Chapo Trap House - 754 - Sugar Spotters feat. David J. Roth (7/31/23)

Episode Date: August 1, 2023

David J. Roth returns to break down the MLB’s new pitch clock rule, Shohei Ohtani’s amazing season, and the Mets terribl- no, we’re not doing a baseball ep! We’re getting David’s takes on DeSantis’ amazing fail record & disgusting personal habits, the relative retail political strength of the GOP bench, and our need for a new WPA to put conservatives to work creating Broadway 2. Find more David Roth over at https://defector.com/

I How about that show A.O. Tommy? We love him. You believe this guy? Incredible. Baseball. Cartoon. Cartoon character. I've been like Steve Nebraska from the film The Scout.

Made real. But are we pro or anti-pitchcock, David? I've come like Steve Nebraska from the film The Scout made real. But are we pro or anti-pitchcock David? I've come around on it more or less. I don't know if it's like, I think there would be a way to do it that would annoy people a little bit less, but that's like not the MLB way. Like if you like added two seconds to it, I think people would be less upset,

but that's like Rob Manfred's whole job is fighting for those two seconds like the whole integrity of the game rests on it. I mean, I give you a funny answer. I've just been thinking about it. The bets are terrible, man. I have to be like paying attention to how long the games are. The rest of the shits offer me nothing at all.

Sure, sir, through the rangers. Welcome to, we're talking baseball with David Roth. And I feel like it's his own vacation. Do not fear. We've got defectors, David Roth. And we're talking to you. Did Felix send you his list of top 50 guys to move at the deadline?

Because I have mine. I know I've seen Matt's. He just said, poor white phosphorus on Riggly field. That was baseball thoughts. But yeah, we got David Roth in the house today. Maybe we'll talk some baseball, but okay, we got it. The first thing I need to talk about in today's show we'll talk some baseball, but okay, we got it, we got it for the first thing

I need to talk about in today's show. This was a news story that broke like five minutes after we stopped recording. Very frustrating. And it's just so, so annoying. So I will just, I will just introduce this clip by saying halt citizen sugar has been detected in your treats.

Cue up the clip, roll it. Yeah, it's gonna be true. Oh, what is that? Is it? Yeah, that's probably a lot of sugar, huh? Or a wing County. I just probably want to figure it that.

Huh? That's okay. You know, right, your teeth have diabetes. Go for it. The voice is not altered in any way. You didn't run it through the holding your nose

like a child filter. He can't, he cannot help it. He sees sugar and he just starts kissing. It's like a red pile. That's like the opposite. It's like formally the same as Trump getting on the phone with that kid and being like, do you believe in the Easter Bunny?

Probably not, right? A little fiduciate. A little five is diametrically opposite, but the content is somehow the same. I'm just like, I feel like there's on vacation and it's too bad that he can't claim the glory or rather a blaze his own glory, thank you x.com. I really wish he looks over here to blaze the glory.

Oh, if Rhonda Santas' continued sugar bungles. I mean, this guy, I mean, I just like, I thought Felix saying, like, Felix pointing like just just crystallizing Rhonda Santas with the, it's sugar man moment. Then nothing was going to top that. But walking around Iowa, wearing a like a fucking sleeveless zip up when it's 98 degrees outside. And then the only thing his brain can think of to spit out to some kid with a slushie or ice cream or whatever is saying there's a lot of sugar in that. Yeah, just doing Billy Eichner's shit where he chastises people for whatever they're eating.

Like going into a Wendy's and being like, you don't need a large fries, look at yourself. Jesus Christ. Oh man. There's a photo of him in a truck stop or like whatever convenience store type thing. Where he's standing. And it's basically, again, like sort of similar to that photo of Hillary where she's like

in a normal person's house. And it looks like she's seeing the fucking like slide show from Man Hunter. That just, looks like she's seeing the fucking like slide show from manhunter. This is a sink. Do you see? Right. This is a familiar after it's becoming. Do you see? No, but David in the rondisant this one, he's like, he's bent at a perfectly 90 degree angle surveying all of the gas station food, and then the journalist or whatever was just like,

Ron surveyed the items at the gas station. He purchased a quest bar. Yeah, quest bar? A quest bar. A quest bar. Let's think about how long that quest bar had been sitting in that gas station. Like that arrived there,

like at least when Obama was president, possibly earlier, and he was like, all this seems to be the healthy end-stopping. Quest bars are sort of like a high protein energy bar that has the appearance of candy and has chocolate flavor, but certainly no sugar. No sugar. You can't have any of that.

He has put himself in a dietary distance, man. He is doing it. I'm glad that you pointed out the posture, though, because that guy's rewired his whole like fizzy agnomy and way of presenting himself to the world to emulate Trump and it's going to get him beaten by Tim Scott in two primaries and then he's just going to have to go back to his job. Like, well, all of that, you do the accordion hands now, he can't stop doing that. Like that's just in his brain. That's not an opt out.

And he's stuck with that. You said like he's trying to, he's trying to imitate Trump or now he's trying to distance himself from Trump and like nothing is working for this guy. This comes on the heels of New York Times out today with a headline Trump crushing dissentists and GOP rivals times C&O poll fines. And like the whole poll just breaks down like the different tranches of Republican support.

And Donald Trump has more support among Republicans who think that compelling Bud Light to attack trans people is the most important issue of the day. And people who think that that's not an important issue. And people, there's just a fuck up about it. And it's like the same margins, right? Like it's basically like Republicans that think that trans people are real and okay.

And then Republicans that think that trans people are demons on this earth, both agree by like 36 points that Rod DeSantis is unsettling and they don't want to vote for him. Well, like, here are some here are some published from the New York Times article. Mr. DeSantis narrowly edged Mr. Trump on being seen as likable and moral. Interestingly, the sheriff of Republicans who said Mr. Trump was more fun than Mr. DeSantis, 54% to 16%, almost perfectly mirrored the overall horse race. On a range of issues, the poll suggests it will be difficult for Mr. DeSantis to break through against Mr. Trump on policy arguments alone. In the head-to-head matchup, Mr. Trump was far ahead of Mr. Deacenth, this among Republicans who accept transgender people as the gender they identify with, and among those who do not.

Among those who want to fight corporations that promote woke left ideology, and among those who prefer to stay out of what businesses do, among those who want to send more military and economic aid to Ukraine, and among those who do not. Among those who want to keep social security and Medicare benefits as they are, and among those who want to take steps to reduce the budget deficit It's just there is no policy here that would play Kate any of these people. It's not about policy There's no one wants any policy. Yeah, Peral see means nothing. I mean there was a there was a thought I had that maybe The vaccine could be a lewedge, but nobody everyone has agreed that they just don want to, they want to pretend that never happened that they just want to move on.

