Chapo Trap House - 594 - Adult Roller Coaster (1/17/22)

Episode Date: January 18, 2022

So I (Chris) take one week off producing for a little vacation and somehow the boys manage to accidentally record all three of themselves into just one mic track for this ep? Idk I literally can’t leave these jokers alone for one minute. Our guest editor did heroic work getting this listenable, but sorry for the “chapo classic” audio quality. Anyway, the boys are back in town and California dreamin' on such a winter's day, they discuss whether MLK's civil rights rings are legit or Mickey Mouse, ongoing COVID hysteria, demand parents leave twitter for Facebook, how shitty it is to be a kid these days, and finally Felix debuts his idea for an adult Six Flags Great Adventure.

Thank you, New York. As we as we honor the life and times of Dr. King during some of the most difficult moments. When the civil rights battle was on the line, Dr. King wanted the ball in his hand and he gave his life to ensure that our country would be a better place for all of us. Right now, we want the ball in our hand again. As we deal with COVID, as we deal with crime, as we deal with uncertainty. Let's win this for Team New York and Team America. Let's take the ball and have the final goal. Thank you very much. Thank you, Mayor Adam. Greetings friends. Hello, it's Strappo. I'm gonna let you on this Martin Luther King

Day holiday. We are all California dreaming right now back in the same room. I can I can I can feel my brothers. I can sense them. I can feel their vibrations. I take in their sense and embrace them in a masculine embrace. But even when we're in California, I just want a little little news from back east. Quote, when the civil rights game was on the line, Dr. King wanted the ball in his hands. Mayor Eric Adams said before tip off of today's Nick's Hornets game. How are we gonna handle this? How are we gonna handle a mayor with this much swag? It's been a week, right? That he's been in office. Yeah. And every day

he's just got another banger. It's like Trump level. He is the Democratic Trump 100%. Yeah, no, the same thing with Trump where any input into him, no matter what it is, whether it's Martin Luther King Day, no matter if it's the question, do you live in New York, whatever it anything you put in is gonna come out funny because his his the way they make the sausage is so fucking weird. And you like with Trump, you can't really figure out how he got there. No. Like we'll never know why Trump said this hurricane is one of the wettest we've seen from the standpoint of water. And we'll never know. We can like kind of figure it out like

that using context clues like backwards engineering his sentences with Eric Adams. It's like, okay, I guess he like he saw he was at a basketball game and was like, oh, Martin Luther King basketball. But then his his sports analogy isn't even like really specific to basketball. It sounds more like a football one. Yeah. Yeah, I do agree with him, though, that, you know, if it's the fourth quarter of the civil rights game, mad dog, if it's the fourth quarter of the civil rights game, I want the ball in the hands of Martin Luther King, Jr. I'm sorry. He's just those other guys, your Malcolm's exes, your Stokely's Carmichael's, you're talking

about chokers there. I want it in the hands of Martin Luther King. Of course, the problem is you might have to worry then about the FBI issuing a rough technical. Yeah, dog, dog, you've got, you've got great, great civil rights leaders, Bayard Rustin, Medgar Evers, then you got immortal civil rights leaders, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Jr. I mean, I don't know. People yell at Marcus Garvey for like, not knowing how much time was on the clock, like J.R. Smith. I don't know. Marcus Garvey with that hat. We're talking about a showboat, folks. Me first, me first player, not, not willing to put the ball, hand the ball around. I'm sorry.

Dog, I have a first time, long time here. You know, I'm tired of hearing all the praise from Martin Luther King, Jr. He got only Mickey Mouse rings. He was supported. You couldn't win the title. Couldn't win the civil rights act without Lyndon Johnson in the center. They had to build a dream team around him. He's a fraud. Yeah. He did not focus on fundamentals. Like all the sports, Twitter people's nicknames for civil rights leaders, like they call them Malcolm X. Like if you're, if you're not a Malcolm X fan, you call him Malcolm XX because he's a girl. Martin Luther Queen. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. I've just, yeah.

We need to bring like the Le Beach, LeChina, LeCovid nickname convention to everything. I mean, I think we need to bring the convention of like tri-state area sports callers and just like the need to rank all individuals based on like just metrics and analytics and things like that. And just like have similar conversations about who is, who's a great player versus an overrated player. Yeah. Who's an immortal player versus a, you know, just simply someone who's won a championship or two. If you're, if you deal with mass shooters and Stephen Paddock is like your Steph Curry, you're like, he's just the best at

the long distance. Numbers don't lie. Yeah. Numbers don't lie. I'm sorry. Am I gonna have to be the one to say it? Paddock's a choker. He was up there. He had an hour to be shooting. He fired for 10 minutes. He had all those guns. The numbers are way worse than they could have been. He did not meet his potential. Okay. That's all I'm gonna say. All the Columbine guys are like the people who can't let go of the 90s bulls. It's like, okay, that was like, it's like 30 years ago now. Like you have to root for another team or something. There've been so many other great teams other than the Transcope Mafia. Yeah. Calm down. And then

you got like, like the people who like Carl Unruh, the guy who just shot everybody in like 1948 in New Jersey. That's like somebody who really loves Bob Coosy. Yeah. And like the Robert Ory, like the guy who was just on all these teams and just happens to have all these rings. That's the FBI. All they did was tell them to do it. J. Edgar Hoover was the Phil Jackson in front of the Triangle offense. Yeah. Anyone could have done it with that team. Yeah. Well, you know, it is Martin Luther King today. So a periodic reminder that he was 1000% assassinated by the US state. Absolutely. That one is not a hard one. But

you know, like, as we like to say, everything's different now. And that's when the FBI was bad. Yeah. Now they're good. Now they're charging the bad guys with sedition. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, let's talk about that. Was it like the Oath Keeper's guy was fine. The Oath Keeper guy or several of the guys, several of the Keeper of Oaths, they were charged with sedition. Hell yeah. I love that. And you know, like, I love all the like, like the blue check accounts that are like game set and a match to anyone who says that it was merely a riot and not an insurrection because like, apparently, like on Fox News, they're just like, if

it was an insurrection, how come no one was charged with treason? And like, what? Like, what do you think the Justice Department wasn't watching the TV and they were like, oh, shit, we better get on. Yeah. Someone with sedition. Yeah. Yeah, they're calling you pussy. Yeah. I love this shit. It's like, we're back to like, whiskey rebellion days now. We got fucking sedition charged. That's awesome. I get so fucking, dude, I get so dushed out when just regular Democrats say seditionist and insurrectionist because it's like, it's like, man, you just want to, you wish this was reconstruction. Yes. Like, this is, it's like, come on. I

guess everyone does that. Everyone cosplays in America to some extent. Yeah. Like the, I mean, 1776 will commence now and then you just like make more posts. Yeah. That's what everyone is like, kind of, but it just, like, it all, it all dishes me out, but this is just the newest one. Yeah. Did you see the, the guy who was charged with sedition, the, the, the, the head. He's got an eye patch. Absolute thumb, man. I guarantee you his eye is fine. I guarantee you he got pink eye and got so fucking excited. Actually, the story is the real story, according to him, makes me think that's not true because I would not say this was what

happened if I was, if it happened to me. He was a firearms instructor and he dropped a loaded gun and it shot him in the eye. Damn, dude. Wait, this is what he admitted. Yes. This is what he admitted. So it has to be so much worse. It has to be so much worse. He like, he, it has to be like a really dirty guy was fucking his wife and he like barged in and the guy pulled out and his like super HPV come shot into his eye and gave him like ocular ovarian cancer. Yeah. Yeah. The dog. Yeah. Yeah. It was just like the dirty, the dirtiest guy in their neighborhood and the doctor's like, yeah, you're actually the first man to get

