Chapo Trap House - 712 - Everything Mystical feat. Brandon Wardell & Jamel Johnson (3/6/23)

Episode Date: March 7, 2023

Beloved returning guest Brandon Wardell and soon-to-be-fan-favorite Jamel Johnson stop by to take a look at Mexican Elves, discuss if our penises are shriveling OR growing too much & celebrate Women��s History Month by praising the men who support them. And after that lineup, we address the real question of the week: Should women date podcasters? Brandon and Jamel have a new show, the Brandon Jamel Show. It’s out now wherever you get podcasts, links below: Pod: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-brandon-jamel-show/id1675920175 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thebrandonjamelshow Insta: https://instagram.com/thebrandonjamelshow?igshid=NTdlMDg3MTY= Links to Brandon’s live shows here: https://linktr.ee/Brandonwardell

It's Monday, March 6th. We've got Chappo coming at you. It's me, Matt and Felix, as usual, but joining us are two gentlemen, the first of which is returning champion, Brandon Wardell. Hi, what's up? Joining us for the first time is Jamel Johnson. Hi. Together, Brandon and Jamel are the Brandon and Jamel show. Gentlemen, welcome to Chappo Trap House. This is Monday. Thank you. Thank you for having us. Much appreciated. I love you. I do want to say thank you to the 2022 Girl God episode for dethroning my 2016 episode as the most hated episode of Chappo. Don't worry, Brandon. There's still time. I mean, you could dethrone them again.

Well, a lot of time, buddy. You don't have to, Brandon. You don't have to if you don't want to. I'll tell you that. We have 59 minutes to go of just mind-numbingly awful content we could put out right now. This will be good. Well, people do like bad shit, so maybe, hey, fuck it up. Somebody's hearing this. They go, oh, I didn't like that guy when he was 23. I'm 30 now. Brandon, challenge accepted. Gentlemen, I think I'd like to begin today with a few news stories that I neglected to get to last week, but are still of, I think, vital importance. Beginning with sending our heartfelt congratulations to our good friend, Steven Segal, for being awarded the official order of friendship by the nation of Russia and Vladimir Putin. He spent his whole

career spreading friendship, and I'm glad Russia has finally recognized his work in the field of humanitarianism. The award, yes, Segal was presented this award by a half-dozen Okito sparring partners who all collapsed simultaneously as they attempted to hand the martial arts expert his friendship trophy while he sat in a swivel office chair. Hell yeah. He's aligned himself and he likes to be photographed with President Putin. He went with a Russian delegation to Venezuela about a month ago and presented President Nicolas Maduro with a samurai sword. What do we think here? Steven Segal, he's been such a friend to Russia, but maybe not a good enough friend to America. I mean, I know we're in a sort of a new cold world with Russia. Do you

think that we need to give our own medal of friendship to actor Steven Segal? I like how Steven Segal, like, worked his way up into being a Russia guy by starting with Serbia. Like, do you remember how he started by, like, training Serbian special forces in, like, you know, slapping people on the wrist and, you know, like, tripping people by their shoelaces? And then finally, after, like, five years of that, he finally got up to the big dog. He finally got up to Russia. It's like the, like, the double A, like a double A, like minor league baseball team. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's like the people who play the NFL Europe League. But I mean, I guess we should just let him keep rocking because, like, they ensuit Russia will

just be slapping people on the wrist. You know what I mean? I like that. I like the idea of Russia having terrible fighting tactics. I mean, yeah, it seems it does seem like he's commanding their war in Ukraine. It's like, it's not like they're doing great now. They're at a complete stalemate with a country that, like, every time that we sell them guns, they sell those same guns to the Romanian mafia. I do have a Steven Segal tidbit, an exclusive tidbit that I heard from. You met him at Jash. It was my onscreen aunt, Tia Carrera, used to work with him back in the day. She worked with him on a movie where she revealed that he didn't know any of the lines. So he'd have everybody film their parts ahead of time. And then he would show up, like six hours later,

and have a bikini girl hold all of his lines on cue cards. What? So it's like Vano White would just, like, bring out his line, which is just, like, I don't know, like, yeah, like, he hasn't studied any of his lines, and then he just needs a cue card to say, if you squeeze that trigger, I'll send you straight to hell, motherfucker. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, he has some 22-year-old lady in a bikini holding all of his lines. Okay, hold on a second. I feel like you've glossed over the most important tidbit in your little dash here, Brandon, is that the Tia Carrera was your aunt onscreen. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I wish she was my aunt in real life. Just real quick here. It says the 70-year-old martial artist was given the order of friendship for his major contribution to the

development of international culture and humanitarian cooperation. The order which recognizes people Russia considered to have improved international relations also mentions Segal's work since 2018 as a special representative of Russia's foreign ministry for humanitarian ties with the United States and Japan. The under siege star backed Russia's illegal annexation of Ukraine's Crimea region in 2014, calling it very reasonable, and has supported its invasion of Ukraine. In 2021, Segal joined a pro-Kremlin party in last August. He visited the eastern Ukraine region of Dantesk, including the destroyed detention center where dozens of Ukrainian prisoners of war were reportedly killed during an attack. He also made a documentary

