Chapo Trap House - 660 - The Special Master (9/6/22)
Episode Date: September 7, 2022Contained within: Joe Biden’s red light speech, Donald Trump’s Special Master, another new British PM, Pope fights the Catholic Deep State, French president sex gossip, Rick Scott blows election f...und, Keffals vs. Kiwi Farms, and more! Dates & Tickets to all our upcoming shows: https://www.chapotraphouse.com/live And of course, links to our new merch: https://chapotraphouse.shop/
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Hello babies, it's ChopperTrap House coming at you post Labor Day, Tuesday, September
6th.
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But let's get into it for today, gentlemen.
How's it going?
Not bad.
Everyone's doing good.
Everyone's feeling good.
I know we took the Labor Day off because we worked so damn hard doing the show.
But I guess let's just jump into it.
I suppose the big thing everyone was talking last week on the sort of campaign politics
front is Joe Brandon, the drug cocktail continues to bear fruit.
He gave sort of sort of like the most charged up campaign speech of this election yet and
people are either loving it or hating it.
And now America must choose to move forward or to move backwards, to build a future obsessed
about the past, to be a nation of hope and unity and optimism or a nation of fear, division
and of darkness.
Maga republics have made their choice.
They embrace anger.
They thrive on chaos.
They live not in the light of truth, but in the shadow of lies, but together, together
we can choose a different path.
Now the people who love it, love it because Joe Biden is finally, he's taken dead aim
at the Maga Republicans that have taken over the Republican Party and the threat they pose
to this country.
We're singling them out, if you will.
He's calling them out.
He's calling them out.
He's taken names and he's calling out this semi-fascist, Maga Republican, ultra-Maga
movement.
Now, before you get too excited about this, I would just ask, I would ask you, Matt and
Felix and our listeners, these simple questions.
What if instead of calling out Republican politicians and Donald Trump, he was calling
out Jews or black people?
Would you feel good about it then?
I would love to hear how that sounded.
Could you imagine Joe Biden performing the Holocaust?
I mean, they can.
They imagine it every day, which is-
I guess they do.
I guess they do.
It's amazing how the Libs have jiu-jitsu'd Brandon around these guys to the point where
now they have to take the dark Brandon bullshit seriously.
They've actually bluffed them into that.
It's amazing.
Now, that just goes to speak how hair trigger and just addicted to anxiety and victimhood
people are, that they're just begging to- they've invented Brandon.
The idea of Brandon is that he's a fucking oaf.
He's a sleepy, perverted old fossil who doesn't know what he's doing and now you've turned
him into what the Democrats want him to be, which is an epic, powerful, laser-eyed guy
who can zap you into a cornfield if you can piss him off.
Yeah, it's- I would say it's akin to making your very own inflatable clown ornament, your
front lawn or something, some type of village festivity, and then getting violently molested
by it, sort of similar to what's going on with that.
Yeah, it's like dark Brandon, it's gone from being- okay, dark Brandon has gone from being
one of those sort of flailing, blow-up figures that are often seen outside of car dealerships.
He's gone from being one of those to one of those that abducts and kills your children.
Yeah, yeah.
No, I mean-
And of course, I mean, I guess it was like people made a lot of note of these sort of
deep red and black background, did this speech sort of look like, I don't know, very sort
of like Adam Driver in the new Star Wars movies. That seemed like kind of the aesthetic they
were going for, and word on the grapevine is that White House staffers feel invigorated
by dark Brandon, and dark Brandon has become sort of their mascot for this midterm election,
and it seems to be working. That's the funny part.
You can't argue with- polls are polls, who knows anymore? They've been basically systemically
off for six years now, but the election results are pretty undeniable. It does seem like-
And the thing is, does it have anything to do with dark Brandon? Does it have anything
to do with some dipshit meme jockey in the White House comms department, scrolling Twitter
and creating hashtags? No, it's that the fucking Republicans did what they always do,
which is go too far with the Dobs decision, and it has clarified and basically reversed
the polarity of the typical midterm trends, and that had nothing to do with anything anybody
in the White House did, which is of course perfectly emblematic of a completely adrift
powerless administration.
It does seem people are on both sides. They're creaming themselves either out of contrived
and obviously histrionic performative fear that the dark Brandon militias will soon be
rounding up God-fearing, Biblically-oriented, constitutional-style Americans, and I guess
just average Democrats who have a little bit of a- they're starting to feel it's starting
to get a little bit of a chub because when they see a Democratic politician campaigning,
like doing politics, like being like, hey, the other side, the people that you're not
supposed to vote for, they're bad, and here's why.
So Joe Biden gave the most threatening presidential speech in American history last week. He spoke
in front of a blood-red backdrop flanked by U.S. Marines, and he delivered, if you take
a step back, the blueprint for the rest of his administration. Criminalized dissent effectively
ban the opposition and used the federal agencies to transform America into a one-party state.
But I'm just going to read a little bit from the New York Times. Four takeaways from Biden's
speech in Philadelphia. This is by Jonathan Wiseman. He just writes, sure, Mr. Biden rattled
off the accomplishments of his first year-and-a-half in office, infrastructure, gun safety, prescription
drug price controls, and the most important climate initiative ever. But in his address
to the nation, Mr. Biden tacitly acknowledged that his predecessor still looms over the politics
of the moment, like it or not. And he took it to Mr. Trump directly, calling him out
by name and seeking to differentiate between the MAGA Republicans loyal to Mr. Trump and
what he deemed reasonable Republicans who still stand by the American Democratic experiment.
There's no question that the Republican Party today is dominated, driven, and intimidated
by Donald Trump and the MAGA Republicans, he said. And that is a threat to this country.
