Chapo Trap House - 826 - University Challenge feat. Basil Zacharia Rodriguez (4/23/24)

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

Will interviews Basil Zacharia Rodriguez, an activist and student at Columbia University involved with Columbia Justice in Palestine (SJP) and Columbia University Apartheid Divest (CUAD) about the ongoing demonstrations taking place there. They discuss the goals of the protests, the media response, and the University’s economic interests in both Palestinian occupation and displacing New Yorkers in Harlem. Then, Amber and Felix join to continue the discussion of the media freak-out over campus activism, as well as the trial of Donald Trump, and two reading series exploring the sexual pathologies of Spectator columnists and Rabbi Shmuley. Tickets to Will & Hesse’s Movie Mindset screening & talkback of Death Wish 3 in NYC on May 4: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/chapo-trap-houses-movie-mindset-screening-of-death-wish-3-w-will-hesse-tickets-877569192077

Hello, everybody. Will here. Obviously, as we begin this week, much of the countries and world's attention has been focused on Upper Manhattan and Columbia University. And I've been pulling my hair out, seeing the ongoing protests and arrests covered in the media. So I thought for my own sanity, I would talk to one of the Columbia students currently at Columbia, currently camped out and occupying the campus for Palestine. So I'm thrilled to welcome to the show, Basil Zakariya Rodriguez, a student organizer at Quad and the Palestinian Students Union.

Basil, welcome to the show. Thanks so much for having me. Basil, I can see from my camera here you are you currently in the quad of Columbia right now? Yes. So we are on the West Lawn right now at the solidarity encampment. And I think you brought up a really great point that a lot of the attention has been on upper Manhattan when in fact, all our organizers and protesters here are here solely

for the reason of the ongoing genocide in Gaza and in Palestine so we really want to shift attention away from upper Manhattan and towards Palestine towards the liberation struggle that is ongoing and towards stopping the ongoing genocide which has killed over 40,000 Palestinians in the past seven months alone. I mean, Basel, I said, like, I've been pulling my hair out watching the media coverage of this because now the Upper West Side of Manhattan is now apparently the most violent and dangerous

place on earth. As I'm seeing, you know, three or four columns down news about mass graves being uncovered outside every hospital in Gaza right now. So like, thank you for clarifying this. But I guess I just want to get started because you just tell our listeners a little bit about yourself, where you're from, and how you got involved in the divestment campaign at Columbia. Yeah, so my name is Basil and I'm a Palestinian-Chicanx person who grew up in California and in Mexico and Baja California. I got involved in organizing for Palestine generationally. I come from generations of

Palestinians who have been organizing for the liberation of Palestine and the Palestinian people and for our full freedom and human rights. And I would say that my personal organizing has been escalating specifically since 2021, which is when my aunt who was a Palestinian journalist, her name was Shadid Abu Akhde, was brutally executed by the Israeli army while she was doing her job reporting on encroaching settler colonialism in Jenin. So did you say Shireen Abu Akhla was your aunt?

Yes, my mother's cousin. Oh, wow. Okay. Jesus. I'm really sorry about your loss. I think that was a sort of an eye-opening moment that happened a couple months before October 7th You know the the full-on assassination of a US citizen and journalist in the occupied West Bank obviously

People's attention or focus on Columbia right now and the actions of the Columbia administration And calling the NYPD in to disperse these encampments on the Columbia campus. As best you can describe it, what has the last week or so been like for you and your fellow organizers and activists at Columbia University? So I would say that the past week has been a whirlwind for all our student organizers and student protesters. The Gaza Solidarity enccampment popped up on Wednesday and we had been organizing a series of teach-ins of speakers and

actions all focused on ending Columbia University's complicity and financial profit from the ongoing genocide in Gaza. So it's been eye-opening to see how strongly the university is attached to maintaining the saddest quo of war profiteering from the genocide of our people. It has been like nothing else we have ever seen before. The mass arrest of over hundreds of student protesters who were peacefully protesting, even according to the fascist NYPD. So even according to the most fascist

entity it was Columbia that misstepped in arresting mass peaceful protesters. So it really just shows us how truly complicit they are in profiting, financially profiting millions of dollars off of the mass murder of the Palestinian people. And this is a fundamental heartbreak and dehumanizing campaign that they are involved in. I'll ask you a question that I sort of addressed rhetorically on the episode we recorded yesterday, of which your interview will be featured in. The last time the NYPD was called in to disperse student encampments and protests was in 1968, during the Vietnam War, and there was like the Columbia Liberated Zone. I've seen like a banner,

you know, sort of repurposed in 2024. But I'm wondering, like, as a student at Columbia, how much like that experience in 1968 of that student anti-war activism has been glorified or at least canonized as part of Columbia's history? And what do you think accounts for, you know, administrators who pride themselves on Columbia's history of anti-war activism, calling in the NYPD again? And because like 1968, that was considered a disaster for Columbia and something that like, you know, that they chained them and that the like that they've since like, I don't know, they've now sort of, like

I said, sanctified the student activism of the 60s and 70s, and now are treating you and your fellow students like criminals and terrorists because of your anti-war activism. What do you think accounts for this disparity between like the sanctifying of anti-Vietnam war protests and the criminalization and demonization, the anti-war protests that are going on now? I mean, I think it's incredibly telling a capitalist institution, an imperialist institution that we'll never be on the side of the people until we pressure them, until we force their hand. And once, you know, once any semblance of divestment

or liberation or victory for the liberation movement is reached, we know in the future they will co-opt our movement and they will say, you know, we were here the whole time, we were advocating for social justice the whole time. But it is telling because Columbia has these supposed ethics, these written out values of community safety, of inclusivity, while they are opening a university campus in occupied Palestine in Tel Aviv, which Palestinian students will not be able to access by the nature of the apartheid state. So in that way Colombia

is inherently contradictory to their own supposed values of inclusivity and of desegregation ultimately. So I think that it's really interesting there are classes on this campus about the 1968 protests and meanwhile they are, you know, once again falling into the same normalized routine of state violence against student protesters. I think it also really brings up the conversation of how Palestine is and will always be the exception because Palestine represents an indigenous struggle that fundamentally destabilizes the legitimacy of settler colonial states. And by that nature, even while glorifying the 1968 protests, the anti-war protests,

they will continue to shut us down and try to repress us, try to silence us because they are making financial gain off of the genocide. Now, what is the current status of your fellow students who have been either arrested or suspended? Can you give us any update on the status of their enrollment or, you know, like, assume they're out on bail now or have been released? What is the ongoing status of these suspensions and arrests at the Columbia campus? Yeah, so they have all been released, thankfully, but the arrests are ongoing across New York against student protesters and our own students are still traumatized. They are still healing from the brutality that Columbia has enforced on them and the NYPD has enforced on them. People's shoulders were dislocated,

people's fingers were fractured, people were severely injured, both physically and psychologically. And so there is a great deal of healing and reparations to continue to have, that needs to happen. As for the school side of things, people are sort of in limbo. There have been mass suspensions happening.