about this. So I mean, will Oscar recognize his work in this field? Probably not. The term humanitarian cooperation, it's so loose. It's like when they say like handmade sandwich. It's like you just you're just fine with people being alive. And I guess that's humanitarian cooperation. I mean, I guess it's too late for him to get one of our one of our medals, I guess. Well, that's why we got to give him one. We just got to get him like an like an A24 play, like an A24 move, get him get him in an A24 movie, and then we're back. We need to play hardball. I think we need to play hardball. I think we need to send him like some nice beads or whatever, but they're coated in ricin and then just assassinate his ass and let the other washed up action stars know

that we mean business and we're not going to have these motherfuckers turn and fucking code on us just as they can get a lower tax rate and like a percentage on a Moldovan silver mine. Fuck you. They just put them in the Expendables. None of this show would have happened. That's real. That is true. That's actually real as well. Kill him and that's a warning to the other Expendables not to get too close. And you know, Mickey Rourke was maybe sitting on the fence about beginning getting friendly with the Z Russian nationalist movement. We made an example and he's back. He's back under the big second of America. Second news story of note from last week that I neglected to mention is there are there are elves in Mexico. There are Mexican elves. And this is

not just me saying it. It's the president of Mexico. This is from the AP. Mexican president posts photo of what he claims is an elf. Mexico's president posted a photo on his social media accounts on Saturday showing what he said appeared to be a mythological woodland spirit similar to an elf. President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador did not seem to be joking when he posted a photo of an alux, a mischievous woodland spirit in Mayan folklore. Lopez Obrador wrote the photo was taken three days ago by an engineer. It appears to be an alux. He said, everything is mystical. I mean, I saw that picture and I don't know what the hell else it is. Sure. Can we see that photo? Yeah. Is it wearing some of those sick boots with the big toes? The curly toes?

All right. Well, we're going to produce surprises. We're going to bring up the front of the Mexican elf. Unfortunately, he's not wearing one of the the incredibly cool cowboy boots. They're really sort of like big like long toes. This is not like I would really not say this is like a Western style of elf. I mean, you're about to see. Yeah, like, look. Oh, here we go. Oh, yeah. Oh, is it a is it a damn tree? Yeah, it's got it's got like a hood on. I mean, that's elf behavior. Yeah. That's where they make cookie. They make cookie in there. Not all elves make cookies, Brandon. How many times I gotta tell you elves contain multitudes. Getting us in trouble by stereotyping elves again. This goes to show just how we need to support

Amlo and all things because our our leaders are making orcs and he's over there documenting elves. Yeah. He's clearly the good guy. Well, yeah, I mean, oh, no, here he goes. This will look like a resident evil villain. That's scary. That's too scary. Once again, elves, it ain't all sweet. Shit sweet with these elves. No, this is too scary, guys. Fuck. What am Amlo is like being being like a Mexican ammo fan. It has to be like living the wildest dreams of like a Bernie or Corbin supporter. Like he's every week, he just issues a new referendum that has like 14% turnout where he's like, should I be president for life that gets like 96% he's like the greatest. I know there are a lot of criticisms of him, but I I think he's perfect.

And also ahead of the curve, we've talked about this a lot about how zoomers now all believe in like they have the basic average beliefs of like the protagonists of the movie The Witch. Um, Amlo believes the same thing as the average tiktok zoomer. I do like his ending Kota on this too. Everything is mystical. Everything is mystical. It's true. Remember that tiktoker who was murdered for finding a giant? Oh, just a slight correction on that on his Kota to the Mexican elf thing. He was referring to the currently incarcerated rapper mystical, not the elves. Well, that's what I was wondering. Just a little bit more a little bit more on the Mexican elf here. It says the nighttime photo shows a tree with a branch forming what looks

like a halo of hair and what might be stars forming the figure's eyes. I mean, well, this is like this is the like the AP injecting their skepticism into the Mexican elf thing, which I think is unwarranted. Excuse me. That's editorializing. Get out of here. Are you guys reporters or you commentators? Yeah. Are you elves or not? Lopez Obrador has expressed reverence for indigenous cultures and beliefs. Engineers and our workers are in the Yucatan Peninsula, constructing a tourist train that is the president's president's pet project. According to traditional Mayan belief, aluxes are small mischievous creatures that inhabit forests and fields and are prone to playing tricks on people like hiding things. Some people leave small

offerings to appease them. Oh, is that project he's going to make? He's going to make them his pets? Well, no, I mean, he's I think he's building a tourist train to the elf region of Mexico. I mean, I know tourism is a big industry in Mexico, but I mean, I don't know, maybe this is going to become a problem if they start stealing things. But I mean, the article does says they can be appeased by just giving them like slow down, slow down with that rhetoric will. You're the one he said they were making fucking cookies. No, I know, I know, I started it. I started it. I'm sorry. No, that's off the rails. Well, I mean, that that's kind of like the two stereotypes or crimes that you're warned about with Mexican tourism. You're actually kidnapped by the