Yeah, he's trying to make those people who voted, who split their ticket in 2020, basically,
and voted Republican at the state level, that he's trying to keep them on board with the
Democrats and deepen their commitment to the Democrats below the top of the ticket by trying
to extend that association that existed during the presidential election, when like Trump
was literally on the ballot. It's the only call it's the only move they have. And it's
the same reason that they are propping up the campaigns of MAGA Republicans with actual
money and advertising, because it is their only move because getting those keeping keeping
those suburban affluent whites and having them become straight ticket Democrats is their
only path forward, because it's the only thing that can be squared with their actual policy
plans and and their incentives. Well, I mean, still, like it's looking like mission accomplished
though, right? Because they have such a great dance partner. Yeah, no, I mean, they, um,
the Republicans are doing everything the Democrats are doing, but backwards and in
the high heels. Yeah, no, they, um, they forgot the reason that they could only do abortion
through like the least elected part of the entire government. Yeah, boy, I mean, I hate
this. We were the first people so I was the first person to say it. That's always over
rich, always overreach and piss people off. I said it in March. I said it in March, you
get no, you really get nothing for being right. But, um, me telling you this, uh, did I bet
money on it? No, I didn't believe in it that much. But I was ready to say it. It is pretty
astonishing to see these creeps backtrack on, uh, abortion. Cause like, I like, I don't
know, like their consultants are just like the momentum they were feeling like led them
to a situation just like a couple, like a month or two ago that like, when asked the
question, like, uh, should a 10 year old rape victim, um, be forced to, uh, carry the term
the child of her rapist and then just look dead at the camera and say, yes. And, um,
once you do that, it's, it's sort of hard to crawl back from it. But of course, you
know, you've noticed, uh, Blake Masters and others scrubbing from their campaign website.
They're everything they've ever actually set an abortion to some of them. The bizarre thing
now that they do is that they'll say, oh, well, you know, obviously there needs to be
some exceptions or they'll say, I think America's abortion policy should be in line with the
Western Europe's. And I was like, sorry, what? Like, so publicly funded abortions as part
of a national healthcare program. Like, what are you talking about? Like this, this was
a murderer a week ago. And now you're like, well, okay, Blake, you know, the first trimester,
please, there are options need to be on the table.
But yeah, no, I mean, that is, that's like the problem they've kind of always had with
abortion is that no one wants a like, maybe I don't know, like 20% of the country at absolute
most wants like a full ban, maybe 10% or less wants prosecution of women who get abortions.
But the only way to like be consistent with the, it's murder line is to go for both those
things. Otherwise it collapses on itself.
Yeah, that's the thing they have to fully commit to the maximal thing because it's the
only position with forward momentum. Other it stagnates and then you lose the issue,
you lose it as a motivating factor. That's why you have to sacrifice things like your
short term interest in say winning the Senate in 2020 to maintain the stability of your
of your political coalition.
And I guess like, you know, we've talked about this before, but I mean, I think the open
question is like, through their control of state governments and especially the federal
judiciary, like, will it matter that like the, like the, the electoral blowback for
their overreach, can they withstand it, essentially swallow it, but continue to criminalize abortion
in places that otherwise don't want it? Like, I don't know if you guys, I think we mentioned
it briefly, but like this, this, this effort to get a referendum on abortion onto the ballot
in the state of Michigan right now, they're pulling out all the stops to keep it off the
ballot. Something like 760,000 signatures have been collected. And like, they're attempting
to disqualify it on a technicality. I'm not kidding regarding like, uh, kerning and spacing
on the official, officially submitted application, because I mean, like, you know, in Michigan
is a, you know, has a very right wing state government, but like, they know that like,
once this issue is taken away from the courts and, you know, sent back to the states, many,
many of these states, if it is a yes or no question, it's very clear what side they're
going to land down on, which is keeping abortion legal. And yeah, um, it's, it's really hard
to call because I think you're going to get some surprises like Kansas, but you are, there
are still states where like the most punitive anti-choice thing is very popular, namely
Louisiana. I think Louisiana is the one where you can get the most punitive and most restrictive
with the least amount of blowback with like a democratic governor. You know, Democrats
are incredibly, incredibly anti-choice there. But, um, I do think, I don't know, they've
got to be really panicking about this Alaska thing, right?
Oh, right. Sarah Hillen.
Yeah. I mean, in a state as white as that, like that kind of, that's supposed to be your
red wall kind of places like that. If you're losing referendums by massive margins in Kansas
and like, yeah, fucking losing that election in Alaska, then who do you have anymore?
But the thing is, you need, you still need the Democratic party to effectively contain
those desires. Like you have to have, you have it be a vessel for those opinions. And
one of the big problems we have is that the Democratic party is currently constructing.
Cannot be that. I mean, we've, how many times have we seen some, some Republican Gorgon
getting elected governor on the same election day that a minimum raise hike passes with
huge numbers or marijuana legalization or any other number, any other number of popular
broadly left liberal policies, but they cannot adhere those positions to the Democratic party
for cultural reasons. And that still persists even in a post-op world.
That is true.
I suppose like, uh, like, I'm not, I'm like, as long as we're talking about the federal
judiciary and, uh, like how that plays all into this, have you guys followed the, uh,
the latest development in the Trump classified documents case, which involves the appointment
of something called a special master.
Gotta get that special master.
A special master by a Trump appointed federal judge who has interceded in this, in this
case. And like, I was, I was reading the, uh, like the New York Times article on this
and the number of, I had to laugh every time they just said, like, you know, like it's
a thing that we all, it just, we all agree upon now, like, oh, this exists. Well, well,
you know, when the, once the special master has reviewed the documents, they will be the
final arbiter on whether any crime was committed. Oh, obviously it's just, it's the special
master. We forgot about that clause. It's just time and time again, it's just, you discover
things like, like a special masters or parliamentarians exist and we all have to take it seriously.
