Chapo Trap House - 602 - Crypto Bowl (2/14/22)

Episode Date: February 15, 2022

We take our semi-annual look at the Super Bowl through commercials and what they predict about our future. Then it’s back to Joe Brandon as we discuss former Obama aid David Axelrod’s advice to POTUS on how to navigate his upcoming State of the Union address. Tickets for our southern tour still on sale here: chapotraphouse.com/live

Hello friends tour update the beginning of the show if you're hoping to see us in Nashville and Charlotte you're out of luck They're sold out and if you're hoping to see us in what Austin Atlanta Atlanta Oh Atlanta if you're hoping to see us Atlanta a few tickets still available So please if you want to see us in Atlanta act now And then after that you've got March 18th in Dallas, Texas at the Echo Lounge and Music Hall March 22nd Houston, Texas the White Oak Music Hall and March 24th in New Orleans, Louisiana at the Civic Theater tickets still available Please come out. We'd love to see you guys on our tour of the South

Especially in Atlanta if you are biologically related to me because I'd like to just take down your information in case I need a kidney one day When we're in Texas, we promise that each show we will have larger and larger hats Yeah, I am planning on getting fatter than ever in Texas. So yes Uh tickets still available chopo trap house.com slash live the tour is coming up real soon boys real soon We're getting real close to hitting the road. We have not been on the road since 2020 so wait a 2019 actually was a fuck No, we were in 2020. Yeah. Yeah, like a Last time we were on the road we had so much fun that they had to create a virus to stop us

What are they gonna do next? What are you better be here this time? Because there might be a new airborne virus that they make because they're like these boys are going too crazy So yes, please come see us live tickets still available Tour coming up very soon. All right, let's start the show. Greetings friends and happy Valentine's Day 2022 Uh, so everyone out there who has love in their life hold it here. Keep it with you all times true love will never die For those of you who don't have love in your life. Um, stop listening now. Go out and find it Seriously without love life is not much worth living But if you love us, I guess that still counts. So gentlemen coming straight into Valentine's Day off Super Bowl weekend

I would like to apologize at the beginning of today's show for some comments I made during the Dan Beckner episode about Ukraine when I said That global tumor thermonuclear war was imminent and going to happen this weekend Saturday 7 30 p.m. Eastern Standard Time I let my emotions get the better of me. My sources tell me that this will indeed happen this week Wednesday 5 30 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, but I will promise to be more just judicious in the future I'm sorry for nudging coverage in a certain direction, but I was assured by sources within the US government that a Russian invasion and Nuclear counter strike was going to happen. I got carried away, but I thoroughly believe it still will happen

So now that we've got that out of the way, what'd you guys make of the Super Bowl? Did you guys watch? I mean I first of all, I know Chris is devastated right now life long Cincinnati Bengals fans It came so close at the end and the goddamn zebras stole it from them to give it to to Hollywood Matt Stafford and The Los Angeles Rams one of the most the oldest and most iconic franchises in the NFL Yeah, that's just sour grapes. My my Rams deserve to win that game as as the only lifelong LA Rams fan In the country, I gotta say that I was absolutely ecstatic must have been a joy to be in LA last night It was amazing. The the number of

Disinterested Non-responses was breathtaking dozens and dozens of fans over the Los Angeles areas who are in a state of absolute ecstasy Yeah, Silver Lake was just I mean it was like Watts in 92 or something. It was crazy people were overturning Priests is People were lighting lot days on fire A lot of Tesla's would it burst into flames, but it turns out that that was just what they do They're nobody had to do anything to make that happen Well, I don't know about you guys, but I always watch the big game for one reason and that's the commercials So let's begin this episode by giving you a sort of rundown of some of the ads or some of the ads that ran last night

Which I think you know suitable ads that they're they're like a vision of the future They're they sort of they're the pace car for what to expect in the year to come so based on that Um, let's take a look at it slate.com has provided a rundown of in their in their words the best worst and sketchiest Super Bowl commercials of 2022 so let's let's see we go here a ranked among the best

Coming in in the first spot for them first spot for them was the David Chase directed Chevy electric Silverado commercial that essentially recreates the opening credits of the Sopranos, but with Meadow driving an electric Chevy Silverado Into New Jersey and then meeting AJ at the end of it and what I what I think Meeting at the diner where I mean if you if you believe certain interpretations They watch their father be killed in front of their eyes So I like that ad but it would have been I think more would have been a little extra realistic if they had shown

AJ Pulling up on like one of those rented scooters because right, you know because I yes Meadow having her own electric truck Totally makes sense driving from her condo and in Manhattan but I would like to have seen it intercut with like AJ saying goodbye to his four roommates that he still lives with and And taking an electric scooter and then making sure that Meadow paid for lunch So Mella in the adder not I didn't see any of these I'm gonna be honest with you I was just I was tweeting about Eminem the halftime show, but I didn't see I didn't see a fucking second of this stuff I didn't see the ad

it was just AJ and Meadow was it was all yeah, but it was it was Meadow was driving the car and it was you know It was woke up this morning, you know got yourself a gun got a blue moon in your eye and got a Shelby a Chevy electric Silverado sitting under your ass as you cruise through the beautiful garden looks like shit real terrible-looking car like Aztec level miserable looking well I mean like if we view the Super Bowl as a preview of things to come

I mean electric cars a lot of electric car ads and they weren't they weren't Tesla ads either seems like Electric cars are going to be a thing in the future. All right people of you. You're fucked Felix didn't watch the Super Bowl because he was too busy tweeting. Is there a sports ball on? Yeah, no I was doing all that I was like, um, you know Well, why why can't there be a scholastic ball that everyone watches again? There'd be one of those competitions. What is there? Why does it have to be like? Oh, this is one man better at running than the other man. How about just who's a better man? The good the good men projection is supposed to the Super Bowl. Yeah, how about an ethics challenge?

