Chapo Trap House - 753 Teaser - A Dog Called Battleship

Episode Date: July 28, 2023

We discuss Biden’s declining ability to control & name his dogs. Subscribe today for access to the full episode and all premium episodes! www.patreon.com/chapotraphouse

I think my favorite story this week of the absolute mummies in control of our entire government. Joe Biden's new dog is bite in more people. I love that. I think I really like it when that happens. That's awesome. I honestly do find it charming that it's just like, like, major was like a pretty bad dog, but Commander is like, Kujo. Yeah dog, but Commander is like, Kujo. Yeah. No, he commander is like born to kill. And as Biden gets older, the names get less coherent and dumber, and

the dogs get more violent. And you just imagine the White House, and it's just these half-fearal dogs chewing on secret service agents, leaving huge dumps in the Lincoln bedroom. Yeah, but by like, if Biden wins the second term, he'll have like just a wolf, like not even a domesticated one, just a wolf you found in Delaware, and he'll name him army. And he'll kill, he'll kill nine deputy secretaries in the cabinet and they'll just be like, you know, well, it's his dog like what the fuck do you want us to do? It's 14 serval cats. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, Joe Biden will become a Russian Instagram pet owner. Yeah, but like, I'm sorry, those Russians that have bears in their arpoomas and their fucking house and shit. Those animals are well behaved. Those animals like, they're having their teeth bulge. They're watching TV, they're not biting people. Listen to this shit. Well, they never bite. They never bite Joe. Like you never hear Joe maimed by a battleship

or whatever the other dog's name is. Battle. Battle. You know, it's always happening to other people. I actually, a lib I know had a very funny conspiracy theory that like I told him I really enjoyed. He said that he thinks that the Secret Service agents are, they're secretly all Republicans and they're goading commander and inviting them to make Joe look bad, which like, I don't know if I

agree with that, but it was pretty, that's pretty funny. I like that. It's a very passive aggressive. I mean, they have the evidence of the secret service weird secret service relationship to January 6th and all that whole covering up of texts and communications between the Secret Service guys, the Secret Service guys who just like went to work for Trump after he left office. Yeah. It's clearly, you know, you got to bet.

Those guys probably like Trump more than Biden. So, I mean, at the very least, you can sort of understand why. You know, his dog is using them as chew toys. But yes, I like the idea that they're just being incredibly passive-aggressive bitches and like putting, like, them is chew toys. But yes, I like the idea that they're just being incredibly passive aggressive bitches and like putting like slathering like baking grease on their ankles and walk in next to commander to see what will happen.

Yeah, it's like I don't I don't look for like conspiracies that I necessarily agree with or think are plausible. I just like I like something creative, you know? Yeah. Clint Eastwood's character from In The Line of Fire, taking phone calls from a dog. Just be good to the phone. I'll tell you some of you mother fucker and he goes, John Dockovich is a dog going, when you ask me who's a good boy,

I see you standing over the grave of another dead president. I'm gonna hit you with a newspaper, you bitch, piece of shit. over the grave of another dead president. I'm gonna hit you with a newspaper, you bitch, piece of shit.