Chapo Trap House - 816 - Streampie feat. Charles Austin (3/18/24)

Episode Date: March 19, 2024

Episode 1 and Fortune Kit’s Charles stops by the show today to look at a few real life individuals who remind us of E1 characters, including the streamer Destiny, who we’ve all seen clips of getting yelled at by Norm Finkelstein last week. We also check in on New York’s bling bishop, the Stonetoss doxxing, South Dakota Governor Kirsti Noem, and some “new” edgy Christians who like boobs, beer, & swearin’. Finally, Charles brings us some updates from one of Fortune Kit’s favorite guys, the king of “what’s a song that’s made up of notes?” vapid twitter engagement prompts, Eric Alper. Find Episode 1 & Fortune Kit wherever you get podcasts. Find Charles’ band Solipse’s music: https://solipse.bandcamp.com/track/looking-glass And the music from E1, including from The Ballad of Brewer Grouse: https://episodeone.bandcamp.com/album/the-ballad-of-brewer-grouse

All I wanna do is help chocolate All I wanna do is help chocolate Greetings, everybody. It's Monday, March 18. And we've got some shop up coming at you. Felix and I are joined today by a good friend you may or know from such podcasts as Episode One and Fortune Kit or such bands as Solips. It's the man, he does it all. He's joining us from the stew right now. Charles Austin, how's it going? Can't complain, you know, to be here in the Trap House. You guys need to do that more often of like coming up as the Chapo challenge here in the

Trap House, like really lean into that, you know? Well, I said you can't join us in in our famous trap house. You're coming here from the stoop, but I'll be you know, I gotta I gotta address something right off the bat here. Oh, my god. So we got Charles Austin, the impresario of Pixar sodas. Right before we started recording. Charles, tell listeners, what beverage did you choose to get for yourself? Uh oh. I knew there was going to be controversy here. I've got a Waterloo Sparkling Water Blackberry Lemonade.

Wow. I don't believe in anything anymore, but just listeners, what do I got here? Yeah, that's right. Oh my God. The real deal. See, here's the thing. You can't mix business and pleasure, right? If my business is sodas,

then my pleasure has to be sparkling water. You can't use the stuff. It's like dealing drugs too. If you're a purveyor of this stuff, you can't touch it yourself, right? Never get thirsty on your own supply. Yeah, if I saw my kids drinking soda, I would send them to one of those wilderness programs

where guys who got kicked out of the Marines Sort of like yell molest them You know, I I was not a soda drinker until I paid 30 grand to do a Navy SEAL divorce guy Retreat weekend where I was abused for 48 hours by soda drinking warriors and now I have the masculine confidence Necessary to enjoy a diet soda every now and again. I love watching those videos because some of the stuff is taken from like Navy SEAL and like Marine stuff. And then other stuff like they just made up and I can't figure

out the utility of it. Like there, one where they all have to get into like a rubber-made tub full of water and then get out. It's like a Mario Party game or something. I don't think the SEALs do that. Like what part of training is that? What kind of operation do you go on where it's like, all right, we all need to get into the 30 individual rubber tubs. Navy SEALs have to stand on bumper balls and then knock each other off of a small little island and see who comes in first place. None of you fucking pussies are worthy of any respect until you all get in this phone

booth. I heard that the woke military won't let them call it a Chinese fire drill anymore, even though it's a really important part of SEAL training. So yeah, Charles, it's great to have you with us on the show today. And you were coming on Monday, so I'm like, what are some stories to fire the imagination? And I instantly realized that like, What are some stories to fire the imagination? And I instantly realized that two of the biggest internet and internet personality stories over the weekend just directly reminded me of a concept for an episode one episode. And the first of which, my personality that does strike me as very E1 adjacent, or at

least E1 character adjacent, is of the broader the broader world of news consumers and internet browsers was introduced last week to the personality known as destiny. Mr. Bonnell don't change the subject if you don't know what you're talking about. At least have the humility. How close about Chapter 6. You don't know Chapter 6. You don't know Chapter 6 from Tweet 5. You have no idea what you're talking about. It's just so embarrassing. At least have some humility. Between us, we've read maybe 10,000 books on the topic, and you've read two Wikipedia entries and you start talking about chapter six do you know what chapter seven is in his five-hour debate

with Norman Finkelstein about Israel Palestine now I was I only became aware of what destiny looked like a couple months ago but I only became aware of what he sounded like last week when the ankle scene was calling him go back to Wikipedia. You're a moron and an imbecile. But like I try like I was of the clips I saw of that debate and I say the clips I saw because I would rather saw off both of my feet right above the ankles than listen to more than five minutes of any debate. But that one in particular, I just, I don't know, like there's something about like the debate streamer type personality that seems very E1 worthy of me.

Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Well, with that clip in particular, it was like, obviously it was on my feed like 20 times. I'm like, I'm not watching it. I'm not watching it. Okay. I'll watch five seconds of it. And then you guys are like, Hey, do you want to talk about that? I'm like, fuck. Okay. I'm going to watch a whole bunch of this shit now. Like there's like a center of gravity around this type of thing that you just can't ignore at some point. And it just sucks that it works to destiny's advantage, right? And now I have to know what his like shrill voice sounds like, you know, like,

it only benefits him. Even if everyone is like hating on him, he still just benefits from it. It's like such a common internet thing at this point, but yeah, that, that sort of just is like the economy of streaming. Like you, you know, either by hook or by crook, you get everyone to pay attention to you. And it sort of like doesn't matter what it's about. Like the previous thing that I've seen him in the news for was like, he was in an open marriage and it ended really poorly,

which like, I don't know, having like any type of relationship litigated in public sounds like horrible. But if like, if your entire economy is based off that, he was probably like, this is great. He probably looked at that like car dealers look at, you know, back to school sales. Yeah.

Yeah. President's Day mattress sale here at Destiny. Yeah. It is funny. We're showing off what's left of my dignity. Like, eSports has worked out in a remarkably similar way to regular sports of by the time you're 29 or 30, you're washed, right?

Like you can't play StarCraft 2 anymore. So he's literally doing the same shit as Aaron Rogers you know like vice president Aaron Rogers it's the same shit like I did put ten dimes on Norman Finkelstein winning that debate and the bookie still won't pay out I keep saying destiny lost but unfortunately my bookie is a streamer fan he's a fan of streaming based debates and he won't pay out. And I'd like, I'd like some help from the federal government with that. I think it sucks too that like it's, it's so natural for every streamer to do this now that we have to hear from streamers again and again in the same way that we hear from

other pundits of like, I wish we could at least just get back to like Joe the plumber style shit of let's have one plumber pundit. Let's have one like guy who works in an aquarium who we have to hear from. They have just as insane of ideas as destiny does, right? But like, why don't we let them, why don't we get a fisherman in the spotlight for a little while, you know? I don't know.

