Chapo Trap House - 644 - Hunter Gatherer (7/11/22)

Episode Date: July 12, 2022

The boys mourn the loss of former Japanese PM Shinzo Abe and reflect on his life and career and speculate as to why someone smoked his ass with a 2-liter pepsi and pack of Mentos. They then discuss Elon "Mr. Too Damn Follow Through" Musk's backing out of buying Twitter, Hunter Biden's latest antics, and President Brandon's cratering approval rating.

Hello gang, it's Joppo Monday, July 11th and before we start the show today, I've got a big announcement to make. That's right, it's our fall tour. This is going to be a big one. We're playing some big venues and we are hoping to include some musical acts and special guests including if you're a fan of a certain Greek YouTube, if you're a fan of a certain Greek comedian known for his delightful crowd work, well then you can look forward to him at our New York and Miami shows. That's right, Gallagher. We're going to have some musical acts yet to be announced, but here's the important thing. Tickets will go on. John Hinkley, he's playing. That's right. No, do not hold us to that. But you know, hey, we're in talks. Our people are talking to his people and by that I mean the Central Intelligence Agency.

No, okay. Here's the important details. You must know. Saturday, October 1st, we will be in Chicago, Illinois at the Vic Theater. Saturday, October 8th, we will be in Los Angeles, California at the Theater at the Ace Hotel. Saturday, October 15th, we will be back in New York City at the Town Hall Theater and then closing it out on Saturday, October 29th, we will be in Fort Lauderdale at Revolution. So it's the tour of nothing but Saturdays. It's all Saturdays in October are covered by our massive and incredible new tour. Here is important information for you to know. Tickets will go on pre-sale to Patreon subscribers on Thursday. And links to ticket sites along with pre-sale code will be posted there at 10 a.m. Pacific Standard Time Thursday. Ticket sales to the general public will begin on Monday, July 18th at 10 a.m. Pacific Standard Time. So that is our big announcement to kick off this Monday show.

And fellas, I got to say, look, I've been away since Friday. I've been away all weekend. I know you guys are on a little retreat together, but all I will say about this fall tour and this upcoming episode for Monday is, I feel confident knowing that we will do our best work and we will continue to thrive just so long as that we can still can live under the leadership and guidance of former Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abbott. As long as he is still around to guide us with his honorable wisdom and leadership, I feel that this tour will be a success and I feel this Monday's episode will continue to be great. So let's start the show. Just so you guys know, we are recording this. We're actually recording this on July 1st, if you're hearing this, because we're actually taking a sailboat to Japan to get a personal blessing from former PM Shinzo Abe, our mentor, the guy who guided us in media, so he can bless this tour and it can be just as successful as our southern tour.

Guys, I got some bad news. What? Shinzo Abe has been compromised to a permanent end. Wait, what? By a science fair volcano. What? Yeah. What?

So some dude went to, he went to a gas station parking lot and he bought one of those fireworks packages called like, you know, Grounds for Divorce or, you know, Eternal Purple Lotus Bloom and he just aimed it at Shinzo Abe and blew his ass apart. It actually happened. Shinzo Abe was killed by a Diet 7 upcan that someone smoked weed out of. They dropped a Mento into a two-liter bottle of Diet Pepsi and it shot him in the back. That is such a, if you're like, if you're like a guy who wants the Japanese Empire back, that's such a bad way to die. Yeah. Getting killed by like a shaken up tab bottle. That, yeah, an unbelievable own of someone who indeed was trying to resurrect like one of the imperial dreams of the 20th century.

Just murk by this dude. You got killed by a prop gun used for community theater production of The Outsiders. You got killed by one of the things they claimed they pulled off the streets by, was pulled off the streets by the Toronto Police Department. Oh man. But I respect it more than anything though. Like he made that shit. It's like the ingenuity that went into that is genuinely amazing and it worked. It's so Japanese. The fact that he made it, the fact that when they asked him about it, it's not like, oh, I'm the second coming of Christ and blah, blah, blah. And I didn't do it and I was brainwashed. It's like, no, I just, I didn't like the job he was doing and I didn't like one of his associations.

And the most, can you picture a Japanese guy running after killing somebody? No. Yeah. And the Japanese guy like jumping over fences and like hiding under an empty kiddie pool and shit. No, it's embarrassing. They're just like, okay, I'm done. Come and get me. Yeah. Apparently, the story now is that his, the guy's mom, the guy's mom had been a member of the Unification Church, which is a South Korean far right. Moonies.

The Moonies and one of the like key cultural arms of like Asian Gladio in the post-war world. And this guy's mom and Abe is associated with it because they have the same political goals. And he's endorsed it. Donald Trump is endorsed it. They both sent videos to Moonie conferences in South Korea. And this guy's mom gave all her money to the Moonies and he got pissed. So he, he whipped up this fucking in the line of fire ass gun. And just stepped to him. And you know, I gotta say, people are talking about like, what's the deep state angle here? And I'm like, this kind of feels to me like when that Q guy killed the fucking Gambino boss. Yep.

Yeah. It's like some guys are out there and they just, they're wired to be like, have the weird ambient paranoia violence that's like permeating everything, but also have their shit together enough to make a fucking gun that could kill somebody. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's when, when just a guy who wasn't brainwashed and wasn't MKUltra and none of that does that. It's kind of like, you know, when a guy with no formal music training hears a song and can play it on piano, you just gotta give it up for the prodigies. I gotta give it. I mean, like, like you said, like he said, I didn't have any like particular political disagreement with Shinzo Abe, but he did say the most, the most Japanese reason, reason for killing a former head of state is I was very dissatisfied with him. Do you think that means something different over it? Do you think that's like how in Canada, if you call somebody a goof, it's like threatening to rape their family to death?

You know, because it's like, we don't really know. Yeah, you can't stop calling Canadian a goof. Yeah, someone told me that like calling someone a goof in Canada is like, you're, you don't like extinguish your bloodline. Yeah, it's like the most provocative curse. That's really, that's cool to know that you can go out there and just drop a hammer on them if we ever do go to Canada. Yeah. I mean, like, look, we've, you know, we've discussed, you know, real assassinations, assassination attempts, and obviously all the mass shootings that happened in this country. You know, the people are carrying out with, you know, high capacity assault rifles that you can pretty much just, you know, purchase at like, you know, roadside sort of like, you know, like how they used to sell jewelry on the side of roads. Pretty much in America, you can just buy an assault rifle there.

And it seems mostly they're just shooting up parades and schools and shit like that. Whereas in Japan, like, to get a gun is like harder than getting a mortgage. You know, like, and like, but yet they've got certain geniuses out there that are getting it done, getting it done, dropping former right wing political leaders who are like, literally trying to restart Unit 731. Yeah. And you know what? Like, this really is a rebuke to the people who like fetishize American firearms. It's like, you know, the font of freedom and also bemoan how we have all these mass shootings, but nobody ever shoots politicians. It's because guns are so easy to get. So like your ambient asshole can just decide to end it all in like a blaze of glory on their mind. You don't have that option in Japan.

