Chapo Trap House - 818 - Dr. Brain & the Women feat. Alex Nichols (3/25/24)

Episode Date: March 26, 2024

Alex is back to look at a number of topics including: Putin’s ancient vault, the Brain podcast sex freak, UN supports ceasefire, Jewish Heaven, Trump bankrupting the RNC, Catturd’s dogs, and Royal maladies. Finally, a reading series on the Ancien Cajun, James Carville, and who still has lessons to impart on the best way for Democrats to win from that one time he let Ross Perot hand him an election. Tickets to the Jaques/Chapo/Seeking Derangements show at the Lodge Room in LA, Thursday April 4: https://www.lodgeroomhlp.com/shows/show-pig-a-live-comedy-podcast-spectacular-with-seeking-derangements/

All I'm gonna do is hit the drum All I'm gonna do is hit the drum Okay, everybody, it's Monday, March 25. It's Jeff Oh back at it again. And at the top of the show, I'd just like to share some good news, some good news for a change. This is being reported today. I'm pleased to share that a man with a Neuralink implant is able to control a computer and play chess via his thoughts. Elon Musk says of this, just the beginning. And I know on a previous

episode I've been very skeptical of Neuralink and you know its potential to change humanity, but I just got skeptical of Neuralink and its potential to change humanity. But I just got to say, congratulations to Musk and more importantly, congratulations to Matt Christman on getting that microchip in his brain. He's playing chess like you wouldn't believe. He's moving a cursor around a computer screen. He's doing better than ever before. And it's thanks to the Neuralink and Elon Musk. Yeah, that was a huge chip. That was like a six inch chip. It was like the size of a motherboard.

But- Unfortunately, Matt can only, the chip is the size of a 1970s computer. It's a Raspberry Pi. Yeah, so for the future of the show, we kind of have to be in a disused military base and things like that. But he's able to not just play chess, but like get inside the chess board in a Tron like thing.

It's very cool. He can't do anything else but play chess. It's his first video game, but he's amazing at chess. But, you know, until until Matt Masters, the game of chess, we do of course have co-host Alex Nichols subbing in today. Alex, welcome back. Good to have you. What's up? But just, you know, so Matt's, he's enjoying playing chess and moving the cursor around

a computer screen with his mind. Who knows what else the lawnmower man will be capable of doing with the neurolink implant, but just want to send his best. I know maybe some of you saw the photo he posted of the incredible zipper that he now has on his skull, but Matt is enjoying his new skull and his new implant. So just sending our love to him and his family right now. But I've got some other great, I've got some other good news to start out this show. It's a little different from the parade of bad news. But here's a really exciting story from the weekend. Did y'all hear about Vladimir Putin opening

the oldest vault to reveal images of biblical figures? They're black in every single one. Now, I've been waiting for them to do this. Israel won't do this. Israel and Palestine both won't do this. We know where the cave of the patriarchs is. We know where it is. We know where the hole is. I have recurring dreams where I get down into it and I discover that there's nothing in there.

Jacob's not in there. Abraham's not in there. Isaac's not in there. Their wives aren't in there. Rachel isn't in there. Nothing's in there. Someone went down there like 50 years ago. They found that we're all Japanese actually. Strange. No one saw that coming.

I've really had it with like the vault doubters. Like they started out being like, there's no way that Vladimir Putin opened a vault. And now that everyone has seen video of him opening the vault, they're like, okay, but it's not the world's oldest vault. I feel like it's more like trad Russian orthodox, ruffin, because why would that be up there? Why would that be in Moscow? That's like the ultimate fantasy for a Byzantium guy. Like all that stuff, all those artifacts, all those bodies, they made it up to Byzantium, they made it up to Byzantium. They made it up to Constantinople.

They came up with the guns and then they rushed them up to, up to, at the Volga to Moscow and that's where all this stuff is. Like that's the real third Rome. That's where it all sits, but also they're black. I just, so I would, I would guess that it would be in like Ethiopia. Like that's, that's really, I think where you would find a bunch of stuff like up there in the in the mountains. I bet there's something up there.

Who knows? But I feel like I've for a while, like when I heard about this story, I kept having the phrase of Vladimir Putin opens Russia's oldest vault. But no, apparently he opened the oldest vault. And like that to me is the best part of this story. Because look, listener, maybe you didn't grow up with New York City public access channels to watch. But of course, since I did, I've known for quite some time that every character in the Bible is black.

So maybe this will come as a shock to you if you weren't educated the way I was. But I just like I like the idea that Vladimir Putin is controlling the oldest vault. And here's another here's another thing for the vault Doubters out there. Um, he opened the oldest vault and then what happens like a couple days later? The worst terrorist attack in Russia in like 20 years do the math. Yeah, bono It's really it's really interesting a lot of people who say the vault is insignificant seem to care a lot about getting the vault out of the news and using the ISIS attack to ruin vault SEO.

I like the idea of Vladimir Putin doing the doing the thing from buck breaking about how white people are like naturally gay cave apes. or like naturally gay cave apes. Just like solemnly, solemnly admitting that being like, yeah, like I'm not any happier than you are about it, but. That's why we need those laws. Yeah. You know how we are. You know, as cave apes, we're going to just start fucking each other if it's legal. That's what he said.

Yeah, it's like Russia's version of Jimmy Carter's malaise speech, the gay campaign speech. Vladimir Putin will be appointing a new general mukmuk to lead his invasion of Ukraine. But yeah, the Russian terrorist attack, I mean, it's funny that ISIS guys just get caught alive now. I mean, talk about a degraded caliphate when they're sending in a guy with like a Prince of Ali with the Anton Chagur haircut. They just get arrested after shooting like 300 people. But they beat him up too. Yeah.

They should have smacked him around a couple of times and then let him go. Which seems very uncharacteristic because there was also that video about them cutting the guy's ear off and then feeding it to him. Probably the first gore I saw was some Russian soldiers cutting a guy's head off while he was alive and you can hear him screaming through the hole. Yeah, that was 12. I love going on the computer. 12. I love going on the computer. But anyway, they don't do that stuff anymore. That's the millennial versus zoomer divide. The millennials are the last people to have their first gore video be Russian soldiers, but zoomers, it's all cartels.

Yeah. We had to look for it. Yeah. We had to go searching for it. It wasn't just in the replies to everything. Now it's in my for you tab on Twitter. I had to work to get a brain like this. Zoomers are just, they have it naturally.

Yeah, if you're a Zoomer, you just wake up one day and you're following an account called like dogs getting killed and you don't remember following it. But now it's like door dash, it's right at your doorstep. You don't have to it, but now it's just right. It's like door dash. It's right at your doorstep. You don't have to work for it at all. It was hard as fuck to get computer poisoning when you were using like Windows 98 second edition hand me down computers.

You had to like build them yourself and she was a lot of work to get on there and like break your brain with 4chan. You have to make a lot of phone calls to get Internet fast enough to even like download video. Yeah, you had to you had to hassle the guys. I remember when I had to I had to I had to peruse the archives of rotten dot com to see videos of dogs getting tortured. And now it's just on the US Department of Transportation website.