How about they put like a hot married woman in front of two guys and they have to The I don't know this would be pretty hard to do but it's like it's two married women and they're both like oh, I give up pussy to anyone and And the one got like whoever doesn't do it whoever is just like oh, I'm going back to the locker room to jack off He wins hot married women only want sex. They want sex now But if you accede to their wishes you lose the ethics Super Bowl because they are married Okay, next up is an ad for a company called click up I don't remember this ad. I was probably in the kitchen or something

But Slate describes it as click up a project management cloud collaboration thingy Ran its first Super Bowl spot this year And it was the most memorable of a bunch of similar ads from companies whose products are tailored for the needs of the COVID-derived virtual office revolution the commercial was set at the Declaration of Independence Which would have been a much more effective process if the framers had used click up instead of quill pens and parchment paper I did not see this ad I was watching the whole Super Bowl Super Bowl did not see that the author of this piece says I'm a sucker for framer humor though I will say clip click click click up missed a real opportunity to appeal to the

1776 heads in the audience all 12 of us by casting William Daniels to reprise his role as John Adams Mr. Feeney Yes, yes, Daniels is 94 right now, but he's a robust 94 next year guys thing I do like I appreciate the author said I'm a big friend. I'm a big fan of framer humor And any any any framers Constitution or Declaration of Independence based humor somebody puts a powdered wig on you know I'm laughing See a click up. I guess it's just sort of like a Yeah, I don't know. It's just a way to work remotely. I don't know like I said, I don't this doesn't sound

real I think they were this person was like in an poorly ventilated room or something and they got the commercial that they Wanted if they they They fantasized it because that did not happen on my television. Sorry. Okay, next up. We've got The the dr. Evil Austin Powers General Motors electric car ad this one is described as it has recently become a bit of a Super Bowl trend for Advertisers to reunite the cast of beloved movies for spots that function as mini sequels or at least exist in the same universe as the original films Well, these sorts of it. Well, I wonder why that is Why they literally have to just hump the corpse of of previously enjoyed IP

I wonder why that is while these sorts of ads always attract attention a brand can risk alienating viewers if their spot feels Demonstrably crappier than the source material or feels in any way exploitative of the original characters General Motors I am pleased to report did it source material proud with its pitch perfect riff on the Austin Powers films in the commercial Dr. Evil and his team now in charge of GM Resolved to save the world with electric vehicles before destroying it at some later unspecified date The plan makes no sense But then again, neither did any of Dr. Evil's plans in the actual movies. Yeah, baby. It's one of the top ads of the night

Damn, I like it when you can tell that a writer is feeling themselves. Well, they they put something together I Would I would add in the note that you would no longer call him fat bastard. He would just be regular sized American bastard I Mean I'm I was I mean, you know, I'm always nervous when I see beloved film characters Like Dr. Evil paraded out to shill electric cars for a company like General Motors But I simply I must agree with the offer author. They certainly did justice to the original films I mean, it felt lived in it felt real

It felt like an extension of the Austin Powers universe and I hope it will lead to a fourth Austin Powers film That's also a commercial for an electric car Okay, next up God, I don't remember this one either. Okay, green light a new Super Bowl Advertiser this year is a financial technology company that makes debit cards and budgeting apps for children and families finally Children need a budget. That's not a good sign Isn't that just cool? Why would they not need it? Your kids do your kid doesn't do like parents should be in charge of that kind of thing

You know, no one really has time to do that to look after that I mean, I have I have three or four kids. I don't really know They're all doing only fans Only fans and like I can't look after their bank account. So I'm worried about my own life I guess this is about yeah, like teaching your child grind set so that they are prepared for life just running frantically Before penery that's on very good. What I don't remember this either. What was the ad? The ad starring modern family is Ty Burrell was very funny. Oh, yes, I remember I also found it sort of self-serving

It's an it's an advertisement. It's an ad I Find a very I found the ad a little sort of crassly self-serving of the interests of green light the family financial planning app It says Burrell played a spin-thrift version of himself who wastes all of his money on frivolous purchases Such as a Faberge egg a suit of armor and a hot-air balloon with his headshot on it What do you mean? I'm broke. He says at the end of the ad as the onlooker tells his children This is why mom and I use green light to teach you about money fair But also two things parents have taught their children about money for countless generations without green lights help and too Do kids actually need debit cards the real lesson here is if you have a very stupid product to pedal

You should try to sell it to Ty Burrell boom roasted. Oh, I mean like the joke is like Oh, he doesn't have any money But like does he not have any money because why like modern family is but you know That's one of those at this point like Seinfeld level cash cows with set Syndication and everything why the hell is he doing the fucking commercials? I mean, I'm sure he's making like a like I think all of them are making like a million dollars plus That's what do you do with it?

I mean, I said that he doesn't need fucking green light He could buy a fucking triceratops skeleton and suit of armor every day for the rest of his life and he would still be rich I don't wonder about that with the celebs to do that. I understand like at this point. There's no real Stigma on doing ads so it's like why not do it? But at the same time like what what are you doing with the money? I would like to know specifically what like I would like any Celeb who doesn't add to explain Specifically what the what their plan for the money is because I would like I think that'd be interesting to know well

aren't actors like They're they're kind of a psycho in that way like they feel like they always need to be working And I'm sure I'm sure they just like their spendthrift right they probably a lot of them probably like live Paycheck to paycheck like syndication check to syndication check. It's like, you know spend every dollar they make But I'm sure like, you know with like Larry David or something, you know Larry David did that crypto ad I'm sure that when you already have anywhere from like 10 to 500 million dollars and you get a check for a million dollars You're like, oh, well, I can like buy a Bugatti, you know I can just like money eight hundred thousand dollars of this like two million dollar check and like buy a Bugatti

And then pay the taxes and then there will be like not left But you know, I just like to know it's like Specifically what Larry David wants to do with this crypto money I would like to know what what Larry David is imagining. Oh, like Larry David in a Bugatti, for example I would like to see evidence of this or whatever. He's he's doing with it Just a quick note about the detail in this commercial where it says, okay, so it's a tie borrell He buys fabric a eggs and then he goes. What do you mean? I'm broke and then I says This is why mom and I use green light to talk to you about money

I mean like were they in the same family as tie borrell because it's their money, too I mean the family's broke. They're gonna be into the rest of their life. Do they give him an allowance? Is that how it works? Well, it's just that it's just another family who's looking at tie borrell being like, I'm broke My life is ruined So I thought I got tie borrell mixed up with the guy who plays like the the large like gay brother tie borrell kind of looks like a mix of Rob Delaney me and Who's the guy who's the Eternals guy who did steroids?

