Chapo Trap House - 530 - Auspicious Dragons (6/7/21)

Episode Date: June 8, 2021

A loose and chill hang out ep as we come to you from Atlantic City after our successful appearance at the FRQNCY1 festival. We pitch some of our concepts to revitalize AC and solve America’s Trump problem in one tidy package, lament the purging of some truly wonderful cranks and goofys from twitter, then travel Into The Ray Donoverse.

You should you should have like a billboard as you go into town be like buddy disable and Felix a keep gaming No, yeah, I would yeah, he would just be on my shoulder They gave him this toy that he really likes and he's like He makes such cool like fucked up little demon noises. Yeah, are we rolling Chris? Okay, so Okay testing so yeah, like I think you should join me like in Atlantic City Chamber of Commerce Felix I think you'd like, you know start like yeah, like just some sort of podcast or residency here at one of these casinos like At the TROP the slop casino. I know I would start out at the slop. Um, well, I like I like the slop That was like the first one I went to when I like visited here for the first time

Yeah, like no, I want to do like a shitty residency show where I'm like, oh You know, oh, I knew Sean McElwee before he was Sean McElwee, let me tell you, sweetie, like No, we need to put Felix in charge of the Atlantic City Revitalization Program because as we were talking about Felix has some great ideas for new casinos that they should be putting into this place to replace to replace these, uh, you know, defunct like Seizures it's like the Wild West. They're all kind of like, oh, who cares? But Felix has got a couple of really good ideas. Yeah It's for casinos. So we have casinos for like both types of people Everyone knows like there are two types of people in this world, you know, if you're an ex-kcd reader like myself

Like all these guys, you know, that's how we met actually in the comments to those You know, usually you know how that joke goes like there are people who understand binary and those don't blah blah blah Really though, like the real answer, you know, you get enough life experience. No offense to ex-kcd But like that's just a joke. This is a real thing Two types of people are racist and Muslim. Yep. And if you're not Muslim, you're racist. If you're not racist, you're Muslim. It's true. You might not even know it yet, but So you've got you've got like the the the winged Hussars versus the Saracens. That's yes. Yes And you know, we're gonna go like Muslims go first, right?

And this isn't like we don't mean to offend anyone We're not saying that this empire represented all Muslims But it's like for the purpose of a casino where you need a singular theme. This is what we're doing It's the Ottoman Empire themed casino. Yes called Janissary Janissary. Yes So obviously like design very important pillows everywhere I was in no chairs. You sit on a stack of pillows at all of the Slavishes tables. Yes at all the tables. So like just beautiful like silk drapes like a lot of like beautiful pattern designs Oh, yeah, yeah, and

They're different like levels to it sort of like an Ottoman palace Like the hot the high roller section you have to go through like a bunch of like silk drapes and shit But what's important is the personnel the dealers like your blackjack dealer your roulette dealer They're gonna be hulking. They're gonna be taller than everyone because they're the Janissaries, right? Yeah, they're Yeah, and they're gonna be wearing Janissary outfits, but the pit bosses are the viziers right I got the onion head hats Yeah, the CEO of the casino is casino is the Sultan course of the casino It's a fucking cool idea like there could be a donor every where there would be casino because in Turkey They greatly they greatly value cats and they're really nice. Yes, you know cats. Yes

They're like that. They're just they live in the casino like they're nobody owns them that they hop on the blackjack table That's good luck. You give them a little pet give a little rich. They're just the casino cats, but everyone respects them Yeah, beautiful. You like just a great time, but you know Racists need to gamble to and like I don't I don't like Trump casinos gone now Yeah, I don't like this is a market fact, but it is and this would be a new type of racist casino It's called thulian This would be the the the the the Varg black metal themes casino. Yeah Yeah, it's like it's it's his version of like pre

Christian Christ cocked Europe. Yeah, and will sit like Middle Earth, but racist We'll had a really good idea but more racist decisions I you guys had some really good ideas for this casino where it's like, you don't get chips you get runes. Yes Yep. Yeah. Yeah, and the actual games There's no cards. You just have to scry the runes. Yeah, and then and then the winner is whoever wins the test of strength Yeah, like there's no actually like the casino games is not about luck or skill. They're about they're about strength and weakness Gambling is Jewish Do with numbers yes, that's Jewish Jewish

The thing that makes good both these casinos great and like I I've gone to many casinos in my life I started when I was like 11 and we went to Vegas for some reason it was a fun vacation But you know not a lot for me to do there at the time But sort of life long love affair with casinos themed casinos. They're awesome. Absolutely. It's a bummer. They're gone now Now they're just these like they're just cubes devoted to abstract wealth. Yeah Yeah, they're just all look like like the newest casinos look like we works. It sucks but

The thing even when we did have themed casinos the thing that like sucked about them kind of was that like I guess you would have like Thames slot machines, but like the games aren't it's like, okay How is this game of craps like Roman, right? Yeah, but okay in the Ottoman casino? You'll be able to bet on Falcon races How cool is that? Well, you said it's really sick when you went to Vegas in your 11 There's not a lot for you to do, you know, cuz yeah in a casino like this They're trying they try to have stuff for kids to do but a Janna series You could like bring bring your 11 year bring your large 11 year old son and give them to the casino

Yeah, they would be start training them to gamble at an early age But they would be a property of the casino I would have loved that and then like from 11 you were raised into adulthood to be the best gambler in the Ottoman casino that man Can I quantum suicide? So yeah, I mean, I guess in case you hadn't figured it out of the chapeau the tour of a reopened America continues We are broadcasting to you live from the most The most romantic the most resplendent the most glamorous city in America Atlantic City

No, I'm like it There's no other place on earth like Atlantic City if you haven't visited Atlantic City in your life You have to go at least one time if for no other reason than to feel like the most attractive person on earth No, I like legitimately love it here. I know it's great. I legitimately love it here I've been going here for like six years and like yeah, it's like economically deprived But like I actually like most of the time I've just been like accosted by an Atlantic City or like, you know Philadelphia native here It's like they're pretty nice and like cool to talk to like it happened to us that one time when we were at Tony's Baltimore