Folks, it's Pete Buttigieg. He likes to torture animals. Allegedly. Here's it. Here's another more good news from the world of podcasting. Alex and Felix, did you guys see this huge New York Magazine cover story this morning? Apparently, it's about how a podcaster has like six different girlfriends in different states and is making out like a bandit. He, I can't believe it, but this guy, Andrew Huberman, who's like has like millions of followers, never listened to listeners, never heard of him, but as best I can tell, he's sort of like a 50 year old guy

who works out a lot, so he's got a great physique and has also studied neuroscience and does a podcast where he tells his listeners what time of day is most optimized to brush your teeth or something. Apparently he gets he gets pussy like a motherfucker. Yeah, this is Andrew Huberman from the E1 podcast. Yeah, he cannot stop doing this to women. We've you know, he's just a nurse, right? Yeah, he's not even qualified to talk about that stuff. He's a neuroscientist. Yeah, but yeah, no, I had never heard of this guy before. Every time someone tells me like this is the biggest podcast in America, I just

believe them in my mind now. There are like 20 concurrent biggest podcasts in America and they're all shit like this. It's like, you know, I worked at a pharmacy for 13 years and I'm going to tell you how to breathe. It's so strange because the number one podcast is either Shane Gillis or the meditative neuroscientist, the official Vox podcast. Like I don't somehow both both of those are the number one mainstream podcast.

I think there's a lot of inflation going on here. Like right before we started recording, I just started noticing this new thing where like Netflix was announcing that their new show, the Guy Ritchie show, The Gentleman, is like the most watched new TV show, but it has like, like it leads all streaming with over 1.3 billion minutes stream. And I'm like, wait, when did this become a metric by which people were judging like the popularity of something like billions of minutes watched and Like that's sort of how I think about all these podcasts I mean look in the New York magazine article said this guy was selling out the Sydney Opera House And if you're selling out you're trying to tell me that a guy who sells out the Sydney Opera House telling people about like

When how much water to drink every day? I mean that's an achievement and I think he should be allowed to have multiple girlfriends in different states. Did he do anything but cheat? Yeah. Well, I mean, I think maybe he gave I mean, there was allegations about one of his contracting HPV or something. But you know, this doesn't everyone have that by now. It's in the air. Yeah, I got it through vaccine shedding. It's like microplastics. Yeah, no, I mean, it's pretty funny because it was one of those things where I've just like I'm trying to like scroll through the reaction to like get what actually happened here. And apparently,

it's just him just just getting around just dating a lot of different women at the same time. And not telling them. Yeah, why would you date this guy? Why would you date an influencer guy like this? Like these guys are full of shit. These guys are sociopaths. It's like dating Andrew Tate. It's like falling for the boyfriend scam. Like don't you see this guy and what he does? You think this is a genuine person? Right, like this guy's entire output is like,

here's a way to count cheap so you're amazing at PowerPoints when you wake up. And you're like. Yeah, here's how to be more efficient about like working for a venture capitalist firm. Roll up exactly one sock and you will have lucid dreams. Oh, this guy's never going to lie to me. You need exactly 700 milligrams of caffeine a day to be at your max performance in Zoom meetings. Yeah. at your max performance in Zoom meetings. Yeah, this guy who tells people they have to line

a sleeping bag with aluminum to fix their circadian rhythm. He, me and him are never gonna grab each other's wrists at a bar telling each other to wait because I'm girlfriend number 37. Well, like I said, never heard of this guy's podcast, not getting money with him. So fuck him I hope he goes to jail for this. Hope he goes to boyfriend jail Can they really just write a news article about you if you cheat a lot and you're not like a real celebrity?

apparently, yeah, like yeah I don't like I don't care if I don't care if John Mulaney cheats on his wife who gives a fuck That's not my problem. Like I certainly don't give a fuck about this guy. I've never heard of him before. Yeah. Like why not just write an article about like your friend's dad at this point? He's a bad husband. Who cares?

Who is, who are you talking about? Like the way that this art, the tone of this article is like millions of people trust him because of his brain busters podcast. It's like, I don't know who gives me shit. All those people are stupid. Yeah. And you're stupid if you date him. Yeah.

Well, those people are dumb. Those are like LinkedIn women. They're networking Alex. That's why. And they were probably, they probably did it to do this. They probably dated him because they were imagining pitching this article well I mean like apparently the article happened because like all six of them got together and sort of a John Tucker must die style scenario

And compared notes or he's like, you know said he's like before he goes to bed at night Like does little selfie in bed. You're like just thinking how sexy and beautiful you are and then sends the same photo to like five different I'd be like, just think of how sexy and beautiful you are. And then sends the same photo to like five different. I mean, look, he's got his dude, he's maximizing the time that he has while he's awake. You know, this is circadian rhythm protection as much as it is, you know, stable management. But I must confess that when I saw the headline, our world's most popular podcaster can't stop fucking women. I was like, yeah,

Mikey Barberow at it again. This this motherfucker, the daily cannot be stopped. The situation has become dangerous and unacceptable for the single and married women of Manhattan. Right. Like Michael Barberow's podcast is huge. Like just going off anecdotal evidence, everyone has listened to the Michael Barberow hour or whatever. Every attractive woman. Yeah. 100% of him.

He like left his husband for a woman and there's never been an article about that. Yeah. So like, I don't think you should write an article about either, but if you're going to write an article about like fucking Dr. Brain and his, and his, uh, you know, his you know his harem rules apply to everyone I mean like like you know who got more screwed over like the five podcast fans that were dating the same guy at the same time or Mikey Barbera's ex-husband who like was I don't know apparently so bad that his husband stopped being gay I

mean I would like to hear that guy's side of the story because he seems like he was, you know, cast aside fairly dramatically. Yeah, I am very, I don't know. Again, I would like an article about it. I don't think, I don't think it's my business, but that does it. It is a more interesting situation. Yeah. Yeah. Well, speaking of things that I would like to have an article to read about How about how about our old friend cat turd running over his dog? I? Mean that was so mean like I feel I feel bad, you know when someone's pet dies or whatever But just like Alex and I know you're a he's like 25 of them. They kill each other all day

Talking about two of the dogs killing one of the other dogs. That doesn't happen to most people. Because he's just, he's one of those very good people. Where does he live? Baghdad? Where he just have like a hundred feral dogs in his backyard? He's one of those humanitarians who likes taking in stray dogs and then not paying attention to them. So you get to double dip. You get to get a bunch of positive reinforcement online for adopting the dog. And then when you kill it or starve it to death, then you also get more positive reinforcement for being stupid and bad at your life.

Alex, the way he went, the way he announced the death of his dog smiles was so funny because it was like he ran into the back of the car. He was like, he's like, I drove to the gate of my house and like all my dogs, you know, like they love to they love to chase after my pickup truck. And then, like, as I was driving back, I heard a I heard a thump as I drove over something and then I looked back and and smiles just killed over and died. I wasn't sure what happened, but maybe it was just his time to go.

And then we saw a good one. Great. Mitchell's reply. What a great game to have with your dog. Hey, everyone, chase my truck. Yeah, who the fuck? That's normal? That's normal?

Like, no, keep the dogs inside. Who lets that happen? Like, you've got just the cats and the dogs running around and the cars pulling out. They're just under the car while you're, what the fuck? And he's not even, it's not like he's even going somewhere because what he does, he's one of those guys who's larping, like he has a ranch. So he's just got like two acres in Florida where it's $70,000 for a place like

that. And then he drives his truck around and says, Oh, trees are still there. Mm hmm. Bushes are still there. All right. It looks like all the shingles are still on the house. And my my subsistence farm is in good condition. Back to Twitter. That's what he was doing when he killed this guy. Yeah. Unfortunately, six of my rescue pets have been swallowed by a Burmese python one after the other and are now basically the outlines of them are perfectly shaped inside a giant python on

my property. Oh, he's he's driving up and down his lawn with one of those farming farming vehicles that like it spits out cubes of hay, but it just gives you dogs. It's a dog over just an entire field of dogs and there are cubed dogs everywhere Just said just a perfect perfect rectangle of pitbull skulls I think the perfect ending for him like the literary ending for him would be him being eaten by the dogs Because what is a dog's favorite treat in the world a cat turd? Oh

Yeah, well that is the ultimate dog treat is getting into the litter box and. A cat turd. Oh yeah. Wow. That is the ultimate dog treat is getting into the litter box and eating a cat. Turd. Uh, I mean, I think it's, it could happen. Like you said, he is, he's one of these people that just like doesn't know anything, doesn't know what to do with the dog at all. And he's like, yeah, I'm actually an animal rescuer. I actually foster, I foster these animals and you go to their house and it just, it is anarchy.