So those goofs. Yeah, that's right. I said it. Don't do anything. They stay in their mom's basement. They spiral into Hickey Moritum. But so only the really committed can do it. And if you're really committed, you're not going to shoot someone randomly.

You're going to pick a target. And that means you're going to pick somebody who is consequential, a consequence that is like equal to the act of having to build that gun and use it. So it's got to be a political figure. If you want presidential assassinations again, you need gun control. No one in America wants it bad enough. It's a baseball analogy. Would you rather have the guy who runs like the 40 yard dash, like half a second slower than the other guy, but the guy who's faster has good form. The guy who's half a second slower has terrible form.

You want the guy with terrible form because the sheer talent is there. You just have to train him because he wants it more. Japan's the same way. No one in America wants it bad enough because you can get a gun and a vending machine. You can make a ghost gun by going into an abandoned radio shack. A cop will just give you one if you ask. You can take them out of that. You can just take one from a cop.

They won't complain. They can just get another. And when you snap... You just take it out of their holster. They're like, don't worry about it. That's why it's there. I'm on the way back to the station. I'll pick one up there.

Don't worry about it. Yeah. Yeah. It's not like they don't have enough, but like, you know, that engenders an environment where winning is not a priority. People don't want it bad enough. And then when it does become game time, you know, like maybe it is finally the day. It's the day where it's happened. You know, maybe your neighbor's dog is finally telling you to kill people.

Maybe your wife left you. Maybe, you know, whatever. What do you do? You take your high powered rifle and you kill three orange Julius employees. The last ones in the state of Ohio. What do you do in Japan when it's game time? You build a gun out of like duct tape and a flashlight and you kill your equivalent of George W. Bush. Awesome.

I have to say, like killing a former PM or president, hilarious. The only guy, the only thing I think would be funnier is if someone killed like Francois Hollande. Like now. Yeah. Fuck you. Hold on. That would be so funny. Yeah.

I can understand if you were like, if you were a socialist and you were mad that he killed your political party. Like if you, you know, you were like, Hey, I thought we were going to do something with this whole socialist party thing. And it's like, yeah, no, he just annihilated it. Yeah. Time for him to die. Also, though, like US mass shooters or whatever, like they always find like some huge stockpile of weapons that like you said they bought out of a vending machine. You see this guy, this guy had another shoddy ready to go that had like 18 barrels. It was like some shit out of like the fallout game.

It was like a level one weapon that you craft in a video game. And it was shoot. But yeah, like shot a fucking spray of ball bearings with like a 30 yard radius. Dude, the guy is wanted it. He wanted it. And I got to say, look, I mean, like, you know, sending out condolences to Shinzo Abe and his family, but the guy I'm really feeling bad for today. Is, of course, our own former president, Donald Trump. I mean, him and Abe had some great times together.

I mean, like, I think he I think honestly, Abe was the world leader that like the Trump most liked. And they seem to vibe. Yeah. Yeah. They had a real. Apparently, Mrs. Abe hated the Trumps like poison and would not be near them. They probably didn't notice at all. But Shinzo vibe with Donald hard.

Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, Shinzo's wife was like, oh, I will not be around you and Trump. And he was just like, oh, no, we'll have the one. Oh, there's a lot hanging around bringing the mood down. Yo, boys. Boys night out. We're feeding Koi fish. Okay. The Koi fish videos.

What I'm thinking about. Cause I wanted this one. People just dump all the food, dumped all the fish food into the pond on prompted. No. Abe did that first. Okay. Yeah. Abe did it first.

People forget that. That's deceptive editing. That's actually the example of the fake news kind of stitching up Trump by manipulating things. He did not dump in the fish food first. Kind of makes you think the January 6th maybe wasn't that bad. I mean, it makes you wonder about some of those ballots. How many mules are we talking about?

2000 maybe makes you wonder. It makes you wonder if the data packets actually did go to China. And a Frankfurt server farm. That's my favorite single thing. When I first saw that promulgated, I would, I just sat back and like would imagine it in my mind. This idea, these people have of like white hat, deep state, like Trump special operators having a shootout with like CIA, uh, uh, Merck's in a server farm in Germany.

Yeah. They said that Gina Haspel died in a shootout. That was awesome. It's so awesome. They like, that was like the bottom of the last three Splinter Cell games. You people have been lobotomized by movies. You cannot imagine the world as it is. You have to live in a fucking, uh, Steven Seagal movie.

Yeah. I know. I love that. No, both, uh, uh, Trump and Abe were both trying to kill those, those coifish because there were data packets in those coifish. Let's be honest. Yeah. They were, they had, you have to overfeed them.

Everyone knows that if you give fish too much food, they die and, but you know, unfortunately they didn't kill enough of them. They didn't kill enough of them to save either of the, either Trump's presidency or Shinzo's life. So RIP Bozo. All right. Backwatch. All right.

I mean, okay. It's bad to make fun of it. It's, it's, you're losing your humanity when you make fun of it. You know, uh, we are all mortal. Blah, blah, blah. Sure. Sure. I love it when people, I love it when people do that.

I love it when people do that, like a man just died, think of his family, shit. And then you scroll down like three tweets and it's like, what, you know, why Hiller was nicer than people thought. Okay. So, you know, why Reinhardt Hydrick was a cool boss. Well, okay. Yeah. I'm glad you brought that up because Reinhardt Hydrick, the man knew how to delegate.

Reinhardt Hydrick was giving oomph. Reinhardt Hydrick was giving, was giving, was giving the girl you don't notice in, uh, 10th grade and she goes to fat camp and then she's giving oomph five. That's what their tweets say. Not me. I didn't say that. Okay. What?

Reinhardt Hydrick is low key oomphy. If we're talking about, at least it relates to Shinzo Abe and please a man just died, think of his family and his oomphies. Um, Shinzo Abe's father was like, and the creator of the political party he's a member of was personally in charge of like enslaving a million Chinese people during World War II. That was his grandpa. Excuse me.

That was his grandfather. Yeah. That was his grandfather. So, his grandfather was a class A war criminal who had colonial, he, who was a colonial administrator in Manchuria. He is basically like Hans Frank, who was like the Nazi civilian head of the Polish government after the invasion, right? Like he's, that's the equivalent and Frank got executed.

Uh, his, his dad got like became one of the founders of the post war liberal democratic party, which was literally created by the United States, uh, government by CIA, like using the government's own stolen gold to, uh, and the Yakuza to like just pay to create this political party that just became the only, uh, power, like they were the, they were the, uh, governing power for the entire post war period. And then his, the funny thing is, so his, his dad was like a young guy. He was like, uh, uh, a late teens, early twenties during the war. And he actually signed up to be a, um, a kamikaze pilot.

And he was like doing the training for a kamikaze mission when the war ended and that prevented him from doing it. Okay. Yeah. Like these guys are like, yeah. This is like a real committed family to the, to the concept. And I did training to be a kamikaze pilot and then the, and then the war ends. I still think you got to go through with it.