And like only the real freaks want to keep talking about COVID in any respect, in any respect. So that's not useful. So in every other thing, it's like, he's basically got the same policies as Trump. He's arguing he can do them better. But yeah, who really cares about that? He looks like a freaking creep that nobody likes. That's what really matters. There's a great bit at the end of that story

where this is the first time I've ever seen this. I'm not like a habitual reader of polls, but I feel like I would have heard about it before where they asked which candidate was more fun or the most fun? Like they used that word. And in the times, I don't remember the exact wording. They're basically, like it was 56 to 53 to 17,

Trump over to Sanctus for most fun. And they were like interestingly, this mirrors the spread and the broader electorate in the Republican party. And it is basically one to one with their preferences. So it's like, I think beyond the fact that it's stupid to try to win a Republican primary, like on policy, like just as much as it's stupid to try to win a Republican primary on policy, like just as much as it's stupid to try to win one

in a Democratic primary, it's just also, like, you know, the wish casting is a little bit grosser, I guess, for the GOP is concerned. There's also, it's like, basically they're asking, do you wanna recast the role of like the hero of the cable news should, do you watch? Like, do you wanna like recast the Mill Gibson part in lethal weapon with Kurt Cameron?

Are you into that? And the answer is no. Like nobody wants to do that shit. There's a, I mean like this, this time's article had one of the best poll quotes from one of the people that they pulled I've ever seen in one of these articles. Oh, this is a GOP voter here. He might say mean things and make all the men cry because all the men are wearing your

wife's underpants and you can't be a man anymore. David Green, 69, a retail manager and Summersworth New Hampshire said of Mr. Trump. You've got to be a little sissy and cry about everything. But at the end of the day, you want results. Donald Trump's my guy. He proved it on a national level. They're out there crying. They're wearing diapers.

They got a big lollipop. They got a propeller beanie. The thing is, I'm stuck out of this where he goes. They're crying. They're wearing your wife's panties. When they're their wives panties? Or is like the implication of these guys are breaking into your house?

No, they came into your wife's bedroom and stole her ladies' garments. Not stealing the panties, James L Roy style. It's hard to read the first bit of that quote in anything but the like most syslack, I have a big butt and it's a smelly butt and I like to kiss my own butt, Kings. Like it's clear that this guy had been waiting

for a really long time to get the opportunity to just get some fucking bars off about libs. And he blew it. He got too excited. He said a bunch of stuff that didn't make any sense. The wife's panties. Right? And hold on.

Are you recording yet? Because I wanted to do a panties bit, but I think I said, I used the wrong, because I said, you're a wife. Wait, yeah. Of course, not your wife. All right, count myself back down. Three, two, one, they love to wear my wife's pants. Shit.

Not shit. Come on. I mean, this is, this is, it goes to show why they're not gonna go from Trump because like a guy like this, he's clearly got things going on. Yes, but he does not want to examine them. He just wants to have fun with them. And like the whole DeSantis deal is, no, we're going to like get, we're going to get quantum

on all of these policies. And we're going to like tease out all the pathologies underlying them. Nobody wants that. We want to overturn those rocks. Sorry. They want the big guy to be like, we're going to take care of it. We're going to look at it strongly. That's all he wants. And then they wanna like get mad at the people that are keeping him from looking into it strongly enough and hitting the like two week timetable that he quoted them.

The idea like, that's the part that's funny about the quote to me, beyond the obviously, the panties bit is very good. We got a hand it to David Green, 69 of New Hampshire. There's all, when he has to like hit the emergency break and do the 180 to be like, oh, but at the end of the day, it's about results, right? And it's about America. I don't know, dude, like you said, way more. A lot of it.

You see way more excited about who's wearing who's panties than about the other stuff. So, well, I mean, like, David, to me, like the most amazing thing at the end of that quote was when he said, like, you know, we, at the end of the day, it's about results. And he's proved it on a national level. And I'm like, what, like, what did he do that you approve of? Like, what's the thing that he delivered? I mean, was it the tax cuts? Was it that he was entertaining every single day?

For his awesome. Yep. He made a television fun to watch every single day. He was a really funny, and you could more importantly importantly imagine liberals getting mad at the thing he was saying That no one can give you what he gives you right certainly not the guy the guy that's like I'm gonna Give you all of the stuff that he talked about and none of the fun of watching him talk about it is like as Crucial a misreading of what that electorate wants as anything that I could imagine yeah like that is a more of what that electorate wants as anything that I could have met. Like that is a more dramatic misunderstanding and misapprehension of that base

than talking about universal health care to me. So, someone noticed this other day, I don't know if you guys follow this account. This guy, John Cardelo, who's like a former, formerly a very spicy former New York see. So, a former bad lieutenant with the NYPD All-in on trope Rudy Bernard Carrick like he's their guys and he's one of these guys that has like now come to realize that like He was like all about stop the steel. This is a fraudulent election But you know the guy is a former cop and when you see like recordings of someone in the box just confessing to Making shit up and lying and lawsuits and stuff, he's jumped on the dissent

to strain now. And he's tweeting every day, and someone shared this the other day in our group chat. And he was like, he lied to all of you and stole. He took $200 million to stop the steal. He's not using to pay his legal fees. And now all these patriots are rotting in jail because he lied to them.

I just like all I could think about reading that to you was like, Goddamn, Trump's so cool. Yeah. He got all those people locked up. He stole all their money and it's just like spending it on his lawyers. Dude, yeah. That's like the real numbers.

They love him. They have. I can love him for it. I think that's if you want to get money to hold that. Dude, that's in a way. At the end of the day, it's about results. Think Trump took hundreds of realtors off the street.

He encouraged them to take themselves off the street, but basically all of the most psychotic, car dealership, and real estate agent types in America, like they self-selected, and then he got them locked up. Like that's more than I think, you know, Joe Biden would ever be able to say or even like follow through on. I mean, like, look, I, I feel bad now

because like this round of Santos campaign goes much worse. So like, we're gonna be really hard up for things to talk about. Oh god, we're gonna get a Vivek news cycle. Like it's gonna be very bad. I mean, they're, they're, they're, they're inflating the Tim Scott bubble right now. So like, but by now, but sell now, but sell before August is out.

Yeah, yeah, that's it. You don't want to go along on any of these guys. You got a day trade. Just get like, there's a little bump you just get in there and then you get the fuck out because the long term prospects are doomed. I do find it kind of charming that they still have the idea of like there's this young bench of like talent coming like Democrats

Don't do that anymore like it's just like the oldest living member of the party gets to run for president and that's the rule But they still there's like I mean obviously like Josh Hawley and stuff like knows better But like him and like Tom cotton all those guys want to be president and they're all just as unsettling Yeah, the like visceral level as DeSantis is. Yeah, it's nothing but the same high. Yeah, I will, I will say they're all, they're all, they're all DeSantis. I will say this about hallway and Tom Cotton, like they want to be president, never going to happen for them, but at least they were smart enough not to run in 2024.

Yeah, this was the easiest IQ test possible. Do not run against Trump. Right. He is still the president, according to a majority of the primary voters. How do you run against the legitimate president? Yeah, even if you were good at politics, which I think we can now see that DeSantis mostly is not.