Mexican elves and forced to make cookies. You're forced to work in the Mexican Kebler factory. My mom used to say that all the time, man. You're forced to make spicy candy. Well, yeah, you're you're forced to make like, yeah, the that mango candy that has a bunch of like chili powder on it. I guess that's what their Kebler elves make. I mean, that's pretty live. I'm playing in a trip right now. I'm going to Tulum and then I'm going to Elfland. I'm going to just rock with them. I gotta say, I the the A looks is I mean, like the sort of the glowing eyes, in a tree playing tricks on people. This appeals to me more than the like, shall we say the stereotypical European elves of the J. R. R. Tolkien variety. Because, you know, like, what

do they do? They just seems like they like listen to Enya all day long. Well, your European elves, their entire thing is like that they live forever and that they're good with money. Yeah, they're like they're like they're like they're like like Jewish people are handsome. There's a lot of there's a lot of European elf revisionism, you know, they they were they were they were they weren't all they weren't all European. Come on, everybody forget me. Everybody wants to yeah, European elves started the slave trade. Yeah. That's a fact. Dutch elves. I'm kind of a I'm a black Israelite, but for elves.

Dr. Dr. Jakub created me and exactly. Look, I just I just needed Jamel to laugh at that. I don't care about you got me. It didn't work. You got me. You got one right? Moving on from some encouraging news about elves. I've got unfortunately, gentlemen, a very bad news about all of our penises. So before I get to this story, we all just check real quick. How's it going down there? Okay, still attached. That's good. But don't get used to it because the CEO of Daily Clout and the director of Daily Clout War Room shares this horrifying research. The latest info relating to male fertility and sexual function shows that men who receive the mRNA shots are essentially infertile and their penises are

rotting off. Oh, man. Oh, we just play with it. Here's a little clip of the Daily Cloud CEO talking about how all our dicks are going to fall off. As a follow up to the report I did on the COVID vaccine harms to sperm and testes. I also wanted to talk with you about harms to the penis and its functions. I did some research on this and it's very disturbing. One thing that comes up in the results of adverse events related to the penis is just general penis injury. It doesn't say more than that. But the other things that goes into are quite concerning. One thing it mentions is penile vein thrombosis. Anthrombosis is a blood clot. So, of course, that is always a bad thing to have going on anywhere in your body. It seems particularly concerning in that area. It's quite

rare. I just want to be clear here. This was shared on Twitter and they have appended it with a big notice saying this claim is false, which is how you know it's 100% true. Why would they have to tell you this is false? I hope this is true. I've been trying to get my dick cut off for years, man. There's a lot of paperwork involved. If I could just skip to the front of the line, I'd love that. Would they say a thromboli? I'm going to get a penis thromboli? We could get so much more done. Where to go? I like this one because it's like four billion people got the COVID vaccine. So, just like half of it, two billion people just done. This dick is completely disintegrated. Just done. No more. Children and men.

And also that lady talking looked like she came from a rotten penis. Disturbing to say the least, but okay. But we're not done with cock news because I've got another story. This is courtesy of the New York Post. Average penis length has grown in 30 years, but doctors call it concerning. What? It's concerning. Why? Do they have to suck all of them or something? Do they have to fit it in their mouth or what? What's going on here? Well, thank you. Microplastics. Well, yeah. It says here the average penis length has increased over the past 30 years and new study has revealed, but experts warn it might not be the ideal reality every man's

dreamed of. As it turns out, size does matter. Researchers fear the phallic inflation is due to unhealthy habits like binging junk food or being mostly sedentary or even pollution. So, I mean like, so you're telling me I could get a bigger dick by just breathing air pollution, lying on my ass and not doing shit generally? It sounds like a pretty deal. And going to Burger King? Great. I was already going. Is it just like they're getting longer? Does it specify whether or not they're sacrificing girth? Because like a really long, narrow dick isn't ideal. Like a reverse trod. Yeah. I would rather have the girth than the length, honestly. Like a stretch arm strong. Published in the World Journal of Men's Health at Stanford

University study analyzed data from 75 studies with over 55,000 men from 1992 to 2021 focusing on the length of an erect penis. Reachers discovered that the average penis size has grown in a staggering 24% over nearly three decades. Erect penile length is getting longer from an average of 4.8 inches to six inches over the past 29 years, Eisenberg said. It was 4.8 inches in the 90s. Holy shit. How did anyone get anything done? Also, how are they- That's where Grunge came from. How are they measuring? Is it self-reported data? A great question. It's a bunch of guys measuring from their asshole.

It says here, while more studies are needed to confirm the findings and if confirmed, determine the cause of the changes, the researchers' conclusions are hard for experts to swallow. Gee, I'll say. New York put us having a little fun there. I like that they say more research is needed. So, fellas, keep submitting data on this issue. The scientists need further study on this issue. That's a great- You can send in your data to the Brain and Jamel show on Beat-Em-Off Wednesdays. Oh, yeah. Every Wednesday is Beat-Em-Off Wednesdays. Beat-Em-Off Wednesday. So, we'll just add that. We'll just do it. We'll put out a little tent

where you can hand in your papers. So, you guys are doing sort of a chatterbait thing on the pod? Chatterbait morning to chatterbait. But it's also because health is important. So, when we get the dick data, we're going to hand it to New York Post and then we're going to get it all figured out. Yeah, it might fall off. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, these are two stories. Leave me with... I don't know how to feel. Oh, hell no. Hey, pause, man. Hey, come on, man. I didn't think it was that kind of show. All right. I got one more video clip to share with you guys. Over the weekend, there was a CPAC happened. Somehow, we didn't get the invite, the Conservative Political Action