So wait, the special master isn't a thing that the judge commands. It's like a guy or
girl.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
I've never heard of this before.
Okay. Yeah. Listen to this. A federal judge has extraordinary decision on Monday to interject
in the criminal investigation into former president Donald J. Trump's hoarding of sensitive
government documents. And his Florida resident showed unusual solicitude to him. Legal specialists
said, this was an unprecedented intervention by a federal district judge into the middle
of an ongoing federal criminal and national security investigation.
Sid Steven Ivlatic, a law professor at the University of Texas. Judge Cannon, a Trump
appointee who sits on the federal district court for the Southern District of Florida,
also blocked federal prosecutors from further examining the seized materials for the investigation
until a special master had completed the review. In reaching that result, Judge Cannon took
several steps that specialists said were vulnerable to being overturned if the government files
on appeal.
She granted the arbiter, I'm just jumping ahead here. He says, granted the arbiter known
as a special master, broad powers that extended beyond filtering materials were potentially
subject to attorney-client privilege to also include executive privilege. So, yeah. There's
a special master.
That's a person who's been appointed to it.
A person, it is a specific person who has been, so like all the, like in this, like,
I don't know, indictment or whatever, like, so like the federal prosecutor who brought
is bringing this case is now essentially barred from reviewing the supposedly classified materials
until the special master, an arbiter appointed by this judge, can go over the materials first
and decide what is classified and what's not or what.
That special master?
Yeah.
That's right. Lev Parnas. It's Lev Parnas. Lev Parnas, he's back guys. You thought they'd
cancel Parnas? He's not going away. Lev Parnas ain't going away, folks. He's the special
master now.
As Judge Cannon was assigned to, after Judge Cannon was assigned to Mr. Trump's special
master lawsuit, she made the unusual move of publicly declaring that she was inclined
to in state one even before hearing arguments from the Justice Department, but she could
have done so in a far more modest fashion. Judge Cannon has a reasonable path that she
could have taken to appoint a special master to review documents for attorney-client privilege
and allow the criminal investigation to continue otherwise, said Ryan Goodman, a New York University
law professor. Instead, she chose a radical path. A specialist in separation of powers,
Peter M. Shane, who is a legal scholar in residence at NYU, said there was no basis
for Judge Cannon to expand the special master's authority to screen materials that were also
potentially subject to executive privilege. I mean, is this just something that's happening
all the time that we're just not aware of?
There are special masters running around the country.
Yeah. No. Okay. Have you ever heard of someone who's like, oh yeah, my husband is a special
master?
No. Yeah. Maybe it's probably not a job. It's not like a special prosecutor type deal
where you take somebody, some officer of the court and you're like, hey, Steve, you want
to be special master? He's like, fine. There's not like a bunch of special masters at like
a shape-up hall, like playing canasta and drinking beer and waiting for the guy to come
in and say, hey, we got the first four names on the list. Come get on the truck. We're
going to be special masters.
It's depressing if it's not like that.
I think special masters should advertise their services on TV like defense lawyers.
Yeah. Do you need documents...
Do you need documents subject to executive privilege screened for potentially classified
information? That's right. Call me special master.
800-808-888.
Your ass got mastered.
But we're seeing now the bearing of fruit of the seating of the judiciary. This is
It's all, it's why the machine,
that's why our democratic organs are all,
their white blood cells are going crazy,
but the infection is too powerful.
It's gotten in too deep.
Good luck.
I am kind of disappointed because it's like,
well, we're never gonna like find the answer
to the most interesting logistical question of all time.
Like, what would it be like if Trump went to prison?
It is kind of like, I like thinking about it.
When you talk about this, it's very interesting.
A former president with secret service protection,
how would he be imprisoned?
Yeah.
Because like, would that involve sending,
sending secret service agents to prison with him?
Yeah.
Like, I mean, you need like a dirty dozen
of secret service agents, Dan Bongano.
Dan Bongano.
Yeah, oh yeah.
He's a former secret service agent.
Yeah, the guys who fucked the hookers in Columbia.
Yeah, just get them locked up with him
and then like, just get them all in the same unit,
the same cell.
Or, okay, like, that's one option.
Get a bunch of patriotic secret service agents
to commit crimes and get sent to the same prison as Trump
and essentially continue to be his
around the clock secret service protection.
Or you outsource secret service protection to
one of the various, many like ethnic mafias
and gangs inside prisons.
You know, the AB, the MA.
I think AB would be a strong first round pick there.
Yeah.
I mean, the AB, I mean, you're asking them first.
You know, in prison, it's just there's certain rules
that need to be followed.
I mean, the one thing going against that is like,
now conservatives talk about Latinos,
like the way that liberals used to talk about black women.
Like, it's exactly the same now where they're like,
Latino's been done telling y'all
that they don't want their kids to be gay.
No, they, no, that's like what they do.
I'm not saying that.
They're saying it.
But, you know, obviously you would not put him
in a gen pup, right?
You'd have to put him in PC with the pedophiles
and formats and former cops.
But that would, I mean, how much different is that
than like his entire life up to this point?
That's like all of his friends now.
Well, I mean, like you can imagine a situation, right?
We're like, yeah, the AB, that's the obvious pick
for Trump's secret service detail in prison.
But I mean, this is government contracting
we're talking about.
What if they get a better bid from the black gangster
disciples?
Exactly, yeah.
Oh, yeah, there's a lot of options here.
Yeah, and then Trump will, you know,
he'll officially become part of the black girl family.
And then he will finally, as he was long then foretold,
convert to nation of Islam.
Oh my God.
Imagine if Trump converts to Islam in prison.
Folks, it's the, I mean,
a very bad guy, okay, he's on Patmos.