ovarian cancer in his eye and we have to take it out and he's like, oh, I, I actually dropped my gun. I lost my eye in the kinetic style situation with several kids with slingshots and BB guns. Yep. So yeah. Patriots are in charge. Yes. Ditions are being arrested. It's all happening. Mackinon is, is happening. They're going to roll up all of the networks. Everyone's going to jail. You can all be happy about it. Get your popcorn ready. Get your popcorn ready. But no, which is one more thing on the Oskippers guy. Like, so he's, he's, he's a thumb man. He's an absolute thumb man, but he's got a badass eye patch, which is

like, you know, obviously makes me think of snake Pliskin. Yeah. And all I got for this is he's snake Pliskin. If the snake were one of those like anacondas that just swallowed a tapir and is just sitting in the fucking jungle for like 10 days, is it slowly digest the entire thing? The snake from the little prince after it swallows the elephant. All right. I'm trying to look this guy up. I get like, oh yeah, I get bad reception here because I was, I was erroneously placed on a like NATO color revolutionary anti Gavin watch list, even though I'm an independent journalist and I'm actually like, I've interviewed a lot of pro regime

people. Actually, but we got to start our own like a sort of like Grey Zone style media outlet, but only for California. Yeah. Defending, defending actually existing Gavinism. Yeah. No, I rock with I rock with Grey Zone. Shout out to Aaron, shout out to Ben, shout out to Rania, but also like no insult to Grey Zone. Yeah. We just support the California regime. We just love like we like Gavin Gavin's a super gremlin. He really is. He really is. He makes me think of that song. I can't. My reception is too shitty to find this guy, but I'm assuming he's just like he has like one of those great builds. He's like the California Raisins dad. You know what

I mean? He's just like, yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Here he is. Oh my god, dude. Oh my god. That's dude. That's snake potato skin. Get out of here. My god. Oh, man. First, first you get charged with sedition, then some wiseacre on a podcast because you snake potato skin. That's a bad week. Yeah. What is what is what oath is he keeping the one to the clean? Fuck. God damn it. I choked. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. What oath is he keeping the one to the clean plate club? Damn, almost choked. You got it. Yeah. That's the beauty. I don't know if we leave that in or not. Will the world ever know? No, leave it in. Felix, I mean, he's the guy I want with the ball

in his hands. Absolutely. The fourth corner. I'm the real JR. I'm sometimes I don't know how much time's left on the clock. Sometimes women solicit you and then you're like trying to get the pipe. Yeah, no, that is, that's how I run. I either run game by being like trying to be like clever, like see like, if a woman jams me and see something in her profile and I'm like, Oh, Elliot Smith. And then I just totally got it wrong. It's not the what she's in front of saying that isn't the wall from the Elliot Smith album. And then she just stops messaging me or I'm like, so what did you major in in college besides making me DM you? Or, you know, sometimes I'm feeling alpha. Sometimes like the Adderall

is really kicking in and it's like, are you trying to get the pipe and neither work? Apparently Stuart Rhodes, not a cop. He was a former Army man and firearms instructor when he dropped his gun. But now he's a lawyer. So they're all lawyers. Yes, of course. They all my favorite guy, they're bringing back this teacup thing. This was like around when they thought Obama would do gun control. Do you remember the teacup thing where it was like, did you know that sheriffs actually have authority over the president and the sheriffs are going to arrest a bungler? Yeah. Yeah. The sheriffs are like sovereign, like lords of the land like medieval England style and they could just arrest anybody. Yeah. So when around

that time they started talking about lawyers like it was Dragon Ball Z where it was like, this guy is the best lawyer in the world. He's put 70 judges in jail. I've seen a lot of like, I've seen, I saw that a lot during Teacup and now it's coming back for this. There is one guy that Tony showed us where he has a ponytail and like little John Lennon glasses and he's apparently put hundreds of judges in jail and won millions of dollars suing counties for mask mandates and shit. And he and they're like, he's about to take on Biden and then like you look him up and it's, he's like currently in jail for fraud. But like that, they're all, they're all doing, they're all pretending to be lawyers now

or are like shitty lawyers. They like got certified as lawyers, like people get certified to preside over a wedding, right? Well, it's part of the sovereign citizen milieu, which is my favorite thing because it really is Harry Potter for constitution nerds because they genuinely think that there are magic words. And if you tell them to a judge, they have to let you go. They have to obey you. Like, like there's this, it's, it's like national treasure and there's a secret key on the back of the constitution. And if you know the words, they have to, and it has never, this is the amazing part. There's not a single moment where it has ever worked. There's never been a case where it's like, we got you dead to

rights for jacking off in front of the flagpole at city hall or whatever. And they're like, actually according to the statute of the Admiralty of 1785, I'm not under the jurisdiction of this court and had the judge go, God damn, he's right. I mean, I taste dismissed. That's never happened. What happens is they get tased, they shoot themselves and then they go to jail. I mean, I wish that were the case. I hate judges. Like, what's Felix's story? That story that, that story you shared about like a judge in Michigan that was like, it was like they're doing a woman like, like, uh, like it's all over zoom. And she told a guy who's 73 years

old and a cancer patient who was too weak to like mow his fucking lawn that she was like, you're a disgrace. And I would give you jail time if I could for not like cleaning the alley behind your house. And he's like on chemo. Yeah. I mean, we like, obviously we all out here, we all wish she got a big hug from a terminally ill man, a giant, wonderful hug. But also just as far as like representing America, she kind of should be on the Supreme Court. Absolutely. Because that like, there is, there is no greater like violence done to the American social

order than not mowing your lawn than having a lawn and not taking it. Yeah. Yeah. And fuck the, by the way, I fucked the neighbors for not like none of them. None of them are like, Oh, we could mow your lawn. Right. Man. It's not my job to mow your lawn. What a sad, sad place. Nobody wants to work anymore. No kids want to make a few extra bucks on the side. They're

all playing video games. They're all looking at TikToks and shit. Going back to the Harry Potter for conservatives, um, you know how we always talk about how we want to make our own Christian movie? Oh yeah. And we're like, we're going to do it. But like, yeah, look, I think this could be like we could just make Harry Potter for conservatives after the Christian movie. The Christian movie is the proof of concept. And then like a, you know, a chicken magnate in Mississippi will give us the money to make conservative Harry Potter. And it's about like a 39 year old

boy who like, it's sort of like Harry Potter. Like he has a sad life. His, his wife's a bitch. Um, he's, you know, he's just under the yoke all the time. He's always being told what to do. And one day like he gets pulled over like he does every night and he thinks it's the field sobriety test. And he's like, okay, I'll do this again. But it's actually Hagrid and he's like, we've been, we've heard you've been saying the words posse comma taught us. And you're actually like, you're chosen. You were actually like, you were, you were scarred as a child by a judge. And no one remembers it. Like, no, you don't remember it. But that's

why you have that scar on your head that's shaped like the, the naval flag. And it's about him going to conservative Hogwarts where they all like learn spells to cast on judges. The real parents were Oliver North and Fawn Hall. Yes. Yes. Oh my God. This is, I know this is another movie we're making that Oliver North is like really important in, but bear with us. Sign him to like a three picture deal. We got to make sure that he is on set for the whole thing. That's how we, that's how you sell things. When you go into studios, like it doesn't

matter how good your idea is, they want to know who's attached. And if they know that Oliver North is attached, they'll give you unlimited money. Absolutely. But back to the, you talked about like the Dragon Ball Z shit with, it says like, we're talking about this yesterday, like whether you are QAnon a person or a liberal who's obsessed with, you know, January 6th and, you know, fascism coming to America, like both sides invested in this. It's like watching 40 episodes of Dragon Ball Z where people are just with the Scouters or just like, they're like, I've never seen power levels

