Chapo Trap House - 696 - Meet the Schlapps feat. Seeking Derangements (1/9/23)

Episode Date: January 10, 2023

We’re joined by Ben and Hesse of Seeking Derangements to look at the bungled coup in Brazil, Matt Schlapp’s sexual harassment accusations and prince Harry’s explosive new book about getting frostbite on his dick. Finally, we read a New York Post story about parents whose kids hate them so much they have to hire deprogrammers. LINKS+PLUGS: Seeking Derangements patreon: https://www.patreon.com/seekingderangements Hell on Earth launch party, Littlefield, NYC 1/20/23: https://littlefieldnyc.com/event/?wfea_eb_id=479703214227 And Introducing DJ night, Elsewhere, NYC 1/18/23: https://www.elsewherebrooklyn.com/events/night-rippers-presented-by-audio-video-disco-18th-jan-the-loft-new-york-tickets Talking Simpsons @ SF Sketchfest feat. Matt, 1/25/23: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/talking-simpsons-10p-seating-tickets-500829052177

It's Monday, January 9th. It's a travel day for one Matt Christman, but fear not, both myself and Felix are here. But joining us for your edification is our good friends, Hessa and Ben from Seeking Derangements. Back again. Hessa, Ben, Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. Hello. Happy New Year. Thanks for having us. It's always great to have you here. It's been a busy week.

We've got some big news stories happening over the weekend. So just to kick it off, let's begin with there's a new date in January that will now live in infamy. That's right. January 8th in Brazil will now go down in history as somehow an even lame or coup attempt than the one we had in America. So rule number one, rule number one here, just for folks paying attention at home. If you are attempting to overthrow the government of your country on behalf of a recently defeated political leader, you have to make sure that said political leader is in the country at the time that you do.

Well, yeah. Okay. So that was a strange feature about all of this, right? Was that Bolsonaro and his most trusted like non son lieutenants all went to Orlando and they're like, all right, let's give ourselves like five days to plan this. Five days, you know, we'll sit in the writer's room. We'll get some five hour energies. We'll bang this out. I got I have dark web by vans. We're going to get to the bottom of this thing. And after five days, what they got was we're going to send I'd say about 800 people to Congress when no one's there. And they're going to beat the shit out of a police horse until it dies and then get arrested by the military like a horse. They did kill a horse. Yeah. Supporters

saw Brazilian his vengeance against animals. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just I mean, I would say they got about five times closer on January 6, like at least they were in the building on January 6. No one was there. No one was there. It was like it was like the the robbery from bad Santa. It's like it was a coup attempt. The part in airplane where they're all lining up to slap that woman, except they're all it's like an 800 person line lining up to hit a horse with a bat. Yeah. So when the when the military got there after they had like, you know, broken. First of all, I'm sorry. Apologies to Brazil. Their congressional building looks like a fucking Macy's after they broke the revolving door of the Macy's

Congress and killed the horse. The military shows up and they start cheering because they're like, oh, this must mean that they've decided to break for us. This is like our our red October moment. We won't instantly get arrested instantly. Well, I mean, I thought that it was interesting because, you know, Brazil obviously is a country that's experienced the military dictatorship and coup. So like, you know, they've they've had the military intervene in their democratic process before. But once again, the strong men created good times, the good times create coup plotters that are just waiting for the military to step in and do something. Sorry, you got to do some of the work yourself. Well, yeah,

I mean, okay. So yeah, they had a coup very recently, you know, the coup that put to mayor and then by extension, Bolsonaro and power. But it's like, OK, well, you see why they sent a Washington train judge to put this all in motion. Why was it just you planning it that time? Mm hmm. I'll be honest. I didn't know about any of this until researching before the episode. I think that those people, everything they did was right. I agree with that. That horse was a menace. That horse deserved it. That horse was a menace. I think this might have actually been a targeted assassination of the horse disguised as a two attempt. If this was just like they wanted to kill this one police horse, then it would be like,

all right, let's hear him out. No one died. No one died, though. No one like tased himself in the nuts or accidentally like shot someone. No. So it's not quite. It's not that I know January 6. But yeah, you know, I just have to pass this along from Matt. He said how to tell January 6 from January 8. January 6. The attendees have names like Grunch Bunions. January 8. The attendees have names like Hercules Carvello. Yes. Yes. But he says, we're January 6. Wurring Engstrom takes a dump in the Senate cloakroom. January 8. Lincoln Rockwell, the Gama, takes a dump in Policio Justicio. I was thrilled to know, I was thrilled to find out, though, that Brazil has their own grippers and they have their own QAnon shaman. And I really

liked following the Brazilian griper is because one of them shared a photo of what of a dildo in a in like a shoulder bag and said this was found in the office of like a Brazilian Supreme Court judge, a sodomite toy and then the military covered it up. I love the idea of being like so gay that you can't even like not take your dildo to work. So I can't go eight hours without getting fucked in the ass. Switching dildos at work like you're switching shirts. I love like Brazil is like simultaneously like a thousand years in the future and a thousand years in the past because like they say things like a sodomite toy and then they're like club music is like designed to be listened to while you're doing a drug called like kooky kooky that is just like

mainlining like liquid mercury from thermometers into your bloodstream. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, okay. So yeah, half the people are named after Jefferson Davis. They, you know, have names like Jefferson Davis, Pereira, Merclades, as Matt alluded to. But then they also made Baby Rexha or Hexa, you know, because it's Albanian. No, no, no, no, there are just so many Albanian pop stars pop stars that look like her that you got confused. She is an actual honest to God, Brazilian. I thought she was a part of Albanian mafia as well. That actually explains a lot about her. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. She was the David Guetta blue song. She has the vocals on that. I'm obsessed with that song. It's so funny.

That's the song that the Brazilian patriots, the groipers were standing up and singing at Brazilian January 6. It's maybe the most improvised sounding song I've ever heard in my life. And it somehow beats out the song it's based on, which is the previous most improvised sounding song of all time. They beat it. So Brazil, they had their shot to do January 6. And it was, yeah, like I said, somehow even lammer than our coup attempt. There's something like 400 people have already been arrested and they're just like sort of sitting in a big warehouse right now, waiting to have charges filed against them. But once again, it's like, yeah, you can, you can hope your actions inspire the military. Look, we're all hoping the military

takes over this country. I know I am. But like you've got to, you can't just, can't just demand that they do it for you. You know, you got to have just a little bit of skin in the game. I don't know. You got to, I got to inspire the people, you know, and you can't just inspire them with a ripoff of our January 6, which also failed. So, you know, Brazil, step your game up, please. It's so funny that they were like two days later. That's what was missing from January 6. It was supposed to be, if it was on January 8, it would have succeeded. Well, they've had, they had two years to plan this thing based on the failures of January 6. And it doesn't seem like they really did their homework here. Well, no one, no one tased themselves.