It is all the worst smelling and most anxious animals in constant combat with each other. Like, yeah, they basically take the animals from the shelter and then make a shelter at their house. Yeah, it's noisier and dirtier and worse than the shelter. It's like the episodes of hoarders where they deal with animal hoarders are like that. That's the worst. That's that's the worst of humanity. Like, I mean, like when you find mummified cats in some lady's house, like, I mean, God damn, I mean, I catch her really easily. He's living on a pet cemetery. Let's let's see if any of them come back to haunt them. It's it's weird to see a conservative.

I mean, in reality, a lot of conservatives do do this. They do have a lot of like horribly behaved fucked up animals. You know, a lot of guys who their job in the military was to play Xbox. They're like, I need an emotional support dog for my PTSD. And it just happens to be a pit bull that only bites women. But it does feel sort of like 2017 Twitter anarchist, like a little bit. Like I need I need to go fund me for my dog rescue operation. I mean, I like another thing like right wing guys love is

making fun of women who have pets and not children and just sort of like the the the stereotype of like left leaning people who are childless and they have like fur babies or whatever but like cat turd is you know, I mean, I feel like there's a lot of a lot of pit bull moms on the right, you know, I don't know if they have kids in addition to their to their fur babies, but there's a lot of anxious, minimal husbandry. They don't call.

Yeah. Moving on from cat turd and his dogs, let's go to the UN. Big doings at the UN today. voted for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza today with the United States being the only member of the Security Council to abstain but not vote against meaning the resolution is passed the United States what's her name Linda Thomas Greenfield then basically said that like well the resolution is non-binding and I got a couple of things about this. One, Israel, unfortunately, officially canceled

their spring break delegation to visit the United States, Myrtle Beach to talk about the Rafa invasion. So they've canceled that because they feel stabbed in the back by the United States, not vetoing this resolution. But then the United States is quick- Birthright in reverse. Yeah, exactly.

They should get that going. Groups of them should come over here and have sex. That'd be great. He's like every, every Israel. I mean, apparently like every Israeli teenager has to go to, yeah, Myrtle Beach or Daytona or something like that. You know, just. Is that our Israel? Just, yeah. that, you know. Is that our Israel? Yeah. I feel like the southern Atlantic coast is sort of our Israel, like Palm Beach up to like Myrtle Beach. Well, I mean, that's our Levant. That's probably what they're going to make Gaza into when they're done with this shit. Yeah, it's going to be Palm Beach. Pretty

bad. But like, so the spring break delegation has been canceled, which is, you know, a huge blow to the United States and our prestige around the world that, yeah, representatives of Netanyahu's government won't come and break bread with us here in this country. But I don't know, like, I, there's a couple things I really liked seeing the video of this resolution get passed, because what's your name? Linda Thomas Greenfield was sitting there looking like she ate something like bad. She looked like she needed some bromo. She was looking very gassy having to sit there and have like the entire world applaud as

the they voted against the wishes of the United States. But I guess I'm just like I'm reading some of the reaction by Israel supporters in the United States of America to this. And I just think it's really funny the contrast between whenever Israel does something the United States explicitly tells them not to and in that case well they're a sovereign nation and we can't intervene in their you know internal affairs and then when we do something they don't like it's like the greatest betrayal of all time and then they're done with us. They're happy that they're gonna go with their own now. What do you guys think of that?

Wasn't there a tweet from someone where they were quote tweeting someone saying we should cut foreign aid to Israel and then say well that Goes both ways. We'll do it They're gonna cut foreign aid to us the free trial of ways is over I've seen a lot of a lot of stabbed in the back comments about this and I don't know and then again like How does it how does this work? Like the United States just said, like, oh, that's a nonbinding resolution. Well, then what the fuck was the point of voting on it? But it like isn't that would be like a complete reversal of like

when the Security Council votes on something usually. I mean, I don't get how the UN works. How is it like not how is it not binding when they pass a resolution on the on the Security Council? I mean, it isn't. Right. Just saying this is non binding. Did you see Trump? Trump's comments on Israel today where he was like, it's time to finish up. It's time to finish up. They're they're doing they're looking very bad to the world. I

mean, I can't I mean, if they ever have the debates, like I love I would love to see Trump attack Israel and Biden defend it during one of these debates or like maybe they'll just do it in the press. It's cause he's got TV brain. It's like a show that's gone on too long. It's jumped the shark. It's been on TV too long. I'm sick of hearing about it.

Same thing that happened with Ukraine. It's just, it's been on TV too long. I'm sick of this show. I need a new show. I mean, like Alex, his language, their finish up. It's like he said, you know, let's wrap up this plot line. Let's wrap it up. Arrested development style.

One more episode, please tell your friends about this show. Maybe a movie released directly to streaming and like, you know. Yeah, let's come back in five years with another into father But it is gonna be amusing to see I mean look and Trump doesn't mean this like, you know Like he'd be fine if they finished it up by dropping a nuclear bomb on Gaza But he's just like I mean, it's funny to hear him say how badly Israel is damaging its, you know, standing in the world. And then having the Democrats basically just have to defend them on that or just beg, beg Netanyahu for a ceasefire, which by the way, after this UN vote, I guarantee you that they're

going to destroy everything in Rafa at this point. Like they do not like having their knuckles wrapped on the world stage and every time that they get their knuckles wrapped and nothing happens, it just teaches them that they can go one step further, which I imagine they will do this time. I am kind of curious about the outcome of this because I think the response to like a UN thing in general

is either nothing or act worse but historically the only thing that is ever made them like come to heal is the few times in the last 50 years when the US has taken a hard line with them which unfortunately only came under Reagan and then HW but I mean I don't know if that's how they'll read it because the signals from Biden are just so they're all over the place. I can't imagine what he's telling them in private. The things that he's sort of purposely leaking in public are so like non piss at all. like are so like non-middle.

Yeah, leaks from the State Department. I guess moving on, just like one more note on Israel. It's it's it's the holiday of Perum right now. And I gotta say, how much blackface is too much for one nation? They're really pushing it with the blackface thing in Israel. Excuse me, what did we just learn about everyone from the Bible? You're right. You're right. Everybody in the Old Testament. Yeah. But yeah, that's another example of Israel really reading the room quite quite

adeptly but I've just been enjoying hitting the translate feature on Twitter as of as of late. It's a lot of fun stuff going on there. Yeah, like I always think like the Israeli obsession with blackface is crazy because it's like, that's not even your like main enemy. Like you're just you're just doing you're just doing this because you know it's bad. They know we don't like them. Yeah, you guys don't like these guys, right?

