Chapo Trap House - 656 - Bug Chasers (8/22/22)

Episode Date: August 23, 2022

Matt and Will put on their sports radio hats and rank the prospects for the 2024 GOP primary. Then we discuss the bug scourge now plaguing America, and the people who are NOT doing their part to stamp out the menace. New merch store! Tons of hot new merch! Get it, wear it, do NOT answer anyone’s questions about it: https://chapotraphouse.shop/ And, all our tour dates + tickets over at https://www.chapotraphouse.com/live

The Human Torch was denied a bank loan. Alright, Choppa, Monday, August 22nd, title of this episode, Where's Felix? Where's Felix? Where's Felix? Where in the world is Felix Biedermann? It's a Madden-I-Duo episode today. Yeah, the rare, the rare Bipolarity Chat. We'll let you know what happens with Felix at a future date.

Is this the end of Felix? I hope not. I hope not. But it is Monday, August 22nd, and the show must go on. Indeed. The show must go, Brandon. I said that the first thing I wanted to talk about on today's show was just like, just a brief little check-in with our boy with the homemade gun who killed former Japanese

Prime Minister Shinzo Abe. I bring this up because I saw a little news item that states that something like 59% of the Japanese public does not want an official state funeral for Shinzo Abe. Yep. And the popularity of his Liberal Democratic Party's cabinet, which is in power right now, is abysmal. He's mad at them. So I mean, I guess the way to think about this is, is this the most successful assassination

in history? I mean, when you think about what the goals are that people ostensibly have, I mean, if we're talking about ones carried out by conspiracies and networks of people connected to power structures, their assassinations tend to be very successful. But it's very rare that the lone nut gets what he wants, unless it's just to be famous. Yeah. You know, like, I'm telling you, like, yeah, you're right. There are professional assassinations, you know, Patrice Lomba, you know, Chigahara,

JGFK, things like that. But this is like, you know, a true amateur. Yeah. A true amateur. Just a man with a mission who was just, you know, sick of his mom getting ripped off by the Mooneys. Yeah. And then I'm going to go down to the last remaining Radio Shack on earth and just buy

enough products until I've built something that can kill the former prime minister with. Well, and it seems like he got his wish because like, I mean, it's like, you know, his party is just like, oh, well, yeah, we'll stop doing stuff with the Mooneys. I'm sorry. We will not hang out. We're sorry. We won't do that anymore. I mean, it is very funny, but it's also definitely true.

I mean, I'm not a Japan hand, but I'm going to take a wild guess and say that some significant portion of the outrage of this revealed link between the LDP and the Mooneys is that they are a Korean church and the thought of them, of the LDP just over there, just rubbing elbows with a bunch of Koreans. It probably doesn't sit right with a lot of Japanese people and their, and their Gaijin religion. Yeah. Yeah.

Christianity. Christianity. No, thank you. Many leading Mooneys also have a B positive B blood type. Yep. Get it out of here. Get it out of here. I don't know.

I mentioned this because as far as scrappy lunch pail can do attitude assassins, I think this one was successful because there's something so distinctly kind of apolitical about his goal. Yeah. It wasn't any kind of like grand political strategy. It was just sort of like, this guy ripped off my mom and I'm very disappointed in him. I find him very unsatisfactory. Yeah.

Also, I, you know, one time I almost made it onto battle bots and I've been pissed about that ever since. And now I'm going to show you guys just how good I could be at creating amateur weapons of death. The fucking thing had an electric trigger. An electric trigger. What the shit, man? Damn.

Very impressive. But that's just it. I think that he wanted it more and I think it's nice kind of that he kind of was rewarded for that. Yeah. And, you know, like I said, it's just, it's an interesting thing. I mean, I just like, I think it's like, you know, usually when a political figure dies, there's like, or is, is murdered, there's like an outpouring of support.

And like, you know, like, you know, when, when presidents die of old age, everyone pretends they were like a great leader and a wonderful president, like when Ronald Reagan or George H. W. Bush died. But I don't know. It's like the Japanese people, they just all decided they were like, decided on mass at the same time. They were just like, you know what? Fuck this guy.

He sucks. Yeah. He sucks. Let's throw him into a fucking ditch. They're just going to, not even a fuck state funeral, no funeral. Just dumping him into a sewer, just a nude body floating into the ocean is going to just airdrop him into the Fukushima exclusion zone and just have him, his carcass ripped apart by feral dogs.

Yep. Yep. Well, that's what you get. That's what you get for trucking with the moonies. It's true. Ripping off old ladies. So they're fucked up CIA backed fascist church. Yeah.

And there is, there is something amazing about that life trajectory. So Shinzo Abe, the, the child of one of the chief perpetrators of the, the Japanese genocidal colonial project in China becomes like an inner circle figure within this massively powerful, like the LDP is the, is the political state and the deep state at the same time, basically, and spending, you know, years in office pulling the strings. And then you leave office because you've got, IBS basically, and then just, is that true? Is that why he left office?

He had chronic, he had to, he'd had to like step down previously to like take a break after. Take a shit. To take a shit. But in retirement, somebody just blows you apart with like a package of fireworks. And then, and then your entire legacy is destroyed. Yeah. It's, you know, like people say, you know, Japan is like sort of like, I don't know,

like a country in decline or like, you know, no one, no one's having sex. No one wants to leave the house. Everyone wants to play video games. But, you know, there's still some can do spirit, still a can do attitude there. There's a bit of grit out there. Yeah. There's some people who have sigma grind set in glorious napad, and it'll be interesting to see them in the future.

Well, I just wanted to check in on Japan briefly, because I was fascinated by just how universally Japan has just decided to just, out of time, just piss on the grave of their former prime minister. Because I mean, you know, I don't know, like they just, I think they identify with the guy that killed them. They kind of do. And I think I say they identify with them because it's like, because it was so apolitical. He was just like, I'm dissatisfied with you.

Well, that's just it is that everyone is, is being, is being ripped off. Everyone feels that they're ripped off, but it's all through an individual lens. And they can only ever accidentally have a meaningful political element. And like, this is a perfect example, like his, his general sense of, of, of dissatisfaction is concentrated on the specific fact of his mother's exploitative relationship with the church of unification. And then from there, he then builds on to resentment of Abe and the LDP. It's not from any of their policies specifically, or anything having to do with the, you know,

the, the grander structures that they perpetrate, even though those are the real, real sources of, of alienation and resentment. Yeah. And that's, that's the great challenge of this moment is that there is so much alienation being felt, but it's being channeled pretty much everywhere, but towards, but the political. I don't know. It'd be like, if someone like, someone took a shot at Joe Biden because they liked him, like the way he rode a bike or something.

I mean, he does. I mean, like a bitch. Um, all right. Well, let's, let's, let's move to the domestic political scene and new power rankings released by the Washington Post, the top 10 Republican presidential. Oh, thank God. We, I'm glad we're doing this. These are, these are, these are new power rankings.

Let's go through. According to the Washington Post, was their top 10 contenders and you know, we get to the end of it. I do want to talk about the interesting Trump DeSantis, you know, like the, the battle lines being Trump. It'd be interesting to see what's going to happen with that. Yeah. But let's go to the, let's go through the power rankings first coming in at number 10, Donald

Trump Jr. Oh man. According to the Washington Post, they say, as we've said before, the supply is only to a scenario in which his father doesn't run. God, they got that funny though, if they both ran against each other. I think how bad Donald Trump would own his own son. Oh, just, he would not stop for a second, folks. He's never any good.

He's like, he threw, he threw, he throws a ball like a girl. He tried to wear a jersey to a Yankee game. Okay. He wasn't going to wear a suit. I had to smack him some sense into him. It says, but that's a scenario in which some polls show him running as high as second with the caveat that we don't have a lot of good polling. We really have a base to work with, but capitalizing on that is another matter.

