Chapo Trap House - 610 - Live at SXSW: Pod Tank (3/15/22)

Episode Date: March 15, 2022

Our live show from the South by Southwest festival in Austin, TX.

Ladies and gentlemen, Patreon and South by Southwest are proud to introduce the original podgerpreneurs and thinkfluencers in the digital audio space, the show with the Sigma Hustle grindset to grow to over 37,000 paying subscribers and another 20,000 whining reddit pirates. Trailblazers, incentivizing social media presence with RSS-distributed programming through sometimes well-produced DIY indie media sleaze, the shingies of podcasting, the original kings of content, please activate your prins and put your hands together for Chapeau Trap House! Austin, Texas, South by Southwest, what's going on? Let's fucking go! So, I want to thank you South by Southwest and Patreon for having us here today. Alright,

here we go. So, it's my first time in Austin. First time in Austin. And I got to say, you came in late last night and we were at the airport and as soon as I noticed that the baggage claim, there was a number of novelty size electric guitars. I thought to myself, this city's pretty weird. This city's a little too fucking weird for my taste. Yeah, I was like, you know what, I hope there's some sort of program that people are initiating to reduce the weirdness. Because I'm uncomfortable, just in the airport. I am doing Sherman's March to Normalcy here. By the time I'm gone, no stone will be left un-weirded. Every fusion taco truck will be turned into a staples. If Austin loses its weirdness, it really is

sort of like the burning of the library of Alexandria, but for the 21st century, if you lose the weirdness, we lose something a little special here. But we're pretty normal guys, so I feel a little bit out of place here in Austin, but it's great to be here at South by Southwest, the little indie film festival that could. Movies, music, tech, brands, these are the core values that have made Chop O'Trap House the phenomenon that it is, and we're thrilled to be here. I was also, Austin, you guys are like sort of the podcast capital of America now. Rogan moved to Austin, and I know, we're not nearly as, okay, all right, we're not nearly as big

as Joe Rogan is, but like, come on, city of Austin, what do you got for us? What do you got for us? What sort of tax breaks and inducements can you have for us to move here, to move the show to Austin? What condo that looks like an erector set can we all live in for free? It is my dream to be moved here by tax incentives, land grants, and live in a penthouse in one of these buildings that was constructed in 2015, and rip a 99.8% CBD vape right as the balcony falls off into the street. So we were walking down Sixth Street on the way over here, and it got a little taste of

South by Southwest, including the NFT house, which we were not allowed access to. Yeah, it's like, what the hell? Okay, actually, here in Austin, is anyone here familiar with the legendary Texas comedian Bill Hicks, because some Bill Hicks fans, good, I'm going to borrow a joke from him for South by Southwest, okay, by a show of hands in the audience here today. Does anyone work in the fields of crypto or NFT show of hands anyone? Okay, well, one way back, okay, well, please kill yourself. By rope, by bridge, by knife, by gun, and your wretched life before it's too late.

Stop poisoning our culture with your demonic influence. I mean, obviously, nobody nobody is here today is going to heaven. I mean, you know, we're all going to hell, but like the NFT crypto people are going to like extra hell. I kind of, this is a little sour grapes. We were not let into the NFT house. There was like a very NFT enthusiastic cop there. Yeah, he was he was like looking for tips and tricks. Yeah, no, like I got to put my pension somewhere. Yeah, what ape is right for me? Is he his car is going to blow up like in die hard. And they'll be like, Oh, his ape was one day from maturing. But yeah, no, so we they were like, he'll be like, Hey guys, come back tomorrow.

You can pre schedule and it's like, we have to walk around another day with this fucking bullshit fiat money. So yeah, we're walking around walking around six three. I don't know if you guys. I was today earlier. So the the plane that was some buzzing by. Yeah, I had a banner that read surrender Doris. Thank you. A. G. Paxton for protecting Texas Children. Certainly one way to look at it. Okay. Okay. Second question. Second question. Is anyone here? Is any of the brands that you work for are associated? Do you have any partnerships with Ukrainian nationalist militias? Because I've heard Stinger missiles are great for surface to air smiles. And as long as we're talking about Attorney General Ken Paxton

protecting Texas protecting Texas Children. Here's the thing. There's this demonic evil right now. This idea that like, you know, anyone here in this state who would seek to educate children about sex or affirm their gender or whatever is doing grooming, right? And you know, like being on the internet as long as I have anyone who is obsessed with other people grooming kids is a pedophile. Yeah. But what I realized about Texas here and A. G. Ken Paxton and Governor Greg Abbott is that like this idea this obsession that liberals are grooming children is really like grooming is like that's that's big government liberal regulation of child abuse. Because here in Texas, you can just I don't know,

steal them from one of the many poorly run child concentration camps in this state, including one of particularly called the Refuge Ranch, which Ken Paxton has just just now announced that he is going to look into because they were literally doing child sex trafficking. Yeah. They were taking together the victims of child sex trafficking and then and then trafficking them from there. It really does show you that, you know, what they hate about grooming is just the amount of labor involved. It's like grooming, like grooming, which they hate, it's like, you know, cooking dinner at home. And then what they prefer is just like, oh, fuck it, I'm going to just Uber eats it. And then they just get they get the

child directly. And then they just they're mad that anybody is out there, like, actually, you know, it's not any good unless you really put the work in. And they're like, you know what, fuck you. Yeah, they found a way to do the Yellow King cult from True Detective, but without the sense of family or community. Thank you, apps. So yeah, Refuge Ranch, want to look into that one? It's, you know, this is what happens when you run when you turn over all state services to essentially evangelical Christian mafios. They do a really good job of protecting children. Because I know the state of Texas right now, you guys, everyone so obsessed with the fucking protecting children. But look at the people at the state house

down the street, they're doing a bang up fucking job of it here. And you know what, like, this is my first time in Texas, I don't want to come here from New York State and pretend like, well, from New York and California, we're from states that respect human life. Because that's a hard case to make, at least over the last couple years, especially. Yeah. But we were talking about this last night, but like the thing is like, there's a special level of there's like a new level of like cruelty and fucking Satanism here in the state of Texas. And the answer is, it's like, if you live in one of those big blue states, what essentially you get in return for the state taxes you pay is a political party