You got to do it. Absolutely. Like what's good. Okay. If you, if the war ends and you fly into a U S battleship and like kill yourself, what's going to happen? Oh, you're going to get court marshaled. Who gives a shit?

If you want to do it or not, we'll get mad at me if I do this. Yeah. Okay. So that guy's going to be like, no, I want to have a relationship with my son, Shinzo Abe. No one believes that you liked what this proves is that his dad was a halfway crook. Fuck that guy. Yup.

He didn't really want to be a kamikaze pilot scared to death or scared to look. Yeah. If he wanted to, he would have said, fuck it. My grandfather's, uh, one of the naval ships he served on was a sunk by a kamikaze pilot in the Pacific. Oh man. So real shit. Um, that was, yeah, for real shit, um, not, not Shinzo Abe's father, though.

He was a fucking, he was fucking shook. Yeah. Pussy. That was a pussy, man. Yeah. I just, um, I want to bring up the, uh, the, the connections to the Mooneys is fascinating to me because like apparently, yeah, this guy's mom gave away all her money and Shinzo Abe personally and his party were very involved in the Mooneys.

But the thing is there are so many American politicians that are in with the Mooneys too. I mean, what are my, one of my favorite videos of all time is George HW Bush, Poppy himself calling in to the, um, anniversary of the Washington Times. And he, like, he gives, like, and it's like a, and, and, and it is like, and then, and then the Reverend Moone has a video message as well. And it's like a, it's a grand ballroom in DC filled with many of the luminaries of the Republican party. And George HW Bush calls in, he's like, you know, these do a little stick about himself

and he's like, I like the Washington Times, you know, no bias, um, you know, wouldn't be prudent. I mean, when I think of the Washington Beltway press corps, I think of, well, not going to say it wouldn't be prudent, but when I think of the Washington Times, I think of a publication that has brought much needed balance to the way Washington is covered these days. Doing things like that. And then, um, the Reverend Moone has a, uh, addresses the ballroom and he starts talking about, um, how free sex must be banned.

Absolutely, sex is centered on car and the free sex is centered on certain history, historically, world literature and media have often stimulated the free sex, but from now on, you literally figures and the journalists should lead the way to prevent free sex. Free sex should completely disappear. And once we can control free sex, he goes, a nun can oppose me and like, it's just this ballroom of like DC conservatives looking nervous, sort of like nervously side-eyeing each other. And I looked this up.

This is a New York Times article from 2004, a crowning at the Capitol creates a stir. As a shining symbol of democracy, the United States Capitol is not an ordinarily a place where coronations occur. So news that the Reverend some young Moone, the eccentric and exceedingly wealthy Korean born businessman, dawned a crown in a Senate office building and declared himself the messiah while members of Congress watched is causing a bit of a stir. One Congressman, Representative Danny K. Davis, Democrat of Illinois, wore white gloves and carried a pillow holding one of two ornate gold crowns that were placed on the heads of

Mr. Moon and his wife, Dr. Hawk Jahan Moon, who is a former Black Panther, who is a former Black Panther, who is a former Black Panther, who is a former Black Panther. And he's a former Black Panther. Really? Danny Davis, not from my neighborhood, neighborhood like next to mine. Danny K. Davis, former Black Panther who sold it out, sold out like everything he used to believe in to be like, actually, I agree with everything that the Democratic leadership of Mr. Moon at the ceremony, which took place March 23rd, and kept the reception billed

as a peace awards banquet. Mr. Davis says he held the wife's crown and was a bit surprised by Mr. Moon's messiah remarks, which are delivered in Korean, but accompanied by a written translation. In them, he said, Emperor's kings and presidents had declared to all heaven and earth that Reverend some young Moone is none other than humanity's savior, messiah, returning lord and true parent. Okay. That's kind of a serve.

That's kind of a serve. Yeah. Well, you know, from America to Japan, you know, the Mooneys, they were all deep, but one true Ronan, it was able to stand up to him. It's true. But like, it's like, not the connection goes beyond just like him schmoozing with all these politicians, like the Mooney network in Asia is like part of a general intelligence apparatus around containing communism there, you know?

It exhibits soft power in the form of its ownership of media. The Reverend Moone in the 80s, he spent like, I think they broke the record for budget on this movie about the Incheon invasion and the Korean war that had this all star cast. I think Gregory Peck was in it. And it was this huge boondoggle and an infinitely terrible film. But yeah, like that was all part of a propaganda campaign around supporting, you know, the American and Japanese capital there in Asia. So you could really consider this blowback.

Absolutely. And, you know, like, I've seen like a certain commentary on the kind of like a, the nationalist right who of course love Abba and, you know, what he represents. But the thing is, like, you know, like they're comparing him to, you know, Mishima. And they're saying like, you know, this was a glorious death in martyrdom. Yeah. Which, you know, is sort of confounded by the fact that he didn't want to die or know he was going to die.

Yeah. That's kind of ruins it. You have to be, you have to be doing it on purpose. Like Mishima did it on purpose. Like, you know, he gutted himself in that building and then had his head cut off. Yeah. And it's like, he didn't really think that he was going to successfully overthrow the fucking government.

He knew it was going to fuck up. He was prepared. It was all a ritual to get to that point of, uh... He was not like, hey, I'm going to give this speech in front of these yokels and then I'm going to, you know, have dinner and then, uh, get my, my, you know, crank pulled and go to bed. Uh, no. And then, boom, blown up.

That's not, that's not the spirit of sacrifice that you're supposed to be in. Well, and then commit, you know, sepaku, which has got to be like, that's the most committed way to kill yourself. I mean, you got to, you got to, because like, uh, in the traditional way of doing it, um, you know, you, you, you have a second to deliver the killing stroke, but you can only be granted the sweet release of having your head sliced off. If you've made, if you've fully turned the blade across your stomach and completely gutted yourself.

Okay. I've read some of the stuff that people have committed sepaku over and I kind of think they, I don't think they like overdid it. Commitment to the bit. Like, uh, there was a, there was a guy, uh, who was like the show guns uncle or some shit. And he, he committed sepaku because the show gun had like bad manners. He committed sepaku. So the show gun would like take his job more seriously.

And then in that case, it's like, okay, you just wanted to kill yourself. Uh, yeah, uh, come, come, come and accept a coup because you don't like the floral arrangements at the latest, uh, you know, a state banquet. That was it. It's like, yeah, you just suicidal. You're just like picking something at random. But yeah, like, I mean, to kill yourself in that way is God. I mean, yeah, that is, that is really showing commitment.

I mean, you know, like, you know, it got, got a hand into the Japanese. They really do elevate, um, cruelty and violence to quite a high degree of art and aesthetic principle. Well, like, I mean, if you make that one of the only acceptable forms of suicide, then you know, it worked. Look how low their suicide rates are compared to ours. Uh, well, you know, so, uh, it's one of those things, you know, like a recording last week, you know, sometimes world events, you know, screw with the show schedule.