Grill. Oh, right. Yeah, it's like people just talked to you, but they're like cool Unlike in New York where everyone is looking at their feet and Metropolis yeah, but it's like there is some legitimately I don't want to make it sound like we just come here and it's like, oh, it's funny to go to this fucked up place Because it is like there's like really cool shit like beachfront bars and restaurants and shit There are some unique restaurants here that you the types of which don't really exist in New York That's certainly true. Um, no, I think it's a classic family style Italian. Yes. Yes

I think it's a really unique and fun place. Obviously. I love gambling, but there's more to do than just gambling and No, I think I get mad. This show is brought to you by the Atlantic City Gaming Commission It's a paper of covers. I'm not being paid for this, but I should be But I like no I get mad when like yeah, there are like young younger like urban professionals Um, who like they make good money and they're like, oh, let's go to Palm Springs like every other asshole It's like no, there's a gambling city on the east coast. I know like I love Vegas Vegas is great That's good for your big vacation But like for a long weekend

I wish if more people from like Philadelphia, New York who make good money as like creative directors or whatever the fuck came here It would economically revitalize this place. You would have to make a casino for them, you know, like M-Hofs or something? Can make bread trimel the creative director of the M-Hofs casino. Oh my god Oh my god, the Kakao waitresses are wearing like knit minions outfits. Yeah, they have goggles and cowboy boots on Yeah, or or there could be oh man. Actually, I'm getting okay So you could make one casino that's themed off of the NYU new school rivalry Well, and there's the new school and then the NYU Tower

Yeah, right there are two towers But like you would have to make things that are unfortunately for them but it would like if this place had like a Like a fraction of the money Vegas is coming into it It would be like all the things that people complain about like would improve like yeah Some parts of it are like dirty and economically deprived. That's not their fault Yeah, it's not their fault just like I am everyone's just like too big of an asshole to come here But if more people came here, you know, I think it would be really great for it and I I think it's a really cool place

It's two and a half hours away from New York. He would closer to Philadelphia. It's a cool place to come come with your friends It's a family. Yeah, donate them to the Genesis Well, first actually I'm going off an idea you had yesterday We actually like when we went to the women with the lunch today Oh, we had an idea for another Atlantic City themed casino that I think could be like a big hit and could do a lot of good for the country So you like you were talking yesterday about how like, you know, all the people who are just like like Trump Trump's gonna steal the election He's gonna like do a cool weekend or whatever. It's like well, if you don't want to do that He needs a job and like things like he needs to be distracted. He needs to make work job

He needs something that like he feels is important and glamorous and befitting of a man of his stature The US government should spend probably 10 billion dollars at least Yeah, build him a new city in Atlantic City that they will be operated at a loss Yeah, just keep him in charge of it a new Trump casino where the theme is He won the 2020 election. Yeah, and it's like a Trump's America in the casino and like you go there and it's like He won the election. Yeah, the very top of the casino is a Absolute one-to-one replica of the White House where he lives Yes, and then the floor show every night is him just talking to the crowd

I like that's the thing Trump Taj Mahal closed it lost money and not enough people went there. That wasn't like what? 2014-2015 if he did if he had that casino now people would go to it Of course like so many fucking people would go to it all the time because there's so many psychos who like Yeah, go to Trump properties just because they like him and drink those like great martinis Uh, and yeah, no, it would the government would have to operate it at a loss for like the first few years But I think you could actually get it so it makes money and I think he would be really happy doing that Just being make-believe president. Yeah, yeah

I mean being like the president of the casino Yeah, but but like maybe even the US government could say that like legally within the walls of the casino He is actually president. Yeah, they see it. They see it. It's like it's like Vatican City Yes, but it's Trump City and you go there and it's like instead of like, you know Share or Celine Dion having like a residency and they do like a couple shows a week or whatever It's Sean Hannity every night. Yes, and he just Sean Hannity talking and then like the big the big act Like you said is Trump just comes out and he just riffs. Yeah, like a thrusting show. Yeah, yeah But less organized. Yeah

That would be I would go there all the time like getting married there like people get married at Mar-a-Lago now So on the like pretty good chance Trump barges into your ceremony Like complains about like Nellie or Because it's like I remember I saw like so many videos of him doing that after Biden got inaugurated and people were like he's ruining their day It's like no if you get married at Mar-a-Lago you want that to happen. You want you want Trump's exercise premonoc the yeah Yeah, but I would I would love like dude imagine you're you're like just having a great time on the slot You're playing like the DOJ themed slaw

You're like, oh, I got three Glenn Simpsons, you know Then you just feel like this sort of like weirdly like room temperature a hand on your shoulder And it's you sort of smell like McDonald's lettuce like baby powder and shit And he comes behind you and he's like, how's everything tonight good and before you can answer He's like it's amazing what we've accomplished here Like that would make me so happy for the cost of like 1f 35 We could solve the whole problem forever and like most most of the people who you're afraid of like doing January 6 again They would just live in that casino. Yeah, yeah, great. Yeah, they would like dude

They would run out they would apply for citizenship. Yeah, they would run out of money and be like, please Mr. Trump's are all like, yeah, I'll clean the dishes with my tooth brush I can just like live in the smallest room you have and he'd be like, okay. Yeah, no, it's great though And um, yeah, but like also this summer the Trump virus has been defeated. No, the East Coast has defeated the Trump virus Thanks. Thanks to Bill de Blasio and Andrew Cuomo. Yeah. Well, really just build the blood build a block is America's mayor. Absolutely He's finally proven it way more than Giuliani ever was how much virus remorse do we have that? We passed over him during the presidential primary. It's like god damn it We could have had the bungler. He would have solved coronavirus

