Chapo Trap House - 652 - Live in Portland: Is America Burger? feat. Bill Oakley (8/8/22)

Episode Date: August 9, 2022

Live from the Aladdin Theater in beautiful Portland, Oregon! Chapo is joined by our Women’s Auxiliary Unit of Kath Krueger & Amber Rollo and America’s #1 treats connoisseur Bill Oakley to discuss the issues of the day. Topics include: Portland’s phallocentric history, Alex Jones’ legal losses, Nancy Pelosi’s trip to Taiwan, and the recent victory for abortion rights in Kansas. Plus: can women find true fulfillment through becoming landlords? AND: a roundtable discussion of fast food culture in America featuring a tasting menu of local Portland delicacies selected by Mr. Oakley himself. Truly a value sized show! Dates + Tickets for our live shows (including the Ft. Lauderdale show now rescheduled to 10/30) are here: https://www.chapotraphouse.com/live

Ladies and gentlemen, Large Sun's Productions is proud to present the Dukes of the Ducons. The original Sultans of Slander, the original Kings of Content. Put your hands together for Chappo Trappow. Portland, Oregon, keep it going, keep it going. All right, Aladdin Theater, Portland, Oregon. It is great to be back here in the beautiful city of Portland in the wonderful Pacific Northwest of the United States. What do you guys say? We have not done this in a while.

Yeah, still a little rusty. All right, I'll take initiative. We're honored to be here in the world capital of men who accuse women of abuse for breaking up with them. It's great to be here in Portland. We got in last night, went out for a meal in town in Portland. This is also the capital city of no one wants to work anymore. No one wants to work anymore. No one wants to work anymore.

There's about four waiters working in the entire city. And worse than that, every other place I got to stand at least 10 feet away from or else apparently you're going to call the cops. I don't know, you know, the sign, 10 feet, no racism. That's the thing. It's adorable. Well, I mean, as long as you stand outside the 10 foot radius, it's fine in the city. But no, we went through it. We went to Durham last night, this place, and right across the street there was sort of what I'm told is a house that's like a collective of bike messengers. And they were all getting ready to organize a bike messenger bike race.

It was extremely fucking Portland. I felt we were in the right place. An entire house full of pucks from the real world. What's even like, who uses a fucking bike messenger now? Like, I feel like that's only for spies. What kind of shitty country sends their spies to Portland? That's what you do if you're one of the cabbage countries that isn't Russia. We need a guy with a sleeve tattoo to get these nuclear launch codes across town in less than a half an hour.

No, so we were out there. The one side of the street is like a string of very trendy restaurants that were all just like, please don't come here. We can't serve you food. And right across the street was a house full of cool people with tattoos hanging out, riding bicycles, and I was just thinking like, for the Portland restaurant industry, I think it really needs to take a page from the British Navy and just start chang-hying and gang pressing. So like, if you're in Portland and you have like cool tattoos, you just like get knocked out and you wake up and you're just like chained to an espresso machine.

You're like, you're a barista now, asshole. Get used to it. If you have time enough to swerve, you have time enough to serve. Well, whoever loses the worst version of the Warriors that you guys have been doing since like 2015, whoever loses that should have to work in restaurants. The Frisbee Golf Furies. Yeah, we know that the proud guys, they love cereal. They could work in one of those restaurants where you pay $17 for like a boutique cereal. That's a very Dennis Leary joke.

Oh, what do you have, a fucking $35 cereal latte? Seriously, seriously, let's help firefighters though. How about some cereal flavored cereal, okay? Yeah, how about when you went to a restaurant, you got toast and eggs. Now you go and you get a thing of parsley and a land acknowledgement. Well, Portland, I wanted to begin tonight's show by sharing with you guys some things I've learned about Portland. We did a deep historical dive into the city of Portland and perhaps I'm sharing with you stuff you already knew about the city that you live in. But, you know, I'm from New York, so let me teach you about history and the part of the country you live in.

Like Eustace Tilly, we'll break it down for you over here. Mr. Upper West Side. I mean like no one's from here, the only people who are like from Oregon are people who, like, I'm sorry, what, I'm sorry. They are sawing your ass in Lumberjack Twitter after that one. No, no, no, those are the only people who were born here are people who are like a member of a militia that prints its own money. No, no, New York and L.A. are the same way, but like, yeah. Well, Portland, would you believe that in the early days of Portland, when it was just sort of like a fledgling city, early Portland was not unlike our listenership in this audience.

I'm reading here from a history book. The town that Mayor O'Brien and his successors tried to govern was more like a giant fraternity house than a real community. Three-quarters of the 805 residents recorded in the 1850 census were male. Nine-tenths of all Portlanders in their 20s were men, attracted by jobs in road and building construction. Well, that's not true. That's where it breaks down. Actual employment, doing a thing. When young Elizabeth Miller and four other schoolteachers from New England passed through the town in 1851 on the way to New Posts in Oregon City,

Miller reported that the one-sided community was exceedingly interested. She speculated that the entire population must have crowded the wharf for a look. Another woman commented with Tursley that Portland was, quote, rather gamey. I know it smelled crazy in there. Personally, it smelled bad back then. It had to be really bad. I believe, though, just like nearly almost a century later in the early 20th century, that Portland Clue-Cluck's clan, so quite a lot of them out here in the Pacific Northwest, wouldn't you know it,

faced a similar problem. There's the famous, the number one clan leader from Oregon history. It was a man named Ruben Sawyer, and I'm just going to read again from this history book. As he had an Anglo-Israelism, I will explain that in a second, Sawyer combined the lecture platform with organizing activities. The Oregon clan leader, Fred Gifford, was anxious to make a place for women in the all-male organization. So I was like, you know, sort of similar. How do we get some dames to be involved in the Clue-Cluck's clan?

And the answer was, in the summer of 1922, they founded a women's auxiliary. Ladies of the Invisible Empire, known as Lotties, he placed, Gifford placed Ruben Sawyer at its head. Sawyer ran Lotties and wrote its rituals until sometime in 1923 or 1924. I know Sawyer was running Lotties like at the damn Navy. When he had a falling out with Gifford, possibly over division of the organization's substantial revenues. In any case, in 1924, Lotties was dissolved, replaced by a new women's organization headed by Gifford's wife, and Sawyer disappeared from clan affairs.

So perennial problem here in the Pacific Northwest, and for podcasts, how do we get women interested in podcasting and white supremacy? Which some people would argue are sort of similar things. Did people try getting them back together like the Ramones? They're like, you know, I know you guys fell out, but you created a great clan together. I like the idea that it's basically like an anime con. We got these cool costumes, but the chicks aren't into it. What do we do?

I mean, that is like an age-old problem. How do you get women involved in your ethno-nationalist thing? And Israel solved it, you know? By being like, look, we have the golden hour over here. You can be in the army, and fuck a bunch of 13-year-olds that look like Jerry Ferrara. So they support Israel when they're adults, and they work at Wachtel Lipton. And the modern reactionary movements, they haven't really solved it. It's tough, because you get the guys together to bitch about women,

and then it's like, all right, you know who's like women, but, you know, skin color-wise? Other races. It's difficult. Speaking of which, I made reference to Anglo-Israelism, and Ruben Sawyer also sort of, I don't know if you've ever listened to a recent show where we were talking about Andrew Yang's forward party, and one of Felix's forward-thinking ideas was creating, who are the new Jews, who are the real Jews, how do you figure that out?

Well, Ruben Sawyer had an idea in the 20s, and I was reading here, it says, in his first clan address in Portland, he spoke about the Jewish question. He began by distinguishing those Jews who are of the true lineage and faith of their father Judah from objectionable Jews, persons who have usurped an ancient and honorable title. These objectionable Jews are not of the same mental and spiritual caliber as their erstwhile co-religionists. Non-objectionable Jews rarely make the flight logs. Sawyer even speculated that true Jews would be qualified to join the clan if only Christian rituals were not there to inadvertently offend them.

So just cut out the Christmas tree, Easter, things like that. So we're going to open it up to the true Jews if we only get rid of Christmas. It says here, Sawyer also addressed the issue of a Jewish conspiracy, or as he put it, a government within our government. So big problem for the clan, not enough women, not enough Jews involved in it. And for the last bit of Portland history, I'm jumping ahead to the modern era. Now let me ask you guys, do we have any 90s kids in the house? All right. And how many of y'all remember the classic educational video game, Oregon Trail?

So here's a question. What happened to Oregon Trail? Like how did it go from being a delightful history-based educational computer game that nearly every school kid in America played to basically just disappearing? That and where in the world is Carmen Sandiego, you know, math munchers? Maybe speaking in teaches typing. Carmen Sandiego trained a generation of mentally ill men to find women from Twitter by their apartments reflecting in their eyeballs and selfies. It taught them that that's okay to do.

Easily tangentially related to Portland and Oregon, but, you know, Oregon Trail is, that's how I learned about this state. So the answer to the question, what happened to the delightful children's computer game, wholesome educational content, Oregon Trail, what happened to it? The answer is a favorite of us on this show, our favorite pastime to do in hotel rooms when we're on tour. That's right. Mr. Wonderful, Kevin O'Leary of the show Shark Tank, happened to Oregon Trail. I'm just going to read here. It says, eventually this sort of profits over product mindset

infected the learning company itself in the form of O'Leary, whose company Soft Key Software Products Incorporated acquired the learning company in 1995 for $606 million. I just like, this is really how, you know, like the acceleration of capitalism. A wholesome firm called The Learning Company is bought out by a company called Soft Key Software Products Incorporated. Fuck your learning. Pay me my money.

Soft Key's business model involved taking existing software and repackaging it for the shelves of big box retailers like Walmart rather than more niche computer specific retailers. With a less computer savvy customer base, these retailers were less interested in the quality of the games and more concerned with low prices and flashy packaging. The end result was that O'Leary spent a lot of resources making sure the learning company's games had Scooby-Doo on the box.