in charge of the apparatus of state government that pretends that they care about human life, and that they're invested in a political process for, you know, the betterment of mankind, protecting gay people, trans people, immigrants, things are, you know, like, provided the homeless providing health care. But really what it is is the maintenance of an insane and horrifying police state that is utilized against anyone who doesn't pay federal income tax. Yeah. Yeah, you get you get all the lifestyle restrictions of an EU country, but without any of the social services. But sometimes your governor might go on TV and be like, are you a lesbian? Me too. And I'm Jewish and I'm a woman at like the the the brilliant like innovation at disruption,

if you will, of the of these new red megalopolises like Florida and Texas is they looked at that model and said, hey, we can disrupt the hell out of this. What if we created a new paradigm where we could say to high net worth individuals, hey, you can come here. And as long as what you like doing is what we like doing, you can just be God on earth. You can just you don't have to like pretend you live in a society. You can live in a fantasy utopia where there's literally no law, like you live on the island from the most dangerous game. And of course, it's still a horrible police state just like across the membrane of of, you know, preference and identity and net worth. But you don't see that shit ever. And that's a fucking that's

a great value add for a lot of people when the alternative is the exact same nightmare hellscape. But you have to feel bad about it. Why exactly when nothing is going to get better. You know, like, you know, here in Texas, it seems like it's gotten a lot worse recently. But for like, you know, big city liberals from New York and California, they pay state income tax, and then they pay a psychic tax of pretending they care about all of the horrible problems that they're the cause of. And Texas is over here. But here in Texas, tax free. Yeah, enjoy yourself. Wonderful. Beautiful day out. If you like doing it, as long as

what you like doing is within a narrow parameter of profitability and social acceptability, you can do it until you explode. I mean, look at Alex Jones. He's like fucking Kirby. He's just getting redder and rounder with every day of his life as he just absorbs things that he's eventually going to pop. And it's going to be the greatest day of his life. And instead of instead of like your governor, you know, like gruesome Gavin or Kathy Molecular, someone like, you know, yeah, doing like that. Oh, I'm a New Yorker. So I'm black and I'm a woman or like, you know, doing the next thing that we're going to steal from Canada, like a Democrat doing land acknowledgments wall building a pipeline. You're you the red

state equivalent now is passing a law where it's elite, you have to pledge allegiance to Israel to start an LLC. We complied with that. Yeah, no, we are we will yeah, we will be doing a pledge of allegiance to Israel later tonight. And you guys will all receive dual citizenship. Yeah, we agreed to stop five times a day and pray to the Hard Rock Casino Tel Aviv. Yeah, we are putting on traditional prayer clothes of Capri pants. Taking taking the Israeli communion of 72% purity, Molly, Molly and the worst pizza God has ever created from a restaurant called Pizza Rave. Yeah, I mean, I mean, we gotta talk about your fucking governor here in the state of Texas because he's a lot of support

for him in the crowd tonight. That's good. We've signed on to his campaign. No, it's a little weird Austin that like the God of Abraham has already tried to smite him once and failed when you're just jogging in a fucking log falls on you and paralyzes you finish the fucking job already takes it's honestly. I mean, you sort of have to respect the just pure American brain of just going out for a walk on a on a on a sunny day and having a fucking tree fall on you and take your walking ability from you and then not die and go, you know, the world is trying to tell me something and it's Greg, stay the course. You're doing great. I got to say, I know when it is God's work

and I know when Archangel Michael is on the job. And I just if it was God on the job with the tree that day, you'd have a different terrible guy. You know what I'm gonna do right now. This is a shout out to our friend Thomas Leno killer will be performing with them on Wednesday. But I'm gonna just do real quick the Greg Abbott challenge. Let's pretend this is a tree. Still got it. And by that, I mean my use of my legs. We'll be doing a summoning circle at the end of the show to send hugs and smiles to his stomach or pancreas. But before we get there, let's talk about the news. You know, we're talking about current events. And I got to say, South by Southwest,

I hope everyone who showed up for this festival and our show here this afternoon realizes that there's a fucking war going on. Wait, where? In a little place called Ukraine. But I hope you're all happy enjoying yourselves having a beer on this sunny afternoon because there are other people who can't do it. But here at South by Southwest, you know, we you know, there's a specific sort of perspective that I think needs to be addressed. And like, you know, what can we as Americans do when confronted with such horrors in the world? And the answer is we turn to the influencers. It's like what Mr. Roger said, when in times of trouble, look to the influencers and one group who is looking to the influencers is, of course,

the White House. This comes courtesy of Taylor Lorenz in the Washington Post. The White House is briefing TikTok stars about the war in Ukraine. So I thought I thought we'd read this article for you here at South by Southwest. You know, the number one influencer, the one the highest concentration of influencers in America right now, sending GPS coordinates to a certain country's Air Force right now. But yeah, I just want to make clear, though, when Russia or China uses social media to advance their agenda, that's a Hitler level evil. But when the White House does it, I think it's actually quite good. So I'm just reading here from Taylor's article on Thursday afternoon, 30 top TikTok stars

gathered on a Zoom call to receive key information about the war unfolding in Ukraine. National Security Council staffers and White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki briefed the influencers about the United States' strategic goals in the region and answered questions on distributing aid to Ukrainians working with NATO and how the United States would react to a Russian use of nuclear weapons. If Russia uses nuclear weapons, I think it's very important that TikTokers have the right reaction. They have the right facial expressions and they have the right dances that fit into the portrait mode. That's the part, because like, nukes are flying, you're going to want to go all over the place. But remember, you got to keep

it in the portrait mode if people are going to see it all. What if they did this Zoom call and then like within a day he have falls and the new Kim Philby is just a guy named Kate and Aiden. Okay, so I says as the crisis in Ukraine has escalated, millions have turned to TikTok for information. Oh, they really, really they have. Oh, man. That's not good. I mean, like you shouldn't just like that should be an article. That should be a fucking that should be a book should be a tweet. Come on. It's it's fine. I mean like I don't know if it is. I think well, okay, like if nukes fly, someone needs to be reminded to drink water. Thank you. Okay, yeah, like escalating nuclear brinksmanship in Eastern Europe. What