But you know, RIP Bozo, RIP Shinzo Abe, uh, RIP Shinzo, he wanted to be just like us. We will miss him and it's going to be very difficult to continue doing the show and our fall tour. Um, but without his guidance, but I think he will be watching over all of us and continuing to provide, you know, um, like I said, spiritual, honorable leadership, um, from beyond. But his example, uh, will guide us in the future. All right. So let's, let's return to, to stateside.

Let's return to, you know, what's going on in America these days. And I suppose, uh, one thing we've talked about that, um, on the show before that, uh, has a, I guess an update to this story. I mean, guys, I don't know, this comes as a shock to me. I mean, I don't know like how you guys feel about this, but it's, I'm pretty stunned by the news that, um, Elon Musk won't be going through with buying Twitter. What? No, no way.

Mr. Too much, Mr. Too damn follow through has, um, not followed through and I, and it just, look, I, I, and you know what, I don't know if you guys noticed us or not, but as soon as I saw the news that he was backing out of the deal, I immediately noticed that all my posts were being shadow banned again after they weren't being shadow banned. It's amazing. Like this cold wind just blew across my fucking timeline. You notice how like the unthinkable keeps happening. Like Shinzo Abe was known in his life for not being shot to death.

What happened? That was his thing. Um, yes. He was not shot in the back. He had never happened to him before. Elon Musk known for doing everything he'll say he'll do all the time. The reason that we have self-driving cars and, uh, have a man mission to Mars. We have Mars colonies.

Yeah. Uh, a fully, we have, oh, let's not forget the tunnels. I mean, if there isn't like, if you can't prove, if you can't look, you cannot look at the tunnels and not see that this guy is a fucking fraud. Like that to me is the one is the tunnels, the distance between the promise of what he was like pushing and what he actually followed through with. It's like nothing he says means anything. Yeah.

So. But the thing is, is that he's saying now he doesn't want to do it, but people are pointing out, well, he's still, he said he would and now they might sue him and my God, what if they, what if he gets sued into like being forced to buy Twitter? Well, I don't think that like they necessarily want him to buy Twitter, but I do think. I think they want to, they want like a nice severance. Yeah. They want, they want to squeeze him, which is like kind of the board's duty.

He's supposed to be on the hook for like a billion dollar fee for backing out, but I think they want to negotiate like from that as the, as the basement and try to get like a better deal from him because it would be really weird to like force him to buy the company. Well, it's, it's not, it's not like he just, it's not like he just backed out of the deal. He backed out of the deal while spending like a month disparaging the core business of the thing he was trying to buy and all the executives like, yeah, no, it's, I mean, there's no reason that it has to be capped at just $1 billion.

Like they, there are a lot of, especially in Delaware, they're suing him in Delaware. They may end up executing him. I know everyone made fun of the Charles Gatrino when they're like, That Schelzer report has shooters. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Delaware.

They'll send the faceless men of bravos after you. Yeah. If you get sued in Delaware for like ripping the tag off your mattress, you're going to ADX Florence. Yeah. You can, you can not break laws against companies there. It's not going to happen. Everyone made fun of Charles Gatrino for saying Elon was going to go to prison.

But now that I know it's in Delaware, he's at least going to prison. They have a dungeon under the chance to record. The chance to record may send the gold cloaks to kill all his bastards and end his line forever. And I'm saying this as a legal expert, they're going to put them in the tower with the two brothers. Yeah. Yeah. The princes.

Did you see? I think that Elon legitimately has been sourcing legal representation from people that reply to him. It's true. Yeah. He made it like I funny meme today where he's like, basically, Oh, this is actually working out in my favor because they're going to have to go to court and admit that there are bots on their website, which no one is like ever contested that there are bots on Twitter.

What happens if Twitter admits there are bots on Twitter like, Oh, you, Elon Musk, who said that one of the reasons you wanted to buy Twitter was to clean up the bot problem. You're actually completely in the right because there are this thing that you acknowledged was a part of the business you wanted to buy. What is he thinks going to happen? Yeah. He's basically like, he's crowdfunding his like advice from Twitter because he's decided, Oh, I have like the world's greatest like algorithm at my at my disposal.

Like this is real time like reality, like being reflected by all these people, but it's like, no, this is a very specific subsector of internet addicted goons, the redditors of the world essentially. And like what they're telling you is like, it's not grounded in anything other than their fantasy lawyers. They're driving him into a wall. There is a reason if you see a lawyer on Twitter, there is a reason he's on Twitter. It's because they are a bad lawyer.

It's pretty, it's one of the closest things to a universal rule you have on Twitter is that the more your lawyer tweets, the worse a lawyer, however, however, if your lawyers on tech talk, like that guy who gets people off drunk driving charges, yeah, that's all the good legal advice is on tech talk. Yeah. I mean, like, but doesn't this like, doesn't this whole socket like, doesn't like, you know, doesn't that sort of prove that this whole thing was about liquidating a shitload of Tesla stock?

Yeah. Doesn't it seem that way? That's the most likely thing was that he was trying to sell Tesla at its absolute peak without provoking a crash in a share price. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's the most likely because like people say, like he did it on a whim like, oh, I want it, I want it to own, I wanted to get the Babylon be their account back or

something like that. Like that could be what he thought he did it. But the real reason he had to do it is because that money had to go somewhere because it couldn't stay in that stock because it's going to go down. And then it started going down big time. And now it is just fucking, it's in like a controlled demolition right now. Yeah. So it is down, it's down about like, it's been down as much as like 30, 38, 39% off peak.

I think it's down about like 20, like less than that now. It shot back up into the 700s, which is still fucking ridiculous. I'm insane. It's ridiculous for a company that's like most people, most people who haven't completely drinking the Kool-Aid think it is going to get eaten alive by like actual car manufacturers getting into EVs. Yeah. You know, companies that actually have factories and put out automobiles that have actual production

capacity. Yeah. Yeah. They're not putting them together like fucking like, like, uh, like, uh, like, uh, like match book, what are they called, uh, uh, soapbox derby racers, that's what I was talking about. Just slapping them together in the factory. And then they go out and they blow up, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, they literally

blow up. Wait a second. But like, but ha, you know, like companies like Honda or Ford or Chevrolet, if they start making electric cars, like can they compete with a company though that will keep you inside the electric car when it's on fire though? Because a lot of these companies have a very like sort of like old style of, you know, like they're stuck in the 20th century where the idea is that you should be able to get out of a car if it's on fire.

But like can they compete with Tesla, which has, you know, revolutionized the electric car space. This is exactly why Tesla is going so insanely hard on the self-driving, even though it is so dangerous and has killed so many people and it's exposed them to so much, uh, potential liability and, and, and legal fees and lawsuits. It's because they need to have a value proposition if that does happen. And it's okay. Yeah.

There's other, uh, EVs out there, but we're the only ones that are self-driving. And then that, in that thing, they're once again in the position they were before where they're the dominating the market. And of course that's a fantasy and it's getting people killed, but it's the, it's the value proposition of the stock right now. I want to point out, I want to point out that Elon Musk has said that Tesla share price should be zero if they can't figure out self-driving. He said it.