Well, do you think that he like, he played Oregon Trail and he got to the part where like, one of the members of your party can die in a boating expedition? And he was like, oh, what the fuck? I got to say like, I can't get on my high horse about this because I of course played Oregon Trail. I'm, you know, right there, the Oregon Trail generation. And all I gave a shit about was shooting the buffalo.

You give a fuck about anything else? Oh, you got to buy heart attack, fuck you, I'm buying bullets. Oh, you got to worry about, oh, what do you got to cock the wagon? Fuck you, I'm buying bullets so that I can murder and you shoot four buffalo and they're like, you can't take any more meat. Fuck you, I want to shoot as many goddamn fucking buffalo as I can. Well, that's very educational because indeed,

that's what the people who settled in did the West did. Get out the fucking caboose of a train and just shoot them from sitting there. Drive by on the single largest biomass on the planet. Got the chopper. So yeah, no, it's like, they replaced the wholesome educational product of Oregon Trail with a Scooby Doo dies of dysentery. I don't know.

Scrappy Doo found dead in Miami. They should have turned it into like just a doom level. Where you're just like wasting buffalo and squirrels. Remember the squirrels? The squirrels were the hardest ones to shoot because they were small. And then there was the deer that were right in between. No humans, that was the real problem with Oregon Trail. It's like, look, we're beating around the bush here.

Let me kill a person. They, like this is, we're talking about the settling of America, right? Like killing people was like very key to that happening. Well, they could have done like a historically accurate thing with Scooby Doo where they like, you know, they, all right. Look, I mean, off of what you told me, you know, move it up a little bit to the, you know, 1800s and they captured the rabbi and they pull his mask off.

And it's like, oh, it was a regular white person. Oh, okay. I would have got away with it. It wasn't for you meddling Lotties. But yeah, basically, Kevin O'Leary, Mr. Wonderful did what he does. Basically like, you know, every capitalist does anything they buy. He just, quote, he just came in, bought a bunch of companies, scaled them back and laid off all of the good people.

So that is what happened to Oregon Trail. It's the show Shark Tank happened. Now, would you buy Oregon Trail if you want Shark Tank? What if I was pitching you a game where you have to forward a river? I would say I will do it. I will fund this if we turn it into a immersive VR simulator where I get to strangle woodland creatures with my bare hands. So that does it after our tour through.

I hope you enjoyed that very edifying tour through Portland History. I mean, there was other accounts of the first British person who discovered it, but discovered it, I mean, claimed for England. He just was like, this place sucks, and then got him to Bowdoin, planted a flag, and then went back to England. Even pirates found the Pacific Northwest a bit dreary. But we're here now, I think it's a great point. You guys know about the coin toss, right?

Yes. About how they were deciding, are we going to name it after, there were two cities in the east that they were going to name it after, Portland or Boston, and they just flipped a coin, and then they came up Portland. Imagine if you guys- You guys dodged a fucking bullet, I'll tell you that. Holy shit.

Imagine, imagine if this was Boston, Oregon. Just soak in that for a minute, what that would mean for you people. Let's move on now from ancient history to the present day. And the first news item of this week that I'd like to discuss tonight's show is of course Nancy Pelosi starting World War III with her trip to China. And by China, I mean Taiwan. Ben Garrison still got it, folks. Okay, so she's going to Taiwan, and by the way,

the Biden administration told her not to do this? I mean, they say that in public, but who knows what they were saying in private. Like, oh no, don't go to Taiwan, Nancy. Cause like, I can imagine if I'm Brandon and I'm like, oh, I'm either going to die or lose reelection. Having everyone be killed in a nuclear holocaust, including me, is a preferable alternative to that. Because then I don't have to worry about anybody being around

and making fun of me afterwards. Well, that would be like a good like weepy Irish bullshit thing to go out on, right? Like, oh, I finally became president. My son had to die. I'm senile. Everyone saw my other son's cock and asshole after. Like, we tried to make it illegal to post it, but then you were just able to do it. And then I was the president when the world like nuked itself 50 times over.

And Ireland literally was wiped off the map. Well, I mean, in retaliation, it's a string for today's New York Times, at least 11 Chinese missiles struck C's north, south and east of Taiwan on Thursday. Less than 24 hours after speaker Nancy Pelosi celebrated the island as a bulwark of democracy next to an autocratic China. The People's Liberation Army declared its missiles all precisely hit their targets, even as Japan said five landed in its waters. Well, maybe that's what...

Well, who's to say they missed? But did Paul Pelosi go on this trip? That's all I want to know. Because before Congress opens an investigation into analyzing stock sales, so stock buys and sales by members of Congress's family, obviously, so someone made this up, but I'm thinking it's like Pelosi and Paul on the plane, and then it's like the People's Liberation Air Force is closing in,

and Nancy goes to Paul, like, Bane. She's got the Bane mask on. No, Paul. They expect to find one of us in the wreckage. No, I don't think he went. I think he's tooling around the highways and byways of California. He's got the blue shell. He's dropping banana peels behind him. He's shooting turtle shells at the cars that won't move.

That's what the Napa Sheriff's Department should do, is really like, okay, we're either going to execute you or you can go on a one-man-dirty-dozen mission to drunk drive all over Shanghai. We're going to give you a fifth of vodka, and then we're going to get you behind the wheel right when President Xi is leaving an event and just cross our fingers that you just fucking paced him.

He can be like a force multiplier. He's like when special forces guys go into countries and teach guys how to be soldiers, he'll teach the Chinese freedom fighters how to drunk drive, and he'll have gladio weapons caches of white claws and cars with massive blind spots hidden in forests. We got plenty of those. Well, I'm just like, I just actually got here from Idaho,

and we got some Idahoans in the house. Let's go. Idaho's? Idaho's? I don't, okay. Don't correct me, okay? I have the microphone. Okay, all right.

I was going to pay the state of compliment, but now I won't. No, I'm just like, I'm glad I was in Idaho when this story was really kicking off, because I was thinking like, do I want to be in the middle of New York City right now? Maybe, probably not. All right, let's move on to our next story.

This was a big story this week. It just concluded today. I'm talking, of course, about Alex Jones's ace attorneys. Phoenix Wright. This trial just concluded today. Alex Jones was ordered to pay $4.1 million to the Sandy Hook parents. I mean, apparently he makes that about every week, so.

But to be honest, we all saw the hilarious footage from the trial yesterday where he was told under cross-examination that his own lawyers managed to accidentally send the prosecution all of his text messages and emails. So, at one point during these trials, he had this attorney who was like a normal evil attorney who was good at hiding shit and hiding money.

And then he just abruptly fired him and went through five more attorneys before arriving at this guy. And this guy, the key to this guy is that he was a former assistant U.S. attorney, which is why he thinks that the judge works for him. And that he doesn't, like, none of the evidence counts. Well, I mean, okay, there's a number of ways

you can look at this story, because, like, even funnier than the fact that they accidentally sent, like, all the stuff that they didn't comply with in discovery to the prosecution, the prosecutors followed up and they were like, is this privileged? And they were like, did it respond? Or were just like, no, it's fine.

I didn't open the attachment, don't know what it is, but yeah, it's probably okay. So, yeah, it says here, the messages were apparently sent an error to the family's lawyers by Mr. Jones's legal team. Mr. Jones, did you know that 10 days ago, your attorneys messed up and sent me an entire digital copy of your entire cell phone

with every text message you've sent for the past two years? I would love to see, like, an audit, just like an infographic of the most commonly used emojis in Alex Jones's text trove. The text messages were significant because Mr. Jones had claimed for years that he had searched his phone for texts about Sandy Hook cases and found none.

You know what perjury is, right? Mr. Bankston asked Mr. Jones, who indicated that he did. The disclosure of the text provided a striking capstone to the final day of testimony in a trial to determine how much Mr. Jones must pay the parents of a child who died in the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut for broadcasting conspiracy theories

that the shooting was a hoax and the families were actors. The jury began deliberating late Wednesday. So, there's a number of ways you can look at this. And is it possible? I'm just, like, you know, I'm just speaking here, you know, but is it possible that the deep state in an effort to entrap Alex Jones honeypotted him into hiring my cousin Vinnie?

Or did Jones's attorneys accidentally send this... the information that was, you know, they were compelled to do through discovery, did they accidentally send that to the prosecution because they didn't want to lose their law license when it came out that they were helping this ham-faced moron lie his ass off in court? Or, in another way, look at it,

a stunning assault on free speech and a presage of things to come. Because, you know, I mean, what is free speech? Free speech is, you know, lying, right? Perjury is a form of free speech, and I think it should be protected. Well, those have been my favorite posts, because, like, for the most part,

everything on the internet is just, you know, they're, like, not touching this. Like, it just looks too bad. But, like, I've seen a few ambitious soldiers go out there and go, this is exactly what it was like when Stalin went after people. There were kangaroo civil trials

where Stalin tricked his opponents into hiring bad lawyers. Or, like, or... Or, is this a sort of, like, 12-dimensional chess move by Alex Jones, Wiley Coyote, that he is, to then claim, and then appeal on the grounds of, appeal for, like, a mistrial, or appeal for, like, a retrial based on the idea that he didn't have

competent legal representation. Now, speaking to someone who was sued for $100 million in a libel case, I'm not a legal expert. I didn't go to law school, but I don't think you can claim competent lawyers because they accidentally complied with discovery.

Like, what's the argument here? That I was incompletely represented because my lawyers refused to break the law for me? Yeah, that's your... You're supposed to do whatever your client wants you to do, including, yeah, go to jail. You also, like, you forfeit a lot of things when, like, it's in default,

which, like, that's what happened because he just didn't show up to the other case. So, like, all around a pretty good strategy. I think he was claiming that he wanted to pay the family's, like, $1 or the family $1 or $8, I think. But then, like, a lot of stuff that came out in this trial was really funny because there was... The comment that Alex Jones made

that referred to the jurors on his case as blue-collar people who didn't know what planet they were on. And I think that really just gets to the heart of, like, the grift. The pure grift here with Alex Jones is that, you know, speaking to, like, you know, like the normal people, but then when those normal people are on a jury, they're like, these guys, they're goblins, they're stupid, they don't know what the hell's going on.

