Chapo Trap House - 658 - Felix’s Video (8/29/22)

Episode Date: August 30, 2022

We start off the ep with some Movie Mindset interrogation of Felix’s current viewing habits. Then, a look at a re-energized Joe Biden and the outlook of both the Dems and Republicans as we round the home stretch into the midterms. Then, we finally address a bit of pressing international news we’ve been neglecting, namely, if the Finnish PM is cool or nah. If you are listening to this podcast you are legally required to come to our live shows: https://www.chapotraphouse.com/live And purchase our new merch: https://chapotraphouse.shop/

All right. Greetings, friends. Star date, Monday, August 29th. It's Chapo coming at you before we start the show today. I thought I would plug at the beginning of the show because I fear some of you are not getting plugged up enough. Beginning with our fall tour. Just got to remind everybody, I'm going to run it down here. Cities, dates, locations. October 1st, we are going to be in Chicago, Illinois at the Vic Theater. October 8th, we will be in Los Angeles, California at the Theater at the Ace Hotel. October 14th, we will be in New York City at Town Hall Theater. And on October 30th, we will be in Fort Lauderdale, Florida at Revolution. These are the biggest venues we have ever booked. So we're relying on

you, the Chapo Faithful, to come through and, you know, see Chapo Live. They're going to be musical acts and special surprise guests at each of these dates. So please, once again, reminder, come out, check out us live. Tickets available at ChapoTrapHouse.com slash live. Will D.B. Cooper show up and reveal himself, perhaps? Yes. If we don't sell these shows out, I will have a Michael Richards incident. If we do sell these shows out, I will have a Michael Richards incident. If we sell out some of them, I will have a Michael Richards incident. I will be debuting a new character that's a combination of Louis C. K. and Dane Cook. There you go, folks. You have your marching orders. ChapoTrapHouse.com

slash live. But wait, there's more. That's right. If you go to ChapoTrapHouse.shop, you can check out our latest merchandise drop featuring, of course, the much sought after Zapata offshore oil hats. We've got a bunch of stuff. We've got Zapata t-shirts and hoodies. We've got Carousel Club. We've got anti-ADHD Federal Task Force windbreakers. A lot of cool shit at our merch drop. So, please, everyone who asks us for merchandise, you've got to come to your live show. You've got to buy the merch. That's what you have to do. I'm afraid you're required. I'm sorry. Okay. Market research shows that a lot of you were removed from a C-section type situation at birth and they used a now recalled type of sort of barbecue tongs and it

greatly affected the size, the shape and size of your head. It was sort of a peanut shape or even worse yet, a cashew shape. It was just, it was, the soft spot was forever molded. You can no longer grow your head. You can no longer get like sort of a Prince Valiant cut to hide this because you're now in your 30s. But what better way to hide it than a Zapata offshore hat? Oh, what's that? We're almost sold out of that? Well, for the first time ever, we have a second hat. That's right. With the Air America hat. You can finally convince people you are a drug dealer instead of just a drug buyer. There you go. And way, I'd just like to underscore again, everything in our merchandise store is USA Union Printed. So, you know, I mean, and if you don't

buy, if you don't buy enough of them, we will, like Delix said, we will be offshoring all our merchandise printing to countries that have no government. Yeah. Do you remember when Tom Delay had a factory in one of those countries that like, you know, 20,000 US Marines died one day in 1943 fighting against the Japanese army? And now it's just, it hasn't had a government since then. America was like, okay, you're going to be a state but worse. It's illegal to pay anyone who lives here more than 17 cents an hour to make linen bedsheets for Tom Delay. Well, we'll fucking move to that. You know, this will be the last line we ever make. This will be, let's put it this way. This is the last time we'll ever make by factory employees who can afford to have electricity as a result of

their employment if you don't show up. Their lives are in your hands, dude. Yeah. Do you want to be, do you want to be the hot girl from Fast and the Furious who like makes Ludacris and his friends race? Yes. By putting, that's what you're doing in the global race to the bottom in wages if you don't buy these. Oh, but like if you buy the Zapata Offshore hat, you could still be the hot girl from Fast and Furious that like, you know, starts the race. You could be wearing it, you know, you'll have some like sort of cut off jean shorts, and you'll be actually dropping one of our Zapata oil t-shirts or Carousel Club hoodies to start the drag race. You could even be the low IQ, possibly to the point of being categorized and, you know, let's just say he could not be executed.

The main protagonist from Fast and the Furious 2, the one that takes place in Japan. You could be him. That's Fast and Furious 3. That's Fast and Furious 3. Tokyo Drift. Tokyo Drift. Oh, Tokyo Drift. Oh, yeah, I guess because it was too fast if here is than Tokyo Drift. Okay, well, that's actually the only one I've seen, believe it or not. It's the best one. It's the best one. Yeah, it is cool that it's like, his family is like, you have to go to Japan because of how pissed you are. You have to go to Japan. Yeah, you got in trouble here in America doing car racing. And they're like, enough of this. It's not to shape up. We're sending you to military school in Japan. Yeah, you're going to go study with this amazing church we found. It's founded by Korean men. You're so pissed.

Oh, Fast and Furious. Tokyo Drift. Good. But hey, let's start off the show with pop culture gripes. Things that are bad. Boys, this new Gambo. P-U. Oh, throw this one in the trash. My question is, where's the Gambo? Who's Gambo? I have no idea who Gambo is supposed to be in the show. The annoying girl, the ugliest man in human history. I don't know who the fuck Gambo is. Right now, you know, look, Gambo has not been established yet. But like, if there is a Gambo on the show, I'm thinking it's like the black dude with white dreadlocks. He seems pretty Gambo-y. The sea snake, you know, he's got a cool name. In fact, he's the only character whose name I remember. I don't know. I don't know the names of anyone on this show. I don't know who they are.