He's like you're like if you everyone like hates bill de Blasio because like you're supposed to hate the mayor of New York But like when you ask people it's like what why do you hate bill de Blasio? And I'm sure there's a building related thing that he did is bad. I haven't looked it up or even read his Wikipedia I don't know a lot about him, but the reason most people give is like, oh He closed down Union pool And it's like no first of all, no, he didn't that's not his fault. Second of all, he beat the Trump virus. Sorry. Yeah Well, it is it is certainly defeated here in Atlantic City evidence of this is last night in front of Guy Fieri steakhouse Guy Fieri steak and shophouse in ballast casino I

ran into a Group of young young gentlemen who were sort of flicking it out for the gram in front of Guy Fieri steakhouse But I'm smoking a blunt while they were doing it. That's in in the casino I wish I didn't get I was stricken by diarrheal magic last night And I had to abscond home and I fell asleep But I wish I got to see that it was it was a good time they had by all it's magical Yeah, it's like the rest of the world still paroxysms of horror But here it's masculine red death, baby, and we're loving it like okay. We were just in California, right and

Gavin bungler some Is you know, he's lost to the Trump virus I can safely say the Trump virus has beaten him because people are like people like shower with their masks on over there That's how bad of a job. They've done. He's going to be recalled Caitlyn Jenner is going to be the next governor of California because he finally he bundled the Trump virus He did not defeat the Trump virus. That's great Because we got to get we got to get Caitlyn in there We have to get Caitlyn in there because the main problem I had

Besides the Trump virus when I was in LA was that like there was too much like woke stuff. Yeah That was really making me mad. What did Caitlyn Jenner said? She was like we're gonna cancel woke We have to awake the woke which is like it makes no sense like just try to think about that sense You're like your brain shuts down. It should be shouldn't it be we're going to put the woke to sleep. Yeah We're not with the woke to sleep No But like no they've done a shit like okay the moment Cuomo got me to build a bungler Oh was allowed to run, you know the vaccine program. He saw fit. Yeah, whatever makes him bad at whatever the things

He's bad at I don't know. Um sound off in the comments Yeah, no if you have an opinion like if you there's something you don't like about build a bungler contract Aaron at Bertobo He wants to hear By the way, I was just like even following like this latest crop of freaks that the FYM boys have found Oh my god, the looks maxing guys. Oh, no looks maxing looks maxing guys. I haven't seen the sex I've been what I've informed the looks maxing guys where it's a guy who's literally taking like a Like a sort of like a one of those like narrow like a sort of like

Archaeology hammers what do you call those and like just tapping his skull like between their nose and then like eyes To looks max and then there's a guy who like puts rubber bands around his face to make his nose like more like less Upturned, but it's like women love family guy and that's how their noses look on that show Do they get like got sort of canceled in the comments, but in there by like the guys who do that Yeah, and they were like if they were like, um, oh Really like trying to tear down guys who are just trying to improve themselves No, they were like they were like like typical leftist attack on looks maxing like, you know like makes jokes Uninformed opinions and then like basically advice to put this exact same thing your mom tells you that got you in this situation

In the first place and it's like your mom your mom got dick at least one Yeah, yeah, I was like why wouldn't you take your mom's advice? She's like Objectively had more sex than you have. Yeah. Yeah, no, it is funny It's funny when you get cancelled by like right-wing people because like they've picked up the same like whiny style Yeah, it's like no one's that's why the cancel culture thing is stupid because like everyone does it. Yes It is the language it is the language and behavior of being on the internet. Yeah, exactly exactly But I mean, it's like anything about veterans their dude They're like start talking about their lived experiences like carrying around a really heavy bag for heroin dealers

Like you're supposed to like really care about that. But yeah, no Um back to the bungalow, of course He was he was able to run his ideal vaccine program because Cuomo got me tooed for going up to women and being like Can I pick you up? I'm gonna pick you up Let me crack your back Putting his hand like the shit he was doing is like what like a sixth grader from a sex-positive family He's like, uh, he's like if I would ask you to do a trust fall now, would you do it? Yeah, yeah, so get a go to the desk and I will catch you. Yeah, it's bad enough like the guy the guy who's like, yeah

Oh, I'm gonna. Yeah, well, I'm gonna pick you up But like when it's like your boss and he's the governor that sucks But yeah after that Cuomo or the bungalow was like, okay, it's but it's the bungalow time. It's Wilhelm Kaiser Whatever the fuck Motherfucking Kaiser right time. Yeah, and he using German efficiency, but Italian creativity We're like the most vaccinated city in America and I've decided that now, you know, I've been a lifelong New Yorkers It's 2015 and

This is the best city in the world. Thank you Well, the bungalow you can tell he's feeling himself and the Felix is correct because after years of people making fun of him by Calling him big bird this week. He finally decided to claim it. So somebody posted a picture of him like shaking hands with big bird like lol look at these guys and the bungalow's Personal Twitter account replied big bird is a vertically gifted empathic leader who dedicates his life Teaching kids and learning himself be compared to him as a badge of honor Agreed. No big birds great big birds kind of a diva, but you can't say that he didn't influence music

Like he's no Barney. He's no Barney, but he was still influential. Yeah. Yeah, no like but the bungalow is awesome and No, I like do you know how good the bungalow is? I was anti-New York every year until this year when I realized that you have to spend more money to be happy And now I know it's the best city That's right. Yes, sir. We're definitely gonna miss him when he's gone because the yeah the gaggle of chumps running Eric I think Eric Adams is ready. Yeah, he's gonna do a good job I was gonna say though. I'm speaking of a cancel culture I would like to speak on an issue this week of you know of censorship and social media and

You know like the stifling of free speech in this country on Twitter And I've of course, I'm referring to the the banning of one of my favorite accounts. Dr. Naomi Wolf doctor That's such a if you reported Naomi will fuck you. She's gonna. She's a danger. I guess we're just spreading misinformation just like like if social media is is has has any like social utility or Or a cultural purpose it is to give everyone instant access to the unfiltered thoughts of the world's biggest nitwits Yeah, and like the idea is like Naomi Wolf was a