There's one thing that everyone that you need to vote for you agrees upon, which is that this guy is cool and should be their dad. And how do you, so if you're running against him, where do you fit in that argument? Like that's, I think part of, I mean, obviously a lot of it's just that retail-wise de-Santis is trash and doesn't have the chops. But there's also this other element

where you kept trying to, like, get in these weird little needling sort of comments about, you know, like, he has had some legal troubles, but of course, I would let him fuck my wife. And it's just like, that's not, that's not, like, you both of those flopped, like you have to pick one of those and stick with it. Well, no, I mean, like the line to say this is going with now

is he said that Trump wouldn't have all these legal problems if he had drained the swamp. Yeah. So, like, so what do you mean by that? I mean, I'm like, it's being interpreted by the press as like he's criticizing Trump for his legal troubles. He's like, no, he's criticizing Trump for like not executing Jack Smith when he had the chance.

Yeah. Like disbanding the DOJ when he had the chance or whatever. But David, you talked about how like as we're seeing now, like it's just, I don't know why this, I mean, like the thing is, he barely won that race against Andrew Gillum, who was on Off of Being, the whole fucking race. Most of us campaigned stops where it trucks that bathrooms. But I guess he was considered a formidable or like a popular figure in the state of Florida. But once again, like, this is just a Florida thing.

What Florida is so weird and different from the rest of the country. Like, it's the least normal state we have. Yeah. It is. It is a giant human insane asylum and nursing home combined. There's also, and I feel like I'd be interested in what you think about this too well, especially because I feel like as like Tri-State area, New York, New Jersey, Connecticut people, we have some responsibility for that.

Cause like Florida has always been the sort of like, like when you use a garbage disposal, the slurry that is produced like drains into, like central Florida is like, except for that's like guys, that's like the entire police officers and like psychotic ex administrators that just like go down there. And so that's I think like it's hundreds of thousands

of people like it's not unrealistic to say that like the part of the reason, I mean obviously Florida's always been a freak state. Like there's a lot of good book about it. It's like the same reason he will never fucking he was never going to work on a national level. It because like the New York the the subspecies of New York tri-state area Creighton is just like the Florida guy. Yeah, I mean they they respect that. I mean it's like when you flesh an alligator down the toilet like you said yeah that's so that the garbage disposal slurry

ends up from the tri-state area. Yeah, although you don't you can't have a garbage disposal in New York because of the walk. Yeah, they don't because because yeah because the woke is him and area. Yeah, although you can't have a guard who's disposal in New York because of walkeness. Yeah, they don't want cause cause yeah, cause the woke is them and stuff. Yeah, I was reading Bernard Carrick's Twitter feed the other day, is that okay to say? Yeah, it's absolutely. You're just trying to go to sleep, you know. Just thinking about like,

saw somebody talking about something he was talking about. And I have him like, I did the auto block, the people that that bought blue on Twitter or whatever. So I had to go unblock Bernard Carrick and then see how far back it was before he had posted about anything but that Jason Aldin song. And it was like, I didn't get to the bar. It was like four or or five days of him. Also, Bernard Carrick, the idea of try that in a small town is a really, Bernard Carrick, like the idea of like try that in a small town is a really like try that in America's biggest town try that in Staten Island like the slush whatever the fucked up version of the large city that I've lived in for my entire life. But yeah, it uh it's nice to know

that those guys he is that he stayed like that guy should by rights be like um you know or lando's problem at this point but he's not. I did just see that Jason Aldean performed in Massachusetts yesterday. And he just, I mean, like he was, he continues to defend this, try that in a small town song. By the way, if you guys listen to that song, I haven't heard anything about it. Like, what? I have it. Why is everyone so angry at this song?

Because it's just sort of like, Hey, if you try to, you try to loot a Walgreens here, we'll fucking kill you. It's, it's, it's Scott lyrics about how, oh, you tried to be mean to a police officer in a small town and we will execute you. Yeah. Yeah. That kind of, it's like he flipped Randy Newman's red necks, but like without the, the perspective that was on the original. And, and, and of course, you know, everyone is, everyone loves playing detective now. So it was very quickly figured out that the, the set for the, the video, which has got pulled off of CMT is, is a small town, Georgia town hall, which of course had a lynching occur in front of it. So everyone is like, this is a dog whistle,

but I'm like, you're trying to find a town hall in a southern town. What the odds are, there was probably a lynching involved at some point. But anyway, yeah, that's why I ever got that. Also the idea of Jason Aldin masterminding that shit, where he's like, they just bringing him pictures of different courthouses and he's like,

that's not racist enough. Like, I need something to do. Like, well, I like, I mean, I'm gonna get to my beef with Jason Aldin in a second, but I like to sort of like try that in a small tone attitude. You know, where it's just like, this is what you're worried about. You saw 700 people get shot in front of you.

It would be big. It's like, I just, yeah. I like, I mean, where is, I have a little perspective about, right a song about that, buddy. But I gotta say, if they had tried that in a small town, it wouldn't have happened. Yeah. I mean, where's, I have a little perspective about, the greatest song about that buddy. But I gotta say, if they had tried that in a small town, it wouldn't have happened.

Yeah. Well, there wouldn't be like people there. He's from Meakin too, which is I think actually a decently big city that also. It's got like a hundred thousand people in it. Yeah. Yeah.

John Rocker's from there. It's great town. Yeah. Nobody's actually, none of the people who talk about the shit are actually from small towns. Right. It's basically axiomatic at this point. Well, anyway, I like, I didn't have a problem with them because of the people who talk about this shit are actually from small towns. Right. It's basically axiomatic at this point.

Well, anyway, I didn't have a problem with them because of the song, but I have one now because he was performing in Massachusetts. And he said to the sort of message, the mass whole crowd, he was like, you guys can relate to my trip to the message of the song. You know, it's like after the Boston bombing, when you guys were Boston strong, everyone had each of his backs. And I'm like, Boston strong again with this shit. What about New York, baby?

How about you come here and fucking tell us how about 9 11, buddy? That was the biggest town and we came together and look, they haven't done it again since they have not tried it since because they saw how New York strong we were. Where were Jason Aldin performed? Did he play like Gillette Stadium or something like that? It was like, I probably, some place. It was one of the Boston sports arenas, not Joaquest Stadium though.

Yeah, I would think that would be a good spot for him. That's a really, that's a very dark place that I've been there once. It's at the end of a bunch of really narrow roads that are constantly choked with traffic on a game day. And then it's surrounded by a frozen mall that when I was there had, oh my gosh, I'm forgetting his name.

The put a boot in your ass guy had like a restaurant for a while. Toby Keith. Toby Keith. Toby Keith's all American, you know, a real grill in it. I've been, I was one to one of those like six months before they all closed because it was apparently just like a giant like good fellow scam

where they were just using the front to just buy stuff and sell it or whatever. Yeah, they have a bar shape like a guitar. I feel like you could just resell that. That there's probably a solid secondary market for like you can just send that to like whatever kid rocks place or something. Yeah, Jason Aldin, it's time for you to get

a rocket roll country bar and grill get going. Yeah, Jason Aldean, it's time for you to get a rocket roll country bar and grill get going. Yeah, but it's someplace small, but it near a building that's really big it in. I said, like a month ago, I said we should send him a gift basket, but now I feel like we need to send him our support. We need to juice this campaign up. I need some to talk about for the next 12 months. And David, you mentioned that what we are seeing here is his true virtue as a retail campaigner, just abysmal, abysmal at, you know, glad handing, talking to people.