I don't know if this is actually true or someone just like, they're making it up. But I did see, I saw a poster for his next debate, ostensibly with Sean King, which like, you know, I hope it's true. But like, I haven't seen it confirmed anywhere. That's a much more fitting matchup though. You know, like Sean King is just as willing

to jump on the story of the day and be like, guess what, I'm Muslim now. He commits harder than Destiny 2. Destiny's not Muslim. Well, he needs to convert to Judaism or like, guess what? I'm Muslim now. He commits harder than destiny too. Destiny's not Muslim. Well, he's not, he needs to convert to Judaism or something, you know? Right, right. He is, you know, despite his voice, his appearance,

the violent reaction a lot of you have to him, he is not a Jewish man. But I really enjoyed that Sean King, he converted to Islam, and within a day he was doing something called the Iftar Uncensored Tour. He's awesome. I don't see how people could get mad at him.

It's like getting mad at the Bluffs. It's also funny, like things like that now are titled like 90s standup comedy albums, like Menacher Unleashed or something, you know what I mean? Or even like the fucking University of Austin stuff you guys talked about with Alex, like the forbidden courses, you know? Actually, even Destiny is a good example of that.

Destiny is such a stupid guy handle. When I was thinking about him, I'm like, it's also kind of like a conscious rapper kind of thing, like common or something. You can easily be on track with common, you know? Yeah. No, I get all of my information on, you know, the moral political questions of the world from some guy whose name is like, yeah, like, you know, like, so it's the thing of like gamers who misspell like what they think are complicated words like evolution but the oh is a zero or something yeah yeah yeah gamers love gamers love like um gaslining themselves into thinking that they've discovered a great new

word so it's people younger than like me or destiny though uh Like if you see a 19 year old playing Valorant and they're any good at it, their name will probably be like Reminitions. Yeah. And you're like, what the fuck word is that? And it's not anything. It's nothing. Gamers who are our age or a little older have names like the cake is a liger. You know, yeah, yeah. Really annoying.

Like, you know, I'm a hardcore old school. I'm an old head internetiger, you know? Yeah, yeah. Really annoying, like, you know, I'm a hardcore old school, I'm an old head internet nerd, you know? And Charles, the other story that I thought just came out of an E1 episode that came from the internet this weekend is this one. Headline, neo-Nazi cartoonist stone tossed outed as white Latino with botched circumcision. I love this story.

When I saw he was white Latino, I got so excited. I thought that was so great. I imagined meeting Stone Toss's mom and me and her sitting at a table and she's like, conversations at these tables are real as fuck and I go what? And she goes what I love I love big and I go sure lady and then her gigantic fat son comes out and draws me with a yamaha on I Think maybe maybe a

Doctors who perform circumcisions need to think long and hard about their role in fomenting Nazism. You know, maybe if that hadn't happened to him. You know, well, I mean, honestly, like the post that people were sharing from him says, I am circumcised. The resulting dryness of my glands penis, the limited range of my penile skin to glide and the psychosexual body image dysmorphia makes it difficult to achieve orgasms Orgasm during coitus and encumbers masturbation look

I've been saying that this is a serious issue for years now and people don't want to fucking take me seriously but we've got to stop we got a we got to shut it down until we figure things out because you know like Someone could be like you never know you botch you botch one circumcision and then a guy you know 15 20 years later is doing submental cartoons about how the Holocaust never happened and I guess like the funny thing about Stone Toss is I've seen a lot of indignant replies from him and his fans claiming that he's not a neo-nazi and I guess the the entrance exam to become a neo-naazi gets more and more stringent because like I would think simply doing cartoons praising Adolf Hitler and denying that the Holocaust

ever occurred would be enough to get you in the club. But I guess the only thing is like the indignity about like him getting docs or whatever is like if these guys are so proud of everything they believe in and there's nothing wrong with it and it's just what normal people think like why do they try so hard to hide it? Or why do they try so hard to hide who they are? It's the same thing with like Chaya Reichach, right? Like she hates when anyone does anything to her that she does to them. Yeah.

It's a, to what you're saying about Stonetoss though, one of the great quotes from him that I came across was, you know, he has this long defense of not being a Nazi. He's like, no, I'm not a member of the National Socialist German Workers Party. He's like, I just enjoy edgy humor. Yeah. All real Nazis are from the Alsace-Lorraine region of France. Yeah. Actually, the very best thing though on his website, on his about page, he has a frequently asked question that he's obviously never been asked. I am offended by your comics. Are you a bad person? And the answer is that he does not think he's a bad person and he creates comics to entertain and cultivate

a more thoughtful and happier world. Well, I kind of like that answer. I don't like, you know, I've seen a lot of his strips. They have sort of like a Penny arcade vibe to them. Totally, yeah. Like the politics or whatever, you know, I don't like, you know, I've seen a lot of his strips. They have sort of like a Penny Arcade vibe to them. Totally, yeah. Like the politics or whatever, you know, I don't care. I'm not an editor of the politics. He's no Ben Garrison.

I'm just looking for my Penny Arcade fix in 2024. And if that's where I have to go, then I'm gonna go to Stone Toss, you know? Yeah, it has the same like beats and pacing of the Penny Arcade strip. But I do like that he sees himself as one of the world's smile makers. You guys are focusing on the answer?

I famously have called myself that. I'm more interested in the question. I love answering straw man questions on your website. Yeah. I was saying to Chris before, it's like the Simpsons when Lisa has to ask Mr. Burns, your campaign has all the momentum of a runaway freight train. Why are you so popular?

I think we should put an FAQ on our website. Like I'd like one for me that's like, you know, Felix, you undoubtedly would have been one of the greatest fighter pilots to ever live, had you enlisted, why didn't you? If you had enlisted, which battles would you have fought in across history? And I would say a botched circumcision

kept me out of the Air Force. Yeah. You know, the ejection seat on the F-35 doesn't work if you've been circumcised. It throws off your body's yaw again. There's some kind of catheter or something you have to attach to your dick when you get in there. Yeah, it's pretty cold up there. It could cause some shrinkage. But I don't know, like a stone

toss. Just draw better is what I would say to him. You know, you can get over the bots. You know, your bot circumcision wouldn't haunt you if you were a better artist. That's what I'd say to him. Because, you know, a lot of us have to deal with just setbacks in our lives. And, you know, we get better. OK, I just found another paragraph on Know Your Meme. That was another thing I wanted to bring up about him. He previously worked as a security guard for a soy company.

What? What? That doesn't sound very neo-Nazi of you. He was guarding the soy. Yeah, someone has to do it. He's got to get it. Yeah. He was guarding the soy. Yeah, someone has to do it.