He was on camera. He said, like, if this is not an automotive driving company, it goes to zero. If this is, if this is, if this is a, uh, a electric vehicle, uh, company, it goes to zero. Just say it seems like they're getting worse at self-driving every year. Worse. Killing more people because more people are using it. Yeah.

Well, to your point about liability on the self-driving part of it, like, I think in a recent lawsuit it came out that, um, the, uh, the self-driving feature, um, is designed to turn off about a second before impact so that when your car does like, you know, fucking slam into a concrete divider at 80 miles an hour, that like, when they, when they look at it, they'll just be like, Oh, well, you were driving the car at the time of the accident, so you're, we're not. You had control of the vehicle. You had control of the vehicle.

Good luck. That is, I don't think Volkswagen or fucking BMW or fucking Honda can compete with that kind of innovation. No matter how, no matter how many factories or cars they're able to produce. I know the deck, I know the deck is stacked against you if you like, sue a company in America, but that does not seem like legally sound advice. I don't think he's ever gotten advice from a lawyer who wasn't on Twitter. Yeah.

That's, that's it. And obviously it's terrifying how many of these cars just burst into flames, but what's kind of funnier because it's, I guess, less dangerous is the cars that just brick where it will be driving and then the entire computer system will shut off. So it will just come to a halt and not be able to be moved and not even be able to be moved like rolled because you can't put it into fucking neutral. Yeah. It's something amazing.

They developed a car that runs on Windows 10. But to this question about what was motivating his desire to buy Twitter, the best answer to that that I got, I don't know who tweeted it, but it was like, it made perfect sense to me, was that Elon was going to try to buy Twitter so that he could curate a kind of goodbye Lenin-style alternate reality where like 2006 era internet just exists forever. And he can do Chuck Norris memes and be, we're bacon, never stop being epic. And like, he can just live in that cost-coded reality of hit, like him. It's not about people who want to believe every new bullshit thing he makes up.

Like if everyone believes in him, then it doesn't matter that none of it ever happens because they just have to believe he'll figure out eventually. You know what Twitter should do to punish Elon in addition to squeezing him for a few billion? They should ban every Dutch person from Twitter. That's 99% of Elon Musk's supporters are Dutch people. It's true. The Dutch love him.

The freaks. The Dutch are some of the worst people online, just a nation of engineers. Come on. Who are we talking about here? Yeah. Dutch people. These terrifying nerds. If you ask a Dutch person to transcribe their dreams, it's in rage comics.

That's like how their internal monologue is structured. They're so far behind everyone. I know there are worse people online, like there are Nazis and pedophiles and stuff, but just as far as quality of post, the Dutch are the fucking worst and they all support Elon. All of them. All of these fucking bike riding sub-mental villagers, did they see a tunnel and they lose their minds?

My name is Bjorns Haversplund and I tunneled the width of a single automobile and it's the most amazing fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. I don't know what it is about those people that they're looking at. Creating the future. People, they want to hate him for it. If they get rid of Dutch people, no one is supporting him. No one but the bots. Yeah.

Band the Dutch. Yeah. Well, here's another, moving on from Elon Musk and Twitter. I guess, just back to American politics. Another huge trove of Hunter Biden videos leaked and wouldn't you know it? It's all him doing drugs and getting his cock sucked at amazing resorts. Do you ever know anyone who films himself that much? It's amazing.

Dude, not even fucking girlfriends on vacations do it like that. My God. You know what? Okay. You know what? It dawns on me. So like, so ever since he kind of like really fell off the beam, which was like in the run-up to the 2020 election, really.

He has just been going from one super expensive rehab to another, right? And every, and now we're seeing the video that everyone do he goes to, he just keeps doing drugs. He just uses the facilities, like the pools and like, which are like amazing, just like a way to chill. And what is essentially happening is that the Bidens are paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for adult daycare. Like that's the idea is like, okay, he's going to get his dick sucked.

He is going to drink. He's going to do drugs. So instead of having him like scoring it in skid row and like putting us in a potential to like have a scandal here that we can't cover up, just keep him in professional hands. And that's what they would then wilder the van wilder of rehab. Yeah. They just created. They made van wilder.

Real. I'm a super senior. It promises. Oh my God. Every read. I love the rehabs Hunter goes to all. He's gone to like 28 in the past year and they're all like, they're all these bullshit that was that are like, all right, um, we give you Percocet and you learn to overcome your

drug addiction by doing like Falcon husbandry. You learn how to, you learn how to like raise your own shrew from the time it's a baby to the time it's an adult and that'll help you stop smoking crack and like hiring, hiring women to have boresoms with you. Okay, like, okay, so like the video that came out, like the, the first one that dropped was like, like a day after Joe and Jill wired him 20 grand to continue his rehab. He's in a sensory deprivation tank, smoking crack and stroking his, stroking his big old dick.

Drinking white glass. Drinking white glass. Drinking white glass and drinking white glass, jacking off and smoking crack in a sensory deprivation tank, which I fucking love because like, isn't that sort of the opposite of a sensory deprivation? He's amplifying, he's amplifying all his senses. They're not getting deprived. I have to say, it's just, they're giving him a place that he can just kind of chill.

Did you see the video of him going naked down a water slide into a pool? That was awesome. Who has a better life than Hunter Biden? Well, he has the same, he has the same like internal like friction as like Don Jr. or Eric, right? Right. Exactly. Like security of like, oh my God, I'm never going to be my own man, like I'm not good

at anything. I'm just like this fuck up, this like this symbol of surplus and inefficiency. But whereas Don Jr. and Eric solve that by like killing an elephant. Exactly. Yeah. Oh, why do you like, why is really, oh you Democrat? Why do you think Hunter is better than Don Jr.? Because Hunter has never and would never kill an endangered species.

He would never do that. He would never do that. It's not like he's doing commendable things, but he's harming far less. He's doing less damage to the world than when these coked up monsters who go to fucking Kenya and kill graceful beings like fucking elephants that are worth more than a thousand of these fucking people. And Hunter would never do that. No, he would just, he would just record himself demanding that the escort he hired state on

camera that he hasn't abused her. That is such Dan Quinn shit. He's like, he is rich, everything is okay. Yeah. Yeah. He is rich Dan Quinn. I mean, yeah. Like, look, I mean, obviously, yes, am I jealous of spending hundreds of thousands of dollars

to quit drugs by keeping doing them and getting my dick sucked in a sensory deprivation tank? Yes. But yes, he is a rotten evil guy. Awful. You're terrible. He's terrible. But like, yeah, like, it just, also in one of the leaks, like one of the leaks texts he refers to Jill, his stepmother is a vile cunt.

Damn, bro. Jesus Christ. God, not getting over the stepmom hatred. Fuck. Yeah. I love how he's like a 57 year old man and he's like, I need to smoke crack this weekend. My stepmom's being a real bitch. Honestly, he should, he should fuck her.