But also, there was... There were also emails that came out in the trial about how he was literally saying, like, gross food equals money. About his, like, prepper buckets that he sell. It was apparently making a hundred grand a week selling. A day. A hundred grand a day.

It was a hundred grand a day on survival buckets, yeah. Because the margins on those things are insane, because, like, it's stuff you could just go and get at a grocery store for, like, a pallet... Like, you get a pallet of rice for, like, $5, and they would sell it to you in a bucket for, like, you know, $50. It's amazing. And then there was also a moment where,

under cross-examination, he started... He appeared to, like, he started to pitch the jury on his brain medicine. And he was like, this is incredible stuff. We get it from Japan. This is, you know, top of the line market for Neutropics. So he... One of my favorite moments is,

he didn't prepare enough to come to court in a fake neck brace. But he had the... He had the next best thing, which was, like, a nervous fake cough that he would do every time, like, his lawyer's, like, fucked up in some way. And during a recess, he was doing the bullshit cough. And one of, like, you know, one of the, like,

poor parents whose kids died went up to him and, like, gave him a bottle of water and, like, tried to talk to him. And it ended with Alex Jones going, like, you're autistic. You're neurodivergent. You need the puzzle piece on your car. I just think that, yeah, it's like, yeah, sure.

Anti-establishment, I agree. You know, get people questioning the official narratives. Absolutely. They're all full of shit. But, like, as soon as it's... That is connected to, please buy these sawdust pills. These... This literal snake oil. And it's like, well, maybe, I don't know. Like, do you really want to end the rule of the goblins?

Because then, how the hell are you going to make a hundred grand a day selling fucking bullshit to people? Yeah. Like, do you really... Oh, yeah, you're going to live in a cooperative farm? That's your dream instead of living in a giant, disgusting McMansion where you're just shoving raw meat in your face all day because some fucking rubes bought your bullshit fucking patent medicines?

There's no difference between what Alex Jones wants, like, in his personal life or his family, and, like, what Jamie Dimon wants, or, like, the real guy that Ari Gold is based on. There's no difference. There's no... Like, it's... If Alex Jones' son wasn't, like, following his path of yelling, you know, he'd be, like, getting recommendations

from his, like, Montessori school yarn ball coach to go to Tufts or some shit. It's, like, yeah, no. No guy who has, like, hundreds of millions of dollars wants any fundamental change. Yeah, the other funny bit for the trial that I noticed was, like, it was, like, a court reporter, like, a journalist in the court,

and they were describing, like, an interaction between Alex Jones and the judge where, like, out of context, like, their tweet was like, the judge has just said to Alex Jones, Mr. Jones, I don't want to see the inside of your mouth again. And there's a person replying going, this shows clear bias on behalf of the judge.

To treat him like that, it shows a clear bias telling him to shut his mouth that he can't even open a mouth to defend himself. And then, like, the journalist replied and said, no, this was literal. Alex Jones was trying to show her his molar. As an excuse for why he was chewing gum in court, he said he had some sort of, like,

mouth pain that he needed to chew gum for. He was like, I'll just show you right now. And he was like, no, I don't want to see your disgusting maw gaping at me. Easter egg, though. I'm not kidding. The guy who said that, who said this shows clear bias, is Keith Reneer's lawyer.

Are you serious? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keith Reneer is Portuguese lawyer. That's how you know he's evil. What kind of man would think to get a lawyer from Portugal? My lawyer's pulling up to the courthouse in a galleon. I'm going to jail. I'm going to be sentenced to galley service after this.

My lawyers build a bunch of paella on the bailiff. They're going to seal me in a cask of Madeira after this. Is your lawyer wearing one of those, like, billowy, salar shirts, playing some bullshit mandolin instruments? Decreciao, they gave me 20 to life. Oh, no. I wonder how he thought to do that. There's probably some, like, bullshit reason where he's like,

everyone's telling me to get, like, just, like, a Jewish guy or, you know, some wasp, but, like, you know, they took over the world, like, per scale of their country. They did touch about their way. They really did. I need a lawyer from a country where they sleep for four hours during the workday. Yeah.

It's a country like the size of fucking Des Moines, and they had slaves until, like, 1997. They really did have, like, that, like, you know, work smarter, not harder approach. Yeah. Moving on to the next news story on our lineup. We were talking a little bit earlier about Paul Pelosi and his blue shell.

Well, he fired it, and it hit Indian Representative Jackie Walorsky and two of her staffers yesterday. So this from the AP where the accent was originally reported. It says, Republican U.S. Representative Jackie Walorsky was killed Wednesday in a car crash in her northern Indiana district, along with two members of her congressional staff

and another person, police said. The crash happened at about 12.30 p.m. when a car crossed the center line on the State Highway and collided head-on with the SUV Walorsky was riding in. No, that was wrong. That was correct. No, I'm going to go with the update here. Police have changed their description of the crash

that killed Indiana Representative, Republican U.S. Representative Jackie Walorsky, saying Thursday that it was the SUV in which she was the passenger that crossed the State Highway's center line and caused the head-on collision. Yeah. It's like, what happened, but I understand. I think I know what happened.

So, like, she's Polish, as we know. And what happened was is that they were trying to change the dome light and, you know, shit happens. RIP. I mean, like, I think that, look, if I'm a betting man, which I am,

and I want to make the safe bet, it's like, yeah, I agree with you. Like, she's some, you know, stupid fucking, you know, descendant of somebody who charged with German Panzer with a horse. That's probably how she died, okay? She was one of those people

who was like, oh, oh, I'm the certifying the election because of servers, you know, not a smart person. But, okay, this is literally kind of what happens in the song There's a Light That Never Goes Out. Do you think that she had

a crush on the two younger staffers? Perhaps? And she was afraid to make a move and she was like, oh, I should just kill myself. Yeah, like, they're driving at like,

the hot young staffers behind the wheel. She's in the passenger seat. She's like saying, so what are you guys doing tonight? And they're like, you know, we're going to go home. It's like, oh, you don't want to get a drink. And they're like, yeah, not really. And there's just like an awful long pause and then she just grabs the wheel.

I would rather die than drive the rest of the way in this silence. Yeah, yeah, dying the arms of your staffers would be such a heavenly way to die. Yeah, people were like, oh, yeah, you think this is funny? Her 27 and 28-year-old staffers were killed.

And it's like, I think that's like a 27 and 28-year-old who would like work for this piece of shit. A 27 and 28-year-old child, sir. No, those are grown-ass adults. Just a little bit of background here. Walorsky, who served on the Houseways

and Means Committee, was first elected to represent Indiana's Second Congressional District in 2012. She previously served six years in the state's legislature. She has returned home to be with her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Please keep her family and your thoughts and prayers Walorsky's Chief of Staff, Tim Cummings,

said in a statement. Walorsky and her husband were previously Christian missionaries in Romania. Okay, okay. Wait a minute. They're already Christian. She's a fucking track of us. What are you doing? That jar has already been opened. What are you talking about? Yeah, I'm going to go spread

Islam and Kuwait. Fucking dumb family. Well, okay. It's not just about spreading, you know, the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They established a foundation that provided food and medicine, food and medical supplies to impoverished children. She's, I think she was supplying

blood to Castle Dracula. She was supplying, she was supplying impoverished children, i.e. medical supplies to Vlad the Impaler. She worked as a television news reporter in South Bend before turning to politics.

She was also well known for her pro-life advocacy. So, owned. Honestly, it's like, oh, oh. You're pro-life? Well, why are you dead? She's a little

hypocritical. You can tell that this person was just like a fucking non-entity. Just like nothing. Just a hum of white noise near the coffee maker. Because all the comments that I've seen from other reps after her death are like, she was

just so, like, happy. Like a bullet in a string. No stories, no anecdotes. Nothing. The honorable representative from Indiana crossed the rainbow bridge today. They took, they fucking, they talked about her

like she was one of those fucking overfed labradors that leaves a patch of grease on every couch they sit on. Then finally dies when it's 13. She was always so happy to see you. Yeah. Her tail was, like, really strong, I guess.

She finally figured out a way to get to the top of the shelf and got that dark chocolate. All right. She could chase a ball for hours. Just like, one of those people looked like zero qualities. Like, and the, like, only aspect to her personality

is, like, yeah, she wanted to force women to die giving birth. And, like, yeah, spread Christianity in Romania. Those are, like, everything else is just, like, just nothing. Just blank. Romania! Oh, no! If you talk to her, you hear

the sound of when you put airpods in, but your phone isn't airpods. Which is, like, non-existent. Which is why, and that is why they did not give her the, like, elite lizard people shield that all of, like, the top

ghouls have. Like, nobody in, like, the Senate or in a high position in the house is going to dine a car crash. If they went across the median, the other car would just, like, explode 20-mark away from them. And, like, and they wouldn't even, nobody would even see it. It would

be, like, cloaked, like a fucking Klingon and they wouldn't even know what happened. We were talking about this backstage and it's, like, yeah, like, if you're Paul Pelosi or any member of the U.S. Senate, you, like, you have, like, the shields that they have in Dune, or, like, you can get in a car accident at, like, 15 miles

an hour, but the slow bend, the slow fender penetrates the shield. If you slam into a concrete divider in 90 miles an hour, it just bounces off. It bounces off in, like, a fucking room. You're just annihilating everybody and no one will know what happened.