I don't fucking care. Just an hour of, like, I, it is a king's duty to take a wife. I, marry, I must. It's like, oh, God, it's just a daughter and her dad just being like, are you going to be married after mom died? And he's just like, I, but I still love you. Get this shit out of here. Bring back Rome. It sounds like an unfunny Alexander Payne movie. Yes. Yes. That's exactly what it is. I will say that the one thing I do enjoy is Patty Considine as the King Viserys, who they really well portray as just a total stork who doesn't know what he's doing. And one of the crowd models of that is that he built, he has built for him because he's the king. He's not building anything. He has built for him little models of King's

landing and old Valeria that he just kind of stands around and fusses over. I like that. Yeah. Alexander Payne's the royal descendants. Yeah. No, it is, it looks brutal. I haven't, I have not watched it. I've been, as you guys know, I've actually brought, I've actually bought a projector. Yes. Yes. I've watched a couple of movies on it. Mostly, let's be honest, okay, I've mostly watched YouTube documentaries that are like the biggest sexual predator in the Minecraft community. The type of thing I usually watch, but I have watched quite a few movies and TV shows. Lay some movies down, Felix. What do you watch? Okay, I actually watch, I watched Vice two nights ago. I watched The Seventh Continent, actually. I'm realizing

I have to buy a DVD player because, you know, digital media is fucked up. I did a rewatch of Field in England. I'm actually, I have blackout shades coming soon so I can use this more during the day. But I have not watched this because it seems like a show that would be like a running gag in a later season of 30 Rock. Like Tracy Morgan would be in the show that he made his own fantasy show. It looks really shit. Okay, I need to address something because I don't know if you, if, you know, you just dropped it and just kept going. But Felix, you are constantly surprising me with your pop culture fixations. And chief among them right now, I could never have guessed this in a million years, is Michael Hanneke. You know what? It makes sense. I feel

like Knausgaard is the gateway to Hanneke. Okay, I know. I thought about it for a second and it makes sense to me too. Okay, The Seventh Continent is a movie that depressed me for longer than any other movie I've ever seen after watching it. Spoiler alert. It's about a, based on a true story of an Austrian family who locks themselves inside their house and then kills themselves. But see, Felix, it makes sense that you would find an interest in Austrian French filmmaker Michael Hanneke because you're not a movie head. Like the thing is like, yes, he is a very artistic, high level director, but he makes movies for people who hate movies. He makes movies to punish his audience. And I think as someone who doesn't like movies, I think that's why you like it.

Dude, you watch Benny's video. In a billion years, I could not have fucking come up with it. That would be on your radar. It's a great movie. Okay. Because it's a movie that's like all of his movies telling you you shouldn't be watching a movie right now. Yes. And Felix is like, you're right. I shouldn't. Whereas I was like Ian Will. We're like, no, movie magic, please shut up. Stop reminding me that this is bad. Why are you doing this? I do. There are movies I love and I will, okay, I'm going to watch Con Air and Lotless Boy Scout next time I tell you. Okay, now we're talking. But I do, I've been enjoying movies way more than like I ever have. Partly due to technological reasons, partly due to me maturing as a man. But I like Hanneke. I don't, okay,

maybe a little bit. I like his messages that movies are bad. But I, it's more like, I mean, it's, I like that type of artist. Like I like NASCAR, like Hanneke. I love Herzog. I mean, everyone, everyone loves him. But I like sort of Northern European dower moralists. There's something like fun about that to me. I don't know why, because I think it's because it's like most American. So after watching VEEP, I've been developing this comprehensive theory about American TV and movies, that there's like a certain level of American-ness in it you need, if it's going to keep running. Americans are supernaturally optimistic and stupid. But sometimes that, that's what makes us able to make like the best possible TV. You know, the baseline of British

TV is higher, but we're able to achieve higher heights because, because we just put like a little bit, the right amount of shittiness into something that they're incapable of doing. You need a little bit of manure in there. Yeah, exactly. How else are the trees going to grow, or is the bomb going to go off? But I do, like, it's a refreshing change of pace when something is just completely like depressing and the moral. It's not quite like Ulster Protestantism, where it's like everyone's bad except me and maybe you for watching this. It's German moralism, where it's just like everyone's bad. And it treats you like an adult. It doesn't have to dandel you on its knee the way that American film has to, because like, oh, is he getting fussy? Oh,

no. Oh, we can't have that. They give you a little pacifier at the end. I predict if, when you run through Hanukkah, I predict at some point a Bergman moment for a few years. Oh, wow. You're going to get the Bergman at some point. I can foresee it already. I just don't like how, I mean, those, I've never seen any of those, right? Yeah, what don't you like about Bergman? Well, it's, I don't know this for a fact, but it seems like they're practically silent movies, which like, don't you agree that's a little bit of a problem? Like, I'm sure they're not, but it's like, okay, when you watch a movie, so much of those movies seem like they do not have audible dialogue or sounds. There's no slide whistle indicating something funny happened.

And that makes it, okay, wouldn't you agree that that makes it difficult to do the thing that we all love doing during movies? Kind of the reason we watch movies, you want to be doing stuff like reading the Wikipedia article for Frank Lautenberg while the movie's playing. We all do it. We all love doing it. Felix, you got some, Rick? You know what? I thought, I thought the same way about Bergman. And then I, I watched the seventh seal and it's very surprisingly lively. I got to tell you. It's a great entryway. You start with that. You want to watch more stuff. Start with your seventh seal, then throw on the hour of the wolf. It's like, it's only not even it's long. You'll be laughing. Good times had by all. But then next up on your

on your projector movie, movie marathon, have you seen Hennicka's code unknown? No, I haven't code unknown. It is a movie assembled of 42 single takes. There are only 42 edits in the movie. And man, oh man, if you'd like to feel uncomfortable and bad about yourself, watch that movie and then cachet. And if you watch that, are you like, are you seeing cachet? I love that one. Yeah. That one's fucking awesome. I assume you've seen funny games, Felix. I have that one. So I watched the first like the, the 2007 one rather, like a while ago. And obviously like, I didn't take to it super well. I watched it like pretty soon after it came out. It's pretty young. And I've like never really liked horror movies. And I think I had

