Chapo Trap House - 714 - McNally Jackin’ (3/13/23)

Episode Date: March 14, 2023

We’ve got the Silicon Valley Bank collapse, saber rattling over a war against Mexican cartels, plus we meet a delightful new character out of the great state of Tennessee, wish a bittersweet farewell to an old friend, and FINALLY take those damn smoke detectors down a peg or two. All that and a side of meat salad in today’s ep.

I See New rule new rule smoke detectors are bullshit Required they should not be required any apartments. I hate smoke detectors. They're too sensitive They go off all the time if my apartment's filling with smoke. I'll fucking know about it CO2 detector CO2 detector Okay, fair enough. Yeah, I want to die in my sleep But if my apartment's on fire if okay if I if I suddenly burn something in my oven I don't want my apartment filling with yeah filling with I got a cacophony of

Noise I got smoke detectors in every room. I put the oven on to cook anything and then we'll go off You what is this for? Usually the first thing I do in an apartment is take out smoke detectors. Yeah, I know and I I have a I've I've endured an Incredible injury by failing to do that on time I recently I recently like just obliterated my foot by falling off a chair Removing a smoke detector and it made me unable to like really like walk or like do anything for almost two weeks

And it's like I wouldn't have had that problem with either. I had the option of not having a non smoke detector apartment Yeah, you should be able to get a lot. Yeah. Yeah, like I Right you if this place burns down It's not your problem if my apartment build burns down and then I get a non smoke detector room Yeah, it's like similar to idea for no security airlines If you just sign a waiver and you can smoke on the airplane and bring guns and drugs on it as well If your life has ever been saved by smoke detector, you're dumb as shit And Felix is saying this is someone whose house burned down

Yeah, Felix has suffered fire-related trauma and now smoke detector related injury. So yeah Yeah, like no smoke detectors did not save my family's lives We were pretty easily able to tell that the house was on fire Remember when I set up that the smoke detector in that historic theater in Iowa by vaping. Yep That was that was that was and then we got back in oh, yeah They're having to go outside the entire crowd and us have to stand in the alley behind the place for like 10 minutes And then we go back in we're in the basement and then I look over and he's fucking bringing the goddamn thing to his lips Hey nicotine. It's it's it's it's got this powerful hooks deep inside me, but anyway, I agree though

Uh fire safety is bullshit. It's any any state make work for dorks who like uh sirens Well, well, okay. That's that's that's That's the thing right if I was a firefighter And I went through my whole career and I put out like one fire I would be sad I would be sad if I spent 30 years on the job and I never you know, I never like Yeah, used well, you know used ladder 49 or whatever Knowledge is I don't really know I never got to like I never got to you know, like, you know hit a door with an axe There should be fires going on all the time is like a make work program for our war fire warriors

You know, this is a this is a fact Felix. You're joking maybe but There's a reason that like most arson is committed by firefighters They're fucking bored. Okay. Yeah, we don't talk about a make-work job I mean like they're they're making work. No, they're making chili They're hanging out in their fucking clubhouse all day on the public team collecting generous pensions They're they're they're not even fighting fires. They're just detecting smoke They are they are the most cosseted public servants. We've got they get to live together at a cool fort They get women just throw themselves at them. They got a government mandated dog buddy that they hang out with

And yeah, they make chili for each other every night It's like the public social dream and they get to live it. It's bullshit And you know our family connection here and yet somehow The the fdny paramedics or have a different union than the fdny even though they they work every day They work every day like I was shoveling up bodies from the train tracks or like stopping people from killing themselves with a fentanyl So, you know what I realized though what I was just saying that's classic resentment politics. That's why we're all dragging each other down Oh, I can't be a cool firefighter. Nobody gets to be the answer is everybody becomes a firefighter Yeah, I'll get to live in the tree forts together. We all get to go down the slide

And we all get a Dalmatian and we all get a Dalmatian It's like a Magiglacias's new book coming out one billion Dalmatians for one billion Americans Can you imagine how cool it would be to fire off one of those like giant hoses connected to the fire? plug like you imagine the The the power behind one of those things you were using the jaws of life like you could knock a Kia over with that fucking stream What whose idea was it for like them to get a poll like why don't doctors have the True the emergency room should have a poll Yeah, like it well

I mean if you're a really good surgeon and it like a gunshot Wound victim comes in and they really need you wouldn't it be cool to like slide down? I guess most I guess surgeons are like 63 and they'd like tear their ACLs But I just I don't think it's fair that firemen are the only people that get polls Yeah, we should all get polls because we need a universal basic poll Universal volunteer fire department. Everyone gets a little stipend everyone gets some get some hoses and dogs And in exchange and chili keep them all busy. No smoke detectors. Yep, exactly Okay, once again another massive problem solved. Oh, hello there. Hello there listeners

Thank you. Thank you for just a peering peering behind the veil at a intimate chapeau conversation But it's Monday, March 13th. Let's kick off the week, right? So big news from the weekend Major major L taker major loss of the weekend anyone who keeps their money in a bank Rookie move Absolute fools folks if you keep your wealth in anything other than a series of ingeniously devised dead drops and treasure hunts Then you fucked up. Actually, you didn't fuck up because all these assholes just got their money. Yeah, they're all getting

They're all getting all that money back from the Silicon Valley Bank, but yeah Valley bank tip of the cap to the Silicon Valley guys because this thing happens Silicon Valley Bank Has a run Basically cuz these idiots are all online together. They spooked one another in group chats. Yep They're all taking the money out and Peter teal first among them salute to the king Uh, somebody pointed out to me and my mind was blown that his name literally is the reptile Grim for the reptile. That was that was a resist lib Shit man, you are blowing my mind here. Yeah, it's all it's all on the open

They use a secret um signals and letters to communicate with each other. So Peter teal the reptile I mean, it's like Charles Dickens wrote him or something Could it could a man look more like a fucking reptile? It's it's uncanny. He drinks blood of the youth come on Allegedly getting two on the nose a simulation is play down would say the dickheads who invest in Silicon Valley Bank And so there you think when this happens. Oh, they're fucked because this is the least sympathetic group of people you could imagine because the conservatives hate them because they consider Silicon Valley the woke death star and The libs hate them because the bunch of rich guys, you know, just classic class resentment That's gonna cut against any of these things. They're in trouble. So what do they do?