before. But then literally nothing happens. Just they're both traveling very long distances, you know, doing pushups and 100 G gravity to prepare for some fucking fight that takes you like, it takes 60 episodes to get there. And they're like, he's the most powerful we've ever seen. And then the next episode is like, his power levels are even higher. Yeah. Yeah. And the thing they're doing is just like filming each other on phones. Well, um, oh, here's what I want to talk about. Let's talk about Mackinac. He's doing it. Let's talk about Biden. Cause like, I just feel like, I feel like everyone is mad at Joe Biden right now. Everyone's left go branding. And you know, to a certain extent, they should

be. He's the president of the United States. This country sucks. But I got to say, I really, I really felt Joe last week when like he came out talking about their, their plans to fucking do filibuster reform or literally anything. It doesn't matter if it's filibuster reform or anything. It's just him talking about being in charge of the United States government. And he just goes, look, I don't know if we're going to be able to do it or not. Yes. And it's just like, we've talked about this over and over again, but like Biden is the guy that like, it's just because it's happening to him too. It's just, we're both holding hands as you know, the forces of history just push us out on an ice flow. And they're

like, it's going to be okay, man. Yeah, it's all right. It's fine. We're not going to get it done. No big deal. I like, I like that so much fucking better than like Obama going out there and pretending to cry. Oh God. Yeah. Like I was thinking about that. Yeah. Talk about gun control when he was like, well, Sandy Hook, moral imperative. I mean, I don't even care about gun control, but like they, they, there was that moment where it's like, this is going to be the thing we're going to do. And Obama is going to conjure his old rhetorical wisdom and, and magnetism to get us across the finish line. And then he just, he cried. He did some fucking fake tears. And then that was just it. They just

never talked about it again. But there's still, yeah, that need to perform this, this fake concern and fake rending of garments instead of guy just coming out being like, yeah, yeah, ice cream machines broke, buddy. Yeah. He's the perfect guy for it. I mean, like, there is theoretically a way for the president to like use the bully pole bit to pass something to like try to sway public opinion. The last time I saw Obama do it after he cried once and just gave up was in 2016 when he would, he was going on late night shows to demand we pass TPP, which was like, Oh, so that's, that's what got you, got you off the couch, huh? Nothing else, just that interesting. And also that probably did demonstrable

harm to Hillary, I would say the TPP shit, which is very funny. But I mean, Biden's not doing that. No, Biden's not going to get off the couch for anything. Like they are working so hard to get him outside like once a week. And he, everyone knows he's not going to do it. He's not going to bully pulpit it. I think if they, if they were just committing to like, we're going to give him so many stimulants, he's going to die in two years. I think it would kind of work because like the more people saw him just eat ice cream and be like, Oh, we need to pass this. I think he'd go back up. But truly his job is telling you the ice cream machine's broke. Yeah. I do like the idea of him just them just giving him the

pulp fiction, the adrenaline needle, and then sending him out on the fucking like Kimmel or Jimmy Fallon to like play a carpool karaoke or whatever. And just he starts bleeding from the ice. This is body can't handle being up past nine PM. Dude, he's like Cinderella. The eye turns back into like just a lump of blood. If he's the second the sun goes down, can't ride home in that carriage. You know, the national bereavement counselor, you know, it's just like, uh, he was like, look, uh, yeah, the Taliban defeated us. COVID also defeated us. Like it's just, don't worry, we're still going to kill plenty of Afghans, but not with drones. No, we're just going to do sanctions on them until they all start

to death. Nice and quiet. And he can do it because he's a loser. He is a loser and he doesn't mind being one. Obama's not a loser. Like he is like, it's sort of, you are sort of a loser if you're like, Oh, I'm going to snake my best friends to meet John Legend. But in your spirit, that is like a loser thing to do. He is a vile scumbag, but he has throughout his life only really succeeded on his own terms. Yeah. Whereas Biden has just eaten shit his entire life. Yeah. And he's, he really is, he's the best. He's the best at telling you we're out of stock. Hey man, what are you going to do? It's like, because you get to the store and you're like, he says, yeah, we don't have it. And you're like, what? I

said it was on the internet. And the person telling you it is just this confused old man is like, what do you want me to do, buddy? It's like, yeah, I guess you've got a point. You know, it just, it just drains it out of you because what are you going to do? You're going to yell at this old scarecrow with dementia. Some people are very committed to that though. And I really don't get how it's satisfying. I don't think it is. Yeah, they're miserable. But like, the people that I see yelling at him now, not the let's go Brandon people. We love and support. Yeah, we're part of that movement. We founded that movement. And we get five cents every time someone says we're so brand new. Our money is so good. Yeah.

Our money is, dude, we're caked up. We're the real heat. You should see how we're living out here right now. No, but like, specifically on like, like, like, like COVID shit because it is funny that like, just as many people are dying of COVID this year than last. Yeah. And you know, he's like, sure, sure, he came in with like, you know, we're going to, we're going to trust science. We're going to, you know, we're going to end COVID or whatever. Like, you know, obviously that isn't the case. But you know what, like, thanks to the Trump vaccine, it's just like, what more? Sure, he could just pay everyone to stay home or close the borders or whatever. But, you know, we all know that's not going to happen. And

you spent the last like a year before COVID being like, fuck Joe Biden. I'm never, I'm never voting for the Democrats. Like you can't get fucking angry that he's not doing enough to fucking like, yeah, I don't get it. Like, you know who this is, right? You know, you have all known who this guy is. I get being like, annoyed that this country is the way it is. But there should be no surprise or betrayal at the attitudes of these people. They were very clear. Yeah. I mean, they lied their asses off to get in. But like, you didn't believe him at the time, did you? When they were saying, we're going to roll up our sleeves at day one and everyone's going to get testing capability and we're going to do contact tracing.

Remember that one? Oh my God, imagine trying to do contact tracing in America. Like your computer comes up, you're trying to triangulate phones like in South Korea and you keep getting pop-ups for Bonsie Buddy. Imagine us trying to do anything like that. Like, it's done. It's done. It's just like we, on the episode of the bastard, we talked about like the hypothetical of how Trump could have like kept COVID from coming here. And the conclusion we came to is like, it's nearly like, you have to close the borders, you have to do contact tracing, you have to like nationalize food production and all this shit to bring down the amount of like trucks per person needed to fulfill the American consumption profile.