Like, do you see the clip of him laughing while holding a beer with those people? And he's just like, yeah. And then like, and then he's like, okay. And then he turns away and you see him as he's turning away the camera's focus on his face, the smile and like joviality that he was trying to mimic just drops off his face.

Just drops off like a fucking ton of bricks. For a guy that has been touted as a real candidate, he's had more like mask of sanity moments than anyone that I could think of. You don't want that. No, you kind of, that's kind of the whole job, really, of being a politician is to prevent those moments from occurring.

You don't want to just be Greg Stilson walking around with the baby in front of you. whole job really of being a politician is to prevent those moments from occurring. Yeah, you know, I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. This is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing.

I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing.

I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is the thing. I feel like this is not a compliment, I want to make clear, that he has, if you were like waiting for a drink at a wedding, like if you were like in a line at a bar at a wedding and he was somebody's in law, you could talk to him about like the jets for five minutes. And it wouldn't be great, but you could do it.

And I think that he's the only person in the GOP field that you could like successfully be like, well, I don't know, like Rogers like has probably something left and he'd be like, all right, we'll get all maybe. Whereas like, DeSantis would not do that. Like, he would start talking about the blockchain or, you know, forehead shapes or whatever. Like you would, you would, you would attempt to talk to, to Uncle Ron about, like, oh, what do you, what do you think that just this year, you know, they're gonna, maybe, maybe you're running back or two or something like that.

Was it just Sean Watson or something like that? And it'll just be like, wow, wow, thanks for telling me that. Cool. That's great. Do you know what it's for showing me that? Is Dalvin Cook, does he eat a healthy diet? What are his macros?

Tachy. But like, so New York magazine actually, as compiled, this headline here is all of Rhonda Santas' crimes against good etiquette by Margaret Hartman. I don't know we've covered enough of these individually, but I'd like to take them now holistically to just like, what's this guy's deal? Beginning with, of course, eating pudding with his hands, per the daily beast, enshrined in DeSantis lore as an episode from four years ago during a private plane trip from Telehassy to Washington

DC in March of 2019. DeSantis enjoyed a chocolate pudding dessert by eating it with three of his fingers according to two sources familiar with the incident. I mean DeSantis has denied, denied this incident, denied the pudding incident. But I'm actually a little shocked that the nobody has picked up on, I mean, the unbelievable dissent, this Lord dropped on this show, then he took a flight to Israel and just sat there. No headphones, no, no movie, no book, no nothing, just staring into the back of the seat in front of him for just nine hours. Like he just like powered down. Yeah.

Like C3PIO when he's all asleep mode. Yeah. That's just when Ron triggers energy saver mode, you know the stump speech that happens between eight to 10 hours later is gonna be fire. He's gonna be, oh, battery be basically full. That is unsettling. I know there's just one about like,

there was something about his wife, is that in there where he would like go on dates with people and he would say tie wrong? I feel like I've like, I'm just gonna do that. So we all talked about that. You would say it wrong to see if they would correct him. He would mispronounce.

Tie land. As Thailand, and if a woman corrected him, then he had to not see her again because that's not what a help meet is for. Someone who would literally not be employable in any job beyond one of the like most important powerful jobs in the country. Like that is not a guy that could like manage like a quiz nose. Like they would be in the direction with a week. Yeah. They would run his ass through the fucking the the toaster fucking pepper bar. Yeah, yeah, the drown him in the pepper bar It is it does not just end with eating pudding with his fingers

Apparently he is a disgusting eater in general Wallach stream it seems the pudding incident was in totally out of character for the saddest a former staffer said he was known for Devouring food during meetings. He would sit in meetings and eat in front of people. The former Decentre staffer told the Daily Beast, always like a starving animal who has never eaten before, getting shit everywhere. Though a viral video of Decentre saying, um, hungry when presented to the burger is fake, the fact that so many people found it plausible is not a good sign for his campaign. There's no way to come back from, I mean, even just the pudding thing, when you have to like

issue a statement, vis-a-vis the pudding claims, it's, you're done. It's over. Like, you can't be elected president if there's some, even just, you know, a strong minority of people that think that you ate pudding like a raccoon. putting him, Peter. Yeah, just three fingers. I don't know how many fingers is the right number to use. Three seems to me to the worst. I think three is the maximum amount of fingers you could fit in a put up to just scoop it into your mouth. Right, that's why. Like two is like, all right, well, it's like a dainty little spoon. It's not great.

It's not 100% what you want, but it could be worse. But three is definitely just how can I get my whole hand? Can I get my whole face in here? No, then you check down to. I think the big problem with the with the pudding thing is is, you know, revelations of idiosyncratic personal habits for a Republican can be good because then it gives Republicans a chance to own the libs by hopping them like all those dipshit who went to the finest steak houses in the DC area and ordered their steaks medium with ketchup fuck you. But you know one wants to eat pudding with their fingers in public. No one's going to feel like they're owning the li lips doing that.

They're only going to feel very, very strongly, oh shit, I'm only owning myself here. That's actually the most I've wanted the Santa's boom lit, though, was the idea of people like cutting like, are you offended? Yeah, tick tocks of themselves doing that. Like cozy shack has to formally disavow themselves from all of these guys. They're like, that is not our values at all. Like butterscatches for everybody. All the staffers he just fired were like one week away from doing like a grouper putting

putting protests on behalf of Ron. But then unfortunately, we won't live to see that. Yeah, it's weird that a campaign featuring a bunch of fucking based, zoomer teens did not connect more readily with the base of the oldest, meanest people in every state. I mean, that's the thing is like, the young based people, like they like to imagine themselves as being mean and ruthless, but they are nothing like the average 75 year old primary voter in New Hampshire. When it comes to hating other people and demanding things from them.

Yeah, they're just they're confusing. I think that's the thing with the like and it's been kind of funny to see like the way that the discourse around the Whatever the neat hot men guy, but I mean just in general the way that those people get talked about where there's this tier of sort of like, sinecure, like, rod, drayer type conservative intellectuals that clearly know all these guys and are also very familiar with all the Nazi symbology that all of these dudes are always getting busted for using. And yet, like, those people are also, like, in their day job,

the ones that are himming the, like, the common man and his wish just to be left alone or whatever. And then just looking at, like, Wojac, Sonnenrod, Gifts, until morning, and then just going back to work, feels untenable to me. Like, I just don't know, like, how much longer that can be kept up.

Well there is there is a great post this morning I saw from one of these guys who was just like again once again commented on like yet another leak of a private chat where someone was talking about putting Jews and ovens or something and he was just like I give the same advice at all like young career counseling sessions, the young conservatives, like just try to stay out of the group chats that are edge-lord and you might end up saying some things that you really, you know, don't put anything in the email, you don't want your mom reading, but he was just like, I give this advice all the time. And you know what, I think it was at Oceeta,

put it this out, that's actually bad advice for young Republicans, because what you're saying basically is like, you can't network. You can't get any right texting with Mitt Romney. There's no one else for you to talk to you. I believe that guy actually used, like he was like, I tell people to stay out of chats where they use the N word.