And it's not just about lobbing bombs from the sideline, which is true, which is his true talent. Previous ranking seven. So Donald Trump Jr. has fallen in three spots. Oh, no. What do you think about like in a scenario in which Donald Trump doesn't run for president, Don Jr. running in his place? I mean, it's very hard to imagine a scenario with Donald Trump doesn't run, but maybe he

dies, something like that. And he's, and there's the son to carry on the mantle. I think he would lose the DeSantis because I think that that would shatter the whole collective and give people sort of permission to seek a new leader because at the end of the day, as much as our friend, Don Jr. loves to try to sound like his dad, you know, notice that recently he's really trying to sound like his speech. If you look at any of those insane videos where he's just gacked out of his mind and his eyes are like red little slits, and he's clearly been up for three days, and he's just

annunciating the words. He's doing a bad Donald Trump impression is not even a good one. He doesn't even sound good. He's not as good as James Austin Johnson. That's for sure. I mean, you know, I do tons of bad Trump impressions. I mean, my strong impression is I just, I always revert to Jim and E. Glick. Yeah.

I go, what do you do? What do you do? What do you do? What do you do? Something really kicks with the public. And Don Jr. Don Jr. Yeah. What do you do?

No. I'm very high. Yeah. I think that, uh, I think it would sort of be like how, uh, after, you know, the death of Muhammad. Yeah. Yes. There were the rider dies for Ali, you know, uh, his son in law, but the majority

ended up going with, with the Umayyad son. I think that would be how it would go here. What about the occluded son, Eric? How come no one speculating? How come no one speculated on Eric jumping in the race? I mean, it's because he has not, he has not been, uh, drawn to like doing the political stuff. Yeah.

No, he's running, he's running the business. He's making Trump magazine. Right. Like this is how you know that Don Jr. is the biggest loser of the kids because he is the one who most, uh, uh, emphatically started doing the political stuff and like started doing all the red meat shit and going to CPAC and, and hanging out with Charlie Kirk. Yeah.

That's a fucking loser. There was nothing else going on. Presumably Eric Trump, as much as he might be a goon, uh, is probably off courses to run with actual stuff, which means that Don Jr. of the son of the kids was clearly never given a real job in the organization. Like they gave him an office and a salary, but in a secretary and everything, but like the phone wasn't plugged in and, uh, and now that's why he's fled to politics, a refuge of the loser.

But yeah, it's not going to be enough. All right. Coming in at number nine is Mike Pompeo. The Washington Post writes, the former secretary of state returns to this list showing all the signs of the guy, of a guy who will run. Those include running digital ads in Iowa and South Carolina. Also worth watching. He recently became one of the highest Trump, highest, highest profile Trump officials to

testify to the house committee investigating January 6th, 2021 attack on the US Capitol. And afterward, he seemed to temper his denial about having discussed removing Trump from office using the 25th amendment, saying merely that it hadn't been discussed seriously. It'll sure be. We were kidding. It'll sure be interesting to see how Trump backers respond to whatever testimony Pompeo provided. Removing, removing Trump with the 25th amendment was a suggestion someone shout out during

a game of whose line is it anywhere style, uh, anyway style improv we were playing. This ranking not applicable, so I mean, he's making his, he's making his debut on the list at nine. I do not under. I hate this list and furious because it's like, if you're this is garbage, but at the same time, you know why people like it and why they'd rather talk about it than policy because it's sports and sports is fun to talk about. How are you going to put Papio on the list?

I Papio, no rings. What was Papio got? He was secretary of state for what, two years, two or three years? He wasn't even the whole time. No, Matt. So the thing about Pompeo is, you know, he's got, he's not a fire tool player. He's got two tools at most, but he's cutting. He's cutting weight.

He's down. He got the lap band surgery. He's lost about a hundred pounds. I think he's hungry. We're going to see him at the combine and a lot of, a lot of GM's. I mean, he's definitely. A lot of GM's. They could be looking to trade up.

Good bike. Pompeo. I mean, he's definitely hungry. Yeah. He's always hungry. He's always hungry. The size of a fucking. Yeah.

I do, I never understand the Pompeo thing. I get why he wants to be president because he's a dumb hick, but I don't understand why anyone takes it seriously. What is his value at, especially with Trump, even without Trump in there? Okay. Well, what does he represent? What the big foreign policy heads among the American base Republican voter, Matt, dog, dog, you've forgotten, he's going to make a big, a big, a strong pitch to the foreign

policy. We all remember the Abraham Accords. A lot of people say that was the Mike Pompeo Accords, the Abraham Accords would never have happened without Mike Pompeo. I mean, yeah, that's the pitch, I guess, is that he is the, he's the nerds pick, but those guys are never going to be able to move the dial. We know that. Mike Pompeo, just, he's too much of a pick.

He's just too much of a swine. He's got nothing. He has no, he has nothing. He has no charisma. He has no media angle. He's got no, he doesn't have any sound bites. He doesn't have any memorable wars with the, with the, with the deep state or with a woke Hollywood.

He's not, he's done nothing. He's not battle tested. What? Oh yeah. He made the whole Abraham Accords and he, you know, tried to make sure that there's many Venezuelans and Syrians and the Afghans possible died, but like he didn't do anything that, that is going to ignite the imaginations of MAGA world, the, the, or the GOP voting population.

What's, what's, what's, what's the point? It's baffling to me. I, Secretaries of State who want to be president. Yeah. You don't get this country. Look at Hillary Clinton. We don't give a fuck about that before it bullshit.

And another thing though, I mean, as much of a porker as he was before, people who get the lap band surgery, they just didn't look weird. You look weird. It just, it doesn't work. You look weird. Like that was a big problem for, for Huckabee and Chris Christie, he lost all that weight. He just looked deflated. Remember Jonah Hill, when Jonah Hill got all skinny, people didn't like it.

Nightmare. He had to go back to being, uh, you know, sort of for a time. Yeah. Okay. Coming in at number eight, Rick Scott, the Skeletor, the Senator from Florida is often dismissed because of his, the Senator from Florida is often dismissed because of his awkward personal style and his reptilian head and face. The fact that he looks like a God damn goblin,

I love the Washington Post is like awkward personal style. Yeah. That's one way to describe how, how freakish he looks, but also like his, his open swindles is open swindling. Oh yeah. That's not the thing where he's the largest ever defrauder of Medicare. Right. That thing.

Oh yeah. But don't you forget though, he has an agenda. He has a serious policy. He's got policy. He's all about policy. And we are all in America. What we love most is policy. We love plans.

Don't we folks? The thing about like the, the, the, the Rick Scott agenda, like the Scott's policy points is that when he released that, like Mitch McConnell, the real power on the power was just like, dude, like, don't, don't say this shit out loud. We have, we're trying to face an election in the midterms here. You can't just come out and say, we're going to get rid of Social Security and Medicare. We're going to do that, but you don't tell people about that. You don't put it in writing so that people can put it in an ad and say a vote for Rick

Scott is a vote to put your grandmother into the fucking glue factory. We are going to raise taxes on middle class and working class people so they get skin in the game. That's in the game. Yeah. I mean, I think no, he just wants, he wants, he wants, uh, he wants skin from middle class and wearing class people to cover more of his skull. Yes.

He's running out of skin. I got so I don't have enough skin as you're saying it's too tight on my skull. The skull is clearly breaking through at several points here from the fucking case sausage that I went at like as, as, as, as the extra skin is just like hangs off Mike Pompeo like drapes. They just shave off, give it, give it to Rick Scott so he can look slightly more human, slightly less monstrous and otherworldly. Uh, yeah.