And there's no will to do that. With any level of it. Yeah. And with Biden, it's like, oh, he didn't like stop Omicron. And it's like, yeah, there was a window to do it like three months ago. Like same thing. Close the border. We blew it folks. Yeah. We blew it. No one can cut. No one can come in. No one can. Yeah. Like do like a full lockdown that likes of which we've never seen. And we didn't do it. We didn't do it. Nobody wants that. And I'm just like, I don't know. We were talking about this the other day too, but like, I'm just so sick of people complaining about COVID like now because it's like, either get vaccinated or don't, but like it's over if you fucking want it. Like there's nothing that you can't

do now. Like, you know, you go to a concert, go to a bar, they're open restaurants, like social life is available to you. And like if you've made, if you've exercised your rationality to whatever degree that like it makes sense to you that like you haven't gotten vaccinated at this point, then go with God. You're free. Like you've exercised your free decision. And you know, like whether you're against mandates or whatever, like that complicates matters, but like, I'm just sick of the people who are like been vaccinated like 10 times already. And they're just like live tweeting. I just got a positive test result or whatever. And it's just like, or they're just complaining about like other people going out and having

a social life or whatever. It's just like as is usually the case. So a solution to these problems lies in resegregating the internet. Yes. And one big way would be to literally have a different social media platform for people with children and one for people without children. Because I really do feel like if you've got a kid and they've got to go to school right now, I don't know how you think about anything else other than fucking COVID because it seems like an absolute fucking nightmare to try to parse that thing. But if you're just a person, you know, and you don't work in education and you don't have kids, I honestly don't know why it has to be like the fulcrum of your attention all the time

at this point. Right. Well, like the thing that like going to what Will said, like the thing that does drive me crazy is people who were like literally going on vacation, like traveling thousands of miles in like early to mid December, being like, this country's a disaster. We're killing everyone. It's like, what were you doing? Yeah. Like what were like when did when what is the line for when you're supposed to start caring again or stop caring again? It's completely it's arbitrary. And I do get like looking at the massive number of dead and looking at how unprepared in every way, both things that we gutted over 40 years, whether it's fucking hospital capacity or just anyone having a GP, people going to hospitals

now when because they like that's the only way they can get health care. Or just, you know, like whether it's the demand it got struck down or fucking whatever us not really being able to do contact tracing, I get being frustrated with that. But again, it's like, I like when when was it like December 12th when your personal habits start counting again? It's just very arbitrary with people. I think it's everybody is going through some everyone is going through their own personal Kubler-Ross cycle on this new reality. And this is a thing that I think we we pretty much called at even at the very beginning of COVID like, okay, what is realistically how is this going? What's the end game here? And I think what we came

to the conclusion was that the most likely outcome was that a ton of people dying, which had early COVID was something that everyone was acting like we were going to take seriously and try to prevent would eventually instead of being stopped would just be culturally normalized like cars, like cars, like school shootings, like anything else that you just take for granted as a risk of living in the United States. And that is now pretty clearly the path that we're on. And it but we couldn't just all in last year say that, you know, we have to go through the process of all finding out for ourselves just how broken and dysfunctional this country is just how far our understanding of what what civic capacity are and what they

actually are. And so we're all coming to the realization that oh, I am eventually we are eventually going to get to a point where all of this real like powerful emotional reaction to the true horror of just being like, yeah, six figure death tolls a year pretty much just like it's like weather, like that is a horrible thing to come to come to some sort of peace with and it does feel like a surrender to say we're going to just treat this like anything else in this country. But it's also at the alternatives to that just shed every moment of every day. And everybody is just going through their own personally calibrated Kubla Ross cycle getting to acceptance of it. But along the way, people are going to

keep denying and expressing rage and depression in the interim. Yeah, I mean, I think like on on every side of it, people ascribe like a set of highly articulated overarching motives, whether it's like, oh, they're trying like, they're trying to kill people or on the other side of it, like, oh, the the permanent like mask mandates and like universities and some municipalities, that's part of like a global control scheme. Right. And it's like in both cases, it's I mean, it's sort of wishful thinking. Yeah. Because I don't know how you can look at any of this and be like, oh, people like, there's a comprehensive goal that people could stick to for two years. Like, okay, why are why

are universities where people are 99.8% boosted? Why are they like taking students to pot housing deposits and like going back online and like screaming at at students who like slip their fucking mask off to take a drink of water in a class? Not because it's a social control scheme as much as it is like, what is a university and what do some municipalities in blue cities and states have to look like they're doing? They have to look like they're doing something and they have to cover their ass. That's like that. That's what everyone in America is doing. They're covering their ass so this thing can keep good so we can keep doing the thing we were doing. They're pandering or they have to pander to and on a college campus with

a bunch of young people and professors and everyone people who are largely liberal and have absorbed the the liberal morality structure of COVID. They have to be very serious about it. Even though all they really want is your fucking. Yeah, they want your housing department to keep running their hedge fund to keep running their fucking hedge fund. And then in places where it's a bunch of death driven broomers who don't even want to hear about COVID, you've got to keep things open and go go for it. There's it is just petty, petty tyrants in every nest of social order pandering to the expectations of the people that they're trying to fleece. Basically, yes. But yeah, I have, I guess I for a while was sort of on the fence

about the larger conspiratorial explanation about COVID, not that it was like deliberately released or anything. I don't think that or but you know, the idea that okay, this is being used as a way to enforce some sort of bio terror scheme. I could see why people find that compelling. Certainly when you consider like the uptake in awareness generally of like other conspiracies and other modes of life and I can see why people get can like see what's going on and kind of latch onto that narrative. But I don't know how you watch the last year under Biden. From last spring, when they said as soon as cases started going down after the first vaccine, first widespread vaccination push to say CDC say no more masks,

you don't have to wear masks anymore. Don't worry about it. Because they wanted to win. They wanted a fucking win. They wanted to say, hey, well, Biden's in and now you don't have to wear masks. And then they came back up and it's like, fuck, we have to put the mask on it. But they clearly didn't want to do that. And then the idea that there's any kind of idea of a of a bio fascist regime requires requires this concerted effort by government, like big business and the media to get everybody on with masks and vaccine mandates. And if that's the case, then why the shit after the mass vaccination had been like moved towards. Because you see so much in the mainstream press about breakthrough infections. Yes, those

stories have been buried the way that like the truth about ivermectin and shit was buried. If you really think that the government and the is directing through the media a like narrative to get you on board with global home or whatever the fuck that they would not have repressed that so people got fucking vaccinated. Instead, the media does what their short term interest is stoke, panic and anxiety, because that's what people fucking pay attention to. That's what people click on. And you had all these stories about how, oh, people still get sick if they've got the vaccine. And how the shit does that help your your imagined new world order to do that when your assumption is that these people are shaping the narrative.

And there are like, there are overarching conspiracies in American life. But at this, like at the same time, they're doing that they're doing that they're doing like the what is what will instantly help us right now CNN that like has bled 90% of its viewership. Oh, my God, what the fuck can we do? Oh, actually, actually, the vaccine doesn't do anything. Yeah, whoops. And, you know, completely muddies the water and that sort of shit probably helps plateau vaccination rates. And there are thousands of people who I feel like would still be alive. Yeah. At the same time, you know, when you go to like Los Angeles or San Francisco and you see people doing like the it's like March 2020, they're doing like the lineup outside

the store thing. And you're getting like in LA where it's like exactly the same case counts as New York. No one's like no one's really no one really like looks at all the extra stuff they do in LA versus like New York and goes like, Oh, this is really doing something. It's just like, Oh, I have to we have to feel like there's some someone's doing anything at all. We had like there has to be that's their short term interest. We have to look like our municipal government is in some ways responsible. Yes. Even if it is even with Omicron, it's kind of you're just kind of get this you're going to get the same thing. And people want to feel individually like they're participating in some sort of civic

project to make things better. At least some people, people who have been acculturated to you know, one set of values, the school of our values, they want to feel like they're doing something. They don't want to feel like one of them, one of those Neanderthals who doesn't care about other people. And so they want they want to give some sort of of active definition to their values, which of course everybody. Yeah. But but at this point, I mean, it doesn't really seem like it has any efficacy beyond just helping you through the site, helping you through the stages. If we're going to turn to the subject of petty tyrants for a second, I'd like to talk about parents. Yes. Like your your idea for a segregated

internet and like the thing is like that already exists. And like my thing is like, I have expressed no opinions, nor do I hold any opinions as it regards COVID and schools, whether they should be open or not. Yeah. Like I have no opinion about that because I don't have kids. Right. Right. It's not it's not an issue for me. Like I assume there's probably good arguments for and against not my thing, not interested, not a pedophile. Yeah. No, if you are like if you are a childless man and you're like, Oh, we need to open the high schools. It's like it's or yeah, if you're just if that's like the only thing you talk about, it's like, hold up. What's up? Because remember, you're not your your desire for it to happen isn't