Conference. It was not much worth discussing from what happened at CPAC over the weekend. It's the usual carnival of horrors and grotesqueries. But everyone's talking about Trump and Marjorie Hill agreed. But for me, there was one breakout star of this weekend at CPAC. And it is the gentleman who is Lauren Boebert's personal stylist and fashion designer, responsible for her let's go brand-and-dress. Chris, can we hear from Lauren Boebert's fashionista? I love planet Earth and you can only do that in America. I love you all. Keep doing what you want. There's no other place in planet Earth that you can do who you are as a person and do it. I love you all. And I love you. Yeah. All right. I'm not saying I'm good. No, no, you can't kiss the

cameraman. All right. See you later. Thank you so much. All right. So I will allow it at CPAC, but they banned Nick Fuentes. So I heard there's a Trump rat upstairs. Let's go check that out. I will. I will kill myself if that man is not Brazilian. This is the most Brazilian man I have ever seen. Also, Lauren Boebert did wear her let's go brand-and-dress before. I've seen it before. She wore it in 2021. Remember? Well, I mean, I guess this guy has been on her squad for a while now. Yeah. I mean, on a very personal level was hoping that they'd be done with it by now, but yeah, they're still going strong. Let's go Brandon is still going very strong. Every time I see Matt Christman in real life, he yells it. He yells it very close.

Let's go Brandon. Every time I see the man, I can't escape it. I mean, I feel like you have one of the hats. I feel like it's dying out like a little bit. Don't you? I don't know. That's what I thought. It's been I've heard it less. And I definitely think that the moment has passed for me to profit from it personally for me to do a merch flip. Yeah. This is one of those problems that feels exclusively white to me. Like it's never come up in my life once. I have a friend named Brandon and I ain't even know what the fuck was going on. He had to tell me last week. I was like, oh, shit, I can't tell you to come on anymore. That's news to me because I cannot leave the barber shop without hearing. Let's go Brandon. Yeah. That's the kind of heat you need. Yeah.

You know, they're talking, you know, they're saying, let's go Brandon the barber shop. You know, it's real. I know. But back to the Lauren Boebert gentlemen. I have to give him credit because I mean, he is right. Earth is the only place you can do any of this. It's number one to me. We don't know that. It's the greatest question, sir. A citation needed on that. That's true. I mean, Avatar 2 did just come out. It might be some shit crack and cross the pond, cross the space pond. I like at the end of that video, though, like he tries to like kiss the cameraman and then there's this like there's this extremely blonde lady interviewing him who like loses her shit. And then she's like, oh, they let this at CPAC but not Nick Fuentes.

Yeah, he is. He is kind of being a caricature of what everybody at CPAC thinks a gay person is. Like he's trying to kiss the cameraman, you know, it's a yeah, he's being a little gremlin. And he seemed hammered. I'm shocked I didn't have him holding a little fruity beverage. I mean, he was he was on something. I mean, he seemed quite sedated, quite loose. Yeah. And Brandon, the word is alux, not gremlin, please. Once again. Oh, yeah, I'm so sorry. Yeah, that's real. No, you're gonna have the gremlins coming after you, the elves. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay, it's national. It's women's month, right? March is women's history month. I know you guys will be observing, but this is this is courtesy of the Washington Post.

They decided to celebrate this women's history month by talking about our Vice President Kamala Harris, but no, not her, her husband. This is courtesy of Jonathan Capehart in the Washington Post. Doug Emhoff is the antidote to toxic masculinity. So for women's history month, yes, Doug Emhoff will be the spokesman now. Jonathan Capehart writes, this women's history month, this women's history month, I want to celebrate a man, Doug Emhoff. In American politics, we are not accustomed to seeing men sacrifice their careers for powerful female spouses. At the White House level, we've never seen it before at all. As the husband of Vice President Harris, Emhoff has the title of second gentleman. With that comes a host of duties once performed by

female spouses. But as the first man in this role, he is not only shattering perceptions of gender roles, he is also taking a sledgehammer to toxic masculinity. What would you guys do if you were at the first gentleman or actually second gentleman of the United States because it's, you know, Kamala Harris? I mean, like, is he shattering gender stereotypes by just sort of living off existing? Yeah, I guess so. I mean, he's the first one. There's never been a first or second gentleman before lies. I well, it's a little it's bullshit that they don't count when I was married to Janet Reno. I didn't take none of them fucking headlines. I let Janet cook for a long ass time. So kind of a fuck off with that for once. If I was the second gentleman, I don't know. Yeah,

I probably I coach girls a you basketball and yeah, I guess just what I do now watch wings reruns it. I'd be massaging Kamala's feet every night after a long day and just like treating her right. I just I don't know. I I haven't seen Doug like do any of the things that he's been praised for. I guess what is he being praised for exactly? Like being married to a gentleman. I mean, I mean, really, he's being praised for like being called up by the California Democratic Party and being like being told like, hey, you're marrying Kamala Harris now that you're both 54. But like none of the things that people say about him where it's like, oh, he's taking on toxic masculinity or he's like he's like a model for how well all husband should be.