like a stupid criticism of it. I was like, what was the point? You know, I thought, I thought you shouldn't be watching this in your bad person. That's right. I was too young to get that. And I really thought I was a budding movie. I thought I was like a very smart media intaker. And I was more so than my friends because I watched the Sopranos and I was like, no, they're all bad. Like the point is that, but that's like anyone can figure that out. I thought I was way smarter than I actually was for figuring that out. So, you know, when it came to time to see funny games and my horror friends were like, this is great because they're experiencing bad stuff. And I was like, what's the point? And I didn't get that the point was I'm the bad thing. The movies are

bad. That was too young. So I think that's due for a rewatch. Yeah. You should watch the American remake because to me, that's his like, that's the apotheosis of his career because he's been making these movies in French and German, you know, scolding the movie going audience. But you know, the European movie going audience isn't really who he's talking about because they don't make the market. The American movie going audience makes the market. And so all these movies are really about America, but he can't actually address them because they don't read fucking subtitles. So Americans finally give him money to do something in English. And he just does a shot for shot remake of his movie telling you that you should not watch violence on cinema. And it's bad to do

it. And it makes you bad if you do it. Yeah, he's the best person alive. One more, Felix. Have you seen The Piano Teacher? I've not seen that one. Okay. Again, extremely nasty movie. Extremely nasty. Very, very, very nasty lady. I'm going to start just just as a little joke, Felix, I'm going to just start sending you videos of your house, you know, just this little little clips. But like, you know, I'm just texting to you just outside your house, maybe inside your house, maybe while you're asleep. That's what my life is already like. And no, but then you'll invest, you'll investigate it. And it's just like, okay, who's doing this to me? It's the son of a guy you worked as a bouncer with in Minneapolis.

And like, and you you failed, you failed to have his back during a bar fight, and it's destroyed his life. And you're going to track him down. And then he's going to just, you know, top himself in front of you. Well, that's the thing is like, with cash, I was like, that is similar to my life, because I do get a lot of disturbing DMs, you know, where it's like, oh, you're spying on me. You made my mom have leukemia. You record me at my job. And then like, something even like, I get a lot of targeted individuals, but then they'll make it worse by being like, also, can you be on my podcast? Like they're combining people now. So that movie is similar to me, but I have to say, unlike in cash, if someone did kill themselves in front of me,

I'm such a self obsessed, I'm the perfect anarchy protagonist, if he ever makes a movie about me. I'm such a self obsessed person that if they did that, I would immediately, I would immediately be like, when is my Bloomingdale's order going to get here? When am I getting my new belt? I'm excited to get that. And then like whoever, you know, whatever, if a romantic partner was there with me, and that she'd be like, what do you want to talk about what happened? I'd be like, what? Oh, right. We met, we made a new friend today. Right. Do you, if I ordered food, would you want some? There's a soft serve place 20 minutes away, they say. Here we go.

Hanukkah, if you're out there listening, and I know he must be a fan of the show. American remake of Kesha starring Felix Peterman, and it's about a father and a son tormenting a popular content producer to get on there to for him to come on their podcast, or they'll kill themselves. Yeah, no. And that's already my life. Mr. Hanukkah, I would love to give you the worst interview of your career, where I ask you questions like, who's the hottest chick you've ever bagged? And if you could go to any super bowl, which one would it be? I love, I love upsetting women who I'm romantically linked with by playing your movies in front of them. You know, they're always like, can we watch the ace family? That's, by the way,

you may not know this. They're a horrible family on YouTube. I love them also. Felix, you're showing Hanukkah movies the dates? No, not yet. I've learned my lesson. I learned my lesson. I've like, listen, I made a lot of bong ups in movies that I've shown women. One time, this woman was like, as soon as dating was like, why don't you put something on? And I like put on casino and just watched all of it. I couldn't stop myself. I just, I really like that movie. You know, you could do worse. The first date I took Catherine on, I took her to a documentary about the Mongolian coal mining industry. No, I always think about that. That is such a Seinfeld b-plot. It's so good. She goes out to the theater and you're following her going,

I see couples coming here all the time. It would have been better if I just took her to a porn movie. I think in retrospect, it was a great move because it shows how strong the connection was. Good early test. Yeah. If it wasn't meant to be, that would be the end, right? Yeah. I think the next movie I took her to was the Chrome documentary about Robert Crum. And I was like, I was like, okay, I know. The Chinese Mongolian coal mining movie. Okay, that's one thing. Watch this movie for a preview of the future. It's like looking into a crystal ball. I mean, but like, you know, that was a very honest movie for you to take her to. It really was. Yeah, cards on the table. Yep. And, you know, we're still going strong. So,

must have done something right. Okay, boys, let's get into the news. Okay, first question for the panel. What cocktail of drugs is Joe Biden on? Tony Blankley, go. Felix has a theory. I'll let him go first because it seems like he's really studied it. So, I think that previously, they did something very democratic. They got too clever by half, and they're like, oh, you know, Dexys are a pro drug. They last 14 hours in your system. So, we're going to start them off with Roxy's. And then when those were off, we're going to take Dexys. And it's just too many moving parts, right? And that's why you got him sometimes in the morning, he'd be normal. But then by the end of the day, he would try to shake hands with a ghost

and then kiss a teleprompter. And I think like Ron Klein or someone, like one of the more capable people in there, right, was like, hey, dummies, back to basics. Percocet and monster rehab. Because you don't get too cracked out on monster rehab, but it's enough so you don't nod out on the pills. And that is why he is, he not only sounds as good as he did in 2018, which was his last pre-senility, pre-dementia period. Honestly, he looked great at that rally where he's like, why don't you wait and see or something weird, he said. Just you wait. He looked, didn't he look like good? And it's not hyperbole. The very survival of our planet is on the ballot. You're right. Your vote is on the ballot. Even the democracy. Are you ready to fight for these