The post mentions, but he's been positioning himself for the national stage by launching his own platform, which Senate leader, Mitch McConnell has distanced himself from. And if Republicans can win back the Senate, perhaps Scott gets some credit as head of the Senate GOP's campaign arm. We'll see. Yeah. Like, so this is just going to make it even more ridiculous if they get their asses kicked in November, which it looks like they very well might.

It says that, well, the Washington Post says that position is a double edged sword, though, given it's, uh, sorry, that position is a double edged sword, though, given it's quite possible Republicans blow a good opportunity. Previous ranking not applicable. So Rick Scott coming in at eight, I just another one where I don't get it. Who is this for? Who is this for other than literal Medicare fraudsters, like people in their respective states who do the thing he did where they would defraud Medicare with fake, uh, fake

bills, that probably he would probably pull somewhere in the 90% among those people, but it's a very small base to build from. Coming in at number seven is Nikki Haley. Why? What is with this? They've been talking about this since she got fucking, uh, uh, since she got confirmed by the Senate to have the stupid job of UN second of UN, uh, uh, ambassador or whatever the fuck it says.

The UN, former UN ambassador is a real contender on paper. What paper? Literally the paper that you asked over and over again. It's bullshit. And it says she is leaning hard into the idea that she'll run having repeatedly cited the idea of electing a woman as president. You'll notice she's the only woman on this list, but races aren't one on paper. Haley often disappears from the national discourse.

I mean, since it's an election, yeah, they are elections literally are one on paper. Where else are you going to vote? Well, on the, on the computer machines, that's true, but the Venezuelan packets, we mostly vote, we still mostly vote on paper in this country. It says Haley often disappears from the national discourse and it's still not clear what her campaign would be about. I think they just mentioned it, the idea of electing a woman. See, here's the thing.

Shouldn't you guys have made these, had these conversations in your stupid fucking newsroom sometime in the last six years and decided not to humor this bullshit instead of just bring it up just to have something to talk about. And like Nikki Haley is sort of, she's more of like the neocon mole. She's like, you know, well, that's why they want to take her seriously because there are so many Republicans who have reviled the Trump thing, but generally, but are still stuck in and want to shape the party in their, in their agenda. Yeah.

Like, and, and, and Nikki has sort of been, been, been a little bit of giving them, giving Trump and his supporters a little bit of the high hat. She definitely has given them. And you know what? Like I say, like, if you're going to have a woman on this list, I think Tulsi Gabbard is a stronger contender than Nikki Haley at this point, a billion times hotter than Nikki Haley. True.

And Trump friendly. It's true. It's wild. Well, the Nikki Haley thing is, is always the same to me. I don't get it. Coming in, uh, previous ranking four, so Nikki Haley has fallen three, she's a billion. She's negative five. She's the square root of six.

It doesn't matter. She's not none of these, most of these people, honestly, this is, this is a non-existent list. There's two names on it. Well, we'll get, we're getting those two names. And number six, Ted Cruz, the senator from Texas has been out front in criticizing the FBI's search of Trump, including an early push for the search warrant. He has also floated impeaching attorney general, Merrick Garland, and said the FBI agent said that FBI agents had been turned into stormtroopers.

Previous ranking six. So Ted Cruz holding at six, but I mean, like his, like, you know, his obsequiousness to Trump. I mean, like, wait. So the best thing he has to offer is just kissing Trump's ass, you know, in a race where if Trump runs, then he's, and there are better stand-ins, you know. But like, how is he supposed to criticize him or distance him? Yeah, exactly.

It's absurd. It's, it's, it's totally, if he's doing this at all, it's based on the assumption that Trump won't run. And even then, there are other people with a better claim to his legacy than him. The guy who ran against him in 2016 and famously did not endorse him at the RNC. Oh, he didn't, but then like, but then he spent the last like three or four years just ab, just being an absolute kiss ass, just a complete suck up. One absolutely repulsive, just a person that I don't think anybody respects, honors, even

people who vote for him. Okay. Coming in at five is Glenn Yonkin. Glenn Blumkin. Glenn Blumkin. Okay. This is more East Coast, DC, Libya, media bias, beltway bias, and just how many times the motherfuckers talk about Mark fucking Warner running for president?

Watching your post writes, it still seems like a bit of a stretch for someone to launch a presidential campaign just a year into his one-term governor. Okay. Then why are you putting him on this stupid list? Virginia doesn't allow governors to seek reelection. You didn't know that. It's true. One-term.

Yeah, one-term governors. But he's clearly putting himself into the mix and 2022 could play into his hands. Imagine a world in which flawed candidates cost the GOP winnable races and possibly the Senate in states such as Arizona, Georgia, Ohio, or Pennsylvania. At that point, the guy who's 2021 win was supposed to be a roadmap for the party, a roadmap disregarded in the Senate primaries. Might look pretty attractive. Previous ranking eight.

So Glenn Blumkin just jumping, jumping three points. I mean, it's DC media bias, and then there's also just wishful thinking because they want that. This is the guy they want to be like. They want the GOP to come to its senses. They want to have them to have that, what Biden said they would have, that awakening. Because as Nancy Pelosi has said, we need a strong GOP. What they mean is one that plays by the rules, and they really want one of those back, and

they know that Glenn Blumkin would never threaten any of their precious rules. But I'm sorry, folks. Everyone is just getting crazier every moment of the day. It's a pure, one-way crazification trajectory, which means there is no coming to senses. Everyone's senses are degrading in real time. I got news for you, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are not walking through that. Nope. They are not walking through that door.

And if they did, they'd get booed and then throw, if a tomato is thrown at them. Did you see that fucking Emperor Palpatine video that Dick Cheney put up to try to rescue his daughter before she got blown out, annihilated in Wyoming? Yeah, he was like, Trump is not a man of honor. He lost. He lost badly. That's just, that's not playing. That's not on.

That's not good crack in the GOP. Coming in at number four, Tim Scott, the senator from South Carolina, has faced some criticism from the right for his endorsement of moderate Lisa Murkowski. But if anyone can get past that kind of thing, it might be the broadly liked South Carolina senator. He's also raising massive sums, $9.6 million last quarter, for what should be an easy reelection bid. And he can use that money to run for president.

Yeah. He can use $9 million to run for president. I feel like one percent of Americans have ever heard of you. Scott's recently published book included a blurb that said he was preparing a presidential run, a blurb. Dude, I work in the publishing industry. Blurbs don't mean shit. They don't even read those books.

Nope. So who gave him the blurb? Who gave him the blurb? What's the blurb? What's the blurb? Tim Scott on his own book saying, Hey, everybody, I'm running for president. Or is it a blurb from someone going like, this reads like somebody who's running for president?

Of course. But the publisher later said it was an error and that Scott hadn't approved the line. Okay. This is, Oh, by the way, that used to be the standard campaign books. Yeah. I'm sorry, folks. TikToks are nothing.

You're not on TikTok. You're not really running for president. I will say Tim Scott, I would absolutely not bet on him to be the presidential candidate or the GOP. But I would, if I were a betting man, which I am, and if I were technically savvy, which I am not, I would find some way to lay money right now on him being the vice presidential nominee. He is the, he fits every fucking, he checks every box, because he's like, because nobody

really knows him. And I guess he's like broadly likable, but it's just like, he's just sort of like a inoffensive black guy who like doesn't piss off a mag of people and seems reasonable enough for the DC neocon. And perfectly is the perfect rejoinder to the democratic push that is going to be all based on racial hysteria because that's all they'll have left. They'll be like these guys are the Nazis returned and if they put a black guy on the ticket, that is a genuine conundrum for them because for those less politically sensitive folks

who haven't built, you know, castles in the sand over all this stuff and have like really strong opinions on it, they're like, there's a black guy right there. He's going to be vice president. What are you talking about? So I think for Trump or DeSantis or some third magical pony, common possibility to Scott makes the sense. He's not going to be a threat to you. He helps you shore up one of the big campaign arguments against you.