does this have to do with disgusting foods I can make on my marble countertop in my kitchen? This is TikTok videos offered some of the first glimpses of the Russian invasion, and since then the platform has been a primary outlet for spreading news to the masses abroad. Ukrainian citizens hiding in bomb shelters or fleeing their homes have shared their stories to the platform, while dangerous misinformation and Russian propaganda have also spread. And TikTok stars, many with millions of followers have increasingly sought to make sense of the crisis for their audiences. The White House has been closely watching TikToks rise as a dominant news source leading to his decision to approach a select group of the platforms

of most influential names. Felix, who do you think? Which one of the TikTok guys do you follow? You think should be briefed by the White House? Well, the only accounts I follow are no Russian. They're all they're not okay. I'm not following Russian like not the people doing the invasion. Okay, I'm following stable accounts. No, they're dropping the sables into Kiev. No, no, they're peaceful. They're peaceful. They're peaceful little solitary muscle. It's there. They're wonderful, but I think out of American tiktokers. Tarell should be briefed. Yeah, what about a lot of what about spins? Glorp has some unfortunate ties to the Donetsk People's Republic, but I think Tarell well Tarell is Canadian, but

really you know the same idea. They love Ukraine over there. Yeah, I think Canadians love Ukraine more than us. They really do. I think Tarell could provide the dramatic angle and it's like it's also one that does like little sketches where it's just like I'm in the mafia and have to kill my wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A typical Tarell video will be like he's like it's a very dramatic scene and it's like POV. I'm your kidnapper, but I'm nice and he goes he goes into a bathroom and the little tax representing the you the girl who's kidnapped the most beautiful girl in the world. You like she drops her towel and goes oh whoops could you get me another and Tarell goes and it's like you kidnapped

her. You know you made her like this. Yeah, you could do a good one like POV like Russian Spetsnaz guy and visiting an H&M for the first time and having a conversion experience. By the way, speaking of a Russian guy's visiting H&M for the first time, did you guys see the the news story today? It was like news video of a Russian who had chained himself to the McDonald's in Moscow Honorary American. Honestly, no like everyone is it saying like Putin is do so irrational to invade Ukraine like he's going so far beyond where he needed to go like this is this is a huge escalation. This isn't right. It doesn't fit any like IR theory. He saw that guy and he's like I have to do something or my entire nation is

going to be these dudes and then I'm done when she because then Ronald McDonald will be sovereign of Russia and if only the white Russians had had grimace. I'm not just thinking of like a like an orthodox icon of like the McDonald land players like the fry guy with like a saint halo around his head. My family was chased out of the Russian Empire in 1890 by the Hamburgler. Well, unfortunately, the hamburger. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but it would have been Mayor McCheese and Big Mac. Unfortunately, the Hamburgler has turned many of the former Soviet block states into outright kleptocracies. There's stealing burgers left right and center and nothing is nailed down is getting taken. I mean say what you will about the

Burger King, but he did emancipate Jews in his empire. Wish my family had come from there. Back to the Washington Post. It says here the the invitations to the event were distributed Tuesday and Wednesday. Khalil Green, 21, a creator with more than five hundred and thirty four thousand followers on tiktok said he wasn't surprised when an invitation arrived in his email inbox. Oh, he wasn't surprised. What a fucking fucking cloud demons. There's like I do a tiktok where I pretend to fucking talk to my dead sister who I've never had in the first place. So yeah, I was. I shocked when the Biden administration wanted to brief me on the situation in Ukraine. No, I wasn't. I was expecting for that fucking

call. He says people in my generation get all our information from tiktok. He said it's the first place we're searching up new topics and learning about things. I don't like hearing that. I mean, okay, I will play devil's advocate or Aiden's advocate. How much worse is it than like is worse than that? Then they get worse over time. I think I think there are more smiles than ever in the world, but I more reacts than ever. That's for sure. Yeah, yeah. I mean you could call the Sistine Chapel a react to the you know me re trying to press that like button. Yeah. Yeah, but I mean it's like there's no tiktoker is dumber than Wolf Blitzer. All right. Yes, that's true. And yeah, it's like bad in the sense that

it like represents declining attention spans and it's like it is I guess literally a degeneration if you want to put it that way. But I don't think it's like worse. It's fine. It's it's it's a degeneration. But why could you say that's bad? Yeah, no, that's my argument. I I will be hosting a talk tomorrow on the NFT stage called most things are fine. Everything is the same. Yeah, everything is the same and most things are fine. Honestly, you could get a tech talk out of that. Yeah, no, I'm trying to get in that gold continuing the article. It says here the briefing was led by Matt Miller, a special advisor for communications at the White House National Security. How do you hold on? Hold it. I heard people boom

Matt Miller. I'm sorry. You are reading too many articles. If you hear fucking Matt Miller, you're like oh he's the way he's the worst. The director of community special advisor for communications at the White House National Security Council at Miller. Yeah, you have got to go to rehab for articles if you do that name. The Washington Post obtained a recording of the call and in it by an official stress the power of these creators had in communicating with their followers. We recognize this is a critically important avenue in the way the American public is finding out about the latest said White House director of digital strategy Rob Flaherty. So we wanted to make sure you had the latest information from an authoritative

source. Jules Turpick, a Gen Z content creator who makes tick tock essays about digital culture. Jules Turpick, who whose name came from when they passed out from lean and put their head on their fucking keyboard. That is a Eastern European name. Jules Turpick said the White House's decision to engage creators such as she was essential in helping stop the spread of misinformation. Those who have an audience can ideally set the tone for how others decide to assess and amplify what they see online. She said, I'm just gonna like like a world war two era propaganda but for like tick tockers or it's just like when you don't post you support Hitler or it's just like you know it's Vladimir Putin like leering over your