People have been forcibly evicted from their homes with no prior notice. And so they weren't able to access any of their belongings that they need to live day to day. Their IDs were deactivated, meaning they cannot access the campus that they pay tuition money to. So it's just these levels of repression are just, you know, as you said, unprecedented since the 60s and truly damning. And we see right through their

attempts to silence us for the complicit war profiteers that they are. Well, I mean, their attempts to silence you, I mean, not to be giving free advice to the Columbia University administration or anything, but their attempts to silence these protests or clear it out or arrest you have not only backfired on Columbia's campus, but have now spread to NYU, Yale, University of Michigan, elite institutions all over the country. What you've started at Columbia, these encampments are cropping up everywhere now. Have you been in contact with any student organizers at NYU? Their encampment was just, they were under mass arrests at NYU last night. But just in terms

of how badly the administration's attempt to quash You know peaceful protests and police peaceful political anti-war protests on an American University Could you give a sense of just how badly this is backfired for them? This is Disgusting it is so inhumane to expose their very own students to the levels of state violence which they have in the past week and the student movement has been mobilized and has escalated in a way that really shows that the students are appalled at our own universities which are meant to be places of education in their financial

and their material and psychological investment in the colonization of Palestine. And I think it also really speaks to the nature of American schooling and the history of American educational institutions, which are to ultimately legitimize the settler colonial state of the US.S. and to rationalize the dehumanization and the white supremacy which are written into the U.S.'s legal system. We began this conversation talking about how like the eyes of America are focused on upper Manhattan and not Palestine and Gaza right now. But I'm interested like, you know, so much of the media coverage of these protests have been this, like, wholly invented out of, you know, thin air, the accusations of, quote, horrific anti-Semitism.

How do you do as a movement, like, exercise a kind of message discipline to, like, you know, the natural human instinct to want to defend yourself from these sort of outrageous calumny's of, like, you and many of your fellow, like fellow like Jewish students and activists that you are violently anti-Semitic. Like, how do you balance a need to like to want to respond to, you know, like I said, outrageous slanders like that? And you know, like as you as you said in the beginning of this conversation, desperately trying to keep it focused that no, this is about the ongoing genocide of people in Gaza. I think that that's exactly what we just have to do is, you know, we don't have to internalize anything that is said about us that is untrue. This is a movement for liberation for

life. It's a movement to stop genocide, which has killed more than 40,000 Palestinians just in the Gaza Strip over the last seven months. As these slanderous reports are coming out focused on upper Manhattan, we've been hearing heartbreaking, truly heartbreaking reports coming out of the Nasr Hospital in Gaza where more than, I want to say more than 200 people were found whose bodies were so inhumanely disposed of as though they weren't human and their organs were robbed, their skin was robbed, stolen for Israel's skin bank, which is the largest skin bank in the world. This level of dehumanizing in this year is unacceptable. So we will not be silenced with

slander. We will not let our voices be sidelined to slander and we will continue to seek Palestine as our compass for liberation and look towards the Palestinian people who have been telling us what they have endured for years and years and years and generations upon generations. So we're just gonna say enough is enough. We're not gonna respond to slander.

We're just going to stay focused on our messaging and people will listen to us. I mean, it's it's it's an object lesson in what the U.S. state media considers violence or aggression. And I think they've all decided that violence and aggression is found by, you know, protests at a college campus and not mass murder being funded by the US government. But I want to take that as a jumping off point. As Basel, as someone who has a family connection to Palestine and like has sort of come up

in this struggle for, or in like the activism on behalf of Palestine, which was like for years like, you know, shouting into the darkness in this country, I feel it felt like. But like, I also said on the same episode that I feel like these arrests and like how heavy-handed and counter, and really like even damaging to their own institutions these arrests have been, they're doing it to avoid losing an argument. Because I feel like last year, you know, if you had said Israel is a violent apartheid state, there would be a ton of arguments that people could muster and be like, oh no, it's not really like that, it's not so simple, you're simply misinformed, or that's anti-Semitic,

or whatever, but over the last six months, I just doesn't seem to me like there are many arguments left to deny what's going on, and I just really feel like that that is like, there's no more argument to be had. So the arrests start happening. Yeah, I think that is an accurate analysis. I think that the truth of what is happening in Palestine has never been more clear, has never been so undeniable. And for the school to not even engage with us and to just jump to arresting a protest that, again,

even the most disgusting entity of the NYPD said was a peaceful protest and had no threat to anyone. For them to arrest and brutalize students, their own students, who are enraged and heartbroken at all of our own inherent complicity, not only as citizens of the US, but also as students at Columbia University in making the 1% even more money off of genocide.

It just shows their true colors in a way that is, again, undeniable. I guess my next question would be, obviously, the actions of the Columbia University administration are one thing, but how do you assess the actions, support or lack thereof, depending on who you ask? How do you assess the actions, support, or lack thereof, depending on who you ask? How do you assess Columbia's faculty, your professors? How have they responded to the actions of the administration?

Yeah, I think there's been a mix of responses. I think that people have to sort of come to terms with their own positionality in the movement and come to terms with their own positionality in the movement and come to terms with their own complicity in the movement. But a lot of professors have stood by us. Professors at NYU were even arrested for putting their bodies on the line to physically protect students.

So there are professors here with us in the encampment. There are professors on our de-escalation team ready to, you know, try to de-escalate potential white supremacists who try to come through and attack people, which has been happening in the past week. But there are also professors who I think are comfortable in their, you know, salaried position and who don't want to risk anything. And I think that what happened on last Wednesday

has opened people's eyes up a bit to the fact that no one is safe on this campus. And that is because of the fact that this campus is a battleground which makes profit from weapons, weapons that are used to kill our own students' family members. And as professors, they are legitimizing that as an institutional right, which it is fundamentally not. It is not a right for any school to also be making money off of weapons and off of genocide, especially of the Palestinian people who are

students, are professors at this institution. So I think there's a mix of professors who are, you know, standing with us physically, professors who are really helping us all hands in. Then there are professors who are, you know, they kind of agree with us. They agree people should have free speech, but they aren't really standing with us in the way we need them to. And then there are professors who are outright attacking people. So there's a big attacking protesters attacking Palestinians is what I mean.

So there's a big range. Well, yeah, you mentioned the money involved here. And I think something to keep in mind about an institution like Columbia or NYU specifically is that Columbia and NYU are in addition to being world-class universities, they're also the single largest landowners in the city of New York. They have real estate holdings that are unimaginable in the island of Manhattan, and they have endowments in the billions and billions of dollars. So like how does this money play into their like their special relationship with Israel and particularly very well-heeled donors like Robert Kraft, for instance, who's now saying,

hey, I'm cutting off the spigot to Colombia if they don't, you know, get rid of these anti-Israel protesters. It's just like, but I mean, like, does Columbia really need all that fucking money? Like, I mean, they could sell one building and probably pay for the loss of Robert Kraft's donations. Right. This is a crucial point that we cannot miss because Columbia University is the the largest landowner in New York City. And, you know, as I said earlier,

Palestine is a struggle that connects to everywhere. It's an indigenous sovereignty struggle. So if we think about our own indigenous people here, as well as native Harlemites here, native people who grew up in Harlem, there is mass level of settler colonialism in the form of gentrification happening because of Columbia University. They have plans to expand from 116th all the way to 180th Street. They want to make all of that Columbia University. So

if you think about the homes that would be destroyed and bulldozed over, if you think about the people who would be kicked out, the families who have grown up there their whole lives, this is very very parallel to what they're doing in Palestine, where they want to build a Columbia campus in Palestine, bulldozing over generations of Palestinians who have been there their whole life. So these struggles are interconnected and as student organizers, we are specifically calling for the end of Columbia University settler colonialism in Palestine and their settler colonialism in Harlem and in New York. Another aspect is there is a donor, I believe his name is Jonathan Levine, who has made his support of the

building of the Manhattanville campus, which is a newer campus that they are trying to build, which will be displacing so, so many, so many people from Harlem. This campus is contingent on the building of the Tel Aviv campus of Columbia University. So in this way, the two struggles are inherently intertwined and people are making their financial support dependent on both the expulsion of people from Harlem, black and brown people predominantly, and of Palestinians from Palestine.