That's true. They read the manuals for all the tasers before they went in. But like even, even, even more than that, it's like, well, this is a country that did have like a military dictatorship, like not that long ago. Like, like you, you think that they would remember how to, I don't know, change the oil, do something. But literally, they just, yeah, they took the American plan of just go there and run around and they'll have to take you to McDonald's. I'm like picturing like cross cuts of the, this coup attempt. And it cutting back to Bolsonaro, like looking at bananas at, at, like, at a public, well, like everybody wants to rule the world plays. There's a room where the doctors will find you, Jair. It's called the hospital.

Check it out. No, but yeah, no, he's getting updates on his phone about how his supporters are like, Jair, we're here from you. The country is ours. It will never be taken from us. And he's like, sorry, be right back. I have shingles covering 99% of my body. He's so funny. He's like the Jamila Jamil. He's so cool. Someone sent me a picture of the other, like earlier today, actually, of this, just like this poor random woman who looks kind of like Bolsonaro in a bad way at this restaurant in Florida. And they were like, look at, oh my God, he has to disguise himself. Yeah, I was going to say, like, there's no way they can extradite him because there are too many old people in Florida who look like beanbags with random diseases. Like there's no

way they're going to be able to find him. It's like the mirror scene from Enter the Dragon when they try to catch him. All right, guys, this should be easy. We're going to South Florida. We're looking for a guy with sort of like, I don't know, distressed leather like skin and 90% druby dog jowls. Druby dog jowls. And it's almost like he has a camouflage of liver spots. Should not be too hard. We're putting out a bolo for someone whose face is sort of frozen and some sort of death rictus smirk. And what has currently has breathing tubes in his face at all times. And then it's also for some reason, his hand is also frozen rigor mortis style and a thumbs up. Look for a man grinning and giving a thumbs up very close to death. Yeah, we're looking.

We're looking for we're looking for we're looking for Dougie Jones, who has a tube connecting his colon to a super soap. Not if you are fine. We're going to get him. It's literally nine guys there right now. No, but poor showing from Bolsonaro supporters. I mean, why the fuck would he go back to Brazil now after after after some weak shit like that? But if he looks, I will disagree with you for a second here. Just to go back to what you said about the capital of Brazil and Brasilia. I think their capital is very cool looking. I think it's very cool and modern. And I wish we had a Macy's looking capital in this country. I think it looks like the Grove. That's why it's cool. That's why

I like it. I don't know. It's not very based. I don't know if you saw this, but you know how Victor Orban is like just does every like internet conservative thing. He's doing a thing now where he's like read he's like decucking the architecture of Hungary and making it classical again. I wanted both Bolsonaro didn't even do that. Yeah, he's making it harder for the politicians there to jump out of the windows where 12 by orgies are happening. Man, that guy was great. If there had only been some iron on those windows, he could have just, you know, he could have been stayed there and fucking sucked. I literally in my mind's eye picturing this coup. It's all like waxed eyebrow jacked tanned

Brazilian gay hustlers. No, I know. I was thinking the same thing too. I had no clue. I saw like two videos and I was like my only reference point for Brazilian culture are like really buff gay guys with like blonde facial hair. Yeah, I'm like, I guess they're going crazy at the capital right now. Well, it was the B.B. Rexett concert. Oh, yeah, of course. Some Brazilians are like marvels of bodybuilding and pharmaceuticals. And some just like, I mean, we've made the point several times that they're just, you know, it's America with Portuguese instead of English soup stock. And they just, you know, they look like dumpy Americans, but maybe like a shade Tanner. I just, once again, I'm loving the idea of Bolsonaro in the Orlando based home of an MMA

fighter sleeping in his minions themed bedroom, watching his country. I mean, it's just he can only, he can only watch in a mute horror. The minions from his minions themed race car bed. Okay. I kind of do want to ask Felix, who it seemed like on the last episode, you knew a little bit about this fighter. Why does he have a minions themed room in his house? Do you have any insights as to his mindset, his minion mindset, 20 years of combined brain trauma? Okay. I mean, Josie Aldo Josie Aldo has always been one of my favorite fighters. He is one of the best 145 pounders ever incredibly exciting, fun fighter at one point, an amazing, unbeatable, seeming champion. Like many fighters suffered some vicious beatings towards the end of his career,

and that probably activated the part of his brain that was like, oh, I'm soothed by sleeping on a minion's comforter. Yeah. He literally wasn't there before. Fluently understands what they're saying. It means something. Yes. I agree. Bolsenero has just ruined the minion's bread spread by spilling the contents of his neti pot, which includes, Bolsenero's neti pot just contains the contents of his stomach, then he then pours into his nasal cavity and then sort of recycles it through himself. I'm picturing him putting water in the neti pot and putting it through his nostrils and it comes out the other side looking like the stuff Freddie Quill drinks in the master, like glowing yellow. Well, better luck next time to Bolsenero and the Brazil style Gropers. Better

luck next time for them. But I'd like to move on now to another great news story from the weekend that deals with the return of a chapeau favorite, a favorite chapeau character, a man we first encountered live and in person back at CPAC in National Harbor, Maryland. This is a favorite story of mine because I get to say the word and I say word, but it's really more of a sound. That's right. Slap. Matt, slap. Slap, slap, slap. He's been slapping all over the place and listeners would, okay, so over the weekend, I saw the headline, CP, a conservative political action union conference founder, match slap accused of groping Herschel Walker staffer. And then I was just like, do my eyes deceive me? Click through. Then to find out listeners,

to find out this was a male staffer that he was accused of, I don't know what to believe anymore because if a guy who's on stage persona is Felix, as you described him like sort of a community theater director, sort of like the quirky saint player of CPAC. Yeah, I don't, it's, I lit it, you know what? When I first said that, you know, I was kind of like, there was something in the back of my mind that was like, I don't know, am I just saying that because he just sounds effeminate? Is this, am I just doing like a replay of like the Lindsey Graham, Marcus Bachman thing? Is this like really there? I mean, like, who gives a shit? But no, no, he is of that type of that specific type of movement conservative gay guy. And by of that type, I mean, they all

have the same fumbling, they're exposed in the same fumbling way, which is basically like, they find a straight guy who they like try to rape in their car. And then and then during work hours. Yeah, during like 3pm. And then when the guy like freaks out and runs away, they like try to FaceTime him like nine times and are like, wait, I think you like misinterpreted me. I was, I was like trying to pull your hamstring. I was doing an office prank on you. Yeah. It's just like, it's so funny. It's like any old white guy with a noun for a last name is like, hey, do you want to do you want to have an evening to discuss your political future? You need to bring a base or like a device with you. When when you guys like contacted us to come

on, I was like, OK, who's gay? Yeah, something just like a plan is gay. Yeah. Yeah. We got a lot of gay stories. Okay, did you guys do you know his life's name is Mercedes? Mercedes. A little bit from the the the the groping allegations from NBC News. It says here, quoting it says, he reached in between my legs and fondled me. The former Walker staffer told NBC News in a telephone interview. To my shame, I didn't say anything to stop Schlapp. Stop the Schlapp. That's what that's what people in Brazil were trying to do. They were trying to stop Lula from slapping all over their country. I can see I can see Detective Olivia Benson comforting this man. It's not sure. It's it's very normal. Yeah. 35 percent of victims don't react when assaulted.