keyboard and it's just like take the day off. Don't post about the news. Thanks Vladimir. What are so the idea here is like we tell these tick tockers what's going on in Ukraine and because they are goldfish they believe us and then they spew it to their followers who then because they're even smaller goldfish believe them. For what? What are they gonna do? They can't they don't even vote. They don't do anything. They're children. What difference does it make what they think about Ukraine? I don't know. No one's ever tried like combining swag in the news. I mean well except for the three gentlemen you see on stage here today. That's right. But you know we're all look we're all 63 years young you

know our times pass. The only way this makes sense is if they're hoping that a non inconsequential percentage of the young unemployed footloose and anxious and hormonally charged tick tock karate listen to this shit and then like volunteer to go over and fight on our behalf because we cannot send our own army over like that's it like tick tock brigades like a tick tock international brigade going to yeah that's the only thing that makes sense because otherwise what difference does it make what they fucking think after the call several influencers said they felt more empowered to debunk misinformation and communicate effectively about the crisis to who for why tick tock has been overrun with false and misleading news since the war

broke out and on Thursday the company said it would finally begin labeling state controlled media on his platform. What about ours that's that you literally this is an article about being briefed by the U.S. state eating a whole thing of state controlled media but that is not going to fall under the umbrella of state controlled media. Okay how about this though okay pretend to pretend I'm writing for a Netflix show that gets canceled after 45 percent of an episode. How about how about you know a bunch of a bunch of kick ass women call out the fuckboy behavior of the ghosting of Kiev. Pretty cool. What if they did that. Can you not say that both state funded regimes of information are by definition misinformation.

What if you support them both. I like it when America does it I like when Russia does it. I like that better honestly. But picking one is dumb like if you interrogate the decision to pick one in misinformation stream over the other is being closer to the truth because you don't fucking know you're just getting it from the stream like everybody else picking one channel over the other is arbitrary and you don't fucking know and at the end of the day it's like I'm drooling a hole in my head and making a decision. If you decide both are bullshit I accept that and if you decide both are nice. I accept that too. Those are both far superior and more respectful than picking either of them. But look it's not

just a tarot it's not just Jen Parlak and Caden Aiden work snorkeling. Yeah we got some names from the past here in this article snorkeling this out. The voices dominating the conversation on the Internet can be freewheeling and unexpected. Many creators on Thursdays Thursday's call for instance were shocked by the presence of Aaron Parnas the twenty two year old son of Lev Parnas a Ukrainian born American businessman and former associate of Rudolph W. Julie. I am you thought left Parnas was done son. Yeah. No is the reboot. This is David Arquette coming back for screen five. I have watched three episodes of Lev Parnas's podcast called Zoomed in where the hook is that it takes place on Zoom which makes it different than any other

podcast I guess. But it's on like a David Brock network and he hosts it with another like a 21 year old Democrat. Very I'm I love podcasts that no one listened to. But I am I am familiar with Lev Parnas Jr. Well you say don't listen to it says Aaron Parnas has recently emerged as a powerful tick tock influencer by providing nonstop news updates about Ukraine. On the night of Russians invasion he hosted tick tock live screams discussing the event to over eight hundred thousand viewers. Look at that's tick tock but I mean his podcast. That's what really counts here. Is it like isn't it like a ten minute limit on tick tock. What is he getting whether there's tick tock lives. Oh they can go like as long as Matt they're live now. They're live now. They're

live now. All right. Just close out the article here it says Ellie Zeiler an 18 year old tick tock star with more than ten point five million followers says she hopes to remain in communication with the White House and continue to press officials are there about key issues. She sees herself as a voice for young people in a growing contingent of news consumers getting information primarily through social media platforms. I'm here to relay the information in a more digestible manner to my follower. She said I would consider myself a White House correspondent for Gen Z. No. Yeah. She's going to press the White House and stuff. They'll press her back. You know Biden will ask her tough questions like are you my granddaughter and that is the free exchange

of information that makes this country great. All right. So that's the tick tockers. It's only getting bigger folks. And you know like I just the the new Doctor Strange Love will come from tick tock. That's what I'm convinced of. All right. Mine pure. It's giving walking. All right. All right. So we're going to do some a little bit special here today at South by Southwest where we've been on tour. We this is a we just we just knocked out the first leg of our tour. We did a Charlotte Nashville in Atlanta loving the South baby loving it. Now we're now we're here like we did the South South. Now we're in like the Texas South its own weird thing. No. We've knocked out Charlotte. That was the tutorial level. Yeah. Yeah. The undead Berg of the South

Atlanta. That was like you know a Stormville Castle National. That was a Kailit. You know that's a play. It's sort of a poison swamp zone. But now here we're at Austin. This is where the game really begins. This is in Orlando. The city of the gods. This is where the game really begins. So Austin chirp. Charlie's let you in a little little chopper backstage secret are one of our favorite things to do when we're on tour. And if you've been following us on Twitter you already know what the deal is hotel room shark tank. Yeah. It hits different. It be hit different son. That is our that is our number one favorite show to watch together in a room on tour because it is on CNBC twenty four hours a day. God bless it. It's it's it's one of my favorite shows because

it does. It's about it's about the American dream. It's about the entrepreneurial spirit is still alive and well in here in America. And we want to bring some of that entrepreneurial spirit here to South by Southwest. The thing is though. Shark Tank is about people who build businesses. Yeah. That's not and that's not my American dream. My American dream. Thank you. Patreon was to make as much money as possible doing as little work as least. That's the thing. Like the whole point of Shark Tank is like performing how much you love working like convincing these gargoyles how much you love like doing nothing else but working on this thing. And that's like that's horrible. That sounds terrible. It's like finding the delta between labor and reward. That

is the that's the sweet spot that we're all seeking. And so what we want to find from from listeners from from from other hustlers is other ideas that we can help germinate on how to get the most for the least effort. And you know that's a podcasting means to me. Thank you Patreon. But here's the like I love I love Shark Tank because it is a show about American capitalism. However the most perfect avatar of American capitalism on Shark Tank is a Canadian guy. Absolutely. Mr. Wonderful. God bless. Wonderful. The best shark the king. You know Matt you made this point about Mr. Wonderful. Mr. Wonderful is at first glance Mr. Wonderful is the most repellent figure maybe ever been on television. However it was but like that's a that's a new