Fucking artist when it came to the only person that she could possibly convince not to get the vaccine would be Al Gore Yeah, it's like yet. No, she wasn't swaying Anyone know like she probably like she probably like there are probably people who were like anti Vax or mask or whatever who saw her and we're like, oh never mind Yeah, and they like they started buying shirts and say like save a life stay home No, she's awesome and the thing that made her awesome was like instead of like the usual like, you know Vax stuff she would say these things like there's human crap in the virus in the in the In the vaccine one of the last things she tweeted before getting before getting booted for spreading too much truth

Well, she was like we need to like seriously consider ways in which we can segregate the feces and urine of vaccinated people from like From non-vaccinated because she was like she is one of the people who pushed hardest this idea of like vaccine shedding Yeah, the vaccine vaccinated people are spreading the vaccine like through their bodies to unvaccinated people and through their shit No, no, but she was saying that like the unvaccinated people who are getting all women of a certain age who Report feeling cramps nausea irritability headaches all around at the same time of being around Vaccinated people and it's just like well, there's no other explanation for that No, I do like that because it's one thing when you think when you're when you believe that the vaccine is doing something to the people

Who take it? It's like all right fine, you know, that's probably not true But I understand the physics at least the idea that like there's some sort of like Wi-Fi more gel ins that you can like there's like a vibration you pick up from someone on Vax That like like they're they're individual walking 5g towers. Yeah, if you're around them you're you're like your DNA just starts curdling Well, I mean like I look like even if you believe as she does she's like we need to sit seriously consider Segregating the feces in urine. Where's anything? How do you think that one could be accomplished at the sewage treatment facility? They're just like it's like a conveyor belt. They're like that poop is good Okay, this stream of piss here look at the color. It's all wrong send it in the vaccinated bowl

If you put your phone near someone's poop and the signal gets Okay, so God like she I'm just trying to like like go back through my head of like see like some of the most like just like The best tweets of all time like this is what Twitter is taken from us because like if what we're left with is that like Twitter? the only people who can fucking like say anything on Twitter are just like The fucking like just boring sanctimonious like just like the people with the right opinions Yeah, yeah, who expressed them in the right way. It's just like what that is so Go that's like going to school. Yeah, yeah, like I need like I need to hear

I I'm a fan of morons and idiots I want to hear their fucking I want to hear that this and they produce art like this is my favorite Naomi Oh wolf tweet was one where she was quote tweeting It was something from like like the NHS or some British organization where they were like, oh, it's Henry the bear It's like it was a stuff. It was a stuffed teddy bear. He was like, hello, right? It's me Henry I'm wearing a mask in it and it's a teddy bear wearing a surgical mask and she quotes me sit with just no No, no, and all her tweets about like about how children are being like Destroyed by having to wear a mask. They're like this kid and what he was he was loudly shouting before getting on an airplane

No, I don't want to wear the mask. No, why are we allowing this? I won't eat the bugs. I won't live He's like he's a three-year-old and she's like I the the the lassitude in their eyes. They're sunken faces Yeah, it's just like oh god. She was so fucking good. Oh god, and then The one about how she overheard Apple employees talking in a coffee shop about how they've invented a machine time I just tried to try to tell you to travel back in time She was literally talking about like I cloud like the time. Yeah, the time I'm machine Like I cloud of growing up though. I write I have I have sympathy with her because where I grew up ATMs the the first like crop of ATMs that were introduced in my small town in Wisconsin were from one company

And it was called time with a Y T Y M E and so for a while I probably not sure anymore for a while in Manorwalk, Wisconsin People would say I'm gonna go to the time machine if they were gonna get money and I heard that time is money I distinctly remember Having my mind blown and thinking holy shit. What there's time machines. I was six But I still sympathize Okay, I get it There was another like like I don't know like what because like what happened because like the at some point like as you alluded to earlier Matt

Um, she became Al Gore's during the 2000 presidential campaign like the 2000 Consultant she became Al Gore's image consultant. They taught him how to dress and act to appear Like comforting and non-threatening to women and The thing is like and like Al Gore is already just about the most non-threatening man Here's an alpha pimp. Okay. He was just too much masculine essentially like her Her big insight what she was paid to do is that she started she she started dressing him in brown colors Terrible idea for any man anywhere ever

She the one who told him and tipper to read each other at the DNC and just slobber like a couple of bass and hounds fight No, probably peanut butter the wearing brown and earth tones thing was the one I like like definitely remember But I mean I would I could imagine she was just like she was like Al women are too frightened of you They're too frightened of your alpha sexuality the way they would squeeze them is to just Grab your wife's face grab your wife and eat her like a sandwich on stage Just a big old Italian sub just wow That's probably like what made like younger millennials sex-negative Yeah, they're like no, thank you a lot of these children who listen to the show probably have no idea what we're talking about go YouTube this DNC

2000 when he went out he just they just their faces just smashed together Yeah, and it was so awkward and and it is up there with the John Kerry salute into this democratic try hard cringe No, that was cool Reporting for duty. It was like that. I'm John Kerry and I'm I'm Reporting for duty Yeah, I saw that I was like your job. You Bush wasn't in the real military. God. No, I was so I was like I was an absolute Whatever resistance live was at that point

I was one and I was so all in on John Kerry me too. I didn't like him at the time I was he wasn't my choice during the primary. I was like this is a guy We got to get behind him and I just remember hearing that and seeing it and there's this pin of my stuff Yeah, this is just sinking feeling boy. Yeah reporting for duty. I was yeah, I was like, oh, I'd love to see car Rove attack him over Extremely Later at the RNC, they're all wearing fucking purple heart Band-aids and I remember every liberal was outraged at that, but I was like, I'm sorry. That is such a huge dick move

Yeah, these guys are playing an easy mode. You guys are getting washed they got yeah I do remember thinking like I was I wanted Howard Dean. Obviously. Yeah, we were all Dean. Yeah But I was like well if we don't get him if we get Wesley Clark I was excited for Wesley Clark. I was a John Edwards man. So I was like there's something about this guy I didn't like his politics, but I like how he treated his wife I Was like it's just some about this guy I don't know