Kumail Kingo. Yeah, it looks like a combination of me Kumail and Rob Delaney So the most handsome man in the universe. Yeah, no, he looks swagged out. What character did he play in modern family? I've never really seen he's the wacky dad. He's Phil the wacky dad Well, is that like consistent with his character? Is he like the type of guy who would spend all his money and be like, oh, I need Like my kid needs a line of credit because I'm so foolish. Yes. He is the fool of the show, certainly Or maybe he was portraying the actor Nicholas Cage in the ad. Ah, there's a guy who knows how to spend his money Okay, next up. We have lays. This is this was the lays potato chip commercial with Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen

Playing themselves and they're like they're at they're at Seth's wedding and they're recounting to each other like the all the good times they've had together and then I guess like the Like the the turn the twist of the ad is one of the good times. They had together was like Being haunted by some sort of the ring style girl ghost and then like the rug pull at the end of the episode is that Seth Rogen is getting married to the ring goblin Mm-hmm. Yeah, I saw that one. It was fine It just just the knowledge that if that commercial had been made, I guess like a ten years ago That would have been James Franco not Paul Rudd, but he's now been

He's now been disappeared. Well, that's that's something that Joe Biden can do is on me to James Franco That's one of the powers the president has I kind of got over a shot. Yeah, it got overshadowed by January 6 But the Congress passed a law that said the president can like it's like a pardon They can on me to someone a next up is the McDonald's Kanye West ad and it says here McDonald's I missed this one too. It says McDonald's gently satirized the indecision. We all feel when faced with the tyranny of choice That is the modern-day fast food menu So let me get a

The punchy spot cut between a bunch of different customers each of whom when asked for their order responded by mumbling an inarticulate Who hasn't been there? Anyway, I always thought I knew what the commercial was until 20 seconds into it Kanye West showed up for literally three seconds And what appeared to be some sort of tank equally as indecisive as everyone else in the ad I was confused for a bit until I realized that not only do I buy that Kanye West might eat at McDonald's I also buy that he'd take a tank to the drive-throw and that he would then probably clog it up for 20 minutes Refusing to leave until they agreed to sell him an out-of-season shamrock shake Why can't we why can't we just let Kanye cook, you know, why why is everyone always questioning his mental health?

Yeah, I don't really like the editorializing by this writer and I do think we should get them fired whoever this is Yeah, like I mean whether he's in a tank or not Did you see the thing he put on Instagram this weekend where he said I wish I was Osama bin Laden So I could have murked his dad speaking of Firefighter father. I mean, yeah, like I'm sorry if you're not like I Don't I'm not rooting for him here, but I'm rooting against Pete Davidson Like I think every every good person should be I'm rooting for Pete Davidson in this one. Sorry Felix. Why because I mean I just like it's just he's he's found love with a you know, like a newly divorced mother and

You know like he just you know wants to have a have a nice date with her and then he's got this, you know Manic manic pop star I'm saying that he wants to al-Qaeda his whole family and No, well, I mean he could be right about those things Pete Davidson is literally what we're all fighting against Like because it kind of like You know, so this is normal That the type of like bullshit self-awareness. We're all fighting against it unfortunately the thing

the thing that the only thing that fights against that is like the manic BPD pop star who's like, you know Christian now, but it is we have to support Kanye. It's like, you know, it's him or This insufferable insufferable man. Wow, I didn't think this would be the thing that got split the podcast and ended up forever But I guess you'll never be able to predict Kanye she couldn't catch with a Nick Krolls dad on this issue Yeah Next up is Nissan

This one is with Eugene Levy Nissan enlist Eugene Levy for a refreshingly old-fashioned Super Bowl ad premise not on the notion that like inventing a Nissan coin will make you rich But on the simple idea that driving a cool fast car will make you feel like an action hero How quaint I don't know what this ad will do for Nissan sales, but I do know that I would absolutely watch an action movie called Thrilled driver starring a long-haired Levy as a John Wick type whose catchphrase is well caught is well cockadoodle do make it happen Hollywood this guy's standards are too low to be writing about anything. I mean, I I'm sympathetic to them. They are they are trying their best to make it through this article They're trying to it's like trying to get down a hill surely through momentum. I I mean

I don't know if I would like to see a John Wick style action movie starring Eugene Levy But I would like to see a John Wick style action movie of in which the bad guy is Dan Levy and in fact that guy is In fact, in fact, the bad guy is 300 clones of Dan Levy So we could just recreate the red circle club scene but with hundreds of Dan Levy's okay now we're talking Yeah, and the good guy could be China because Dan Levy is an enemy of China because they built a new son Yeah, they have to be stopped No one remembers this because there's like three weeks ago and there's been a million like shitty things that have filled your brain since but Dan Levy posted it was a video of like a rocket launch in China and was like oh great

China's building a new son because of course they are Everyone was like that's a rocket launch like what the fuck are you talking about and he was like sigh I'm having a regular one I would like actually to have there be no more John Wick style action movies of any kind Let me guess how about no more John Wick movies period It was fun for a while and now it's just like everything else Beaten into the ground and there's nothing interesting to be found. I mean my god You want to you want to Eugene Levy? John Wick movie. You think that's gonna be good. They did one with Bob Odenkirk and it sucked

Yeah, you think they're gonna do better with an 80 year old. No, thank you Next up is the planet fitness commercial with Lindsay Lohan and then there's a planters peanuts commercial with Ken Jeong and Joel McHale Like and then there's a throwback Sam's Club commercial Yeah, don't don't really care here Adds okay, I'm gonna add the first year where we have crypto ads Which is a very good sign. It's like when pets calm we had their first superbowl at that one. It's all only Up upward after that it to the moon. There's crypto ads are in this article

I'm getting some but they're at the bottom under the the sketchiest ads These ads were sketch they were sketch as well. They're sketched up. They're sketched out. They were low-key sketched Uh, no, like that. Let's skip a couple of these but here's one. I want to talk about the Sam Adams Boston Dynamics Commercial where it was like their Boston guy character and then he's hanging out with the Boston robotics dogs and like now robotic men that they have and it was like what if what what would happen if your cousin from Boston the Brands Mass Hall pitchman got a bunch of those terrifying Boston Dynamics robots drunk According to the ad this scenario ends with a beer-soaked human robot dance party According to me if this scenario were to play out in real life

The drunk robots would probably decapitate your cousin from Boston. Frankly. I like this scenario a little bit better If I were doing this ad according to me if this scenario were to play out in real life at least one Vietnamese man would be blinded But yeah, the yeah, what if you get a Boston Dynamics A Terminator drunk the probably nothing good would happen. Yeah, I mean, they're not nothing good is happening when they're not drunk Doesn't seem I would tell a woman be careful. Don't apply that peanut butter. This is not a friendly dog Let's skip ahead. So what they deem the the the sketchy ads which were for Like online sports gambling and crypto The first up is Caesar's sports book