Like this is your version of our guys over here that we hate. You're right about the you are right about the translate thing because like every every post by an Israeli today. I'd like, uh, and then when, and then when, and then when I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm

like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like whoever it just like, I'm stupid chocolate man today. I'd like, uh, and then when, and then when that would this catches on outside, like, you know, Hebrew language speech speakers, the replies are really funny because like it's Israelis being like, I don't get what's racist about this. They're paying tribute to African culture. And it's like teenagers with the shoe polish on their

face and bones through their noses. Yeah. I saw a great one that was like, great. Another Israeli perim blackface costume has gone viral. And this is really going to make people anti-semitic. Just our luck. I do like the book of Esther a lot, but I'm not sure how it really supports what they're doing right now. Same thing with the story of the Macc, but I'm not sure how it really supports what they're doing right now. Same thing with the story of the Maccabees. Like it's about this oppressed ethnic group fighting against the hegemon, against like the global empire, the Achaemenid Empire or the Roman Empire, the Hellenists, the people

who they took over. They had more power, more population. They had more weapons. They had more power, more population, they had more weapons, they had more organization and the scrappy little group of Jews over in Persia did a bunch of terrorism and just massacred a bunch of civilians and it was cool. Do they take any hostages? That's what the story is.

It's also the first mention of like a coherent afterlife that involves human consciousness because there needed to be if you're gonna sacrifice yourself There should be like a reward in the afterlife Also, it says in the book of Esther that they were listening to David Guetta the people that they killed so it was okay What is a If you sacrifice yourself nobly in battle like the Maccalkivites did for Israel, for the Jewish people, what is the good version? What is the Jewish afterlife as a reward? Your relatives aren't there? What's the payoff here? They don't really get very specific with it. That's the thing. Religions develop later. They have an advantage in just having a more articulated heaven and hell.

But all I remember from the description of it in Maccabees is like, it's nice. It's a good neighborhood. It's a good tax base. The schools are good. Yeah. And your relatives, you don't have to talk to anyone. You don't have any skin on your penis. Not only do the Greeks not make you put your foreskin back on, the whole thing has no skin.

That's what heaven is like. Just a sausage out of its case. Yeah, it's like, I don't even think anyone could imagine a good time back then. It was really, it was grim. I mean, we've talked about it before, but the happiest days in the Old Testament, the times when David was kicking everyone's ass, they celebrated. They turned up by like handing out raisins to everyone. Oh, God, that's like that's how shitty it was.

It's like the hell nothing was ever on Halloween. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, yeah, the Jewish version of heaven, like, you know, when you're wandering the desert for 40 years, they're like, okay, I know this seems bad, but if you do everything right, there's more of this after your death. Yeah. There's desert with a couple plants on it. And God is still really pissed at you.

God is still mad at you all the time. Yeah. There's this big lake on it, but it's salt. I know it's all salt. I know it's figurative, but like that's why I always thought like the land of milk and honey was stupid, because it's like those aren't like rare things. You can get those. You can go to the store.

You get both those things. Well, I don't know. You don't have to ask your mom to have either milk or honey. Yeah, like Mir and frankincense and gold. Those are rare even today. Yeah, I would have to go on Amazon or something to get Mir. Gold you have to get from Idris Elba. Yeah.

Well, speaking of which, here's someone who will not be making it into the land of milk and honey and will not be with Hashem When she dies and that's Candice Owens Who has finally got around to being fired from the Daily Wire for hating Jews And I just gotta say I give the Daily Wire a lot of credit for hiring her in the first place In Bronx and I'm a fan of hers now It says here a prominent right-wing commentator Candice Owens has left The Daily Wire, the website founded by conservative commentator Ben Shapiro,

after months of promoting anti-Semitic ideas. In a statement posted to social media Friday morning, Daily Wire CEO Jeremy Boring said the company and the pundit have ended their relationship. It says, in a Thursday appearance on the Breakfast Club radio show, Owens acknowledged her strained relationship with Shapiro, but claimed that Ben doesn't have the power to fire me. Meanwhile, Owens began to use her daily water platform to promote anti-Semitism, claiming this month on her show that secret Jewish gangs terrorized Hollywood and recently favorited a tweet repeating a lie about Jews drinking Christian's blood blood and I just love the idea about Jewish gangs terrorizing Hollywood it's like you know Noah Baumbach is doing like Oh

block shit to Ben Stiller. It's so weird to see anti-Semitism like the black form of anti-Semitism for a white audience. Yeah. I don't know how it's really supposed to work because when it's like the the black Israelite type of shit that's for a black audience but when it's for a white nationalist audience you're saying you're basically saying all the stuff you don't like about black people is Jews fault and I just don't know if that's gonna work because I saw I saw a thread the other day where that CCG Brandon guy, it was actually Melanie Mack getting yelled at

for promoting that CCG Brandon guy. And it was someone saying, why are you promoting this ghetto thug and his jungle ghetto music and all this garbage? And it's like, that's the audience. No matter how respectful or whatever you wanna be, that's the reaction you're going to get. It's a real with the daily wiring Candace Owens though.

It's a real like Scorpion and the Frog situation because it's like they hired her because they wanted a non-white person to say bigoted racist things. But you're halfway across the river, Israel starts killing a shitload of people. Eventually you're going to get stung by the bigotry that cuts your way. If you're Ben Shapiro, an uneasy alliance between them from the beginning, needless to say, but best of luck to both of them. It just so it's like awkward in general to try to do anti-Semitism in

America, like doing it in Europe, where they have like a tradition. There's like, you know, there's a cultural tradition in memory of it. Yeah, that makes sense. You can do that there. Americans like they almost like don't know enough to be anti-Semitic. There's too much lore. It's like it's like trying to get it's like trying to get like a 60 year old to get really mad about something that happened in Sonic. Yeah. It's kind of the Dreyfus affair or something like, or, you know,

to truly understand it. Then you end up just becoming Jewish. I think if you have all of the stuff, you're reading all of the Torah, you're learning all about like post structuralist feminism and academia and going back to like my moinities and all this shit. You're kind of just like, how are you any different than the person you're making fun of? Moving on, some news about Donald Trump. Today an appeals court ruled that he only has to pay a $175 million bond. He has 10 days to pay that, knocking that down from $464 million in a ruling against

him by the state of New York in one of the various trials that he's embroiled in right now. But I want to think about this because of an amazing new thing that's going on. We're basically like, Trump has so thoroughly taken over the Republican Party that he's now gotten the RNC to directly fund his legal bills. Trump's invite, this is from the Associated Press, Trump's invite to major donors prioritizes the committee paying his legal bills over the RNC. So he is like, he has changed the entire Republican National Committee into basically a GoFundMe

so that he can make bail, which is incredible. That's awesome. That's what got him this far. It was only spending his own money if he absolutely has to. Yeah, he like, he never paid. If it's the absolute last resort. He never even paid like the electricians who wired his buildings, like, because he knew he could just take them to court in perpetuity.

So like, why pay, why pay your legal bills, especially when they're $400 million? And then I just think it's funny that also, like, at the same time, did you see NBC News hired the former chair of the RNC, was it Rona McDaniel, because she was replaced with Trump's daughter-in-law? And I just think, like, was it like Chuck Todd was like on Meet the Press this Sunday and he was just like, oh, I feel conflicted about this because, you know, she's been so mean to so many of our colleagues and literally supported the insurrection and lies and hates the media. But like, I view this as a positive sign because I think the media is finally trying to get serious about like not just having conservatives on

TV but having conservatives as they actually exist in America which are essentially you know marks for Donald Trump who are just eager to raise funds for his legal legal bills like they know they don't even like there's no more new conservatives or I don't know like foreign policy realists or any of that bullshit or like never Trump conservatives that represent ten people's opinions no just you're gonna have a conservative or a Republican who's like a media talking head. Just make sure that they're literally related to Donald Trump and you'll be getting a more accurate assessment of the views of the Republican electorate than, you know, Bill Crystal, a guy who has the blood of a few million people in his hands.