That's how Aubrey McClendon died. He was, like, he wanted to see if he was still in the NWO. And he found out. Yeah. He was like, no, they rescinded that shit. Well, this is actually a good pairing with this story is,

when pro-life leader dies, one state comes through. What's the matter with Kansas? Not much recently. Kansas voters turned out in droves to reject the first anti-abortion

ballot measure in the post Roe v. Wade era and dealt a major warning sign to Republicans hoping the drastic curtailing of abortion rights nationwide won't dent their prospects in 2022 midterm elections. Amendment 2 was pushed by anti-abortion activists and would have eliminated

the right to abortion and government funding for abortion under the Kansas Constitution and over 900,000 votes counted as of 11.30 a.m. Eastern Time Wednesday. No was trouncing yes by 59 to 41% a gaping 18-point margin.

I mean, more than anything, though. This really reminds you, like, damn, those Democrats are really good. Like, to take those, to take those, like, fundamentals, those underlying realities of, like, where people actually are on major issues

like absolutely shitting the bed and being unelectable in two-thirds of the country, it's like, yeah, damn, that takes real hustle. Yeah, respect. Like, look at, like, the congressional delegation for Kansas. It's like, oh, Nathan Bedford Forrest 2.

That's the first district. I hate you, yeah. It's like, it's like the grandchildren of, like, Operation Paperclip people. Yeah. There's, like, a guy who, like, participated in Unit 731 somehow.

165-year-old Japanese surgeon. Like, sewed people together. They're like, oh, generally a Chicago from Kansas' beautiful fifth district. Uh, there's one other article to say.

To say that the movement to ban abortions in Kansas has been fueled by the Catholic Church is no overstatement. The Sunflower State Journal noted several main funders. The archdiocese of Kansas in Kansas City gave approximately 2.5 million to the campaign this year. Last year it contributed close to

500,000. The Catholic Diocese of Wichita contributed 550,000 this year, and the Kansas Catholic Conference added another 275,000. And that's to say nothing of the pope. The real pope. Oh, the guy from Kansas who just died. He lived in Kansas. He died like a day before the election.

I don't think that that's a coincidence. Oh, yeah, his force field ran out. Oh, yeah. That sucks. Uh, but like, I mean, I guess like just thinking about this and just like, this fucking med ballad measure lost by 20 points. Which isn't like, is there any election

in anywhere, even in like blue, deeply blue in red states, that is, the margins are that wide. To win by over to win by over 10 points in anything is like considered an unheralded landslide. And it just makes you wonder like, what if you could just like, what if we could just vote directly

on it, rather than this like middle men of these awful democratic party politics. It's like a national referendum to like, should we have Medicare for all or not? Get these fucking losers out of the way. Jesus Christ. But I gotta say, I mean, aside from the part about like,

I mean, it's shocking to me that Catholic Church spent all those millions of dollars not on social services for women who are pregnant or building you know, if they didn't spend that money, it was on the ballot measure. It was gonna have to go towards victims of abuse.

And like, that's just like throwing it down the toilet. But there's been some, what the kids these days call COPE from the anti-abortion people in this country, including one of my favorites, a guy we saw speak at CPAC years ago,

Matt Schlapp. Matt Schlapp. Matt Schlapp. The sound of balls hitting an ass. Matt Schlapp. Matt Schlapp's take on this was basically that the ballot was worded in such a confusing manner that his mouth-breathing pro-life voters

were too fucking confused by it. And they were like, uh, do we support abortion? No. Click the box with no on the amendment. They don't know no matter. Yeah. And there's one that's like one of these annoying like, you know, theology people. I just like, I just

wanted to quote from him, his reaction to this. He says, seeing crimes and even anger from fellow pro-lifers about the result from Kansas last night. On the one hand, this reaction makes good sense. Kansans are very pro-life and in order for their views to be reflected

in the law, the referendum had to pass. It failed 5941. Now, Kansas will become a bastion of abortion extremism, including welcoming abortion tourism from other states. Here's the kick. Abortion tourism, please. Have your abortion

within a sight line of the world's largest ball of twine. Here's the kicker though. He says, including welcoming abortion tourism from other states, virtually no resident wants that. Yeah, not like that. Can you see a problem with what

he's proposing here? Virtually no Kansas resident wants abortion to be legal in its state except for like the 59 to 41% margin that just voted to do exactly that. I don't know, it's just so fucked up.

The amount of power that these people have gives them this, I think they're running into the reality that the illusion they live in where their beliefs are actually broadly popular and not completely vice versa and is only being propped up by our

awful government and constitutional system which gives them a geographically outsized representation in government and the awful Supreme Court. But people like this, this should be fucking evidence for

Democrats that the only issue they should be running on in the midterms is abortion. I know everyone says in polls that inflation and jobs are the number one thing and I'm not saying they're not important or not, but this is a fucking winning issue if they had the balls to really stand up

for what they should believe in and the people protecting. He just says, yeah. Furthermore, didn't Louisiana just pass a similar measure, 61% to 38%? This all seems strange. Does it? It seems strange to you?

I mean, surely they're not unaware of the polling on this issue or they just tell themselves they're like, well, if I ask the poll and another, if I ask like, yeah, do you think that a baby should be tossed into a trash compactor as soon as it's born? Majorities of Americans will say no

to that. By the way, that Louisiana state measure passed before Roe v. Wade was overturned. So I think it's just going to be interesting in the coming years and months to just be like, people who can countenance voting Republicans or voting for anti-abortion candidates

because they or call themselves pro-life or anti-abortion or whatever you want to say, it's going to be interesting like, how much of the people who say that respond in polls, that like, they agree with it. How deep is their commitment when the thing in the back of their mind that just goes, oh, it's a constitutional

right, it'll never go away, is removed? And I think what you're going to find out, especially when a lot of Republican women is they're going to change their tune on this or at least it's going to become a lot realer for them. Well, the problem is that they've spent the last

like 30 years not really doing anything to promote their issues publicly and like, try to get public support. They've just been in like a lab growing like, weird Catholic mutants to fill the federal judiciary.

They've been like, doing a boys for Brazil thing to make like, the fucking, the albino priest from Da Vinci Code and put him on the Supreme Court. And then they did it and succeeded, congratulations. But now you've got like, regular people watching these

like, lit lists, like cave salamanders telling you no more abortions for you, you have to fucking die in a hospital and be like, that sounds bad, no thank you. And they have, they have nothing because they put all their eggs in that basket. Yeah, why do, why do they think

that they accomplish their goals on this issue in like the least elected part of the federal government? Like the least accountable to any elections at all. I mean, not even that, like okay, this issue is so popular that you're saving Brandon.

You guys are winning on this so much they're saving, Brandon is gonna be reelected. We're gonna get a second Brandon term off of this shit. It really does look like that. Yeah, we're gonna see Brandon like evaporate in the sun because of dogs. But it's so like, our

side is so fucking popular. The only like pro-life celebrity I can think of who isn't like a 95 year old actor is Nick Cannon. That's the only guy, because he made like, he made a song where it's like, I'm a baby

don't abort me. If you abort me, I can't do wild and out. That was his phrase, dinosaurs from the 90s. I'm the baby don't abort me. But they just, they have like nothing, they have nothing on this issue and of course like since

so bungler Democrats have been like, yeah no, we can totally never talk about this issue in a national context ever again. It's totally fun. Well, they don't have a choice anymore. Let's see what they do with it. Alright, this is the last bit of good news tonight. I know it's good

that women's rights are being protected in Kansas thanks to Democratic will, but there's even better news coming. And that is according to Bloomberg, podcast guests are paying up to $50,000 to appear on popular shows. First, we miss out on the goddamn

PPP loans. We get zero. And now, we're literally letting these assholes run their mouths for free. They're like a complete fucking dickhead here. Critics call it paola. And listeners deserve better. No, they don't. That is one thing I

absolutely disagree with. If you're listening to podcasts, you deserve what you get. And also if you're making them. People will confess all sorts of things to podcasters from their unpopular political beliefs or embarrassing romantic mishaps

to their worst fears. But there's one revelation certain guests will never disclose, namely that they're paying thousands of dollars to be interviewed on the show. People will confess all sorts of oh, sorry, welcome to the golden era of pay for play podcasting, where guests pay handsomely to be interviewed

for an entire episode. In exchange, the host gets some revenue, fills out the programming calendar, and might bag a future advertiser. In an age when social media influencers routinely get paid for mentioning a brand, an Instagram post, or a YouTube video, this marriage of convenience shouldn't come as a

complete shock. Still, not everyone thinks it's a good idea. As someone who's making money for that kind of advertorial content, it should be disclosed to create Dyslak, a New York based media lawyer. It's just good practice and builds trust with the podcaster. It can't be the Wild West.

U.S. regulators also agree that consumers might be misled when they don't know a media mention only occurred in exchange for compensation. So, look, we've never done this on the show. I think we're a little bit more ethical than that, but look,

I'm going to need to wet my beak just a little bit. So, just like just, you know, advanced warning to you guys tonight, time permitted, we will be doing a meet and greet after the show, come by and say what's up, but the cost to look me in the eye is $10,000.

The cost to ask me a question, $5,000. Me retweeting one of your tweets is, that's $10,000. I will, you know, even if time is permitting, I won't be able to do that because I've come down

with strep throat, but for $125,000, I will give it to you. So, it's boom times for podcasting, and you know, like from now on, I'm sick of being a sucker. We're getting loans from the government and we're charging $50,000 to fucking pop

to come on our show. All right, that brings us to our mission. Please stay seated. We have a couple surprise guests for you in the second act tonight, Portland, Oregon, and Latin Theater. Sang tight, we'll be back after an intermission. Get a drink. We love you guys.

Portland, let's fucking go. We're going to cruise right into the second act of the show. If you'll just give me a moment here. We are starting out the second act of the show with the reading series that I have sourced for you, ladies and gentlemen, this evening.

The reading series is investing in real estate as self-care. Many women seeking independence after a breakup or divorce have discovered emotional empowerment and even healing in real estate investment. Portland, the Latin Theater,

before I start this reading series, we thought that this would be a great opportunity. This is a reading series about girl bosses. We're going to bring out our first slate of two guests in this act. No, three guests, actually.