be Shark Tank opinion because like you know he is just just a pure avatar of just just a wealth acquisition and exploitation. However the more you watch Shark Tank the more you realize he is actually the best of the sharks because he doesn't represent anything other than just the acquisition of profit. He's not like giving you this song and dance about how no once you get rich you're still cool and fun and approachable like fucking Cuban or that Croatian scumbag or fucking the Lori Grenier or whatever. He's just like it's about money and that reminds you about what this country is about what entrepreneurship means and about ultimately what podcasts are about. But the difference being with podcasts it's not about money in by itself. It's money in relation

to laziness. That's the key distinct. I will also give it up for Barbara Corcoran who's the the horniest shark true because anytime there's a anytime there's a guy from the military or just any guy who's moderately attractive. She's given him the deal. She's given him the deal folks as if they take her to dinner. All right. So she's me doing everybody. It's amazing. All right. So we're going to do we're going to do here now. It's up by Southwest. We're going to do we're going to do pod tank. We got some we got some guys here. We got some pitches and we're going to we're going to be the pod sharks. And I'm putting the real money here. I'm going to be an angel investor on one of these podcasts here today. Well, you know, we're going to have some podcasts pitched

to us and you give it to us. The original Kings of content. We're the podcast entrepreneurs. You bring us your podcast ideas entrepreneurs. And we're going to make some dreams here today or crush them. Depending on how it goes. So Chris, you want to kick this off? Yes, but first let us introduce the sharks. Will Menaker by figuring out how to rip MP threes off YouTube will Menaker created one of the most profitable podcasts ever. It is now a podcast thousand air. He's an angel investor in the gay chapeau also known as seeking derangements and a frequent guest on come town. Felix Biederman overcame an upper middle class childhood and ADHD slash autism before it could get you pussy to

become one of the youngest media executives in New York history at age 25. At age 25, Felix was a thousand air with tens of thousands of listeners in a high single digit body count. Now years later at 24, Felix is a thousand air with low double digit body count and the moon veil Katana and Elton ring. He is management deals with podcasts about list and episode one that are so abusive. Both shows have attempted signing with Birdman and cash money. Matt Christmas is just happy to be here. All right. Thank you for sir. So our pot tank. I think I think Matt Matt is going to be Mr. Wonderful. I'm going to be Cuban and feel us. I think you want to be like sort of a hybrid of Damon and Barbara Corker. Yes. Yes. Horny with swag. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So we bring up our

first spring up our first spot pod pitch. All right. Is Monty Taylor in the house. Maybe go up that way or that way. I don't know. Anyway, it's always a long. Monty Taylor is a staff member at UT's electronic music studios with an idea to examine and celebrate one of cinema's most iconic and idiosyncratic actors. Here's Monty. Sharks. Now I know normally it's not advisable to get into a podcast space that's already crowded like movie podcasts. That said, the reason that that space is crowded is because there's lots of money to be made there. And more importantly, I think with the right timing, the right niche and the chapeau promotional machine behind it, we can make a lot of money with the New Cage Outlaws, the Nicholas Cage

podcast. Now the meat of the podcast is a series of movie reviews over Nicholas Cage's 100 plus films with extra Patreon content that includes reading series from various interviews and articles about Nicholas Cage, examining his neo shamanic as he calls it acting process, as well as perhaps a best of the worst style duel between multiple films, cage fight, if you will. And so I'm asking for a $10,000 investment for a 5% stake in the New Cage Outlaws in order to build a state of the art podcast studio in Brooklyn. Okay. This is a pretty juicy idea, but sort of the meat of the podcast business is the desperation of the listener to be friends with the hosts. By having a Nick Cage centered podcast, you may be upsetting the ratio of the

ideal podcast paying audience, which is 95% male. How would you, how would you intend to achieve this ratio to achieve 90% male? Well, first you have to have two men, obviously there can't be any women unless they're special guests, right? I'm listening. And furthermore, to only make references to things that that dudes give a shit about. Okay, right. All right. Well, I have a question here. What's proprietary about this idea? What's to stop me from starting my own Nick Cage podcast and crushing you like the cockroach that you are? Do you want to put the effort into making a Nick Cage podcast, Matt? I mean, I don't, this is, that's the point. Effort is the enemy of podcast.

We're trying to examine the delta between laziness and profit. I like Nick Cage. I think he's a, he's a remarkable human being, a remarkable actor. I would, it would be incredibly easy for me to just watch. Whereas for someone like you, Matt, who goes on long rants about why everything's awful. I don't, I can't see you getting through more than a couple of films before you give up on this idea. I've been, I'm sorry. I think you're, you're a fantastic person. I don't know if you could do it. All right. I've been hanging in the cut here. Okay. I'm not, my fingers have been steepled. I've been hanging in the cut. Listen to this. Okay. You've correctly identified the hurdle that you have to clear here, clear here, which is that the movie podcast space is heavily

saturated. And on top of that, the Nick Cage meme space is bordering on becoming insufferable. We were just walking around down here downtown in Austin. There are multiple, Austin is a city for people who want to print out memes and share them in real space. However, however, as a creator of Movie Mindset, I'm a natural investor for this podcast here. So, but I would like to ask you, once again, what is your show going to bring to differentiate yourself from other movie podcasts and other Nick Cage based meme content? So the way I see it, we can go sequentially through each and every one of his films, examining the evolution of his artistic process over time and then, you know, corresponding that with the decay of his, you know, back tax status, for example,

and then try to make over time a very detailed look, meta analysis, if you will, of Nick Cage as an actor and his evolving process through these films. Okay, I got one question for you. Yes. What is your favorite Nick Cage performance? My favorite Nick Cage performance. And it's all riding on this. It did. Yes. Oh, God, I had it. I had it in my head earlier now. You know, you're not prepared. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. You come into the tank. You come into the tank. You have to know your stuff. I'm sorry. This hurts my confidence in you as an investment as a businessman. I am kind of have a little bit of nerves that you didn't just immediately lie when you didn't have the answer. Yeah, like that's the key is that if you don't have it, you just say something and then