So it is, yeah, it's disgusting. The point that you made originally about how this satellite Tel Aviv University campus is one in which Palestinian-American students would not be allowed to attend, even if they had been admitted to Columbia University, I think is a very telling one. Basil, before we let you go here, we've got to wrap it up. But it seems like these protests are

going to continue through the end of the school year. I mean, what can you tell our listeners about where are you and the various student groups, like Students for Justice in Palestine, Jewish Voice for Peace, all of the sort of coordinated activism going on on the campus right now? What are your plans going through to the end of the school year and then beyond?

Yeah, so we are students as much as Columbia University wants to ostracize us from campus, wants to revoke our ID, access to the school, we are here and we are enraged at the school's complicity and murdering over 40,000 Palestinians. So we do not plan on leaving. We do not plan on being silent until the school divests from all forms of Israeli settler colonialism,

genocide and apartheid until the school has full financial transparency because we are at a point when even administrators themselves, even people in the investments office, do not even know what Columbia is invested in. And the bits that we have gleaned, the fact that they're invested in General Electric, in Microsoft, in Boeing, and that we have a Board of Trustees member on the board of directors at Lockheed Martin. These are weapons companies, these are surveillance companies, this is imperialism and settler colonialism at its finest. We also demand amnesty for all the student protesters. We also demand that Columbia

cease their expansion efforts in Harlem and start giving actual community members a say in what is happening to their land. And we are stronger than we have ever been. We are more organized than we have ever been and we are more educated than we have ever been. So we do not plan on leaving. We plan on holding our ground and being steadfast just as the Palestinian people in Gaza and across Palestine have been

for generations. We will be steadfast and we will be victorious and we will not stop our protesting until liberation is here. Well there you go, Columbia University administrators, if you're listening, hey, if you want kids to go back to class, just simply take your money out of the worst country on the face of the planet right now. Not that hard. Basel, I want to thank you for your time and I just wish you the best of luck ongoing in this protest movement that has really captured the attention of the country and I hope will redirect that attention to where it should be, which is not college campuses. It is Palestine. Yes. Thank you. Thank you so much. to where it should be, which is not college campuses. It is Palestine.

Yes, thank you. Thank you so much. Felix, I can't stop watching the Brave Wife video from Yale. I know it happened like five minutes before we started recording, but I've been doing nothing but watch the Brave Wife say, put me on TV. I'm not wearing a mask. Yeah, I really want to get one of those Jew Israel shirts The context here is someone sent their wife to walk around Yale with a shirt that says Jew and Israel on it and Just sort of stand there and be brave and they managed to record a video of like a five minute video of nobody paying attention

To her but yeah, man, oh man, man, oh man, was circling around her. It's you know what it reminds me of? It reminds me of the infamous like kid wearing the load to high school video where he's like he's walking around the basketball court trying to make sure everyone sees the field. Oh, that's what she's doing with Jew Israel. The husband keeps like fucking circling around her. He probably got like a dolly to get all like every shot possible

of Jew Israel. And no one could give less of a shit during it. Literally like it's like she's not even there. Well, I know. And just like, you know, just saying, I am willing to show my face and stand and be proud. And then also when you said she looked like the baby that Maggie Simpson is his enemy is that fucking killed me. She just has like kind of like a like a mean face. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, put a mask back on.

That's what I'm saying. Of course, it is sorry. We'll start the show Monday, April 22nd. And of course, we're talking campus politics now. And I have to we have to violate the show's policy that anyone are interested in what goes on in college is a pervert or a psycho of some kind, because man, oh, man, it's gotten it's gotten quite hot at Columbia and well as well as many other elite institutions across this country but I guess I want to begin today with a question that's been bothering me all

morning which is like all of these like administrators and media people who are of the boomer generation. I don't get how they have built their entire politics and identity around opposing the Vietnam War on campus. Have all decided now that these current anti-war protests on campus are evil and wrong. And during the late 60s, early 70s, there were hundreds of bombs exploded at American campuses. And I haven't seen anything like

that so far. But what accounts for protesting Vietnam war ending that war? Good. Currently protesting the war in quotation marks Israel is fighting bad. The fact that it like one more personally could have affected them. And this one can't. That's really it. Right? Like that. Yeah, there's a draft. I think that's it. They weren't going to be. Like that. Yeah. That there's a draft. I think that's it. They weren't going to be drafted. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. They're not going to be drafted for this. They're too old. On top of that, uh, there hasn't been fucking 50 some years of goddamn Vietnam war movies and they're all fucking culture brained because it's the only war we can make a movie about anymore This is a show we need to pass a law or at least like a five-year moratorium on a world On a Vietnam War movie. It's either that or World War two and no one's even around for that

That's just them bitching about their parents if I just feel today I feel like the the anti-israel protesters at Columbia and Yale and elsewhere today, I feel if they could just really listen to and understand the lyrics to Creedence Clearwater's Run Through the Jungle, then you know, like we wouldn't be having all of this drama on campus. But I guess the other really funny thing I saw this morning was that Columbia University has a plaque that reads, in honor of the Lenape people. The Lenape lived here before and during colonization of the Americas.

This plaque recognizes these indigenous people of Manhattan, their displacement, dispossession, and continued presence. It stands as a reminder to reflect on our past as we contemplate our way forward. Thank you, Columbia. Oh, give it enough time and everyone's going to fucking whitewash and lie about their support for that. Think about how many people like were in favor of the war in Iraq that are now very hush, hush about it and feel like they don't need to mention it anymore.

I mean, Martin Luther King wasn't super popular during his time. And now we've made him into a fucking Teddy Ruxpin that sings little happy songs about togetherness for us. I would say what's the over under on the first recognition of Palestinian genocide in America, as if we had no hand in it? 20 years? But yeah, probably, probably about there. I don't know. I mean, like, it took less time for people to all turn against the Iraq war. But to your point, Amber, all the people who are now pretending that they're against the Iraq war are the ones lecturing everyone else on TV about how indecent it is to protest Israel and

how dangerous these campus protests are. I mean, it's literally to a person, like find find me an Iraq war supporter that doesn't support Israel. And I would love to interview them. And by the way, I would also love to interview some of the protesters from Columbia. I reached out by Twitter and email, but you know, these kids today,

they're probably all on TikTok doing their radicalism. But I would love to talk to one of the student organizations, Jewish Voice for Peace or Students for Palestine. Well, don't look, don't do that. We're going to get the weirdest one. Come on. We want, if they're that young, we want them to have no idea who we are. Well, I'm just waiting to hear back. I mean, I'm just saying it's on the forefront of my mind. I would like to interview some of these student protesters. God damn it. No, get out of here. I had a cat situation. I'm sorry. I wasn't talking about that to the students. I wasn't saying no, get out of Colombia. My cat was pulling my laptop off my

desk. Is she wearing a collar that says Jew Israel? This is gonna be a sound clip and I'll be like, Zionist Will Mediker from podcasts we haven't heard of. 52 year old podcaster Will Mediker. Yes, yes. Felix, to answer your question, my cat is wearing a Jew Israel t-shirt. I'm brave.