things now? He looked sharp. His eyes, his eyes were all the way open, which hasn't been for a while. Sleepy Joe. Drifting down Sleepy Joe. They were popped up. And so yeah, there definitely feels like he's on something. If it's new or not, I don't know. I think it's notable that this is happening after his quote, bout with COVID. I think it's highly likely that he never had COVID and that they put him on ice so that he could recover. Because, you know, when they give him these cocktails, you can only put him on it for so long before it starts having diminishing returns and his body just can't handle the strain anymore. And then if you leave him in public, he gets progressively worse until you pull him. And they've done that several times already where they just

pull him off the stage. And then you don't see him for two or three weeks. And then he comes back. Maybe there's no new cocktail. Maybe it's just he's had a chance to get it out of his system and come at it again. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, like, I assume that the COVID thing was bullshit because he got another facelift. And I think there's a little bit of that going on here too. But I mean, it's a very Democrat thing, though, because like, you know, we're a couple of months out from the midterm elections. And that's when they give him the compound V. You know, that's that's that's when like, and you know, he shows up. By the way, that is why I predict that maybe after next week, you don't see him for the rest of September.

Honestly, yeah, I want to bring him out like all jacked up like, yeah, like October for the sell. But I think they can't run him at this RPM to Election Day. There has to be at least one more down cycle for him to recover or he's going to explode. Well, do you think that maybe it's a little like, obviously, we all know they're loading them up with shit. But do you think that like, okay, maybe it's the combination of drugs. But for the first really the first time the administration, because you remember for the first six months, super bump, like 60, 70% people are like, holy shit, I can turn off alerts on my president. Yeah, this actually is soothing and nice. Yeah. And then, you know, the wheels started to fall off. It could be that he feels reinvigorated

by notching some dubs. I mean, yeah, it's chicken and the egg thing, who knows, like maybe he is, he was just feeling the same thing everyone watching him was feeling just this despair and sense of driftlessness and hopelessness. And then, you know, he catches a wind and that's all it really is, you can't say he's doing anything, he's just floating in the whip breeze, and he catches an updraft. And it gives him sort of a native spark in addition to whatever fucking drugs they have them on. Because yeah, the approval rating I last saw now is back to where it was before the invasion of Ukraine and fucking like the gas price spike and the big jump in inflation. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's like, you know, it's the Democrat thing because look,

he's in campaign mode now. And he's coming out and he's showing a little bit of a little bit of piss in vinegar and people are going, oh, dark Brandon, you know, he's the prince who was promised. And, you know, like I just are people getting too blown away by essentially what is just a president campaigning for his party and doing the absolute bare minimum. I mean, I know the student debt relief thing, you know, people are happy about that. But it's just like, are people being a little too, you know, eager to believe, you know, and just just and be like, okay, hey, maybe he's not so bad, but like he's just he just wants you to vote for his same shitty party. But here's the thing. At the end of the day, everybody has to post, right?

Yes. Everybody has to post. Everybody has to have an opinion. You have to react to things. And if you aren't fully on board with the let's go Brandon, the unironic let's go Brandon agenda, like the whole cultural and political project of, you know, right opposition to Biden, what are you supposed to post? How are you supposed to react to this guy? How are you supposed to relate to this figure who for a long time just looked like this fucking core corpse floating in the fucking reflecting pond. And now he's there's stuff that you like a lot of people that actually did get some of this benefit like student loan relief is something that tangibly benefited people, you know, the way that the government was tangibly benefiting people with

with COVID bucks at the beginning of his term. And it's creating this new sense of like, oh, my personal situation isn't quite as hopeless. And that maps on to this greater political thing that you know, you hate and you know, is bad. But at the same time, you also don't want to end up materially in some way shoring up what you think is a worse alternative. And so you have to be happy about it, but you have to have some sort of ironic cover for your happiness. And that's where the whole Brandon thing comes, the dark Brandon thing comes in. Right. I think, okay, the dark Brandon thing, when I see like Democratic senators and people who've only ever been consultants post about it, it reminds me of Stevie Janowski trying to act

like any powers, right? You know, that's the feeling I get from it. Change yourself for me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm, you know, it's an open ended trip, my beep. But you know, so what did Stevie Janowski end up doing? He ended up making four kids, he ended up having sex, he ended up doing cocaine. You know, it is all about self-belief. And even if it's, even if it's, you know, you don't quite believe, let's say Brian Schatz, when he's like, oh, I've invented the new Democratic griper. It's a new frog. What matters is that they themselves are having fun. And okay, is Biden actually doing anything? Look, probably not. Everyone, everyone up until a few months ago talked about the 10K, 20K, if a Pell Grant thing,

like it was woefully insufficient. Right. It is. It is. Yet, you know, it's people can connect it to something in their lives more than they can with a bungler care. What do you want me to say? And look, is Biden actually, is he actually like, oh, I learned how to be president. I let Bartlett be Bartlett. I let Joe be Joe. No, I mean, what really happened is the thing that we said in March, right? That you always, for the, it's really more the Republican side. With social issues, you always have to opt the ante. You have to opt the ante quicker than ever. Just because of the speed of news cycles and everything, they immediately accelerated a three year timeline, pissed everyone off, overreached,

everyone's mad at them. Yeah, that's not supposed to happen until like the middle of, like Trump or DeSantis's term, you know, that's, that's, that backlash is you got to get power first before you let that get to that point. But now you can't even benefit from a perfect environment for a backlash election because you're making everybody realize how non normal you are. Yeah. Yeah, I gotta say, I mean, I, there, there is something pleasing and pleasant about the idea of the Republicans eating shit and what everyone assumed was going to be a layup midterms for them because of their kill women agenda. And I mean, it would be good to know that, that there are still some consequences for doing shit like that. And particularly just