I feel like I've seen I feel like every time I turn on the TV. I see one of these ads with um, what's his name? JB smooth from a Kerber enthusiasm and Halle Berry is Cleopatra I mean, this is just part of like the that I don't know I mean like there must have been like legislation passed recently That's just made like opened up the entire country to like yeah. Yeah gambling's legal Gambling is just sports sports gambling is legal They've taken it out of the casino and onto your phone Which you know, I think as long as you gamble responsibly and again

I must I must underscore that gamble responsibly. Yeah, but but yeah Just be good at game betting on sports and the thing is like gamble responsibly But do bet on every game that is played of a certain day, of course, but just pick the winner idiot Okay, next up is coin base It says coin base in exchange for buying and selling crypto currency ran a first quarter ad that followed the grand tech company tradition of Wasting tons of money on an audaciously inscrutable Super Bowl commercials This particular spot raised the bar for screw it ad spending Consistently consisting entirely of a QR code changing colors and bouncing around the screen like a pong ball

Followed by a brief acknowledgement that coin base had produced this deliberately confusing thing Since my sense is that must have much of crypto currencies growth has been largely driven by low information Speculators who might decide to buy some crypto solely because they can't scan the QR code. They saw on the Super Bowl This qualifies as a very effective spot. It was hypnotic. I'll give it that I mean you mentioned this that like all the crypto ads That ran on this year like did have a a very eerie resonance to the 2000 the year 2000 Super Bowl with like the the pets.com socks.com bubble and You know one does get the distinct feeling that the rug pull is coming soon on all this

Yeah, just doesn't seem like like every celebrity now is getting into the crypto space, you know Matt Damon is fucking, you know, he's the pitchman for some crypto company It's like all these celebs are lending their their glamour and and celebrity credibility to You know you the viewer and enticing you to invest in this very Secure and stable financial asset that we should absolutely be it's it's great You guys should all invest please invest everyone needs to invest quickly and not everything's fine It's great things are better than great, but you guys really need to get in on this

We would be really sad if you didn't get in on this great deal and make a lot of money here. Yeah, no It's just I mean any sort of responsible Investment portfolio to secure the financial future of yourself and your family if you're not getting into crypto apes That's what you're at this point But again, like I I have to stress the most important thing is that for you the viewer the listener by crypto Yes, simply by crypto and and like yes, you you will get rich along with Matt Damon along with Larry David and like I don't know like I mean

Gambling like sportsbook gambling Caesar sportsbook very disturbing I do not like the proliferation of online gambling People being encouraged to mortgage their futures by betting on sports sporting events crypto on the other hand I mean you just you could pay off your mortgage if you if you do invest wisely and again This totally safe stable investment asset And then I guess I guess the the granddaddy of them all is the Larry David Crypto the cryptocurrency exchange FTX now All I will say about this commercial is that I thought it was very funny until I realized it was a crypto ad and

It's Larry David throughout history Telling like people like the inventor of the wheel or the light bulb that their idea sucks and then the joke being is that like you know A buffoonish naysayer like that who would look at the invention of electricity as something to be scoffed at Is exactly like people now who claim that crypto is anything but a safe secure investment asset Did they have him like you know around like um? 32 ad this guy is like I'm the son of God and he's like no you're not Conversation with the local the local centurion this guy's raising the rabble Yeah, so that's the choice. I would have made. I don't know if it's the right choice

But it's what I would have done if I was a director absolutely Sustary on this guy. Yeah, if you're if you're against crypto you would have killed Christ Yeah, this would have been Let Larry David approaching punches pilot and punches is like here's your 30 pieces of silver and Larry's like 30. Really? How about 35? Yeah, I mean like yeah, if we're if there are no rules anymore And there's sports gambling and Eminem is on the halftime show and there's crypto like that's you know That's the no rules country. This was all unimaginable, you know 20 years ago back before I was born Then we can just have open anti-semitism in the ads. Why not?

Okay, well, I guess like the less crypto crypto ad where it's like, you know The same people who tell you that crypto is a bad speculation It's a bad investment. They're the same people who stabbed us in the back during World War one and us meaning Germany You know, it's like or like the opposite he's telling people that bad ideas are good ideas so it's like a Superworld commercial with Larry David and Hitler and he's just like Führer Führer, I gotta say invading Russia during the winter your best idea yet And then Susie Iceman could be there as like Eva Braun and she's like you stupid cock sucker

What happened to Napoleon? I don't I don't I don't think we should let him into art school Larry. What the fuck? I think that would be a good ad that's sort of none of that the ads from the Super Bowl Like I said, I'd like they're setting the pace for like, you know, what we're gonna get this year I mean Matt I remember a while ago, you know, like I you said that like super bowl ads of yesteryear Used to be like corporate America would parcel out the memes that you got for that year Yeah, you got like you got four or four means a year that like half of them were in Super Bowl ads And you'd be talking about it at the water cooler for the rest of the year and now and now meet the meme turnover rate It is like in microseconds

But you know at the same time like the Super Bowl ads they and the Super Bowl as a whole You know really do hold a mirror up to American society that kind of like projects where we're going and Based on this latest Super Bowl ads electric cars Electric cars that when you turn them on The engine mines crypto and then blows up Yes, and locks you in locks you in the car and then the battery superheats and then like causes a minor Like thermonuclear explosion. Yeah, and then you will wash it down with a delicious Hard seltzer, which is the crypto of alcoholic beverages

And I guess the last thing to really talk about Regarding the Super Bowl is of course the halftime show Felix. Did you tune in just to watch the halftime show? No, I honestly I didn't even watch that I I was I was finishing the final series that I'm watching for this is us I was watching queer as folk and playing second row but then I saw people were tweeting about Eminem and You know, I was like Eminem has the biggest soul in the entire world, you know, and he's perfect I don't even know what he did. He took out me. Oh damn

Yeah, no Eminem people on Twitter criticize Eminem But he also like does the thing that they tell you you're supposed to do like he's like He's going to Thanksgiving and he's confronting racist relatives He he was married to a racist woman and killed her and put her in the trunk of his car That's why they broke up him and Kim broke up and that's why he like kills his mom in that song Eminem is awesome I think he's like one of the greatest Americans. I think he's like, yeah has one of the biggest souls in the entire world He has an amazing spirit Everything I've heard from people in Michigan. He's a great dad and he's he's perfect and I love Taco Bell in his house

Yeah, he's sick. He's say if you're like against it You don't have to like Eminem's music, but if you're like against Eminem, fuck you Well, it was really the thing was more based around Dr. Dre He's the first person that they show at the halftime show and then there's Snoop and then there's 50 cent hanging upside down like a Dracula You look very full of blood. You look like a blood pinata That that was the only part of the Super Bowl halftime show that I was just like what the fuck Why did 50 cents start out in the club hanging upside down like fucking Batman because it's cool I'm gonna guess. I don't know any other explanation. Yeah, this is Chris from the edit