They spend the weekend tweeting them cells into a ladder and and freaking everybody out or trying to trying to spook horses to literally like They were trying to make a bank run on the rest of the banking system by saying that like if you if you let if They're all they're all doing like the Jimmy Stewart from it's a wonderful life And they're like you're you're thinking about this all wrong. The money's not in the safe The money's in your app shitter the the app that collects data from your shit It comes from plug the app that replaced teachers with with AI If you if you take if you take money out of the dick measuring app, then they'll all go away Yeah, I saw I saw some guys who are like, um, I'm talking to a lot of founders who are deciding to take their money out of banks

entirely and it made me think like And put it like we're like under a mattress Not only did they get what they wanted they got they're getting all the money back But they actually did get one bank to yes signature bank in New York a Apparently a lawyer's bank that did a lot of crypto stuff It was a crypto bank of which Barney Frank got like a million dollars to sit on the board of the New York crypto bank and Lobby to exempt that bank from the Dodd Frank banking regulations balance sheets protruding look disgusting We love having we love having a government. Don't we folks?

But uh, no in 2018 like these the Trump passed it like gutted it like changed the regulatory framework for specifically like banks like this Silicon Valley Bank which they tried to and then all the tweets about it like that I've been seeing they're trying to pass it off like they're like, we're just a local community bank. We're a merchant bank We're a local we're a credit union basically that um, apparently 65% of all tech startups had their money in this bank and the weird thing with this bank is it's sort of like a Like a money market or something like like to deposit your money and take a loan from this bank You had to deposit your money in the bank as well. So that's why all these people were losing their minds

But they that's like that's like not what a loan is That's like You have to deposit your money One thing, but like I don't yeah, so um Is a credit union like the Franklin credit union. Yeah. Yeah, the the right-wing a hydra has been like kind of fighting itself over this one because A lot of the teal line people who like, you know, they hate the Fed. They hate they hate Durham Powell They hate a regulation. They you know, obviously have been nakedly begging for a bailout and they got it

but um, I saw Kevin McCarthy and Like sometimes he just got a laugh He said one of the funniest things I've ever seen. He said Silicon Valley Bank was actually known as one of the wokest banks Yeah, that's and if you're a right-winger who hasn't been begging for a bailout for the thing if you have no financial Relationship with this bank. That's your line that this bank was like one of the wokest And then like and then the right-winger is like that guy David Sacks or like Joe Calacanis or whatever who you have all their money and investments tied up in This bank or a significant portion of them their line is they're like, okay Imagine this bank wasn't a Silicon Valley Bank, but a small business farmers bank

But you'd feel differently about it then yeah, I know but I okay two things at the Wall Street Journal line one Yeah, you're right like the the the the bank run was caused by this bank being gay and cringe But I've got news for them all banks are gay all banks. That's true This is the way this is the line from the Wall Street Journal editorial today Was their regulatory failure perhaps Silicon Valley Bank was regulated like a bank but looked more like a money market fund Then there's this in its proxy statement SVB notes that nine besides 91% of their board being independent and 45% women They also have one black one LGBTQ plus and two veterans I'm not saying 12 white men could have avoided this mess, but the company may have been distracted by diversity demands

Okay, I would just like the like most people just noted that like oh, they have one black and one gay two veterans for this fucking DEI shit Two veterans that's your problem right there Someone said of a firecracker and then they were like the bank the banks said solve it everyone pick your buddy out Yeah, I I do I the the fact that like the I you know, whatever Wall Street Journal guy I don't I haven't really kept up with the Newt breed my favorite Wall Street Journal writer was always John fund because I love John fund now. It's such a good name for like a you know club for growth style conservative, but Um, I liked him including veterans among that like yeah The stupid groups of losers who are polluting our financials with their incompetence. They I mean if anyone was bringing their dog to the board

We're supposed to pretend that the woke people the anti woke people in the media and in government are against one another that they're not Mutually reassuring one another because they do this stuff. So look on Valley Bank Bank has their DI DEA DEI bullshit and their fucking EI board Specifically to camouflage their demonic activity and now you have their enemies among the conservatives Taking their bullshit seriously and validating it so that everybody can talk about the fucking wokeness of the bank and not its fundamental practices I guess I might be the other thing I've been really enjoying about this Averted bank collapse, but it was funny when people thought like you know, like that they weren't gonna get failed the depositors We're gonna get made whole again

And by the way these depositors are being made whole well past the FDIC limit on this so they're making an exception for these assholes But the other thing is like all the people who are like this is an extinction a level event for innovation period and like with Without these kinds of like VC firms and like banks like to SVB if this allows to go under we won't have Amazing new like apps to like talk to each other over of zoom like that's it And my favorite one is like it like in the effort to make this seem like this is all about like these are about paychecks These are about people who are like, you know need to make ends meet or whatever was this lady who's like a Former McKinsey consultant who said she described she said describe yourself as like my family drives a Honda Odyssey and my husband Works in manufacturing

What she really meant is that her husband is a manager at this company that produces steel And she's a former McKinsey consultant But the best part is the company that she worked on is a subscription service where like the the highest level is $6,000 a year and this is that this is like a tech startup app that will help you make lists and plan birthday parties Oh my god, wait a minute with the $6,000. I'm assuming that one, you know, like they also complete the list for you It's a it's a birthday party startup and the name of the company. I'm just looking at this company right now It's like it's called strong suit The pitch is you found the perfect plan now. What?