But you know, I don't know any thoughts about Trump getting the RNC to foot the bill for him? No, is it? That's kind of what they signed up for, like both of them, right? It would be really funny if they lost in 2024 and then they lost a bunch of down ballot races because the money went to this. That would be pretty funny. Moving on from that. So last week on the show, I or like, I don't know,

I don't know if this is the last week or the other week, but several times now on the show, I have implied that Kate Middleton's absence from the public eye was due to a botched BBL surgery. I would like to take this time now to apologize and adequately convey how ashamed I feel about this because apparently she has cancer and I know I should be ashamed because I have about ten different articles from the media telling us that we should all be ashamed for speculating about the Princess of Wales this is just here from I just what I hope you all feel terrible now by Helen Lewis for the Atlantic the real royal scandal is us by Pamela Paul for the New York Times no No, it's not.

I this thing. This shit pissed me off so much because it's like, okay, they weren't acting like she had cancer. They were. They could have just said she had cancer. It's not illegal to take a picture in the hospital if you're doing chemo. Like people do it all the fucking time or to just tell people they were at the way they were acting It was like she got a swastika tattooed on her forehead or her husband killed her

That's our fault like one of the kids actually killed the other kid like John Benet Ramsey Yeah, they feel like pretend. It's still alive And like this isn't the thing that's gonna make Kate Kate Middleton like have a nervous breakdown and like cut her own head off. It you know, it's all the other stuff. It's you know how they boy. I wish the Royals would do that to themselves. Oh, it would save us so much time.

Yeah, cut her own head off. That's converting to Catholicism or marrying an Egyptian. That's when they cut your head off. They made her like take ozimthic wall. She was giving birth. So that it like you know she could still be the most beautiful woman in the world to the English you know if she has a mental breakdown it's their fault. It's not everyone else for reacting rationally to this.

One more article here. This is by Jessica Bennett for the New York Times. The Internet should feel shame over Kate Middleton. And then it says here, it's all good and fun until conspiracy theories begin to contaminate conversations about elections, health care, and climate. Until they affect our perception of what's truth. Until we realize just how profitable trading in them can become. Until a part of us starts to believe them. It's not just journalism or social media that's the problem. It's that our brains are being hijacked. This is our entertainment now. It's

how we find meaning. Being able to separate engagement farming from real information is only going to become harder. I'd like to take the lecture from the New York Times a notch down on conspiracy theories and misinformation given their recent performance, not just this year, but like their entire history. And it's just like, who do we, like, who do we extend this fucking like this, this empathy parade for like some rich woman who has cancer? Like, I'm, I'm sorry for her family or whatever, but like, this is not the worst thing that's happening in the world. And I'm sorry, like speculating over or having some fun at the expense of the royal family is

not why this country doesn't have health care and It's not why global warming is happening I just hate it when like a journalist writes an article that's like Lying is bad Thanks for the fucking scoop there Brenda star. Oh Here's my invective against misinformation Holy shit, you're the first one. Oh invective against misinformation. Holy shit. You're the first one.

Oh, the now that we know what's true and what's not, and someone else figured it out for me, now I'm going to be smug about all I always knew what was true. And you guys were all stupid for falling for it. I would rather like read an article, like a journalist writing about how bad they think misinformation is, is like if you hired like a general contractor to like write an article, a self-congratulatory article every day that's like, I don't put old clothes in my septic tank.

That's bad to do. Okay. Here's why you shouldn't flush socks down the toilet. Yeah. Also, it's so insane to act like the world needs to change and the world needs to like stop coming up with conspiracy theories about this misinformation that we're putting out.

Like you have a responsibility, if you're a PR person for the most, for the royal fucking family, you have a responsibility to observe reality as it exists and then give people the information that will stop that speculation. Because that's literally your job. Like, yeah, when the royal family puts out some bizarre photoshopped image to just be like, everything's fine. And then everyone notices that and has some fun about it. I

don't think it's like a shameful thing to be like, oh, she has cancer, the how horrible of us we've our brains have been hijacked and hoodwinked by the disinformation machine that is the internet. It's like fucking Buckingham Palace was the one doing misinformation here by pretending that this lady was like, she's just tired, it's fine. Also why do we have to worship these people who are all sick and unhealthy? Like the king has cancer, she has cancer. You should be listening to Andrew Huberman. Biden has dementia. Trump probably has dementia.

It's like, at some point, can we get, can we get some healthy, strong people who are leading us? Would that be too much to ask? Like, do we have to elevate the sickest, weakest people in society to the top and then be like, no, we have to let them tell us what to do. We have to, because they're so sick. But ice cream is the only food that doesn't have histamines. Biden has to keep eating it or else he'll die.

When when a Chinese emperor would like break his leg or something, they would melt him because they were like, OK, it's done. He's like lost the mandate of heaven. And they were right. They invented, you done. He's like lost the mandate of heaven and they were right. They invented, uh, you know, gasoline is fuel 5,000 years ago. They were doing things right. We're doing everything wrong. Like Kate, Kate Middleton is she's not going to kill herself because

people were, were mean about this. Her life is already misery. She was her parents only had her so she could get married to a guy who looks like a sort of like palette swap Lamar Odom. What a waste. What a waste to have that be your way to move up in society in the 2020s to move from the gentry to the royal family. Is that going to exist in like 30 years?

Is it like once Charles dies, are people going to let this still happen? If we're going through like a year of four emperors with the British royal family, and then it's going to end up with like a three year old child king. How is that going to exist? Like, there's no way that exists by 2050. There's, there's decent odds for like, they're being a monarch who made her name on the USA network. I think he just got to call it at this point.

Like we're done. No more of this. Yeah. What's the point. We, and we can't even see him or hear from them. They're too sick to do anything. None of them will come out in public. You can't take pictures of them. Okay. What are we paying them to do anything. None of them will come out in public. You can't take pictures of them.

Okay, what are we paying them to do then? It's some guy in a house? That's their only thing. Like all they do. You wave to people. That's your job. Yeah, we're opening a Tesco in this town. Will you come and cut the ribbon? Oh, I started a charity where I teach veterans who lost their arms. How did you double sticks? OK, I'll cut the ribbon there.

If you can't do that. OK, well, you you know what? You're not a very good royal. Time to work at Tesco, then. Yeah, they're hiring. It's like, oh, can King Charles come out, you know, just like outside the gates of Buckingham Palace, like knocking dirt off your cap, just sort of, you know, like twisting your foot in

the gravel. Can he come out and wave to us, please? Can Kate Middleton not be dead? Can Kate Middleton not be a hologram? Please? We want our own family. But yeah, it's just, I just think the fact that there's five different fucking articles telling everyone how ashamed they should be for laughing at this, it's just like, there are real problems in the world, grow up. Yeah, I don't care. Yeah, I just, yeah.

I mean, I guess it's great healthcare. To have that much fucking cancer in one family, would be, was Buckingham Palace built over like a uranium mine or something? Yeah, it's like, it's hard not to conclude that this is like an explicitly dysgenic thing that we're like, we're trying to medically create the worst. Like genetic people we can, they just have only bad genes and only health problems. And then we elevate them. It's very strange.

Like when the when the Spanish did that, the line died out. Think about being Kate Middleton and Williams kids. It's like your grandfather has cancer and those big hands, the big Oh, his sausage fingers are so disturbing. Yeah, he's the rings on his fucking

fingers. They look like they're struggling. Yeah. He's going for dear life. He has a natural big foam. Number one hand. And imagine getting the royal touch. House of Sax gotha. Number one magic. He exercised premonocle and just finger blasted and it ruined my wife's pussy.