I hope these mud people don't taint my soy that I'm giving to America's children. I do have to say, like, I couldn't tell if his circumcision was botched or he's just like, those are just like the normal. Yeah, right. That's what his like the normal. Yeah, right. That's what his quote sounds like. Yeah, right.

I do have to say, like, if your circumcision is legitimately botched, like if they fucked up, if you got someone in there who is like drunk or something and they just like cut off part, like the head of your cock, if you're anti-Semitic, I feel like you get a pass on that. Like, you know, one of the few, like one of the few conditions where it's like, I get it, you know, this shouldn't have happened to you. But if you're not Jewish, right. Right.

Right. But it doesn't sound like that's what happened. It, I feel like if, if the Jewish people had legitimately cut his dick off, either by accident or on purpose, that would be a more explicit theme in his works. Yeah, it's a tragic backstory that would have to come up at some point. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm there because I'm just going to go on a limb here. And I say that I'm just going to guess that there are maybe other complicating

health factors that lead to a difficulty maintaining an erection or achieving organ. It's all that exposure to soy day in and day out. It's just like, yeah, he's worked in the factory so long it seeped into his pores. Now he can't get his get his fucked up dick hard. I have to say I didn't like I would have never guessed what he looked like.

How he looks is incredible. I love it. He looks like one of the guys from that famous anime club picture. A big red from the anime club picture. So moving on from sort of internet based stories, I got, here's another news story. I saw this headline and it made me disassociate

because I feel like I had gone through some sort of time slip and I don't know where I am or what's going on. Headline, Hillary Clinton, Lin-Manuel Miranda team up on Broadway fundraiser for Biden. And I just like, I know it's for Biden, but like what fucking year is this? This is from the Hill. Hillary Clinton and Hamilton's Lin-Manuel Miranda are reportedly stepping into the

spotlight for President Biden's campaign hosting a Broadway themed fundraiser together. The April 3rd event will be held at a performance of SUF's The Musical, which Clinton is co-producing. The New York Times reported Thursday, representatives for Biden's reelection campaign and Miranda didn't immediately return ITK's request for comment. The Broadway musical, which opens next month, follows suffragettes in the years leading up to the 1920 passage of the 19th Amendment, which granted women the right to vote.

Former Secretary of State Clinton is a longtime Broadway super fan. In 2018, her political action organization, Onward Together, had a contest that awarded a winner a chance to join Clinton for a Broadway play and a Chardonnay. Goddamn. Okay, a number of things here, but the fact that Hillary Clinton is producing a musical called Suff, about the suffragette movement, is so good. Congratulations!

Your first pickle! But isn't bitch a bad thing? That's what they want you to think. I'm a great American bitch. I refuse to wear corsets and lace. I earn my own wages and burst into rages when men say no, you're a place. Suff. I hope there's a musical number where they all just saw like, Suff.

Suff said. I hope there's a musical number where they all just saw like, Suff, Suff, Suff. Suff said. So, but to your question about who is this for in 2024, I unfortunately learned that recently actually of, uh, I went to my dad's place, like, uh, maybe a week or two ago and they had like a hard bound Hamilton book. I don't know if it's like photos. I don't know what's in this book, but it's like some, you know, probably expensive merch they bought when my dad and stepmom went to see Hamilton in the last couple of weeks.

And they were like, it was amazing. And I was just like, oh, nice. Immediately let that conversation die. But that's who it's for is like 65 year old MSNBC liberals, but that's who's already in Biden's pocket. They're the most in his pocket of any group. So like, it's just hard to imagine that there's much to be gained by having Lin Manuel Miranda out there on the trail

You know spitting bars for Biden Bars for Biden. I mean, I hope there's some rapping in self the musical Oh, they're better. I like the idea of someone who like loves Lin-Manuel Miranda, but is is a Trump voter Do you think that person exists? Got it. Right. Gotta be at least exists? They've got to, right? There's gotta be at least one, there's gotta be at least a couple. Yeah, no, I mean, yeah,

in the great tapestry of America. So maybe it's for that guy. I just, I'm sorry, I get distracted trying to think of rap lyrics for Suffragette the Musical, and all I could come up with was if Cameron ghost-read it, and all I could come up with was the line, Elizabeth Cady Stanton hammers go Blanton.

Here's here's a here's a here's another story that's a follow up on a story that we reported on the show and by reported I mean read a news article about when it happened. This is a local story for me here in Brooklyn. The bling bishop who boasted of ties to Eric Adams is convicted of fraud. Now I know some of you might be shocked to hear that the bling bishop has just been convicted of defrauding one of his parishioners out of $90,000 in life savings, but believe me it's true. Says here, Lamar Whitehead, Brooklyn preacher known as the bling bishop for his flashy luxury possessions, was convicted in Manhattan federal court on Monday of defrauding a parishioner and trying

to extort a businessman while boasting about his ties to Mayor Eric Adams. The government said that Mr. Whitehead had persuaded a parishioner, Pauline Anderson, to invest about $90,000 of her retirement savings with him and then had spent the money on car payments and goods from Louis Vuitton and Footlocker. I was really blown away by this guy. When I saw him and saw what his entire thing is, I thought, this is like somebody that Dolomite fights. What's he doing in the real world? I mean, I have to say, from my vantage point in Chicago, I'm kind of jealous of

New York right now, because here we like, a very competent governor who sort of is a pragmatist and knows what he's doing. And as a mayor, we have someone who's certainly better than all the other viable alternatives. And there's a certain level of competence in government that's not very exciting, right? And then you see Eric Adams just going crazy over there. And I just miss having so much fun. Like Chicago is supposed to be wild and corrupt and all this. Where are our guys like Eric Adams and his pals, you know? Laurie Leifert, the nation turns its lonely eyes to you. Yeah. Now I remember, like we first covered the bling bishop

because he got robbed of like several hundred thousand dollars worth of jewelry at gunpoint, like while he was on the pulpit on Sunday, like in a broadcast that was live streamed on his website. And it sort of like raised my eyebrow at the time because like, I don't think many armed robbers would like commit a felony with that many witnesses, you know, like with a church full of people on a live streaming broadcast. And the whole thing's smack of insurance fraud to me that like he set these guys up and they'd be like, yeah, come rob me on my live stream. We'll get lots of views.

And then I'm going to hit the insurance company up for the with the value of the jewels that you then give you sell back to me or whatever. You think we could pull that off with like a Chapo stream of some kind? Absolutely. Especially if we talk about it now. Just establish that the one thing I would never do on a live show or live stream or anything like that is engage in insurance fraud of any sort.