I'm just putting this in here to clown on these guys for none of them being able to realize that it's because that's from the In the club music video. I mean come on And the only act they had who was like Ben Putting out new music in the last decade was Kendrick Lamar But they never would have done a halftime show around him I guess now maybe after the weekend one nobody liked last year But just seeing all those old-ass dudes come out and just like rap while clearly suffering from arthritis It really reminded me of the when the who

Did the halftime show like oh that was that was really bad and just like but I mean for the younger people who the people who were Cringing at their pathetic boomer Parents who can't let things go who are going crazy for the who? Your time has come as you watch them do California love from 25 years ago Like it's over pack it up Not what your tweet about your Wisconsin relatives watching the halftime show Yes, that is one thing that I really love about the when they do try to Do diversity in the in the halftime show is I just have you know very strong memories of watching

Football super balls with my family members and I just imagine them Whenever one like last year to with the weekend. I just imagine them just arms crossed Stony silence and then like maybe going to the bathroom Not saying anything and then just like trying to trying to just will it to be over and then pretend it never happened Well, you know I well as you tweeted that Catherine's mom let us both know that she was hooting and hollering at your trench and observation of Wisconsin life It's true. She was not hooting and hollering at the suit the halftime at the halftime show No, of course not old people old people now though

They're like most of the people in America who would be like shocked and appalled by everyone who is on the halftime show They're dead. They've passed on they've gone into the land of spirits and ghosts and like you know My mom isn't seeing Eminem and being like oh get him off the TV. He's bad. I mean your mom's cool Yeah lives in Chicago. Yeah, there are other people out this country Yeah, but like hinterlands and they are they're just steaming piles of resentment. Yeah, and I know popular culture I mean even to them like no one I Don't know. I don't think anyone's like shocked and upset by like Snoop Dogg anymore. No, I Didn't say they were shocked. I'm saying they just were pissed and like the surly about it wishing that it was yeah

Pete Frampton I mean who does you know who what's what's worse killing someone in self-defense like Snoop Dogg did or You know what doing looking up certain things on your computer. It was research research. Yeah I mean really that's Pete Townsend not Pete Frampton. I meant We were talking about the who they would love to see Peter Frampton too out there. Are you googling what I'm googling right now? I mean, it's just like I mean the only the only the only person who was like Pretended to be offended by the halftime show was fucking Charlie Kurg who described it as Sexual anarchy that was very funny that pissed me off because that's just like he wanted

People to quote tweet him. He wanted people to quote tweet him He used the phrase sexual anarchy so he could beat people into the most Vomit-inducing thirst traps of all time. Yeah, the worst black flag anarchist thirst traps ever Just like yeah, I got a gross Kropot can gut hanging over No one wants to see that that out of here. He knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing He's like, oh, they're gonna. Oh, they're gonna reshow me now He wanted he wanted people to propose the grossest pictures ever like oh, this is sexual anarchy Which is what one other thread from the Super Bowl halftime show that I'd like to share here

This was clocked on Twitter. This is this is an exchange in the replies to the New York Post Covering a Snoop Dogg smokes weed right before starts that in Super Bowl to any 20 halftime show, okay? Yeah, that's what Snoop does. It's legal, but more interesting is the reply from Someone who says and no mention of the tracksuit Ukrainian colors and traditional patterns not sure what he's smoking, but he's got my respect for his peaceful sign of solidarity To which someone replied those are the LA Rams Original poster says true, but coincidentally they're also Ukrainian colors as for the embroidery Or they are the LA Rams big on that too because traditionally Ukrainians love it

Someone it follows up Snoop is a Crip one of the most recognizable gangs in the world That's the embroidery and then someone says they like the culture, but don't understand the culture hashtag culture vultures to which the original poster replies understand it But the coincidence of the colors and patterns had a wider far-reaching positive message beyond the Crip realm That's why Putin decided not to invade It's not that everyone freaked out Hysterically it's because he was on the verge of doing it and he saw Snoop and he's like oh nope. There's too much solidarity with Ukraine In the United States. We can't risk it beyond the Crip realm

That's a film. I'm working on right now. Oh, man. He's gonna do it a crypto ad where he like does a crypto walk. Oh, yeah, that's our That's our front to back Super Bowl coverage. All right, okay, so I'm moving on to the Super Bowl. I thought we might check in on Brandon. Let's go Let's go. Let's have some Brandon analysis His State of the Union is coming up and I thought he would check in on a New York Times op-ed by David Axelrod who has taken to the page of the New York Times to give President Brandon a little a few home truths and some advice about what to do for his State of the Union This is sort of like team Obama is getting a little bit

I don't know. How's I put it? They're getting a little bit frustrated with the with the Brandon regime and This is this is I think is the opening salvo in their coming color revolution against the Brandon regime So here is David Axelrod opinion. Mr. President. It's time for a little humility and I got to say Right off the bat here humility. That's the last thing Brandon needs to project to the country He needs to prove he needs to be Ego braggadocio Stunten that is the message that that real Americans need and want to hear from president Brandon right now

You know, I mean, it's very weird to say that he's he's what he's too cocky or whatever I mean, isn't his entire thing. Just like I'm not even confident enough. I should have said that. Oh, jeez Soup. Oh, I shouldn't said that. Yeah, he just gives up halfway through. I'm excuse me. Sorry, but the only time He's confident is when a hefty gentleman Chose even yeah, when it's specific type of fat guy like a classic fat guy that he recognizes like the big gun Then he goes cyan when he sees a fat. Yeah, not when when a modern fat guy like Trump Who's yeah, like a Fred and all these little people who got fat after NATO? He's like, oh

You can interrupt him 78 times in a row over three hours if you're fat in that way and after Probably did a hundredth time. He'll go would you quit? Yeah, but man I guess I'll frame this op-ed with a little bit of a bit of industry gossip that Chris shared with me And by industry gossip, I mean the left podcast's reddit. I don't read this Chris Chris scans it or I don't know maybe Chris said it to me. I'm not going to myself. I need to be clear I do not I will never ever read left podcast reddit. What can I say? I got to keep up with industry news This is like reading the trades for me. This says Here is what a dem contributor and media tech investor told me last week the lib of podcaster community