Yeah. And nodded up like a dog. The fucking tips at club fingers. You can't pull it out. Think about how much cancer is in those kids' genes. That sucks. Your grandfather, your mom, your dad's bald. It's all really unfortunate.

It sucks. I feel bad for them. Harry's the only one to escape this because he's not actually related to Charles. He's got a full head of hair. He's loving life in America. He's fucking having a great time over here. I've warmed on Harry ever since like it really annoyed me when him and

Megan Megan McCain were like Megan McCartel. No Like they were like we're gonna do a podcast on mental health when they started doing that. I was like shut the fuck up But ever since they said they were gonna do it and accepted the money for it and then never did it That I completely reversed my opinion. I really liked how they did that Also, they objectively have mentor better mental health than anyone else in that royal family Yeah, they're public and they go outside and public and do stuff. Yeah. And again, like where was all, you know, remember the Prince Andrew interview? I mean,

Netflix just made a fucking movie out of it. But like, at what point does the royal family like lose any pretense of credibility? Like the fucking, another heir to the crown of England went on TV and said, a doctor told him he had a condition where he can't sweat. And we're all just supposed to be like, oh, OK, normal. I think we should just leave this family alone. It's private. You know, this is you know, we shouldn't take too much glory in the downfall of others. It's just like, no, like these people are liars and also are reptiles, probably. I don't think it's cancer.

I think there's just another egg is hatching. And they're German. Yep. They're not even English. That is the biggest thing about all this whenever you look at them It's like are were these really the best Germans you could find you couldn't find anyone better in all of Germany Ludwig von Beethoven is not walking through that door Well, moving on to the last article for today. Here's a person that we probably could find someone better, but there's no one else. I'm talking about James Carville, the Rage-in-Cajun in a profile by

Maureen Dowd of the New York Times titled, The Cajun Who Won't Stop Raging. I've wanted him to stop for so long now, but he just keeps at it. It's really overselling. Like it makes you sound like he's going to be like Dr. John or something. He's going to be a big fish gumbo in a swamp. Yeah. He's just some guy wearing a suit on CNN. Yeah. He's just still doing politics on CNN. Yeah. Just talking on the fucking TV. But he's still at it. So we get a little color from James Carville and his colorful life. Maureen Dowd writes, a few years ago when James Carville was teaching at Louisiana State University, he heard that one of his students had gotten into the school of her dreams to

work on an advanced degree. He wanted to toast her. I get a $25 champagne and four plastic flutes, he recalled, and I say to the students, all right, you're not going to get out of James Carville's class unless you know how to properly open a bottle of champagne. I said, here's what you're going to do. You don't pop it like this. You see in the movies you're going to poke someone's eye out.

You take the foil off. Now you're going to take the dishcloth and you're going to execute the classic counterclockwise movement. The bottle is going to go one way. The cork is going to go the other. You just ease it out. And the sound that you're looking for is the sigh of a satisfied woman. The next Tuesday the Dean comes into my office and said, I'm closing the door. We need to have a talk. A female student had complained

about the sighing line. Can't even do this at LSU anymore. So he's giving his students alcohol? Well, you know, it's probably maybe it's a graduate class. I'm assuming they're of age, but this is Louisiana. This is Louisiana, Alex. If the rage and Cajun can't get his students drunk and make jokes about pussy popping, then like, you know, what has this world kind of... I'm agreeing with him here. I think he's only getting in trouble because the type of person that would voluntarily take a class taught by James Carville has got to be the most annoying fucking, like, the most annoying rats on the planet. So the fact that one of them bit his hand is another, another scorpion and frog situation as far as I'm concerned.

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. It's also like, what the fuck do you think you're going to learn from James Carville class in 2020? Yeah. How to have Ross Perot run for president. That's the secret. The success he's he's just like, you have to triangulate on issues. Okay. You're the only guy that could tell me this.

You have to be a real dope to sign up for that class. But, uh, he says here, uh, uh, he said the Dean said a female student had complained about the sighing line. He wanted to mutter to the Dean. Her boyfriend never heard that sound, but he simply said, okay, I'll endeavor to do better. I love this, like, Marine Dowd is giving him an opportunity to like actually do the George Costanza thing where it's like the jerk star called,

the they're out of you. After like in the moment he was like, well, I wanted to say something cool and funny, but I slunk away like a coward. But now I'm gonna relive, I'm gonna get the chance to pop off to this dean, this crusty old dean in sort of Delta house style. I bet her boyfriend never heard that sound. But this is the rage and Cajun we're talking about. So do better really meant go further. He says, I went back in the classroom and I told the Gilbert Godfrey

joke from The Aristocrats, Carville continued. I said, girl, you wanted to get me in trouble. This is what you do when all is lost and you're up against the wall. Of course, it's the grossest joke ever. That's like a 20 minute joke. Yeah. I remember. Yeah. It talks about fisting a baby in that joke. Yeah. He was a, he had a great career. He was some of the most offensive shit anyone's ever said ever. And somehow he kept getting these radio jobs. Like he was the Aflac guy. And then he got fired from Aflac for making jokes about the Fukushima tsunami thing.

That happened like ten different times. He used to be the spokesman for Miracle Whip and then he got fired for something. I think it was for something about like Pee-wee Herman jacking off that he said on TV. He was in all those like, you know, that type of like gas station movie, like Kung Fu Panda and shit like that. If they asked him to do it, he would say yes. Yeah, he was in all kinds of movies like that.

Yeah, The Parrot from Aladdin. And then also like, he just said so many things I could not repeat here. My favorite is in the aristocrats. It shows a clip from where he did the joke at Hugh Hefner's roast, which took place a week after 9-11. And his first joke up there as he gets on stage and says, I'm sorry I'm late. My flight missed its connection at the Empire State Building. Which is very good. But Cardwell continues, this was L.S. freaking you, not Oberlin. He said it was terrible. I wouldn't take the co-eds

to dinner after class. I would only take the male students. I was scared to death in my job. I was like, I don't need LSU's money. I don't need to drive up there and listen to that crap. I just said, that's it. I'm done. This is not for me. So it's back to television for the raging Cajun. He's so cool in range. When you're that closely associated with Bill Clinton, you do give you a little more scrutiny to stuff like giving women a third of your age alcohol. People start to give you the side eye a little bit like what's up man and they're kind of right to do that. And back to your point about the raging Cajun, the fact that he hasn't strangled his wife to death shows that this man does not have an ounce of anger in his body. He just has, he just wants

to tell dirty body stories in a stupid accent on cable TV. He's fine, he has no anger issues whatsoever. Going on it says, if you were going to ask me what I'd want the title of the documentary about my life to be, it would be When Politics Was Fun, he said. There was actually a time when people loved doing this. People would go out. They'd drink. They'd talk to everybody. They'd leak stories. Generally, when it was over, you'd go sit with the other side and have drinks together. You'd go sit with the niece of the other side who's a 17 year old girl. You'd have drinks with her and gossip. So it's all just drinking?

Yeah, just being drunk. It's a memoir of just alcoholic, a life. Oh, politics guys love that. Politics guys think the craziest thing is when you do shots. Like John McCain. Or smoke a cigar. Yeah, John McCain loved that. craziest thing is when you had when you do like shots like John McCain, smoke a cigar. Yeah, John McCain loved that. Oh, I did shots with Hillary Clinton. What what what else did like mutual was their mutual masturbation or something? Did

you guys like randomly attack a passerby? That's all you did. You just did shots. That's what you wanted to tell us about. But you know, the politics now, Carville said, is filled with hatred and doctrinaire positions. I mean, that is the thing when you do actually believe in something to the little heart that to play grab bass with the other side. But yeah, that's what's going on. Saying that shit. Yeah.