It's absolutely if it's somebody else, then somebody fucked up because it's the only one that makes sense. Previous ranking five. So Tim Scott jumping a spot here, zero chance he gets nominated though, because nobody knows who he is. Yeah. And this is when you're going against Donald Trump, that's not going to happen. That's not going to cut it.

You're not going to go. You're not going to go through earned what you're going to use earned media and fucking campaign money to make up for that kind of deficit. No way. All right. Here's where it gets interesting. The top three. Coming in at number three.

And this one is truly idiotic to me. Mike Pence. Give me eight. Mike fucking Pence. Well, I think what's interesting about this is that, okay dog, I think about Mike Pence is that if he runs for president against Trump or anyone else, he's got a one. He wants it. He's got the hunger more than anyone.

Because if he loses, he's going to be executed for treason. He's running like his life is on the line. And I think you're going to see a lot of big stats coming from him. He's going to put up big numbers because I simply must repeat again, if he loses the election, he's going to be hanged as a trader. It's true. You cannot allow Donald Trump and the patriots to get back in charge. If patriots are in control, Mike Pence is taking a long drop and a short stop.

They're going to be compromising his ass to a permanent end. It says here, Pence offered some interesting comments this week, opening the door to testifying to the January 6th committee and saying, the American people have a right to know what happened. Okay. Well, he's already dead. He's already done. Exactly.

Who is this appeal to? Who are you appealing to? What Republican voter is going to like hearing that? He has walked a fine line on criticizing Trump for that day. That's hilarious. Despite the insurrectionists endangering his life, we shouldn't expect him to thoroughly denounce the man who picked him as vice president, but he's certainly got a vested interest in the party moving in a different direction.

Yes, he does. That's what he's always putting it. You do, but why would the voters? They like it. They're all in on it. This is all premised on fantasy. It is over. That era is dead.

That politics is extinguished. If you are not embodying every momentary, hemorrhoidal flare-up of the Republican consciousness, you are not going to make any headway because they don't give a shit about any of that stuff. And you're fucking Mike Pence. You're the guy who stood in the way of Trump challenging the phony election. And they all think the election was rigged. The last one of this is really great. It says the hard part is facilitating that without completely alienating the Trump backers

he'd need in 2024. He already has alienated them. The alienation is that where do you think he has an option to not alienate them? He terminally and critically and forever alienated them. That madness! Democrats would have to pass a bill in key states, making it to illegal to vote if you're white if you don't have a New York Times subscription. If only New York Times subscribing Americans.

Hell, anybody who subscribes to a newspaper, maybe, were allowed to vote, then yes, he would win. But that's not what happened. I'm like, okay, Pence's previous ranking was three, so he's holding steady at three. I don't understand how he can be in the top five. How he can be anywhere. The hard part is facilitating that without completely alienating the Trump backers he did.

How is he above it? They have been alienated. Yes. It's done. It's done. Once again, one direction, moving in one direction. They had the election, the premise was established. This is fake.

We need to overturn these results. That's the right thing to do. Mike Pence refused to do it. He is the traitor. He is the fucking Judas Iscariot of the whole fucking Mac Movement, which by the way, everyone could kind of see coming. I remember going to the RNC in Cleveland right after they announced Pence as the VP, sweating my balls off in this park with a bunch of infowars people, and I overheard them talking

about Pence and they're like, I mean, he seems like he's sort of deep state. He seems like he's establishment, but you know, he also helps with the evangelicals. They were doing the same sort of compromise that all the sappy liberals do whenever some fucking gargoyle is brought in for the Democratic party. Like say, I don't know, Joe Biden as VP in two in 2008. Hey, I thought you were against the Iraq war. Well, what's this fucking foreign policy gargoyle who helped start it doing on your ticket? Oh, it's for it's because we got to establish our foreign policy bonafides or or fucking

team came. Yeah. And so he was like, he wasn't, he was never part of the family. He was never a real one. He was always a stop to the to the establishment. And when the time came, what did he do? He betrayed them. All right.

The top two. Yeah. This, this is always just a C above and like this is just basically a number two Donald Trump and number one, Ron DeSantis, Trump's previous ranking, number one, DeSantis previous ranking, number two. Whoa. The top two spots. Now this, this is news here.

This is the illusion of news here. This is something to talk about people. This is content, baby. So Ron DeSantis leapfrogging Donald Trump into the number one spot according to Washington Post for the strongest Republican contender for 2024. All right. So like, like here, here is something that's actually like of note. There's actually a real possibility is that like, for instance, I think today, Alex Jones

just endorsed Ron DeSantis and it seems like some, like, you know, people are all assuming Trump was going to run. I mean, I know we are. Oh yeah. He's, he's, he's essentially leaked it, the press several times that he's already made the decision and he's just picking a day. I guess the interesting thing with this is like, I, I, I thought, I thought DeSantis, it's just a matter of like their Republican party is just like, they need an option B

right in case Trump is, you know, indicted or, you know, I mean, it's possible to imagine actually happening, but it, I guess you have to plan for all contingencies. But I think like that planning is taking on a life of its own. I think DeSantis really feels that like this is his moment. Yes. You know, I'm like, it does. It's because he's not that bright. I think a lot of the, um, Republican media is would just, would, would kill to do anything

other than have to defend Donald Trump over and talk about him over and over and over again. I just, you know, he's not one of them either. Yeah. No, no, no. Absolutely. Uh, I honestly kind of think that DeSantis is still a less good choice for the Republicans than Trump because they think what they think is there's all this baggage about the election

theft and all that shit and his just residual scandals and the whole, like the threat of a loss of democracy and all that, but again, that stuff that's mostly being assimilated and processed by people who are still invested in these institutions and structures, which is not going to be your average Republican primary voter. They don't really care about any of that stuff. So Trump is able to appeal to a non politicized audience of people who are largely alienated from our institutions who don't really care about that stuff. He comes across still after, even after being president in all the culture wars, he comes

across as more economically and in some cases socially moderate than the Republican party in general. Yeah. And that is appealing to a lot of people and DeSantis, if he gets in there, he is just the Republican party. Yeah. He is the Republican party and its entire cultural war obsessions and its economic agenda. And he cannot have the same or a heterodox appeal to a general election audience that

Trump does. And, you know, like, yeah, like he is, like as governor, like he's clearly running for president. And by doing like the right wing internet story of the week and like legislating to that agenda, like I'm going to put PTSD veterans as make them teachers, you know, like we're going to put trans kids in jail because, you know, we're going to make it illegal to teach like the history of slavery in schools. Like this is where you got to look at them and you're like, this guy's either a genius

or he's a fucking idiot. Either way, he is riding a wave that I don't think he fully understands. But like, so once Trump, once Trump establishes the new terrain of the Republican party and its relationship to media and, and, and it's, it's relationship to its base as like, oh, this isn't about policy anymore. We've all, we don't care about that anymore. This is about raw emotional response. That's what we want out of our politics.

And Trump provided them with this catharsis that they'd never had before and they don't want to give up. And so if he wants it again, that's why without DeSantis there, it looks like there's nobody who could even sniff it. But what DeSantis does understand at some primordial level is that, okay, if the way that you can get traction is through like being involved with people's, being emotionally involved with like the traumas, the culture wars, you have to make news and Trump could make news by being Trump.

You're just some asshole in Florida, but you are the governor of a state. So if you can make news that is just, Hey, what are you not? What are you mad about? CRT? We're banning it. What's, what's this stuff? Uh, uh, uh, grooming? No more.