That would be so, he went in there and he made,
he made the whites, made white people, folks.
And it was bad.
It's not good.
That would be especially fucked because he probably looks
like out of anyone who's ever lived,
looks the most like the first white people that they create.
He came out of the bog that Dr. Yacob was like
the first one out of the, the cauldron.
Yeah, he was like batch one.
Yeah, batch one.
Trump, Trump, Trump has always,
he's always loved the Jews.
The Jews have been great friends to Trump,
but I never knew they're not the real Jews.
Now I'm impressed by the original Israelites.
Folks, I'm talking about the black Israelites.
They're, some say they like Trump even more
than the fake Jews.
See, I think he would be like very well liked in prison.
You know, like, I think he has hustler mindset.
I think he's kind of the guy who, you know,
I think he would keep the peace between many
of the warring prison gangs.
I think he would help them do deals and negotiate things.
I think he would be, I think,
I think he would like prison a lot.
But I mean,
He would have a good time.
He would, you know, a lot of people to talk to.
You'd get into weightlifting.
No, yeah, a nation of Islam, Trump would be like,
I would say the main reason to send him to prison is to,
yeah, just having convert.
So realistically, all they really want is to get him
off the board.
So if he gets convicted, I think, well, that's the thing.
If he gets criminally, here's the thing.
If they did like put him on trial and then even convicted him,
there would be nothing statutorily preventing him
from still running for president from jail,
like on a platform of getting out of jail
and pardoning himself.
That would be so much if they pitched him and removed him
from office, that'd be different.
Cause it says in the constitution,
if you get removed from office, you can't run for it again.
But if you get convicted of a criminal penalty,
I don't think there's anything,
nothing in the rules says that a dog can't run
for president from prison.
I would love it if he was using his phone time
to like call into a debate.
He's from behind the bulletproof glass.
Yeah, yeah, it's just, he'd be like,
I'll answer your very, I would answer your very unfair,
very biased question, but the gentleman behind me
looks very eager to get on the phone, Trump out.
By the way, I just, if I'm leaving,
I'm just going to leave a number here.
If anyone wants to call, I need ramen doodles.
That's what you were wanting.
Yeah, I need lots of ramen doodles.
Put it on my books.
He would never be able to make any of those
Robin meal delicacies.
No, no way.
He would absolutely burned out the fucking place,
even attempting to do the thing.
I mean, like, look, I mean,
he would probably go to some cushy prison.
He'd have, he'd have fucking placed the issue.
No, he wouldn't get house arrest if he got anything.
Yeah, he'd be getting-
They would not send him to a facility.
They would just put an ankle monitor thing around his ankle
and have him stay at Mar-a-Lago.
But like, that would be like the one time,
like when I was in grade school,
that I got the very serious punishment,
sort of like a level or two down from expulsion
of one day of outhouse suspension,
which means I didn't have to go to school for a day.
I thought it meant they kept you in an outhouse.
No, no, no, yeah.
I mean, that would have been a punishment.
They'd just kept me in a port of body all day long.
That would have been a punishment.
That's a step higher than detention.
But I remember my parents were like,
okay, we're going to work,
but like, don't watch TV or like have fun.
Like just, you know, just be bored.
You know, like this is punishment.
And I was like, yes, mother, yes, father.
I mean, can you imagine in terms of like,
his criminal punishment was like,
you have to be on a golf course 24 seven.
You can never leave.
And all your friends are there.
All the dentists, all the boat dealers,
all the cosmetic surgeons in Florida,
that like, that's your gang.
That's your prison gang.
You get to trade cigarettes with them and fucking, yeah.
He's like already on house arrest.
Yeah.
You know, that's his lifestyle already.
Pretty much.
I just, I have one more funny detail here about Trump.
This is just courtesy of New York magazine.
There's all these books coming out about Trump.
And this new one is about, you know, conveniently enough
about Trump and his longtime relationships with lawyers
in that like he has a particular penchant
for never paying his attorneys.
Yeah, he's never does.
He will give them, sometimes it'll be like,
I've got Roy Jones Jr.'s jockstrap here.
Want that?
Okay.
Well, we're taking train or barter.
Listen to this story.
This is the Guardian which obtained,
this is New York magazine's writing about this new book.
It says, the Guardian which obtained an advanced copy
says, Enric reports back in the 1990s,
a lawyer at a white shoot law firm who worked for Trump
confronted the mogul about a $2 million bill
he refused to pay.
Reading from the book here it says,
after a while, the lawyer lost patience
and he showed up unannounced at Trump Tower.
Someone sent him up to Trump's office.
Trump was initially pleased to see him.
He didn't betray any sense of sheepishness
but the lawyer was steaming.
I'm incredibly disappointed he scolded Trump.
There's no reason you haven't paid us.
Trump made some apologetic noises.
Then he said, I'm not going to pay your bill.
I'm going to give you something more valuable.
What on earth is he talking about?
The lawyer wondered, I have a stallion.
Trump continued.
It's worth $5 million.
Trump rummaged around in a filing cabinet
and pulled out what he said was a deed to a horse.
He handed it to the lawyer.
He's named Black Beauty.
It wasn't for the deed to my horse.
Oh my God.
Yeah, it's like, I love it.
It's like he only hires like Atticus Finch type attorneys
that can take things in barter,
but also he hires Atticus Finch type attorneys
because he's often accused of sexual assault.
So yeah, that's what's going on here in America.
I guess just a little overseas.
There are some bad news from overseas.
Did you guys see that Chile's referendum
to have a new constitution was tanked resoundingly at the polls?
Not great.
Not great.
It would have undone the constitution
written by the Chicago boys under the reign of General
Pinochet, which basically just like,
it's a country of the constitution that makes it
so it's illegal to raise taxes
or not sell your lithium to American and British companies.
