's go. COVID's over. COVID's fake. Let's go.

Come on. Let's go. over and Frank please do not cancel our fucking picture out all right well majestic well I would close out the show by thanking our our guests and my love Catherine Krieger thank you this we're talking about love and you know sex so I'm feeling thank you thank you baby oh oh oh yeah why don't you guys go in a tree we just we just might we just might but Catherine if people would like more Catherine Krieger what can they do where can they go well speaking of sex

and death it's our one-year anniversary at discourse blog and if you don't know about discourse blog like some of the people on this call might not it's the former crew at splinter independent leftist media if you're listening to choppo maybe you already like that maybe you already support us but it's our one-year anniversary our one-year birthday never thought we would make it this long you know just like lefty analysis and news and cultural commentary and we're having a birthday sale it'll be up by the time this episode is live 30% off an annual subscription with the code birthday discourse blog.com

subscribe 30% off annual subscription code birthday support some leftist media we would love to have you check it out everybody thank you thank you to Catherine and thank you to discourse blog go check them out until next time guys bye bye you