Like this is the sort of thing where, it's enough of an issue that, you know, but if you're doing like an informational interview for 30 minutes with like the, whatever, Vlad Druckwool fellow of that year at the Claremont Institute and he's like a couple questions about using the N word and conversations with my friends and I'm like oh yeah great this is good. Good thing I have a little sheet here prepared for this. I'll tell you what I tell. I don't have to say anything. Everybody that asks me about using the N word

with their friends. I do agree though it's bad advice because how are you going to get to network? How are you gonna get anyone to trust you? Because like saying the end word in these chats is the equivalent of how undercover cops have to do drugs in front of people to show that they're cool. You gotta snort that man or else you can't come in. Yeah, if you're not based,

they probably think you're wearing a wire or something. And of course they are because every single one of these people would sell out their fucking mothers at the drop of a hat. And invariably do. That's the part that I love about us. Like, sort of a nice little grace note to all of it is that movement of whatever. You know, there are like the 75 year olds are not FBI informants. Everybody younger than that.

Everybody that is not a base for public invoder is an informant for the feds. Like they are informing on their homies nonstop. And I think it keeps them on edge. It's good. It's like kind of like, what if you could just live the helicopters seen from good fellows for like 25 years?

So. So. Back to New York magazine though, Ron DeSantis is crimes against etiquette extend further than just the bizarre, his bizarre eating habits. Listen to this, he didn't learn the names of his staffers. Several key trope allies and aides used to be close to DeSantis and are now fueled by their intense hatred of the governor according to Rolling Stone.

A source who flipped from team DeSantis to to team Trump told the magazine, the nature of the conversations among people who used to work for Ron is just so frequently, okay, how can we destroy this guy? It's not at all at a level that is normal for people who hold usual grudges against horrible bosses. It's pure hatred that is much, much, much purer than that. People who are traveling with Ron every day, who worked with him very closely over the years, to this day, joke about how it was always an open question whether Ron knew their names.

And that's just the start of it. Isn't that really a departure though? The question I have is, because it's a widely understood, that Casey, Casey DeSantis, is sort of the gray eminence of the campaign. She's the millenniumic bath kind of pushing him forward, which means that she had to, you know, meet this guy and then think, this is the horse that I'm going to ride at the White House.

And what the hell did she see in him? What she has the thailand test? Yeah, thailand test is for him. But like, she was obviously also auditioning him to be a vessel for her ambition. What the hell was because I get my Hillary Clinton, like when she met young Bill was like, okay, this guy is going to cheat on me every day of my life, but that's fine because he's a fucking molten wad of charisma. But he's going to the top. Yeah, people like watching him talk. Right. What you've got with Dessert basically is some pretty good college baseball stats.

And that's Yale's a D1 program. It's not nothing, like he wasn't a draft prospect, but it's the sort of thing. So basically she was like, I met a version of the small college version of Dougman Kavitch, and I can make him a leader or a sketch. I think that's what I want. She thought she had something to work with and it just like nope

It's it's like she was assuming that there would be certain growth and it just never happened Or it happened in the wrong way. It's like how Haley Joel Osmitz head grew but his face stayed the same size Tell me about it. I see it every time I look in the fucking mirror No, you are If they got in there with the pro tools or whatever and put things where they're supposed to be. Pinch and then pull out to pull out. With Kasey, I think she was given the Thayland test, but like she, she instantly recognized it and thought, here is a grim Machiavellian playdog who is, you know, a ranging chess pieces to ascend

by, you know, by shit testing every potential date to just be like, are they the type of woman who would be amused by a hilarious mispronunciation of a very commonly known name of a country? Or does she respect men enough to let me slide with the most obvious malaprop, the most like just sip of grade, do in a bit. This is the part of it that's actually fun there too, is that so yeah, she's obviously very ambitious. So is he? The fact that they are both stupid is what makes this sing. It's the idea of like him trying this dumb trick and then her observing it, thinking to yourself. I see your game and being just as dumb as him But meeting him at that level and looking him straight in the eye. She goes ah, thailand

This gentleman will be getting into my phabina later tonight Further rondis antiscrimes against at a good he failed to send get well wishes a florida republican rep uh... told political that while trump was the first person to call him after a january tree trimming incident landed in the i see you this day i have not heard from governor to sent this and you know what like this is separates the week from the chat this trump obviously has nothing but contempt in hatred for every other human being on the planet,

but he knows how to extend the glad hand. Yeah. He knows how to get that personalized little, yeah. What do you know? Every person he knows about this asshole getting hurt trimming their Christmas tree. Like people he was just meeting for the first time, he'd be like, you know, do you do do do do do do

know what happened to him? And like just going off about what it, but he knew enough to call the guy. That is, I think also Trump loves talking on the phone, which is probably something that's not. Yeah, Santos. He's a chemist there. Yeah, as a, like, to say this is basically

the most elderly millennial you can be, right? Yeah. He's a basically my- Original generation. Right, yep. So like that is, like being on the phone to him is something that he's probably like grown out of disliking. Whereas I think that's like just torture.

Yeah, but Trump's got the one with like the phone that has like the pig tail cord on it. He's on that like eight hours. He's lying on his stomach, kicking his feet in the air. Yeah, yeah, bye, bye birdie style. Yeah, because he was on a generation where oh my god, I could just pick this up and talk to anyone, the world is in my fingertips. And not just like this device is a torture. Yeah, he meant in my pocket that torments me every day of my life.

Right. That's how I feel. He's still blown away by the fact that you don't have to talk to an operator and say, like, can I talk to a sedgewik 700 Klondike 555? Yeah. It's so nice. I get to talk without worrying that Midge is listening in. five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five New York Times reports that when her father died in a car accident in 2022, Trump's Center Rickendolans letter signed Donald while the letter from the Descentus campaign was only signed by the governor's wife, Casey.

So there we go, Casey, you know, ladies, you know, I mean, you got to take care of your husband better than that. You know, you got to get him to sign the card because everybody knows everybody knows that it was just shoved in front of you and you're like, well, yeah, okay, signed this, who's this, whatever. But it's a thought that counts. I always thought that that was like mostly what being governor was, was like signing letters to people

or like appearing at things and acting human ask for five minutes and then leaving. Like, he made the, this is where he fucked up, I think he actually tried to like do stuff. He was like working nonstop in the war room, trying to shove it up Disney's ass when he should have been signing a letter to Anna Polina Luna's mom. Yeah, exactly.

He was, yeah, he was, he was in a big like a big screening room and like all the pretty, there was cigars previewing the next three minute trigger you clip that will be the high school Florida historical curriculum for the next 20 years. We have the daily is from Kid Rock's next TikTok server. Do you want to see those? He's got a little half glasses on just pouring over it. Yep. Laughing like DeNiro and Cape Fear as he just helplessly machine guns a stack of bud lights.

DeNiro and Cape Fear as he just helped with Lee Machine guns stack of bloodlights. And finally, in addition to having a weird laugh and never saying thank you, he had a recent cancer survivor fired. He says, this one isn't really an etiquette breach. It's just monstrous. Five former staffers told Politico at the beginning of his administration, DeSantis directed the Florida Republican Party leader to fire a party official who had cancer on that person's first week back from surgery. I don't know. I mean, we don't know. Maybe this person was an asshole. They are a Florida couple. They were not getting the chart. Yeah, this is the always the thing with these stories.