Then the strong membership strong bespoke bespoke is $5,899 a year, but strong suit bespoke is just $600 a month Okay And they like Ashley our co-founder and COO is queen is the queen of themed kid birthday parties And like this is what they'll help you with and it's just basically like I don't know like it just creates to-do lists for you I guess you brought this shit into the shark tank. Mr. Wonderful would shoot you out of a cannon Well, that's why Silicon Valley Bank needs to exist right and like this is insane to me like thinking like Why if I like as a business as an individual entrepreneur or as a business?

Why the fuck would I put my deposit my money or take a loan from this like fly-by-night fucking like a small community Silicon Valley Bank instead of I don't know Bank of America or Chase Manhattan and the answer is that like the real banks that like bad as they are or you know like Did you do the function of commercial banking at least as we like try to conceive of it? But the thing is they would never loan money to these fucking companies that will never turn a profit ever So they need so they need this fake bank to exist and give them all this fake money and Felix I was reading about like what caused this collapse and it really just comes back down to what you've been saying for months now Is that everyone can be a genius billionaire when fed the Fed lowers interest rates

But as soon as they fucking raise it one percent or something like that all of this shit falls apart immediately and there's no way It's a way to like I have this like a limitless growth and get like a be valued at hundreds of billions of dollars for your birthday party Startup app that will never turn a single cent in profit. Yeah, I I mean I think like we're going to see something like this probably at least once a month For that's just gonna be whack-a-mole. Yeah into like until the next like zero interest rate period I think like zero interest rates are just like it's just gonna have to be a permanent thing Yeah, if we're gonna get it if we're going to have to have an economy. I Just don't see any other way because like like 70% of the the companies that exist

All of them borrow 50 billion dollars a year. All of them lose money All of them have 70,000 employees like what are we doing here? No, we've hit we've hit the end here We the profitability cannot be recovered anywhere in this economy It's it's over. All you can do is is keep the next quarter going by having an Infinite inflow of cash that can allow for like frictionless transfer and then to create through through Rapidity the illusion of an economy because everything else. It's just it's done. There's there's no more Marrow in the bones. There's no more juice to squeeze here. Yeah, we hit the productivity growth We've hit the end of profitability in these sectors you yeah

You you make a profit if you're like ExxonMobil or JP Morgan or like I mean honestly some of the car companies even American car companies, but like Everything else just seems to like lose money with of course the idea being that You have to keep loading us money at zero interest rates and let us lose money until we can achieve 100% market share and then set prices on everything, but I just like What is the economy even gonna be if if we don't have a zero percent interest rates? Because that's the only other thing the only other thing besides like finance and petroleum are Like app companies that give middle-class people the experience of having servants that

Make these things way cheaper than they ever actually could be or should be and Can only exist by virtue of zero of you know zero percent interest rates And you know like what else? What else can there be the the only alternative as an economy as like a political economy is Massive public spending on Infrastructure like right the thing right economy and like that is the thing that could generate economic activity and keep the wheels spinning well all these And but the Silicon Valley VCs like have not they not only are they not doing that?

They're doing the exact opposite by basically Profiting off our decaying infrastructure and not only doing nothing to replace it But like actively degrading all of it all of it and try to like you know like where's the profit to be had? Like turning jobs like taxi drivers into like precarious gig employers like to try to zero out labor costs Yeah, highly like to just make labor labor costs like a zero-line item expense on a like of like any businesses charged by replacing them with I don't know slaves or robots or robot slaves. I mean like and here's the thing I Don't think there's like it's worth spending too much time belaboring the hypocrisy here because a pop She's kind of the point about like about moral hazard and like you know the rich get this carrot the poor people get the stick like

No, that's the whole point. That's the whole point of like having the wealth and power is that like yeah You can get your you can get your checking account made whole again Listening to them Poe face and be like oh just to go to the humble. I'm a humble Honda Odyssey driver Appreciate it much more if they were just like look you need us. We have you by the balls This economy exists to serve us if we pull this out That the political structure cannot absorb that so they have to do what we want them to and and the thing is like look And look, you know, you can like no need to belabor the the point too much about like these same people and their feelings about

Let's say student loan forgiveness spending money on public infrastructure social spending of any kind and nor nor nor all of their accounts of like You know, we're really at a bad point when people are cheering seeing people's bank accounts get wiped out search like name Like search any of these people and the phrase homeless and see you see how far their compassion fucking extends But here's the thing I can leave all of that aside and say like look it's kind of like Mickey Mouse to bring this up To begin with but what I truly can't abide is the way these people talk about the shit The utterly buff fake jobs they do and the bullshit they create is somehow like net Like not necessarily the economy but like necessary to human flourishing and innovation. It's just like oh, yeah

We need yeah, like these people cannot even describe what their abs to do to it like a normal person And then like it felt like the last 20 years of this shit has not made the world a better place at all It's like they've ruined everything they touch and then like their goddamn birthday party startup app I have to hear from these people like they're Leonardo da Vinci or something. Look, it's generated a lot of wealth That's what yes. Yeah, it is generated for whom at the expense of what that's not for us to say But you can't deny that there are giant big Disgusting Scrooge McDuck piles of money sitting around in the Bay Area that didn't used to be there And isn't that what we're all here for to just make the piles bigger to stack things up

So that somebody gets to swim in them not any of us, of course, we don't get to swim in there. I Would love to have a Scrooge McDuck money pool. Oh my god, I'd break your neck immediately As soon as you try to jump in there because it's not water. What are you fucking doing? It's a cartoon. Don't do that And they're like, you know, those gemstones are kind of sharp. Oh my god. Oh Go me first into one of those things. No, thank you. I jumped in my money pool and now I have a ruby stuck in my ass. Oh Yeah, they made a lot of money for a small number of people and and they in turn spent a lot of that money on hideous homes Awful food at pretentious restaurants Cars that the steering wheel falls off

Cars with the steering wheel that flies off when you drive. Yes, that that's that's what we all get Oh, and also the other thing that got made a incredible breathtaking suite of Surveillance and coercion technology that will be used against us For the rest of our lives. Well once again, I just have to say like you'd probably think differently about this bank collapse If the people were affecting were good and not yeah Yeah, like my feelings about this would indeed be different but yeah, like just