Yeah.
This was like a centerpiece of Boric's new administration
and sort of like the hopes for a new Chile
that would like, finally get passed the dictatorship
that this country imposed on it.
The constitution would have guaranteed universal health care,
gay rights, abortion, like a lot of good things.
But yeah, and it was like,
I've read some analysis of it that it wasn't like
the people wanted to, it wasn't really recommended like,
do we want to keep the Pinochet era constitution?
It was just sort of like, oh, we don't want this constitution.
But the best analysis, like one way or the other
of something like this that I saw was from Vincent Bevinz,
who said that like in the democratic world,
just recently, like anytime you give voters,
like if you put, if you pose something to voters as like,
do you want what you currently have now or something better?
Do you want to go for what's in the box?
It just, it never works, depending.
Nobody wants, I think the box is working.
It doesn't matter, no one wants to go out to the box.
No one wants to know what's in the box.
Get out of there.
There's no legitimacy or implicit trust
because it hasn't been built.
If it got, it was either never built the first place
or more often the case, ripped out and destroyed,
which is certainly the case in Chile.
Well, I mean, yeah, disheartening.
It's hard to see what Boris does from here.
I mean, did they just go back to the drawing board
and they're like, okay, try, how about this constitution?
I should think that, yeah, I think that they're gonna start
over again, so that's good.
Okay.
They should just use the Golden Corral
customer bill of rights.
Just good enough, free refills.
Or the thing that they have in front
of every cracker barrel now that's like,
we're not racist anymore.
We were, this plaque here certainly was not court ordered.
Yeah, so that's a step back, but hey,
let's just jump across the Atlantic.
Here's some good news.
Just a tip of the cap, a tip of the cap,
and just a wide, a wide cheeky wink
and sort of raise of the pint glass
to the new British prime minister, Liz Truss.
Liz Truss folks.
We've got, dude, I trust in Truss.
And we're all gonna get, we're getting trust up by Liz
and whatever the fuck she's doing.
She's grabbing us by the trust.
Whoever the fuck she is.
Yeah, I have no idea who this person is.
Who the fuck is this?
An absolute becoming last, in my opinion.
Is she a top bird?
Is she a goer?
Oh my God, yeah.
This is just like a masterwork of a bird.
Hold on, I'm looking up who the fuck this woman is.
So I can thank her parents who are,
Jesus Christ, what a long article.
I mean, I guess she's prime minister, but like who cares?
Professor John Kenneth Truss and Priscilla Truss,
formerly known as Priscilla Grasby.
Yeah, good work on creating such a fire daughter.
She is, I've never heard of this fucking woman
before ever in my life.
I want Boris back.
I don't, I don't even know how to make fun of her.
I mean, I'm sure she's awful, but I mean, look,
let's just stick to what we know boys here.
I know we've gotten a little far field of our knowledge
and I don't want to say anything that's untrue.
So let's just rely on what we do know,
which is back Boris, bring back Boris, Boris Brexit,
Boris, come back now, we want you.
Yeah, I'm very sick of you fucking English motherfuckers
trying to make us remember more guys and gals.
This is ridiculous, it's too many.
I don't know about you.
Get back to Boris.
I don't know about you guys,
but the moment that Boris like actually got on the plane
to like go like give his foreskin to the queen
or like whatever they do when they'd step down is PM.
It felt like that was an awful feeling
because it's like, okay, it's done.
Like the two faces out of the tube, he can't be saved
because every day that it seemed like Boris
was going to step down, they're like,
oh, conservative MPs might rebel
and might like demand that we keep Boris.
And I thought the fund would keep going,
but no, it sucks.
We have Liz trust.
Well, there is apparently a group.
There's a small caucus of Tory PMs
who are trying to get a no confidence vote going
so that they can bring back Boris.
It's there, it's still alive.
So Boris can come back if we believe in it.
Well, you know, if you know any of those Tory MPs
who are looking for, you know,
a fairly sizable American podcast platform
to be interviewed on or help get their message out,
send them our what?
We back Boris. Absolutely.
We raise a pint to Boris every,
before we start recording,
I mean, honestly, I wish we could share it with you.
We all raise a pint of it, pint of ale, pint of bitters,
some logger to the number one lad, Boris Johnson.
We want a cheeky pint, isn't it?
He's just like, yeah, no, we just believe in him.
We always have. Always will.
And I just, I, you know, I was kidding for, I do not,
I do not trust trust.
Don't like, I do not like. Trust is sus.
Yeah, trust is sus.
Let's get that hashtag going.
So yeah, who is Liz trust?
All I know about her is, is this the clip.
In December, I'll be in Beijing,
opening up new pork markets.
That's her. That is the Charisma Dynamo
about to take over the UK.
Good luck, lady, when, when they're fighting
in the streets for fuel in the, in the winter.
Yeah. They're burning down big Ben
just as they can get some warmth.
That is the Prime Minister,
like before the Hitler guy in Befruits Vendetta.
It's like who immediately comes before.
Oh, God damn.
She makes a, she makes fucking,
you know, you know, you know,
God damn, she makes a, she makes fucking,
she makes Theresa May just look like James Brown
in 1971.
Yes.
She had dynamo.
She had to dance at least.
I feel good.
Yeah.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh yeah. Oh God.
Oh God. The Theresa May dance.
Oh, just like the jerky halting motion of her body.
Just, oh, good God.
Her arms like two highlight baskets.
Giant scoop arms.
She was amazing.
Pork markets.
She's opening new pork markets.
Well, I mean, actually someone should,
someone should be asking her about that.
She was just, she was over in China,
fucking around with, with, with, with hog markets,
wet markets.
Very good question.
You know, was this, was this a Wuhan pork market?
Liz Truss, I think some questions need to be answered.