I'm not really seeing it. I just I'm not seeing enough like performance from Doug. I just like that somebody at the Washington Post was like, we can't do another story about Harriet Tubman, man. We need something hot. Yeah, how about this guy? How about this guy who's like a Hollywood lawyer? Doug Amhoff, you are taking over George Washington and Carver was role during Black History's Month. Oh, Felix, you said you haven't seen him demonstrate any of his supposedly like a good man, Bonafides, but he's quoted in this article sharing some thoughts on toxic masculinity. Amhoff has said, we've kind of confused what it means to be a man, what it means to be masculine. You've got this trope out there that you've got to be tough and angry and lash out to

be strong. It's just the opposite, he said. Strength is how you show your love for people. Strength is how you are, strength is how you are for people and how you have their back and how you stick up for other people and push back against bullies. Here, here says Ray Jonathan Capehart. How are we doing? How's he pushing back against bullies? He's pushing back against bullies. Is he backtracking the IP? Well, what's he doing? Well, it says right after this, it says Amhoff famously jumped into action in 2019 when someone stormed the stage during an event Harris was doing. The moment is among many that show why Amhoff has become a popular part of the Biden-Harris administration. First of all,

I don't remember that at all. I don't remember that at all. I have a secret service for that. They don't need this fucking 60-year-old guy to be a bullet absorber for the vice president. I mean, I remember getting kicked off stage, but that whole thing was... I don't even think like Amhoff heads remember that 2019 moment. Isn't that just being classically tough, like shoving a guy off stage? That's true. You should have let a female secret service agent do that and then applauded while she did. Yeah, report it to a woman and let them beat this fool's ass. Yeah. Yeah. Going on here, it says you've got someone who is a public servant, not a politician. This is Amhoff speaking of Kamala. She has spent every minute

of every day of her professional life serving the people. That's it. She accomplishes so much to the extent people think I'm good at this role. It's because I get to watch her. She is awesome. Doug likes to watch. He's up there in the Senate Gallery when she's casting a tie-breaking vote, just nutting all over the place. He's in the official congressional cup chair watching as Kamala grounds that gavel. I like this article because I like how much... I mean, as sort of a lazy, good-for-nothing man myself, I sort of like just how much credit Doug Amhoff is getting for just existing. I love my wife. She's great. I love watching her do her job. No, that's crazy. I'm jealous. Yeah, everybody shat on Chance the Rapper when he said he loved

his wife. Now, you know, saying Doug's getting all the... I feel like we owe Chance the Rapper an apology. That's what this article is about. All right. Moving on to the reading series for today, the New York Times opinion section has come through for us. Once again, with an article published today that I think will be of extreme interest to everyone on this episode. Headline, would you date a podcast, bro? Oh, Lord. Their reputations have caught up with them. Oh, Lord. Fellas, our number... The jig is up. Our number, our card has been pulled by the New York Times that we've been... Oh, man. The gravy train of girls wanting to date us is coming to a rapid halt. Oh, my God. The reputation was once so golden.

This is why I'm cutting my dick off to begin with. This is why I say I'm... I tried and they wouldn't let me because so many girls wanted to date me. This is by Gina Sherillis, writing the New York Times. So let's dive into this. Tizane Roberson, a student at California State University Northridge, was working one year of an on-again, off-again dating with a co-worker. When she came to her realization, she would eventually announce to her followers on Twitter, my biggest mistake in life so far was dating a man with a podcast. Well, honey, if that's the biggest mistake you've ever made, then you've led a very charmed life. Yeah. Unless he killed your family or something.

Yeah. Or got you doxxed or some shit. Yeah. I think he made a mistake dating some... A civilian? Some broad, spilling all her dirty laundry on Twitter. Ms. Roberson, 24, began seeing him in December, 2021. He was 35 at the time and had dreams of being a social media influencer. She recalled, they both worked at an Amazon warehouse near her home in Lancaster, California. The situation ship, as she aptly called it, was very embarrassing, but she continued to date him until January of this year. That had money. That had money was too good. I knew he had a podcast, but I'd never listened to it, she said. I was like,

okay, I like this man. I'm already ignoring his social media presence. I'm just going to forget he has a podcast. Things were fine when they were together so long as Mrs. Roberson didn't think about his extracurriculars until one day he sent her a link to his show, inviting her to listen and share her thoughts. What she heard turned her off. Okay, that was, that was arrow number one. Yeah, podcast. That's, that's a rookie. You got to tap in. You should listen. I mean, I will say that is arrow number one, like asking anyone to click on any link that you

ever send them in a romantic relationship or not. It's violence. Yeah. You should only, you should only send a girl like a photo of two animals and say, oh, this is us. That is, that is evergreen advice, Brandon. That's actually realist folk. Okay, continuing. Things were fine when they were together so long as Mrs. Roberson, Mrs. Roberson didn't think of, oh, sorry, for Mrs. Roberson, it wasn't just the content of the man's podcast, but that he, that he had one at all. Like many other women, she associates the form with a certain kind of man. One who was endlessly fascinated by his own opinions, one who was endlessly fascinated by his own opinions, loves the sound of his own voice,