I'm brave. Somebody attack me, please. I'm brave. I don't know Somebody attack me, please. I'm brave. I don't know. I mean, I like, yeah. I guess just like what strikes me about the arrests of students at Columbia, which is, I mean, now this is spread to NYU, Yale, all of America's most preeminent academic institutions. And it just seems to be like a combination of two things. Like one, like I said, boomer administrators and parents that are shocked that like their college age kids

don't have the exact same values that they do. And I think like, and the funny thing is, if Joe Biden had just cut the spigot off to Israel, I think there's a good chance most of these kids would end up with probably the same values as their parents did. Well, and they will eventually, probably. They probably will eventually.

They're going to universities. I guess, but it did remind me of the thing that happened like two weekends ago in Berlin, where German police arrested the organizers of the World Palestinian Congress in Berlin. And what that means is functionally, German police arresting Jewish German citizens for organizing a pro-Palestinian solidarity conference.

And I guess I just see a similar version of this and what's going on at Columbia right now, because it's just like, the extent to which these institutions are willing to trash their own reputation, or just like, I read that Barnard has suspended 1% of its student body. And I guess it's just like,

what, I guess it's just like, it's so authoritarian and it goes against decades and decades of norms. The last time that Columbia asked the police to suppress a student protest was in 1968. And that's a storied part of Columbia history now. But they're willing to shatter these norms about free speech on campus or political activism of students because they've lost the argument and are just in pure desperation mode right now to just like shut it down. I mean, it doesn't seem to be working, but like, I don't know, I just think it's an interesting example of like how far they're willing to push this

to like avoid losing an argument. I think it's just like that these were always ostensible values. You know, like it also used to be that the faculty themselves were actually kind of left-wing and then has, as matriculation became more common and thus more competitive, the people who rose to the top are, you know, a different breed and the people aspiring to rise to the top are fewer and fewer like there are fewer and fewer the pool is smaller and i don't know they were always kind of full of shit and you know there were definitely like real left-wing movements on campuses over history but also you know the big difference they left campus they went to fucking like al like Alabama and like they did sit ins and they

like you know they they pamphlet it around it wasn't just trying to like reform their country club and I understand like the impulse for that because like this is essentially like an institution these are institutions of the bourgeoisie but it's's like, man, you know they're going to beat the shit out of you mostly because, you know, and arrest you and, you know, expel or suspend you. Mostly because they're just like trying to keep the machine going. Yeah. I got to say, I've seen it. I've seen entirely too much of that shy David guy on my fucking timeline.

What was he doing before this? I don't know what this is, but I'm already angry. All right. His name is Shy David. No, he's shy guy. Yeah, he's the shy guy. He's a nice guy. I don't know. Like, what was he doing before?

Like he everything, everything since October with shy David, he has been crying in a different New York city public park. Just, um, he even said, he even said on Friday, I went viral for crying. And, um, okay. Well get in line. You're a woman in media like fucking crying in New York is just a pastime. You have to stop. How long has he been there? He needs to get over that shit. Well, he like, that's what's interesting to me is like, he's you know, famous for crying and screaming now. But before this, he was just a regular business professor. And I wanted to know

if he was like that emotional before, if he was just a regular business professor. And I wanted to know if he was like that emotional before. If he was like on the verge of peers talking about how profit is revenue minus cost. Yeah. I mean, maybe he's just been like a lacrimosa guy. I mean, we, ooh, we could look at his rate my professor. Let's see what the students say I mean you have to like eliminate a few of those because there's always a few people who like just hate their professor because they Gotta see or something, but I mean if you if you see a trend We'll figure out we'll figure out what kind of guy shy David really is yeah, so apparently like

he His background is that his family, like brought Pepsi to Moldova. That's what that's like that like underpins their taste of a new generation. Yeah. He's I didn't know you could make a fortune off that. Like, aren't there, isn't Moldova one of those countries that has like 30,000 people, I guess they must really love Pepsi.

They all bought Pepsi, you know? Yeah. And one dollar a can, that's $30,000. If it depends when they came in, because if it's like after, you know, sort of the, you know, disillusion of the Soviet Union and, and balkanization and all those things getting broke up, maybe he was just like getting in like right under the wire before like Soros got in with Coca-Cola. So like poor Moldova, they got the shittiest,

they got the shittiest cola. I think I could have, I would have at least given him RC. That's how you know George Soros is evil because he's cornered the world Coca-Cola market. When they're in markets like many movie theaters in New York City that don't have Coca-Cola, only cursed Pepsi. No, I mean, I bring up Shia David as just an example of like, it seems that tenor of the people that are upset about these protests, like they all I know shy David is Israeli but it seems like the Israeli brain has like infected like a

lot of these people in that they don't know what they sound like to other people but also like that he was openly calling the student protesters who were camping on a quad terrorists literally and calling for the National Guard to be used to suppress them and it's just like you know like it just sort of like sorry it's not illegal to be Palestinian in this them. And it's just like, you know, like, it's just sort of like, sorry, it's not illegal to be Palestinian in this country as much as they wish that that were the case. It still is technically legal to be Palestinian or wave a Palestinian flag in this country. But it like, but similar to that, like, in just a nutshell, like the tenor of like the accusations about like the quote, horrific anti-Semitism at Columbia,

I would just like to hear like, what are we talking about here? Like, well, I mean, how many people have died? How many people have been attacked? And as far as I can tell, zilch zero nada. It sounds like some people were yelled at and made to feel uncomfortable. Or some people were made fun of or taunted and that's about it. They took the lactate out of the commons. Yeah.

There's like, there's just like no, no one can give a concrete example. You were just supposed to take, um, you know, on the safety as in the broadest terms, you're supposed to take that as face value and it can be nothing and everything at the same time. I mean, shut what shy David has been doing. It has been instructive because he actually he posted a video of just like Muslim students praying. Yeah. It was like, yeah, that's what I mean. That's it. Israeli brain like he like he thought that like his audience

could immediately interpret like, oh my God, scary, illegal, arrest them immediately for being Muslim. Yeah. And even even like it was like a rogue's gallery of like more regular media people, you know, the regular dopes that work in media. And even even they were like, what the fuck are you talking about? It was like it was like everyone from like, yeah, like Mike Sir Novich to like a couple of weird Mike to say, you, Jelani, were like, shut the fuck up. to like a couple of New Yorkers. I eat Jelani. We're like, shut the fuck up.

But you're right. I mean, doesn't it see weird that there are no like actual reports like from an elite school about what's happening? I mean, NYU has Tish. Like, don't they have someone who studied Stella Adler that can do like a Morton Downey, like like like fake hate crime or something? Morton Downey from Predator 2. Mr. Mayor, where are you? We're getting our asses kicked out here.

But no, yeah, it's just like this inference. But like, like I said, like the argument has been fully lost from these people. And like, I mean, if they were to just, I don't know, divest from Israel or let these students continue to protest peacefully, I don't think it would continue to be... They could happily keep filling mass graves in Israel, like, unabated. Because no one's paying attention to that regardless. Yeah, it's contained. Or at least not in the media. Just not in the media. But it would be contained in a certain way. But I mean, I'm dumbfounded by the extent to which they're willing to break their own institutions to like make shy David and his ill Kathy.