going to make it happen one way or the other. Like these decisions are being made by stakeholders who have been insulated from any of your preferences because your preferences can only be expressed in powerless fashion. Right. And it's like it's a debate. I'm glad I don't have to weigh in on because it's like it's like it's like, yeah, like 20% of the teachers in any given day are going to have COVID. But then it's like, what the fuck do you do for single parent households or households where both parents work all day, which is a lot? It's it's tough. I'm glad I don't have to solve the problem. But if I did, I would start new schools that are in sports stadiums that are taught by people who don't care about getting COVID,

which can be anyone. They don't even have to just for a month until like Omicron's done. And then we teach racism and CRT at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's like IB and AP. And if you're like, if you're like, do really good on like inter international baccalaureate racism, you get to go to like Vanderbilt. If you're good at CRT, yeah, you go to new school. And that's yeah. But to your point, Matt, like this segregation internet already exists. If you have children and are on Twitter, just keep it to yourself. If you want to talk about your kids, go to Facebook. As soon as you become parents, you should just move from Twitter to Facebook. Now, here's what I'll say, though. The core, like a certain

core of the petty tyrants I'm talking about, the media moms and dads who are I like, for instance, Jonathan Shate today in New York Magazine, compared the decision to keep schools closed as long as they were to the decision to invade Iraq. That is something that he supported. Yeah, it's a good or bad. Yeah. And when you're talking about like, like, like the vendetta, these people already have against public teachers unions to begin with. I mean, I assume like most of their kids go to private school anyway. So I'm going to understand what the fuck their problem is. I mean, Jonathan Shate's wife works for a charter school corporation. But my point is, whether it's Jonathan Shate or Matt Iglesias

or like the really, really the parents of this class of people who are really, really want schools to be open, even though they already have jobs that are essentially work from home jobs that are essentially you could parent all day and work all day. No problem. You send a couple emails, write an article, you could homeschool your kids and still be making bank the way they do. I think like the really the issue going on here is that COVID has Catherine made this point. And it's like COVID has stripped away all of the sort of cheat codes that upper middle class people have for like offloading parenting. Yeah. Yeah, strip them of that. And now they're just home with their awful kids all day. And

for a guy like Chate or Iglesias or whatever, just seeing the smaller version of themselves who have imbibed all of throsmosis or otherwise, all of their values and genetic material is unbearable for them. So they'll do anything to get the schools open again. They just rid me of this demon, this little, this fucking homunculus, just hovering in the corner of my vision, reminding me of all of my own like basest failures as a human being. Could someone please take care of this for me? Yeah, no. So yeah, like if you want to talk mom and dad stuff, take it to Facebook. Yeah, no, Twitter is Twitter is for the childless, asocial maladies.

Twitter is for if you don't have a kid or you like, don't know about your kid or like, if you're not involved in their life, you can say. Yeah. Yeah. If that's like, if you're like, I'm a parent, but that doesn't define me. Yeah. So you can stay with us. Yeah. You can do the banter. Okay, you know, you can be a sort of if you can play it about family court. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Impression of fathers to the family. Yeah. That's okay. Well, people need to know that. Yeah. Yeah. If you're on my as a parent shit, you're no leave Facebook's right there. Take that shit to Facebook. I don't have to see it. Yeah. Don't give it. Don't care. Yeah. You can go live on Facebook. You can do all types

of shit. Do you ever see that thing where it was like, it was this woman who's like, I'm going out to smoke. Someone watch my kids for me and goes on Facebook live and people are in the comments and they're like, get off the table. Why doesn't yeah, why doesn't shade do that? Oh man. I'm going to say though, like a, like a guy like Jonathan Shade or Madaglacius writes like a contrarian case for why it's actually not a big deal to put your kid in a hot car. Yeah. You know, by the way, everyone got super pissed at you guys yesterday for that tweet he did about like my advice for aspiring writers is to position yourself as a contrarian conservative, like, or just sort of take like a heterodox

thinker who takes conservative positions from like a like liberal left wing point of view, which is like exactly his entire career. Right. And guess what? He's telling you what it looks like. Can anyone possibly state that Euglacius, like that very thing that he's describing that he has like lived his entire life and professional career on hasn't worked for him. You know, the dude is a fucking millionaire several times over. Yeah. So like, I mean, obviously you can like, you know, it's such a shitty worldly live in where like that kind of thoughtless careerism is rewarded where it just like, you know, serving Satan there in this life brings you punishment in the next, hopefully. But certainly, we all see

the rewards in this life. Yeah, that's the important part. So like he's telling you the truth. And he's not even charging for you. Yeah, he could do like a masterclass on how to be a disgusting pustule on the ass of the media. And he could give you those tips for like hundreds of dollars, just like Hillary Clinton can teach you the secret history of winning. Yeah, dude, dude, a lot of people have taught some bullshit classes just off their name, you know, they get one of those vanity lecturer jobs. He could actually tell you how to get a bag. Yeah, you can't do you cannot deny that he's a bag chaser. Oh my God, yeah. Yeah, I mean, he's he's thoroughly talentless in every other regard. But like

there is no way you can make the case that Euglacius is not like one of the best media social climbers that has ever existed. He's he's willing to to do what it takes like just the number of portfolios he's given to himself over the years. Like foreign policy guy housing expert policy anymore. I'm the I'm the macro econ guy. Yeah. Yeah. Remember one billion now it's a billion billion. That was his strongest work. That was his strongest work when he was like he was like no condom gang. That was awesome. He should go back to that. That was tight as put it put that dream ever more distant. I don't know why though, because it's like, okay, we need we definitely need more people now. We got to get these jobs

filled. It's like you should be wants to work anymore. Yeah, tiny little people were very impressionable. You could get them to work. Well, it's like you should instead of like shaming people for like wearing a mask the wrong way or whatever, you should shame everyone who's using condoms. Get them fired because we need a billion Americans like right now get going. Yeah, get slapping. Yeah, with all okay, like whenever like Jewish people talk about like what are like, what do we do versus what are like grandparents or great grandparents did? You know, we all all of us work for we work. We all we're I'm not supposed to let you in on this. We all worked at we work. That's the type of stuff we do. You

know what our grandparents and great grandparents did? They're like, Oh, he like took a canoe from Russia. And then he like he he found a bunch of rocks and walked to Omaha to start a rock store and became middle class. And that's literally what my great grandparents are my dad. Exactly. Exactly. And like there's like, you know, like out of all the brothers like one of them tried to start a collective dairy farm and upstate new. Yeah. Well, that's like if there are a billion Americans, the only thing left to do is like, okay, you have to go to North Dakota and like start a stock factory. We just all you know, what is a good life? A good life is that you're constantly reliving a three year period of your adult

life, right? You get to redo it. You're constantly you're replaying your favorite game on New Game Plus with new challenges and new NPCs. What why not like have a billion people and obviously can't keep them all in the same place. They have to go to like the vast unincorporated stretches of this country. And you have to just be like, okay, you have to you have to start the arts district of like Nebraska. Like just go and do it. I like the idea about shaming people for using condoms and birth control. So it's like, remember, like, you know, like at the height of COVID, like if anyone betrayed anything on social media, like they were out of the house or traveling or whatever, you could just crawl up their ass.