and isn't the least bit shy about offering unsolicited opinions on masculinity, sexuality, and women. Many women have taken to social media to mock just that kind of programming and the men who make it. Yeah. Well, what are their Patreon numbers look like? Yeah, I think, I think all the podcast bros need to take several seats. I would just like a little bit more, I mean, like, I want to know what this guy's podcast actually is though. There's no details here about the content. Yeah, we're missing key information here. Because like, maybe this guy is just like, oh, he like recaps episodes of The Last of Us or something like that. Like, I don't know. They're making him sound like he is one who is, you know, offers unsolicited opinions

on masculinity, sexuality, and women. Yeah, because we, and if that, and if that's the case, he's honing in on Maya. We don't, we don't know. Yeah, like, we don't know if his podcast is him, like, all right, we're recapping every episode of Arliss, or if it's like, or if it is him, like talking about like the wall or whatever. Yeah, yeah. It's got to be somewhere in the middle. It's got to be somewhere. I think it's like him building Lego sets, and then like personifying the little Lego people. Oh, yeah. That sounds pretty good, actually. I mean, yeah, yeah, that's kind of high, that's kind of high concept. I was just assuming, I was assuming some bullshit, like, like Brandon was saying, like, oh, you know, we're doing, this is the first leftist podcast

about friends. But um, Lego's idea sounds pretty fun. I think a Brian Quimby is already a pioneer of that idea. But like, I know I like the idea of like, yeah, he's a, it's a podcaster, him and his friends recap Arliss. And then in the last five minutes, they're like, here's the bitch breaking report. I wish you had to break a bitch down. So it says here on Tik Tok, hashtags, more pimps should have podcasts, more pimps should have podcasts. I just want to get that before I just want to hear the will medicare break a bitch down podcast. Well, you know, that guy that's like, I mean, I keep seeing clips of him on Tik Tok. And he's like, this is how you pull a goth bitch. This is you have sex with a pair of sisters, like he's only just like,

like, oh yeah, I know that guy's awesome. So it says, I mean, I'm proving the stereotype right now that this, this fucking article is lame basting. So sorry for that. On Tik Tok, hashtags like hashtag men with podcasts gather videos of mostly women using a beard filter to satirize the sorts of things that male podcasts hosts say, such as why, why as a man are you born in the month of February? Or that's the problem with women who read. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. First of all, why are you as a man born in February? That's like shit that women say. Yeah. That's like a woman thing. The thing about women reading, I don't know. I mean, like, this is, this is a real throwback type of article. This is a real 2014 type of article where they're recapping unfunny

shit that they saw on Twitter. But I don't know. No, no, no, no, no hatred or animosity towards the author. Got to get those articles out somehow. Others have called on them to quote, put down the mics and get a job. Well, I mean, for most of them, yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah, no, absolutely. There are way too many fucking podcasts out there. I completely agree. Like, I probably more than the author of the podcast of this article or any of the people that agree with it think that there should be 99% less podcasts. How many like progressive pro wrestling podcasts are there? Probably 30,000. Something that is very fun to talk with you, Felix, about is just the amount of podcasts that you hate, that you keep yourself abreast of so many podcasts that you

absolutely despise. I do like listening to bad podcasts. It is like kind of one of my hobbies. So I guess I am kind of keeping a few going. We got they got to give him a new name. If your show doesn't have 10,000 listeners, that's internet radio. Yeah. Yeah. Internet ham radio. Well, here, well, the next the next the next paragraph jumps right into it. It says here, with the once booming podcast industry currently on the back foot and host once booming. Have you seen our numbers lately? How about more booming than ever? Suck my dick. Everybody. I'm sorry. I was being nice to this lady. Nah, talking shit, dude. Talking shit. Yeah, the branded Jamel show just dropped.

Well, and the host reputation, reputations for self important mansplaining, having long since caught up with them is the new podcast, bro, officially a persona non grata in today's dating landscape. First of all, never on the back foot. My reputation for being self important will never catch up with me and I'll stand on that right now. But it says here, in interviews with a handful of men who work or have worked in podcasting, some say they have had come across romantic prospects who view their profession as a potential red flag. And even among those who haven't, some preemptively adjust their presentation of themselves to make a clear distinction. Tyree Rush, a 29 year old podcast producer in Atlanta,

said he makes it a point not to list his profession on his dating app profiles. Instead, he usually says he works in digital media. I mean, I also never say that I work in podcast, but that's just because it's like, I don't want to like say the name of the show. I don't want to explain it. I don't think it's like an interesting thing to talk about with this stranger. My new thing that I tell like Uber drivers and like, you know, whoever is cutting my hair is that I'm a rare metals trader. Nice. Also very believable. What I love so much about that strategy, Felix, is that like it brooks a no possible follow up

question. Because like, you know, I've had a similar thought about how to avoid an awkward conversation where I have to say like my job is hosting a show called Choppo Trap House. And I've been sort of like experimenting on my mind saying things like I'm a tax accountant, but then someone might ask me about taxes and then like I'll have to just like duck and roll out of a moving car. Yeah, I like comedian bad answer, podcaster bad answer. So I just say thank you. I was going to say the same. Yeah, I like to say that I'm a federal bikini inspector. And people are like, wow, that sounds awesome. Yeah, I invented the miss press. Oh, how'd you get the phone on top, man? Just finish my dog. Get out of here.