Or just like, I don't know, is it like the donors? Is it the media? Like I just like it's it's probably alumnus, right? I mean, like it has to be alumni. That's a plural, right? I mean, I remember college. Now we know why you hate these Columbia protesters. Ivy League pedigree. Yeah, I wanted to be on the crew team. I wanted to row, damn it.

But I mean, remember when we did the Bill Ackman thing where like it seemed like a big, like a large chunk of his anxiety and stress was just over the fact that his daughter went to Harvard and became a communist. It's like they're not getting the return on investment for these exorbitant tuition prices. Yeah. It's also crazy though because it's like for that type of thing Like if your daughter becomes a communist when she's like 18 at Yale or wherever

How does someone like Bill Ackman or any of these guys? How do they not think like? Okay, well like let's wait a year exactly give it a minute like what you probably did it to you dork Well, like I said, I think it's I think it speaks to the desperation as it pertains to this issue issue and the position of Israel globally. And like I said, look, Israel has been hated globally for a long time, but it has begun to being hated by the ascendant. What will eventually be ruling class of this country and the UK and Western Europe, maybe the lesser case Western Europe, but at least in this country. If like, if you were born after Vietnam movies were a

thing, you fucking hate Israel and nothing is going to shake you from that position. I feel it's like they understand that this is like a war of attrition that's going to be like that they're going to be losing with every second that continues to pass. And that's why I think like, they can't just let the kids have their protests and ignore them and like let it sputter out because I think for them, it's just like it's an existential issue for them. No, yeah, I think like I think this stuff about like kids going to college and coming back like just generally woke or communist or whatever you want to call it is one thing.

But the Israel stuff actually does have some purchase because it's like more coherent than a lot than a lot of other like, uh, just like campus grievances these people have. And it's like, just like being anti-Israel or just even like conditioning aid or even saying like, Oh, I don't think that we should give these people $15 billion every time anything happens is way less of an affirmative choice. Ultimately, it's way easy if if you get like, you know, 52% of people to think that it would be enormously difficult to roll that back and we're way past 52% This boy will is right though. I think you're you hit something

I didn't even think about but like it is existential for them They believe that they changed the world for the better and they've ushered in this beautiful progressive Modern America. Yes, there it's there's a problem with it, but damn it. And then like, if this is true, if the occupation is not only inhumane, but like revolting and like a world historic genocide of the modern age, then they made a huge mistake. And they aren't who they think they are. Bingo, bingo, bingo. That's a bingo. And it comes back to what my first like a consternation about all these fucking boomer moms and dads who were like, you know, we marched and ended the

Vietnam War. And it's like, well, you know, not really, but not really. The brave, the brave Vietcongs and North Vietnamese soldiers, they kind of ended the Vietnam War. But morally, you were in the right to protest what your government was doing to resist induction into the draft. You were right to do that. You were right to march for civil rights in Selma. You were right to protest the Vietnam War and avoid the draft. But now it's just like, oh, well, I mean, if it doesn't directly affect me, but like the world we created, as said ever is the perfect liberal one and Any any deviation from that would anything that opens up the question about like hey

Maybe America just may just continue to be a totally evil country Regardless of that they want to embrace the hippies and the counterculture Maybe it just continued to be a blood-soaked military empire that does things like Vietnam all the fucking time. Yeah, the culture, your culture won and I will give it to you. You made better music and movies, but like it's not just that like it hasn't changed. So look, it's a great tune. We can't deny it's a great tune. We love Credence on this show. Folks, we love, we're Credence family here.

We stand, we stand. I agree with Matt Chris when the Credence is one of, is like the top five best American rock bands. Yeah, 100%. Not British, not British, American. But it's like, it's not just that, it's not just that they like, didn't change anything, it's that they had a hand in a new, relatively new venture that is in a new relatively new venture that is wrong that is morally and politically indefensible it wasn't just like oh no we didn't change the world and put it on the right track towards moving forward except Trump that was a glitch like that was a weird glitch that was everything was supposed to be normal before that they're like oh shit this part we had a hand in and I don't, I also think they're really egotistical and they think that like they personally had a hand in it and like

they feel like a dentist from Duluth probably like feels like, it's like, no, it's not, it's not you bro, but like it is for the people in power, for the media class, for the academics, for the PMC or whatever, they have to come, they're resisting, they're in huge denial and they can't come to terms with the fact that they didn't just not change the world for the better beyond some social and cultural issues. They had a hand in something that was so much worse and more awful. Yeah, yeah. It's a must suck to be you. Yeah. Sounds like it sounds like a YP, not an MP.

Yeah, I think it's a Palestinian P. At this point, exactly as you said, like they're sort of generational regret. You see that in how they're the last people who are doing that, like Tel Aviv Pride parade type has bar. Yeah, they're the only people still doing that because like actual Israelis or like most other Americans who are Zionists like hate that shit. They're so glad it's not 2014 anymore. They don't have to do that now. But for these people, like maintaining that Israel is some type of like idyllic 1990s San Francisco as a nation state is it's the only thing they can kind of hang on to. Yeah. And I don't know.

I've just been like desperation really being the word of the day here because like you know like desperation and refusing to like look at yourself in the mirror or face losing an argument but like I've noticed that like over the last couple months like the the arguments about genocide were like okay it's definitely not genocide because of look at the dictionary definition blah blah blah blah because of this it needs to be take place in the Holocaust region of Central Europe for it to be considered a true genocide. The Holocaust, Bill.

Yeah. But what I'm seeing now is like that they've already gotten tired of that argument and they're just saying it's not a genocide, but it would be good if it were. Or it's not a genocide, but it's all right to do a genocide. Or it's not a genocide, it's just the mass killing of civilians in the service of ethnic cleansing. Which is literally what Holocaust survivors say it didn't happen, but if it did, it would be good.

Yeah. A Holocaust fucking deniers. Yeah. Holocaust denier. Yeah. I actually, what if there was one Holocaust survivor? What if there was one Holocaust survivor? Who was a Holocaust denier?

And it was just like a biologic guy. But yeah, it's the same argument. Plus like they're contradicting themselves so much because their whole argument for Israel being a liberal state is that it's not actually like a fucking religious state that it's like secular it's like well I agree it is secular which means it's ethnic because it's defined by by jewelry or whatever that means and they don't mean the religion no they mean an ethnic group no I mean like they look at the religion I mean look at like all the half the people that are being arrested

in Colombia are just Jewish students who don't want to be associated with this or feel a moral compulsion to speak out against this nightmare. The other good example I saw recently is, by good example, I mean unspeakably evil. But we've been seeing a lot of reports about these like mass graves that were being unearthed But next to the shefa and al Nasser hospitals of just like people with their handcuffs Shot into mass ditches and then pulled those over I saw people replying to like news accounts to that I was just saying proved to me

It wasn't Hamas who killed those people you can't game over and it's just sort of like what are we what are we doing here? What do what like what like what are you arguing here? Yeah It's just sort of like, what are we what are we doing here? What do what like what like what are you arguing here? Yeah, I saw. I got nothing. It just sucks. So I was I fucking I'm so sick of this fucking just shut up. Shut up. No one believes you. You have to like, you know, whatever gets you through the night, I guess.