Make free free money money for nothing money, baby money. No, it's all it's it's only exceptions There's no there's no rule. That's all bullshit And if push comes to shove they will always bail them out. There's no real line. It's all in there for show That's the way you do it. That's the sirens go off. That's the way you do it that little F slur He plays the bongos on the CNBC There was also this post where the man said he was quote not a whore but a hoe One is a slut. The other is a prostitute adding I'm the one that gets free weed for giving then a reference to a sexual act and it was liked by

Governor McNally, I don't know that you know a lot of times on people's posts You see the name and you see what they've written and you just press the button that says like so So you didn't read that post? I don't recall reading the part about the the weed I know that What about the prostitute? I might have I might have read that moving on from the other bank collapse So I do want to touch briefly on on my favorite my favorite news story of the week and my new favorite political personality I'm speaking of Tennessee Lieutenant Governor Randy McNally

Already sounds like a gay porn star who hosts a travel show Okay, how okay like okay like what when I saw case like the story here is that lieutenant governor of Tennessee The state that just made drag Illegal and there's like very soon to make being gay illegal after that has basically has a voluminous comments on This like Twink's Instagram page where he's just like you you light up that you light up the world with your smile I already mochi already, but she so and then when I like I saw those comments And I was like that's hysterical like I love when old people don't know how the computer works But then I saw like what this guy looks like and holy shit. Oh my god

He's like he's like if Baron Harkonnen were southern like that Yeah, he if there was if there was like a Sort of like a kid's medical dictionary He would be the entry for what a guy looks like when he's always had a UTI He's like guys who's like like Unreasonably red all the time alarmingly red. He's so red. It's it's like Like his face is so just bulbous and creased. It's like the super photorealistic Realistic close-ups on Ren and Stimpy. Yeah. Yeah, like when they go in when they go in Ren's ear

He's like, yeah. Oh god. Yeah. Yeah, that is what the text You're exactly right. And he has a similar DM style to the creator of Ren and Stimpy Oh fuck I forgot about that. There is nobody in animation for adults. That's um, untainted This is this is this is like a this is a cut away But like we were laughing about how in TV like in regular TV if you're if you're a producer on like, you know Chicago fire or like law and order Your sex. Yeah, if you work under Dick Wolf, if you work on normal TV Your sex scandal is that you like, you know, you had sex with a 23 year old subordinate and like pressured her into it

Like a normal like gross TV sex scandal if you work in adult animation Your sex scandal is that you you snapchatted an entire middle school and And we're like made a making rage comics where you're like, who's ready for the boner monster. I Just I love I love adult Channels compared to regular TV. I mean, I love Randy McNally because like it like his comments on his Instagram comments Like a god was the quote here. This is my favorite thing. He says I try to encourage people with my posts You mission accomplished same, you know, obviously me too. Yeah, we're all here to I like that. Um, as far as I can tell I've um, you know, obviously researched the story a lot

He was only commenting on this like one guy. Yeah, there's one guy one guy. Yeah And like nobody like guys. I'm sorry. The guys posts are like quite quite provocative Even for Instagram like he's got he's got he's showing that he's on ass As up front it. Yeah, very like Timmy thick style post but he's like he's Timmy slim like this But like I don't know it's just like the Randy McNally It's just like this old school like gay Republican remember Mark Foley I know we talked about the show before but like the text messages where he's like, are you horny and the kid? Like the interns like yeah, and he goes cool. It's the same sort of like the the encouraging sort of like the

Encouraging wholesome chicken hawk, you know Young rough trade, but you know once again here It does no one any service to once again bring up the hypocrisy of this because like no like it's not that he's a hypocrite That he wants to make be gay people illegal No, he wants to make gay people like legally disposable sex slaves for his enjoyment and like that's all that that's totally consistent with Um, I guess his legal and political aspirations Randy McNally Randy McNally folks What a guy just wants to give you a you just wants to give you a thumbs up about your about your posts

Just like well somebody's looking at somebody's enjoying as long as they're talking about posts and people who maybe Got a little too horny or a little too excited our boys a boy Jordan Peterson is back at it again I got to say and like it seems like he's back on pills because his posts are fucking awesome again Like he's been killing it really good Really really good, and he just he just has that behind bars energy. Let's put it that way Cuz okay like we also have a Chinese dick sucking factory thing he tweeted out today where he was like this is life under the techno hell of good communist China and it was like Original account ripped it from some like dominatrix porn where these guys are strapped in like leather gurneys and have their dicks like

Pumped by some sort of like dairy sucking machine But yeah, no he thought that was real. He thought the Chinese dick sucking factory was real Yeah, it was a type of fetish porn that I've never I didn't know this existed But it was like so it's like three guys in a bed and it's it sort of I kind of liked how it was shot Maybe David Cronenberg's son shot this. This is one of his movies It looked like the Matrix. Yeah, we see we had a cool look to it. I mean, I don't think you had a green matrix She yeah, yeah, I wouldn't check off to this, but I was definitely watch you have no choice Felix We're gonna strap you up buddy, right?