Beyond the fact that everybody's keen to fucking flip on each other all the time. At some point, I remember hearing you all talk about this, where you find yourself feeling sympathy for the people that have like Stephen Crowder's gofer. Like, I'm sorry he had to see Stephen Crowder's dick so many times, like that sucks. I don't think he wanted that. But you don't have to,

there's a lot of other jobs that you could do. Yeah. Yeah, you gotta imagine that he's just like, you see the dick for the 400th time that Danny's just like, it's about the work, remember. It's about what we put out every day. Yeah, like, you got to separate the artist from the art. The guy that's constantly like coming up,

like just pitching in every podcast, he's like, what if I did the Buffalo Bill dance from Silence of the Lams, would that be good? If I did that. You think we could be like, would you fuck me type bit for this? You have to care about the podcast a lot to deal with hearing that every day. Look, if I walk out the store today, they will not see him, uh, Steven dressed up in a super girl outfit and trying to suck his own dick.

And then we'll always look. It's about, it's about China. They're trying to take over America. And that's why Steven has to dress like Shanghai Lil in a BuzzFeed Berkeley style musical number. All these guys being thwarted like showbiz people, I know is not in your observation. The fact that they're also also high school theater weirdos, like a lot of them, because I know that was the dude James,

whatever the project director is, House guy. Yes, he spent thousands of dollars on musical numbers to record and put out to know what. Right, this is what the donors want to see. It's just a full, like it's, it's the, just the music man. And I'm the lead in it. But there's no twist.

It's just the original score. I love the musical. I think it's great. And that's what he did. I think, I don't know. I mean, like some ways I salute him. It's like when you hear about like the other Coke brothers and they're like, yeah, it's like a realistic western

whorehouse on his ranch. You're like, well, that's, God bless the peop. That could be worse. He's not trying to, definitely overturn gay marriage. Yeah, he's not, he's not like a lobbying to like deregulate, like, can we pour poison in an aquifer? Like, yes, no, he just wants to be around card sharps

and cumley horrors. Yeah, right. If we are serious about de-radicalizing the right, there would be some sort of program to just create a second Broadway in Branson, Missouri. You know, not the chinchee one that they have because they don't want that, that going there just makes them feel how,

excuse me, no, an exact replica of Broadway. The same beautiful, the theaters, the same size, you subsidize it. So everyone, their, every performance is packed. And then all these guys would just drop politics and just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, existence of white way. To say to Trump, hey, Trump, you could be in charge of Broadway too. You have to program the whole season of Broadway too. He could not turn that down. Yeah. I think he told me he told me he was doing a show called Phantom of the Opera. And I said, wow, wow. That's one of my favorite Trump bits too, because that story, I think that's what it would actually be like to talk to him.

That story has no payoff. Like it is basically like, Andrew Lloyd-Weber called me one time. Can you believe this? And the year I said, I was gonna do a show that he ended up doing. Yeah. So that was, I was probably one of the first,

I don't know, 100,000 people to know that he was doing cats. I guess that's the thing you want to brag about, you can do it. I do think you're right though, that it would have to be programming. You could offer Trump a Vegas residency and he would take it and he'd be glad to have it. But I think what he really wants is to be able to book

all the shows and audition chorus girls and do the whole like semi-srosstian, having them on the scale, telling them, like, lose 10 pounds on it. Yeah. Yeah. You know, Matt, like, we've sort of like, or a group this idea before, but like a comprehensive de-radicalization program would involve, yeah, like just letting these guys be actors and

comedians. And then like, having this weird, like, sort of state-backed like success program where they can be like, yeah, like you've sold out this arena for your stand-up comedy or like your movie successful, but like just in this kind of totally parallel sort of like like a like a new deal like public arts program, but for the least talented people on the planet. Right, like a WPA for everyone that works with Ben Shapiro, where they just get to go and do whatever, like the exact opposite of waiting for lefty is, you get to produce that, you get to write it,

you can cast it, like Scott Beo will do it, like will pay his quote, whatever that is, he will play the lead in that. It's a pretty solid idea, actually. And the best part is, is that because it would be all, of course, have to be subsidized, it doesn't ever have to be transmitted anywhere. Like, it can just be fully contained. And they'll all be happy in their little matrix bubble.

They say they don't want to be in the matrix, but let's let if they all got to be Joe Panliano got to be the actor that they want to be with the juicy steak. I don't think they'd mind. Yeah. Let him try the steak first. Maybe they'll like it. Yeah. Because he lived in the building, a truck tower.

He knew me a little bit. And he said, I'd love to have you as my guest. I'm opening up a musical called The Phantom of the Opera. And I said, oh, so let's go. So I say you're on the letter. Okay, I'll go. And anyway, we went. And it opens with the sheer say you're on the letter. OK, I'll go. And anyway, we went and it opens with the chandelier. And then this you've been there, right?

Yes, it is. You were in the first time I saw it. I saw it, when the show was rock, but the whole thing was. The whole thing was. It was a great, great musical. Like, I'll only tend to be actually connected. But I'm wondering, did you guys see RFK Jr. complaining about not getting a secret service protection

for his campaign? And like, people may know the tweet because it had the numbers 14 and 88 very close to each other. And look, I'm not going to speculate on that because as soon as you do, like someone has won, someone has gotten, someone has gotten over on you, right? That's exactly. When you're trying to crack the code. Yeah.

It's kind of, it's like implicating just to notice it. Just feel bad. Yeah. But leaving that aside, I would just like to bring up the idea of like, why does this guy want the secret service protecting it? You think if I was like RFK Jr. I would have. That's true. They got a bad track record with the family. Yeah. Like, like Ted Kennedy was their most successful presidential campaign, you know? Like, you know, like I would just have private security. I would just be like a secret service, you can keep it. You're like, we don't, we don't need you because like, chances are there are probably in on both. Imagine we could get to like Steven Segal, probably like every third

in MMA guy. Like the like most intense, like high volume Peloton users in all of the United States, like just weird, scary, very thin ladies. I think that's like kind of his base. Like of the people that I knew that were anti-facts and genuine assets. He needs like a Praetorian guard of Ashley Babbitts and they will cross fit ladies and then

yes and like Steven Segal over and over and over and over and over. And one of those ladies is way more willing to get a bullet for him than any secret service age. Yeah. I mean, the 1488 thing too was like, I guess it, whatever, you don't necessarily want to talk about it, but it was another one of those things where it was kind of, I don't think that he's got a shot. I don't think he'll like hang around the public consciousness

for much after the summer, even really. He's just trying to find anything to talk about. Yeah. Right. Like he's too weird. He's not like a compelling, you know, speaker even in terms of like, you know, you worry about some ways about like, but the idea that like, even that he had to do the

disantist thing where he's like, like calling to the bullpen for a grouper to come in and do a post like that. Like to me, that's like a moment where you can take a deep breath. We're like, well, this is what they do, like right before they completely crap out. Well, as long as we're talking about things,

you know, sort of from the paranoid franches, my other favorite news story of the last couple of weeks, are you guys familiar with the new Obama conspiracy theory? Featley. The guy that said he killed that he killed himself. His personal chef just died. Oh, I'm just talking about the guy that came forward and said he blew Obama back in like 19.