But at the end of the day, you have to sleep in your own bed and live with yourself. Good luck. This one, you have to sleep in your own bed and live with yourself. Good luck. This one, I have this sinking feeling that this like latest round of stuff, this one is actually they're going to try this one for a while. It's one of the most like contrived moral panics I've ever seen. Like you can see like the four the outlines of the form letters in everyone's posts. Yeah, yeah. Like every every like, you shouldn't stupid senator or like, you know, bad newspaper columnist or whatever. They're all like, they're all

issuing a statement that like probably came out of the same PR office. It's unfortunate because it's well, it'll probably like take a lot of the spotlight off Israel and Palestine in and of themselves for a little while. Just because like this is this is people's favorite thing to talk about. Just Ivy League campus bullshit. Yeah, well, before moving on, I would like to reiterate that I have reached out to these student groups and I would love to interview one or two representatives on the show, provided you like us and our nuns. Yeah.

["Walk On You"] I'd like to move now from upper Manhattan to lower Manhattan, where another very important thing is going on. By that I mean the trial of Donald J. Trump. And we've got, we've got a, okay, I know the first one I'm going to say is not OK. This is just two contrasting two contrasting stories or just the statements about Joe Biden and Donald Trump. The first one is the secret. Joe Biden just told the story about his uncle Bozi got shot down in a plane over New Guinea and that he was possibly eaten by cannibals.

And Felix, when I read that, all I could think about was that his uncle was boozy. I just think about his uncle was boozy. I just think that Joe Biden's uncle is boozy badass and that he may have been eaten by cannibals in New Guinea. Suffice to say, the people of New Guinea are not happy with Joe Biden. But I just want to get to the Trump thing. This is probably my favorite court of like piece of courtroom reporting I've ever read. This is a direct quote. What I'm hearing from credible sources is that Donald Trump is actually farting in the courtroom. I'm hearing it from actual credible people that as he's kind of falling asleep, he's actually passing gas and that his lawyers are really struggling with the smell. Could you can you imagine how rank Donald Trump's farts must be?

Can you imagine how bad he must smell? Just just just shitting his pants. And like, you know, people have commented on this. Trump really looks shocked by this trial. Like he is not enjoying himself. He is really not having a good time. And I saw a great, an absolutely great post by, you know, a Trump defender extraordinaire, Alan Dershowitz today, where he posted, he said, you don't understand what the government

is doing here. Trump doesn't want to be in the courtroom and they're making him be there. They're making him stay in the courtroom for his felony trial. They're literally imprisoning him. They're taking away his freedom to demand that he be a defendant in a criminal trial. He's a prison abolitionist now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe not a prison not a prisoner, he's a court abolitionist as well. Forget the prison. Get rid of even the trial. And even that's too fucking, even that's too impressive for him.

And then another detail here, Trump, and this is, I find this highly relatable. Trump is using his phone in the courtroom, openly flouting the rules of the courtroom. Blanche just told him to stop and Trump tucked his phone in his pocket while looking annoyed. Okay, I'm now a courtroom abolitionist because trials are boring as fuck. You're supposed to sit there. There's nothing for you to say. Yeah, let him be on his phone. Also what's he contributing if he's not on the stand? Like he's not paying attention to any of it anyway. His lawyer is going to give him like the, you know, the Cliffs Notes of it maybe, but does he really need any of it anyway. His lawyer is going to give him like the, you know, the Cliffs notes of it. Maybe. But does he really need any of it?

I doubt it. But yeah, I'm I relate to this of both the farting, smelling like shit, shitty public and really wanting to look at your phone when something boring is happening, like your trial, a trial that you may be involved in. Well, I think like I think the farts are. Did you know that, like when you lose weight, that's how like most of the weight leaves your body like gas kind of? Yeah. Yeah, that's not true. Yeah. No, no.

How do you think? How do you think? How do you think it works? Do you think you just like take three big shits and then you're done? It's mostly it's like some of it like comes out of your mouth. So it turns to gas. So it turns, your fat turns to gas. It just, okay, but then what happens with the people around inhaling it? Are they getting fatter?

They're getting fatter. Is that what's happening? Look at Trump's lawyers. They've plumped up a bit since the case started. Oh my God, they've ballooned. They've plumped up. Oh my God. They ballooned. They ballooned. But like, so he's like, he's clearly on Ozempic and he's like the fat that he is like farting out is like 52 years old.

Oh my God. It's like, there's the Roy Cohn days. It's probably like fucking as best as. He's been, he's been working on a fucking, on just a ripping one since the Carter administration and now that he's facing a criminal trial, he's just letting it all go. It's just, you know, I like it.

So if I'm a passive resistance, he's like the Chicago seven. Abbie Hoffman sort of shit his pants in the middle of a trial. Maybe he did, actually. I don't know. Or Larry Flint when he showed up to trial in a diaper. These are classic moments. Well, he had to, yeah. Yeah.

What he did. Yeah. Uh. But, uh, I guess another element of the Trump trial that I've been interested in is, uh, did you see the guy who, uh, self-immolated in front of the Trump trial that I've been interested in is, did you see the guy who self-immolated in front of the Trump trial? I bring this up and I feel bad that I don't know his name, but I bring it up because he was a fan of my and Felix's tweets. Yeah. So I mean, like what,

I guess what I'll say what I like about this guy is that he wasn't really pro or anti the Trump trial. He was anti what he regarded as a crypto Ponzi scheme that's going to enslave the world as best I can understand it, but he was also opposed to both the Stanley Kubrick and the Simpsons, which he said were both crypto fascist, which I got to say, you can like my, you can like my tweets, buddy, but official, official choppo doctrine here please don't set

yourself on fire just just don't it's it's it it and then if we hear you liked our tweets we have to have an existential crisis because we're not boomers and they're like what hand did I have in this no killing yourself no boiling people all right I got two reading series for you here today. Which would you like to do first? The New York Times polycule article or the spectator article about a guy getting his shit cranked off by a sort of masseuse for hire? Can we skip polycules? I can't. Yeah, I'm kind of like sick of polycule stuff.

Yeah, it's too gross. I can't deal with the polycule people. They just look so proud of themselves and it's like, ugh, go away. Go back on playing board games or whatever. Enough people have made fun of that article already. So let's go over the more geek option. This is Lloyd Evans writing in The Spectator, or The Sex-tater,

as it should be called, under the headline, My Surprisingly Decent Proposal. It begins like this. Like being chained to a lunatic. That's how a man feels in relation to his libido. And the lunatic latches onto anything, irrationally and without warning. In Cambridge recently, I dropped into a lecture given by a beautiful historian, Lea Yippee from Albania, whose discourse included the observation about revolutionaries. Once they attain power, they lose all interest in revolution. Good point. Her blonde hair spilling over her shoulders absorbed far more of my attention than her political reflections and I was desperate to speak to her afterwards, but I had no way to orchestrate

a meeting. I, you know, so I'm going to say I don't think you should name check the woman of the who inspired you to get your shit checked off at a sort of handjob parlor. I don't think you should put her on blast. Yeah. Even if you even if you just acknowledge it and I didn't know what to do because I have no fucking game. Yeah, I just sort of like I don't think you need to write an article about like I met the most gorgeous, intelligent

