Chapo Trap House - 765 Teaser - Two Tool Dick

Episode Date: September 8, 2023

We’re joined by @ettingermentum to discuss Ron DeSantis’s prodigious dick riding skills, and how he compares unfavorably to America’s other Dick-Rider-In-Chief, LBJ. Subscribe today for access to the full episode and all premium episodes! www.patreon.com/chapotraphouse

So like we all know how 2016 turned out and I think yeah You have a very good like paragraph here about like you said Donald Trump's victory in the 2016 presidential election completely transformed the Republican party Over the course of a single night all the power held by a thousand bickering factions and local power brokers was subsumed into a single man Disputes over ideology policy commitment commitment to the cause, whatever. They were now rendered all as irrelevant as the great man has shown them to be. After years of watching their party seemingly lose and betray them time and time again, conservatives now had a winner, someone who spoke about treated and beat their hated enemies in a way nobody else did.

It was electric. To this day they are willing to, and essentially have followed Donald Trump into the depths of hell for giving them this. So now it's Trump's era. How does Ron DeSantis see himself in that? And how does he set himself up to run for governor, which was he was successful in doing? Yeah, well, with the governor thing,

that was an open seat, and it was always gonna be his best shot. I think that was like his intention. And that was the one thing DeSantis did that was actually good. It's just like kind of shows. I think it was him following his instinct as a right wing authoritarian nerd in that moment. But in that time, the right was so unified that like all the energy you could put in towards impressing that was basically the energy you put towards doing anything as a Republican politician, just getting Trump's endorsement. And this is like, I can't even really call it clever because they were all trying to do

it, but he was able to suck up the Trump like nobody else could. And it's really funny to see how Trump kind of like describes it in retrospect. Like he says, like really what people point out is a critical moment where he does get Trump's kind of quasi endorsement for the first time is they were on a plane together going to a rally in South Florida for Roy Moore in 2017, which yeah. And so this is that's a back trophy to keep in mind here. And the way Trump has said it, DeSantis goes up to him and he asks him if he wants to be in, like, if he can endorse him. And Trump says that he told the Santa's he was allowed as he candidate and that the Santa started crying. And then

he said that he couldn't, the Santa's going to even wait if George Washington or Abraham Lincoln came back from the dead and started campaigning for him. And then he endorsed him like two weeks later. I mean we say he doesn't have any political talents. He has one. He is very good at sucking up. Yes, he's a, he has that, he has that nerds instinct like, oh, who's who's the big man I can't I've got sucked up to them. But the problem with that is that it's very hard if you're one of those guys to run as the guy people are supposed to suck up to because if you're, if that's what you do, that's your native instinct. It's just, you got the stink on you. Yeah.

You can't be the guy if you are always trying to find who the guy is. Yeah. You can't run as Ron DeSantis when that's, he's never, he's never won as himself outside of the 2012 race. It's the only race out of all the ones that I've tracked where I can definitively say, yeah, that was him like actually winning a Zerondas Santos. And he was running against school board members. It was total nonsense. It was anybody could have done that. Yeah. Um, another LBJ comparison. LBJ was a prodigious uh, suck upper. He was,

he could dick right like five guys. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. Sam Rayburn, Richard Russell, he cried him at once. That's for sure. Oh, yeah. He was like a terminator. He'd roll into the, the capital and he would just like look for lonely old closet cases from the South. Yeah. Yeah. So I will be your kind of erotic son and go to more games with you. Yeah, that great. Reibern, Reibern was like a, uh, he was written like a closeted gay character in like a YA novel. Like easy enough that even a seventh grader could go, oh, he's gay. Yeah.

There's an awesome quote from Reibern where he's just like sitting with LBJ like a loan in a room. He's like, you know, I always wish I could have a son, a boy who I could look after. And he's just staring at him and it's like, come on, man. Yeah, I'm on. And LBJ was such a suck up that he had Rayburn over for dinner a lot. And one time, like he was, LBJ is one of the worst husbands in history. And Ladyburn made Turkey hash. And he was like, what the fuck?

He's the speaker of the house. He's stupid bitch. Turkey hash. And like flip the table over like terrible. Terror like just a horrible guy and a complete suck up. But he was able to like, decryd all these guys and then, you know, not like, take it and stride. And then years later, be like, all know, not like take it and stride and then years later be like, all right, now you have to dick ride me.

Like he was, he was, he had a two tool dick, which Rod DeSantis does not. Yeah, he was pulling on that record move, it's a reen, like action. That's how you understand politics. That's how you understand politics.