You know, the thing like your your favorite writer or social media influencer, podcaster, if you know, like you see their Instagram posts or just something that's a little bit more personal, just zero in on the items in their bedroom. Yes, any evidence of condoms, any contraceptives smoke, smoke their ass. Yeah, that shit on blast. Having an IUD should be the same thing as having a swastika carved into your wall. And that's facts. Yeah. It's like, what are you true? We got to keep this thing going. We got to keep it. And the only way we can is to just, just mass breeding. One billion. That was so good. That was awesome. That was tight. I just, I, the thing I like about that is because obviously he's going

for, we need to compete with China, but it's like, okay, by the time we get a billion Americans, how many Chinese are there going to be like five billion? Like we will have, we will not ever be able to catch up unless like part of his deal is, oh yeah, we also nuke China. I forgot that part. Right. We blow out, destroy their like top 10 population centers so that we can catch up. Okay. But you know, China obviously doing a lot of things better than us in most things. One thing. Creating artificial suns. Creating artificial, that was so funny. All those like dumbasses, like it's like, it's just clearly a rock and they're like, China made a new sun and no one's talking about this.

How fucking stupid do you have to be to like see a bunch of people standing around a beach looking at like a bright flash and be like, oh, it's obviously created a new sun. How fucking dumb do you have to be? Like they were like, oh, China created a new sun. And it's just like, it was like, to what purpose, to what end? Yeah. Like, what, like, oh my, like it's amazing. I saw Dan Levy from shits Creek post about it. It's like, I'm, I'm a free speech fundamentalist, but I think actors should not be allowed to touch anything resembling news. He got, dude, he the thing he saw that he was go tweeting was from something called rap news dot TV. And even that's like too much for him. That's

like too stupid. He like is trying to create a new cold war because of rap news dot TV. Like that's too much for him. He cannot handle it. I guess I'm trying to think of what you would do with the artificial sun. One thing you could do unlimited energy source. Yeah. Well, no, but I mean, well, hold on. If you're making, where'd you store it though? You're making another son that you still have to make like the solar panels and stuff. Yeah, fix that. I guess what you could do if you wanted to like increase productivity is have as soon as the original sun sets, you bring up the artificial sun, get rid of the nighttime and have everybody go on Da Vinci sleep where

they're sleeping for 30 minutes every three hours and no like full sleep in that way. That's what she did. Yeah. Allegedly. Okay. No problem. That would drive you insane. Cap. Excuse me. Excuse me. Look at the results. He did a cool naked drawing of a guy with a bunch of arms. Yeah. Yeah. He was the first guy to be brave enough to be like, like everyone in history who had a penis thought it was just a freak mutation and he was the first one to be like, okay, I have this. And then people were like, me too. He thought up a non-functioning helicopter. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. He knew Assassin's Creed. Yeah. Yeah. He was tired.

The entire nation of 1.3 billion Da Vinci's. Oh my God. They would terraform, fuck bars. They would terraform Earth. They would re-terraform Earth with the power of their ingenuity and insight. Honestly, I'm excited now. I hope the China is doing this. But only hope. You know, we're talking about the artificial, but like things that they do better. One thing that we do that I've never seen an American president get praised for, we have equal amounts of men and women. Yeah. They do not. That's true. It's like slightly more women, but it's just like, there's parody has been achieved. Yeah. They have like 300 million extra dudes. Yeah. No, there is a population in China, I think I read this, that like, that is equivalent

to the United States of America that is like single men. 300 million extra dudes. Yeah. That's sausage party. That's tough, man. That's fucking tough. That sucks. That's how they create the new sun. They're just going to walk all of them into it. Yeah. What the fuck? If you know that there's 300 million extra of you, fuck dude. And it's like, it's like I have been trying in my, just in my spare time to invent a surgery or pill that makes you gay just to solve problems in my own life. And I do that. Honestly, that should be high on their list. Yeah. No, that's sort of gay vaccine. Maybe that's it. Global homo. Global homo is real. Global homo is real. They're turning everyone gay with the vaccine

so that they will stop bothering all those four women. That's like, dude, imagine if that was the case. I mean, it solves a lot of problems. Yeah. Well, why do you think I've been trying to make it? And just in my, in my kitchen, but like, that is George Bush did it. Barack Obama did it. Bill Clinton did it every year. They're like, let's make sure we create as many boys as we do girls. They all did. They all worked hard on it. Not leaving any girls up on the top of cliffs. We're not putting any of them in wells. None of this. Well, I mean, it's just like they, you know, creating a good, a good party vibe is essential for any nation state. And you know, like a fucking race show like that.

If you showed up to that party, 300 million Chinese guys playing beer pong. Oh no, that's awesome. I'm sorry. Like, okay, okay. That's awesome. I like, I, you don't have to get pussy at every party you go to, especially if you have the vaccine. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. It's like a, all those guys I saw all the 300 million extra Chinese guys playing beer pong, they're handsome. I'm also working on a thing that gives me a uterus. And maybe they can knock me up and I can create some girls for them. I don't know. I don't know. It's like, dude, what did we say? What did we say at the end of the year? We were like, you can't predict anything in God's world. You've just got to be, you got to put on your

best smile. One smile can change the world. One good attitude can change your day. A good handshake can change your life. You never know what's going to happen. There's so much unexpected stuff. What if that happens? So don't like walk into the party and be like, oh no, there's 300 million extra dudes. Be like, what is God telling me here? Yeah. But I mean, that said, it's like we are ready to breed them. Breed ourselves. Like by M, I mean us. Like we're ready to like just breed 700 million more people. We can do it. We can do it. We got to get, I mean, many glaciers would be a perfect candidate to have a uterus and stuff. I mean, like, I have wide hips for a man. It made me really good at Muay Thai.

And now I think like it could make me good at delivering kids. Yeah, let's do it. Like let's let's get it away to like, you know, if you don't want to have kids, you don't have to because that's bad. You shouldn't impose that on anybody. But now using science, you can make it so that anybody who's like, hey, that'd be cool to be bred and to pop out some kids is incapable of it. Yeah, I'd like to give it a shot and then boom, you can have it. I don't know. Honestly, though, low key, though, this sounds like eugenics to me. Yeah. Yeah, no, this is eugenics. Yeah, damn. A lot of eugenics happen in this. There's so much. Oh, my God. Eugenics. It's weird. Like the vaccine, that's eugenics.

That's absolutely not getting the vaccine. That's eugenics. The Burger King Big Kids Club. That's eugenics. Some kids aren't cool. Yeah, it's true. Weight Watchers, guess what? Eugenics. Yeah. That's like, man, that was everyone's word of the day, huh? God damn. I'm a genius now. Did you see the one about, yeah, like the idea of physical fitness and health overall is eugenics. It's eugenics. Facts. Curves, gyms, like those are basically like little Bergen Bilsons. I heard that the leg press is made out of human skin. It just, I don't know, yeah. Would you like Arbite Mocked Fries with that? But once again, it's like the tip of the eugenics thing. It's all people who don't have kids that are complaining

about this shit. Yeah, it's like you are actually, you know what? By making a decision to not have kids. Guess what? You're doing eugenics. By self-selecting that your own genetic code will not, will end with you. You're doing eugenics. You're doing eugenics to yourself. That's the worst kind of eugenics. I did have a friend who was on this before anyone. Shout out to her in like 2013. She was like, would you have kids one day? And I was like, yeah, probably. And she was like, well, that's eugenics. I wanted to like, I wanted to like, she was like in grad school. I wanted to like call her parents. Like I found heroin on her or something. But like just being like, she's taking too much college. She's like overdosed