Yeah. Hey, don't blame don't blame yourself. Blame Schlapp. Schlapp is what happened to you. Not what you failed to stop. Schlapp happens. That's ice tees line. Yeah, they do real sick shit. It's called slapping. Slapping my crap. I'm slapping my crap in the corner over here thinking about Matt Slav. You tell me this is a gay man who married a woman named Mercedes and didn't expect to be found out. No, he does. He has gay face. He has gay face. Yeah. Yeah. You can definitely see it in his. He has like pervy just eyes, just the energy, his little like spiked up hair in the front. Yeah. It's so gay. This looks like a guy. This is a guy who would message you on Grindr and be like, I stand you. Your hair is slay.

You are looking so stand today. Just a few more details. Yeah, he has like it's like he has gay face, but not like the life of like a confident, like out gay man. No, like the type of guy who owns a gas station rural Maryland and like, you know, you know, it can only have sex by like basically impressing surface on shoplifters. Yeah. He has the kind of gay face where he's like, he's like very, like one of the cops at the beginning of cruising is what I would compare him to. Because it's very like, hi, like, how are you like friendly kind of faggy or can I not say that? Sorry. Well, you can say that. Yeah, fun. Friendly, like faggy smile and then suddenly

like a switch flips and his eyes just go like total dead, like soulless evil. Yeah. Yeah. Like and then he just tries to grab your crotch like a few more details from the story. It says, the mid level Walker aid was assigned to show for a slap who invited him to meet for drinks that night at the Capitol Grill restaurant in the Buckhead section of Atlanta. He believed the extra face to face time could help him solidify a personal connection with one of the party's most influential figures. See, I'm wondering if like this mid level Walker staffer, if everyone around the office was like, yeah, that guy's probably gay. I'm to show for the slap around town. Maybe we're doing him a favor. He could really have his career helped out by

now. If you're if you're put on slap duty, your stuff. Yeah. Us as hell. I'm sorry to dirty jobs with Mike Rose. Yeah, this is like, I have not seen this guy. But like, you know, knowing that they put him on slap duty tells me he's one of those young 39 year old conservatives who has like a pompadour, but with the side shaved way too tight. And they're like, oh, he's perfect for this assignment. He had the tallest hair in the office. I love in the in the article I read, it was very funny. It was like, um, he doesn't want to he wants to remain anonymous so that his future as a GOP politician doesn't get harmed. And it's like, oh, as the two men began to drink, the staffer said, slap, apologize for the bar being dead. The staffer took slap to Manuel's Tavern, a well-known haunt for Georgia Politico's about

let's go to this place I know called the hole. It's a little more lively. I love you. I mean, just like you take taking out like this actual assault and like closeted aspect of this story, like hanging out one on one with like a 64 year old man. And he's like, oh, I'm sorry, this bar is dead. I'm picturing like a touch of evil where Orson Wells, the guy's getting Orson Wells drunk. We could kill him, you know, we can do it. So because yeah, sorry, what's it like? Sorry, this bar in Bankhead, Atlanta isn't quite litty for you, but let's go to a different haunt that I know that's called Manuel's. It's a slap who drank Tito's vodka during the night, began intruding into my personal space at the second bar, the

staffer said. At one point, slap bumped into the staffer's gun while their legs touched, the staffer said. Prompting slap to ask what he was carrying. Oh my God. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So this guy had a gun on him. He had a gun on him and he still allowed this slap to slap him up. What is this ground? What is the point of two a if you still get groomed by that slap? Yeah. Like not like a well regulated militia is supposed to prevent this. It would be funny if he like double tapped him in the dome. He would literally be the new like president. I know it's a slap is the Martin Scorsese cameo and taxi driver. He's just driving around going in. Hey, that's my campaign office up there. You know, he's in there, not not her so Walker. He's

not in there. You ever see what a 44 Magnum does to a campaign staffer's pussy? There aren't more allegations. Like no way this guy hasn't been doing this for 20 forever. Well, Milo claimed Milo Yiannopoulos. Oh, yeah. He also former Marjorie Taylor Greene intern. Yeah. Marjorie Taylor Greene intern and frequent user of random social media apps. Milo Yiannopoulos. Milo Yiannopoulos like, hey, guys, I'm on such a whale this weekend, not the movie. The new social media website. That's just the worst person on Twitter that'll be closed out in a bun. Yeah. He has gone through all the like nine apps that claim to be Vine successors. Yeah. Yeah. Just flopping on every single one. Just a few more details from the allegations.

It says here, are you uncomfortable looking at me? Shlapped ass later making me hate even more uncomfortable than he already was. He said in short order, he told slap that he had an early morning and it was best to call it a night. When the two arrived at the hotel, Shlapped invited the staffer to his room. The staffer said the staffer declined. Within a couple of hours around 12.45 AM, the staffer began recording videos of himself recounting what had happened, which he shared with NBC News. That's so funny. The what? Well, I'm not pretty enough for you is like a grinder message. The funniest, most like a meth head grinder message possible is like someone DMs you a picture of themselves and they're like, Hey, and then two minutes later, what am I not?

I'm sorry. I'm not gorgeous enough for you. You fucking like stuck up bitch. Oh, didn't know you wanted to cope with your career, though. You know, assistant. Those are poppers. But I was shocked. No, for no one else to come forward just means that the GOP is definitely getting gayer and gayer and gayer. Oh, yeah. Because like, he must have grabbed so many crotches this guy. Oh, my God. Yeah. Unless this was a soulmate. Unless he found the one. Too much Tito. Sorry, I'm not pretty enough. And then dropped him off at home. That is that is a very romantic way to look at it. I mean, like logic dictates, like,

there's no reason for him to go to any of these places. There's no like special expertise he offers anyone. Clearly, like he was just visiting campaigns for the entirety of his career, just so he could like, you know, corner a guy like, yeah, give it a show for who he could, you know, then attempt to like hold down and suck his cock forcefully. He got he got death in Venice by a guy named like Hayden Richardson. Yeah. Yeah. It was like 35. Yeah. This guy, like no one has actually assaulted more guys named Coulson than that slap. But I do like your idea that he just never maybe he felt like a tingling of this impulse before. But this was just he just connected with this guy. This was just like the one that is a very beautiful way to think of it.