on a personal note, I would like to see the privatized social security populace of the Peter Thiel variety, each shit to, you know, an astronaut and a really terrible Democrat. But I don't know, I mean, I, I, I wondered on Brandon, I did find recently his comments about which Republican members of Congress have taken PPP loans to be the first time in a long time that his, his doddering dopiness actually worked to his benefit. Like when referencing Marjorie Taylor Green, he was just like, you know, made made note of the fact that the hundredth is thousands of dollars in fucking PPP loans. And he was like, you know, you know, the woman who believes in the, anyway, I thought it absolutely fascinating that some of the folks that we're talking about,

this is big spending are the same people that got $158,000 in PPP money, including the, what's the name, that woman who believes in the PPP anyway, a whole lot of Republicans. He just trails off. But like in that case, it was like, it was a, it was a good dig at her because he was like, I don't even need to say her name. We all know she's a joke. The, the woman who believes in, anyway, because it's just like not even worth going into. Yeah. Yeah. No, I, who would have guessed, you know, that the Biden presidency would fulfill most left liberals, West Wing fantasies? You never would have guessed. You just, you know, you, you can't predict the future unless you're us. It's true. We're the only ones. But, you know,

who knows how much it will last. Keep in mind, this is a guy who is, has not just been on the wrong end, but has been kind of the, the goat herder for most of the bad decisions the last 40 years. You don't stop being who you are overnight, even if you literally forget who you are. But I don't know. I do, I do think just in the immediate future, I do, I stand by my prediction of it not being a blowout in the midterms. I think everyone is, is with me now. I did say it first. But have you noticed that people are already leaking against Rick Scott, people on the Republican side? Like, I know, I haven't noticed that. What's going on? People are, people are all, people on the Republican side are already being like, oh, he's, he's going on fucking vacation

to Italy because he knows we're going to lose and he's going to get fired after this as the head of the NRSCC. Like it's, if they, let's say outside chance, this is unlikely, but, you know, stranger things have happened. Let's say they actually, you know, don't gain any seats in the house. What the fuck happens to that party then? They rip each other apart, right? Their one conceivable leader is like, no one quite knows if he's going to be able to run because, you know, it actually seems like the deep state finally has a, they don't have to go, oh, let's give a medal of honor to the guy who listened to his phone call. Oh, everyone, everyone dress up like Lev Parnas at work today to raise awareness of Lev Parnas. Oh, Michael Flynn, talk to you in

Muslim on the phone. Even if you're not Lev Parnas, you can go to the Lev Parnas bathroom to show your solidarity with Lev Parnas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone go to McDonald's in order to Lev Parnas burger today. The look on the cashier's face will be epic. They finally, you know, they got something, they got something that he could really be in trouble for. He's ordered lawyers off of billboards for personal injury to fight a federal SB9 case. I don't think it'll go to jail still, but it's still like, it's more serious than anything he's ever faced. Ron DeSantis, okay, you guys have actually heard him talk, right? It's just for the first time. That's like a high kind of squeaky voice. You have people like Fauci saying that his lockdowns

didn't cause any permanent damage to any young kids. I got news for you. It did. And we are going to reap those rewards across the whole country. He is, you know, let's just say you learn, you yearn for the rugged masculinity of Jared Kushner after he got 90% of his throat taken out. What do you even do if you're Ron DeSantis? Check out my wife. Isn't she pretty? That's the only thing I could think of doing. They're a little fucked and, you know, a lot just like the midterms. We said a lot can change in six or seven months. Look, a lot can change in two years. But I think if they do really fucking bad in the house, I do think I'm comfortable saying I think they lose seats in the Senate. Let's say they don't win a majority in the house. How badly do

they rip each other apart? Because it's already a bunch of people that fucking hate each other. Well, do you think that they will, in the event that that occurs, do you think that they will reign back in the libs of TikTok campaign strategy or just double down on it? Because I think the latter is more likely. I think it's very hard to imagine the Republican Party sort of moderating itself at this point. Yeah, I agree with you. I mean, like every fucking time, right, that they eat shit for the past, since 2008, they're like, we're starting a new Republican Party. You know, we're putting Michael Steele in there. So we're not all scary. And then within a year, they're like, let's make it so there's a zoo for gay people so children can learn what not to do.

Well, do you want to get into the Trump inquiry about espionage? Because apparently, there's an article in New York Times that says, headline is classified material on human intelligence sources help trigger alarm. Now, you read this article, and like many of these articles, it's very hard to suss out like what actually happened or what he's being accused of. But it seems to me that they are framing this in a way to imply, or perhaps even, you know, they might have the goods on this, to imply that the classified intelligence documents that he took or declassified at Mar-a-Lago related to human intelligence sources overseas. And the implication being that he was holding on to them to like sell them to foreign adversaries. And they also do

this weird thing of noting this like sharp uptick of the number of human intelligence sources that have been fucking, let's just say neutralized over the last two years. So what do you think is going on here? Do you think that like, this is, I mean, they're still at it and they have like, this is the strongest bullet they have yet to take down, take down Trump or set him up or whatever? I mean, do you credit the idea that he was going to literally sell undercover operatives to like China or Saudi Arabia or like Turkey or who the fuck knows? I don't, I don't think so. I think this is probably all bullshit. It kind of reminds me of the Russian, the Russian bounties in Afghanistan. Yes. Like they've got, because they have him on this thing, right? They've got him. But they have

him the way that they got Al Capone, you know, they got him on tax evasion. And it's like, that's fine, because it's technically, it's a case that you can prosecute successfully. And that's all you need. But I mean, you don't really, like when you prosecute a guy like Capone, you don't have to convince people, right? And that this chart, like in the court of public opinion, that these charges are worth pursuing. If they're going to pursue these, they have to have a narrative around it that makes this like a big deal and not just a clerical fuckup. And that has to be, he's, he's, he's had the secret names and not all of our agents got killed. Like that's the thing that big, yeah, they, these people imagine that they can sell to, you know, relatively uncommitted

voters, like people who like Trump personality wise, and they don't like the Democrats, maybe, but they also have, you know, it like Paul Sorvino in the Rocketeer, when he finds out, yeah, yeah, yeah, Nazi, like, look, I may be a frickin criminal, but I'm a criminal in the United States of America. And then they start shooting at the Nazis. I think that's what they fantasize will happen with this angle on it. I don't, that's just, it's hot. It's, it's so beyond what anything else he's ever done. Like he used the fucking presidency to get people to stay at his hotel, complexity and ambition that went into his fucking scamming when he became a president, the president, he was charging the Air Force to use his golf course.