Yeah, I was on a date in Chicago and I said that and I said that I said that I do digital strategy at first, he recalled in an interview. So she kept pressing and I was like, actually, I produce podcasts. Now maybe it's because I lied and said I did digital strategy first that she was not into it. But I also just think that when she heard the podcast, it was a cause of concern for her. Mr. Rush added that she followed with, don't tell me you're like doing a Joe Budden podcast or anything like that. I think I'm going to start telling people on Joe Budden's podcast producer. Not bad. Oh man, Joe Budden, when Joe Budden like went to Patreon, they like gave him a role on the executive committee. Joe Budden got way better treatment from Patreon than we ever did. I don't

know what kind of business he does for them. I mean, presumably a lot. That is a pretty successful podcast, but I don't know. I'm just saying that I would like to see some parody with Joe Budden's treatment and ours from Patreon. The president has a podcast? President Joe Budden. That's the show. Yeah, the president has a podcast and he has these two. He used to have these two friends named Rory and Maul and he fell out with them. And now he just, he records the show with no socks on and shit. Yeah. And you know, 2024, he's going to pump it up. A scrutiny of the podcast bro archetype has also appeared in other areas of pop culture. In the Netflix comedy You People, Ezra, a white broker played by Jonah Hill reveals to his date

that his dream job is to do his hip hop culture podcast full time, which is first met with laughter followed quickly by judgment and concern. Mr. Rush, who has worked for Marvel, iHeart Media, and the podcast network, Wondery, said he understood the wariness given that the many things women have to be afraid of when it comes to dating men. A podcast is just another thing to worry about. I mean, is it, is it really, I mean, I, I, I resent the idea that like this is, look, you can express a preference that it's corny or it's like you, you adhere to a certain stereotypical type of guy. But I, I mean, I don't think, I don't think having a podcast or something to worry about in the context of the things women have to worry about when it comes to men in their lives.

What if he's got a true crime podcast that's about the women he murders? Extremely concerned. That would be bad. I would not want to date him. How does he keep getting away with this? It's on its third season. In the number, but have you seen the numbers talk the numbers? By the way, I do want to say that movie you people, I don't know if you guys watched it, but no, I haven't seen it. Oh no, our friend, our friend Sam Jay plays his like podcast co-host. And it's just a, it's a black guy and a white guy. It's a black lady and a white guy. And when we posted about the brand and Jamel show, there were multiple people that were just like,

ha, ha, wow, it's like the podcast from you people. It's like, what? There is an episode, there is an episode where Brandon breaks down the De La Soul catalogue extensively. He goes track by track. We do a top 2000 De La Soul tracks up, but that's different. Well, I don't know about the movie you people, but I mean, I think the podcast Girlfriends I've murdered has gotten a bad rap over the years. In the article, it's like a new chivalry or etiquette that we're trying to figure out, he said. Logan Mendoza 23 is, is one of four hosts of sweet talks, a video podcast on YouTube. Stop, stop, no, don't, no, don't tell me about this. Oh, that's so fucking depressing. Oh my God. Four person video podcast on YouTube. Oh,

God, don't tell me about that. Oh, I really don't like that. He said they often get direct messages from men who enjoy their content, which he described as mostly guy talk and debate. He said he didn't consider sweet talks to be like some of the more offensive shows. At the end of the day, you want to entertain the listeners and viewers. So to do that, you're going to have to say some crazy stuff, said Mr. Mendoza, who lives in Orange County, California. Sometimes we'll say stuff, but we don't really fall in line with it. Sometimes we'll disagree on a topic, just to have an argument with each other on the podcast and have different points of view. That sounds like a horrible idea.

That sounds like a horrible idea. Okay, actually, you know what? I'm looking at it. Oh wait a minute, no, that's a different podcast. Never mind. I'm looking at it on YouTube here. One of them, it said, what kind of people would you wipe from the planet if you could? And I was like, okay, that's kind of interesting, but that's not sweet talks. Sweet talks is things like Lil Nick and best friends say how they blew over $40,000 in one night and why avocado Thottie left XBF after making a million dollars. Should girls pay for the first date? Featuring Santy, how suburb talks, success changed Nick Grejeda's dating life. Wow, these are some controversial topics. Should you snitch if they have a girlfriend?

He says, yeah, sometimes we'll just argue with each other and have different points of view. No, like should you snitch? Personally, I think you should snitch if he has a girlfriend, but sometimes I'll adopt the opposite position just to juice a little dialogue on the program. Get some listeners, you have to say some pretty far out things. Raymond Pang, a 31-year-old podcast producer and sound designer who works on mostly science shows, said he had never personally experienced romantic rejection because of his profession. In fact, he said it was often a point of entry into conversation. About a month ago, he started seeing someone new, but while he was single, he presented himself as an audio

producer. As someone who has also worked in public radio, he felt the audio label encompass both jobs. I feel like I have to be able to position myself away from the terrible man corner of podcasting, he said in an interview. I mean, there are a lot of shitty man podcasts out there, but there are a lot of shitty girl podcasts out there too. Can we hear from some guys who don't want to date women with podcasts or would that be going too far? Or are our standards just sort of aligned differently? Or how about other jobs that maybe women don't want to date? How about pedophiles? So are horse jockeys? I never met a horse jockey with a girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah, the horses they're riding get laid more than those guys.