I'll be opening new pangolin markets next month.
The new chips in England will just be pangolin shards,
you know, like they're sort of scales.
Those are probably, those are probably good for your bones.
They probably have a lot of calcium in them.
I'm having a pangolin butty, mate.
Just like a couple stacks, a couple stacks of those scales
on, on a piece of bread and some buddy.
Oh yeah. Good luck, England.
Yeah. You're going to meet it.
Oh my God.
Jesus Christ.
And they're all, honestly, they're all salivating
over the prospect.
They love it.
They love it.
Finally get to live in the Blitz.
They love it.
They can't wait to live,
living in the underground stations for warmth or whatever.
And it's just like, this is the height of being British.
This is what being British is all about.
Did you see that crazy, that crazy old bat on British TV
telling people to like put aluminum foil behind their
radiator, it's like double the heat.
There we go.
And she was like, don't put your couch against the radiator.
You want to heat the house, not the couch.
But if I'm sitting on the couch though, then I'm warm
because I'm basically on like a warmed couch.
Concentrates more efficiently.
There are many, many thrifty ways that you can heat a can
of beans.
But yeah, welfare scroungers out there, you know,
you're going to have to get the spirited Dunkirk in you
because it's going to be fucking cold this winter.
Yeah.
And by cold, I mean, I don't know what 50 degrees,
what's the coldest gets over there.
They're going to be dying.
Yeah. One way or another, some frozen lima beans there.
Oh, it's going to be good.
I guess this goes back to Trump, but we go from
England to France.
Did you see Trump bragged he had intelligence on
Macron's sex life?
Ooh.
Yeah.
What could it be?
I mean, I feel like don't we all have that same
intelligence on Macron's sex life that he married
his fucking English teacher or something?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He likes some mature, like some sort of, you know.
Yeah, it is very funny that Trump apparently thought that like
it was key to get some sort of sexual blackmail on a
French president.
He did not understand the assignment, but maybe it's
just that the other, maybe it's just that the guy,
he loves gossip.
It's like, oh, I got the CIA at my disposal.
Tell me who's, tell me who's having sex with who.
And then I'll be like, I'll get people in there.
I'll be like, you'll never guess who Macron is seeing.
I mean, like, if it were to be like Compromat, it would be
like, I have intelligence that Macron has literally only
fucked his wife during the tenure of their marriage.
Yeah, that would be very, that would bring down the
government.
Like he doesn't believe, he's had many opportunities to
take a mistress and he's, you know, declined them all
because of his love and loyalty to his former history
teacher.
No, sicko shit.
Get out of here.
Just from Rolling Stone, I'm just reading here, it says,
it's not clear whether the Macron-related document the
FBI sees during the raid had anything at all to do with
the French president's personal life, nor is it clear
whether the information on Macron's sees from Mar-a-Lago
is derived from US intelligence collection or even
classified.
But the mere revelation of his existence triggered a
transatlantic freakout according to two other sources
familiar with the situation.
And Trump's prior talk about Macron's allegedly naughty
ways that not very many people know only intensified
those concerns.
Both French and US officials work to figure out precisely
what Trump had on Macron and France's government.
And if any of it was sensitive in nature, the sources
said.
The officials in both nations wanted to know if this
discovery signified some kind of national security
breach, or if it amounted to a frivolous but stolen
keepsake.
Stolen keepsake from Macron.
He's just like, he's just pilfering pens and fucking
stationary.
He's got the pink panther folks.
I got it.
I mean, I got it.
Only a clumsy inspector could possibly get it back.
I mean, I have to say that by virtue of him just saying,
like, oh, he's been naughty, that if it isn't the
same thing that we all know, obviously, it's like he
had an affair.
He had a normal affair, which they all do.
Like, what the fuck?
Yeah, it's hard to imagine what kind of
chicanery and hijinks a French politician could get
up to that would be a national security breach or
something that would bring down their government.
So Macron, no matter whatever naughty hijinks you've
gotten up to, I think you can sleep soundly tonight
knowing that it's probably not going anywhere.
Or actually, we don't know.
The special master is on the case.
So we'll see what the special master comes out of.
You always got to remember, folks, there's a
special master out there.
Yeah.
And they could upend the board at any time.
Okay, here's another story from International
News.
This will be of note to our Catholic listeners.
You should be of interest in this.
Pope dissolves Knights of Malta leadership
issues new constitution.
Holy shit.
This is for your history heads out there.
He's calling back to, he's going old school now.
Dissolving the Knights of Malta.
Yeah, that's right, folks.
Delphs are in control.
Okay.
The Pope's party is riding high.
We're going to see all of the all of the traders, all
the snakes, they're all coming out when the when
the Pope here cuts the grass.
I don't know too much about like Catholic lore or
hierarchy or like what you want your build to be
to be a long lasting Pope or like what alliances
you need to make.
But someone said that it's like he's trying to
avoid a coup.
That person seems to know a lot more about the
Vatican than I do.
So I'll take their word for it.
Just reading here from Reuters.
Pope Francis on Saturday dissolved the leadership
of the Knights of Malta, the global Catholic
religious order and humanitarian group and
installed the provisional government ahead of
the election of a new grandmaster.
The change which the Pope issued in a decree came
after five years of often acrimonious debate
within the order and between some top members
of the old guard and the Vatican over a new
constitution some feared would weaken its sovereignty.
He also did some moves of sort of knee capping a
lot of the sort of authority of Opus Dei as well.
So yeah, it seems like he is trying to head off
at the past.
You know, some of the more some of the more
restive elements in his coalition in the Vatican.
So we'll see we'll see how the election goes.
So I mean he's got to keep the moderates in line
but you know he could we could we could be seeing
a new Pope sometime soon depending on how the
vote shake out.