Yeah. That's how you should spin it. That should be his PR. You should come out and be like, I'm gay and I just I met my soulmate that night. Please answer my calls. Please. And then I saw me, so made texted back and said, I'd love help with my career after you lose 40 pounds. Like what do you guys like this even fucking talk about like at the bar? Like what could they put like you've seen Air Force One. That's a really good movie. Yeah. Well, I mean, okay. Maybe maybe Schlapp just needed he needs a chauffeur and he's got to complain about the old ball and chain Mercedes. And I would like to talk about a little bit about this is this is a this is a New York Times profile that came out in 2018. And people are pointing out like this is a you

know, so the New York Times trying to like do a little beat sweetening for the Trump White House. So they give this big puff piece profile to the the Washington's hot new power couple. Title of the article, meet the schlaps. How do you not change your last name? So disgusting. Listen to this. This is a profile. This is a meet the schlaps the Trump Washington's Trump era it couple by Elizabeth Williamson for the New York Times says here. So they're out at dinner and it says Miss Schlapp's cell phone beckoned every few minutes as Mr. Schlapp, who said he had gained some 50 pounds during the campaign ordered a green salad and offered to split the entree with his wife. He looked weary. The schlaps has spent the weekend schlepping to

multiple performances of their daughter Vianna's school play in which she played the sound of music drag queen. It sounds like the new Thomas pension book that you're reading an excerpt from. No, but I feel like I remember back at CPAC you said his his presence on stave was like a guy going places everybody plays and come to find out that he spent the weekend going to multiple performances of his daughter's performance like his daughter's appearing in the sound of music. And this was OK. And this was the year that Republicans lost the House and Senate and Matt Schlapp spent all of this year just like bullying the bullying his daughter's understudies. Power couple indeed. And he gained 50. So over the course of a campaign,

well, let's generously assume he means like 50 pounds. That's crazy. That's so much weight to gain. Like how long is he in pain? He's gay. That means he was gaining weight. If we're going by general election campaign, he was gaining weight at a rate of 10 pounds a month. Oh, he like not notice. You know, he you know, he is one of those old gay guys who's like, take this away from me. I can't even look at it. And it's like a fiber one cheese cake flavor bar. Would you split fries? We can't even we can't even we shut it. Can you get us? Can you bring us fries? I'm sorry.

He's so he's so large fry small salad in a diet. That salad that he ordered for this interview is probably the first salad he's ordered in his life. It's true. The slaps met in the George W. Bush White House, where Ms. Schlapp, who is known as Mercy and grew up in Miami as the daughter of a Cuban emigre, was a liaison to Hispanic and special specialty news media outlets. Mr. Schlapp rose to the role of White House political director. He grew up in Wichita, Kansas, where he was a top ranked tennis player and taught Charles Koch's son, Chase, how to play. Mr. Schlapp, Mr. Schlapp, Mr. Schlapp, who had a preference for apparel

emblazoned with the leprechaun mascot of his alma mater, Notre Dame, was nervous about asking the glamorous mercy for a date. But the couple bonded over dinner at Morton's, a Washington steakhouse, where Ms. Schlapp ordered a slab of beef. I thought, I'm going to like this girl. She didn't get bird food, Mr. Schlapp said. Yeah. That's usually how you assess your attraction to a potential woman, is what she orders at dinner. As he's eating bird food in the interview, salad. I love the idea that bird food means like woman food. He's using the British use of bird. She's a top bird. She's not having proper, she's ordered proper scran at the footy. So he was intimidated by her because she was too glamorous. But then she ordered like, I guess an entire porter house to

herself and just housed like 28 ounces of beef. And he's like, Oh, I could make this work. Yeah. Maybe it's a lavender marriage. Honestly, they might both be gay. That's I could see. Kind of lesbians. Yeah. Mercedes is one of those like blazier lesbians. That could be beautiful as well for them. I was like, they're, they're, they both just eat actual bird food now that they're cutting. They have a beater. That's how he got so big. Caramel loading with bird food. Would you like to come back to my hotel room? I've got a great salt lick we can jump into. It's also so sad to be a closet gay guy who has like a blazer with the Notre Dame leprechaun on it, which is one of the worst logos ever created is like so funny. That's like, I,

I couldn't make up a worse outfit. I couldn't, you couldn't imagine a bigger red flag if someone was dressed like a literal red flag. He's meeting with college mascots and offering to help them with their career. He's in love with the Notre Dame leprechaun. He's just so feisty. He's got to fight in him. So yeah, we've met the schlaps man. What a, what a story. What a couple. I mean, of course, I should, I should state for the record, Matt Schlapp was, they did reach out to him for multiple news accounts in this article. He has not made a comment other than to say that these, through a spokesperson to say that these allegations are completely false. And he's been, you know, this is a political hit job on one of the most powerful conservative leaders in the

country. So just to be clear, these are all allegations about Schlapp slapping. These are all, these are just schlaps at this point. You will update further if it becomes verified. Just throwing shit at a wall and seeing which laps. It's like the sound of a hand covered in a like lube hitting someone's ass. Yeah, a summer sausage hitting a wall. By the way, I promise I'm a much calmer, nicer guy than it comes across on these interviews. Sometimes I get my Irish up just a little bit. And I also thank you. And I apologize that I'm up here solo because my feisty and beautiful wife, who I'm so proud of, she's decided to become a multitasker. And yes, she's the better and more famous television star defending our

conservative values every day. I'm proud of you, sweetheart. And I know you're somewhere here. I can see you. Well, I got one more news story from the weekend. Did any of you watch Prince Harry's appearance being interviewed by Anderson Cooper on 60 Minutes Last Night? I did not. Okay. All I want to do, I mean, like the interview was pretty funny. I was talking with Matt about it. We were talking about it last night. And I think the takeaway from the interview is one, unlike his dad and brother, Harry, as it like he absorbed his mother's ability to appear like a normal person in an interview. But like only so much because I totally agree with Matt that this guy 1000% believes that his family had his mother killed and is just swallowing it. Because that's

the one thing that he can't put in the book. You know, he'll put stuff about having his dick get frostbitten and like doing cocaine at 17. But he can't share his let's just say suspicions about what really happened to his mother. I just want to share this one part about how the interview opened. Anderson Cooper asked him, you write about a contentious meeting you had with him, meaning Prince William in 2021. You said, I looked at Willie, really looked at him maybe for the first time since we were born, since we were boys. I took it all in his familiar scowl, which had always been his default in dealings with me, his alarming baldness, more advanced in my own, his famous resemblance to mummy, which is fading with time with age. Anderson Cooper says,

that's pretty cutting. Prince Harry goes, I don't see it as cutting at all. You know, my brother and I love each other. So he has his alarming baldness. Yeah, doing this, doing it, bitchy things. Something Ben would say does not. You insult someone and then they're like, that's really rude. You're like, actually, I didn't mean it in a mean way. I was just being descriptive. It's just, I'm not deciding. I guess there's a revelation here. I tell much he hates his older brother. And I guess like, how could you not? But I mean, there's some there's some other pretty cool stuff here. Like, I says he, Prince Harry took cocaine at 17 and killed 25 people in Afghanistan.