So I wanna get that on the record. Yeah, but with that being said, you did just buy this collection of Fabergé eggs and it would be awful if something happened to them. They're newly insured and displayed in your window. Yeah, the Van Gogh that I have on the wall of my apartment next to the litter box, That's real That's not a duplicate. Well, I'm just I just won Rasputin's cock in an auction Take it on stage with me during this live show because I just got it

I sure hope no one robs me of it Do you think we could graft it onto stone toss and it would fix all his circumcision issues? Would that change his politics? That would be amazing. You know, 100 years later, dispute is still solving problems. Going on in the article, it says here, in the defense's closing arguments,

Declan Murray, one of Mr. Whitehead's lawyers, linked the criminal case to buying a house. He charged that the government's case, the house in this analogy, was riddled with termites. Ms. Anderson, 58, had sobbed as she described how she first met Mr. Whitehead and came to give him $90,000 of her retirement savings and trusted him to buy her a house. She said she could not get a conventional loan because of low credit. He was a man of God, she said. I believed him as the leader of the church. But when her new home never materialized, she texted him asking for her money back and he berated her that he was busy.

Mr. Whitehead served as the only witness in his defense. Wearing a pink plaid three-piece suit, he delved into his life story saying he'd grown up on the rough side of Brooklyn and that his father, Arthur Miller, playwright, find the crucible, was killed when he was an infant. But you know, he dated Marilyn Monroe, so who can say. Mr. Miller was killed by the police in Crown Heights in 1978 leading to protests, but his daughter has questioned whether Mr. Whitehead is actually her half brother. Mr. Murray shot back that Mr. Whitehead had only said he could get a meeting

with Mr. Adams faster than most people. And that statement he contended was true. But prosecutors showed messages from Mr. Whitehead to Mr. Adams in early 2022 that went unanswered. So another New York City luminary is brought down by the long arm of the law. You hate to see it. This guy did like an Instagram live video where he's just driving around Brooklyn listening to Jay-Z. And I was like, this guy is going to be in prison within the next year. This story kind of reminds me of I'm gonna put Felix on the

spot here is something you posted Felix about those like four like 10 year old kids wrapping a bank. You're awesome. I a lot of people are trying to rain on the parade. And they were you parade and they were going like, oh, actually it's really easy to rob a bank because they can't fight back because of insurance reasons. Well, like, okay.

You do it then. Yeah, how come you aren't doing it? And yeah, most 12 year olds are too nervous to even write a note in nice handwriting, hand it to the teller, wait patiently. They did all of that. That was incredible. I was saying that those kids should get an internship with Lee Murray, the owner of the

greatest bank heist of all time, former UFC fighter Lee Murray. But unfortunately, there is no internship program for bank robbers. Yeah. It's like when people see baby Gronk on TikTok and he's like 10 years old and he's the next big tight end, they're nurturing that talent, right? So how come bank robbers don't get the same courtesy? Yeah. We need like a DB Cooper scholarship fund for aspiring bank robbers and highway men. Yeah.

With with baby Gronk, I feel like if you can even tell, you know, if a 12 year old is good or bad at football, you're a pedophile. What is the thing? They all like they all their children, like they all probably move the same. I just don't, yeah, I don't get it. That actually reminded me something that I wanted to bring up about Destiny

is that when I read his Wikipedia, it turns out he's also the kind of debater who loves to talk about like, you know, morally you got to say it's okay for a 19 year old to fuck a 16 year old, you know, morally that's okay and you got to admit that. Before for a 19 year old to fuck a 16 year old. You know, morally that's okay. And you got to admit that. Before October 7th, that did seem to be like the majority of the things Destiny debated was like, is revenge porn okay?

I love that kind of shit though, because it's like actual 16 year olds, when they talk about this shit, it's just like, oh damn, he's dating Jenny Kaminsky, but she's a senior. Like that's the extent of how those conversations happen among the people they actually affect, right? As a 35 year old man, it's so funny to insert yourself in that conversation. Yeah, like I had known of him as like a politics streamer, but he did like, I don't know what happened. He started being on like Adam 22 show and that like fresh and fit show.

And it was like very strange to watch. He, his hair was dyed blue during that period too. I don't know if the two things were connected, but it was one of the most interesting rebrands I've ever seen. He, like before that, if I'm not mistaken, he would like, you know, he'd do like NIMBY versus YIMBY, that type of thing. Yeah, yeah.

And then he's on Adam 22, and he's, you know, it's like, can you have a threesome if your swag is different? Oh, actually, speaking of streamers, did you see the other thing last week about how that Aiden Ross guy got Andrew Tate arrested because he shared on his livestream his plans to flee the jurisdiction of Romania? No, that's awesome.

That's so cool. He was like, yeah, yo, he's like, I just got a text from Andrew Tate and he's saying like, yeah, yeah, homie, gonna be in London, probably for the foreseeable future, never going back to Romania as I flee the charges currently fending on him against me. And then the Romanian police arrested him like an hour later. Well, to be fair, I sympathize

because we just revealed our plans to commit insurance fraud with all your valuable possessions. Who are we to judge? Felix, I think you know this guy. Who is this Aidan Ross guy? I'm not really familiar with him. Talk about, you know, it's surprising that someone's Jewish. I thought, okay, his name's Aiden.

He seems like, I say this in the nicest possible way, seems like sort of subverbal, but he is a Jewish man. I could not believe that. I feel like it's really important for like stupid 19 year olds named Aidan to also be Jewish, to dispel the bottom line. But, um, he, um, he got to start playing like two K and his thing was for a while

is he would like do streams with rappers and he would like pretend to be gay. And the rappers would go, ew, gross. Shut up. Yeah. And then he got really big off of that. I didn't do it. Boy, David is better than ever. But it just seems to me like it's the thing is like, whether it's it's destiny or this guy it's just like you said at the beginning, it's like, the whole Mr. Beast thing now where he's like, no, I don't have a personality. Personality hinders brand growth.

It just seems to me like, once you are out there that much, it doesn't really matter. There is no limit to your own debasement as long as people are talking about you and paying attention to you. Like you're winning. And, you know, like that's entertainment, baby. That's show business. I mean, now we're just going so far off in the territory of streamers and further from politics. But I know it's like streaming is politics.

That's true. Yeah. Felix, did you see Adam 22 when the picture of Drake's dick leaked and Aiden Ross was talking about it on stream and Adam 22 had some of the most pathetic tweets I've ever seen in my life of, bro, you know, I had some funny things to say about that. Why didn't you have me come on the stream? I was saying it looks like a missile, bro. Like, it's so, you know, you know, I have funny shit to say, bro. Like I've been on hard times on my stream lately. Like shit to say, bro. I've been on hard times on my stream lately.

Help me out, man. Yeah, that was, Adam 22 has really been debasing himself recently. I think it is a deliberate thing. I don't know if it works or not, but he sounded like he was complaining about being not invited to another child's birthday party, but it was just for like Drake's dick review. I've never felt more betrayed than when my friend did six hours breaking down what Drake's dick looks like and didn't get my zingers in there.