Yeah, no, he was Trump's type of scheme is like being like, okay, let's get the Department of Energy to exclusively buy McDonald's for a year for all their food. And then when they don't eat it, they have to send it to me. And then I have McDonald's forever. Yeah, all his, his schemes never went beyond like $50,000 at a time, which is the smartest way to do crime. Just tons of noticeable crimes, 10 a month. No one notices. But his imagination is, yeah, not quite big enough. It reminds me of the Alpha Bank thing too. Remember that when they're like, oh, they send fucking, they send wires to, you know, to fucking the Caymans. And then they use the Swift system. And it's like, do you even think any of his, do you think Michael Cohn knows what that is?

Michael Cohn would light himself on fire if he tried doing a wire transfer. I will say this though. If it turns out that Kushner, I'd say would be Kushner and not Trump, arranged for nuclear secrets to go to Saudi Arabia, like has been speculated, then, yeah, maybe he actually did sell the names of second CIA agents. But it would have been, as I said, it would have been Kushner, not Trump. Yeah. And I think Felix, I think, I think you've sort of gelled around what I think is where my feelings on this, which is like, I do not, I certainly not put it past Trump or anyone in his inner circle to be morally opposed to selling the names of undercover CIA agents and informants in foreign hostile countries to their governments in exchange

for money. And what's more than that, I actually morally credit them with doing that because I think all, all of our spies and snakes, it's time to cut the grass, folks. It's time to cut the grass. But that being said, I think you're right that like, it doesn't, at least it isn't in my feeling of this. It doesn't, it doesn't feel like the kind of penny ante bullshit that Trump usually gets up to. You can't see him doing it. The most important, it's not going to juice any voters that you wouldn't quite have gotten before, right? You know, no one thinks that. Matt is completely right on that. The most important thing politically, the most important thing electorally, in the horse race sense, is that it gums up the works. It's kind of hard to do your

usual routine. It's kind of hard to go on stage for seven hours. And let's just say, yeah, go through every song on Madman Across the Water as he likes to do. While you are actually fighting a federal case that could potentially send you to prison. I don't think it will, but he's got to pay attention. This is the type of thing that will actually take time and energy and resources away from him. It will make him harder. It will make it harder for him to do his thing. And it leaves DeSantis in this sort of no man's land where he's not, you know, he's not quite, Trump isn't quite out, but he's had greatly diminished powers, but not quite enough where you can just push him over. If DeSantis like sprung up now, he would, you know, Dan Bonggino would have suicide attack him.

I mean, knowing my recent record on predictions here on the show, I guarantee you like an hour after we put out this episode, they're going to release security footage of fucking Jared dangling into the fucking safe, into the vault to get the knock list. Just because, you know, I mean, Trump wouldn't do that himself, you know, like, remember the scene where Cruz has to catch his sweat as it beads up off the glass. As soon as they put Trump in the harness and like lowered him into the thing, they're just, it would just rain on the floor. It would just be, it would be burger juice just falling off of him. The fucking, the alarm would have been tripped. The knock list would have been safe. But you get Jared in there, you know, he's very skinny, very dry. Hey, he's

going to live forever. He doesn't have sweat glands. He sort of sweats through his mouth like a dog. So yeah, I think Jared, there's a conceivable, I'm just saying like, it's conceivable. I don't think it's likely, but it's conceivable that Jared stole the knock list and sold it to Max on the bullet train between London and Paris. Absolutely. Great. Yeah. No, I am so interested to see how it plays out because it's, I mean, look, like we said, we, I feel like we have a pretty good record during the Trump years of predicting what would be nothing, right? Just so long as it doesn't come to will Russia invade Ukraine? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, look, if you really want to, if you really want to put an asterisk on that, have a perfect record,

you can just become one of those Americans who's really into Russia. You know, just go, it's always been, how can they invade their own place? It's like saying America invaded North Dakota. You know, if you want to go down that path, but this is more expertise, right? I consider us experts on this type of stupid horse race bullshit. Hold on. I just want to read a little bit from the New York Times article here. It says, CIA espionage operations inside numerous hostile countries have been compromised in recent years, and the governments of those countries have arrested, jailed, and even killed the agency's sources. Last year, a top secret memo sent to every CIA station around the world warned about troubling numbers of informants

being captured or killed, a stark reminder of how important human source networks are to the basic functions of the spy agency. During the early part of the last decade, the Chinese government dismantled the CIA's network of sources within China, crippling the agency's spying operations in the country for years. Source networks in Iran and Pakistan have also been compromised, prompting the agency to ask its case officers and analysts to redouble the efforts to protect the identities of spies and informants. Okay. So like, you know, whether this is related to Trump literally betraying assets in hostile countries for money, if you just say, if you're like, look, look at Trump's tenure during presidency, there was like, you know, an x percent increase

in the spike of informants and undercover spies that have been getting killed or arrested by foreign countries, you can make him look pretty bad. That being said, during the same time, all of these fucking case officers and fucking station chiefs were bitching about getting fucking Havana syndrome, being like, oh, my tummy hurts. I have a headache. So I mean, like, you can't tell me that, like, this, this, this is unrelated to the fact that all like, oh, shit, we let that that Iranian nuclear scientist that was going to flip for us, we just like texted him from the wrong phone number and now he disappeared. Oops. Oh, no. Oh, my tummy. Oh, please. Give me money for healthcare. Maybe these people, maybe the CIA agents health problems come from repressing the horrible guilt of seeing