Like it reminds me of 2010, like the Obamacare era, when you you would hear that on MSNBC every day. Like back in the day, Ted Kennedy used to go out to dinner with Strom Thurmond and blah, blah, blah. They would kill women together. And then, and that was just a normal thing to say. And it's like, you're just implicitly saying, none of this matters.

None of this matters at all. Where everyone liked each other at the end of the day because they were all working for the's about me and my thing. Yeah, me and my fat old white guy friends drinking and having fun. Yeah, it's it's an extension of people who are like, I wish Congress would just stop arguing. I wish everybody would just smile and hug each other and have fun. Like, like they should stop arguing.

Not that there are people who like believe different things. Like it should be a what it should be a practical one party state like Japan. Uh, so it says here, Hubert Humphrey used to describe himself as the happy warrior. He said, if somebody said, I'm a happy guy right now, they'd go, what's wrong with that guy? Don't you realize there's evil in the world? There are a lot of good people on the left that would rather lose and be pure because it makes them feel good it makes them feel superior Carville said fucking idiot don't be a loser be like Hubert Humphrey

what the guy who cried more than anyone yeah the guy who was like LBJ but he didn't get stuff done. And he was like, people didn't respect him as much. The kicker here is he says that there's a lot of people on the left that would rather lose and be pure because it makes them feel good. It makes them feel superior, Carville said. And that, he said, is how you end up with dobs. No, your fucking wife is how we end up with dobs, James Carville. I mean, all the people you've been having fun sharing gossip and drinks with have been working to criminalize abortion for the last

40 or 50 years and your inability to do anything about them because you like them personally is the reason we have dobs. Not that like people are angry about, yeah, people today, they're too angry about abortion being criminalized, but you see, that like people are angry about yeah people today now they're still angry about abortion being criminalized but you see that's how you got dobs is that people were angry about this or like you know they would rather be pure than than I don't know. Isn't that the most popular issue the Democrats have? Yeah yes yes yes.

It's like taking a hard line on that like what yeah isn't that this guy's a political strategist? Yeah well listen to some of his Democrats should compromise on abortion right now. That's his argument. We saying that like there are people who feel they want to be pure so they don't make compromises. So that's how you end up with things like Dobbs. And it's like, it seems like the Republicans are the ones that are only pure and never compromise and it seems like they get everything or they seems like they do a lot better about

achieving the things that they'd like to accomplish like criminalizing abortion He says here he thinks Donald Trump's voters see him as akin to King Cyrus or King David in the Bible a flawed messenger So it's best to use a biblical narrative about betrayal We're gonna get into some 4d chess Machiavelli shit here If you say you dumb son of a bitch, how are you gonna to ever think of this fat, slimy, rapist, criminal racist should be president? They're going to recoil, he said. I think Democrats should say, look, you believed in him.

You felt like you weren't being seen. You were being culturally excluded, but he betrayed you. You thought he was going to be for you and helping you, but he was really for TikTok and tax cuts for the rich. This is this is the winning. That's his message. His message to be Trump is Trump likes TikTok. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm sorry. That's right.

That is that is the correct position to have on TikTok that Trump has. Because he says if we ban TikTok, it's just going to benefit Facebook. Yeah, which is true. And all the liberals are just on board with that. That's like a normal thing for all these, these respectable liberals who are just like tut tut scolding everybody for being on their phones and stuff. Like, oh, we should just ban tik tok. Don't you want to ban tik tok? And

that's just fucking insanity. That's insanity to the average person. Like you're just gonna ban an app. Yeah, an app that's that's popular in the world, a lot of people get their information from so like, you know, that, and especially when you're saying like, ban an app. Oh yeah, an app that's that's popular in the world. A lot of people get their information from. So like, you know, and especially when you're saying like, oh, it's, it's because of disinformation and that's what we have to ban it. Like that makes whatever disinformation is on TikTok seem far more credible to people that you're like worried about being misinformed or something.

But I want to talk about like the second, the second part of his thing where he says he, you thought he was going to be helping you, but he was really for TikTok and tax cuts to the rich. Now, I agree that like the Trump tax cuts are probably these, next to Dobbs, probably the most consequential piece of domestic policy from the Trump administration. Well, Dobbs happened under Biden. Whatever. Yeah, it's the most consequential piece of domestic policy under the Trump administration. And I think the Democrats should do a way better job about like making, making tax cuts and you know, like when you say people hate corporations getting tax cuts, but here's the problem. To the Trump voters, to the people that Carville

is trying to speak to, the issue of tax cuts for the rich is never salient and can never be sort of grafted onto a populist culture war kind of message because they are like they all think that a they are rich themselves or B are going to be rich one day. So that when you say Trump cut taxes and it didn't help you. I don't think like the people who he's talking about think that way. So his solution to Biden is to run on banning the app that everyone likes, forget about abortion, and focus on the economy. It's the economy, stupid.

Biden's top issue, the economy. We get some more delightful Cajun color here. He offered a bawdy metaphor about President Biden's shaky approval ratings. When I look at these polling numbers, it's like walking in on your grandma naked. You can't get the image out of your mind. What I don't get about that is when you're looking at polling numbers, it's like walking in on your grandma naked. You can't get the image out of your mind. And what I don't get about that is when you're looking at polling numbers, that's not really an image.

It's in your mind. You just like numbers on a piece of paper. It's like, seeing my grandmother's pussy, I can't get it out of my mind. Yeah, one might say that numbers are one of the things that are definitely not images. Yeah, I guess. I don't think he's lying. I think he did see his grandma's pussy,

and it does stay in his mind forever because it's coming to mind for stuff that's completely unrelated. That's just an intrusive thought he's had for 70 years. He's got like a briefcase filled with polling numbers and then just Polaroids of old ladies. He's like, oh, wait, I got my papers misaligned. He also says he told CNN's Dana Bash that Biden, quote, is like a mosquito in a nudist colony.

It's hard to pick a target, but you got to pick one and go after it. He ought to tell Bibi Netanyahu to shut his stupid pie hole, Carville added. He's got to understand how much money the United States has sent to Israel during his prime ministership. See, finally, he's talking facts. He's talking sense here. But you got to pick one hole and stick with it. That's what I've always said. And he should stick it in Bibi Netanyahu's pie hole.

That's what I agree. And I think that would help him in the polls. But then, lately, he has been obsessed with Biden bleeding black male voters. A suspicion of mine is that there are too many preachy females dominating the culture of his party. Don't drink beer, don't watch football, don't eat hamburgers. This is not good for you. The message is too feminine.

Everything you're doing is destroying the planet. Who is saying that? Joe Biden is the opposite of that. That's the entire thing we're doing here. It's the cool guy with the Mustang who talks about the seventies and how we used to be macho and cool and he loves barbecues that we're already doing that. Like we don't have Elizabeth Warren as president. They got Obama involved specifically so we could do this.

Like that, that was the entire point. It was a guy who predated all of this and You're never gonna have to hear about the news and yeah socks dick at doing that there There have been more articles than ever. There's a fucking article about a brain Podcaster who cheated too many times. That's not less articles who cheated too many times. That's not less articles. He's supposed to be blue collar Joe from Scranton. And we're like, I guess he's not blue collar enough.

Like who are we supposed to get? Who is the guy we're supposed to have? Who is the ideal candidate that we need? The blue collar guy who's more blue collar than Joe Biden. Who is that? I understand like there's sort of like a cultural stereotype about liberals that they're sort of scolding and sanctimonious. They're like, Oh, don't watch football. Don't eat hamburger.