Oh, that's an old, that's an old, that's an old Obama conspiracy theory. We talked about that last week, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's classic. It's gold. Larry Sinclair, it was Larry Sinclair. Just bringing him back. It's a friend started resurfacing the video. And so I was kind of like, oh, is this new? Because he's talking to the next. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say whatever,

the 10,000 mules guy. So, oh, yeah, the one that he killed is chef. However many mules, he killed a chef. Yeah. He killed a chef. So I mean, like like this is just like NBC news here. It says here. His name was a Tafiri Campbell 45. He drowned a paddle boarding near the Baroque and Michelle's home in fucking Martha's Vineyard. Martha's Vineyard. Says, um, right wing figures cast doubt without evidence on the police statement and found a home for their views on the website X The new name for Twitter after must be branded at Sunday a post in which Ian Miles Chong and online pundit asked followers what they thought really happened got 5.6 million views on X It posts from the account the libous of tiktok account noted that the pond is eight feet deep where Campbell was found and that he had posted swimming videos on instagram facts other people said on their flies indicated that he was killed

the post had more than fourteen point five million views the influential right wing account cat turned to with one point eight million followers said he did not believe anything the government or media said about the death i won't believe a word of it cat to catTurk to wrote. Why would they start telling the truth now? So, once again, like all Obama conspiracy theories, I want to believe. I want to believe. So what do we think? I mean, like actually I saw a funny post the other day where someone was listing all the

personal chefs of celebrities who have died or killed themselves. Yeah, and I was like, they know too much. So what would be the thing that the chef would know that he's like, like, seed oil, like I don't know, I can't keep this straight. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. with the blindfold, they got the chefs, and of course, they have to be the very best. They got the celebrity chefs back there with the blindfolds, like making canape as well they're doing the child sex. And then, you know, sometimes they peak and then, oh, you gotta kill them. Right, it's tough.

You can't, and I think honestly, in a lot of ways, I'm assuming that this is a past or a dervish scenario, it's not a good idea to have them be blindfolded. This is like, this is again terrible. And this is where I think Obama has really let people down time and again, like, sure, the is again terrible. And this is where I think Obama has really let people down time and again. Like, sure, the concept is fine. The execution is not there.

Yeah, he just, I mean, his house, honestly, on Martha's Vineyard is another example that if you've seen that place, it's like, ugh, come on. Is it, you had literally a limited resource? It's just, it's blah is what it is. It's just, it's, it's, it's, it's, could be a pottery barn.

It's got nothing. It's got no shoes. Did might as it's could be a pottery barn. It's got nothing. It's got no shoes. Did anybody say that the guy was killed because he was vaccinated? Like, did that come together today? Like the 5G reception made him too heavy and he drowned. Well, look, look, dying wall paddle boarding is like that's it. That's an eye drowning wall paddle boarding off more of this vineyard is like the ideal lib way to die. Yeah, yeah, as far as as far as the actual level. If that's how you die. Yeah, but that being said, if I could just speculate

for a for a moment here, I think one of two things could be possible. One, this was retaliation for preparing Obama's favorite dogs do without the proper ingredients. Or he was a colly. That's what we call spandial. We're entertaining. Any idea how stupid we're gonna look in for another podestas and these conceptual artists that we've invited. You sure by bygroom. What the

fuck is wrong with you? Kill this guy. You know, a broad of bitch can taste that. She knows. I guess my other easy joke is that he was going to blow the whistle on all of the butcher deliveries to the Marbama's Martha's Vineyard Estate. You come from the local pound. So have to go. You drowned in merely eight feet of water. But look, you can people drown in the bathtub.

You know, you drown in a puddle. Eight feet of water. It's like that's taller than a human being. That's the way you can. If you can't swim or you're having trouble swimming, you under eight feet of water, you can't stand and breathe. So it's not like they say like a puddle or something.

I don't get it. Yeah, and also some sound indictment. Yeah, like not to brag, but like I could for sure drown in a feet of water. Like I don't know that's nothing. Oh, you think I'll be to some sound indictment. Yeah, like not to brag, but like, I could for sure drown in e-feet of water. Like, I don't, that's nothing. No problem. You know, e-mails come up. If you don't want to write now, I'll drown in that shit. No problem.

Yeah, that's nothing. I thought when you were saying the e-mails strong thing that it was gonna be that he asked his followers where Martha's vineyard was. Okay. Or, or how about this? The Obama personal chef was actually, it was transgender, was a trans man having an affair with both Michelle and Barack who are also trans themselves and like you know,

was going to blow the whistle on the fact that every prominent figure in politics, media, entertainment are trans. That they are, they've been gender flipped at some point in their life. He was gonna blow the lid off that, had to go. I feel like it's early in the news cycle for that. I think you gotta give it another week. But I do think everything eventually pivots back to that. I've seen, I mean obviously it's like, I haven't seen them from people that are like,

check this out, I think you'll believe this too. But there was a bunch of that with like, this is the only way that like, once you get to that level and you can't be normal anymore, that that's, there's been like some discourse about that with the Barbie movie where they're like, Ryan Gosling's a girl, Margot Robbie's a boy. I don't know, what are you guys talking about? Like, can I be a part of this?

Like, it's very important to me that someone listened to what I'm saying. Which, I mean, I guess it's like, it is kind of darkly funny in its way, but that to me feels like the, like there's no way to sort of like, you can't clean the parts of a brain that are dirty when it's coming up with thoughts like that. Like you just have to throw it away. Wait. So you're rejecting the science of studying the chin to clavicle ratio of Margot Robbie to

just be absolutely certain that she was born a man. Yeah, I mean, a lot of people get the fact that she's very obviously an extremely hot woman and they don't notice how wide her shoulders are. You have to really be, you have to take a monastic approach to like watch like, yeah, if you're getting caught up, for instance, in a book of Wall Street sort of movie. Yeah, you keep thinking, wow, it would be amazing to have sex with her. That's what they want. That's what the Hollywood would want. Yeah. You know, like, I've been around a lot of these so-called beautiful female celebrities.

As soon as I noticed how close their index and middle finger was to each other, I was just like, nope, nope. I'm gone. I jumped out of my window at the Chateau Marmont. I was like, not today. John Goodman pulling the other Lebowski out of the chair at the end of it, like just creeping to walk. I do love the gender investigators because they basically like, I think it's just women

who are just hating on women who are broadly considered very hot. But like if the trick here is that every attractive person is actually the other gender, then what's the problem? It works, who cares? You have to say it's good enough. So I always wonder like, what do you, like if you're right, what happens? What do you do with that knowledge?

Like what do you do with that? Just flip the best actor and actress category in the Oscars. You're taking Hillary Duff to the hagg for having bigger arms. Is that like, what do you do? What's the recourse? I always left that with the obonglers especially because they'll be like, oh, Obama's gay as hell.

He's gay, but then they also say he's a woman and Michelle is actually a man, which means that they're a straight couple. It's, we're back to normal. We're literally a normal situation here. I think this is the thing that I think is always sort of, it's not like poignant, because the people suck or whatever.