all of their fucking, because they were too busy talking about their dang feelings in a chat room to like help them get pulled out of a situation where they'd been compromised. Yeah. Now they get this perfect alibi. Actually, yeah, my tummy hurts because of Havana syndrome and we lost those agents because Trump leaked the names. Perfect. Get out of jail, free card. CIA, you love it. That was of every angle covered. I just, I think it's amazing that they got over burnout syndrome, PTSD from taking standardized tests, all that to finally put something together against him. Look, I don't think it's good. I don't think if we're taking a principled stand, I don't think it's good for unelected bureaucrats of yes, the deep state to go, hey, you're not

president anymore. It's never good, right? No. But like, as somebody who is into the sport of all this, it's like, hey, you finally got one. Right. And like, I'm sorry, like, this is not, this is the way it works. I mean, we all want something different and we are all struggling and flailing to try to find some way to express that desire for something different. But this is not the first time that a president has been neutralized by forces in the government. You know what I mean? Yeah. And it's like this way, everywhere. We love talking about, especially now, we love talking about how every problem, every horrible quality of life problem that the UK is experiencing, the hell they will experience this winter, it coincides perfectly with the things that Jeremy

Corbyn actually wanted to do. Yet, what would have it been like if Jeremy Corbyn had been PM? He would have been killed by MI5 by now, you know? Yeah. This is unfortunately, how these things go. It is how these things go until, you know, you, I guess, do a big DBT session with every intelligence agent in the West. What's DBT again? A dialectical behavioral therapy where they will learn to no longer become overwhelmed by their emotions. I thought it was a Dragon Ball kind of thing. I thought it was like Dragon Ball Z. Well, that was the other thing on that, that you would get all the Dragon Balls and you bring Frink Church back to life. And it's like, oh, we're going to do the hearings now again. All right. Let's do a couple, let's do a couple

quick hits to round out the show. So I'm opening this up to the panel. In international news, the Finnish Prime Minister. Harmless partying or shameless tart-eating? Eleanor Clifft, go. Who's bangs girl? We all want to know. You know what I'm talking about? Who's bang? Oh, yeah, there's one of the women in the party video that leaked has like bangs. Oh, okay. Felix is smitten with her. Yeah, you like it? I think she's beautiful and no one's told me who she is. Well, what I want to know is, is she the fake ass friend who fucking leaked this shit? Because that's the real story. Somebody is not a real friend. Here's a question I want to know. Is being Prime Minister of Finland that hard? No, it seems like it's like that's a 20-hour

week job match. Yeah, no, yeah. It seems more difficult to be like a city counselor in Cleveland. I mean, look, they just joined NATO. I mean, like, dude, it's just outsourced it from there. You know, you're in the club now. Go party. Just party. That's what the problem is, there should be just in charge of curating a vibe. Okay. Well, I, okay. So, I mean, I'm sorry, the New York Times here, it says, last fall, Prime Minister Santa Mar Maren of Finland, a 36-year-old leather jacket wearing regular rock festivals, vowed that she wanted to live like any person my age and shake up the highest office in the government. A year later, she has done just that. Ms. Maren got in her country through the pandemic with one of Europe's lowest death rates, then traveled to

Sweden in her trademark leather jacket to win support for a momentous bid to join NATO in the face of Russian aggression in Ukraine. Her popularity rating is near a record high, but right now, nobody is talking about any of that. Video leaked last week of Ms. Maren dancing boisterously at a party have spiraled into a noisy national drama that has split the usually placid nation of 5.5 million between those clamoring for her resignation and those cheering her on. Okay. Yeah, it's a foundation with less people than the island of Manhattan. I think she can wear a leather jacket and have fun with her bangs friends. But here, look, I'm offering a little bit of crisis management to P.M. Maren. I think the thing she needs to do is lean into it by going on whatever the finished

version of Saturday Night Live is, like Hell Hinky Funny Time or Hell Sinky Funny Time, and just sort of appear as a cameo as herself, just sort of making fun of herself, or even better, Saturday Night Live, they could do a parody where the real P.M. Maren shows up to confront the fake P.M. played by Sarah Squirm, who's at a party, I don't know, pulling a tampon out, or squeezing zits off her face. We love Sarah, but I think Sarah Squirm could do a great P.M. Santa Mart Maren character, and then the real Santa Maren could show up in the sketch and just poke a little bit of late-hearted fun at herself. And I think that would totally defuse the furor over this. I consider myself an expert on Finnish politics, and P.M. Maren's,

her troubles started. We said we have a special insight on this. Her troubles actually started, and the partying started when she was on a bender and took a picture next to the finished star of infamous Finnish comedian Rakin Havelnack, who is notorious for shaking 37 women's hands, and said, hey, Libs, try to take away this star, try to take away this monument, and it's just all been downhill from there. One thing she can do is go on her husband Mark Maren's podcast and cry. So I don't, I have no idea if anyone, any regular person in Finland cares about this at all, because I have no access to Finnish public opinion. My suspicion is it's probably not that big of a deal to regular people, but it's certainly a big deal to the political

class and media people who are very horrified. And I'm assuming it's because everyone in the videos is a consenting adult. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's like, that is not how prime ministers are supposed to unwind. I mean, I was a little, I was a little surprised that probably some sort of pedogram shaped chamber should be robes. Yeah. No, the wildest thing that she's doing is like, they're doing a no tongue kiss girl on girl. Yeah. Okay. You know, oh, wow. Have you guys seen the picture of her with Zelinski? Yeah. God damn, that is not how you're going to die for a manlet prime minister. What is going on? Yeah, Jesus Christ. She's not even wearing like heels or anything. You know, she's presumably wearing the free run shoes that all women love. They're like

walking on a cloud. I mean, there's also he has very narrow shoulders. I just want to point out if you're still looking for someone to root for in that war. I guess like, you know, I guess maybe the the quick peck among friends, among two girlfriend could maybe, maybe bump the video up to PG 13 rating. But like for the most part, it was just a bunch of friends partying, having a good time. I didn't see any lines of coke out. I didn't see any nipples. You know, this was just, just fun among friends. I can't see why this is a problem here. But like I said, being PM of Finland, probably not that hard of a job. But still, everyone needs to blow off some steam. But you know, Sarah Squirm, if you're listening, I think PM,