A Disney, you hate that? We're getting rid of them. And just every time there's a new cycle, it doesn't matter if he is to associate himself with it. And it's like, like the Disney thing, it doesn't matter if these policies or things go anywhere. They dropped out immediately. Like it's, he got the headlines for the week. Headline.

You're mad about the Santas is dealing with. Yeah, exactly. And that is like, he is becoming a celebrity through action, but he's still way, way, way behind Trump though. Well, I mean, you disagree with the Washington Post, like Trump should obviously be in the number one spot. And cause, you know, I mean, I think like they think that like he's going to be dinged by this, like, you know, the many investigations and like, you know, but I sort of feel like

the way you do is like, I think like the entire American system, like our legal and political system is in a fucking suicide pact with the presidency. And like you cannot, well, for no matter what he did, you cannot indict a sitting or former president for the crimes and committed in office. Can't do it. No matter how blatant. It's a red line. Yeah, exactly.

Because the job is doing crimes. Yeah. You're asking these people to publicly commit mass murder for four years and then step down and live the rest of their life. You can't ask people to do that with that risk out there. So that, that is a, that is a precedent that can't be defeated. I mean, I think they're hoping and while obviously everyone is hoping the Trump isn't the nominee, which by the way is a thing that's going to help get him the nomination.

Yeah. These guys are hoping he won't be the nominee. I don't think some of them might delusionally think he's going to get indicted, but I think that even the realists among them assume that there will be, as I said, this miasma that will drag him down. I mean, I think I think like, I think I've been seeing like a lot of people wish casting for, yes, is that Biden pardons Trump, that he is convicted, but Biden pardons him to heal the nation and bring them together.

So like, you know, as someone who was pardoned of a crime, can you still run for president? Okay. So this is very interesting because you are explicitly barred from getting from seeking the presidency or I think any elected office, if you've been, if you are successfully ruled from office after being impeached, which is a big argument that a lot of the people had who really wanted to push harder right after the January 6th, like immediately do impeachment, like that night. Yeah.

And I got to say, if they'd held the vote that night, they might have got somewhere. It's possible because those guys were actually scared out of their fucking minds. They were terrified and they had no idea what the media was going to respond. And they were all like in the air like, oh, and they were all saying that it was horrifying because they, they were absolutely spooked. But the thing is, Democrats cannot act that way. It's constitutionally impossible for them. They missed the shot if they had one.

And now it's gone. I'm sorry. It's gone. So sorry. Nobody cares. Old news. And I really just, I, I just don't think that that's true. I think they want it to be true.

I think that every thing about every story about this fucking raid and about the investigation just gets Republican voters more on his side. Yeah. I remember Rick Perlstein said that he did a panel with some like, like hardcore movement conservative intellectuals about Nixon and Perlstein was like talking about all his horrible crimes and how he like had genuinely like transgressed in, in, in unprecedented ways over certain things. And one of the panelists said to him, I didn't like Nixon until Watergate.

And I feel like even if you kind of want to move beyond the election, if you're sick of hearing about it, which I think that was honestly the thing that might have hurt Trump is just people not wanting the whole election to be about the last election, they were just wanting him to move on. Now they got something to move on to that casts him as the once again, as the persecuted victim of the combined forces of the FBI stormtroopers and the media and the Democratic Republican and the establishment of the, he validates every one of their conceived beliefs about how things work every day that he's investigated.

I mean, it's just like this whole list and like, and you know, one more thing I want to say about the Santas is interesting. It's sort of similar to Donald Trump. I have noticed that he has started to try talking like Trump and I saw an image of him today at the turning point USA. He was standing in real normal like Trump, exceedingly normal standing. And I have to say that was elite level sort of like, you know, like arms sort of leaning forward, slightly bent at the waist, like like a little fitting suit.

Yeah. Sort of like an action figure in the box. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's still in the original plastic.

Yeah. And it's still down, but I'm sorry. We said this earlier. I know the world music. I guarantee you, DeSantis is trying to like somehow arrange it to like fake an FBI raid of the governor's mention. He needs, he needs something to, this is a thing where he can't make the news because this requires some sort of reaction that he is not run afoul of, you know, so he's going

to have to have somebody like take a shot at him or something. Like seriously, he's going to have to get some antifa to like, try to shoot him, uh, Bob Robert style. Yeah. Because otherwise, how does he stay in the news? If all the news is about Trump, then he defines the issue and it's very much harder for him to stand out. I think that this stuff actually makes Trump even more of a

fucking, uh, uh, front runner. I guess like, yeah, like the whole thing of this list is that it's just like, once again, it's the establishment media wish casting, trying to create through sort of like, like the secret yeah, to sort of conjure a reality where things can go back to normal, where that the Republican party will be normal, normalize, it will be nice and normal, and like, and just like to, to, to create and kind of craft and sort of conjure into

being a reality where Republican voters are not 100% united behind my president, your president, still president, Donald J. Trump, the eternal president, yes, the God emperor. He is now and forever has been our president throughout time and space. Um, is there anyone though that was not mentioned in this top town that you think, you know, like, they should mention eight of these motherfuckers.

They should not have mentioned eight of these motherfuckers. So there's absolutely nobody else who should be in the conversation. It's just, this is a closed primary. You got maybe one other, you got a one in what six chance that fucking things fall right for DeSantis. But I honestly feel like if Trump does run, he's got it. I think the only scenario that the most likely scenario of

DeSantis wind is not beating Trump in a primary, it is Trump getting spooked by the investigation and basically bluffed off of the post and he might actually let that happen. Well, like, I mean, similar to Mike Pence needing to be president to avoid being hanged for treason. Um, do you think that Trump feels like he has to become president again to avoid going to prison? Honestly, it's getting indicted or something like that.

He is, he is apparently at every step of this. He has been more afraid of like actually, I mean, he just pleaded the fifth, then he really should have the tax simply because he is too dumb to really recognize the actual implications of what he has done because all he wanted to do was be in the news all the time. He just wanted to be on TV. That's why he ran for president.

He just wanted to be the only thing that was on television. Well, I mean, he achieved that goal. Exactly. But he's still living it. But now like at the scrutiny, exactly. So it's like, it's like, once they start looking at your tax returns and shit, you know, like that, that's not what he wants. And for like, he got in there and at every moment they, he

called their bluff and they backed out. And so he just operated off of that premise that there was no bluff he couldn't call. And maybe now I don't know, it's all in his head and I don't know who his advisors are. He definitely has a bunch of cucks in there with him in his ear, like Ivanka, they might be telling him and they might convince him to go against his gut.

Like there are several times in his presidency where his gut told him, and I agree with his gut that he could have crossed the line, but the people around him basically convinced him that it would have been too much blowback. He, and he ended up kind of not really going as far as he could, not honestly, obviously not with any policy because he didn't care about policy, but just in terms of extending his personal dominion, you know, an ability to defy an order that is so largely

dependent on unspoken and unwritten rules that he just ignored. And that's what terrifies them. And the thing about DeSantis is, yes, he's every bit as much of a cultural or a psycho. He's way more of a cultural or a psycho than Trump is, but he's a politician at the end of the day. He owes his career to the Democrat or to the Republican party and to the media, the machine, the establishment,

however you want to define it, just like with Pence, he is not, he does not have an independent identity and source of power that Trump did, which is his celebrity. Let's do a lightning round here because Washington Post also has some, like, also mentioned, you know, these chups. Okay. Let's do this. He didn't even make the top 10.

Let's do a lightning round here. Senator Marco Rubio. Insane. Little Marco, get him out of here. Little Marco, get the fuck out of here. He got washed for a second. Marco's going nowhere. Senator Josh Hawley, should Josh Hawley a puff?