He's like, dude, I've been waiting for this moment. I prayed for days like this and we would see Drake's penis and I could have some funny things to say about it. I think it was actually even worse than that if he accused him of stealing his comments about Drake's dick and using them in his stream. You know, they're all parallel thinking. OK, you know, like two intelligent people, you know, like unbeknownst to what the other could come up with the same funny joke about Drake's dick. And was there anything funny to say about Drake's dick or was it just a normal

dick? No, it was just a big dick. It was pretty big. I guess it is sort of funny how he's like spread eagle during it. It's like, if there is anyone in the world who can like post like a fairly big dick inside of a private plane that they own and you can still make fun of them for the way that they do it. It really is Drake. I mean, you know, but he's he's winning too. I mean, everyone was was laughing but like, come on, it's he's got a big dick in his own private jet. You know, what are you gonna make fun of

him for? Well, I mean jet you know what are you gonna make fun of him for well I mean you know I really like this story. This is about how sort of the legal and ethical issues that arise when the governor of an American state starts doing spawn con on the internet. This is of course referring to Governor Kristi Noem of South Dakota. I'm just looking at like this. She posted this on her official Twitter account of again, the governor of an American state. Fit My Feet does amazing work to make custom insoles.

Just wait, I'm going to be out. I'm going to be so fast. And she's just like, you know, she's just standing with the product, the insoles, the custom insoles product of the Fit My Feet Company. And then New York Times covers this. It says, the Fit My Feet was not the only one. When Governor Christine Noem of South Dakota showcased her new teeth in a slickly produced video posted to social media on Tuesday, it seemed like a baffling move to advertise that she, the head of one state, had flown to another for a cosmetic procedure that was documented in detail to her followers. Now, Ms. Noem has more to chew on. A nonpartisan consumer

group filed a lawsuit on Wednesday against Ms. Noem in Superior Court in Washington, DC, claiming the social media post was an undisclosed advertisement for the cosmetic dentistry practice in Houston that is featured prominently in the nearly five-minute post, a violation of the district's consumer protection law which prohibits deceptive business practices. But like, this to me is like, if you want any more indication

about what a fucking low-rent swap meat country this is, the fact that governors of states are doing spawn for fucking cosmetic dentistry and custom insole brands that are not even in the state that they're governor of. Because like, you know, usually selling a governor is like, they'll visit a local bar and be like, you know, oh, if I'm in Patterson, New Jersey, I love hanging out here. This, you know, McCallican's Bar and Grill. But no, they're bringing business to other states to do like the shittiest spot. Apparently she's getting paid for this shit too. Smile Texas, the practice Ms. No mentions in length in her video, advertises itself as a destination for

cosmetic procedures, offering guidance on travel and financing on its website. A representative reached the company's main line on Thursday said, I ran to the phone and I'm not going to talk to you. That's HIPAA policy. You're smart enough to know that. Getting a gold tooth put in violates HIPAA. Well, I suppose it does. It was a medical procedure. But yeah, this is fucking hilarious. Does anyone look to small state governors like, damn, her teeth look good. You know, like there's so many celebrities, we have so many celebrities whose teeth you could try to emulate. I saw that Roy Cooper, governor of North Carolina, basically did an ad for like draft kings, which

is like even more low rent to me somehow. Yeah, totally. A cosmetic dentist in Texas is, that's bad and low rent. But it's like, you know, North Dakota. North Dakota is, I can't even get into it, but they should have never made the deal with those hoople heads from Yankton. It shouldn't be a place. It should be part of Montana. They should have gone to the Montana offer.

Right. Well, you know, what's the problem? Oh, would too many people live in that combined state? A whole, you know, 1.5 million people. But North Carolina, you know, is a... It's a research triangle. It's a depressing sort of empty place. It's one of those like Panera states. But it's a depressing sort of empty place. It's one of those like Panera Panera states, but it's a real place. They have a real economy. And I don't feel like their governor should like be doing DraftKings.

going out of state to patronize businesses in neighboring states. That's so funny to me as a governor, because it's like she's basically advertising for money that shoes and dentistry is not available in South Dakota. Well, like I haven't looked into the dentist as much, but like, do you think that maybe the dentist is like a famous conservative dentist? Like Dr. Mengele? What did that like he's, he, you know, he, there was some like news story we missed in like 2019 where he's like, I won't like do trans teeth.

You're theorizing the existence of a MyPillow guy for teeth. Yeah. I mean, like, like ever since we saw that Christian movie and there were those conservative baseball twins, I've, I've since, you know, opened my mind to the possibility of millions of conservative celebrities that I've never heard of before. Yeah. That gets back to what I was saying earlier is we do need one dentist who's known for his political beliefs. Like I guess the MyPillow guy is a good example of we needed a pillow salesman and we got to hear all his bullshit the same way we got to hear streamers and athletes talk about it, you know? Yeah, I actually, I like Mike Lindell. I think he,

you know, I don't agree with him on whatever he's saying. I think that the Chinese people set up Wi-Fi and it ruined the election. It's something like that. But I like his whole attitude. He seems like the kind of sort of middle-aged crackhead who gives kids full-size Snickers on Halloween. Hey, well, the dentist lobby will be, I have a thing or two to say about that. You know, I remember there, I think there was a dentist in my building growing up

that gave out apple slices on Halloween. And since then, I've never seen a dentist since then. I will be checking out smile cosmetics. Why would a dentist undermine themselves by not giving out the worst candy possible, right? Yeah. Or you think they would be giving out lots of candy. So they could get more work. Exactly. That's what I mean. Just like tons and tons of candy. It's really bad for your teeth. It says in Tuesday's video, Ms. Gnome52 describes how she flew to Houston to the team at Smile Texas, so the team at Smile Texas could fix her teeth, which she said were knocked out in a biking accident years ago.

Her testimonial is interspersed with footage of a dentist in the practice and tight shots of her mouth, and it ends with a logo for Smile Texas. Ms. Gnome did not include a sponsored tag or otherwise label the content in the video Ms. Noem who has gained prominence in the Republican Party So she was motivated by wanting to feel confident and force her smile not to be a distraction I want when people look at me to hear the words that I say and not be distracted by something I'm wearing or how I look or even my appearance She said wait, so she just like had all of her teeth knocked out

for several years? Yeah, it was like stop. Okay, moving on to the next story I have here today. This is from the New York Times headline, Piety and Profanity, the raunchy Christians are here. I've been waiting for like a sort of waiting for like a Porky's style Christianity. And some of you we talked about a little bit on the show is like sort of the increasing horniness and ribald behavior from evangelical Christians.