Our first slate is about girl bossery. Let's bring out two genuine girl bosses. Two thirds of the Chapa Wags division. It's Catherine Krieger and Amber Catherine. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for having us.

I believe these are the first women ever on stage for a Chapa show. What about Little Field Show in 2017 when Elizabeth Early was on stage? I fucked her. Seems like everyone forgot

about that. Seems like we've all conveniently memory-hold that. Normal world. I fucked her first. No checks, notes. Yeah, and then she went to me for a reason.

Ah, yes. You two are the two biggest girl bosses I know. Have other of you invested in real estate recently? Well, after this next break up, once I get through that, I'm really looking forward to joining that

landlord, hashtag landlord life. Amber, Catherine, let's get into this reading series. This is by Jennifer Miller, who wooed for Jennifer Miller? Damn.

I love a woo girl. We're the woo girls in the audience. Woo! Do you ever think about how woo is out backwards? Yo, bro. The sad clown at the heart of every woo girl.

I was distinctly like a male's voice. A man who loves articles. You got a real article at the crowd. I think, no, it was probably one of her classmates from her semester at sea. The article begins.

Rachelle DeVaux was... Okay. Not real. Okay. Made up name. Avoiding taxes. Got it. Rachelle DeVaux was two weeks shy of closing on a house with her partner of ten years when their

relationship imploded. Her future suddenly snapped into focus. She was 30 and had had a successful career as a marketing strategist. Woo! Woo! We love a woman marketer.

She's been dating this man for ten years? Yes. She's with this man for ten years. She's 30. Yo, sus! Sus! You think that's bad? The man is 24.

Y'all aren't ready for that conversation. Yeah. And she tricked this poor boy who she abused into buying a place. Okay. So she was 30 and had had a successful career as a marketing strategist.

But she'd never feel truly secure without a permanent roof over her head. She took a leap in 2019 and bought an investment property, a duplex in Missoula, Montana, intending to live in one unit and rent the other.

It was the crappiest house on the block, she said. But it was what she could afford. I made the decision entirely from a financial standpoint, she said. What I didn't realize was how much confidence and pride and empowerment I'd feel. It had so many tangential benefits

that emotional feeling of I did this and I did this for me. Gatekeep, girl boss, gentrify. I'm surprised. I thought this would be in New York, but she did this in Missoula. She was renting

to a guy who only wears overalls. Looks like a guy who got killed on moonshine. How'd she end up there? Going on it says, investing in real estate or becoming a landlord has inherent stress. You should try dealing with one.

Especially in a volatile market. But many women seeking independence, especially after a breakup or divorce, have discovered emotional empowerment and even healing. They've conquered a steep learning curve often in the face of skepticism and they've found a unique support system

where excising relationship ghosts is as important as learning to negotiate interest rates. Well, first of all, if you're a landlord, I'd like you to excise the actual ghosts in the property you bought before your relationship demons. I'd like you to excise yourself.

Exercise yourself? Exercise? I like that they go, it's a volatile market and it's like, yeah, rent is really volatile. It's up, and then it's up. Then it's up, like, not as much. And then it's up more to make up for that year.

The counter number, you know, I mean, obviously everyone knows the sting of heartbreak and a bad breakup. Other than buying a duplex in Muzilla, Montana, I mean, are there other feelings of empowerment and strategies for coping that you've encountered? You know, I'm about to get divorced.

No, I'm just kidding. This is a good opportunity for me to announce that I'm buying up half of the squats in Portland all in the name of empowerment. Actually, a bunch of you are about to be my... I'm about to be your landlord. It's feminist. It's feminist.

You can't criticize women landlords. I am personally starting a women's section of the KKK. We're called haughtylotties. And we're girl bossing white supremacy.

You're going to need a place to live, though. You're going to need a feeling of security. Well, that's... Katherine's going to be my slumlord. There you go. Will the women's KKK have, like, new stupid names? Like, instead of, like, the Grand Imperial Wizardry?

No, no, no, yeah. We're obviously all witches. Grand Imperial Wizardry. Everyone will have to take a new KKK name that's, like, Riley, but it's spelled with, like, three H's. You know, it's like picking your Catholic confirmation name, but, uh... You get assigned...

All the, like, cells are determined by your, uh, zodiac. You have to take a personality. This is a chapter only for NJs. No, but for real, a real, like, girl bossery thing that I would like to see is, like, girl bosses opening up

abortion clinics. And we could just, you know, have, like, cities where you go to for abortion. Like, instead of hell in Georgia, it's, like, baby kill Kansas. That'd be a property to invest in if you weren't, you know, seeking empowerment for you. Oh, oh, you hate all landlords?

What about landlords at abortion clinics? Ah, not very well now, are we? Continue with the article. It says here, quote, you have a group of women who are really looking to develop themselves personally, said Becky Nova, 38, a cancer

researcher in New York City, who started an organization called Lady Landlords in March 2020. We're not crocheting. We're building generational wealth. She was a cancer researcher. She went in and one day she was like, uh, yeah, I found a cancer. It's me.

You know, she's researching so she can spend, so she can charge, like, $500 for the cure. She works at Susan G. Comet. She's just, like, 90% of all donations go to Pink Merch. Generational wealth is one of those terms, like, platform that they should not have, like,

get out of college. It escaped the confines of classrooms, and now I have to hear it all the time. I don't know what people think it means. Like, they think, like, they think it's, like, just, like, a big bag of money with your face on it.

Oh, it's my family. Like, a generally wealthy person. It's actually a big bag of money with your grandfather's face on it. Uh, women comprise nearly one-third of the membership of the National Real Estate Investors Association, but a decade ago

the women were often part of a wife-husband investor team, said Charles Tassel, the Chief Operating Officer of the Association. Today, the 30% holds, but they're not spouses, he said. There are more single individual women coming in, not remnants of a couple.

Remnants? Like, a meteor hit Earth, and the remnants bought a duplex? The leftovers. You can find the remnants of my relationship somewhere at the bottom of North Atlantic.

I mean, if you think about it in, like, heterosexual relationships, the woman is kind of already the man's landlord of love. Think about that. Thank you. Thank you. Are they all bad? I don't know. I don't know.

Communities designed to support female real estate investors have also seen steady growth. Lady landlords and real estate invest her. Yes. Have engaged Facebook

followings and loyal podcast audiences. Thanks for all the invest her fans here coming out to support us tonight. All right. Like, we've already established that podcast listeners are demented freaks. But if you're listening to a real estate podcast,

you should live in a dog kennel. I I like I do, like, watch podcasts like that just because I love bad podcasts. You're on one. You best not believe in a bad podcast

Felix. Well, I mean, I mean, bad as in, like, you know, the mom, like, rode American Eagle while she was pregnant with the host. Not bad as in, like, just we don't try very hard. But it's just like

it's just like positive aphorisms. It's too just like, you know, cockapoo women who are like, and the thing is, like, if you don't think that you can do it, well, you know, try doing it and then you'll be able to do it. And then it'll be like the clip they put out there

to make you listen to it. I love shit like that. Like the clip I saw yesterday of a woman interviewing a medical intuitive who told her my disease is a gift from outer space that only the most spiritual people are afflicted by.

True. My podcast is now on Patreon. Please subscribe. So it says here, they also host local meetups and annual conferences and offer paid mentoring services. Ms. Novicharges $2,400 for a three month coaching package.

An annual mentorship program with Real Estate Invest Her costs $7,500. Once again, just leave, we're leaving money on the table everywhere. That is such a fucking good. We should

teach a replying class. Oh my god. That's kind of self-serving though. Just improve your replies. Oh no, I'm not going to make them better. No, I'm saying the quality of your replies. No, I'm not. They're going to keep getting,

maybe get like 3% better. But the point is, they're still going to suck and I'll be like, oh, you didn't pay for the super premium. Yeah. Ripmasters the locks. We're going to have terrible replies no matter what. Do we want terrible replies and a boat?

Yes. Yes, we would. In their language and mission, both groups say that taking care of yourself mentally and emotionally is critical to building a successful business. Also having a shit little money to start with is also very

important to building a successful business and buying property anywhere in America. This is like, I mean like there could be no woman Howard Hughes. I'm sorry. Boo. Women do be loving. Keeping piss in jars.

It would be harder to collect the piss in the Mason jars. Girls can do anything, Matt. A white Mason jar? I'm sorry, yes. Women can piss in the fucking Mason jars. I'm an asshole. That's right.

I think like a woman can be just as evil and repacious as a man. But I think like Howard Hughes was special because he was like a walking skeleton. He was like a guy you meet in a real haunted house. The dance excels to you. Elizabeth Faircloth,

44. Co-founder of... None of these are real names. Every one of these names the person interviewed was like looking at a cork board behind the interviewer and just like just pull him shit out of their ass.

Not real. These are names that Patrick Bateman introduces himself with. Lives of their husband in New Hope, Pennsylvania. In 2004, they began investing in real estate together but over the next decade, the financial strain of the recession

and later becoming a mother left her reeling. I started to lose myself. I'm working with my husband... Mom's spaghetti started showing up on my sweater. I'm working with my husband and building a business but trying to figure out my identity as a new mom and married woman, she said.