and stunning woman the other day. I tried to strike up a conversation with her but instead I simply went home and beat off my shit furiously imagining sexual Congress with her and then just like naming that person seems a little bit rude to me. But this guy is British. So keep that in mind. Yeah, sure. Yeah. So he says, I was desperate to speak to her afterwards, but I had no way to orchestrate the meeting. Instead, I headed for the rougher end of Cambridge near the railway terminus where misfits and outcasts gather. Is there a rough part of Cambridge? This is where they steal your lunch money if you walk after hours. So it goes here. I'd already arranged a social rendezvous at a private business location. Here's how it works. You hand over a roll of banknotes to a concierge at a desk who ushers you into a softly

lit room where your companion awaits you. Mine was petite, black haired and buxom. Shaya she called herself. She looked Chinese. No wonder. Yeah, this guy works all nonstop. I mean, they're probably both from, you know, have connections to Moldova. Yeah, Shea, she called herself. She looked Chinese rather than Irish, but you never know these days, so I asked her which part of Ireland she came from. Shanghai, she told me. I lay naked on the couch and she rubbed hot wax into my shoulders, a ritual that gives

these assignations an air of medical respectability. A moment later she ordered me to flip on my back as she dimmed the lights and raised one eyebrow at me suggestively. This was the cue for negotiations. The money at the desk stays at the desk and Shay made a separate deal with the client. Her opening bid was the same as the cost of my overnight hotel. So I made a lower offer 20 pounds less She accepted it then a crisis That is I'm sorry

That's incredibly rude that we figured out this far as this man has absolutely no manners It reminds me like was it like Winston Churchill was like one of his famous quips was like, you know, like asking a woman, would you have sex with me for $5? And she said, my, my God, no. And then she was like, how about a million pounds? And she was like, hmm. And then he's like, well, we've already, we've already determined your status, man.

We are merely quibbling on the price. This is like the reversed version of that. Did Winston Churchill say that or is that like Tucker Max? It's a, it's a, it's a profitable. That sounds like it's from like a Dane Cook movie. Yeah, it's a, it's a, it's attributed to him. Also, come on. A one-off for a million dollars does not a prostitute make.

Yeah. That's not a pro. That's a, that's a fucking year. That's a semester abroad. That's just someone with good business mindset. This is the okay so yeah he's haggling with the woman who's gonna rub him off so she offers 20 pounds less she accepted it then a crisis emerged. I'd surrendered most of my cash and I was down to one measly fiver not

enough and I just forfeited my ATM card to a greedy machine that gobbled it up as for my uncooperative iPhone I've never convinced it to pay for anything. I offered to fetch my laptop from my hotel and to transfer the money when I got back. This guy is down bad. This guy is down abysmally. This is insane. You're trying to get a fuck with my candy. And then you're Googling house and PDF. Like I don't understand how you don't prepare for this situation. There's got to be something in a Rick Steves guide or something.

Has has anyone like had the ATM eat their cards since 1984? Yeah, no, I don't like I haven't even heard of that happening to anyone except this guy. I mean, I think he probably does this often. I think he probably goes to massage parlors and pulls the old my ATM card was eaten. Can you accept these coupons? Oh, true. Yeah, he does this all the time. This is probably and he's like, Oh, I'd be I'd be happy to be happy to take an hour trip back to my hotel room. Yeah. He comes and dashes. He's a he's a come and dash. Yeah.

Yeah. But it says here, I offered to fetch my laptop from my hotel and to transfer the money when I got back. What is going to be? Can I get your routing number, madam? To do a wire transfer to your bank account? That is dying and dash fucking like behavior. There is no way this woman

is that fucking dumb. I bet he was, there's gotta be 50 million reddits on this. There's no way he did. He came in unprepared. This is just his way of being a cheap bastard. Yeah. Like if you're, if you're like not only horny enough, but like you clearly don't feel any shame about this. Like I would think that's like a big part of doing this is that you like at least feel bad, but he, you know, he doesn't even feel bad enough to not haggle. But like, I would think at least if you were this into it, you would come with the cash that you need.

Yeah. Well, he's treating it like, like he's a jolly flan-oor. He basically did it for the boring think piece. Did the spectator reimburse him? That's what I wanna know. Did he submit an invoice to his editor at the Spectre for one rub and tug, sir? So it says here, but Shaya didn't like that idea.

She refused to let me leave. Yeah, I'll fucking bet. She didn't like that idea. She refused to let me leave. Yeah, I'll fucking bet. She didn't like that idea. Yeah. Fearing that my lucrative custom might slip through her fingers. This struck me as bizarre. Where else would I go? I couldn't imagine a better pastime than a brisk workout with the lovely Shaya who was

about 48 years old. He's saying how old she is in this too. Jesus Christ. This guy should be. This guy has no shame and it's just Calling in a workout is like kind of betraying what a sedentary slug you are Calories fucking coming in my own eye It's the only it's like the only thing that can make jacking off even more of a passive activity. Yeah.

Using someone. You're not even getting any arm work. Yeah. So what are the what are the what other articles is this guy? Okay, all right. I'm just stuff like this. Okay, I'm clicking on his profile at the spectator. This is this is the Lloyd Evans archives

Player Kings proves that Shakespeare can be funny Rishi gets witty at PMQs. Why is the national engaged in this tedious act of defamation of the Brontes? exhilarating MJ the musical reviewed musical reviewed. I was absolutely right. He's trying to position himself as like a sophisticated cot. Like he's a flannery about town. He's getting jerked off on the Algonquin roundtable. And if he wanted to be like the leading lights of like 19th century European literature, he should get tertiary stiflis and

then slit his own throat like many of the greats did. Guy de Melpison. He goes, okay, I would, so he says, Chea, who was about 48 years old, still can't believe he's including that detail, I would guess, okay, so he's guessing, I would guess and had a crooked smile which I find far more attractive than those ultra white Hollywood teeth that look like pieces of Lego. So he's saying she's 48 years old and has bad teeth is this is this is how he feels about this woman. At her suggestion, we went ahead anyway and the issue of payment was left unresolved. I appreciated that she trusted me. As we

got dressed afterwards, she complimented me on my old walking shoes. Thank you, I said, feeling baffled that she chose him to praise my sorry looking boots rather than my lean and toned physique Then she turned highly towards me with her Yeah, that was baffling sir that was so I was baffled then she turned Shyly toward me with her pale tummy exposed. I'm fat. She said mournfully I spring in instantly to reassure her not fat beautiful I said smoothing my palm tenderly across her stomach lovely pretty gorgeous I added spraying out synonyms in the hopes of finding a word that lay within the compass of her understanding He's talking to her like a fucking like she

Baby Tony good to you girl beautiful. This is like the Israeli political parties Between swear and shit and mr. Wu San Francisco Cambridge cocksucker. Yeah, glad I told you that fucking word You know why I still I still think he has a terrible physique I think this is complete bullshit the fact that he's too lazy to jerk off his own shit. He's like, why didn't she compliment my just physique? I bet he's one of those guys who's like either really, really stringy British,

you know, or like just fat that he, he insists is muscle and she's just trying to find a way to complement something. Just like I was trying to work something that sounds nice. And you know what? The reason she probably let you do it and decided you weren't going to dine and dash is because she thought she could outrun you. To make this guy's little eel throw up. Disgusting. Continuing on it says, she seems satisfied. As we padded about tugging our clothes back on, I realized we were like a long

married couple observing the conventions of mutual respect and cooperation. We know each other for 17 minutes. We'd known each other for 17 minutes and yet the grooves of domestic harmony, so etched into the human character, brought our disunited interests together and gave our small talk an ease and familiarity. Back in ten minutes I told her... If you are like the couple from Monty Python's Meeting of Life, the Protestant one. I could use a French tickler anytime I want.