there we go. Okay, okay. It's a credit. It's a credible response. It took a little time, though. It took a little time. Okay. What would you say to a deal? I'm ready to make a deal for the Nick Cage podcast. What would you say to a deal in which I invest $300, which is what I gave seeking derangements. That's the cost of the cost of a Zoom recorder, a Zoom recording device. Okay. That's the bread and butter of any podcast. And what I'm talking about is a licensing deal here. So not only will you get the money for the Zoom recorder, but I will be a guest on an episode of the Nick Cage podcast and guarantee you at least 10 retweets of the Nick Cage podcast thing in exchange for 50% of every penny that you make on the show. 50% of every penny. I'm not really

going to say that. I want to make this a licensing plan. I'll give you the $300 for the Zoom. Okay. No equity, no percentage, but I get $100 every time you mention this hairline in perpetuity. That's the deal. I make a personal rule of not investing in things that I don't fully understand and with movies a lot of the time the problem that I have really is that they're long. Also all the human facial expressions. The human facial expressions. Sometimes I leave my Adderall in New York when I'm on tour. And frankly, sometimes I'm on my phone. And I'm going to pass unless we can ink some sort of deal in Bulgaria or one of those countries. Can I try to sweeten the pot for you? Okay. So I know that you're a big fan of the filmmaker

Alexander Payne. Yes. Yes. Okay. I will swing the deal by performing all the tech duties, all the editing, everything you need to make an offshoot Alexander Payne podcast. This could be House of Payne, Here Comes the Payne or just or anything else you want. It could be an offshoot of this is sus, whatever you want to do. I will take care of all the labor to make that make that podcast happen for you. That is very enticing. We cannot call House of Payne. I've had enough legal battles with Tyler Perry and Everlast and Everlast with the Y. So that's the show. Yeah. All right. How about this with the Alexander Payne on ramp here? Or how about I have I'm not going to I'm not going to gouge you like these guys. Okay.

I only get let's say 15% of every penny. Okay. But I have what's called class B shares in your company, meaning that for my 15% stake, I have 75% voting equity, meaning that I I basically control the company and I control things like dividends. Patreon payout. He goes to the bathroom when you go to the bathroom. Yes. All right. Things like that. Don't don't don't let don't let these other sharks fleece here. I mean like that. They're ruthless. But here's the thing. You want to partner with a shark who is a fan of Alexander Payne movies because they represent the six movies he's seen in his life or do you want to go with Mr Movie Mindset? All right. I'm going to take away my license and see $300 startup start up money for the podcast and I

will be a guest on the Nicholas Cage podcast and retweet it. Do we have a deal? So you're you're giving up any equity? I'm giving up equity. I'm just 300 bucks. I'll be a guest on the Nick Cage podcast for Mr Movie Mindset. Do we have a deal right now? Is there any counter offers? Okay, you lost it. Oh, bus dude. What are you doing? You're blowing it. Oh, man. Okay. You're blowing it. Okay. Let's remind the clock 30 seconds. Do we have? Okay. We're back on. Okay, it's two hundred dollars now. No, I'm just kidding. All right. Do you want Venmo? I am on Venmo. Let's do this right now. Type type in your name here or what do you got here? Step type in your Venmo. Nick will. Menager has made a deal for no equity in the company.

Yes. And one guest appearance on the Nick Cage podcast. All right. Why don't you guys go up and do that now and I'll bring up the next guest. Give it up for Monty and the new Cage Outlaws. Welcome next to the stage is Scott Riegel here. Scott Riegel is an almost day one chapeau supporter with an idea to create content and monetize chapeaus. Most annoying fans. Thank you. Thank you. Sharks. Thank you. Chappos. May I may I present the sharks with a bribe first? Oh, that's like, yes. Yeah. Treats and bribes are essential. So for your first sojourn into Texas, I got you an essential piece of Texas history. Memorial coaster

of the Texas theater where Lee Harvey Oswald was arrested. Monty is just been his Nick Cage cast has just been that's just been fun. Excellent. Yes. All right. This is this is the shark. So much for that. This is this theater where Lee Harvey Oswald was arrested. Yes. Yeah. You know, war is hell. War is hell by Van with Van Heflin, I believe. Yes. Yeah. Excellent. That's good. That's a good start. You're starting well. We see. Yeah. We see a lot of people come across come across this stage. A lot of losers, a lot of jokers, a lot of people who in a better era would be thrown in a debtor's prison because they don't do their homework. You my friend have done your homework. This is a hell of a gift.

Day one listener. This is something. You know what? This is something I can put my disgusting bubbly glass of water on my night. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. We're talking about doing our research for the sharks here today. Are you wearing the fall a fall t-shirt? Wow. That is folks. Honestly, I'm there right there. That kind of obsequiousness will get you nowhere in the tank. I don't know who that is. So it's fine. All right, sharks. So the key to making money is using a resource that you have endless supply of for free. And what does Choppo have more of than the most annoying guys in your mentions on Twitter that have ever existed? That's true. That's true. My podcast is called Bye Bye Reply Guy. Okay. So we get four of the most obnoxious

rose emoji gritty avatar Twitter accounts that you can pick out. And we get them on our show. And they think that they are competing. They think they are competing to be on your show. They think they are, you know, they're testing out their best bands, their best riffs. So we're talking about which shit libs got corn cobbed. They're talking about they're talking about which chuds fucked around and found out. They're saying my dude. My dude. Yeah. That's a yikes from me. You know. Okay. A lot of herbs. They're trying out their posts that they meant to put on the Choppo subreddit before it got shut down. RIP. Rest in piss. One of the best spin offs we ever did. We pawned it off on seeking derangements in an all cash deal. That's some financial mindset right