So we can relate to at least one of those things. I don't. OK, the 25, the 25 people is insane. It's insane. Doesn't he say afterwards like, oh, I don't feel bad about it because they weren't people to me. They were just targets or something. So he said, he said, my turn. I said, I said, I do them as chess pieces, as pieces in a chess game. But it's like, I don't believe that. OK, so he killed at least like four times as many people as King Vaughn. How do you tell that you killed 25 Afghans? It isn't cod. There's no scoreboard. It isn't confirmed. You don't pick up the dog tags. Like, did someone tell him? Is there a record keeper?

Well, he was just gunning down POWs. Well, he's a helicopter problem. Those guns have cameras on them. OK, fine. OK. You said, like, how could he kill 25 people? He flew a fucking helicopter. That's just one squeeze of the trigger there. However, I have a theory about this. Now, Felix, you, you, you would suspect that the claim, the 25 body count for Prince Harry is cap. Are you are you throwing the cap flag on that? Can you pick your King Vaughn getting slapped to the ground by Prince William? I can't. You're right. I can't. With one, like, one-third the bodies. OK. That is your, that is, that is your take on this, Felix. I, I'm going to slightly agree with you. I think he didn't, he didn't kill 25 people in Afghanistan. I think he killed one person,

but it wasn't a person. It was a giant. He killed one of the giants in Afghanistan that the government is covering up and one giant equals 25 human beings. So that's so true. He's part of the the site, the giant slash Cyclops cover up that's going on right now. He killed the giant who killed Pat Tillman. Yeah. That's the movie. That's the movie they should make. He avenged Pat Tillman. I mean, I also mentioned this, of course, is there, there's the frostbitten cock incident, which again, I have to, I'm throwing a cap flag on this, a flag on the play. It says Prince Harry is being ridiculed online after revealing that he suffered a frostbitten lodger during a 2011 war cold trip, which made for a miserable time at the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.

His frosted phallus fiasco, this is a daily mail, by the way, so they got, oh my god, here, was one of many bombshells broken by page six after obtaining a copy of the Duke of Sussex much type memoir. Upon arriving home, I'd been horrified to discover that my nether regions were frostnip than now 38 year old ex-royal had described of the shrinkage inducing saga, which transpired following a 200 mile Arctic charity walk in May 2011. Okay, first of all, this is how fucking boring it you are as a royal is that you're doing 200 mile fucking the Arctic charity walks. What are you like? Shackleton did that in half the guys in his expedition died. And you're not doing this for like a food pantry or something. What the fuck?

But also, I don't believe, okay, I believe that his toddler got frostbitten, but like, that doesn't just happen. You know, I'm how did that? I was sick out while he was hiking. He was getting topped off by a penguin or something. He was trying to molest the penguin. They're doing some horrible skull and bones ritual out there. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. I mean, that's the only he must he was getting. He was getting a genuine slapped by a polar bear. Also, like just here, would your dick just recover from being frostbitten? Like, I mean, no, I don't think it would. If any part of your body is just going to fall off, you would think it'd be your car. Yeah. Yeah. Right. I think my honest, honestly,

what I think it was is it was probably like a dare, like a stupid dare that happened that worse than one of his friends was like, boy, Harry, I bet you won't have sex with the snow. Oh, yeah. Or you think I won't. Or I won't visit. Like an hour later, he's like, I don't feel so good. I don't think that was a good idea. Listen, listen, you can't. Listen, you can't. I gave that snow right, Roger, and then now I'm just holding off. See, I think it's on purpose just so we could fuck up his brother's wedding. You know, you're supposed to be your brother's best man. You're like, oh, my dick is frozen. It hurts. I can't put pants on my dick. Rachel getting married.

Instead of loading up the dishwasher, they're like loading it with, I don't know, like children. They're putting children in the machine. That's what they do in the royal wedding. It's the only way I can differentiate these two is the bald one and the one who's not because is truly my only reference point for the royal family is the little gay kid. The little gay kid is so iconic. I love the little gay one. The little gay one is so cute. He's so funny. Yeah, we've talked about this. He's just there's so many pictures of him just like lightly holding his palm over his heart or like doing a double wave. It's so cute. Like, stop it. Damn it. After the queen died, I looked up the family

like lying to power and I was like, OK, how many of these old weird fuckers have to die for us to get a little boy queen? I need it. We need an evil like eight year old queen is what we need. An eight year old gay queen. Yeah. I believe George is William's son. So I think Charles has to die and then William has to die. And does George have an older brother? I think there's a really there's an old one. There's like a weird, it's an old one. We're an ugly old man. We just have to get them all in a helicopter. They just a Kobe situation where they're flying somewhere else. No, no, no, no. Get Prince Harry in a helicopter and fly over them.

They're just chess pieces. Three queens. And when you get when you get when you get George, when you get the gay King George, that's checkmate. And then you knock over the piece. Absolute checkmate. That's mate in three moves. Charles William George. Get him in there. It also is so funny to describe shooting people from like probably like an Apache helicopter with like a 40 millimeter cannon to describe that as like a chess game, like their chess pieces to you. It's like so psycho, so American psycho to be like, they're just pawns. Yeah. I call. I call unloading like 10,015 caliber bullets in like 10 seconds at a wedding party. That's called the Sicilian defense. All right. Well, closing out closing out the show today, I have a reading

series that an eagle eyed listener of ours suggested for today. It's a very good one. It comes courtesy of the New York Post. And you know, it deals with an issue that I think is becoming more and more of a problem. That's right. I'm talking about the woke mind virus. And you know, there's a lot of there's a lot of the woke mind virus going around. And you know, I think, I think I'm probably going to be the first one ever to make this comparison. But like, have you, have any noticed that like, wokeness is the new religion? It's like a religion. Yeah. It's like a religion. I was just too scared to say it. You were too scared to say it. I thought I was the first one to notice that. But I think we all may have realized that independent of each