And the New York Times has an article about this. It begins, the conservative dads, real women of America, 2024 pinup calendar features old school images of sexiness. Bikinis, a red sports car, a bubble bath. This is the old school sexiness, a woman on a car. Isn't this exactly what G. Gordon Liddy did for years and years of having his annual calendar where he did that shit?

Yeah, it was like women holding guns and stuff. Yeah, yeah. Um, the models are influencers and aspiring politicians familiar to the very online pro Trump right. In one image, a blazed TV host in a short skirt lights a copy of the New York Times on fire with a cigar. Another model, the former NRA spokeswoman Dana Loesch hosts two rifles. Published by a woke free beer company hastily launched last year as an alternative to Bud Light, the calendar was clearly meant to provoke

liberals. When photos of it began circulating online in December, progressives did not pay much attention. Instead, it sparked a heated squabble on the right over whether conservative dads who happen to be Christian should reject the calendar on moral grounds or embrace it as an irreverent win for the good guys. What do you think? Can Christian dads get horned up for babes and beer or is that ungodly? I think it's more telling that they expect liberal guys not to like hot women anymore. Yeah. Where did that come from? You know? I mean, it was just like, I think it came from like the sort of like unanimous sort

of like, just sort of like, like achieved at the same time, a sort of like a collective unconscious rising that these guys have all decided that every attractive woman is actually washed and ugly. So, but like, I guess I'm concerned here like, like, that this is a calendar for conservative dads. Like this is a calendar for 13 year old boys. Like if you are, if you have kids and you have a calendar that is like publicly displayed in your home or office that features like women eating hot dogs and smoking cigars, I just, I don't think that's appropriate regardless of who you are or how old you are. I mean, or rather like if you're past a certain age.

Well, actually I can think of one type of conservative dad who would put this up is a closeted one. Yeah. Yeah. Lindsey Graham is like, y'all feel like seeing Dana Loesch, Miss Conservative July. on a loge miss miss conservative july match lab probably got a hundred of these after his like 50th forcible hand job lawsuit i love that this is a this is put up by the the woke free beer company too because i guess like the woke the woke free beer uh wasn't wasn't really moving units the way they wanted so like you know uh sports illustrated just shuttered i think there's like

there's a you know there's a a gap in the market that needs to be filled here for boobage and babage. And I think I just, you know, the Christians are going to be the ones that fill that hole. I do have to admire woke free beer for deliciously satiring my beliefs. They skewered me so deftly. It says here, in another image, a crucifix hangs prominently on the kitchen wall behind a woman in a tiny skirt apron and platform heels. On the platform X, the model Josie Gleibach, who goes by the redheaded libertarian, said she was working to provide for her family and defended her conservative bona fides in part by referring to her family's Catholic faith. Using vividly vulgar language, she wrote that she doesn't care if the fact that I look hot doing any of this offends your senses.

Well, I wish she would care because it does offend me. Oh wait, I actually I did see like an intra-conservative fight over this. A lot of the Jesse Helms Groper guys were like, fuck you, you gross ginger lady. This is disgusting, this isn't Christendom. And she was like, you know, clapping back with this type of stuff. This was a huge dust-off on the conservative internet. So it sounds like it's only offending people that like they're trying to sell to

Yeah, yeah, not not not not the libs, you know, but hey redheaded libertarian. I got one question Does the von Mises match the drapes or the does the Austria match the economics? I don't know I'm dying here. Going on, it says, an influential Idaho pastor and author Doug Wilson, whose profile has risen in the Trump era, casually uses vulgarities like gay-tards online and has used obscenity on his blog in reference to a Lutheran pastor. I'm not a Christian, so I think that this is a, I don't know, like, an interesting development here because I want to go back to the age of the Reformation, but I want people to like, I want Lutherans and Methodists and Catholics, I want them all just dropping diss tracks on each other with profanity and with babes in music videos where they're,

like, shaking their ass on the pulpit or pointing a gun at the screen or calling the entire Protestant Reformation for gay tarts. Yeah, it's a very explicit or it's a very specific type of slur though, right? Because there's a much more offensive slur for gay people he could use. But he's not trying to go there, but he's kind of trying to go there. Like it's so weird. Like I don't know, he settled on the very strange like middle ground there.

And speaking of using the other slur, where is Melanie Mack? How come she's not on this calendar? Yeah, right. I don't think her fans would enjoy that when she behaves indecently. But going on here, it says the partial embrace of, so they talked to sort of an academic here who can explain this phenomenon by saying, the partial embrace of vulgarity Dr. Cobes-Dumez pointed out is happening in a moment of deep conservative outrage and often visceral disgust at rising rates of non-traditional gender and sexual identities, particularly among young people. In that context, an indulgence in heterosexual lust, even if it is in poor taste, is becoming

seen not just as benign, but maybe even healthy and noble. Part of the reason transgender identities are considered a threat is that they blur gender differences, Dr. Cobes-Dumez said. Against that backdrop, it's a wholesome thing for a boy to be lusting after a very sexy woman. I mean, like, I think, like, in a couple years years time, pornography provided it is just guy-girl, not girl-girl or like any other sicko combination of people or genders, just straight guy-girl pornography, I think is going to like become a blessed thing. Because they should teach Brazzers in school.

They're trying to take the phones away from kids so that they can't learn about heterosexual sex from brazzers.com. But yeah, like just the horniness, it's not just for libs anymore. It's for conservatives too, provided it's woke free horniness. I think that's a beautiful thing. Yeah. I want to see wedding rings in my hardcore scenes. And the wedding rings was shared by the couple

performing. Not no cheating. I don't want to see any cheating. I want to actually see the ceremony itself with an officiant who proves that they're legally able to marry couples. And then it gets onto the scene, you know, that officiate Bishop Lamar Whitehead of Brooklyn. Yeah. Um, moving on, uh, Charles, the one thing we wanted to talk to you about, because I know,

unfortunately, you guys are a big fan of the music producer and journalist, Eric Alper. Oh yeah, he's great. Well, he's not even a producer, he's just a PR guy. Oh, he's a long time Canadian music PR man who's become sort become sort of a Ubiquitous presence on Twitter is you know asking the questions that need to be asked like what's a song that makes you feel happy? Or something that makes people sad Could you and your friends listen to an entire album for ten thousand dollars? Yeah But like I know unfortunately you guys have you guys have you guys have dipped into the Alper well before the lake If you have to describe Eric Alper to someone who's not familiar with him. What would you do? Well, how would you describe him?