In 2015, she connected with Andresa Guidelli. That is a real name. A Brazilian immigrant who lived in Chestnut Hill, Pennsylvania. The women soon joined forces flipping dozens of properties and building new construction. By 2017, over chats at Panera Bread,

they began talking about creating their own women-led group for female peers. So that name is like... It's sort of like a misdirect, right? Because it's pretty normal sounding but then you realize it's Brazilian. And that's weird

for a Brazilian name. Her name is supposed to be like Josueta de Moeller Garinio Jr. Well, it's an Italian-Brazilian name which, you know, there's a lot of Italians in Brazil. And actually,

Guidelli, it's like one of the names that Guido came from. Yeah. Today I learned. We're being empowered already. It's a real name. Bolsonaro is a famous Italian Brazilian. No, he really is. I just love the idea of like

I was caught in an existential quandary. Who was I? What do I mean in this life? And then I just started buying rental property. And that fixed all of it. I just have money now. And it doesn't matter who I am. I have a pizza oven in my backyard

that I never use. That's all that matters. And I'm yelling at the contractor who fucked up the fucking tiling on my pizza oven. And I go to Small Claims Court to sue his ass for the next three years. And so that's three years where

I don't have to wonder who I am. I'm the person suing to fix my goddamn fucking pizza oven. Yeah. I didn't like this one source. I don't know if you haven't gotten there yet. But one of these women is still married and I think the investors

should kick her ass out. That's the one that's with the Brazilian lady. They're talking about like she started investing with her husband and at no point do they break up. This is not a narrative of girl power or empowerment.

Leave him. If she wants to be girl power she has to break up with this asshole. Dump him and raise the rents 10% without any capital improvement. Dump him, raise the rents 10% and then marry the Brazilian fraud.

Then you will be a progressive success story. That is another thing. There is nowhere in this article do they talk about lesbians owning property. Let's hear it for lesbian landlords. Where are the lesbian landlords? Ms. Faircloth cost Ms. Guidelli

who was in the middle of ending her marriage. I remember Liz telling me I don't think that this is a good time for you. You're going through a divorce Ms. Guidelli recalled and I said this is exactly what I need. It turned out that Ms. Faircloth though happily married needed it too. I have my own identity, my own

place in my life and is mine. It wasn't in the shadows of my husband, she said. Ms. Faircloth and Ms. Guidelli began invest her in 2018. We need to do this for other women. How do they balance their life and create financial freedom on their own terms? Well it's very easy.

By becoming a landlord you can balance your life and income by essentially doing nothing for money. And creating no value. At the end of every month people will like are legally compelled to just give you a huge part of their income for the privilege of living in your shitty investment property.

I didn't know who I was, I felt adrift and then I realized no I'm the person who ties the damsel to the railroad tracks. I am the person who, I am the one who knocks at the end of the month and says that if you do not give me my red

I'm going to call the sheriff. I just, I like how empty it is because they don't explain like in what ways it made them confident or self actualized. Like they might as well say that it's like um oh I was adrift

my husband was like our kids are ugly are you know I'm bad at book club because I have the numbers dyslexia reading a book we're reading a book with a lot of math in it and then I like

now I broke even on my rental property for three years and then what, what did you feel? The answer is pizza yeah, that's it I have a thing on my property that costs a ton of money and pisses me off and then I get to yell at my tenants

to give me money to pay for it. I mean like in this case as in so many others right it's like self care and self actualization are really just synonyms for money, right? Like it takes money to do self care and it takes money to be self actualized. It's almost like we live in a society.

Folks you heard about this? Capitalism? Not a fan It's almost like what's the economic system that undergirds all human life is sort of based around having money I mean it's Sorry go ahead No it's just, I was just thinking about you know

like capital is him Capitalism Yeah That's pretty fucked up We want capital is her Yeah Right? The frauds are on the cutting edge

of creating capitalism of her and we have to applaud them Okay wouldn't you say that like self actualization is for the richest people obviously but then like the poorest people and as always middle class people don't want to hear from you don't care

boring You know those like monks in India that like their goal for the last 70 years of their life is to like turn gray Of course They have no money They have nothing And the point is that they have nothing

So it's like only them and Jeff Bezos get to self actualize And he's turning gray on his own Those monks actually own a lot of property That's not covered in the Wikipedia article Yeah they went on their journey because of a final lawsuit with a contractor that they lost

See you could say yeah The non of it just did not fucking respect So I mean like In one sense you could say that yes living in an economic system called capitalism reduces like all human emotion

feeling and relationships to a sort of monetary transaction or you could say we leverage the knowledge and experience of other women and everything from syndication self storage small multis midterm rentals you name it said Mrs. Goodelly when investors rely on their own experience they limit their growth

Ms. Faircloth said the organization helps women balance their life and create financial freedom on their own terms She added we talk about being on a journey not the destination You could be financially free You could have all the money in the bank But it's not I got the duplex

I got the sixplex because there will be another thing It's meaningless if you're not enjoying it Well if it's a journey not the destination then you should not need the rent check Leverage other women Yes Always be leveraging If I like

If I like gave her like mushrooms and then pointed a gun at her she would still talk like that She would still talk in like bullshit like MLM aphorisms that's just all there is there I'm just giving ahead of the article a little bit

It says here Alexia Alexia Ely a travel nurse who lives in Dothan Alabama also began investing after a failed relationship She said she helped her ex-boyfriend with the transportation business but she said it was more his dream than hers I felt like I put everything on hold

to push someone else's wagon when I should have been pushing my own said Ms. Ely 32 She sold her home and used the money to buy four single family houses in need of renovations She lived with her parents while rehabbing them Today she primarily rents them to other travel nurses

I felt like I owned myself like that was a form of self-love to go back and redeem my dream my path says Ms. Ely I went from being heartbroken lost confused and in just one year I was able to turn that into having about half a million in assets

Wait Wait, rewind She has four houses and they're worth half a million What a bunch of fucking clunkers Wow God 125k a house

in 2022 Did she call buying a property self-love? That sounds very masturbatory which I guess, you know, fits Well, once you have a house you have a place to masturbate in You don't have to do it on buses in parks anymore ladies

But she had a house It was her parents house She sold her house and then bought four more That's like, I find you know, money just kind of properties just kind of flow towards me especially after a large inheritance winning, you know, some other kind of

After my elderly husband has his unexpected accident Pairs up Pairs up I'm sorry I'm sorry Good thing we live in an apartment where there are no staircases

I'll just say that right now Don't tell the people that But there are pitfalls often related to gender bias One 2020 paper from the Yale School of Management found that a single women see much lower returns from buying and selling real estate than single men

Boo The lady landlords in real estate invest her message boards are full of questions and complaints about how to address the unequal treatment I'll get one post that's, hey, what type of flooring should I buy, said Ms. Nova and one post that's, hey, contractors

showed up and asked where my husband was or I have a male tenant and he's not paying rent, what's the best way to ask for it safely? Well, with the sheriff's department, that's usually the way it's done I'm like, you're already going free Ms. DeVos said she felt a hefty dose of imposter syndrome during the

renovation process Working with contractors was a nightmare being a woman, she said On the job site, if her father was around the men would always address him and my dad, being this wonderful human being would be like, I'm not your boss, you have to talk to her and they'd look confused

They look like that anyway Even the paperwork smacked of sexism, she said On Ms. DeVos property deed right behind side her signature are three words in all caps, an unmarried woman I was like, you guys are rubbing it in my face, she said the state of Montana does not require

deeds to list marital status Okay, I don't know what's going on there Because women face discrimination in the industry, they have to be a little more careful and conscientious about whether someone is preying on them or not Yeah, as a landlord, you have to be really conscientious about whether someone is preying on

you or not In June she joined about 400 women in Charlotte, North Carolina for her, for Invest Her Con A two day conference that real estate Invest Her are built as a full circle transformational experience

Con is right There was a nursing and relaxation room Attendees were encouraged to take mindful breaks where they could network or recharge Ms. Guidelli said she was so overcome by the sight of women lining up at the microphone that she broke down crying

On the first day of participants were asked to close their eyes and envision themselves five years in the future Where were they? How did they feel? Despite the dissolution of her marriage which Ms. Dillger called devastating she said she realized, I've got this I'm healthy, I'm comfortable, I feel good

It's a feeling that women in the industry described as accomplishing something significant on their own Yes, having someone else pay your rent The females reign What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that? Hey now!

Basically you're seeing the birth of two real estate companies tonight And finally, Ms. DeVoe is now engaged and she's given the potential division of her assets some thoughts I've made this my home this beautiful nurturing place to be, she said I've told my partner

that I'll share our income moving forward but the duplex is mine Oh no Oh no, she gets the duplex Don't take my recumbent bike So ladies and gentlemen, that is The New York Times on investing in real estate as self-care Amber, Catherine, our guest girl

bosses here tonight, do you have any final thoughts on self-care, self-empowerment and self-landlording Rent is due on the first of the month Yes, drawn by Patreon Catherine Krieger and Amber Rall ladies and gentlemen Okay, now, Portland Aladdin Theatre

we have another surprise guest for you tonight you might know him as a writer on TV shows such as The Simpsons and Mission Hill but you may also know him as one of Portland's most beloved residents and the premiere treats reviewer and in America

ladies and gentlemen, The Great Bill Oakley Thank you Thank you A lot of fucking copying out there, damn The dick riding is crazy in here tonight and it's coming from me towards Bill Oakley

So, Bill, as you know here we go through your YouTubes and food reviews you are like the nation's premiere experts on treats and we decided to ask you tonight to sort of curate for us some of the most wonderful treats that Portland has to offer

and sort of do a live taste test while we sort of interview you about food culture in Portland. Yes, this is a very exciting opportunity for me to show off some of my favorite foods in town this is completely serious by the way there's no humor

in this event Yeah, no laughing, shut the fuck up they asked me to curate a dinner party from St. Augustine using our, some of my favorite local places and so what we're meeting here is with an appetizer

from Blue Dose maybe many of you have may not heard of Blue Dose, it's a fairly new place from Rick Jencarelli who created Lardo which is one of our most beloved sandwich places it specializes in Greek fare

Greek inspired fare and they have incredible hummus pita, pickles, things like that which we're having for our appetizer Alright, before I talk into this I'm going to start off by asking you Bill you told me you've been in Portland about 14 years now, what are your favorite

and least favorite parts about Portland and the Pacific Northwest region as a whole? Okay you know, these are going to be real specific to this crowd so I don't know how listeners across the country okay, I really like going to the beach on

Sovi Island and not just the nude beach but the other beach too let's see, I don't like it when it rains all June as you know we happen to have that this year as well I love the culture I love the food, I love the food cartpods

especially and I also love the fact that at least if you don't have to commute to Beaverton or whatever, it takes 10 minutes to get from across town so those are the things I like about it This is unbelievably good What are you having, the hummus?