But yeah, like just back to Naomi Wolf for a second. I like I don't know at what point in her career She transitioned into having like from the like the most like kind of stereotypical like college professor liberal like feminist perspective Adopting from that angle Virtually every crank belief you can have in America like she like chemtrails Apple time machines Wi-Fi 5g which led to the fucking amazing tweet where she was just like walking around without Wi-Fi its peace Calm is in the air. It reminds me of Belfast in the 70s Such an art it's like that's the thing

It's like there are people with like crazy opinions But it's like you get like a prefab built thing of crazy opinions like if you're a conservative guy It's like oh, you're just repeating something. It's on like gab or whatever, but she's she's like organically like she's creating Artisanal takes yeah, she's sitting down and it's like what's the dumbest shit like take I could have on this It sucks like it sucks like someone was probably like they should probably get reported a lot by people who like freak out about that Type of thing and they're like, oh, you're not Naomi Wolf. You're gonna get people killed and it's like no she isn't Like she's a respected doctor. Yeah, people listen to her. No one listens. This is it It was amazing to go to Belfast

I know it was amazing to go to Belfast Which does not yet have 5g and feel the earth sky air human experience feel the way it did in the 70s Calm still peaceful restful natural She snapped Absolutely, you could literally just spend a day at the pub in 70s Belfast and hear a car bomb every hour. Yeah Yeah There's another one very distressing. I saw a cloud in London that did not move at all along with other eyewitnesses Some clouds in New York that didn't move much like this video. I saw a cloud that didn't move with other

witnesses See that was great cuz like to chemtrails are one thing. Okay, that's a chemical trailer airplane is leaving What is the non-moving cloud? What does she think it is? Is it like a serve? It's like a blimp a camouflage blimp that's that's spraying more gel ins on us. What the fuck does she think it is? This is a the account the at at the real truth here put together this little compilation I'm just reading some of them now. This is a replying to at Alaska air Thank you for noticing my tweet Alaska Airlines. Is it normal for contrails to simply not dissipate but spread and create cloud cover? She's adding airlines about chemtrails. That would be it's like I

No one has fun anymore. Yeah, because it's like if you were the kid if you're the airline social media manager Why don't you just be like, oh, sorry? Oh my bad We were doing chemtrails my bad What's so good about it is because it what makes it interesting is it yeah It's Felix that it's the artisanal nature of it because the takes like as a whole her opinions It is sort of a QAnon shaped like conspiracy cloud but coming from this like this this legacy like academic liberal lady

So that means that she's using her own Vocabulary to say this stuff that nobody else in her group is saying and that gives it a freshness and the Effervescence. Okay. This is a good one. I know this is unwelcome. We'll be attacked But many people who are unvaccinated are reporting feeling ill vertigo nausea headaches flu like symptoms And if female menstrual like cramping after extended close contact with vaccinated people now watch the trolls appear He's an artist she's talking about the clockwork elves that she talks to yeah, there's really like I mean I just I can't get inside the mind of someone who like needs to report her. Yeah, like you're in you're a dick Many are reporting weird or uncanny or something wrong sensation after being around vaccinated people

Severe mood effects such as depression out of nowhere for no reason PMS type moodiness and non menstruating women neediness as in pregnancy something hormonal seems in Yeah, you're right God oh man also speaking of idiots Did you see of another just top tier fucking moron? Zeni Jardin's sweet that like this is fact not conjecture both Jeffrey upscene and just Lane Maxwell. We're gay I just happy pride. I

Just like that's baffling to me Like I mean Okay, so should they like should she not go to prison should she go to prison more issue? Are they worse or better because of it like what and then people were like He was just like this is fact not conjecture and people were like What do you mean like the guy who was most famous for like doing sex crimes to teenage girls is gay and she was like You're telling me a straight man would walk around outside in a day with a monogram bathrobe and slippers and it's like you Didn't do that never saw a single photograph of him

He was always wearing some dumpy harbored sweatshirt. Yeah fucking quarter zip or whatever. Yeah, that's like one of those things where it's like Um, it's feminine to order dessert like if you were That's my new favorite type of account on Twitter is women who exist to just find like New vast swaths of human activity in life that if you engage in as a man means you're gay I mean those are usually jokes. Yeah, yeah, they're funny though They're really funny, but like that's like it just like he didn't wear bath robes like okay slip like didn't like Like every like boomer owned slippers like it's so confusing. I can't figure out what she's doing I can't figure out like what her angle with this is it's bizarre

And then like and this is weeks after like she's like, yeah, I was at all the up-seen dinners in 20s Yes, and it was like was up. She what excuse me. Well, that one's so do you think she's lying? I think she just want like I think we're sorry like I think she wants to be cool He wants to be cool and it's like her way of saying is like I was he's like, yeah I had this connection and now I have inside her secret knowledge about this like, you know scandalous You know the powerful network of crime and corruption or whatever that I never actually report I don't only in tone vaguely about like, you know, like just queuing on shit. Just be like watch this space She has intimated that we're going to jail. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No. Yeah for like Russia stuff

Yeah, but like that one's interesting though because like I I have to believe she's lying because it's like those Epstein dinners the people it would be there would be like yeah Bill Gates and like Harvard professors and it's like Aren't you like don't people know who you are because you made a website in like 2002 called like tech buffet or something? Like why would he invite you like what could you tell him? No one knows who you are have to offer Yeah, I gotta believe she's not telling the truth there. I could be wrong though. I don't know I mean, yeah, like I I think yeah, like she's I think she's just a liar like and I think you're right man Like I think the thing is like even if it's like this is a really embarrassing weird and like creepy thing You're admin. I think it's just like she wants to be cool. Yeah, she wants to be seen as cool

I'm like she's always Intoning about like I know what's coming like if you had access to the information I do it was like aren't you a reporter like Fucking like aren't you a journalist technically like that if you have information Shouldn't you share it with the public and she's like when the time is right? And all of her all of her like a Informative weed smoking post bad sign if somebody talks a lot about smoking weed. It's always bad sign You should just do it back like you've smoked like you've been there. Yeah, spoke like you've been here before I Like her because she's like before she started doing all this

She was like did all the things that I think make Gen Xers like uniquely funny like the thing where it's like Oh, I drink whiskey with lemmy from Motorhead She told us a story where she was like, yeah when I was 12 I drink all night with Motorhead And it's like a I don't believe you but B if that's true that like makes them seem lame not you seem cool This is a more Naomi Wolf here not trying to scare anyone But as we know now as we now know 13 months late that the virus was a possible bio weapon and hundreds of conflicted Scientists business people and bureaucrats hid that info and aided our enemies How do we know for sure that the vaccines are also not a possible bio weapon?