there. That's why you're the shark. Absolutely. But instead of being a guest on your show, their prize is the actual forbidden knowledge that this whole time Choppo Trap House has actually been a CIA scyop to destroy the nascent left in America. Okay. Red Cajina was right. The Twitter Maoists were right. Okay. It's intriguing. And as an added bonus to you, they stop replying to you entirely. They go into a mania a la Jean Hackman at the end of the conversation, tearing apart their apartment. And they are out of your mentions forever. They become fans of Truinon, though. And they hassle Truinon instead to make an episode about you and then hassle them to come to Texas for years and years instead of you. Okay. But I

understand what you're what you're offering us. But but you know, how does this help you? Because essentially you're making a show with the worst content imaginable. Yeah. Who is the audience for this? That's the real question. The audience is your endless supply of Choppo reply guys who think they will be have a shot on being on your show. Okay. An aspirational thing. Okay. I got to say to you, you know, you you have the good instant here of, you know, getting a profit out of something you have an endless supply out of. But, you know, I can I do this without even trying. You know, I to achieve your goal, all I have to do is not accept DMs and my open DMs and people go through this cycle in about three months. You know, I could I could pull it up right now. I could

show you probably 500 guys who a year ago were sending me the worst replies imaginable being like, you know, oh, have you seen this picture of Steven Seagal that everyone's seen? And then a year later are like I'm moving to Florida to work for Ron DeSantis because I didn't reply to them. That's true. Okay. Oh, for those reasons that Felix mentioned and the fact that I desperately need to use the bathroom. I'm out. So just do that. Okay. Thank you for your time. Alright, so I I I'm intrigued by this idea. I have to say I love the idea of methodically and statistically crushing the spirits of these worms who I have nothing but contempt for. And I love more than that publicly and ritually reaffirming my hatred and contempt for them, especially because not

only do I enjoy it, I know they do too. So I'm all I'm actually I'm in on this. But I I am a little skeptical about one who yet the audience as we said like who who's going to listen to it. But specifically, like if the idea is is that the the reveal is that oh, we're the CIA sci-op lol you're owned. You can only really do that once, right? Like you can only do that in the first episode. How do we make this a continuing series? How do we break the spirit of a reply guy differently each week is my question. I understand that. I wasn't I was intending on keeping the the prize a secret to the audience, but okay, so what's what's the I understand that like I'll take that as just a personal pleasure. But then what is the what is the what is the climax of a given like

episode of the show? Like like what what what does the listener get out of out of an episode of this show? I guess the listener gets you know it's it's similar to the real Shark Tank. The listener gets the vicarious thrill of knowing that they could potentially one day with the you know with their best their best Stalin memes get on choppo. Okay, and and they could identify with the entrepreneur there. I get I see the vision. I'm willing to make an offer. I think I mean I'm alone on this. I think I think Will I think Felix is out. I'm out but I do have I do have a little bit of an insight for you because it sounds like you want to go for this and I do want your idea to work. I think you know vicarious thrill you mentioned that a lot something you guys are both

into crushing the dream very nice. I think there's no reason why you can't make crushing the dream part of the experience for the listener. Exactly. That is something everyone wants to hear about bad things happening to people that aren't them but are enough like them that they're happy that it hasn't happened to them. Yes. And I feel like without revealing the whole CIA thing you can in some ways record their dreams being crushed and their life falling apart. Right. Right. And I feel like that is your competitive edge here. See now I think we're getting some there. So here's my here's my offer. I'll give you the I give you the three hundred dollars for the zoom which is we understand that's that's what you need for a podcast and but I need to

provide one that we we structure the show in such a way that it has a competitive component whereby over the course of the episode the contestants the multiple reply guys who are brought in for the episode degrade themselves over the course of the episode with more with more and more tripe and pathetic and cringe worthy meme attempts so that by the end of it they're like literally just doing doge stuff from 2013 but they're doing it because they just want to get the bite of that apple. So I'll take and and the other cries that was as which Felix introduced and I agree with is is that there is at the end of the episode instead of the reveal which I agree we can't have because it's it's secret and it's I think

once we if it's a limited series we reveal it at the very last by the way it's not a secret because Red Cajino has already posted my parents home address on Twitter. We reveal it at like the baby and the last episode if we make it if we if we know when it's coming but but the end of the episode is yes a drop in on a previous winner where we see just how far they've fallen since they learned the truth so with those provides those I will make you the offer for the three hundred dollars for the zoom what do you say yes or no right now that's a great offer I will take that all right another podcast created let's do it deals deals deals deals I'd also like to shout out another CIA sigh up on the bill tonight pussy riot let's go wait

they're performing yes on the stage later tonight are you serious here for pussy riot yes sky regal has just made a deal with shark matt christman to fund three hundred dollars for his bye bye reply guy is jonathan randall in the house is jonathan randall now here he is there's a boy all right come up to the stage there's stairs over there jonathan randall is a computer scientist science student with an idea for putting the beam on one of chapu's most notorious enemies oh oh sorry about that sharks okay I wrote some stuff down I have a lot of ideas for this hi I'm jonathan it's a pleasure to be hello jonathan before the sharks today I'm here to present

the Dershowitz effect oh the worst day of Alan Dershowitz's life was when he was accused of having sex with minors of course the second worst day thanks someone's taking a stand the second worst day of Alan Dershowitz's life when Epstein was killed by by himself in jail removing any chance of Alan Dershowitz representing him in court uh the best day of his life was when his first wife killed herself uh this was a huge miss opportunity for Dershowitz the criminal law expert but it doesn't have to be the end of the story imagine if you will an alternate timeline where Epstein survives and Dershowitz has a chance to defend both his client to some extent himself in a true trial of the century in this new timeline Dershowitz could craft a legal defense at the

cutting edge of case law think gay panic defense the glove that didn't fit oj prince Andrew who is physically incapable of sweating everything is on the table all the cards are out but it's up to Dershowitz what direction he wants to take it all I ask from the sharks today is to cover the 100 the 100 per video fee Alan Dershowitz charges on cameo now jonathan jonathan we uh we read your podcast request yeah and here's the thing this is an idea that's a three a three sharker you're going to get you're going to get all the sharks on both this idea so we are so we are so into this idea jonathan I know he just said a three sharker idea but let me shark the sharks okay okay okay what what okay so first of all uh I was immediately