But I remember reading for a story, like a couple of years ago, the story, there's like a big feature about Steve Carlton, the baseball pitcher after he retired, and he was living in like an earth ship in the desert, the high desert in Arizona. And this Pat Jordan went to talk to him. And like, Carleton was a cook when he was a player and then just got crazier and crazier and crazier. And he was, so he basically just did the download of every conspiracy theory, two Pat Jordan's tape recorder for over the download of every conspiracy theory to Pat Jordan's tape recorder for over the period of like three days and Jordan pointed out to him and you know like while they were reporting the story like being like

I don't know how these people like how are they aliens and Jews at the same time because like wouldn't have One or the other like I feel like you have to pick and the thing is just to believe it like that carbon was like I don't know man like whatever. I'm just saying shit like let me have fun just to believe it. Like that Carlton was like, I don't know, man, like whatever. I'm just saying shit. Like let me have fun. Which if they didn't, if they didn't demand a sanction for all of it, I'd be like, yeah, this is what it takes for you to like, enjoy news about Barack Obama. I guess you can believe whatever you want to believe. You know, like, yeah, as long as you're trying to sue him for it or whatever. Um, I just got one last story for today. I wanted to include this one for Matt's benefit

because it is a great demonstration of Wisconsin excellence. Matt, are you familiar with the GOP Congressman defends cursing out no good teens at the Capitol? I haven't heard this. You familiar with the story? No. There we go.

Representative Derek Van Orden of Wisconsin didn't get to Congress by being a timid guy. After using campaign funds to travel to the stop the steel rally, the Republican was seen in a restricted area on the Capitol grounds on January 6. After carrying a loaded handgun in his carry on at the Iowa airport, he ran his successful campaign for the House under probation. In that light, the controversy surrounding him this week shouldn't come as a total surprise. In the wee hours of Thursday morning, a group of teenage Senate pages were resting on the ground in the Capitol Rotunda,

which is a regular occurrence when a session goes late. When Van Orden walked by, he went full get off my lawnmode. Wake the fuck up, you little shit, he said, according to one of the pages we spoke to the Hill, what the fuck are you all doing? Get the fuck out of here. You were defiling the space you pieces of shit. Van Orden asked, who the fuck are you? When a teenager said they were pages,

he said, I don't give a fuck who you are. Get out. According to Punchball News, which broke the story, Van Orden was drinking in his office prior to berating the teens. A spokesperson for Van Orden said he was hosting one of his regular beer and cheese stores for constituents. As refused to spack down, speaking with the Milwaukee

journal Sentinel, he noted that the Capitol Rotunda served as a field hospital during the Civil War and that threatening a congressman with bad press to excuse poor behavior is a reminder of everything that's wrong in Washington. That's so true. Did you look? I so I didn't know what Derek Van Orden looked like. Did you look him up? No, I'm imagining. I so I imagined basically James Sensenbrenner that there's like a level of

like the level of Wisconsin that you get to right or you die. He is really not a he's not. He looks at the Brenner. No, he looks like an evil James Cameron. Like he's not, he's not. He was a, no, he looks like an evil James Cameron. Like, he's got the, he's got the fucking like cool glasses. You got the cool like Rayban, the spec. Well, he was a seal. He was, he was an opera.

He was one of the former operator, politicians we have to deal with now. Is there an operator? He's just getting drugs. Yeah, there's, there's, at this point, they absolutely could be an operator caucus. Nice. People that have canoeed somebody whose face appeared

on like a trading card now get to represent. That's great. Well, he's gonna canoe these fucking paces, they don't stop being around the capital. I mean, I also like this guy, this guy literally did January 6th, and he's getting mad at some like people who work there, being there for their job.

That's cool. Like this was a field hospital 170 years ago, which was actually like 168 years before I came in here with the little grandma lady holding the American flag. Like 300 proud boys. That little grandmother's being executed by the way because of because of Donald Trump, because she believed in him. What do you know about the area that he represents, Matt? So he represents the, the Western Wisconsin, the area, the, the, the bottom half of the area of bordering the Mississippi River and, uh, the, part of the driftless area, which traditionally had been like a relatively democratic place and has sort of drifted right over until very recently it was represented

by Ron Kind who was like kind of a really maca in the Senate. Yeah. Yeah. And now though, this fucking gemocus in there, this absolute clown man. So that's changing the culture. Absolutely. We got Ron Johnson in the Senate. We got this guy, real Bozo Brigade in Wisconsin.

Should people just like watching Bobby Knight's greatest freakouts, 10 hour super cut videos on YouTube, he gets psyched up to go to work, got to respect that. Shout out to the three lakes, the vicinity of Wisconsin. All my four-day July friends from three lakes, Wisconsin. All right, let's put a pin in it for today. Reminder once again, we'll be in Canada in August, 17th and 19th, Toronto and Montreal. We are coming through tickets available at choppeautrappows.com slash live

Love to see you there. Thanks again to David Roth for feeling in for Felix today David if people would like more Roth in their life where should they go to defector.com That's the website I work at and I do a podcast there through McGarry called the distraction But yeah, if you want to read the stuff defector is it and there's other people that are better writers in me So you didn't try it. But thanks for having me. What's it got though? Shohei Otoni, like this is ridiculous. This is, this is a source.

He's doing this is like this is the coolest baseball player of my lifetime. And I wish I had a cooler angle. This is the best that any athlete has ever been at their sport ever. They've got like, what do you say? There's something I don't even say about it. It's like cartoon, ridiculous.

There's fan cams of him, like the way that people make them for like K-pop musicians. Like that is not a thing that happens to baseball players. No one's doing that for like JT Real Muto. Like he is really a level of cool that baseball has never experienced before, which I think is going to lead to a really annoying backlash against him.

Once he gets on a good team, I think that there's gonna be a lot of people that try to sort of munch a bit of clout by talking about how he isn't. Cool. Whatever. That's not the lot. Being in ace pitcher and top hitter.

Yeah. Put a 10 on that. That makes this game. It's easy. Yeah. The pitch better for last week. That was a one hit shut out and then he knocks two home runs in the next game less than an hour later.

So, get the fuck out of here. It's too much. It hit 40 home runs by the damn trade deadline. He'll see it's funny that the angel, like he is doing the thing that Mike Trout had never been able to do, which is make the angels do a real job of trying to make the playoffs. But they had never really committed to that. But at this point, I think they know that there's like, they would actually have angered enough people in the country that people would start noticing them in getting mad. I might take the fuck it team away from uh already marino all-time bozo. Yeah I

love the heat like they should get off there and go to a good team thank god he commissioned some guys to like see explore selling the team and then they presumably were like it would make you five billion dollars sir and he's like I don't think I'm gonna do that. I don't really want to do that. I'd rather everyone yell at me all the time. Yep. I'd rather be able to text Anthony Rendon anytime day or night. That's important. All right, leave it there for today. Thanks again to David Roth. We will talk again soon everybody. Bye bye bye thanks guys bye Rip up my dick on the triple try Rip up my bones Cause my mouth is so strong now the pain So bad that my mother fucking heart is on