on college. She's like, not okay. That's, I mean, people talk about Fent. Fent is obviously a very big deal. We've got, you know, record overdoses now. More people are dying of opioid overdoses than ever right now. Yeah, opiate whack-a-mole. And now, but the college overdoses are also getting out of control. People are really ODing on college and they're able to get it now in bite-sized portions on TikTok and whatnot. And that's just like, hey, first taste is free. Let me do a little decolonialization dance for you. And then the next thing you know, you were just mainlining college. And it's exactly like Fent because it's like, it's the bad college supply is obviously it's getting into like regular college users. Like they're

like, they're already ODing. Like recreational college users are becoming more and more strung out. Yeah, yeah, they're getting bad college. But like also like people who aren't college users, they're using the Fent, the bad college, you know, as just a replacement, like Coke users. Like Marjorie Teller Green, I saw her talk about platforming someone. Yeah. That's like, that's like sad symbolizes someone who like took Coke that had Fent no limit. It's like, no, Marjorie, you got bad college. You're not supposed to know that word. What the fuck? Never say platforming ever again. God. There's too much college out there. Like we have to close. That is the inverse of the base lib, the drill team is that it's weird now, especially

with vaccination stuff, conservatives are starting to talk about bodies and spaces. Love talking about bodies and spaces. Switch them up. That's what we were saying. That's what's that's the only like new exciting thing we can do is like have, yeah, have conservatives do like, yeah, Robin D'Angelo stuff, talk about platforming. And they are like, they are doing to do it. Yeah, they're into it. They everyone like they know they want to do it because it's so inherently self-righteous and just like baby brain. Like it's perfectly suited to their fucking mode of being. And everyone in America, their only thing they care about if you're into politics, if you're a sicko who's into politics, the only thing

you actually care about is like, do you feel bad for me? Yeah. And that's what they were doing anyway. And like, it's perfect for them. And then the Libs can have their own like dog. Yeah, I can't. Yeah. A friend of ours saw a and took picture of it for Instagram a Kelvin decal on the back of someone's car in the California. And he was peeing on the word Republican. Yes, it's happening. The great, the great convergence is happening. We have to go into the lab. What's the liberal frog going to be? We've tried to figure out what the liberal frog should be before. I don't know if we ever settle on it. It's like we're saying earlier, like you like you cannot know that path. You just have to walk it and

like something maybe maybe won't be a frog, but like something will be the equivalent of. So how about I know I can't force it and just like is in God's hands and it's maybe won't be a frog. Maybe they'll have like an ugly drawing of like an anteater and they'll be like, this is what we post when like a conservative dies, you know, like whatever. What if though, if it's got to be a frog, Michigan J frog, because he's in entertainment and like liberals love entertainment. I mean, every American does, but like liberals are they think that everyone good guys. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I think that would be a good liberal frog. If you're a base lib start posting that guy. Yep. Every story of somebody getting

owned like the toddler shoots them with their own gun or they didn't get vaccinated and they're on event later. It's just a little gift of Michigan J frog walking past. Kicks doing the kicks. Yeah. Oh, man. I got to say, like, as far as the bad college epidemic, I was like, sorry. I don't know. I said I didn't have an opinion on like kids being in school and up like, oh, I said, the thing I do have is I could imagine myself having like a high school or college experience like over the last two years. And I went like, it seems horrible. It seems like shit. Like having college, but like you never leave your dorm and you're on your laptop all the time. Like like the worst at like high school, like

probably the worst times of your life, the worst experiences of your life. But then there's like no absolutely no possibility that you can like get drunk, do drugs and get laid. You have to just like have do college, but on your laptop or high school, even worse. Oh, god damn it. Going into debt to take zoom classes. I feel fucking bad for them, man. Like it's really, it's really fucking sad, man. And like just elementary school kids too. Just it looks like there's no good. There's nothing that isn't just awful. Like the options are just shit. Dyer. I mean, like, you know, because like for the most part, like, you know, like it's just like kids, like young kids, because it's not like

like going on two years, like that that could be like a third of your youth. Yeah. The times that you remember of like being young and free, but like you again, like it's just not having any like when you're a kid, like the good part about being a kid is like, you feel like, oh, like I'm not free because like, you know, I have like rules imposed on me by parents or, you know, like, uh, schools, authority, various. You're at the, you're at the whim of like other people's schedules and things like bedtimes or whatever. But really as an adult, you remember it as the freest you ever were because there were no expectations upon you. And there you had no sense of like really responsibilities or anything like you could

just simply exist. And I think that's the horrible thing about like, you know, with COVID, like this sense of like moral weight that's been shifted off onto to young people. Yes. It cannot be good. I feel awful for like college age kids because they very much internalize that like, if they like see their friends at all, they're selfish. If they take down their N95 to like take a sip of water, they're selfish. And they're like, they really did a lot, like everything that was asked of them. And just with no off ramp, it's very sad. Like I've seen, I've seen people talk about like people who aren't ideologically aligned one way or the other, talk about how like everyone their age is just kind of like socially

fucked. Yeah. It's really sad. It's really tragic. Man. They've got TikTok though. So it's okay. Hey, there are so many great like comedian. I have to be racist to be funny. Socialist kids on TikTok. Watch this. Doing a dance and then they like label their potted plant capitalism and their cat is Marx and that's dope. They do a land acknowledgement at Six Flags. Oh man. I've told this idea to a few people that I trust the most. By the way, if you say it on a podcast though, it's like copywriting. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. No, you won't say it. No, no, no. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, right.

Anyone who steals this idea. Just say like, like it's copyright. I said this to Son. He thinks it's a bad idea. I said this to my brother twice. He did what he never did and ignored my text and I had to make an Instagram story for him to acknowledge that he received it and then he was nice about it. Basically, no one thinks this is a good idea. It's a great idea. You are the only guys who think it's a good idea. Thank you. All this, all we need to start this is $300 million. So everyone loves Six Flags. Everyone loves roller coasters. When you talk about roller coasters to adults, they're like, Oh my God, when was the last time I was on a roller coaster? Because it's not part of your adult life.

Because you go to Six Flags. It's like Facebook. It's for people with kids. And yeah, you can, you can get drunk there. You can buy like a cocktail with a twisty straw. But you know, around like, I don't even know when Six Flags closes. I'm going to assume like midnight at the latest. Oh yeah. What do you do though? If you're a young man or maybe a not so young man who's recently been put on, you know, allowed to be on Raya. What do you do if you're, you know, you love fun? You love roller coasters? You love going up and down and in a loop? Well, you can't exactly ask the girls on Raya to go to Six Flags. No, that would be ridiculous because it's for kids. But what if there was a Six Flags

for adults? Yes. Exactly. It's open from 8pm to 4am. All the rides are tasted or painted in like tasteful, you know, sort of refinement culture colors like matte black and shit. But it's like, it's all classics, American Eagle, sick, the Batman ride. That's my favorite six. Hell yeah. But right. But it's like Batman, Batman. That one's really good. Vipers dope. Batman the ride. We're going to have to like redo it because this is geared towards upper middle class people. This is a marriage story, the ride. But it's still the same ride, but it's not Batman anymore. Like, you know, like in Six Flags, it's like all the characters are from the Warner Brothers canon, like you see bugs, you know, fear, whatever. Okay.

Adult Six Flags, all of the characters and like the general vibe and look of it is the high school from Euphoria. Yes. Because there's nothing people in their 30s like more than the high school in Euphoria. Yes. I do love it. Yes. Watching the antics of those high school kids. We all wish we went. We all wish we could have gone to Euphoria High School. It looks really fun. Yeah. And you can experience it at the adult Six Flags.