He's a puff to absolute. Yeah. Senator, if you're running away, give me out of here. Get him out of here. Senator Ben Sass also get out of here. No, then zero. Senator Tom Cotton, same as he previous to lose her. See previous to these fucking chumps.

Who, who, where do you think you live? What year is this? Lynn Cheney. She just got turfed out of her own seat. Her family's fucking hereditary seat in Wyoming. New Hampshire Governor Chris Sununu. Oh, yeah. Sununu fever is catching.

Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson. Never heard of him. Never heard of this guy. We love our asa. Don't we? South Dakota Governor Christy L. Noem. Oh, we love her.

Oh, she's kind of a dine. She's kind of hot, though. That's the thing is Christy. Noem is hot. She could be a lucky like VP. Maybe she's called a culture warrior hot lady. Yes, I would say it's OK. If there is anybody but Scott, I still think it's going to be Scott.

But I could, if not, Noem is a good VP material, too. Maryland Governor Larry Hogan. So no, no, no, he's a fatty. No, he is a fatty. He's bald. And again, he's the moderate Republican. They wanted to come to their senses, Texas Governor Greg Abbott. A cripple loser wheeling his house around.

I like people who don't get crushed by trees. And finally, former New Jersey Governor Chris Christy. He spent he spent he spent 40 what he spent two years at the White House as an Ottoman. Like they used him to put their feet up on. Like, what was he there for? Just to observe the abuse. He was a fucking beanbag.

Share like it's like Trump has like foreign dignitaries or like foreign leaders, like, you know, none Yahoo or since Oabe comes to the White House. And he's like, he makes Chris Christy walk into the oval. Crawling the Oval also on all fours and lets them put their feet up on his back, like human furniture. Yep. Yeah, I mean, it could be that of a dog ball. Oh, I'm sorry.

He didn't even get to be a fucking beanbag chair in the Oval Office because Jared wouldn't let him into the administration because he threw his dad at dad in jail. Jared, again, big fat mix who got owned by Jared Kushner. Your number, you are any getting any ever getting anywhere near power. Yeah. These this list is just they are huffing gasoline because and you know what part of it is they do desperately want Trump not

to be on the ballot even again. It makes their tummy hurt. But also they don't want to just if the story is as it is, if the if the reality is given as we should really be understanding it, which is this is at best a two person race. Well, then what are you going to talk about? Yeah, what's what's this going to get people? What's going to get people going?

And the thing is, it's true, it's it's the it's cotton candy. You can't beat it. It's great. It's sports. Well, to move on, I think I look at sort of the later side of the news. Yes. So of that, I think our show has been fairly consistent when it comes to where we fall in the war on bugs. Absolutely. Kill them all. Get rid of them. No more. However, Matt, the only good bug is a dead bug.

I'm doing my part. Yeah. Matt, however, in New York state, there are some people who are taking the side of the bugs. Okay. It is because courtesy of the New York Times, in the lanternfly war, some take the bugs side. Wow. So I'm from Brenos area. So I say, kill them all. Yeah, this is a little disturbing.

You're talking about like genuine species trees in here. Even as the invasive pests spreads across 11 states and threatens agriculture, lanternflies are winning sympathizers who resist kill on site orders. Who are these sickos? What kind of weirdos are we talking about? Well, the New York Times, thankfully, is going to tell us who they are. And unfortunately, not their addresses and phone

numbers. Seriously, we need to find out where these people are. New York Times here, this is, you know, a different take on the war on bugs. It begins, when Lee Weiss 31 sees a spotted lanternfly, an invasive pest so voracious that it is the target of several officially sanctioned smash on site campaigns, he acts swiftly. He scoops up each crim, he scoops each crimson creature up, then he carefully hides it from any would be assassins. So this guy's hiding lanternflies like fucking Anne Frank or

something. And I'm like, OK, so he says, the target of several officially sanctioned smash on site campaigns. I'm sorry, I thought all bugs were like, you were officially sanctioned to smash them on site. Is there is there any bug that is like protected by the dangerous species acts or you can't just step on it or swat it if it's in your house? Well, that's the thing is that obviously it's legal to kill all bugs.

This is different. They're saying now they're saying like, yeah, it is your duty. Yeah, it is your civic duty. This is the big reason like pythons in Florida. Here's the reason that this is a story because this is not just like a watch out for these guys or these aren't good. This is actually telling people, hey, you have an actual civic duty. Responsibility of citizenship involves killing these bugs. And that is for a lot of people too much to be asked.

We are far too alienated from our institutions to take on that level of fealty to them that we're going to carry out their actions to squash bugs. Now that's the thing. A lot of people will do this happily because, hey, squashing bugs, it's fun. Gonna have a good time. Fuck the bugs.

And I get to feel like a good person. But for some people who think it's gross, they would rather create a fantasy moral world where they're doing the right thing rather than just doing their civic goddamn duty as goddamn citizens of this country trying to trying to live for Christ's sake. How about as human, as human beings for crying out loud, help us out, put in a fucking hand.

Mr. Weiss is among an emerging group of conscious and subjectors to the open season on the insect. Just go to Canada. Seriously, my country, love it or leave it as well. There are reasons differ. Some are vegans who find killing pests wrong. The lantern fly. Okay.

Others doubt the threat lantern flies pose or have been repulsed by the glee surrounding lantern fly annihilation. So they're like lantern fly truthers. Yeah, they're just like, no, like they're fine. They're actually good for the agricultural crops. It's wonderful. We love them. And my favorite group, some people are faced with a flurry of

lantern flies, despite years of dedicated squashing, and if it's just given up. So I mean, like, okay, like that's, that's the reasonable group. See, that's the one we're talking about. They're just like, I've surrendered to the bugs. Exactly. We're not going to get rid of them.

Our civic infrastructure, the thing that you're trying to get, enlist my help into, it doesn't exist. It's good effort after bad. I'm going to redirect my efforts elsewhere. And yeah, that is just a good moral, moral choice. It is not the evasion of a moral choice. Yes, exactly. These people are still another few think lantern flies are too

cute to kill the gray and red winged plant hopper from China. China. Not good folks from China to get rid of it. The, the gray and red winged plant hopper from China first showed up in Pennsylvania in 2014. It has since swarmed across at least 11 states, including New York, growing as an agricultural threat, particularly to grape harvests and fruit trees, according to the United States

Department of Agriculture. Several studies on the encroaching invasion have projected that lantern flies could do upwards of hundreds of millions of dollars of damage. While the infestation rages on the East Coast, scientific models have predicted that the bugs could spread across the country reaching California's wine country by the next day. Not good, by the delicious seven-yard, cabinet seven-yards.

It's so, they're so good. Well, if these cowards and traders in New York don't do their job, you know, you guys in California are going to be, you're going to be, you're going to be infested. There'll be no more wines. I need my wine, folks. Don't talk to me until I've had my wine. There's a California wine.

There's a California wine inspired by that same bug excellence. The bugs are being prevented in the bottles. Oh, the bugs. Oh, the lantern flies. They're crawling on my skin. That's my impression of Orson Welles as a crystal meth addict. Oh, the bugs. They're under my skin.

There's a California crystal meth inspired by that same Mexican excellence. To fight back, state and local officials in infested areas have enlisted their constituents in a anti-lantern fly militia. Authorities in battlegrounds, such as New York, New Jersey and in particular, Pennsylvania, the insects apparent ground zero have framed the campaign against the creature as an act of civic duty. Yes. Where is Betterman and Dr. Oz on this?