I mean the way he presents on Twitter is as just a complete cipher of it is just like what's your favorite song about a hospital? And it gets really specific like that because he's already asked what's your favorite song that makes you happy, right? So it's like what's your favorite song that happens on a wharf or whatever and And then he'll post like a picture of like, that would be sitting on the dock of the bay by 100 people respond with that. And he's fishing for an answer like that, you know? And then like, he'll just post a picture of the Abbey road album cover and say the Beatles in 1969 and gets 10,000 likes on that. But as like the operation has evolved, I know me and Alex looked into this like a couple years ago, but it was at least twice every hour, 24 hours a day. He's automatically posting this stuff. Like it never stops 24 hours a day. And I don't know, like

obviously the way he portrays himself is as a very happy-go-lucky guy who just loves all music and he loves talking about music and whatever. But obviously there's a very cynical operation that he's self-aware of, right? And as a PR person, our thought is that obviously he's trying to drum up business for his PR business by getting like 800,000 followers on Twitter, right? So me and Alex kind of like went through and looked at his list of clients and everything, and we found posts where he is trying to promote his clients and those one get like 10 likes and then he posts like sticky fingers album cover and it gets 20,000 likes. You know what I mean? Like the strategy, if that's the strategy, it's not working. And also there's just like this cynical streak to what he's doing that he never really like admits,

but I think he must be at least sort of aware that what he's doing is deliberately cynical. You know what I mean? You know, like I think something that cuts against him being deliberately cynical is how earnest and openhearted he is by having, you know, by his guest choices on his podcast. And I'm referring, of course, would a cynical person invite Zionist warrior Eve Barlow on his show? I mean, this is, this is, we, I mean, like a cynical person would choose a guest that people like and want to hear from on a music related podcast. But no, he had to have his, his good friend, Yves Barlow on the show. This is like a month

ago or something, but I think we should revisit it because Yves Barlow, uh, the last month she had, she wrote up on her, on her sub stack, um, uh, under the headline, the me you haven't met. She is sort of decided to document her trip to the Eric Alper show and what a good time she had. So I was like, I want to read a little bit from you Barlow's sub stack about the her appearance on Eric Alper show, the me you haven't met yet. And then we have some, we could maybe listen to the show because, you know, a theme on today's show is not knowing what people sound like.

Like with Destiny, I was shocked to find out what he actually sounds like. Eric Alpert, I was trying to place this because I listened to a couple of clips before the show. And I got to say he sounds exactly like Steven Root's character from Office Space. But like he's noticeably Canadian a bit, but that's not what sticks out because his voice is so peculiar that it takes a moment to set in that he also has a Canadian accent. But so this is Eve. She writes, I have been burned to the ground recently. It's an interesting choice of metaphor given the work output she's been engaging in lately. So she says, I've been burned to the ground

recently and one morning I felt worse than I felt in ages, but I'd made a commitment to speak to one Eric Alper and I don't let people down. I agreed to be interviewed by Eric for his Sirius XM show, That Eric Alper, which is one of Sirius XM's top rated shows with more than 1 million listeners. Eric wanted to interview me for a whole hour to make me his entire show. And I had no idea. And I had no idea if I could demonstrate in any way whatsoever that I was deserving of a whole hour of airtime. Well, at least she has some self awareness. But it says here, nevertheless, I logged on to zoom and off we went. Eric blew me away.

He'd been reading my work for as long as I've been doing it. And no, not this work, not the bulk of what I've done with blacklisted. That's her sub stack. My work before all this, my writing, my music criticism. He knew everything back to front better than I do at times. He quoted things back at me that I'd even forgotten about. Dude, okay, I gotta cut in there. Do you know what the thing that he quoted back to her is after I listen to this one thing?

It's that she had claimed when she was younger that she wants to be the female Chuck Klosterman, but more attractive. That's what he quoted back to her. What a thing to aspire to. Aim high. Before we agreed to do this, we were talking about my interview with his former client, Sinead O'Connor. Eric is a publicist. He is based in Canada and an essential piece of fabric of the music industry going on. Okay, Eric Alper, a PR guy from Canada, is not an essential piece of the fabric of the

music industry going back decades. I'm sorry. He's based in Canada and is an essential piece of the fabric of the music industry going on decades. He's represented everyone from Jerry Lee Lewis to DJ Khaled, from Smashing Pumpkins to Snoop Dogg. Eric Alper actually stabbed G- stabbed Gene at the Source Awards. And guess what else Eric is? He's a proud Jew. Over the course of an hour Eric just

gave me the best therapy I could have right now. We talked about things I haven't been granted the air to talk about for years. We discussed my early Tumblr days, my reaction to getting hired as a 25 year old pretender who would be at the helm of the music, the biggest music magazine. What is it like being on the scene in London in the late 2000s? The early days of Twitter and being a troublesome brat. How much I miss the debauchery and ridiculousness of it all. We talked about what great music journalism is, why the British press was the best, and what's missing today in culture.

And then of course we get into October 7th and why I'm doing all of what I'm doing now. This this sounds like a great interview. I just I love I love how antiquated it is to be like, yeah, I'm a rock and roll journalist. Yeah, she's like she's like the kid from almost famous, but she started doing it at 25 rather than 14. Totally. Yeah, that's how she's making it sound. I was a 25 year old music listening prodigy. I was a 25 year old music listening prodigy. People were saying I was almost as thoughtful as Chuck Closterman.

The interview's great though. It starts off so, he just keeps giving her softballs where he's describing how, I told a few people I'm interviewing you and they all wanted me to tell you thank you. Thank you for what you're doing. Do you get that a lot? And she's like, yeah, I do. Chris, can we hear that? Can we hear just like the first two minutes of part one because that part we see, because I want our listeners to hear a little bit of Eric Alpert. He's that Eric Alpert and this is his show. It's that Eric Alpert show on Canada talks. Welcome to the program. This is a special edition of that Eric Alper show, because normally if you've heard the show in the past, I have a number of guests on here. All musicians

or maybe talking about their music books, but this one is a little bit different because it's one guest for the entire hour. I first heard about Eve Barlow through her music and pop culture writing. What accent is that? She was the Deputy Editor of the NME in the UK and was a contributor to New York magazine, the Guardian, Billboard, LA Times, Pitchfork and GQ among many, many others. And it was really her stories that hit home when she was writing about artists like Amy Winehouse and Sinead O'Connor. His voice is insane.

It's wild. Like he, that is what the, um, people who fought in the war of 1812 sound like. How does he sound? It's like some kind of Ken Burns voiceover. Yeah. My dearest Edabel, I was fondly remembering before I lost my legs at Antietam, I was fondly remembering some of your wonderful daguerreotypes and interviews that you did with Stephen Foster Douglas. It made me laugh so hard. It is sort of like the this is a Henway Ford steel katana voice.

I think the best thing about this interview though is that I think that Eric Alper bit off more than he could chew with all the Zionism stuff because they talk about music for a while and it's actually it's pretty anodyne for about half of it. But then in the second half she goes on a rant like seriously at least 10 straight minutes without him saying anything more than mm hmm or yeah. For a very, very long time saying Zionism is extremely progressive and you know, just like all this stuff that's like hard to listen to cause it's so just fucking absurd. And then maybe we should just play the clip. I don't even want to spoil it cause it's so much funnier than I expected. To completely take away all liberties, all freedoms.