Which is like I like that she says not trying to scare anyone but the vaccine could be a bio weapon It's like did you tweet that like with a flashlight under your chin at a campfire? Okay, okay, this is my this is my favorite. This is what I was talking about originally It seems urgent for public health to separate vaccinated people's urine feces from general sewage supplies waterways Till studies are done on how MRNA sewage drinking water will affect all the ad campaign tried to make unvaccinated Toxic to others, but maybe reverse is true. It's like, okay, even if that were true What are you gonna tell all vaccinated people? I'm just start shitting in a bucket in your house Like don't put it don't flush any don't flush your piss and shit. Look you'll take my my

Vaccinated sewage water from my cold dead hand. Okay, it's delicious. It's refreshing Mm-hmm. Yeah, I need my RNA. I worked. I'll talk before before I've had my sewage piss the RNA water I worked really hard on that log You're not just taking it from me I'll say the thing I saw this morning like first thing I saw when I got up this morning is that Apparently Jeff Bezos is gonna go into space with his mother Month next month my business is gonna good like be launched on any rocket with his brother Who it like looks like a complete weirdo? We were sick. He's a cowboy. Oh

Elon Musk has one of those cowboy brother. Yeah He get Kimble Musk is a cowboy and it's like you have him all musk Yeah If you have if your brother is like an evil like your brother is like an evil guy who has like 50 billion dollars It's like well, I can't just be like a generic There's the third coke brother Why dad has a has an old West ghost town that private ghost town in Colorado that he hangs out in yeah It's like Billy the kid's pistol and shit

Yeah, if you're the brother to the guy with like 50 billion dollars It's like I can't just be like a regular businessman or like lawyer or something. That's embarrassing Yeah, I have to become a cowboy and it's like good cool But uh, yeah, no, it's like I think it's like before he steps down from CEO of Amazon. He's he's going to space He's gonna be launched and it's just like there's only one outcome that could make this You know, I mean hope nothing bad. Oh, yeah Yeah, my sister I I'll just say it will be a challenge for him to go to space

My sister sent this article to me my brother and was like, why don't you guys do this? No, thank you, I will who wouldn't love some sibling of vibing in outer space me and my brother would have a great time Absolutely, what would you do in orbit in zero grab my brother implied that if we did it I would bring children's books about apes and stables, but I would actually be doing bringing books for adults about them Why why are you bringing books about into space? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah No, yeah, let me just meet an alien with nothing that I can you don't need an alien You're just you're orbiting there. You don't know what if one shows up We've been doing this. Okay

We've been doing this thing where we go into like a big shitty room that floats above the earth for a year for like what? It's like 1973. Yeah in alien Like to an alien like a hundred years is probably like a day Mm-hmm, and it's like you could just be just you know Random luck you could be on the space station crew or spaceship crew that gets visited by the Covenant and it's like if they do come You know a I'm bringing those books because I want to learn more about my favorite animals But B if they board the spacecraft and like hang out with us and they're like what types of animal? What types of things you have on earth? I don't want to just describe it

I want to be like here's everything about them And so you can put them in your biological 3d printer, and we can make one and they can hang out on the spaceship I do I think that would be a hazard to like the International Space Station We're like just a a bioprinted alien sable in zero gravity. Oh, oh, yeah There's so many examples of this going wrong. Well, the first time they ever did it and it's like yeah There was stuff that went wrong on Apollo 13, but they lived It's like the baboon scene and yeah, I mean what is it is it just tourism is that what it's just like hey You want to I think it's just like this is a new thing for like really rich people to do

Yeah, it's like there's nowhere else to go I mean like obviously like I would truly like you know cherish the ability to like to see planet earth from space To like to exist in zero gravity It's like to see the planet to to slip the bonds of earth's gravity well and like like be in the void of the universe Looking down on all planet earth, but like Not after like not before it gets like very common to do I'm not going to be the first or second person to do this commercially. I mean even if even if I could afford it I gotta say I

I mean it is kind of Shocking that he's gonna do it that soon because fucking musk has been on this bullshit for years now and he's not getting into that fucking rocket Well, Felix, you remember on billions where the Elon Musk character actually did that and then died and all up on television After fucking Paul Geum on his wife. He like dicked down Maggie sif and was like all right. I'm done. I have done enough Which is like good facts, dude Yeah, like if like okay Like Maggie sif is like I'll fuck you but like we can't be boyfriend and girlfriend And like because you know you go to space too often and you don't like getting peed on

Yeah, whatever like whatever like I remember that was the thing she was like this is just a one night thing And it's like okay. Who is that like you have sex with like the hottest woman in whatever showtime series you live in Which is another project I'm working on with the aliens to make this showtime network another strain of reality I would like to step into the radar of a portal Do the stargate Independence Day fighting against the Ray Donovan aliens It just it's just like all scowling middle-aged men in like black button-up shirts But um

Yeah, no, um It's like okay, you have to do that and then you have to like um All right, is your space is your spaceship work? I don't know. Let's find out. Oh, I'm gonna explode. Okay Well, I fucked Maggie sif. So yeah going out on top that guy had a great life. Yeah Yeah, could I think of anything better weren't want to do in my life? I'm so excited for billions to come back Felix. I just have you ever seen contact Yes at the end of contact when they're like we've taken the form of something that makes sense to you But you meet the aliens and it's just Ray Donovan