That's the poor that that is the plot of the porn though is that it like an evil evil dominatrix nurse is just you know Extracting cum from these guys and try not to come you don't have a choice buddy You know one of those accounts one of those accounts where it's like a 60 61 year old just stumbling into random things They find online called like, you know fight wokeness or like fuck BLM found it and posted it and I guess Jordan Just instantly assumed that's just you know, that's from an Al Jazeera documentary about China They smuggled this footage out. Yeah Almost like what you're afraid of what you're horrified by what you spend a lot of time Obsessing over happening is actually what you want to happen because nobody's making you think about this shit

Many such cases You're getting something out of this dude because there's no chai comms going door to door strapping people into these things That you know China You could chill on this if you wanted to but for some reason Jordan you don't want to and why is that I'm just like I know I know we talked about before but like I'm just like contrasting the the hellish dystopian dick milking facility to like the videos that people's daily China posts just like my favorite In quotations news account because it's like Yeah, girl draws the like girl paints the most like detailed a portrait of a like the most detailed landscape

Imaginal with like a daisy pedal. Yeah, you said like like elephant reflects on water They have a lot to catch up on the Chinese when it comes to soft power stuff But that that's a great tool in their arsenal makes China look awesome. Yeah there. We love their st. Run media It's all stuff like that like villagers amazed by Gibbon He's like though the one-handed monkey. That's like friends with that Like monk and the nun or something. Oh, yeah, amazing amazing. Yeah Okay, they edit they actually give them the jukebox they strap them into the fucking dick It's such it is such better fives than Russian state run media, which is like if the Babylon B

3 million nuclear missiles. Oh My god, Russian state run media is so fucking They just break just brick after brick after brick. Oh my god, you know US high schools are requiring students to take a trans class to graduate like, okay, okay Have you have any stories about villagers or elephants or anything like that? No And Felix this is because as as you I know and certainly myself. I'm aware of there's so much great animal content to be had in Russia I mean, I know the other people with bears and shit Okay, I will say that before the special operation to

Have the world's worst war ever the owner of A Russian sable one of my favorite sable accounts and do more are her sable They were on Russian TV But Russian TV now is just all like old old like also very red-looking men Yeah, the good declaring that NATO is sending transmissiles It's like we're supposed to care about Russia either because for the Republicans They're supposed to be our allies against China or for the Democrats because they're our existential enemy. They are losers

Yeah, China. We got a look. We got to surrender to them. That's the thing We have to stop the Republicans and the Democrats from eventually going to war with China and instead go behind their backs and Sign a deal that that that's what that's our project. That's what it should be What was there was another really good Jordan Peterson? Yeah, no, there's another worry I was like, it's just like it's just he was like he was saying like see a net like see a man Like your work is just shallow virtual signal inkblot and like and it just trails off into like an interconnected series of letters Like your cat just walked across you put people to your type and but look I think we all know what's going on here with with our boy

I'm sorry like the tweet where it's just all slurred. I was a boy of age and Napoleon called him Jason Peterson And I'm just like I need to see many I need to see videos of him being like I I don't even know I sleep I only hour last night and and then and then do a review of like a Bruce Willis movie that was filmed last week called Ritual murder Postmodernist pussy got me acting strange Somebody asked me about heroism. I said, what the fuck is that? I am just horrified imagining the food photos. It's like a real close-up of a raw snake and a toaster By the way, I like I don't like I was it like

The claim cast guys have just been they've been retweeting all weekend Just things from the hashtag carnivore diet and holy shit People people are so fucked up people are so bad. They've got like this shit. There's a thing now called meat salads Meat salads with instead of with croutons, but the croutons are pork rinds. I saw that today I saw someone make a pizza crust out of ground beef This is a sickness these people have to be stopped and I say this is someone who enjoys a good snake You know, I I you know, I let I consider myself a carnivore. I like eating meat But this shit has got to stop people are unwell

You know, I gotta say though you say this but I salute these guys for escaping the matrix of Liberal neuroticism and fixating on consumption and turning it into a neurotic spectacle for the approval of others and And just being real and based by turning into Victorian fainting couch housewives with their with their beef tinctures and and like these people and they're They're they're the thing they're like the thing with all that they're into eggs, too And like every meal every meal has to have like 15 fried eggs and a giant pat of butter Just sitting on top of like a just a gnarled piece of beef Like the grayest beef you've ever seen and then just a big pat of unmelted butter

Now here's the thing like this pisses me off because like, you know, I like to cook I love to cook a good steak and one of the best things to like finish a steak is to baste it in butter with like some garlic or Thyme rosemary or shallots, whatever you want. That's how you finish a steak But like just an unmelted just stick of butter on top. Oh, just they're fucking up the game They are fucking up the game badly. I saw one where a guy cooked his steak with his sink What you ran it under hot water. Oh my Oh, that's great. That's awful. Yeah, monsters. I like you've missed the point of food I know you are you have this disordered relationship with food as every horrified liberal that you're horrified of becoming of every so it out

Urbanite congratulations. Yeah, I like the the guys who do the carnivore diet But take it a step further by doing only raw food. Yeah They they also tapeworm brigade. Yeah, those guys the only guys who are Able to do that for extended periods. It seems our people in like, you know Denmark and Norway like those base people all probably have like higher food safety standards Yeah, I can do it for long enough without dying. Yeah, I think I think that's really the only reason those guys aren't dead Because everyone else I've seen try it. Um, I've seen a bunch of Americans Give it a shot and almost all of them have like at least

You cannot do that you can't go to Kroger and get meat that you go Eat raw within a week. They will be pulling a shy, hallowed size tapeworm out of their fucking asshole See like when I was a kid, we used to still do in in southwestern, Wisconsin That we southeast of Wisconsin used to still do cannibal sandwiches at Christmas, which was ground beef on Rye bread spread on rye bread with pepper and raw onion And I remember having that a couple times and I was little but as I got older it just went away Like people didn't even talk about it. That's because people eventually just started all go into a grocery store where nobody would fucking dare Try to put uncooked ground ground chuck in their fucking mouth. Yeah. Well, you guys are just doing it

I mean like like no one in history has ever done raw. You are not harkening back to any tradition No, I eat that way fire was such a big deal for cave. Yes. That's why we're human Explosion of the human fucking cortex for Christ's here's a thing. I eat like I I I think like raw meat is like raw beef can be really really good, but One of the best things you can have sandwiches by the way, we're delicious, but yeah, but like those sandwiches It's not so treat you get at a restaurant, right something. I prepare for lunch every day, right, right? But I mean like the carnivore sandwiches or steak tartare. It's presumably not just like Purchased at basically a gas station