They represented life itself and they were butchered because of it in the most vile, horrifying, mind-bending ways. And the music press should care about it, but that's why they don't. You miss music writing? That's one of the funniest things I've ever heard in an interview in my life. So cool. Maybe it's all, maybe it isn't to put on, you know, maybe that's all he thinks about. Do you like writing about music? You still wish you did it?

It feels like something he would post, you know? Thank, thank, thank God for the, for the, thank God Eric Alper, I just like, thank God Eric Alper chose the whole hour of that Eric Alper show to donate to the formerly the top music journalist in the world, Yves Barlow. I would love to know what he was thinking as she just went on this 10 plus minute diatribe. Like did he just bite off more than he can chew? And he's like, I have no idea what any of this means. You know? No, yeah. Eric, Eric like thought he was a Zionist,

but he realized he doesn't know what any of this shit is. Yeah. It took him 10 minutes to construct that question to get out of it. Someone told him that like Zionism means that like cake could play a show in Tel Aviv and he's like, oh I'm bad I'm whatever. Yeah, and then he heard this I was like, I don't I don't know any of this. I'm pretty Ten minutes of Eve talking about like Using quadcopters to snipe children in the Gaza Strip because they had it coming and then he he's just like, do you like this search and destroy by the stooges? That's a great song.

Which bassist has the most attitude? Yeah. Is there any format on earth as grim as satellite radio? It really is not film radio. I was kind of surprised by surprised just by how shitty the audio sounds. I kind of assumed he had access to like at least enough money to have the same microphone I have or something. That's what's sort of amazing about it. I, I, I have been on satellite radio. I like, um, Oh, hot shot.

Yeah. Well, I don't know. I just want people to know about it, but, um, like Anthony Cumi is still pretty funny. Okay. Like, um, uh, well, I don't know. I just want people to know about it. But, um, like Anthony Kumi is still pretty funny. Okay. A friend was, uh, filling in for like, uh, someone else's satellite radio show. And I like went there and they have like a professional setup. He's like, they don't record their shows with the Mac book internal mic. I don't know how he makes it sound like that.

But it's the, it's the substance of what they're saying that really matters, I think. It's just sort of a punk rock podcast. Doesn't need to sound good. Yeah, that's true. Well, Charles, I want to thank you for joining us today. But before we go, I know you're the creator, the man behind the scenes of Pixar, or so does, and the great E1 podcast with Andrew and Branson. But you guys, you guys are cooking up some, something new and marvelous.

And I'm wondering if you could give us a little preview. Oh, yeah, absolutely. So next week some fire you guys got coming out. I think the plan next week is on Wednesday night. There's, they added some shit on Patreon where you can like kind of do the YouTube thing of having a live chat as you debut an episode. So we're going to try that on Wednesday night next week for the scripted episode called the Ballad of Brewer Grouse, which it's basically it started as a parody

of Inside Lewin Davis, but it immediately got so stupid that you can barely call it that anymore. That's the one that I know and love. Yeah, yeah. But it's going to be a lot of fun. We have like we have like a half dozen songs in it featuring Branson. You love to hear Branson singing, you know. There's me on a few of them. We got the incomparable Nate Roos from Fun on a few of them.

And then we also have Lisa Vitale, who she has a pop band called Terror Junior. And she's also sung on a Dolly Parton record, so you know she's cool. And Dolly advocated for her to get on there so you know she's got the Dolly co-sign. Yeah I think it's gonna be a lot of fun. It'll be on the public feed on Thursday next week. Excellent and if you're not already an E1 or Fortune Kid subscriber please go ahead

and do so and also check out Charles' band Solips which is also part of the panoply of his many talents. Indeed. Uh, can we, can we, can you play us out with one of the little preview, a little song you got cooked about? Yeah. Yeah. So we got a song from the episode.

This one's, uh, my character who's sort of a straight up Bob Dylan ripoff, but, uh, the song itself is like a pro war early sixties folks. I'm going to assume that's let's start a war on Christmas Island. Yeah. Way down south, there's some bastards on an island. And I ain't talking about Australia. They'll crucify you. They'll beat and jail you. Like a street dog, they'll impify you, they'll beat and jail ya Like a street dog they'll impale ya

They say that war is crazy, but I disagree It makes the most sense to me No one wants to know the truth and hear my brave message Let's teach those bastards a lesson We'll burn down all their jungles. We'll topple all their forts. We'll turn their beaches into glass. Wait a second. Pause it for a second. What's that? Charles, is this a song about advocating going to war against the uncontacted tribes that

killed that guy? Well, no, this is a contact. This is a place that's like a territory of Australia nominally that has like 1400 people living there. One of the smallest countries in the world. Sorry, sorry. Keep playing. We'll dry up the rivers and block all their ports.

We'll make them learn our sports. Our politicians won't take out this tyrant. We'll make them learn our sports. Our politicians won't take out this tyrant. We'll make them learn our sports. Our politicians won't take out this tyrant. We'll make them learn our sports. Our politicians won't take out this tyrant.

Our politicians won't take out this tyrant. Our politicians won't take out this tyrant. Our politicians won't take out this tyrant. Our politicians won't take out this tyrant. Our politicians won't take out this tyrant. Our politicians won't take out this tyrant Just cause it might get violent But I refuse to remain so peaceful and silent Let's start a war on Christmas Island start a war on Christmas Island. They've got a population of 1,402. Our big old bombs will turn them to goo. To protect the shores of Kentucky and Tennessee too.

We'll turn their brains to stew Our politicians won't take out this tyrant just cause it might get violent But I refuse to remain so peaceful in silence So peaceful and silent Let's start a war on Christmas Island No one wants to know the truth and hear my brave message No one wants to know the truth and hear my brave message Let's teach those bastards a lesson You know, Charles, like, when I hear your songs, it's like, sometimes they're so good, they're better than the thing they're parodying And I just gotta say, that song is better than anything Bob Dylan ever did in his entire

career. More and more, I feel like that's necessary for them to be funny, you know? It's not funny if it's like, not coherent enough. If it doesn't resemble the thing it's parodying enough, you know? Well, Charles Austin, I want to thank you so much for joining us today. Once again, episode one in Fortune Kit and the band is Solips. We will have links to all of them in the show description. Until next time, guys. Bye bye. Once the Patriots lied, Waste of modern life. Although we'll die, at least we were right

Once the elements find a way to rewrite Earth without mankind At least we knew it was night, an ocean of fire And it's starting to rise You're out of your mind But you'll reach your height That is the end in sight