How come? Is this an issue in the campaign? I'd like to see them weigh in on this. Well, I mean, this is this isn't a real thing. This is just they made up a story. I mean, even if these are all real people who are talking like and have an earnest beliefs about this, you're talking about such a small group of people that this isn't functionally real story. Yeah, you can kill lantern flies all you want in Pennsylvania,

but you can't get a fucking beer on Sunday. Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. Calls to action to civilians to stamp out the invaders literally have been enthusiastically met in New York, Brooklyn summer campers, engage in lantern fly hunts in the state park and end the state park preserve on Staten Island, hosted a squishathon in 2021. This is literally Starship Troopers. Yes, this is kids just stepping on bugs.

Everyone's doing their part. Are you? The war effort needs your effort at work at home in your community. Wacking day. Yeah. Wacking day. Last year, I knew Jersey woman through a lantern fly crushing pub crawl when Pennsylvania man developed an app that tracks users kills called squisher. All right, I'm starting to agree with the people we're going to see now. Why can't we have anything? See, here's the thing. It's a civic duty and there's the thing that we can't handle.

We cannot handle the duty part. We either like in a case like this, if we can have fun, scratching and squashing bugs, we will find a way to make it fun. But if we don't like that, then we'll find a way not to do it. Instead of just doing it as a civic duty. How about that instead of making it into a goddamn app for Christ's sake? Mr. Weiss, a former instructor of Buddhist philosophy who lives in Philadelphia, has not crushed a single lantern fly.

It's phrased in almost moral terms, said Mr. Weiss of the rallying cries gathering the forces against lantern flies. The Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture runs a hotline to report the bugs at 1-888-4-BAD-FLY and ask people to kill it, squash it, smash it, just get rid of it on its website. Okay, this is veering into dangerous elimination as a rhetoric. It's true. And that's the thing is I do feel like some people feel awkward about this because they feel like this is just the first step in moving towards treating people like that. You should not concede that they are, which is what you're doing.

You're right. You're right. That's going to make it easier to squash out. Yeah. It's like, no, draw the line. This is a good thing to do because they're bugs. They're not people. And like, and people, you know, like, and, you know, we like fruits and vegetables. We need them. We need them to live. So we're in competition with the bugs on this and one of us has got to go. Yes, triage, baby.

It says here holding up a picture of a spotted lantern fly like a wanted poster New York State Senator Chuck Schumer stood at a news conference near Central Park earlier this month calling for more federal funds to be used to fight the scourge. Again, I love it like Chuck Schumer is this is like the perfect Democrat politics and stuff. These are the, these are the angry press conferences he's giving about lantern flies. Yeah. Put a fucking, the Supreme Court justice is an unwanted poster and got people to wish them

parody parody in a video game. Yes. Imagine that we're happening in a video game. Perhaps the new Grand Theft Auto. In New York officials first spotted the lantern fly on Staten Island in 2020. Since then it has proliferated. Mr. Schumer said warning that leafy spots from Central Park to Long Island's wineries to the farms of upstate were at risk. The New York State Department of Agriculture and Markets has put out a hit

and asked the public to report any sightings of the bug or to dispatch them. All right. Here's where we get into some, some real abuse. Like the two incredibly annoying people that they found to front the anti lantern fly elimination. The fake non-story isn't real. But I mean, come on. Yeah, it's so funny.

It's okay. Jody Smith, 33, a software developer, has so far declined. Mr. Smith is vegan, yet not an absolutist. He will exterminate cockroaches in his apartment. Oh, interesting. Very interesting. When it's affecting you personally. Yeah, all of a sudden there's no more, there's no more objection,

only when it's other people and their crops. He's a vegan. He should care about more than anyone about fruits and vegetables. Yeah. Interesting. Because, you know, I barely eat salad at all, you know. So he's basically willing to impose like a castle doctrine, like libertarian non-aggression principle thing.

We're like, well, as long as you're outside of my domicile, my arbitrarily determined fake property, then I can do whatever I want to you. That is, that's literally the basis of libertarian capitalist morality. Congratulations. Well, I mean, this guy is a software developer. There we go. So, I mean, draw your own conclusions. But the state endures bloodlust when it comes to lantern flies,

and the sense that they're disposable makes him uncomfortable. If someone was like, oh, we have to kill all the Pomeranians, people might feel a lot differently about it. I mean, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Smash them. Smash them. Crush them.

No, they're cute. Those guys are cute. They're so stupid looking. They're little faces. They're always like, they're a little less mild. They look so stupid. No, I forget it. If we're going to, if we're going to do eliminationism,

Danny, read a dog. You know which one is first on the chopping block. Which one? Pit bulls. Oh, God. Pit bulls. I mean, if you see one, if you see one is your duty. Like half the country is there already.

You need to get in a kinetic situation immediately. We do have places where there are basically kill-on-site orders for pit bulls in this country. And I guess, like, somebody is like, oh, if we have to kill all the Pomeranians, people might feel differently. Well, yeah, killing a dog is massive, massive bloodletting of dogs.

Oh, yeah. What is the purpose of this? I'm sorry. That is different than insects. Yes, it's a different thing. If we were just going around with hammers, smashing toy poodles on the street, that would be disturbing.

It's an offense to the senses. Because of its gratuity. Yes. It is gratuitous. This is not gratuitous. Yes, some people are trying to get some fun out of it because people need to have fun, or else they're going to kill themselves

at every moment of their lives. But it is not gratuitous. They have to go. A spokesman for Senator Schumer, Angela Rofaro, encouraged New Yorkers to keep on smashing. He would not entertain misgivings like Mr. Smith's. Individuals who feel that way can report them to New York State or look away.

Though, I mean, I think you should take a stronger stance against these traders. Honestly, it sounds like, yeah. What are you people bitching about? There's not even a criminal sanction associated with this. It's just your nacking conscience. Those tasked with protecting agriculture will say sympathy for the lanternfly is misguided.

We can understand the hesitancy to kill the spotted lanternfly, which appear colorful and harmless. Christopher Loog, director of plant industry for New York State Department of Agriculture and Markets, sat in an email. However, the damage this invasive species can do in harming important crops and impacting our food system is real.

He added, we just can't take the chance. Why take a chance? I mean. Why take a chance? I would agree with that. That's just how I feel. U.S. agricultural supply chain is doing so good right now. I think it could withstand a few lanternflies.

These people, you know what these people are? These are the people in the fucking zombie movie who won't shoot one of their family members. Yes, yes, yes. Everybody else gets killed. And like, they're like, like, like, you know, like it's like Paul, Paul, you're still there. Yeah.

Yeah. And then they bite them. And then they had to bite everybody at the entire fucking cabin burns to the ground. You have to destroy the brain. You got to kill the brain. Shoot them in the head. People for the ethical treatment of animals

offered a less than full third defense of the lanternfly. Look, if PETA is sort of like If you can't get them on board for your goofy fucking indulgent animal rights, please. Those bozos. The advocacy group did advise people, however, to carefully consider their actions if it involves killing any living being,

no matter how small or unfamiliar, said Katie Cryar, a PETA spokeswoman. But I mean, she's basically saying, carefully consider it, but take them out. Then kill them. Just kill it. But despite her distaste for the lanternfly, Karen Charles, 31, has gone out of her way to avoid harming them.

Ms. Charles, a YouTube content creator from Parlin in central New Jersey, was playing with her two year old daughter atop a playground slide when she found her way down the ladder blocked by two lanternflies. It was go down this slide or kill the bugs. And I don't want to stop on them. She said she essentially avoided playing with her child

to spare the lives of two flies that were on a slide. A freak. That absolute bozo. What is wrong with you people? What I got said lanternflies, RIP bozo. Pack watch. Stopping her was a mix of fear and pity, she said. They're creepy. I hate them,

but I feel a little bad for them. And for me, this is just like, what is this self loathing like reflected back on you? And you should not be identifying with an insect. I mean, yes, in a cosmic sense, of course, we're all connected and all part of a great chain of being. But from a practical perspective, the individual relationship between the human

and representative of the broader ecosystem and an individual fly, it's catastrophic. It's massive. Flies do not have any sympathy for you. No. Or anything else. They have no feeling. They have no pity, no mercy.