You know you get it from like a butcher or you get you know You get it from someone who is through the you know a higher line of quality here I saw I saw I saw one of these threads someone shared where it was like the The sort of the practitioners of the cannibal diet We're sharing some some statistic or like some factoid where they were like Did you know that human beings only started eating vegetables 10,000 years ago? And like look, I know the caveman thing is like the caveman diet They were not eating meat like all the time because it was pretty fucking hard to come

Yeah, they were eating like roots and shit and they were hunting Gathering societies. There's gathering. That's a key component Oh, oh, they're they're fucking up the game badly. I mean, I just like I love a burger. I love a steak Oh my god. Yes. Yeah A well-cooked medium rare steak is like one of the most just perfect simple foods and to see them just Do-do all over it And I was like, I hate it because like say what you will about like the Ethics of you know killing animals to eat them and like the horrible

You know animal cruelty involved in like the the beef and dairy industry is but here's the thing It's like if that cow has died like I think you need to like the died to sustain you I think you need to like show some respect for the life It gave you by not just cooking the shittiest steak on the yeah Don't bring it in fried eggs and butter. Don't treat one of god's creatures like a tub of soylent For Christ's sake where you're just like sliding it down your grease throat to provide nutrients for for your vlogs I should not talk

um It's like uh, I think I want to talk about I'm moving on Matt you talked about how like we basically we just need to do a deal with china because like it's it's the one thing Behind the backs Like the you the deal the the ukraine russia thing has sort of like look like in the the mainstream of like the you know People who run foreign policy or talk about politics or involved in it in this country You're they're like pretty much the line on that but like at the periphery Like a lot of republicans are against it because joe biden's doing it and then like you know

Like people on the left or you don't want us getting involved in a you know another proxy ward of you know Up nato at the expense of europe and the rest of the world But the thing is though like there's there's there's now a new a new challenger has entered the room I mean like they're all on board for Isolating tensions with china as well, but there's a new boutique option because they're not but here's the thing They're not really going to do that because you can't do it yet fucking country. They have fantasies of disconnecting But like it's not anywhere near not possible as we've talked about with richard wolf But like they're not even very close to doing that can't do it. Yeah

But here's one thing they can do Ask to declare war on not mexico, but mexico's drug cartels I don't know if you saw lindsay graham this weekend. It was like i'm staking authorization to declare Our we need the mesican situation has got out of hand. They're they've got bandoleros and sombreros and I would like to work with you to liberate the mescan people from the scourge of Drug cartels I'd like to work with you to stop the flow of fentanyl into my country our country

That's killing 70 000 of our citizens and if you don't work with us, we're going to do it by ourselves So yeah, it's like and then i josh hammer writing in newsweek was like it's time to declare war on drug cartels And this is all based on this like I think totally spurious idea that like they're the main They're killing all these americans with fentanyl And like so like we just need like this is like sort of like similar to like Was it like the the gas versus electric stove debate? I just like in in this like demand that we like gin up a war with the drug cartels I just get this like palpable sense of like nobody really believes in this or takes it seriously

It is just so so obviously just a marketing gimmick of like there's there's that guy There's that another silicon valley tech ceo who's running for president as a republican that guy vivic ramswamy I believe his name in and he's just trying to like he's going to be the the andrew yang of the right and like instead of math His thing is like we need to we need to declare war on mexico's drug cartels to stop the spread of fentanyl Into america So I mean like armies. Well, I like I gotta do something We have this military in the world. It has to do something We have to have a project that we all involve with it that we can vent all of our pent up

political frustrations on instead of you know our actual system So it's right there. It's right there. It's a perfect pretext But like how like isn't this like just like whether we should take it seriously or not Like isn't this just like the perfect example of just like the absolute death drive of our society, right? Mm-hmm the absolute just nihilistic just Pedal to the metal straight into the void. I mean like that's that's what I read into this Yeah, I mean the the weird thing about like the declaring war on the cartels thing is Well, I mean it's like we we kind of have in the same way that we've declared war on terror organizations

In that like their action figures that we play against each other they're like, you know We were at war with one. We like another Uh, it's the same whack-a-mole game. We play with everything. It's like the exact same as the war on terror Like I I don't see I don't see how like allocating more money wouldn't result in like just More of the same just the same result but bigger. Yeah, it's well. It's it's it's the it's the continuation It's the logical continuation of the of the war on terror after its failure. The war on terror made certain promises

We would fight them there. So we didn't fight them here with the un Unstated premise that what we're going to be defending here is something worth living in and worthy worth defending And meanwhile while we were fighting them over there things got drastically worse here and we reached the end of our economic Viability and have been living in this suspended animation of cheap money and steady immiseration for everybody who doesn't have any of it ever since And it's it's poisoned our politics and it's made us search for something else And so there's an answer now emerging. Okay, we we don't why fight them over there when we can fight them here And we can make fighting our lives and we can turn

Everything into a battlefield. So yeah, we have no hope for anything else But we can find meaning in that struggle just like the fucking psycho neocons imagined We would do with our war in Iraq and like like similar to what we talked about with will somewhere about about how like QAnon had to exist to explain why Donald Trump like wasn't building the wall or draining the swamp and now like invading Mexico is like The answer to like why were there everyone knows we're not building the fucking wall So you got to you got to give these people the next thing and that's like this fantasy of going to war with Mexico Which you're absolutely right Matt is like these people want to go to war in America against like I don't know liberals and cities or whatever

But Mexico shit the country we share the world's largest border with close enough apparently, uh, Greg Abbott's getting ready to Allow, uh, posseys to operate on the border. So they're gonna wheelchair ramps from anybody who's You know, everybody's got who who who wants to Put their gun collection to use and is you know sicker sicker spend of the weekend getting getting the business and the rolling pin from the old misses Just a blow off some steam. I mean hunting down migrants in the border area. I mean I In unfortunately like in reality, this is just gonna be like hogs pointing their guns at like terrified Guatemalans

But like I Wish it was just oh, yes Sending these guys into war as and going like yeah time. Yeah, go to war take down the cartels yourself Let's do this. I that would be great to break back deadliest deadliest warrior just to be like cartels versus Boogaloo boys Who would win Sicari