I hope that the new Pope is perhaps I don't
know maybe a break from tradition in some way
around race or age perhaps maybe a maybe
instead of another old Pope maybe maybe hear me
out a young Pope.
Remember that guy?
What about what about teen Pope?
A teen Pope?
It's not it's not illegal.
The best part about the Pope is that it's not
they don't even technically have to be a clergyman.
So it's sort of like Supreme Court justices.
Yeah, you can make Mel Gibson the Pope if you want.
Oh, now we're talking and let's go.
There is an amazing choice.
If the Francine faction in the current Civil War
of the within the Vatican loses they absolutely
the the the ultra-mantain guys should absolutely
put the Mel Gibson in there just as an absolute
show of show of their position.
Yeah, but then I mean like then he'll stop acting
and direct or maybe you can keep acting and directing
and move.
Yes.
It's just as Pope.
Yes.
Can you imagine he's he's he's behind the camera
and he's got the hat on?
You know, but like he'll have to like he'll be
in character but he can't get out of costume.
You know, so it's just like lethal weapon five.
It's him and Danny Glover doing smooths and goose
but he's got you know the the mitre.
He's got a he's got a tiara.
Yeah, he's got all the the silken robes on or whatever
and it's just you know I'm too old for this shit.
All right, I guess I guess return to America for a second.
We're just you know running through the storm this year.
The other really funny thing going on right now in
in terms of the election is a god of fraud.
Rick Scott has somehow been appointed but put in charge
of all of the money for the Republican National
Senate Committee and he spent all of it.
That's pretty well.
It says basically one fundraising scheme used by
the Senate Committee which has not previously been disclosed
involves sending an estimated millions of text messages
that ask provocative questions.
Should Biden resign?
Followed by a request for cash.
Reply yes to donate.
Those who replied yes had their donation
processed immediately though the text did not reveal
in advance where the money was going.
Privately some Republicans complained the tactic
was exploitative.
Wynne Redd the party's main donation processing platform
recently stepped in and took the unusual step
of blocking the committee from engaging in the practice
according to four people familiar with the matter.
So I mean like Rick Scott has raised like a record amount
of money basically he's raised something like $180 million
by the end of July this year but has already spent 95% of it
which is certainly it's a cause for a few eyebrows
to be cocked in an uproot position shall we say.
But I mean he's the god of fraud.
He's he's the king of stealing money.
It is it is it's wild that they were like hey
we need one of our senate brethren to be in charge
of raising and distributing funds.
How about the guy who is entire claim to fame
is just doing unprecedented world historical Medicare fraud.
Like you that was his one trick you put him in charge
it's all he knows how to do.
There's no other value add with what other than him looking
like a freshly born xenomorph.
There is no benefit to him other than his scam history
his brilliant knowledge of how to rip things off
which is you you idiots.
I mean usually like when you when you raise
that big of a war chest you're you're hoping to spend it
like you know leading up to the election.
You know I mean not not as soon as you raise it
it's already out the door to Christ knows where
and I do like the bit about like you know
because we all get the text like you know you know reply no
to stop these texts or whatever but like you know
you have selected no meaning no you would you would not
like us to stop sending you these texts and also
charging your checking account every time you reply.
But I mean come on like this is a brilliant fundraising
strategy for raising money from the fucking the the old
people that make up most of the people who donate to campaigns
right and especially Republican old people they love
they love getting fleeced over the phone and the internet.
They do love getting scammed.
It's their favorite thing they love clicking a link that says
after their password it says has been taken or something
like that click this link to win a new iPhone or something
like that but you know respond with your social security
number to support Rick Scott and Senator Republicans.
They love it it's their favorite thing in the world.
I saw one email one fundraising email that said
you are the only Republican in your area who has not
been briefed on this secret email why why are you betraying
Trump like this download this email and then delete it
immediately like they're gonna get they're gonna be put on
like the prescription lists if they don't get this
intelligence briefing.
That was like when we went to the Wall
Berkman press conference at the Gaylord Convention Center
at CPAC and they handed out they handed out their dossiers
on Ilan Omar's legitimate marriage to her brother
and they just said top secret classified on the cover
sheet and they were like yeah we're clearing you we're
clearing you to read these documents now and I was like
I just want to be clear like I have been assigned a Q level
clearance to read these documents I don't want to go to
jail I don't want I don't want to have to apply
in the special master.
Yeah we could have all we could have needed one like we
could have it could have been three years ago we found out
what a special master is before anyone because we were
yeah we were not cleared to read those documents but
thankfully we were so I'm you know I've not worried about
that so yeah uh just an astonishing I mean Rick Scott
what a god he's the man but he knows his business and that
is uh scamming the elderly.
Yep and I guess like it's his life's work it's it's his it's
his true love taking money from old people uh and then using
it to uh put unguents on his disgusting bald head.
I mean like he's obviously brilliant at stealing money
from old people but like I think and the governor and the
government yeah but I guess from if you're Mitch McConnell
in the Republican Party the question is like what are you
doing with all the money that you stole it that you
stole it seems like it seems like the maybe I don't know
maybe when did he point it because it has to have been
a while now I maybe he is I mean he's probably a good fund
raiser himself is what it is they probably pick guys who
have a good track record and good networks and then but they
put them in charge of a whole thing including all of these
digital uh elements and they could just go hog wild they
could just they can get real creative and they have.
I guess like the uh the the last news story from this week
that I want to talk about that is like I guess like outside the
realm of campaigning uh I'm wondering if you guys uh have
followed this whole thing with um Kiwi Farms and the Twitch
streamer Keffels like I was only I was basically made aware of
what Kiwi Farms is this week I had been on Keffels stream for
like 20 minutes I went on her show to do like a like a fund
raiser but like I'd like Felix like I like I know you saw
this story like like what is your take on this whole thing
because from what I can tell Kiwi Farms was a fucking sewer
and they blight and she's done every Keffels has done everyone a favor
fucking uh just sending that down the fucking toilet.