Including the pod save John's David Alxerad and a bunch of other lib podcast hosts and producers are Extremely angry at the White House press office and Ron Klain because none of them can get Biden booked They are all trying to help the administration keep the dem base excited And they have been openly promising to toss Joe the softest of softballs, but the White House keeps putting them off I'll just say this if if if this is true and the pod John's and David Alxerad are like look We got to keep the dem base excited. We got to get some juice to the midterms like Joe Come on like like just we need we need to get you just 40 minute interview If they think that they are doing their cause any favor by putting Joe Biden in it in any situation

Where he has to talk even to the softest the softest interviewer imaginable where he has to talk for 40 minutes essentially without a safety net You'd probably fuck up the question who is the president right now like the shit they ask you after you get a concussion Joe Biden has been Joe Biden has been booked on the draw o'clock podcast Okay, so this is this is David Axelrod's. Okay. Sorry. Just one more thing Uh, David Axelrod counseling humility to Joe Biden coming off of being like Obama's number one advisor Obama like the least humble man on the planet the guy who was chosen to spend it the guy who has chosen to spend his His his his sort of ex presidency

Just being like hey everybody. I'm friends with Bruce Springsteen like we're actually best friends We hang out all the time. He calls me. We have dinners together. Oh bungler has written like 78 Autobiographies. Okay, so here's here's David Axelrod Right now the White House is gearing up for the president's first state of the union address His speechwriters are turning out drafts gathering guidance from strategists and senior aides and contending with fervent pleas from every agency of the federal government For a paragraph in the speech even a sentence about their good works The speech will command the largest television audience that the president is likely to enjoy this year And the temptation will be as it always is to herald his achievements and declare that we have navigated the storm

But mr. President proceed with caution Talk about the things you and Congress have done to help meet the challenges Americans are facing for sure Lay out your goals for the future. Absolutely offer realistic hope for better days ahead. We desperately need it But recognize that we are still in the grips of a national trauma Polls show that the vast majority of the vast majority of Americans believe we are on the wrong track And people will have little patience for lavish claims of progress that defy their lived experiences So, uh, David Axelrod experiences David you're 75 years old stop it. You do not stop it. You don't have to say that don't do that

It's like okay, so he says like he says okay. Yeah Um, you know lay out your goals provide hope for the future, you know talk about the progress made But you know like don't tell Americans that life is good or getting better I mean like he's setting Joe Biden up to fail here because what's really going on is just like they're like you have to be humble Americans don't want to hear about all the good you've done or how things are getting better because they don't feel like it is getting better What's really going on here is he has no fucking achievements to tout. He's got nothing He's you guys has absolutely nothing that would excite anyone or that he can point to to be like hey look I did that Thanks for voting for me. It's gonna get better. So he has to be like, yeah

Where the fuck was this during the guy you were working for? Where was it? Where was this when you were telling people how great? Obamacare was for them this thing that they fucking hated doing that now if you look if you look at the price of premiums It's like you may as well never done it. It was just a fucking giveaway through insurance Where was this when Obama was spending all of 2016 pushing TPP? This is like when it's finally not you. That's when you notice things aren't getting better for people Felix I mean I think the context is Obama he was not president in the midst of a national trauma You know so people are traumatized right now, which is why you can't tout

You can't tell the I don't know the child tax credit that you didn't get past Or every other thing you've reneged on. Yeah people's lived experience right now is trauma and Joe Brandon He needs to he needs to acknowledge that it's really interesting how it's racist to say this when after Obama's presidency But when it's not you when it's not your responsibility, this is fine to say Axelrod continues even if we are objectively in a stronger position than we were a year ago I mean not in terms of the number of people that are dying of COVID But it's just in terms of the types of people that are dying of COVID I mean that's what's left unsaid here

We are at a better position than we were a year ago closer to the end of this ordeal than the beginning Americans are not celebrating Millions have lost loved ones many continue to struggle with the effects of the virus Kids lost valuable time in the classroom and parents have struggled to cope health care workers are in crisis And we have all felt the profound cost of our relative isolation away from family and friends offices and colleagues And people really felt there are they really feeling the profound effect of their separation from their office I mean, I know zoom calls are annoying, but I mean, I don't know about they're having sweet green withdrawal I mean think about how deeply lonely Americans are. Yeah, so I mean I guess the office is I mean you do see people

Yeah, for some people that's the only fucking that's true have Unfortunately unsurprisingly Incidents of suicide drug overdose deaths and violence in our homes and on the streets have grown dramatically You were playing opium whack-a-mole when you were in office You were having your response to overdoses was to have the DEA like oh, well, I guess we should ban this specific drug Oh, we should do the the the fentanyl overdoses that we're seeing now from bath to bed. No, that's all you That's all you. That's all what your DEA did. What the fuck are you talking about? This is a frustrations with masks mandates and shifting rules have deepened our political divides

Jobs have come roaring back raising wages But those wage increases have been eaten up by inflation the likes of which we have not seen in four decades And all the while the rich have gotten richer And once again unlike the eight years you were in the White House and which But hey, you know and inflation was down inflation did not go up under Obama Yeah, no, this would be frustrating enough if this was just a guy who has been writing articles this whole time That's true. Yeah from from David's perspective an ideological standpoint But from the the Obama guy from Obama's the first term Obama's like Carl Rove saying this what?

I get what were you doing? Where did you not notice any of this the state of the union is stressed to claim otherwise to highlight the progress? We have made without fully acknowledging without fully acknowledging the hard road We have traveled and the distance we need to go would seem off-key and out of touch You simply cannot jawbone Americans into believing that things are better than they feel I just like it's once again. It's like to highlight the progress we've made like okay Like even if you thought it's a bad idea for Biden to highlight the progress we've all made What would he do to fucking like to what like to fill out the hour or so of that state of the union dress?