other. Yeah. Well, here's the thing though. Religions usually are pretty good. You know, but wokeness, that's not good. What's the bad side of religion? That's right, cults. Well, this is not the new religion. It's the new cult. That's so true. And then for people who have lost family members to this cult, they're beginning to turn to the figure of a D programmer. This is an article in the New York Post headline. Parents say their kids were brainwashed at school. Seek D programmers. This is about Florida, like a Florida mom who wants to D program her kids from being woke and gender. And there are people that are going to offer their services to D woke and D gender children. I would like to be honest. I want that job. I am really fumbling the bag by

not opening up my own the Bedmore Institute for D programming your live children. Well, I could make so much money. There's some really good shit here. I mean, I mean, you can give us, you can audition here for the Tarkovana of the woke virus, like rounding up a bunch of blue-haired kids and being like, you're going to go into this restaurant and you're going to leave a pocket Bible as a tip. All right. I love the idea. Like, that is such a good second act for them. Like to be like, to be like the Ray Donovan for they fab daughters. Like, you just come in and fix that situation. You are the one they call in for that. Be so much money. I'm sure. And like the person who's doing it now was this like fat lesbian.

The programming lady is like, she's someone who just specializes in being at the forefront of the most annoying cultural trends. Like this is someone who was doing like sensitivity trainings in cafes in like 2013. And now she's realized that those tights and shifts. And now, you know, finding the next grip. The richest like parents, the most annoying parents in the world to try and like deprogram their children. But also your kid is a hysteric fucking idiot. Who do you think they got that from? I would also like to say I buy a copy of the post every morning because to read page six. And it's really like, I really hate doing it because on the cover every single day of the post, it's like, it'll say something like the walking dead. And there'll be a picture of

like a migrant child crossing the border. So I always try to flip the page six before I put it on the counter. But they have so many. They're like articles about LGBT shit. I have gotten so desperate recently. Like, I saw one the other day that was like, former US Marine Navy SEAL comes out about, you know, being pressured to be trans and then, you know, reversing it. And it was like a guy who transitioned from male to female at age like 37. Then now he's like 50 and 50 and de-transitioned and is like, I'm just nervous that other people can get tricked like I did. You are joined the military asshole. Yeah. And the article is like pretty easy. Because it's the post, it's like, so-and-so who, you know, is 50 with like 200 confirmed kills, eight purple hearts,

and one medal of honor. It's like so fucking stupid. Well, this New York Post article does not disappoint. It begins like this. Beth Penske, a 54-year-old single mother from New Jersey who now lives in Florida, never tells anyone that she's estranged from her only son and daughter. Okay, throwing the cat flag on that, she tells that to everyone she has. She's telling it to the post right now. The New York Post. Usually I get this in kind of private, but for the New York Post, I'll put my family, the fact that my kids hate me. That's going on the front page of the major national newspaper. 98% of cashiers have heard this. Every public's cashier in the town that she lives in. She says, I lie all the time, said Penske, who told the Post her kids have

rejected her because they're woke and she is not. I can't tell anyone. I don't have a relationship with them. I have so, I had so much shame about it. It looks awful for me and makes me feel terrible. So I lie. It's like a coping strategy that I'm sure Ms. Penske is very familiar with. Literally like hanging out with your gay friends and being like, I look so awful right now. I look terrible right now. Oh my God. I'm so ugly. I look so bricked up. I gained like three pounds. Oh my God. No. But her attitude changed when she and a number of other mothers read a post story in November about Annabella Rockwell, a graduate of Mount Holyoke College who claimed she'd been totally

indoctrinated into hard left ideologies at the school and had to be deprogrammed. I saw Annabella's story and my life turned upside down, Penske said. I realized I wasn't alone and I saw what happened to her was similar to what I think happened to my kids. I've never even considered trying to find a deprogrammer. I didn't know they even existed, but I think it's too late for me and my kids. They won't even talk to me. So here's what you do. Beth, you got to fake an illness, like fake that you have cancer, that you're on your deathbed. Get your kids to come and then as soon as they're in the room, boom, deprogramming starts. Start showing them those PragerU videos.

Put them in the Clockwork Orange setup. You start. Lock the door. Cue up some Matt Walsh. My kids have been brainwashed, so let the brainwash and commence. Also, Annabella Rockwell, I just looked it up. The post story was in November, they said. She would have been, I think, 34 years old. All these people, they pretend that they're college students. It's like this weird thing I've noticed. They pretend these people are college students. They say like Mount Holyoke graduate and this woman graduated from Mount Holyoke in 2014. These are people who have conscious memories of the Carter administration

being like, I think someone pushed hormone blockers on me too young. 2014 when the whole line virus was at its most rampant famously. I was 45 when I was brainwashed. She says, a Manhattan mother of five daughters told the post that she saw their indoctrination into gender and race ideology started Dalton, one of New York City's poshest private academies. Jeffrey Epstein, former math teacher there, and worsened when her girls went to college. Most of them went to Ivy League schools. Here's the other thing. I think a lot of this like complaining that college brainwashed my kids shit is like the contemporary equivalent

of having a bumper sticker that says like my kids on the honor roll or like Harvard or Yale. It's just like, it's a way of saying my kids got into a good school. The emotional stress is unbelievable, said the mother who did not want to be publicly identified. I consider myself a Democrat and a liberal, but it doesn't matter. I've had fights with some of my girls. I've had fights with some of them. Ben, this is where you come in. I've had fights with some of my girls just because I wouldn't get myself a rainbow pride Starbucks cup. The cup itself became this huge battleground. Apparently it matters what cup you hold. Okay. So this woman is the most borderline personality disorder person I've ever heard

of in my entire life to be to tell that many lies in a row. She's definitely lying. She's definitely screamed at someone at Starbucks. No, she harassed a pride cup. Yeah. And then to start it off by being like, I'm a Democrat and a liberal actually, but this cup, can I speak to your manager, please? But also like the kids just being like, mom, please stop, please. Yeah. Please shut up. Please shut up. Please shut up. Even in the rare event that her children are like really uniquely annoying enough to be like, mom, you don't have the pride cup in your hand, your homophobe, even if that is the case, you taught them to be that way.

It's failing as a parent. My brother in Christ, you made these children. Ma'am, you can't return this coffee. You already poured Baileys into it. The mother said two of her daughters have tried to estrange themselves from her because they're critical of what they see as her lack of political correctness and disinterest in gender and race ideology. We actually would be estranged if it weren't for me not giving up, the mother told the post. I keep coming back. There's so much there. Wait, wait, Asa, listen to this. She says we would be estranged if it weren't for me not giving up. I keep coming back to the battlefield. I wanted a deprogrammer, but didn't know where to get one. So I try to do it myself.