Yeah you know I'm like usually against like any take like
knocking any type of site off I do think it crosses the line
when it's like the point is just like getting people to kill
themselves right like the point is being like oh here's this
person's like a dress and phone number when that's like the main
focus I think that's different than any like
speech concern you know I have to say I was very surprised that it
happened I was not I was not betting on Keffels
winning here that was not that was not my guess it was not my
first guess that would happen I was very surprised I mean
holy shit and like what can you say and like this is the forum
that like was basically started around people um
I don't know like pouring over every detail of Chris Chan's life
yeah and I mean like okay so the argument for this website
existing is like okay look at like how many people that we have uh
we've cataloged all all the information look at the ones that are
pedophiles look at the ones that are rapists look at the
look at Chris Chan you know Chris Chan raped her mom
okay well Chris Chan is probably the most documented
doxxed uh ordered pizzas to person ever in the history of humanity right
did that work do you know what I mean how well did that fucking work
did you think that yeah you think that made them a better or worse person like
despite how like you know I don't know maybe mentally
unwell or I don't know malevolent their personality was to begin with
but yeah like what like it just seems like that the whole purpose of this site
was like an even more um like I just sort of like an
even seedier and like less well known but way more widespread
libs of tiktok yeah and it was just yeah like
and like you know like and like and like actually swatting people like
like sending a fucking swat team to their house
shit like that yeah I mean like there's a similar thing that everyone does online
now right it's that you're the reason that you're like
laughing at someone or like archiving every bit of information on them is
because you think they're a freakish person but that there's always a
justification if you're lefty it's that like oh they're
fucking racist or they're they're not all men guy
um and that's it's rarer in those instances that you'll swat someone
though it has happened in this case you know it's like
like okay in the few instances that like they did catalog like pedophiles or
something that's not the reason you were like looking
after them you know yeah exactly it was like yeah like no you're
looking for someone who like can fit the like pre-made
excuse in your head to do the thing that you already wanted to do to them and
other people which is like yeah make their life hell
get them to kill themselves fucking and then like and then revel in it with
other people it just seemed like a fucking just like a giant like
waterwheel of like human misery and cruelty that um
I don't know I mean it's it's it's it's hard for you to imagine like you know
like free you know free speech or like you know the open internet or whatever
it's just like is humanity like better or worse off
with with or without this thing existing and it's very hard for me to come
down on the ladder that like you know like you
can can cock some argument that like oh like actually like
as or just like to like to feel up in arms or like take any kind of
contrarian position on something like this just being thrown in the trash and
just getting rid of it yeah no I really don't see any
reason to keep it around and then like also like this is in light
of the bomb I mean like this happened like a week after like someone called an
bomb threat to the Boston Children's Hospital because of
libs of tiktok and like Matt Walsh and like that just over yeah like
because you know like they as part of their it's a children's hospital and
they provide I would assume like some some level of you know a
transcare or you know help transitioning for for kids
and you know like if you're there to protect children
from groomers or whatever again it's like that's just like because you know
like children you know once you have that in your mind it like justifies like
basically doing anything if you think that like someone's imperiling children
but when you're calling it a bomb threat to the like one of the country's biggest
and best children's hospitals even if it's a fake
bomb threat it's just like what do you like what do you think you're doing
here like are you protecting kids I mean it because like again in their mind I
think they would say yes and that's all Matt Walsh or whatever was like oh
like you know I'm owed an apology or something because it
wasn't a real bomb and when everyone said that someone called
in a bomb threat that was like fake because or like it's it
the stories need to be corrected because there was no bomb it was just
someone made a bomb threat whereas like the headline is bomb threat called in
it doesn't necessarily imply that there is a bomb
it's just but just something that demands that you have to investigate it
and like evacuate you know a hospital full of patients to do
so yeah pretty gross and I guess just a shout out to
Keffels like I was I was basically unaware of
what Kiwi Farms was or how much they'd made her life a living hell
but yeah just shout out to her hope she stays safe
I guess before we before we finally end the show today
I'd like to just pause to give a in memoriam
to former chopo guest Barbara Ehrenreich just a proper RIP and respect
from all of us here at the chopo family
hugely influential writer was honored that she came on the show
but I mean this with all respect we'll be remembered
at least fondly and dearly to my heart for inspiring my favorite tweet of all
time yes she will finally now be able to reckon
with the multiplicity of her fences and the intersectional nature of them also
um Barbara wherever you are you did a racism
you did an imperialism you did no growth and you know what that's the funniest
part about that tweet is that the actual tweet says you did no growth
but as long as I as long as I've ever been aware of it as long as the number
of times you've said it on this show for me it will always be
you did a no growth and I think yeah that's a death of the author thing
yeah exactly it's just it's it's such a better phrase it works so much better
it's a concept that has unlimited utility yeah you did no growth is just
like awkward grammatically yeah that is like an
introduction a new introduction to the language a new thing
the concept of a no growth and you know when we had Barbara on it was to talk
basically about uh death and um like her um basically acceptance of death
so I mean I think if she was very admirable in that regard but
you know Barbara wherever you are in your honor we will continue to do
many many no growths I will continue to just not grow many no growth yes never
gonna grow that's the promise let a thousand no growths bloom
is my message to you all let them no grow yeah stay the same
they don't bloom they don't they don't do anything they don't grow
so they stay where they are a thousand of them and then just
one more time from myself and the entire choppo family
rest in peace to Barbara Aaron Reich sending our best wishes to your
friends and family what a life what a legacy she leaves
so till next time gentlemen bye bye