He should. Yeah. He's like the final boss, wouldn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. Hunter's got to fuck Jill in the second, second term, Hunter fucks Jill, okay? Branded.

Oh yeah. Branded should promise that. Branded should tease it. Yes. Like it's the boys or something and be like, we have some really exciting storylines for term two. Yeah. No, you should tease that.

Hunter is starting to look at Jill. Yeah. Come on. Tune in next season. Yeah. She's stuck in the, she's stuck in the Lincoln bedroom washing machine, Hunter. You've got to get her out. But okay, you remember, remember like on the, the original leaks when it was like the laptop

shit and like all of his Google searches were like, were like boobs. And like, no, it was like, what I loved about that is like, you could tell like, you know, this is something fellas, I think we could all relate to this of just like the escalating frenzy of being horny of like how, how baroque your search terms gets where it starts off is like girls, boobs, milk, crackhead, milk, and then it's stepmother who's the, stepmother who's the first lady, very niche, very niche porn category is, yeah, the stepmother who is the first lady to the United States. And Jill, she's hot.

She's stuck under that coffee table. Jill, Jill wears, Jill wears some of the worst fits of all time. Like a Jill fit is like a green blazer with peaked lapels and a weirdly long skirt that has the pattern of like an Italian dining table cloth. That's Jill. I know the nines, but she's not, I know you guys, I know you guys saw Jill at the Latin X inclusion lunch, the zoom out on that video where it's like eight people in the audience. The only people clapping are on the dais.

She found all the Latinos in America who use Latin X every one of them is in one room. Yeah. Oh God. Designated Latin X user. It's the deepening man. We are in the deepening. The deep is, is, is IRL now. Yeah.

You cannot tell me. You cannot tell me Jill Biden, like, or she's being wasted at the Latin X luncheon. She needs to be, she needs to be getting, she needs to be getting lunched on by her crack head stepson. They should get Eric Kripke. They should get Eric Kripke, the showrunner of the boys to be like, do you want to do something for this country? Like he's the new version of Kubrick directing the moon landing.

And it's like, we need you to make a teaser for Biden 2025 through 2029. And it's, it's like, it's Joe looking at temporary compound V, like a green vial. So he's able to like, able to stay alive to issue signing statements that affirm that like guns are bad. It's, it's yeah. Jill and Jill and Hunter eyeing each other from across the Lincoln bedroom. Just all these storylines. This is the FX presidency.

It is. We're good. Because obungler, that was HBO. It's not TV. It's HBO. Now we're at FX. This is FX slash Amazon prime video. And this is the anti-hero presidency.

Brandon is the anti-hero because he is literally at 33% approval. Yeah. He is the hero going. Yeah. I'm speaking about 50 points. He is 50 points underwater with the youngest voters. It's it is unprecedented. Well, yeah.

I mean, you guys brought that up. I have the New York Times article about this that I came out today. It says, most Democrats don't want Biden in 2020. Yes. Paul says, with the country gripped by a pervasive sense of pessimism, the president is hemorrhaging support. President Biden is facing an alarming level of doubt from inside his own party with 64% of Democratic voters saying they would prefer a new standard bearer, the 2024 presidential

campaign, according to a New York Times and a college poll. As voters nationwide have soured on his leadership, giving him a meager 33% job approval rating. To which the response of that by Dan Pfeiffer was, if you look closely at the poll, Trump actually has a lower approval rate. When it's like, okay, okay, like this is a good strategy. Just like, okay, they're going to make sure that Trump is a Republican nominee again and count on the fact that he's so unpopular that he'll be more unpopular than Biden. When has it ever failed?

It is astounding. They have only one move. They only have ever had one move. They've always gotten what they wanted, and what they wanted got us this, and now they're saying they can get us out with the exact same thing. That's like all the people that are so fucking angry now, and they're like, all the people who are like, how is it fucking possible that the Democrats have 50 years to prepare for Roe v. Wade being overturned, and they got nothing.

They got nothing in break glass in case of emergency, and the answer these people had is they did have a plan, and it was Hillary winning the 2016 elections, which is hilarious if that's your plan, but if that's true, then I don't know, she should have won the fucking election. She should have been a better candidate, shouldn't have felt it be her in the first place, should have recognized her deficiencies, which were on display. The fact that she fumbled the ball against Obama should have told everyone she can never be the nominee.

They went with just like, wow, Hillary's got a big, she's got a lot of shooters basically in the Democratic Party. I don't want them against me, so I have to buy her off. Not recognizing that by like, that means she's getting guaranteed in exchange for her cooperation. She's gonna guaranteed the nomination. She was already guaranteed the nomination, and Barack Obama came out of nowhere and slapped the ball out of her hand. She cannot win, and they let it happen.

To the issue about Trump, though, it's this year, one glimmer of good news for Mr. Biden is that the survey showed him with a narrow edge in a hypothetical rematch. You know what? I love those odds. I love what these people, don't these people say this election is literally the future of democracy, right? If the Democrats lose the next election, it's the end of American democracy, and they're saying, yeah, 51%, let's go in there with that right now.

Let's commit. Joe Biden now, who knows what's gonna happen between now and election day. You're not gonna get better than this narrow lead, and you're gonna fuck, you're confident going in with that with American democracy on the line? Yeah, the glimmer of good news is that in a hypothetical rematch with 2024 with former President Donald Trump, 44% to 41%. The result is a reminder of one of Mr. Biden's favorite aphorisms. Don't compare me to the almighty.

Compare me to the alternative. The only thing the Democrats have had to run on for the last 30 fucking years and look where it got them. They already lost this campaign. That is why Biden is the antihero president. He's William H. Macy and shameless. He's like that. He's like, I know I'm a piece of shit.

I'm a bastard. I'm a bad guy, but I'm your hero because the party won't let you vote for literally anyone else. It's just me. And if I die, it's Kamala. Good luck. Okay, so this is where I honestly feel like I have said that I think that if J.B. Pritzker really goes for it, he could get the nomination, but I don't know if the clinician is whether

he will really go for it, but if he is not able to do that, if the party can't recognize its short-term interest means getting rid of Biden and coordinating to dump him and they can't get behind him, then it's a fatally compromised institution even on its own terms and it will not be able to perpetuate itself. It's done for, but J.B. is really the last hope these people have. I honestly think that they need him or it's like, yeah, we produce an unviable option and you cannot change it. It's Biden or it's Kamala.

We have no mechanism to enforce anything else. I think the only person who could disrupt that equation is somebody who can buy off the fucking, buy off the minions because they're the ones who are going to defend Biden against any outside charge because they're greedy little pigs who want to keep their position in the trough. The only argument I can think of for Kamala by people who support her by the Democratic Party would be, hey, you want to see what it looks like, right? Yeah, I am kind of, I mean, she is the only argument that's going to come up.

I really do. I really do. I do, you know? Honestly, Biden is hilarious. Like this old man, like the way they keep him bundled up and then they come out for a few incoherent words and he's just, it's very funny. Kamala, every time she opens her mouth, she is something that is just a diamond of pure hilarious.