Yeah That's one of uh, you know one of my family's business ideas We've uh, oh, we have a please tell well I you know I told you guys about the one off-air and it's like a lamp you call the sun lamp Where you put a bullshit solar panel or rock on it better yet a rock That doesn't even like absorb energy, but you're like you have to put it near a window sunlight and then it will shoot like um like light from the light bulb that replicates sunlight and it's for people who have depression And it's like it doesn't work. It's complete. So it's pseudoscience. It would cost 130 dollars

Everyone below the age of 29 would buy one. You'd make like 20 billion dollars, but uh our other idea and this is I can't This is actually um from my brother and sister talking about billions Uh, it would be called the showtime collection And it's a collection of shirts inspired by and worn by characters on billions homeland Uh, you know ray donovan all those shows Like we all know how those characters look with californication and it shows. Yes. Yeah californication would be like the casual collection But they're they're especially built for like a type of middle-aged man that you know He's battling carbohydrates

In his middle age. He still wants to look sleek. He wants to look cool like ray donovan like bobby axe like bobby axe And it's what they are is their black button-up shirts and dark blue ones and like very skinny donna Karen men's suits That essentially like the midsection is sort of like a kevlar material that acts as like a corset Right for love handles and stuff. Yeah, and I think that would be pretty cool I think a lot of older guys would be interested in that. Yeah, and um No, that idea I mean even if that idea doesn't make a lot of money because the margins on clothing can be bad All right, it would make people happy. I'm just don't think about chris's idea like of contact

The aliens take take just take a form that like you is like understandable and in contact, of course It's like her dead father And it's like very beautiful and meaningful but like I go through the fucking wormhole and then it's just like Hello, will it's me. It's me. Damien lewis. I'm talking an american accent because you remember me as From band of brothers and billions Well, will you have to go do the big trade? What does it mean Damien? You have to do the trade will yeah, you have to you have to short it or axe cap will be insolvent

You have to see metallica in Iceland Billions is so fucking awesome Um, I need it to come back. It's no they're filming again because the last season the last season was like a bridge You know, I mean we didn't get like a real resolution to like um Is like how's maggie saves relationship with frank grillo the artist Best artist in the world Yes, please an artist and a painter and there are so many scenes where it's like, um

Like bobby axe is trying to like big dick him by being like, what if I gave you uh 200 million dollars to make a bunch of paintings? and frank grillo is like I hate it when money gets involved in my art And he convinces him to be like uh to like take this uh, I don't know like residency with like to create artwork for bobby axe exclusively by giving him the best pizza in the world that bobby axe also owns Yeah There's this awesome scene where like uh, maggie sif the uh, frank grillo bobby axe and wags are like having dinner and the chef is like Some slave that bobby axe bought

Is like some like just he's like, what is he like? He looks like one of the myth busters He's like that type of older older dude with the like big thick glasses And he's he's like What's that french dish where you like drown the bird? Oh, uh, or the lawn or the lawn bunting. Yeah, you'd like eat or the lawn and bobby axe Like they do that and then bobby axe like continues to hit a big dick frank grillo by being like So is this the most money you've ever seen before? Like it's such a cool show. I can't wait. They're setting everything up so that axe and um

Maggie sif bone each other like it's like sort of like they've been building towards that for a long time Towards that since the first step remember like it's the third episode where they just like to avoid wire taps They both like get into a like a big bathtub together Got it It's such a rewatch billions again billions fucking rocks like you don't everyone's watching so much bullshit That they're like it's good because it makes me feel bad. No billions is actually the best show No, you said it's sons of anarchy for quarter zip fleece guys Yeah, no, if you're like too smart for sons of anarchy like you want to watch it, but it's like

Okay, I can't relate to like white trash criminals. Well, yeah, the deals aren't big enough. Yeah, the Yeah, the biggest deal they ever did on sons of anarchy was for 30 grand. Yeah, no bobby axe like pisses that away Like it's offscreen. Yeah, but no, but on billions. Oh my god They should do a crossover and like on billions Bobby acts like buys the sam crow and he's like, this is my biker gang. They're my personal biker gang I'm sponsoring sam crow. They become his viringian guard That would be well, they would ruin act cap like one day there and they're like accidentally killing half the traders Yeah, maybe like maybe they last a little longer now that jacks is dead

But it's like I do not see that being like a good relationship But I know they're like we liquidated all of the assets to buy ping ball machines. Yeah I there should be a crowd. Oh bobby axe could get a lot of mileage out of the protagonists of the Mayans who has a photographic memory. Oh, you're right. Yeah There's like you put that put that put that put that guy in front of a bloomberg terminal Get him on the floor. Get him on the floor. Yeah, dude dollar bill mean the actor who played Who plays dollar bill got into an argument over max rose and it's the first time That I've ever been like

The earnestly like sir. I love your work. I just don't wait a minute. You got a twitter argument with david constable No, no, no, I'm not wax a dollar bill. Oh, yeah, I meant to say dollar bill. Yeah, uh, kelly Kelly o coin kello kelly o coin and I was like sir It's the first time I've ever done this where I like mean it in earnest And it's like I actually love your work, but like I just don't agree with you on this I don't like what max rose said about elinomar sir, and he's too short Yeah, yeah, but it's like but I still followed him or still follow him He's not followed me back. That's fine. He's a better artist than me, but um,

No, that's um, that's the best show Well, I mean like lastly though to close out here today I'm you're talking about like a men's fashion and like the a certain kind of yeah Like middle-aged older men who's who's you know losing the war on carbohydrates. Yeah, we're all fighting it We're all fighting. I mean, it's hard to imagine life without it. You know red Love it. Love it. It's great. It's great. It's awesome. We do love it the other thing Okay, so this video everyone was sharing the other day of uh, You know the true president of athletic city Donald Trump

He was back again, and he was wearing what looked like to be Suit pants that were on backwards And people say people said it was on backwards. You couldn't see like a fly or whatever But I think like they're missing the more important point of that image Which is that we must return to again and again as we always do Trump is Dipped up. Dipped up. Oh my god. He's 100% typed up. The only way that that and his suit pants have to be like because it's ballooning They're almost like mc hammer pants. They have to be like so blousy and like like so fucking like even there