Oh yeah, I'm having the hummus, this cauliflower here and I'm going to try this pepper right now Oh my god, that's so good By the way, if anyone was ever interested in chapeau ASMR I think everyone will respectfully look the other way if you need to do your business

But Bill, you mentioned some of the food carts here and you said that there is a Chicago style hot dog cart here but you know, your favorite part of Portland is the imagination of America and the American media sort of the least

favorite part of Portland. What happened when you would share your Portland food as a recommendation on social media? Anytime I tweet about any food item from Portland on Twitter at least one person replies there's no food in Portland, the whole place burned down

So as you, as I'm sure all of you know, all of you with relatives in certain states certain regions, areas certain political persuasions literally believe that there's nothing here but rubble and that comes up

every single time I love that, you see the idea of like yeah like somebody, George Soros or whoever is like paying Bill Oakley to pretend that there is still restaurants

that are in Portland. It's like every month they're like, keep them coming Bill keep making people believe that there are restaurants in Portland, Oregon that they have it all but seized by Antifa That's like

that's the only thing America can make besides missiles is like restaurants and bars It's true like Felix is sort of like going against the grain with our whole deal here because his entire

project has been to reduce the number of restaurants that there are in the United States There are fucking too many, there are too many What the fuck Oh, oh, oh, okay you know, my dad was middle management at General Electric

he made the equivalent of $27 million a year off the strength of graduating from sophomore year of high school using this like inherited wealth from the Dolis mafia pillaging the earth I'm opening the

first restaurant of its type you've ever seen we're making a southern fried chicken sandwich that has aioli on it Oh, oh this is really fucking crazy, we have waffle fries we're making some bullshit

Westphalian ham sandwich with a pretzel bun you've never seen that, there are 70,000 restaurants like that in every city in America okay, this Greek food was incredible, this was an

it was very good that is no capparino the single best hummus I've ever had in my life that was insanely good the best hummus I've ever had should I clear it? what's this place called? it's called Bluetooth

fuck I gotta go back to California and eat regular hummus like an asshole now I mean the thing is you can always make your own I have done it it is not that good, trust me

okay, it's not as good but it also is a huge pain in the ass and makes a mess that's true, costs way more money is not as good and then I have to do dishes for two hours afterwards what's not to love? so

we haven't spoken to you in a while but I see the checking my second question for this course is you're an authority on these subjects every new fast food item that comes out in 2022 because these rankings they slide, they move around

what is right now in 2022 what is in your opinion the best national fast food chain and the best regional fast food chain? I asked him this is a tough one five guys five guys

now most people don't consider that fast food though so it's kind of on the border of it but that's what my pick would be if I could only go to one hamburger place alright, and what is this pizza we're being presented with? alright, now this pizza is something special a lot of people, even in Portland, don't know about

this is from Bridge City Pizza Bridge City is not well known it's been around here for a long time and it never gets any attention it was the original and only place it makes tavern style pizza Chicago style thin crust tavern pizza

and party cut there's also another place which is now on hiatus named Jerry's which makes pizza about 50 feet from here also in this style but I think they're closed for a while anyway, this pizza is delicious I was told that you would like this pizza

god damn it big plug for Bridge City is making him curse this just pisses me off cause I don't live here so I can't have this anymore I gotta go home where the pizza is not as good as this

this is also really good I like a thin crust pizza I like a pizza that the New York style pizza it does not support its own weight, it flops over and like this is like you can play cards on this pizza, it's great

tavern style is the actual good Chicago style pizza we got the deep dish, whatever that's casserole, whatever it is actual pizza, the tavern style the god damn thin crust is a little squares it's so god damn good, it's the best back to the power rankings

five guys, still the best national burger chain yes, in my opinion what about a regional creation, regional chains I'm gonna have to say burgerville I know that's I know that's

a cheap attempt to get applause from this crowd but honestly, I haven't tried what a burger, I haven't tried Brahms I haven't tried those other ones that are contenders burgerville, and I did this on the Doughboys podcast earlier this year shout out Doughboys

we had everything on the menu and everything there is excellent except the burgers which are still kind of a B minus but the rest of the stuff, the shakes, the specials the onion rings, everything and right now the onion rings are in season is top top notch okay, so if I'm here in Portland

and I'm getting a burger, because I've been thinking about late late night especially should I go to burgerville or should I go to for the burger for the burger Dixon Seattle, we don't have that here I saw somebody with a bag of dicks is that not real here

there's no dicks there's no dicks in Portland someone said they saw someone with the dicks bag dicks sporting goods Bill, have you ever been to Colvers no, and that's the one

that's the gold standard apparently I've never been there, we don't have one Catherine who is just out here she's from Wisconsin, every time I visit her family in Wisconsin I make her take me to Colvers every day Colvers is in my opinion the best regional burger joint

in America I've heard that many times so many times I've considered driving six and a half hours to Nampa, Idaho which is where our nearest Colvers is on the spur of the moment to just try it because I keep hearing about it one morning Catherine and I woke up

a little hungover and we were just like oh I would love some fast food Catherine seriously Google Maps what's the closest Colvers to New York City and it was 11 hours away in Ohio did you go no, okay

okay but what is the worst what's the worst national fast food chain I think everybody knows that it's Burger King okay though wait a minute yes absolutely burgers, garbage but the spicy chicken

sandwich is really good I appeared in a commercial for that sandwich and I agree it is the best sandwich on the menu tied with the I still think the whopper is good I don't think anything else on the menu is good

Burger King I don't know there's always been like it does sort of I don't think it's like as bad as most people think but it does seem like the kind of place where like it's the last place that a spree killer ate at before he did his crime I don't know what it is about it

it's just like I associate it with random killings what is this next course this will be familiar to many people here this is the pastrami zombie this is from sandwich this is one of the this place probably has many of the best sandwiches

I've ever eaten this I think is the apex yes it is fucking awesome I will say this one this is another one if I post photos of it gets a lot of question marks from people from New York

who think that a sandwich needs to have a pastrami on it to be a sandwich like those deli sandwiches from New York that you can't possibly open your mouth I agree it's too much pastrami I agree

this is excellent what are the ingredients we're talking about here mainly pastrami and coleslaw and either Russian dressing or mustard and that's pretty much it and if the house smoke it it's really something else like

incredible I was only talking about this is infuriatingly good but if you lived here you'd have to either become a proud boy or

you'd have to be an illegalist anarchist there are always tradeoffs that's the first thing we learn in economics so I was only talking about the evolution or devolution of the American fast food

Bill, do you have any thoughts on the recent debate over the transition at some point from McDonald's using beef tallow to fry their fries to the cursed seed oil and is this part of the kind of devolution

of American fast food culture that we've gone from the more satisfying seed oil to the cursed and probably poisonous seed oil you know, it's interesting that is a topic that has been a motive contention for a long time now

and the beef tallow actually isn't all that much better I made the recipe myself the vintage McDonald's recipe and other places make it as they're tendered french fry it's maybe like 3% better than regular fries

and it is like whereas I just had my first batch of potato chips that were fried in beef tallow those were amazing french fries I couldn't really tell the difference it's not a real thing at the end of the day

what a place like McDonald's does for an adult who is choosing an option for food it makes you think of like when you were a child so like whatever you were eating when you were a kid is gonna like just hit this

you're gonna go into a fucking prostian reverie every time you eat these fries anybody who is like under the age of 50 you never had the fucking beef tallow fries that's a made up thing that's a fantasy that is like some trad cath

fantasy of america you always had the seed oil fries what matters is that you had them when you were a kid and that like just being a little child and eating it and then just like having pure pleasure fill your brain

and then you spend the rest of your life chasing that I think with fast food fries McDonald's especially that's the classic fast food french fry I think rather than beef tallow or seed oil the chief enemy of McDonald's french fries is time

absolutely and you have about 30 seconds from when you're giving them to consuming all of them when you get them right fresh it's the peak of enjoyment but 30 seconds after that they become like wet, cold

just depressing awful little strings I completely agree you can't even do it in the drive you gotta eat them in the restaurant immediately after they're handed to you you can throw them away and that's

almost every other fast food chain fries though, don't even compare they don't even make it out of the drive-thru window they're not worth even bothering with so I guess only broader like fast food

is kind of a synonym for American culture Bill is America burger and is burger America or to put it another way what are your thoughts on the burger as like the quintessential essence of modern American culture

how much time do we have on this podcast about 15 minutes okay I'm not the first one to say this you aren't the first one to pose this question there have been books written on this there's an entire book called The Hamburger by late Josh Ozersky

this topic in incredible detail within brilliance that lays out the case that it is the ultimate American food and it is and I'll just tell you a number of reasons here that again will not be funny the hamburger at the turn of the 1900s

the hamburger was considered a back alley food back in the up to the Sinclair days in the jungle meat was considered suspect hamburgers were like and all that changed with white castle white castle became the first fast food chain excruciatingly clean

that was the whole point of the thing then as veterans came back from World War II it was the ultimate hamburger stand such as the in and out burger chain was the ultimate thing for veterans to do who didn't have very much money and some of those chains have now gone into giant empires and I think that it is