Kamala at this point is so funny. She is almost at Trump levels of how funny it is every time she gets on camera. Wait, did you see the thing about like, she's on a bet with herself to like not say something for as long as she can? She has done more to change the understanding of an American English sentence structure than any linguist in history. It is like, it's an insult to call it circular sentences. They're amazing.

They somehow, their sentences will be a strip sentences. You know what they are? They're non-Euclidean sentences. Yes. Yes. Did you see your response to like, I was like, Jonathan Martin was interviewing here and he said, do you think the Democrats made a mistake not codifying Roe v. Wade over the last 50 years?

And she was just like, you know, honestly, I think, you know, honestly, you know, we regarded the issue as settled. And like, and she's telling the truth, they just like, they were like, okay, the Democrats are like, yeah, abortion is settled. That's what we believe. And that's why we're not going to do anything about it because yeah, it's settled. And you know, we believe that so no one's going to, no one's going to just, no one would assume it's not settled.

The typical like Kamala is such a genius because she lies about exactly the wrong things. She tells the truth. She tells the truth when she is just frankly admitting that the Democratic Party is cynically cynical and incompetent. She will directly tell you that. But then like lies about having any plan, any idea, like just the uniquely uninspiring and the typical Kamala sentence, at least in the past six months. I don't, she wasn't always like this.

I don't know what's happened in six months. Maybe she is just truly isolated and doesn't talk to people unless she's interviewed. That may be the case, but it will be, it will be something like, you know, do you think that, what do you think Democrats have to do to avoid, you know, historic losses in the midterms? And she'll say something like, you know, in order to, in order to get people to vote for us, we've got to be the people that we would want to be voted for. Well, Kamala, what are the plan, are you, are you and Brandon planning to use like executive

action to protect contraceptives and, and reproductive freedoms? You know, the thing with the thing with the executive orders is that when it comes to doing them, the most important thing is that you know that they're done. And it's like, yeah, no, yeah. My joke about Kamala and like all of her latest interviews and newest appearances is don't worry women of America, there's still at least one person who's getting their pills through the mail. Yeah.

Yeah. God, remember when they asked her, speaking to how she will like lie about the wrong things. When they asked her about, Hey, you were really critical of Joe Biden's stance on segregation when you were running against him for president, but now you're his VP. Is there, how are you dealing with that, you know, and the critique and she just goes, it was a debate. Yeah. What are you, what are you expecting out of me, I just try to win over here.

Yeah. The thing she, she's, it's almost like she's giving you a riddle. She's like, I will tell the truth in that I will say that I lie about everything. You have to find, you have to find like an identical Kamala who always, I guess, like tells it like lies about telling the truth. And then, and then you can get like a signing statement, I guess. I don't know if it's, if you're on traveler, if you're on traveler wants abortion rights for the, they must answer these questions three.

Now I've got, I've got an identical sister who always lies. So Kamala has this line that she repeats in a lot of speeches that's clearly she's proud of and thinks of as going to be her signature line. And she's talking about what we need to do to, you know, reach our potential as a country or whatever she says. We must have the courage to see what can be unburdened by what has been fire. And she just like, she thinks that's like a Bobby Kennedy style like moment. And it's like, I'm trying to diagram this sentence and it doesn't make any sense.

No, yeah, it is, it is the verbal equivalent of an optical illusion. Yes. It's, it's like a Escher print. Yes. It's like, how did you say a sentence that's a beautiful young woman and an old woman at the same time? You're amazing, Kamala. Is this Kamala Harris statement, a dog or a duck?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, I think we've talked ourselves into it. Run her. I want to see what it looks like. Yeah. Let's fuck it.

Fuck it. Let's go for it. Let's see how nutty we can get with this shit. It would be, it would be, I mean, it would be awesome. It would be, it would be incredible. It would be incredible because she's, she's killing the game right now. Can you imagine anything funnier than Ron DeSantis losing to her? Oh my God.

Fuck. Like they find children in his basement like the day before the election or something. Like there's some sort of like crazy intervention, act of God type deal. It would have to be something like that. It would have to be something like ridiculous. It would, like something we've never seen before. Like a fucking comet takes out like about 200 electoral votes worth of like Republican territory or something.

It would have to be a comet that no one saw coming in conjunction with like a video of him like to raping a child. Yeah. It would have to be both those things. The day of the election. Rust call finds his VHS in the, in the safe at the governor's mansion and broadcasts it right before the election. And he still only loses by like three popular vote points.

Yep. Yep. Yeah. Like 20 electoral points. It's another, just one more thing in the New York Times article here, which is going out and says, John Waldron, a 69 year old registered Republican and retired machinist in Schenectady, New York, voted for Mr. Biden in 2020. Today he said he regrets it and plans to vote Republican in 2024.

I thought he was going to do something for this country, but now he's doing nothing. Mr. Waldron said, like others, he expressed worries about Mr. Biden's age and verbal flubs. On Friday, a clip of Mr. Biden at an event announcing an executive order on abortion went viral when he stumbled into saying, terminate the pregnancy, sorry, terminate the presidency instead of pregnancy. For instance, you ever see him on TV, Mr. Waldron said, comparing the president to zombies.

That's what he looks like. It sounds about right. I mean, it's just, I mean, I don't know, like our, our, our, our Democrat, our, our Biden people, like, are they even trying to claim that he's not seen now anymore? Well, there was just an article in New York Times where they kind of admitted, did you see that guys? Yeah. I don't know the way it was up.

There's just a Times article that was like, claimed dozens of sources in the administration. So these are Biden people who are, who are being frank to like set, to, to admit that there is like some recognition that there is a decline, like they're actually acknowledging decline. There's, but the way that they're phrasing it is they're admitting physical decline to deny that there's been any cognitive decline, you know, but that still is admitting a lot because, Hey, the presidency is a strenuous job. Maybe it shouldn't be to somebody who isn't physically up for it.

It's still like even beyond him being senile, that is a real criticism. They're willing to admit that now from the inside, which means that they're, they're responding. It's just a question of like, uh, is this a negotiated surrender or what's going on? Are they going to fight to the death on this? I don't know. I mean, that does make me think negotiated surrender that it will be like, they'll be like, okay, fine.

We'll like give it up to like, I don't know, gruesome Gavin or JB, but it has to be because like, oh, his health was bad. He's going to have to resign to health concerns. It's going to have to come down to that. Well, I mean, like in terms of like a physical decline for a guy his age, he's pretty spry physically. Like, you know, the clip of him falling off that bike, everyone laughed at, but I mean, he was riding a bike.

I mean, Trump can't, Trump couldn't ride it. Probably never even learned how to ride a bike. Imagine the idea of Donald Trump riding like a fucking Schwinn, like pour it into Lycra. Like, he's, he's got like a bunch of Livestrong bracelets on and he's, he's on a bike. I don't think he could, I don't think he could ride a bicycle. I don't think he's pretty hard to think of. Finishing a bike race and they give him one of those sort of like the, the, like, what is it?