attracted to this idea because two ideas you notice I passed on them because they were asking for zoom recorders I fucking hate zoom recorders I'm sorry if you're in the audience and you invented the zoom recorder I'm sorry but I am not using a device that takes batteries I'm hooking it up to my computer I am offering you not you know $100 each from three different sources I'm offering you $300 from a single source on the proviso that you use a focus right that hooks into your computer through usbc okay okay uh the you know the per video fee you know got invented credit cards for reason okay yeah yeah you gotta spend money to make money right that's basic mindset yeah which really you know a focus right that's uh 141 97 depending on sales tax and shipping okay leaving

you with the remaining money that you can spend on a sort of alarmingly rectangular perk 30 in the shape of sponge bob that sort of gives you the calm demeanor necessary to talk to professor dirshowitz I want the tesla logo shaped one well I mean you're in the right place for it these guys are going to offer you you know some fucking mickey mouse crap where it's like oh I get 50 cents of every penny that you know you get for your dirshowitz vodka you know I've seen I've seen them do this to a billion guys who've walked in front of us I'm only I am only asking for a you know let's say 17.5 stake which puts me right underneath the amount that would make me self employed on my taxes and cut me out on a lot a lot of really great deductions that allow me to keep

innovating in return I would uh you know we're very proud of not having advertisements on our podcast on yours though yeah go for it go fucking can yeah I get I get uh let's say 45 percent of that and there's so many options too yeah there are so many advertisers that would want to get on uh on a supporting Alan dirshowitz ash kash bagash yeah forever 21 uh some sort of like app based massage parlor now mac welden for when you don't take off your underwear at all at the massage table it never happened um and to finally did my my my third way fair what yeah my fit my third my third ed to chew my third edge on these guys is look it took them it took them a second to work at venmo

i'm using venmo all the time i pretty easy for me i i got it like three weeks ago i'm i'm fluent in venmo i cash app it takes me a second cash app what's that oh you see yeah snap cash snap cat that's one too i'm sending i you know what i am sending people 45 more than one it's the same thing why do you need more than one of the thing matt you're supposed to be a shark you're supposed to you're wonderful did you is this the guy that you want you know handling your your your liquid your liquid payments no you want to you want a guy who is sending people 45 all the time yeah and does it does it just like he bores his morning gov i'm interested but will already gave away that he's interested so i want to well i'm not interested anymore yeah that i mean like well if

i feel i feel like said he was going to give you the three hundred dollars so my one hundred dollars that's three alan dershowitz cameos and that's that that's that's your that's your that's your like you know that's your stake money right there if i if i am spending three hundred dollars on alan dershowitz's cameos i want him to sing happy birthday to me in the nude i i don't care about your podcast sorry once you have three alan dershowitz cameos you can edit the audio a la simpson's rock bottom to get him to say i killed my first wife so just just make him use you just say the three cameos just make him use you say the words first wife kill and yeah then we can edit we can edit from there okay so the what's the offer i kind of got lost you're blowing

it uh the author is from me from a single source uh seventeen point five percent equity uh forty five percent of all commercial revenue uh and a lightning fast transfer of money on venmo cash app or whichever you choose you know to be honest when i knew i was coming here today i was hopeful that felix would offer me because he is a king of digital real estate much like barbara cork grant but he has significantly less face filler so i will tell you just wait till we get the ad money we got another deal another podcast mitten of course let's get this deal done all right chris has made a deal all right shark felix all right chris we were like we're i think we're better out of time we're out of time but it's gonna be the last one we have just like the

our okay we got a last one no we this is the that was our that was also okay we got honorable mentions though maybe we do have one on let's shout it out yeah uh you're not coming to the stage sorry but uh dan uh fantagato are you here there he wanted to do a podcast uh uh basically creating sleeper cells of chaffo uh chaffo affiliates all throughout the austin area using his access to production teams to uh make tiny chaff filter left his uh internet users into tiny chapos okay to wait wait wait wait wait and competitions with us no thank you i already spend enough money squashing these people why would i want to pay to bring them up to attack me other people that could be a funnier or smarter or more talented than us uh no sir thank you we've

already contacted our attorneys you will be receiving a winner in the middle we are already deep in our king herod era we are all about smiting the first born to prevent them from rising up against us no we sure as shit aren't fucking funding their uh their resistance no thank you i know for the honorable mentions i will lend you a hundred dollars and there's one other one the uh the louis gomez oh louis gomez i was gonna i was gonna i was gonna i was gonna i was gonna give louis gomez money because i thought you were the real louis j gomez the porto rican rattlesnake but just for that alone uh yeah our honorable mentions will get a hundred dollars event though from yeah from everybody mr and mr we'll send a merch back to so uh i'll hit you guys all up thank

you to all our our pod trepreneurs very much because we minted we minted three new fucking great podcasts today very excited sought by southwest chair charlie's we're out of time today but before we go let's let's stand up stand up stand up i would like you like i said the god of abraham failed in his duty to smite your awful governor greg abbot merely paralyzing him so we're gonna turn to the elder gods at this point i would just like a like like everyone to join me in a summoning circle now to hex the stomach or pancreas of greg abbot i uh i saw actually just this morning when i woke up i saw a story about a woman here in texas who had to be medivac to colorado because of a miscarriage had to be put on a fucking plane to get a pregnancy terminated

a pregnancy that would kill her in colorado so i'm hoping greg abbot and ken paxton's bodies can be colonized by parasitic wasps maybe he can like wheel himself into a fucking ravine and then have his fucking a whole chest cavity turned into a fucking beehive back in me style so join me right now in the greg abbot ken paxton summoning circle to to hex their stomach and pancreas with hugs and smiles so let's just hold all the answer ready just channel every negative thought you had debate with a lot of positive vibes bring the negative vibes here towards the state house just down the line demons yes they're fucking demons they're fucking demons i've done a lot of summoning circles in my life this one feels like the one we're gonna do it cheer up charlie south by

southwest patreon thank you guys so much we're at chopo trap house fuck all you hoes detroit till i die motherfucker talking all that bullshit