Santa Marin, that could be a great character for you. Get the real one on SNL. I think it'll diffuse the whole thing. I think a good time will be had by all. Let's see how many Finland population. I want to finally figure this out. I feel like it's like 78,000 people. No, I just said the New York Times 5.5 million people. That's the population. Oh, Jesus fucking, more people lived in my building in Manhattan. Why? Yeah, everyone is up in arms. And they're like, Oh, they're, oh, she's going to be too drunk to do the winter war again. It's going to be fine, like calm down. All right. Next quick hit for the lightning around here. Sydney Sweeney, star of euphoria. Is this a case of the sins of the father? Or should we not bother as she's not

going to fuck you, bro? Yeah, what can we do? So it turns out it wasn't even her parents. Sydney Sweeney was at her mom's 60th birthday basharuni. And one of her mom's friends wouldn't you know, it's always one of your mom's friends. They're the most annoying people in the world. Yeah. If you're one of my mom's friends and listening, not you specifically. Wouldn't you know it? One of her mom's friends wore a blue lives matter shirt, a thin blue line shirt. And everyone's like, Sydney Sweeney's parents. Are they escaped Nazis who were cryogenically frozen in 1946? Maybe. I see our boy, our delightful boy, Stavi baby is going through it over this, going through it. He's been, he's been, he's been canceled, folks. Stavi has been can't compromise canceled to a

permanent end, because he said, um, any blonde hero to check with big boobs who works on classic cars as chances are she got Republican parents. But I got to say, this is this is a big W for everyone, all the normal good people out there who have decent loving parents who just vote Democrat. I mean, come on, there's a party that makes you the first person if you vote for it. Yeah. Yeah. So like, I got to say, if you have any family member that votes Republican, either call them out or just die with them. Because, you know, letting their racism and fascism and letting that go unchecked in your own home. I mean, if you're willing to put up without a Thanksgiving, what are you willing to put up with at the ballot box? Whereas good people like me,

whose parents have only ever voted Democrat their entire life, you are in the clear, you're 100% safe here, enjoy family gatherings and parties, enjoy your parents' friends, any t-shirt worn by, I mean, my parents' friends don't even wear t-shirts. They're all the shit. Yeah. So I feel totally confident here as a Democratic parent, however, that, you know, audit all the party photos, all the t-shirt pics, I'm totally good. We're in the clear here. So if you've got Democratic family, just breathe easy. But if you've got even one Republican family member, you better be, you better, you're either with us or you're either against them or you're with us. Decide now. Because you can't be on a TV show if that's the case.

Uh-uh. Not on my television. I have a confession to make. I feel like I should get ahead of this story. In 1980, my dad did vote for John Anderson. Whoa. Whoa. Yeah. That was as good as voting for Reagan. Holy shit. He's the only guy who's voted for both John Anderson and Angela Davis. Well, we should, we should fucking kill this guy. Well, what was it called when they put Rodrigo Borgia on trial after his death? We can do that. Yeah. We just need to get ahead of this one before, before we, we don't want to, we don't want to get ahead of the PR people, but we are making euphoria too. Yep. They're in community colleges. No problematic cast members. Yes. Well, just signed Ezra Miller for the lead.

We're very excited. Everyone, everyone in euphoria too, David Geffen was there when they were born. It's a pure democratic cast. Do you see they, they, they, they did bring Ezra Miller to, to heal though. They brought the Warner Brothers execs. They had a, they had some, some emergency meetings with him and his agent and everything is fine now. The DC, the Flash movie, it's coming out. They weren't going to eat $250 million on that just because he kidnapped some children and waved a gun around and threatened probably 6,000 people with death, you know, face-to-face over the last couple of months. Ezra Miller, Ezra Miller has not fallen. The DC universe has not fallen. The Flash will be in

theaters. So, you know, good, good for them. Yeah. The guys from Michael Clayton who killed Tom Wilkinson showed up at Ezra Miller's place and are like, look, we can't sell this movie if you're running around doing this stuff, being a literal super villain that just, we can't sell that movie. But we have to put this movie out here and there's two ways we can sell it. One is after you've gone forward and said you, you are very sorry and that you're going to seek treatment and then we put you away for a while. And another where the movie is your heartbreaking posthumous performance after you tragically over those. That movie we can sell. That movie probably makes the most money of all three. Probably. Yeah. It's on the table. You get to pick which one we release.

Do you think, do you think that they put him in some type of Magneto prison where he's unable to like call somebody out for using the term gypsy cart? That seems to be, that seems to be where he gets his power from. Like every time, every time he goes on like a spree, it always starts with him having an altercation at like a matcha coffee shop. And yeah, he overhears, he thinks he overhears someone say the term Indian summer and it just empowers him up. He pulled a gun on someone basically for questioning his argument that the Rastafarians invented part cheesy. I would like to note though, Matt, per your sort of there are three scenarios on the table. You know, you choose what movie gets released. I mean, I simply have to, you know,

regard all recent celebrity deaths through this light, you know, Leon Vitale just died, Stanley Kubrick's longtime assistant and collaborator who was, you know, featured in films such as Barry Lyndon and Eyes Wide Shut. I mean, could he have been working on a movie, Eyes Wide Shut, the sequel, the true story, what this movie is actually about? Will that movie be seen the light of the day? Does that movie even exist? I don't know. But I am speculating it. Yes, he was 81 years old. But do you, I mean, these people have no limits. These people are sick. Okay, folks. Paul Servino. What did he know? Perfectly healthy men like that don't just die, perfectly healthy young men like Paul Servino. Well, yeah, I think that about does it for today's

show. Gentlemen, until next time. Until next time, we have a very exciting midweek episode. Yeah. Once again, though, reminder chopotraphouse.com slash live, please come out and see us. Live shows in the fall are going to be lit and chopotraphouse.shop are all exciting new merchandise. So gentlemen, until next time. Bye bye. Bye bye.