Yeah. I love the. And like, part of it is that everyone at adult Six Flags is like with your ticket, you were issued Mali. Yes. Yes. Like you are peaking the second you get to the height of American Eagle and like there are safe places to do like whatever your drugs is. Like obviously we're going to sell cocktails and we're not going to sell the things at Six Flags that are like, you know, the Root

and Toot and the Blueberry Flute and these old fashioned classic, you know, Dean Martin kind of cocktail. Yes. In New York City pandemic style to go cocktail containers and you can do that, but you can also do all the drugs. If future talks about doing this drug, you can do it at adult Six Flags, Perks, Mali, Coke, like even the strongest form of weed known as Drow. You can do that. And you can obviously like you can just go there and normally pay normal admissions fees. That's if you're taking a Tinder date. If you're like a young up and comer, you're not

balling yet. If you're a Raya guy or just anyone can buy this, you know, if they want, they can buy an annual pass for, I think, $12,500. Yeah. Pays for self after two visits. Yeah. That's like you get the TSA pre where you can get to the front of, you know, what would... Yeah. You have to be able to have a VIP thing to get to the front of all the lines to all of the rides because then you get that like cool Henry Hill experience every time you

go on the ride. Yes. All the lines are with velvet ropes instead of those just metal stanchions. Yes. And if you have the VIP thing, they let you in. I'm walking to the Six Flags for Adults Copacabana Club through the kitchen and the VIP lot. Barney and Baby Bob. Every time I come here, you do it. Every time. No, there has to be a Barney Club.

Yes. There has to be a Barney Club experience where like every night a Barney's doing a show, he's mingling with the crowd, he's doing one, two buck on my shoe, he's doing a lot of this. Yeah. He's doing... Yeah. Like Barney, we would have... Barney would have a residency at Adult Six Flags. Yeah. Absolutely.

Yeah. Well, there has to be gambling. Is there supposed to be gambling here as well? Absolutely. Okay. So it's like a casino with roller... I mean, this is just Vegas that you're describing. Yeah. But like Vegas, but with like the rides are more the focus. We're rides in like Carnival games and stuff like that. Well, yeah. But like the Carnival games, because this is all like, like you're doing the thing where you shoot the Ducks, but you have a real gun and you're...

It sounds like Vegas. Yeah. No, it does. It does. But it's like... But you concentrate it all into a space and you have way more rides because Vegas only has a couple of rides. Right. Vegas is gambling with rides. This is... Mainly because it's gambling. Yeah. 75 to 80% rides, 20% gambling. Barney's Club is going to be the new 4040 Club. I think this is like, it's such a fucking sick idea. Like, dude, you don't even... I know I talked

about this. Like, this is a place that you take Raya dates or Tinder dates or whatever. But like, you don't even have to... Like, you can just go out with your boys. Yeah. Are you one of the 300 million extra Chinese, man? Free admission for all excess Chinese men. Yeah. Dude, I bet they have this in China, though. They probably have like, they have so much like, sick shit that we don't... Like, I saw that they have like a water park where they

have concerts. Yeah. They probably have that. Like, if... Amazing things are happening in China. They really are. Like, they probably heard this idea and you're like... They have the Wuhan flu, the artificial sun. Yeah. Yeah. All that stuff. All the stuff that actors are warning us about. They probably, if anyone in China heard this idea, they'll be like, what? You mean the thing we've had

since like 2005? Yeah. You mean the roller coaster district in Shanghai? Yeah. But like, we get it. Like, you guys already... You guys definitely have some cool shit like this. We need it, though. We need it here. We need it here in the US. Yeah, man. It's like, yeah. We just... We need more fun stuff to do. And it's sad that one day in your life, you know, you ride your last roller coaster and you don't realize

that it's sad, dude. Dude, I can't... Like, I was probably in high school last summer when I rode a roller coaster. And it was at Six Flags. Yeah. Man, I don't even... High school for me, too. I think I went... It's not been that long, but it's been probably a decade. By the time... I went... The one way I know that it was later than high school is that I went to... It was the Six Flags, but it was the Six Flags in Illinois, the Gurney Mills one. Oh, I loved that one.

Yeah. And there's been an innovation in roller coasters since I was a kid that I didn't know about until I went. And it is they now have these roller coasters where instead of going up to the top of a big hill and then having you fall down, it shoots you out immediately. Yeah. It's like getting in a space shuttle. And you get in and you're pointed up and it just goes, woo! And then you get shot immediately up in the air and then you're like brought back down. That's now what they're doing at roller coasters these days. It's amazing why we should all experience that. I will say the thing I don't like. I think

this is cheating. This is like, dude, we're all against neoliberal atomization. And this is a great example. The ones where you just go up really high in a straight line and go back down. That's not a roller coaster. That's just a pole. That sucks, dude. Bill Clinton started that. Those were not around before NAFTA. I mean, that's literally true. And it does feel like, yeah, you're sullying the great coaster tradition. You're destroying the narrative of the coaster.

Yes! Like that whole click, click, click, click to the top thing. That's part of the process. And you're literally just like, nope. Nope. Pixie sticks for dinner. Fuck you. Immediately shot out. It's like, I'm sorry. Like, let me get ready. Let me get some butterflies for Christ's sake. Yeah. Like this straight up and down is so it's like, what? Do you have like a meeting in 30 minutes? What are you doing a rush for? Yeah. And it takes up a lot less space.

Yeah. So it's like, this is a great deal. And now we're going to tell you that this is an innovation and that it's an improvement. But really, it's just cheaper. I mean, once it just drop you and like simulate being in an elevator accident are like pretty fun. But I don't, you know, you do it one time and you're like, yeah, like that's what it would feel like if I almost died. Yeah. But like, they're not as thrilling as a roller coaster. And crucially, they're not really roller coasters.

No. They're like, you know, like a thrilling one off experience, but you got to have the loop to loops. You got to have the click, click, click, click to the top. Like I said, Batman the ride, like that was like probably like, yeah, I'm so I mean, the funnest two minutes of my life. Yeah. Yes. I remember waiting in line to go on Batman the ride and like all through the zigzag, they had, it was like Gotham City and there's like a rusted out cop car. There was the,

they were playing the soundtrack part and then you got up there and the first ever roller coaster where your fucking legs are just dangling like so awesome. I feel like I'm literally flying above Gotham. Like roller guys who design roller coasters are like the closest thing we have in real life to Willy Wonka. Mm hmm. That's true. That's a hell of a gig.

Those guys are awesome. Yeah. It's like, imagine you go through engineering school, you do so much, you have to do so much to make a roller coaster that doesn't kill people. You have to work so fucking hard. Yeah. You have such an imbombable, their goofiness is so powerful that even after learning all the types of math that have letters in it, they're still like, I want everyone to have a goofy, great, silly time.

Yeah. Yeah. I want to do a fucking roller coaster. Yeah. They're like, do you want to build the artificial sun? No. I want to build the viper. Yeah. Imagine being that whimsical and being able to like actually understand what sin and costs are.

Dude, you are, yeah, you're a God if you're like that. Because it's like, dude, people, I'm at all types of people who understand math, but they're not goofy. What's like, I know, like there's a lot of doom and gloom on the show and in the world. You know what's going to get us out? Goofiness. Goofiness. We have to embrace goofiness. It's the only antidote. Goofy mathematicians and like, you know, like Werner von Braun and he was, he was goofy. Yeah.

The Nazis harnessed goofiness for a lot of evil. Yeah. But we could harness it for good. We should put in the Shamar mor thing where he says, I'm silly at the end of this. I'm silly. I'm silly. I play a lot. He's awesome. What time are we out here? We got plenty. We've got plenty. This one's in the can.

It's in the can, fellas. This one's in the can, fellas. Yeah. Till next time. Till next time. Bye-bye. Um, I'm sorry. I'm just in a silly goofy mood. Um, I'm sorry.

Um, I'm sorry.