Talk about all the wonderful progress America's made. I think you should whittle. I think that would be charming That's like old man behavior that people like reminds people maybe like their their their nice grandpa because I mean like he Like he's trying to find a way to like like deal with this problem of like according to him Like we've made all this progress, but Americans still feel stressed and upset and like their life is slipping away from them You know, but it's like like what accounts for that gap I mean surely all this progress we've made like, you know, why don't people feel better? Why like why don't people why don't people are aware that like, you know, the end is just because I mean With the premise of this article, I guess it's because Brandon hasn't been humble enough

Have we gotten yet to like the actual argument like what he wants Brandon to do yet? Well, let's continue Let's let's see. Let's see what I have to do specifically at a news conference on the eve of his first anniversary in office President Biden tried he energetically he energetically He energetically one way to look at it one way to interpret events wrong Citation needed on that one. He energetically sold a litany of achievements record job growth a massive and complex vaccine mobilization a historic rescue act and landmark infrastructure bill what Okay, they'll they'll a landmark infrastructure build forged with bipartisan support

God, I mean like if that is really what he's got to I mean, it's like if that's the highlight in his state of the Union address We did it. We passed the bipartisan infrastructure infrastructure bill folks the few 25 fewer bridges will collapse next year Now we can't we can't get skates in there's not going to be any bridges collapse because let's be realistic But but your your likelihood that you're going to be on a bridge when it collapses is going to go down several percentage points Did you see that like when when Brandon traveled to Pittsburgh to to the loud infrastructure bill immediately

A bridge in Pittsburgh collapsed the day of he got immediately And and as people have noticed it was a bridge in which like the foundations had completely rusted out for years Like one of the one of the structural beams was literally like Unconnected the foundation. Yeah, they had like some fucking chains to keep it up Uh Pittsburgh more bridges than any other city in the world. We love they're all gonna be fine Brandon's gonna fix them. Um, I says I he did acknowledge the trials. This country is endured But only sparingly he got the emphasis on proportions wrong Spending more time pitching his successes and touting progress than he did recognizing the grinding concerns that have soured the mood of the country

So wait a minute. So he should say yeah, everything sucks and I have no way of fixing it I mean, I would appreciate that but I don't really know if that's politically savvy I mean, I mean, I say maybe axelrod is right Maybe that would be more politically savvy than trying to sell people this load of shit that like yeah, you know Oh, uh with our infrastructure is fixed max our infrastructure is fixed and you know, like, uh, you know help is coming Everything everything's good. No if he just came out like shambled out there and was just like Because we haven't done much can't do anything. Uh, none of these problems I'm no idea how to fix them only gonna get worse. Bye everybody

Uh, it goes here We learned that lesson in the obama white house at the height of the great recession And even when it was technically and demonstrably over the trauma from that catastrophe ran so deep that gaudy claims of progress Met with an angry backlash from americans still grappling economically and emotionally with its effects We learned to pitch progress delicately and always have the focus on the continuing struggles of the middle class As they tried to recover their financial footing from the crash and decades of shifting for how did that go? How did that delicate pitch go? Is that are we are we say they got reelected? Yeah, no, he got reelected. Let's say we've office. It's not their problem anymore

No, that's the only thing that matters works for everybody You kick the can down the road until you have vested your options And then it's somebody else's problem. I am really impressed that a man of david's age can Exhibit the flexibility required to suck his own cock in this way incredible work, dave Rhetorically and substantively and substantively barack obama made the cause of those americans His focus and set up a deliberate contrast between himself and the republicans that helped him win a second term in 2012 And then they solved all those problems

um, yeah, even Even if the omicron wave has greatly receded by the time mr. Biden speaks Which may be what the white house was hoping for when his address to congress was delayed until march 1st The lingering effects of the pandemic still will be with us the nation likely will still be in a funk And its people will want to hear their president recognize why We're we're in a funk gang gotta get out of this funk We're we're we're we're not parliament funk it out. We don't want the funk It is not that americans are yearning for a legubrious speech freighted with lamentations about our damaged national spirit without a sense of direction or hope

I mean I sounds like that's what americans do want because if you know if you're blowing don't don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining Just just piss in my mouth and tell me to say thank you I can't wait to vote for you You like tout the achievements, but not too much acknowledge how things are shitty But uh imply that there's a hope even though everyone knows there isn't like what the hell is he asking? I feel so bad for poor brandon right now Yeah, well what what david's doing is while he's bending over to suck his own cock He's also taking his hands and covering his own ass

It's it's like oh, uh, why doesn't he do what we did which is like display humility and address the real problems that americans are facing but all you know also, um You know tout your achievements, but not too much You know like we did Like like as you can see with our incredible success when we got it reelected don't ask us about anything else that happened But uh Also, yeah display display humility like we always do. Yeah, exactly That's how all boils down to like whatever this

Impossible combination of things you're asking of him. What would that look like in practice the obama administration? Yeah, exactly administration in history. Why they got reelected. What else you want from the only thing that matters There's don't ask about midterms don't ask about the presidential election immediately after We got reelected. It's the only fucking thing that matters I I mean, I honestly I think if joe brandon ran again, he would get reelected He would fulfill Fulfill the conditions of success that david here is is facing and I think by and large will have the Exactly midterm results that obangler did maybe even slightly better. I don't know

Amid an energy crisis that triggered sprawling gas lines in 1979 President jimmy carter gave a remarkably introspective televised address in which he discussed the crisis of confidence that had gripped the nation and called For a sacrifice to change our energy fusion. Okay. He's he's about to say he's about to say like the malaise speech was a fuck up But that's what you're asking him to do You want him to do like your your advice to joe brandon is do the malaise speech but don't have people get mad at you Okay, great. I can see you can see why you make the fucking big bucks. Holy shit. It became known as the malaise speech Though mr. Carter never actually used that word And while it briefly lifted his standing his stark address coupled with the firing of several

Cabinet members a few days later Ultimately deep in the political crisis he was facing. There is a balance to be struck So, I mean just do the good just do a good job. Oh my god. Is this the advice he was giving obama now? I somehow feel bad for obama. Okay, so you're you're waiting is what you're gonna want to do sir is You're gonna want to do a combination of the malaise speech But without the part where people get mad at you you're gonna want to take a little bit of that And then you're gonna want to take the speech from independence day And then you're gonna want to take you're gonna want to take read my lips no new taxes

But there won't be new taxes and then you're gonna want to take you're gonna want to take a little bit of what reagan did And then you're gonna you're gonna mix it all together with fear itself Um, and just take out the parts of any of those that people didn't like and you should be good This uh, this balance that he wants to be struck your like his advice to uh, joe brandon here is similar to my advice Um, uh for anyone who's uh gambling on sporting events. Just pick winners. Yeah Yeah, exactly. You have a gambling problem. It's because you are not doing a good job of gambling You're bad at gambling. Your problem is that you're you don't know how to pick winners You're betting on the losing teams. You don't know how to you know how to uh, you don't know how to do the overunder

You don't know about the spread. Just be better at gambling and you'll always make money Yeah problem solved be better at presidenting and communicating about president if you're having trouble with crypto Buy low and sell high Yeah, you were doing the opposite you fucking moron wrong with you All right, so so here's the balance What americans want to hear is a genuine understanding of what we have been through Together and a clear path forward less about mr. Biden's accomplishments than about the heroic unsung sacrifices That so many have made to see their families and communities through