Yeah. It says, she ended up squeezing down the slide alongside her daughter. Okay. Aware that their opinions are unpopular, those championing lanternflies often do so in secret. Except more in the New York Times. Those two places, secretly,

or the biggest newspaper of the country. The resistance movement under the lanternfly underground. Catherine Bonner, 22, a Temple University student in Philadelphia, shares her lanternfly sympathies, how the red spots on their faces look like they are wearing blush, only with a few close friends. It's like that movie Mimic where like cockroaches

become mutated and start looking like people when they're like in their carapace or whatever. Oh, look, it's like one of us. It's wearing blush. Well, these people would obviously be very easily fooled by them. The bugs didn't ask to be invasive. They're just living their own lives, Ms. Bonner said.

Yeah. And so are we. Yeah. I would be bummed if I suddenly started existing somewhere. I wasn't supposed to exist and everyone started killing me for it. Yeah. Like that would be bad.

Yeah. Because you are a person and you could not be a lanternfly. This is true. It's true. It's just like people are just like, like if we can, like there's projecting like all these human moral values onto insect species, Yeah.

which is sort of, is disturbing in its own right because it just, if the life of a human is equivalent to that of a lanternfly, 99.9% of the population, if they like accept that, is a moral proposition. Yeah. We'll have no problem killing either of them. It's true. You are the ones equating insects and people here.

That it cannot be emphasized enough. It says an invasive species. He's like colonizer. She's already an invasive species in this continent. She's, she, wait, lady, hold on. Yes. Indeed. She is.

Boom. Colonizer. Colonizer, invasive species. Get out of here. Yet even an ardent fan, Ms. Bonner likes to hold them and take them for rides in her palm. All right. All right.

Juno from the film Juno. Is ambivalent about her advocacy. I feel like I'm evil saying this because I know they are so bad for the environment she added. Just good. Can people just like, it's just, they can't even be weird without questioning their weirdness and just sort of like, yeah. The wicked.

I'm saving these lanternflies, but I feel, I feel bad killing them. But I also feel bad because they're harming other people. And I just like, get into like this moral merry-go-round where it's just like there's no way off this carousel. That is what the cause of the mania of confession that we have. Yeah. The way that people feel the need to express all this stuff

that like is something really for you to deal with. But they may need to make it other people's problem because they need to hear that it's okay because they have no moral framework to actually make a decision because they are at the end of the day just narcissists as we mostly are in this country, in this world at this point. And we can only operate through a narcissistic lens, but that doesn't resolve these kinds of questions.

And so we have to just end up confessing the part of us that feels guilty because we were not able to just come to a decisive decision to do something. You know who or not the group that's not plagued by narcissism? Lantern flies. Lantern flies. That's true. Let's let them go in charge for a while.

How about we let a swarm of lantern flies be the Republican nominee in 2024? Lantern fly defenders argue that the widespread and costly destruction the bugs are supposedly capable of has not fully materialized. Oh, okay. It's not that bad. Let's just wait and see what happens. Never mind. It'll be all right.

Again, we have so much of a margin to work with right now. Lantern flies, for example, do not appear able to kill mature hardwoods, as initially feared. But Shannon Powers, a spokesperson, a spokeswoman for the Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture, said they are not to be underestimated. Some vineyards in Southeast Pennsylvania, as he said, have lost over 90% of their crops to the insect.

Vineyards looked like they had been burned to the ground, Ms. Powers said. And just how effective all the smashing is remains in question. Despite multi-year pro squash campaigns, the bugs seem almost unchecked and their numbers can have grown. Well, that's sort of the question I had in mind about all this, or it's like, even if every citizen of the country were to engage in a round-the-clock bug-smashing campaign,

where they find the bugs, smash them, kill them, destroy them, burn them, it's a bug species. This is a plague. There's nothing... I mean, I guess you could do your best. But come on, it's going to be easy. And this is where you can come to that moral conclusion. Just like, yeah, I've given up.

I have other things to do. And then, and the thing is, again, I respect it because it was come to through an honest, you know, process. You did not avoid the problem by retreating to some fake morality. This is totally situational, totally arbitrary, like that asshole who will kill cockroaches. And here's the thing, even if you want to talk about, like, oh, the dangers of this sort of thinking, you know,

how it might impact the way we deal with people, any minimally competent government of any kind of composition would do something like this, would try to stop these fucking bugs. Of course, most minimally competent governments wouldn't let it happen to the first fucking place. But we don't have one of those, which is why I could see it if people just stopped caring. Well, speaking of other people who have stopped caring,

Felix has checked in the chat here. He says, fuck, I'm sorry, I took a nap and slept through the alarm. It's fine. Smash them like a bug. We should smash them like a bug. We're doing the five pests campaign, folks. We're adding Felix. He's up there with the sparrows now.

It should be said, though, that that was a huge backfire and contributor to the massive famines of the Great Leap Forward was the four pest campaign in China. When they were like, get rid of all these sparrows. Like, why did they want to get rid of sparrows? Because they were a nuisance, basically. Who's ever been annoyed by a sparrow? They're a lot like seagulls.

Seagulls are annoying. They're annoying. Pigeons are annoying. They take your food and shit. Sparrows are just a lot. It was thought that they were a hindrance to some agricultural process. I don't know which specific one.

But when they were gone, it proved, oh, no, they were keystone to certain processes and they fucked up agricultural yields big time. But again, that's then. They didn't know no better. We know better now. The landed flies are not sparrows. OK. A 2021 study by researchers at Lafayette College

in eastern Pennsylvania indicated that eradication efforts focusing on the insect's ability to reproduce are among those most likely to make a dent. Yeah, like if there was some sort of chemical that could sterilize them or you could get them before they're born or for they're hatched or whatever. Geez, this sounds like a job for government. Sure would be useful if we had some body capable

of coordinating human activity in the most effective way possible towards a given end. That would be really great if we had one of those. Instead, we'd just have a bunch of bozos with apps telling people where to individually step on individual flies. Oh, there's been a mosquito sighting in your neighborhood. Go have Pokemon go to kill it. That's what they should do.

They should be like, make every lantern fly in the metaverse like a Snorlax or a Pikachu. If you smash them, you can upgrade your Pokemons. Yeah, exactly. Ann Johnson, a PhD student in the Department of Entomology at Pennsylvania State University who studies lantern flies, recommends traps or scraping off the grayish and masses of eggs they seem to lay on any surface they can find.

Yeah, get those eggs. Kill them before they're born. I don't like insects. I love them, she said. But the spot of lantern flies being here is our responsibility. It is up to us to fix it. Exactly, like we are the ones inflicting this on our poor environment.

Like those trees are people too, you know? Because I do believe the trees and humans and lantern flies are all related to one another meaningfully and intimately and spiritually. But if that's true, that has certain implications. And one of them is that you have to make moral choices about distinctions to figure out what matters most in the moment. So yeah, we'll leave it there for today.

Just like, you know, to all listeners, if you see a lantern fly, kill it. But more importantly, if you see their gray goo eggs, destroy that. That's the most effective way of getting rid of the lantern flies. We're putting a brick out there on lantern flies. We're putting stacks. Putting stacks out on a lantern fly.

Stacks out on lantern flies. Well, yeah, so I think we'll leave it there for today's show. Thank you to Matt. Fuck you to Felix. Oh, I was just kidding. We love Felix. We love Felix. We love Felix.

Folks, he's a worm. I don't like. Yeah, get rid of that. Get rid of that. Get rid of that and smash that fucker. Yeah. But yeah, until next time, guys. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.