Like the, the, the shiny blankets that they give people after like running a marathon and he just looks like a Chipotle burrito. But that, that is the eerie thing about Biden, like to most other people in his, his age and his mental condition, falling off the bicycle would shatter them into a billion little pieces. True. Yeah. He was okay.

He was fine. He's sturdy. Yeah. But the thing is like, if it's cognitive decline, well, then that indicts the whole thing, you know, it undermines their legitimacy because it all flows from him being like the executive, you know, the guy that we elected to do something, we're acting like that means something, even though he's obviously being let alone by led around by his advisors. And by the way, he's like the fifth president who wasn't actually making decisions that

we've had. It's not like this is unusual. Yeah. No, Reagan by the second term, no, no, no question with Wilson ran the country basically at the end of Wilson's second term. Yeah. I've never seen one start this quickly. Well, yeah, though, this was from the jump and everyone knew that Obama held back as

long as he did for making people consolidate around Biden because he was hoping someone else would catch fire. He was hoping one of those fucking goofs would be able to fucking step up to the moment, but none of them could because the party has lost its ability to create new versions of, uh, of, you know, an appealing electoral symbol. The party, the mummified corpse of the party itself was the only thing that people could agree on. And that's, and when that became apparent, they all reluctantly, Obama reluctantly got

him around him because, and they all knew they knew since before this. That's why they talked him out of running in 2016. Yeah, well, um, does anyone know how to make one of those homemade shotguns? I know I would fuck it up. That's for sure. That's way too tough. Yeah. It's tough.

That's the reason God did not make me a Japanese guy. Exactly. And like the ignition was apparently electrical because there was a battery involved. Yeah. It's like, fuck that. I'm not going to figure that out. That's just out of here. The second you start adding your own electrical source, it's like, okay, we're done here.

Not happening. No, thanks. If it could maybe be like a crossbow or something, just something with a projectile, I could maybe do that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I'm not building anything beyond those IKEA tables where you just grew the screw the legs and I don't think you can kill a president that way.

Not even an ex-president or PM. I mean, you have to be really good at tabletopping. What if you used the sign to Biden, the task of constructing a piece of IKEA furniture? I could imagine him buying doing that. Well, I don't know, yeah. I was skeptical on JB doing what Matt said he'll do, but now it just like, it seems like he has to, you know? It's like it's now or never, buddy.

If you don't have an independent monetary base for a push, you can't do it. It's the only way you can do it. But it's also like the proof is in the pudding. If you do it, if you recognize what time and place it is, it's like, okay, then you're able to win, you're able to win, and you're able to find a way to implement at least some of your vision that allows you to maintain some of your base. If you do not see the opening, you were never the guy and you were never going to be. One thing that he has to worry about is having his shot kind of cockblocked by Gavin, gruesome

Gavin Newsom. Yeah. He could kind of complicate things because he can't compete with JB and money wise, but he can still tap on a significant donor base. I mean, California is, you know, it's a fucking goldmine for these people. So he has that. He has the national network. I mean, he's doing ads.

He's doing troll ads in Florida, but like he could complicate things and make it a little more difficult. Ideally, JB would be able to like kind of tamp him down early by flooding the zone. He's got to spend money. That's the thing. G gruesome Gavin is his most interesting rival. And I think gruesome Gavin has the least play outside of his own field. Absolutely.

He does not play national. Yeah. G gruesome Gavin and JB are like, I mean, like you cannot have people like two, two, two just personages, two characters that are diametrically opposite to one another just in terms of the way they look alone. Oh my God. They are the Laurel and Hardy of the Democratic Party. Yeah.

Yeah. But like maybe they should team up. Maybe that should be the ticket. Like a totally like glassy eyed psychopath. You know, that's the thing. It's like JB has the has sort of a jolly glimmer to him, whereas fucking Newsom is a chilling person. It's like I is blank like shark eyes with the fucking haircut.

My God. Newsom's got to get married though. He's got to get married. Can't be single. He does have to get married already. Okay. Is he married to Jennifer Siebel? Wait.

Is he not married? Is he married? Is he married to Jennifer Siebel? Okay. Ditch her. I don't know where that is. Ditch her. I know he divorced Guilfoyle.

I don't know. He probably did marry again pretty quickly. I don't remember though. No. He's like he's married to that Jennifer lady. I wasn't aware of that. He should ditch her, Kamala should ditch Doug, Newsom and Kamala should get married. Yes.

Dynastic marriage. Yep. Man. I cannot wait for the Doug book one day. That's an interesting story. That's like, that is like, he wanted a lannister move. I consider it more like, I don't know, it was like, he was the best at bundling in like Beverly Hills and they're like, guess what you get to do, Doug, you get to loan your

family to Kamala and he was like, oh boy, that's absolutely what happened by the way. 100%. They absolutely just rented this Oaf. And he's thrilled. He loved. It was a great time. Yeah. I get to meet so many interesting people.

Yeah. He's like, when he married Kamala, when they like gave him the assignment, he's like, oh my God, I'm going to meet Paul Pagala. And now, absolutely no talent done of a daughter gets a fashion career. So I don't have to pay for her to live in Bushwick. She can make her own money now because people are buying her like decorative doily, whatever like cod pieces or whatever the hell she makes. To dress like Oscar the Grouch.

If you were like 25 and you're like 62 year old dad got married again to like a 57 year old, would you be like, oh, that's my mom? I don't think I would, but you know, good for Doug. That would be a tough one for me to swallow, I think. Tough sell. Good for Doug though. Doug is the real winner in all of this, isn't he? Doug is just happy to be here.

He really is. He seems delighted. Yeah. So that really does make, that makes Doug Gauls. Doug is Gauls. I think Doug, just like, I think he's just, like you said, like he's the best at bundling. So like now he gets to be, he gets to be the stud that gets slutted out by every democratic woman who needs, who needs, who needs him and not slutted out in like a sexual sense,

but just slutted out in a spiritual one. Oh, he is spiritually slutted, slutted from windows to the floor. I think, I think Doug would have a better shot against like a DeSantis or Trump than Kamala Wood. So you could make your Jewish man. Doug Emhoff. Doug Emhoff. He's more like, he has a, he has a natural amyability.

Yeah. Doug Emhoff, Doug Emhoff getting slutted out. I've taken 20, I've taken 20 luncheons to the face and I still haven't met, met Paul Vagala. Yeah, Paul, but yeah, man, he, he was like, you can rent my family as long as I can meet my hero, Tony Qualo. What a life. All right.

I think we should wrap it up there for the show once again, just wishing, wishing the best to the spirit of Shinzo. It was, you know, he returns to the realm of ghosts and wind. Yes. And then he comes back in the form of a wily fox creature. He has already been resurrected into an anime. He's now living, he's now in an anime reality. We are getting word, we are getting word that Shinzo Abe has resurrected too many times

and now dragon rot is spreading throughout Japan, like in Sekiro. All right, gang, until next time, bye, bye, everybody. Bye.