A little bit of wildcat cult deprogramming, just a little freelance on the side. I just a little hobby I picked up. A lot of other deprogrammers don't like my Maverick style of deprogramming. Walker, Texas deprogrammer. Okay, here's where we get into the actual person who's offering their services as a deprogrammer. It says Kay Yang, 36, a former activist for trans and gay rights in upstate New York, at one point identified with they, them pronouns. But she said she deprogrammed herself before becoming a full-time deprogrammer in 2018 and is now busier than ever. So it's boom times for self-appointed deprogrammers. What's this woman's name again? Kay Yang. Just like the

letter K and then Yang is how they're attributed in the post article. Oh my god, amazing. Yeah, no, she truly just seems like someone who is, like I said, specialized in being annoying at the right time for a lot of money. Yeah, it says in addition to her website, stop female erasure, Yang has a website called the deprogrammer and runs a YouTube account under the handle, the deprogrammer and works with parents and their children individually. Okay, she's not working with anyone, but works with, she means people comment on her YouTube and then we'll give a quote if solicited by a New York Post journalist. And the picture is her in like the burnt over district, like next to a sign that's like, this is where women's rights started. Yes. It says,

Yang often leads anti-gender ideology protests at gender clinics and prisons. I just like, she's got a gender prison. That's actually so scary because like imagine being a trans woman in like prison, either men's or women's prison and this psycho shows up to give a presentation to the whole prison about how you are completely a psycho hypnotized Manchurian candidate for wokeness. That's like so crazy. Yeah. I hate getting moved to the to the woke general population part of the prison. You protect the city. I guess that's what that's what M city in Oz was, I guess. Which is that the JK Simmons guy? Yeah. Well, he was the opposite. Yeah, he's based. Yeah. Yeah. Emerald Emerald City, like JK Simmons was like the regular part of the prison.

Emerald City is cringe and lib because they have like an open office arrangement, whereas JK Simmons and the Nazis are in like the traditional prison prison part of prison. Like there's a lot, I guess, I don't know. I'm pretty sure this character showed up in one of the many seasons of Oz. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I'm sure. It says here, she leads anti-gender ideology. I sort of remove the word ideology and just I want to go to an anti-gender protest outside of prison or a clinic, a gender clinic, as well as at the National Monument in Washington, D.C. so she's leading an anti-gender protest right next to a giant stone cock. Yeah. This is what we're fighting for. This is what we got to deprogram people. Fallout 3 mod that puts her in the

game. A typical YouTube video. How many people show up for this? Like do they get numbers? I feel like it's probably just her screaming at a building. Yeah, that's what it seems like. That's exactly what it seems like. Yeah, because the pictures that accompany this article are so funny because it is just both of these psychotic women alone in the middle of a field. Yep. Yeah. And then I love the one where... What even wants to be next to them? She's holding up the gender ideology flyers and they look like they're designed to look like lottery tickets. Scratch on. They look like... I'm reading what it says, a stop female erasure in language and in law around the world. Then it says, trended gender ideology defies basic biology and then

the other says, lucky pot-o gold. It's so cool. It says here, a lot of these parents are completely bewildered, Yang said. A lot of them notice the marked difference in their children's behavior. Then all of a sudden, she identifies as he. A lot of this is like a cult except parents don't realize their child is being indoctrinated. Not from an old-fashioned cult. It takes you away somewhere, but through schools and their devices. This is happening to kids everywhere, even with those with a robust family life. Tennessee-born Ted Patrick, now 92, was well-known. He just transitioned, actually. Ted Patrick is the father of the program. Formerly referred to Patrick. It's worse now than it was then, Patrick said of the 1970s.

Parents are more scared and weak than they were but were then. You've got to get these kids alone. I've snatched people from Yale. I deal with the mind. He's a Yale snatcher. I love the idea of a guy who was one of the white students who tried to prevent integration of schools being like, it's way worse now for woke ideologies, way crazier now. I've snatched people from Yale. I deal with the mind. You have to go into the mind, into that container, and bring the real person out. This guy is 92 years old and talking like this. Imagine trying to explain woke gender ideology to a 92-year-old that's just elder abuse. Trying to be like, hey, do you got frog person? Do you want to know about that, grandpa?

Just be in jail for that. Okay, going back to, I says, there's another mom. It says, Dorothy said that they have been estranged often on since her daughter's sophomore year in college with the young woman once refusing to go to Thanksgiving dinner with the family because she said they were celebrating Columbus's genocide. She had what she called an awakening and became very angry at me and her father, Dorothy said. It was a big personality change. We are conservative, so it became a huge problem. We were not allowed to visit her on campus. She went on a mission to convert her brother against us. She told him that he should be against us because we're conservatives and that we should all be against men. What really scares me, Dorothy added, is that it reminds me

of the Cultural Revolution in China where there was a whole lost generation of kids who hated their parents. A phenomenon that's only happened in China in the 70s. It's so funny to have an entire article about the idea of adults being like, my kid grew up and decided they don't think the same thing as me and that I'm so annoying and insane that they don't want to be connected with me anymore. I hired a D programmer to fix their mind. I think the figure of a D programmer is very attractive to people like this because I think it's just a mere reflection of how they acquire the beliefs that they have. Basically, having someone berate them into breaking down their identity and reforming it within a group context. He's like, what's the opposite of that?

We need to do that to my kids. There's one really funny quote here from K. Yang. Also, this reminds me of the SVU episode with Isabella Johnny. Not Isabella Johnny, Isabella Hooper. Isabella Hooper hires a cult rescue specialist to save her son. No, her ex-husband hires the cult D programmer to get the kid away from Isabella Hooper because she's like a radical matriarchist. She's a missandrist. What happens? They each hire cult rescuers. Isabella Hooper's cult rescuer is a cool former marine guy who has a base of operations and everything. Her husband's cult rescuers is a psycho who kills himself and the kid. I somehow have not seen this SVU episode.

Whoa, really? It's my favorite episode. It's so good. All right. Well, I know which one I'm watching tonight. Absolutely. It's very rare for me to hear of an SVU episode. I've not watched it. I think I watched it with Will. Last time we hung out. Oh, yeah. We were deep into the SVU and then the Isabella Hooper. That's the catalogue of SVU guest appearances. Man, that one comes out of nowhere. Yeah, absolutely. Coming up this season, Charlotte Gainesburg on SVU.

Kei Yang on SVU. No, there's a Kei Yang says. She goes, it's your point, Ben, about how she's always been on the cutting edge of annoying people. She says, I thought I was on the cutting edge of promoting rights for gay people, Yang said. But then I started looking deeper into where this was coming from and who was paying for it. And I started to get very disillusioned. We were with children talking about sexuality and gender identity without the knowledge or consent of their parents. So this is what she began her career as a gender activist, but now she's a gender deprogrammer. Yeah, you need the consent of the parents famously.