I love it's like less about mr. Biden's accomplishments, which don't exist Yeah, and more about the accomplishments of the heroic unsung heroes of america Who have you know lost their jobs or family members over the last few years so he's basically saying take the part of the The classic component of every state of the union address where the the president tells a story about some Everyday hero and then they cut to them in the balcony and everybody claps. Just do that for the whole speech Just do the entire thing as shout outs. Yeah Uh, I want to I want to hear from those kindergarten teachers. I want to hear from those nurses I want to hear from the astronaut that was at the international space station for the last two years

And just got covet as soon as he got back But he's getting he's getting better and you know, we've got the vaccine to him too um, okay says here Let's see here. Um, I always say uh, they they will want to hear less about his transformative legislation than the specific practical steps mr. Biden has taken and is recommending to help reduce inflation Curb violent crime and of course effectively confront any future waves of the virus They want it less to be about him than us I like the idea that like they okay like they don't want to hear about all of his transformative legislation

This implies that there is transformative legislation for him to talk to america about yeah He's arguing that like no, he's doing a great job. They're doing all this good stuff, but everyone still feels bad I guess because they're dumb Uh, and you need not you can't uh alienate them by acting too cocky about your real accomplishments It should be less about him than us This should come naturally to the president from the beginning of his long political career Mr. Biden's great strength has been his preternatural ability empathy Born of his personal tragedies and his ability to speak in authentic resident ways about the everyday challenges facing people in working class communities

Like scranton pennsylvania where he was born and partly raised Middle-class joe is a nickname he earned over the years a reflection of his values and sensibilities Many national politicians speak the language of washington mr. Biden at his best speaks american Now he needs to find that voice by telling the story of the ordeal so many americans have shared Honoring their resilience and painting a credible realistic picture of how we can all reclaim control of our lives I think that what he should do is instead because so yeah talking about regular people, but like You can't be talking, you know This nurse she spent, you know, she did 48 straight hours in a covet unit with no backup

You can't keep telling those stories people are gonna start being like wow everything's pretty fucked up I think he should just get a bunch of uh successful Uh twitch streamers and influencers up there and just talk about how they were able to to grind their way to uh affiliate deals Yeah, and that gives Yeah, or get get armenians who uh are able to buy new bmw's because of crypto I want to I want to talk about he's in the audience tonight The son of turkish immigrants who he took took a little a little twitch stream a little playing video games He's bought a house and a car now mac that's that's an american dream. Hasan stand up. Yep. Hasan. Yeah, I mean

Look at this guy. Look at that. Look at this guys. I hit some guy. Look at this mac over here I mean, okay, if he showed his son instead of like, you know, like the usual thing of like Oh, this cop adopted like a baby who was uh, his mom was a fentanyl patch and his dad was a veteran Uh, uh, they they were like, here's look how big he is. Look at this big tall swaggy guy Everyone would be happy That's what trump wanted to always do but his stupid like steven miller was like, oh, show this show this cop who stole a baby Like that No, no, no trump wanted to have like a quarterbacks, you know, he's like

Tom Brady stand up. Look how handsome he is. Well, it's just like uh, get get some hey, Joe burrow Joe burrow you lost a super bowl, but you're you're you're the most goaded white boy in america right now. Stand up Let's give him a round of applause. There should be a focus on like, you know, white boys with swag Joe burrow Joe burrow, uh, jack harlow and kaleb I mean once again giving people hope let's listen here mac. You might you might be out there thinking I'm just I'm just another white boy. How am I supposed to make it in this this new this new world? I'm telling you you you can get swag Look look at these young men. They're going with the sauce. I want to talk about about little boy

Little boy little boy growing up. He said they said they said look, you'll never be a wide receiver You're white cooper cup is now a super bowl champion. Stand up cooper I think that would be beautiful. Yeah. No, he needs to focus on on swagged out white boys Yeah, I think we saw the only way to get back his his base. I mean that that's speaking to the middle class That's like we've been through trauma together, but there is hope there is hope If you study hard enough if you study swag hard enough, you can be a goaded crazy-ass white boy. Yeah, so there we go Uh, congratulations to the Los Angeles Rams and the Cincinnati Bengals, you know, I mean Football the big game. We love it. I think they're both champions

Joe burrow big game burrow. You're the you're the new Tom Brady, sir I salute you and the great city of Cincinnati So, uh, that's it for today's show. Um, happy valentine's day to everyone and especially to Catherine Krieger Love you. Yeah to my future valentines You're out there Next year we're going to be together And I will I'll I'll put a little fella. I'll put a little friend frog inside of you. We're gonna have a little friend A year and nine months from now

What you don't you don't like that You don't want to like a little friend to pop out my little triplet friends my little frogs my triplet frogs They're in my friend brides. Actually, you know, we were talking about at the beginning of the show, uh, Julia Fox Single now she adds true. She's out there. Julia Fox, Felix Julia Fox And then and then Kanye could have another manic episode where he does like 50 instagram posts about how like Felix has aides And he's like never gonna meet you. Yeah, but I'm I'm his match because he'll be like, you know, with p david city p david It's like, no, I don't have aids or I need the higher bodyguards, but Kanye's like you have aids I'm like, yeah, I have phallids

pulls clothes He's never run it to avoid like me and like Julia Fox. We already know she loves soulful Swaggy artists from Chicago who are jammin eyes. Well, what about What about one who would be nice to you like me? One who you could watch them play video you can watch me play video games. I um, You know, I have a guest bedroom for nights that you don't want to sleep with me. Um I know that there's been a lot of talk about me not having a couch. We'll have two of them now I order I order food

When you could ask any woman I've ever been with I always order food for both of us He's been ordering food Julia Fox if you're listening I am shipping you and Felix Biedermann so hard right now But mainly because I want to see Kanye on his instagram story post to feeler picture of Felix that says look at this game Motherfucker his dad looks like Saddam Hussein and his dad Well, I think I think Kanye would meet his match with me I don't think there's anything he could say to me that I haven't already said about myself

You know, it's all talk about M&M. That'd be like eight mile. I do have AIDS. My dad is fucking dead. I I have fail I'm fail. I'm gay my dick small I'm a fucking bomb. I am best friends with my mom. I think yeah, no she's out there Uh my valentine whether it's Julia Fox or another woman. I think next year Uh, we'll both be together and yeah, you'll have my little friends in your room Happy valentine's day everybody. Bye. Bye. Say folks. Love you Oh