Toro from Sicario or a guy in a rascal scooter with like 16 tactical pockets on his A guy a guy who's like who looks like kevin smith with like a barn door size Hawaiian shirt and a fucking and a plate carrier that like It goes only over his breasts How's he gonna do it? That's like a guy who's had a gun in his hand since he was 12 years old. Yeah Oh, man Oh, and I guess as long as we're talking about um losing wars. I also very much enjoyed this week. Um people still getting mad at jane fonda because like

Did like the like the like the still that the hatred and like just be like I spit whenever I hear jane fonda's name or like Hand away jane. It's just like the last bastion of like boomer conservative anger over losing the vietnam war And it's like look. I'm sorry. One of the hottest women of all time picked a winner Yeah, she had better judgment than you did back then. What do you what do you want from her? And I got to say Flicking it up with those north vietnamese missile batteries is like one of the hardest things anyone's ever she looked at me Shoot some she looked amazing then she looks amazing now honestly wonderful at 80 for 80 or brady Effort effervescence. She I mean if these people never seen clute or the china syndrome. Come on

She's one of our best actresses stream barbara Um, I I know I saw people in their 20s saying that like it's my most boomer opinion But jane fonda should be tried for treason I I did her with uh, jacob backer act the other night and he said caring about jane fonda now is like caring about mada harry. Yeah John will try when trying her for treason is insane because vietnam is like They're basically are pretty much our ally like they hate china Yes, like she I mean ultimately everything worked out

Yeah, this is we got a sitcom ending smile. Yeah, it's like. Oh, what if we get to stop dropping bombs on vietnam? When we start dropping a sewing machines and boom that worked out for everybody Well, the thing that kicked this off was that she was on the view And was asked like she was asked like, you know, like how do we deal with like the um, you know Rescending of reproductive rights across this country. She said, I don't know murder a few republican politicians. No, no, no, no She didn't really mean that she was like Besides, besides boxing and protesting. What else do you suggest? Well, it doesn't happen overnight. It's not a miraculous. What did you say murder?

She's kidding. Wait a second. She's just kidding. You know, hey I'm not saying it. I'm just saying watch clute and then consider what to do about republican politicians Yeah, what she said was right Um, she was right back then she's always been right This always looked great. She was right about, uh, you know, aerobic fitness. That's always Yeah, she was right about ted turner being demand. Yeah That's awesome. The ted is smashed. She says he's she says that he is to this day her favorite ex-husband Man, I'm gonna be really sad when ted turner does

When he does die, I hope CNN plays that like video that he prepared for the apocalypse happening Where like people stand in a field and sing near my god to thee as they just sort of like He was like the last cool billionaire. There was never gonna be a never Never gonna be another one like ted turner. Yeah, like when he dies They're not gonna put his frozen head in a refrigerator. He's gonna have a golden ziggurat 70 feet tall and it's gonna be awesome Yeah, he uh, I'll miss him Um, when he this is my favorite ted turner story. So he uh, for a while in the 80s owned the Atlanta Braves And so one day I think he'd fired the manager and or he put I forgot the details

But he put on a uniform and went down to manage the team If he was in the dugout, he's making the fucking uh lineup cards and then He did that for the the mexican team against the usa in the baseball world No, he like called in he liked it. Well, he called in. Yeah, you're the nixon. Yeah, Nixon called in to george allen and Gave him played ideas. No, no, no head turner put on the uniform and manage the team for the whole game And then after that MLB came out and said, okay, we're not allowing that owners can't do that But that like that is what you would do if you owned a baseball team professional sports. He actually did it Professional sports would be so much funnier and cooler if they let the owners of the teams try to be like players or managers

Because you would see how fucking stupid Worthless pieces shit these guys are Strip on your cleats get out there. Did they win then once now they don't even watch the games. They don't care It's it's like, oh if we Zero out again if we basically pay Play players as little as possible get rid of anybody with a big salary and and just rely on replacement level cheapies the share of the

TV contract is enough to guarantee us X amount of profit. So why would we spend any money? That's who owns baseball teams now. Nobody who wants to get the goddamn game Did Ted did the um braves win the game that I lost like now It's a shame. Well Going from, you know, uh, Ted turn it to like maybe another guy. We have to say goodbye to you now The last thing I want to talk to you about today is of course The end of rod dryers career doing a blog at the america So hard to say goodbye

to yes too rod is gay So, uh, this is I just want to say like, uh, this is some media reporting by uh, kelo bakarma in a vanity fair. So basically like The through line here is like I can't help but feel partly responsible for what's happened to rod because the most stunning part about this story is something I've always kind of suspected but it's insane to read it like in print Rod's entire salary was funded by one donor to the american conservative. God And look, okay, listen to this Listen to this, uh But this is kelo bakarma writing in vanity fair

But one particular reader upon reading that last of said post determined the blog had simply gotten too weird according to Sources familiar with the publication that disgruntled reader was Howard Amonson jr The heir to a california banking fortune and the sole benefactor of dryers six figure salary at the american conservative A six figure salary and you know what like a lot of people balked at that But like nobody can say he wasn't putting in the work. Absolutely. Yeah, this was not a make where look It was a make-believe job for him, but it was not a make-work job because he was doing work He was writing 10,000 words a day about trans cartoon characters. Yeah Yeah, it's not like when insta pundit would just go like a link and then hey

Yeah, yeah people it got people talking about the american conservative. Yeah, like Like what other articles for people sharing in that time? Like, um, oh josh hall josh hall is Serious the the only other thing that I know about is the daniel larison stuff, which is good and I like Larison he's because he talks as long as he's talking about foreign policy. It's very good stuff So there's that which you know good, but not that you know, it's not it's not it doesn't have the sizzle of a rod Yeah, it's it's not it's not um a larison as good as he is. It's not uh, it's not viral material You know what I mean? Like this is not gonna be there's gonna be blowing up the timeline anytime soon No, no disrespect to daniel, but just reading on here. It says here