Everything you do with consent of the parents to a child is completely moral and the right thing to do, especially when they're over 18, when they're legal adults and should be able to think for themselves. That's when you really need to hire a deprogrammer and try and fix them. I was talking to a 92 year old about sex and gender without the consent of his parents. I'm so sick of explaining to all of my cousins at Christmas dinner that the kids aren't here because I flipped out about Hunter Schaefer or something. So back to Beth Penske, the person who was willing to give her name to the New York Post. It says, that's when the break really happened, Penske said. They told me Florida

is full of white supremacists and that I was becoming one. My son said Florida is a scary place full of racist people. Wow, so such cap. That's completely untruth. I can't believe the son said that. I also love this Bitmoji ass picture of her preying on the stairs. The pictures of her are really, really good. She's completely alone in all of them. Joshua hasn't spoken to his mother in four years. One year ago, Penske said, Hailey told her mother not to contact her anymore. Penske's son said no comment when reached by the post. Penske's daughter did not return calls. But Beth Penske's ex-husband Andrew Penske backed up everything she said in a call to the post. Andrew said he has slightly more contact with his two kids,

but not much. It makes you sad and angry at the same time, he said. I worked hard to pay for their schooling because I grew up poor and couldn't afford to go to college. I wanted them to have what I didn't have. To be cut off without explanation is very tough. It's even worth for Beth, who is a great mother and who would always be there for them. I think this generation of kids is being poisoned by what they're being taught in school. Yang is sympathetic to both parents and children who became estranged over what is taught in school and seen on the internet. Children aren't stupid and they recognize there is injustice in the world, Yang said. And of course, kids don't want people to suffer and they want to help,

so the people behind this new ideology hook them with that, and that's how they get to them. They hook them by appealing to their innate sense of right and wrong and wanting to help people. Hey, the first dose of compassion is free, and then you're hooked. And you'll be buying empathy on street corners. You're selling your body. I love the feel of justice. It's so funny to be like, yeah, my kids are being so unreasonable by not talking to me. And when I contacted the kids for the New York Post to talk to them about this article that I'm interviewing their mom for about how they suck, they said no comment. Well, I mean, it shows that the kids still

have some residual love and affection for their parents just by saying no comment, another being that instead of giving a full dossier to the post about how fucking unbearable their parents are. Yeah, absolutely. So just to finish out the article, it says they hook them with this and that's how they get to them. Once they get you in, they can get you to do anything. They subvert the will of the self and replace it with the will of the group. Most kids don't realize they've been made part of a group and they've been activated. Oh my god, gender man, activated. Activate, turning into a power ranger. I'm just imagining like joining Little League

and then just being like a deep programmer or being like, no, don't stop. You're being made part of a group. They put you in the same outfit. They make you follow rules. They promise the offer of winning, but then they can get you to do anything. Oh, you're joining a gym to improve yourself. Interesting. I know a few other people who go to that gym and do the same exercises. So yeah, that's how parents are dealing with the woke mind virus today. Ben, would you like to just take a chance to audition? How would you deal with these snot-nosed kids not coming to Thanksgiving yelling at you about what the incorrect Starbucks cup and about how Columbus Day celebrates genocide? How would you straighten these brats out? Ben, let's say my parents hire

you to detransition me. How would you talk? I'm not taking that. I'm not going to get the five percent off that. Truly, I think the one thing, you do reverse psychology. You just have the parents start being the woke ones. Yes, yes. You have the mom start talking about how Columbus was also transphobic or something, and then it's done for it. The kids will lay off. That's how I would do it. No, yeah, that would work. I would show up and tell this woman, you've got to dye your hair blue. You've got to do all of that. You've got to get the biggest... Because think back to when you were a kid. What would be the worst thing imaginable? If your parents got really into the same music you like. My dad would be like, hey, son, that nine-inch nails, pretty wild

stuff there. He wants to know what like an animal. Come on, we love it. We could tell this woman that she needs to transition. If you want your kids to not be gay. You have to go on tea. I'm going to need you to do a little bit, some little operations here just to save your children that you love so much. They find out you've been on the Bernie payroll after they've been on tea for six months and they just like... It's like the Kaiser-Sose moment. Usual suspects. Oh, there we go. I think I mean, on a show that I'm a co-host of, I think you've set the record for most movie references in about an hour and a half Joppo episodes. I can't believe it. I'm embarrassed. They're all fire. Well, thank you. You're welcome. I think we should wrap it up

there for today, but Ben and Hessa always enjoy. If people would like Ben and Hessa and seeking derangements in their life, what should they do? You can find seeking derangements everywhere podcasts are, and that doesn't include Patreon. And you can find our other call-in show on the app, Colin, which is Colin only. We are the fourth most popular show behind three transphobic duty. You've got to fight the deep programmers. If you would like to get programmed, please call in. Thanks for having us guys. Yeah, thank you. Our pleasure. Thanks, everybody. Chris, do we have any more plugs for on our end? I have a ton of plugs. I have so many that I'm just going to record them in post.

And here I am in post. All right. Hell on Earth premieres this Wednesday. Yes, the first step of Matt and My's new history miniseries on the 30 years war and the violent birth of capitalism will be in your free feed this Wednesday morning. All subsequent episodes will be for subscribers only over on our Patreon feed. That's patreon.com. We also have a special site with an interactive Atlas over on hellonearth.chapotraphouse.com. So go check that out. And tickets are still available for our Hell on Earth launch party on Friday, January 20th at Littlefield here in New York City. That will be a live recording of a special Hell on Earth bonus app plus an audience Q&A with me, Matt Will and friend of the show, Matt Karp.

Ticket links to that are in the show description. I will also take producers privilege and plug another personal event. Me and my wife, Molly, who some of you probably know from our music podcast and introducing are hosting a party at Elsewhere here in Brooklyn on Wednesday, January 18th. We'll be DJing some tunes along with some of our good friends from 8pm to midnight. Should be a fun time, drinks, dancing, etc. That's free with RSVP on Elsewhere's site. I'll put that link in the description as well. So if you're in Bushwick and looking for something to do on a Wednesday night, come through and maybe they'll let us do it again on a weekend sometime in the future. Finally, the Talking Simpsons crew has added a second show to their San Francisco

sketch fest shows that Matt's going to be a part of. So that's Matt and the Talking Simpsons guys. They're going to be talking about Simpsons predicted it at San Francisco sketch fest. The second show is 10pm Wednesday, January 25th. Link to that also in bio. Those are the plugs. Thanks guys. Listen to Hell on Earth this Wednesday. Okay. Beautiful. All right. Well that does it for us. Amazing. Bye everybody. Thank you guys. Talk to you later. Bye. Bye. Bye. you