Mr. Pang said he didn't know of many people. Mr. Pang said he didn't know of many people who work in audio who would call themselves podcasters, though given the unappealing idea that anybody can be a podcaster. It could mean that you work at This American Life or it could mean that you record a podcast with a bunch of your friends to talk about the latest week of football games or something like that. Or worse, like misogynistic stuff, he said. For her part, Ms. Roberson, the Cal State student said that after her experience, she would never again date a man in podcasts. Absolutely not. I mean, a bit harsh, but I think we can take a little bit of criticism in this regard. I mean, no, I get hurt there. Yeah, definitely. If I was her,

I would definitely not want to date another guy with a podcast. But just in general, I would say this article was, it didn't hit on the main things that make most people with podcasts like boring to date, which is fundamentally at the end of the day, that most podcasts are bad. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. So like only date a man with a good podcast. There you go. Well, Brandon and Jamel, the Brandon Jamel show. I didn't want to suck us off until it was time, but now it's time to get the suck. Yeah, it's a good show. It's called the Brandon Jamel show because that's our names and it's funny and we're friends. And it's fine. You know, we record, record three hour episodes and then we cut it down because Brandon keeps saying hate speech. But what you hear

is all high quality, fun audio. Absolutely. No, yeah, tap in. Just posted the first episode today. We got a Will Sasso this week, Zach Fox next week. Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun podcast, you know, tap in. It's fun for most of the family, not the women. No, this is this is for uncles only. Yeah, this one's for the uncles. Yeah, leave your auntie at home for this one, dog. This shit is too raw. I will never again have an uncle with a podcast. I'll just absolutely not. I will Sasso though. That's great. Oh, man. Yeah, no, Sasso. We didn't even talk. We didn't even talk. We barely talked man TV. Yeah, we didn't even talk Steven Seagal. We got to have him back. We missed a lot. We didn't talk Southland Tales. Oh, yeah. Oh, I know you guys. There's a there's

a movie that needs to hey, if you're looking for a guest to talk Southland Tales. Hell yeah, me and fellas. Yeah, I went through a manic episode where I was I was watching Southland Tales like every day. And I got I got way too obsessed with Southland Tales. But it is is that's what happens. Is that's what that's called when you keep one? I did the same thing with rush hour two. I didn't know it was a main episode. I just thought I liked the DVD. I mean, I like I mean, I like the idea of having a manic episode and rewatching Southland Tales because it's a movie that sort of is conducive to that kind of it's a movie that's like kind of breakdown in your it's kind of too ambitious for its own good sometimes. But having a manic episode to rush hour two, man, that's that's an achievement.

Bro, I matter of fact, we're not even rush hour. It got to the point where I was just listening to the DVD menu music. I will speak to Jackie Chan. We'll briefly drop. I watched police story three, aka Supercop this weekend. Okay, I realized that like I had seen the American cut of that movie released by Dimension Films in the 90s just called Supercop. And I watched the Chinese version on Criterion this weekend. And there's a scene and there's a scene in the original Chinese version where Jackie and Michelle Yeo visited a Chinese dog market and are entreated to a sample of some of the delicacies. And in the entire scene, you can hear dogs squealing in the background. So if you're looking at a psychotic break to a scene in a Jackie Chan movie, that's

a pretty good one. Nice. We'll mark that down. All right. Brandon Wardell, Jamel Johnson, the Brandon and Jamel show. Links links for the first episode out today will be in the show description. But gentlemen, thank you for joining our podcast. Thank you so much. Thank you for forever rendering yourself undaidable, unfuckable projects or joining our gang of podcast pros. Can I plug a couple of shows while I'm here? Let's do it. Well, Seattle and Portland, I'm going to be there in going to be in Seattle later this month. It laughs this week for the 24th and the 25th four shows in Seattle, May 2nd and 3rd. I'm going to be in Portland at Helium. And I really wanted to plug June, June 2nd, I believe Friday, June 2nd. I'm going to be in Washington, DC at the 930 club.

And that's going to be a big, big show. This is a big homecoming. There's a big homecoming show. This is a venue that me and Jamel have seen a bunch of shows that I saw. She and him by myself there once in 2010. I've only gone to 930 club with friends. I've only been with friends. I've never gone alone for the record. Yeah, I did see she and him by myself in 2010 at this venue. So yeah, please, please come to that if you live in Washington, DC. Hey, can I plug a couple of things? I'd just like to plug the Washington Wizards. I think people should be watching them play basketball. They're a really good team. They don't get national coverage. I'd also like to plug Potomac Senior High School football. Shout out to my bros, Jared and Joanne.

I love y'all. Good day. Give the Mystics a plug. You like your big WFB, Aga? And the Washington Mystics start in May. Go Mystics. Go Styx. Natasha Cloud, come on the pod. Thank you. Oh, Bell House in Brooklyn in July. Also, I think I'm going to be taping that one. What? Everything is Washington Mystical. Gentlemen, till next time. Bye-bye. Thank you.