In even with the big blousy fabric. You can see this huge wreckage. You see the bulge And it's like unless he's like stuffing his gut under his belt. That's got to be a diaper He is most likely wearing a diaper because it's like you do have to pay the piper sometimes and it's like you look at like How shitty his habits are? Yeah, it's like he does literally everything. They tell you not to do like I can't imagine He really drinks a lot of water. No, sir. I don't think he has drank water. She's ever drunk in 1973 He has never drunk a glass of plain tap water in his life. He's got to be like the first guy who is like I just don't like the taste of water. Yeah. No, he's for the guy who invented that. He's like it's yeah No, it's disgusting doesn't taste like anything tastes like anything. Why would you drink it fools drinking this? No, thank you

um He sleeps like three hours a night Just eats fucking refined processed shit. I mean the only bad habit he doesn't have is like smoke it And drink smoking and drinking the too cool bed. Yeah, but it's like yeah You got to pay the piper and he's like somehow still alive. He survived corona virus I guarantee you he will live to be in his stances. Oh, yeah, and that's because his ass is like a malfunctioning slurpy machine Yeah, no, it's just a paper. It's always coming out So I can't build up. It's just always dripping. You hear that Naomi Wolf. He's unvaccinated. It's good to go in the sewage system

Yeah, well, he's like you can be around Trump's dumps Naomi. It's okay. You won't feel menstrual cramps He's like that's absolutely it like paying the piper for him is just like he can't like walk an inch without like some really like like gross like weirdly dark pee or like Liquid crap coming out. Yeah, you know Yeah, yeah, and if it wasn't for that, he would have exploded long ago. Yeah like a deer tick. Yeah, like him The idea of him taking a shit like really like that's got to be difficult for him. I can't imagine. He was sitting on a toilet

Yeah, yeah, it just happens while he's standing. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's um, and it's nothing to be ashamed of no Hey, it's helped. It's got it's gotten this far. Yeah, people making fun of Donald Trump for like It's crapping and for being in constant. Yeah, everywhere. He goes all the time 24 hours a day. It's like, you know He's not going to see that but I who also do that not because of a medical problem. I just like I just you know Sometimes you don't want to take a stroll Sometimes you're engaged in a good conversation and you just got to let a little hard A little hard marble of crap. Um, I Will see it and it will hurt my feelings

well on that note Let's close out today's show Uh listeners wish us luck tonight. Lady luck will be on our side Tonight we will be playing the loosest slots in America. I will be hopefully winning big on the following slot machines Uh, our suspicious dragons mysteries of the orion Arabian thieves

Luck owed uh luck owed to mix I will be playing the californication slot machine. I'm hoping to get three new companies or at least two madeline zimas How is by the way, how is there not a billions fucking slot machine? This is absurd. I'll be playing I would depend the the chinese panda slot machine Uh, god, um a lady fortuna the sexy slot machine Oh, you know if you're against like if you're like, oh, I hate wokeness start gambling. It's true. There's no It's true. You go to the slot machines. They have never heard of cultural appropriation or if they have they think it's good There should be there should be a

Like they've never done this obviously because of like so many of the people who come here are just like it's like Ancient jewish guys from long island, but it would be fun if there was slot machines It's the greedy jew Because they have everything else rabbis treasure He's like running to make sure you don't get his treasure that's buried in the Torah Every rabbi treasure. I took a photo of this one last night. It's called uh Riches with daikoku and it's this is like like cartoon buda figure

It's smiling with like a foo man shoe mustache. It's like they do it for everyone else. It's true It's like we should like it's just fair game like yeah My grandmother always warned me about gambling because she said it's the jew's voice Which is you know For me, it's not but for people who are bad at it. Yeah. Yeah, but um, you know, we should be represented on there Yeah, you either got to make fun of everyone or no one. Yep, and that's why the thulian will just be rune scrying in feats of strength Yeah, it's cable cable caber tosses. You can you can get a rune there, but you have to defeat another patron. Yep, exactly They're not assigned

And anytime so we could just come in the room and you have to kick them out and if they get you well You got to fight somebody else. Yeah, you can't complain to the sorcerer who's in charge of the casino Instead of pit bosses, they have mages Instead of dealers, they have clerics All right I just want to at the very end of the episode. Thank everybody who tuned in to the uh, the frequency one festival over the weekend Uh, it was Really really great really great vibes throughout the entire day. Um, and I from what I saw it seems like people very much enjoyed it

So I wanted to thank you Uh, I also I need to debrief with the frequency people to confirm how this will happen But because I know that there were some tech difficulties At the very beginning for the one set and then when everybody came in to see chapeau We will be releasing those uh standalone videos to at least paying people who bought tickets to at least ticket holders And possibly just publicly. I don't know. I have to figure out exactly how this is going to work and connect with frequency But the chapeau and e1 shows will be made available for at least ticket holders and then just

On this, you know, we've already been talking about like now that we've done this once we can maybe do it again You know, there are different lots of different ways. We were doing this I mean, there's no guarantees of this but once we can tour again Maybe we do something like I don't know do an e1 chapeau show in another city with maybe a band and put that on frequency as well As being just like a live show that people can come and attend. So it's like both. I don't know There are a lot of things we can do with this. Thank you for tuning in meant a lot to me I had a great time and I know everybody else did and uh, it all was done. Thanks to the absolute Uh grinding of chris way. Uh, so uh, big ups to him for putting that together

It was a fucking insane Like list a list of performers like incredible and I like to hear a lot of like feedback from like people who tuned in or Whatever who said that like yeah, like I bought tickets to see chapeau or e1 But if you only watched them like you fucked up because the music acts were all fantastic They were all really fucking good and uh, it was uh three cheers for chris ray hip hip hooray hip hip hooray hip hip hooray Hey, what? What? Shit. Fuck. All right. Goodbye everybody. Bye Oh

Well, I got a job and I put my money away But I got to kind of death and no honest man can pay