Uh The heir to a california banking fortune and sole benefactor of drar's six figular salary at the american conservative Which is published by the american ideas institute a non-profit This unique funding arrangement a single donor choosing to cover one writer's entire salary was paired with an even more unusual editorial arrangement Drar was allowed to publish directly on the american conservative site without any revisions or legal oversight according to the two sources Drar amonson and emeel doach Uh, the american conservative's executive director did not respond to a request for comment Amonson had apparently long admired the work of drar who was who has authored numerous conservative books and previously wrote for the belief net blog

And the dallas morning news, but according to two sources Amonson began to sour on his beneficiary in 2021 when drar in a blog post debating circumcision wrote the following Quote all us boys wanted to stare at his primitive root wiener when we were at the urinal during recess because it was I remember nobody told us that wieners could look like that Incredibly, that was the first red flag for amonson one source told me adding that the rift had been building for about a year And then I said one more paragraph I want to get to here It says some of drar's commentary on the gay and transgender community has also proved off putting to amonson such as his lurid musings

On anal sex Rectal bleeding and the partially rotted off nose of a gay man who contracted monkey box at some point He basically decided this is too weird the source barrel-raising amonson explained to me I don't want to read this or pay for this anymore so Did I say like I like I said I can't help it feel partly responsible because I know I know us covering the root Pervative root penis article got some eyeballs to that post maybe even his sugar daddy himself

Who just finally decided as we have been covering four years? Weird rod is just too fucking weird. He's not normal He did you know presumably he was reading every single post that he paid for I I would hope yeah, I mean that would you seem like that would be due diligence. Yeah, I may I'm Maybe I'm trying to absolve us of responsibility here, but um This is a sad day I mean that yeah, like I really do hope that like another guy another descendant of no across

Provides a similar arrangement with rod when Nelly bowls. Yeah. Yeah. Hopefully she will Provide behind Barry could yeah, her and Barry needs to sign him up at the the the free press or whatever whatever whatever Bullshit Ten-year position in gender. Yes at the University of Austin. Yeah, University so I guess like this comes down to is like I When I when I consider like look, I'm sure there will still be more rod to read in the future because you know He'll just go on substack or whatever but I mean this is an end of an era as like, you know, I consider this show like the

The prime, you know, we're the the rod beat is really chop-o-trap house alone and it's true I like to think we made so many more people aware of rod and his beautiful mind and But here's the thing when I consider the situation of rod right now um, no job no family and has just recently soured the authoritarian strongman who's been Been letting him live in his country letting him live in his country As he flees family and responsibility back here in the united states And I got to ask myself like do I do I do I feel like a tinge of sympathy for roger and the situation he's put himself in The answer is I think, you know, like we're all human like

I I feel for rod and i'm concerned for him But I do have to say um, he has dedicated his entire life to evils So yeah, he has made the world manifestly like I like I mean his his work How shall I put this um is is worship of satan? Like he like he Traffics with the dark one down the left hand path and it has clearly driven him insane and I know on some level I think he feels guilty about all this and I think maybe there's some sort of like Freudian self-sabot It's always going on here to like punish himself for like what he knows is so wrong about him

Um, and look reading between the lines of the vanity fair post. I do think it is funny Like weird here is just a synonym for fruity and I do think it's funny that he's going to be a victim of the Like he's losing his job due to the homophobia. He's spent his entire career promulgating. So rod brother Hope you make it out of hungry. I don't know like have you guys like you can run a sub stack anywhere in the world But I wouldn't stick around hungry much longer. Here's a pitch Uh fourth mic. Yeah rod dryer fourth mic. Come on out. Come on over. We'll chop it up people people would love that

Oh my god People would fucking go apeshit for that. That's awesome Uh, but yeah, like I mean maybe he look rod open door policy on rod. I mean, I understand Yeah, I understand he might be a little reticent to come on a show that has spent um years trying to Trying to destroy his life But you know, we couldn't have done a better job than he did. No, we never tried. No, we've never tried to destroy his life This is yeah, we like talking about his article attention economy

We were stoking the the fires of the ss rod Shoveling some more coal into the furnace. Yeah Uh, best of luck best of luck to rod dryer. Please buy a condos. Yeah Because you know you got time on your hands now. So you know if you look you want that chopper bump for that when you Launch that sub stack man because like, you know, the daddy war bucks is you know, that's that's that's done now So if you want to see if you want to keep writing about um ass fucking and uh dick sucking Uh, and and you know that keep you in oysters then you need that chopper bump So come on the pod we'll promo the sub stack and you know, hopefully convince you to stop doing all the evil that you've

helped put into the world All right, gentlemen, uh, let's let's leave it there for today. Sure thing. I just want to shout it out shout it out president g for the For grinding out a respectable lunch pail nine to five diplomatic coup in getting saudi arabia and iran to reestablish diplomatic relations Amazing that that clutch move I um, I I would like to know the name of um I know he's out there the chinese henry kissager who probably worked on this

Well, I look forward to israel in the united states starting a war with iran in the next month or so Yeah, because they just discovered lithium in iran too. So oh boy. It's about to but the heat up Over there Well, we got it. We got to practice on the cartels for a while first. Yeah. Yeah because like dude if we Like look if we can't get out of the cartel Level, we're not going to do good against the irgc boss. Yeah, you know, we gotta gotta grind some stats before we enter that boss arena I think um my conclusion now lately has been that every army in the world is just bad

Like no one no one's good. Everyone sucks No, I mean the incentives are really against an army being good. Yeah It's like if your army's too good then everybody gets in trouble, you know, you're like it makes sense to sort of just tend to be working most of the time the only people who I've like, you know I've seen anything from has been hezbollah and that was like almost 20 years ago. Like that. It's yeah There may be no good armies left, which Yeah, pretty good. I feel like hezbollah has a mickey mouse rings. That was a bubble bubble season Israel is out loving on

All right, uh till next time gentlemen. Bye. Bye. Bye. It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday I don't know Where Who is going to leave