I mean I think argument can be made for fried chicken to some extent but I think it has other roots I think the hamburger especially the cheeseburger is the ultimate American food yes I mean like recently I guess just like in online discourse

especially among people who aren't from oh here we go there we go it's become sort of a term of derision among people who are not Americans like you know Europeans Americans are fat and eat burger

yeah it says you're an American American eat burger and to these people it's like sure it's kind of funny but yes I do eat burger is great I love burger I'm an American give me more burger everyone has their thing

you know like if you're British it's like you know Britain is fat and fucks kids French is skinny and signed an open letter saying that there should be no more age of consent Spanish is

surprisingly thin very strong legs in the amount of walking they do but has 3% employment rate you know everyone everyone has their thing and this is our thing we love the burger folks we love it

what else we got going on and finally for our dessert course what do we have here what we have here is a dessert from one of Portland's most storied chains the ice cream shop salt and straw salt and straw has its detractors but it does a good

job in general and they've expanded to other places all over the country and I believe in Japan as well they specialize they have a number of pretty delicious regular flavors but they also specialize in freak show flavors that they rotate out every so often

what we have here is two different flavors one of which is my favorite pear and blue cheese the other I did not order and I don't know what it is it is strawberry, balsamic and black pepper and the other one is pear and blue cheese

I always got the call about the pear and blue cheese these are also both unbelievably good the pear and blue cheese was great I was a little it took a couple buds with the strawberry and balsamic because it is a shock to your system

but yeah, they are both very good which means a lot because when we were planning this and Bill he created the menu and we all got the stuff Felix asked like is there a dessert commercial? because he has got a little bit of a sweet

and he likes it both of these exotic flavors they are very good though it is a perfect balance of sweet and scary flavors as they say in polonaire so Bill my last question for you on food related culture

is the fast food chain is an institution in American life and McDonald's the golden arch is our former president Donald Trump and his love of McDonald's so it is something that unites the president

of the United States to the the lowliest wretch among us is united by the ease, convenience and relative predictability and pleasure of fast food yes, it is poisonous lot but it is also going to be one of the few remaining

parts of American infrastructure that we deliver how do you view the fast food chain in the American present and going into the future will it still be a crucial fabric of American life? yes, I think it will be it will continue to evolve

in ways that we won't be able to predict yet there will be different types of fast food chains there will be different types of things that we indulge in and some of them are going to go by the wayside will we ever get a nation-wide

Italian fast food chain if anyone's from the Midwest has ever knew anyone's had fissoles you know that it is it can be done but it has never been done at a national scale

do you think we'll ever get one? we have sparrow, what are you talking about? that's just pizza I'm talking about a place where you can get ravioli where they bring breadsticks to your table if anyone's been to fissoles I have been to fissoles

I did a review of fissoles for just this purpose and the food is really not that good it's shocking that somebody could make ravioli in a time it takes to go through a drive-thru but the quality is a concomitant

is that the word? with what you'd expect to be made in 30 seconds fissoles this is like the type of place you go to when you're celebrating that your dad didn't get jail time community service it's like an ignominious type of celebration I was like

pulling up the drive-thru window let me get just a medium gnocchi can I get a medium gnocchi please in high school when we wanted to skip class and like ditch and hang out we would go to fissoles in high school

and Bill could you explain for anyone who doesn't know what the steamed ham society and food discovery club is it's very exciting and I know we have at least a few members in the audience tonight many of you know simpson's steamed ham sketch I wrote

euphemism for hamburgers we won't go into detail for that the steamed ham society is a club basically for people interested in food we don't know if it's an abomination or whether it's a miracle I think it's a miracle

Catherine would agree with you showing off the amazing chicken sandwich you found on your way to Memphis or anything like that we have a discord, we have live stream we have merchandise and there's various different levels go to steamedhamssociety.com

to join so I know that you have very bravely and correctly championed Arby's as a underrated national brand Arby's shut the fuck up Arby's is good

horsey sauce is the single best thing he's going to talk about the Euro single best condiment created by a brand but I'm hoping that at some point you will try the incredibly like way better than it needs to be

a great Euro I'm just going to say again please, for me have the Euro and Arby's I've heard amazing things about that, I can't wait to try it I just want to say this Arby's thing it's all because the

syllable Arb sounds funny Arb is a funny syllable if John Stort had spent 20 years making fun of Burger King like he should have we wouldn't be in this boat because everybody thinks Arby's sucks because of John Stort because the word Arby's is funny Burger King is not

that's where we are they've been hiding that fucking mediocrity behind their two names the monarchy, yes the same reason that people don't make fun of the dying Queen Elizabeth is the reason we won't talk about how terrible Burger King is

really good chicken sandwich and the Whopper, still good Whopper with cheese so if people would like to join the Steamed Ham Society you just go to steamedhamssociety.com it's a patreon-operated thing and there's different levels you can join it

if you want more perks, t-shirts, whatever also in some cities, Portland being the main one right now we have secret menu items at some of your favorite food carts if you see the Steamed Ham Society logo sticker on there you know to ask for the secret menu item that only a member can get that is the most courageous thing you can do

is start an internet community based on food because it produces less shitty replies like for whatever reason it causes people to behave in the most irritating way possible

when they say their opinions on food I would rather argue about abortion you get less shitty replies somehow, I don't know but you aren't doing a service you are like you've gone past just like internet community

and you know the secret menu items that is the most significant thing that anyone has done with the internet community since we lost the primary thank you god damn it fuck

and Bill, before we get into our very last segment for the evening could you tell the audience about Space 1969? yes this is very exciting Space 1969 is Audible.com it is an audio book

but really more of a radio show type thing that I wrote 5 out of 5 and a half hour saga starring Natasha Leon and it takes place it's a kind of a retro sci-fi comedy takes place in an alternate history

where JFK did not die from his wounds but instead fully recovered I live bitch hey, Ella Dulles motherfuck you, I live it's got all that stuff basically what happened is he decided

he had a revelation in the coma that he suffered in 1963 decided to get out of Vietnam and put all our efforts into expanding into space as quickly as possible the story I won't spoil it any further Natasha Leon stars as a nurse on the Liberty Bell Space Station

which orbits the Earth and is our jumping off point space colonization it's got a ton of pop culture stuff I've never been allowed to go so nuts with the kind of stuff that I like to write without any kind of network interference so please do check it out

I'm very proud of it Space 1969 ladies and gentlemen now Bill for the very last thing we're doing obviously the Simpsons everyone knows how much it means to the show and pretty much everyone

you were the author of some of the most classic bits on that show it's really an honor to share a stage with you so if you will indulge us I'll do it very quickly here we've come together with some very brief these are chopo pitches

for Simpsons episodes for season 45 I understand you're not working on the show but just to bask in your glory to bask in your sunlight right now I would just like to share with you and the audience this is chopo trap houses pitches for contemporary Simpsons episodes

and you want my honest feedback on this okay a first idea for an episode apu returns as a hindu vada nationalist recruits homer recruits homer and introduces him to modi voiced by modi himself

in a guest role but the voice acting will be swapped from Hank Azaria to Ram Charan the Chad star of the movie rise roar revolt I'm sad to say I'm not as familiar with some of those references as I should be but

I think it sounds very promising next step well if you didn't get that one this next one's going to be even better after trying to cancel them Lisa becomes seduced by a downtown springfield pseudo fascist art scene funded by

Mr. Burns and turns trad again I'm only getting a percentage of what I think you're going for there but I believe I think that sounds very promising as well okay I really can't wait to see her just vaping like mad okay

Marjorie Simpson Green question mark that's just Marj becomes a viral has a viral Charan moment wait this is the same story I just have one line that just said Marjorie Simpson Green

question mark that one is definite that's going in I love that one it's very promising as we know Marj has a little bit of conservative political leaning and I think that it's not wouldn't be that far out of character for her

well it would be a little out of character but it wouldn't be that you have to earn it's way there but it's a possible yes illegal immigration makes me madder than a yak in heat I had this isn't in the document but like

this is you know hit me like lightning Lisa with Drake I think that would be a pretty cool episode no argument there alright I really like this idea Chief Wiggum touches fentanyl and becomes like Ralph

that's another definite one I think that one's going on the board our alternate idea for this episode is that both Chief Wiggum and Ralph touch fentanyl at the same time and have sort of a freaky Friday body switch with one another yeah I mean you don't waste it all on the first act

that's your second act that's your second act you know the third act twist and finally our last idea is comic book guy disco stew and Professor Frank meet on a web forum and decide to start a podcast

skewering current events and pop culture that becomes shockingly wildly successful becoming a six year and ongoing running independent media concern that eventually does a live show in Portland, Oregon with Bill Oakley I mean it's really just like wearing the outfit

you wore in that one picture oh yeah god damn it I gotta be comic book guy right fuck shit I don't want to be disco stew he's not one of the cooler characters but sometimes you gotta take it on the chin okay so like when I did this I was thinking of myself

as comic book guy you've never worn shorts in your life sir you as Professor Frank and Felix as disco stew alright Bill thank you so much for joining us I hope we did not thank you for enduring our disgrace

amazing treats as well thank you for enduring our disgrace of your classic television program but before I go tonight I have a just a bit of a PSA for you guys here tonight that was a pass on to me by the Portland DSA if you're in

Multnomah County made up not a real name if you're a Multnomah County voter don't leave I got stage 2 shut the fuck up I'm trying to get out of here if you are a Multnomah Multnomah

consult a physician if you are a Multnomah County voter don't leave without signing the petition for the ERA eviction representation for all which is a ballot measure that would tax capital gains

to provide a free lawyer for people facing eviction there's a table outside where you can sign a petition sheet also are you looking to get a union job like in the labor movement alright come to our socialist job fair on September 4th at 7pm

to learn about union jobs in a variety of industries talk to Portland DSA table outside to sign up join the rank and file movement alongside Teamsters preparing for an earth shattering strike next year Portland, Oregon, Aladdin Theater

I want to thank our guest Bill Oakley I want to thank Katherine Krieger and of course our great producer Chris Wayne we got to get out of this whole place by 11 but I think at least some of us will try to be out the merch area by the bar

saying hey for like 25 minutes whatever Portland, good night, we love you guys cheers oh no I was just a rock music