But like who in the like, official Democratic Party media apparatus is making the case for no burger, no football? Yeah, I don't know. AOC, I guess. But that's sort of become polarized in the opposite direction now, where you have a lot of people on the right who are turning against sports, where it's too black and it's too woke and people kneel and it's like the bread and circuses and men should be out in the woods chopping down trees and doing jujitsu and masculine endeavors and listening to the neuroscience podcast. They're also getting a burger is also on the chopping block because you can eat burger just as long as it's not cooked or has or have a bun to hold it together. Burger is still okay provided

it's raw. I just want to get to the end here though. He says he disagrees with Democrats who claim there's been too much attention on Biden's age. If you do a focus group, he said, the first thing out of anyone's mouth is old. So how do you say we're going to act like this doesn't exist? So I mean, once again, he's not completely out to lunch here. But he also says, he said most of the criticism of Kamala Harris is misogynistic. Dude, a paragraph earlier you were saying that the message was too feminine and woke. And now you're saying criticism of Kamala Harris reeks of misogyny. He says, but added, she reminds me of this great baseball player.

He got arms that big. Can't wait to see the guy. He takes three pitches and walks back to the dugout. What? I don't. That was his. His summary of Kamala Harris is that criticism of her is misogyny, but also she's like, uh, like, you know, uh, the Yankees line up in the playoffs, just three

swings and then they walk back to the dugout. Well, she doesn't walk back. They shuffle her away. She dances. They limit her exposure on purpose. And I wish they wouldn't. I wish she would be president. I want her to be the next president.

It would be so fun. Yeah. She's been awesome lately. Did you see her dancing in Puerto Rico to the song that was officially about Yankee imperialism and her interpreter had to tell her and then she was like immediately stops doing her little Kamala trap call quest to pop. We can have that every day for four years. Yeah. You know, we thought Biden would be hilarious all the time, but no, they, they keep them, they keep them in like a cage. They give him like drugs to make them more boring. He stopped calling people fat like as a given name, uh, Kamala though. I never thought of her as like hilarious, you know, five, five, six years ago,

but she's really like she's great. She's really things have really picked up since like, you know, they've tortured her by giving her the worst jobs in the administration. Oh, it doesn't make me like nostalgic for the bygone era when Biden actually had to pretend to campaign and then we've got amazing moments like President Trump. President Trump was on January 6. It was like when no one knew what was happening, like for all people knew they had killed everyone in the Capitol and they're like, Joe Biden, we need to hear from you.

You need to restore sanity. And he said, president old trunk. I think like Biden's not as funny as he could be as president, but he's funnier than the alternative, which is us never seeing him again. Yeah. That's why I wanted him to win because if he didn't win, we would never see him again, it would be like he was dead. So we wouldn't have heard any of that.

We would have missed all of the situation. Yeah. Yeah. It's I am. It's better to like have President Trump and lost than to have never had it. I agree. And it's like we already got all the funny Trump stuff, you know? Yeah. Another 50 years. Term two. Yeah.

Better to have listened fat and lost than never to have listened fat at all. That's the thing. I think that look fat gave us like a false idea of how funny it was going to be. But like to be fair, that was one of the funniest things. Yeah, it was pretty good. Him on the campaign was great. I can't believe he won. It's so insane. Very weird. I don't understand it. And you're right. I don't understand it. And you're right. I think like a second Trump administration, like he did all of his best material in the first four years. It's like the act is getting a little stale. So President Kamala though, because like they couldn't hide her all the time, you know, like she

would have, she would need to be out there all the time. Cause you know, there's no excuse. She's like, you know, of able body and mind. Yeah. They can't send her to the border. She needs to be out front and center. I want to hear what she has to say. Right. You're a nice long speech from her uninterrupted. What's great about her is like it's not a physiological problem.

They can tamper with drugs and stuff. She just genuinely is one of the weirdest people alive. There's nothing they could do. If Biden wants to win, he should promise that he'll die day one. Yeah, like seppuku. That's what that's why ritual suicide was invented to save face and restore honor. And that is the only solution for Joe Biden in the Democratic Party at this point. And like Hunter could be his second to perform the killing blow that behelds him. No, one of those dogs. Oh yeah. He puts the sword in and then one of

the dogs commander comes up and just bites into his jugular. He just bites his throat out. Yeah. That's a great idea. That's the way to go. I do like the idea of him and Hunter doing like a sort of geriatric and middle-aged lone wolf and Cobb. He's pushing around in a shopping cart. Yeah. Yeah. We're the countryside. 52 years old.

Oh my God. That would be awesome. We should get to see him if Biden wins. That should be the reward that we get to see him if Biden wins. That should be the reward that we get to see Hunter all the time. Yeah, we never get any Hunter. Like this has really been a fucking let down.

There have been some funny moments. I mean, the whole impeachment thing just was such a fucking dud. They had nothing going there. I saw a story the other day about some sort of like Trump-aligned pastor that is handing out like USB thumb drives to all of his parishioners that just contain the contents of Hunter Biden's laptop. And he's referring to it as the laptop from hell. It's like the oldest vault in the world, the laptop from hell. And I'm just like the

laptop from hell. Like if you were to think about like content that's on a hard drive, it's like unspeakable. I would not just think of like, some like invoices from Ukrainian gas crimes and then just like getting your dick sucked and doing cocaine. Yeah, yeah, just videos, just videos of him like lip syncing to the weekend. That's the real me. Yeah, that's what all the hundred Biden laptop stuff is like.

Yeah, really funny. It is funny to see like a 51 year old who has kids being like suck MCs can't go against me. He's listening to like Grandmaster Flash. It's really it's really cool. You know, I always thought it was weird how like no one got on Joe for like, um, not acknowledging like 50 of hunters, 3000 illegitimate kids. It's like those are your grandkids.

Yeah. There should be the heirs. Yeah. We don't really have an air. We can have a, no one ever really have an air. We don't know what. No one ever really gets on his ass over that. We should have like an a war in this country fought over, you know, Hunter Biden's legally recognized and natural born sons who gets the Rehoboth Beach House. And there'll be a war fought in Delaware over

this. Oh, be like the Ottomans when the Sultan dies. Yes. Oh, oh, oh, it could be called. Hunter might like getting strangled with a silk scarf a little too much. It could be called the Crack Fire Rebellion. Ooh. Listeners of the show will know the Blackfire Rebellion from Game of Thrones. That was a war fought over the bastards of the Targaryens, I think. All right. I think that does it for today's episode. Do we have any plugs or business to attend to at the end of the Targaryens, I think. All right, I think that does it for today's episode.

Do we have any plugs or business to attend to at the end of the episode? We haven't mentioned it in a bit, but the whole crew's going to be at Jacques' show pig show in LA in a lodge room next week, but I think that's the only thing on the horizon right now. And also, we're going to have a very fun, very special episode on Thursday, so stay tuned.

Well, actually, it's a slight problem with that. I am traveling on Thursday. I just realized that. So can we push that episode to Friday? OK. The next episode should be a fun special episode whenever it comes out. Sorry about that.

All right. Talk about it out there. Until next time, everybody. Bye bye. Thanks again to Alex for filling in today. Yeah, thank about it after. Bye bye, thanks again to Alex for filling in today. Thank you, Alex. I'll wait for you at the bridge. Where can I wait if my mother is not here? Where can I wait if I'm not going to wait for you.

I'm going to wait for you. I'm going to wait for you. I'm going to wait for you. I'm going to wait for you. I'm going to wait for you. I'm going to wait for you. I'm going to wait for you. you