She might have been any suburban housewife on route to play bridge or hear a performance by an amateur handle society. She was surprised to see me which I found disheartening. She thought I was a swindler. I opened my laptop and asked her to put her bank deals into my Santander account on the new payee page. She spelled her name XE as it turned out and her second name had just three letters. Her sort code and her reference details indicated that she held a bank account with HSBC. He's just like giving her account number. He's one step away from giving her fucking bank number. We know her age, what she looks like, how long she has been with HSBC, her real name. Her real name. But it's all just like, that's not the information.

He's like, well, I have to name details. And like, first it's just like dumb bitch fuckin' like amateur handle society. By the way, I've included her fingerprints at the bottom of this article. And by the way, the name of her first pet was Sandy. And her least favorite subject in her grade school was arithmetic. So this year, I invited her to type in the fee that I owed and she

entered the lowered amount with the 20 to 20 pound discount. I gallantly deleted this and offered the larger some she had initially quoted. She giggled and stroked my elbow affectionately. The casual caress made me feel heroic and magnificent for some reason. One last detail was needed, payment reference. I suggested fun, but Chea had other ideas. Wedding gift, she said, laughing, rubbing my shoulder again. Was this a marriage proposal? Sort of, yes, but I pretended she'd just made a throwaway joke. My bank

approved the payment and she smiled as I headed for the door. See you next time, she said. I'd like that I said, no doubt, she spoke and sincerely, but I didn't. I meant it privately secretly. The lunatic I'm chained to is invisible. Thank God. Gallantly. He said he gallantly. He gallantly didn't stiff the hooker. Like yes, oh Oh so go on It's like yeah, she gave you a fucking discount because she wanted a repeat customer. Oh, we know what? As long as we're on this tip and we still have some extra time Would you like to hear about from Rabbi Shmueli about the connection between sexual repression and anti-semitism always?

Rabbi Shmueli he's been killing it lately. I mean, honestly, I think he's probably one of the top, I mean, if you're talking about top rabbis in the United States, you're talking about the goat rabbis. Rabbi Shmueli is in the conversation. There's Mosayek, he's like, he's the MJ of rabbis. And then like, Rabbi Shmueli, he's the LeBron. But some of y'all aren't ready for that conversation. This is Rabbi Shmuely Beotech writing in the New Jersey Jewish News. He wants to know, is there a connection between sexual repression and anti-semitism? Strange question, right? But is there? I'm just gonna skip ahead for a little bit. He says here, he starts bitching about Norman Finkelstein, but he

says, all these debates had three things in common. First, they were watched by vast audiences, cumulatively probably more than 30 million people. Second, each opponent told the most disgusting lies and offered the most poisonous blood libels about Jews. And third, here is where it gets weird. Nearly every single one attacked me viciously for my international bestselling book, Kosher Sex,

and the marital aid company of the same name that my daughter Chana, an IDF veteran, set up in Israel. Wait, his daughter's like a dildo salesman? Yeah, she is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How did I miss this one? Yeah, she sells marital aids to make kosher sex, all that much more hot and dirty.

They're all wearing wigs. Hey. The dildos. you know, all that much more hot and dirty. They're all wearing wigs. At the dildos. So it says here, I was astonished at the sexual prudishness of my opponents and how much they indulged attacks about Jews and sex. Indeed, I was unprepared for just how obsessed about each was about Jews and sex in general. Their attacks were constant.

Why did you write your books? Kosher sex, kosher Lust, the Kosher Sutra, Kosher Adultery, etc. etc. And why is your daughter selling products that enhance intimacy and passion between married monogamous couples? I like that her dildo company is like you need a marriage license to buy one of these marital aids because otherwise it's not just like anyone can stick a you know silicon dick in their pussy or ass but you know you have to this has to be in the confines of a monogamous kosher marriage. It has to be blessed by a rabbi there's a whole process each one you can't touch both cheese and meat it's yeah. Someone has to bite the tip off. I guess it going says, and that's what anti-Semites hate the most about us Jews, that we always choose life. Why do Hamas, Iran, Hezbollah

and all the other other Islamist sickos hate us so much? Because no matter how much they pledge to spill our blood, we continue to choose life. Israel is filled with cafes, restaurants, museums, universities, parks and children's life. Israel is filled with cafes, restaurants, museums, universities, parks, and children's playground. Gaza, by contrast, well before Israel's invasion last year was just a giant garbage dump. I know because I was personally there with the Reverend Al Sharpton in October of 2001. Yeah, I wonder how it got that way. I shouldn't be laughing about this because of how fucking evil it is, but like I just love you saying,

I know Gaza's a garbage dump. Al Sharpton took me there in 2001. Yeah, by the way, you all hating us because our dick's too big. Jewish perverts, yeah, Jewish perverts fucking rule. I mean, I agree, but. What magazine is this for? This is for the Jewish Times of New Jersey.

The Jewish rapist, the Jew Quarterly from Conde Nast. He's a Jewish worker, a Jewish rapist. It would already be bad enough if the article was just like, you know, I, we, I invented having sex for nine hours while my daughter designs a butt plug using a paper mache thing of my asshole. Like, I need that just add it on top of that. Did you know Israel has a Starbucks?

Did you, we have build a bear and that's why they hate us. He has like a literary lazy eye. He can't stay on one disgusting thing for long enough. Okay, Felix, I'm glad you clocked that because this article, I mean, it's not done. It goes to even more amusing places. So he says, so he said, yeah, Gaza's a garbage dump. Al Sharpton showed it to me. And he says, the same is true of many other places that

were that were once beautiful, like Lebanon and Beirut, the Paris of the Middle East, which today are essentially piles of rubble. No shit, asshole. Like, just all these places that Israel has like attacked for the last fucking half century. But no, like, his literary lazy eye continues to wander. Anti-Semites are the most miserable wretches on Earth. Their only joy is in making sure that you have no joy. That's why little by little all these disgusting anti-Israel protests and marches are backfiring. These miserable people are making the lives of everyday Americans absolutely miserable. Next paragraph. Larry David just ended his 24 year run of the most successful comedy on TV.

Curve your enthusiasm. Yes, he plays a curmudgeon, but it's all about making you laugh. Notice how some of the world's greatest comics and wits are Jews and how so much of their humor is about taking everyday misery and learning to laugh at it. Like Woody Allen, yes, I know, not the best example right now, or Rodney Dangerfield. Those are very weird examples, not just because of Woody Allen. One, you could have found an alive one, like a living Jew.

And two, like, why are you drawing, I mean, I guess he's very pro-sex. I guess that's what he's coming. That's a callback. I told my, I told my wife the other day, uh, they're dropping food on Gaza. My wife told me the other day, Hey, why don't you try getting in the kitchen and dropping some food on me? I tell you, I can't get no respect. Uh, who are the Jews?

The who are the Jews? The nation that has learned not just to survive persecution, but to flourish. What is Israel? The most irrationally hated nation on earth that was simultaneously, according to the 2020 World Happiness Report released last month, just voted the fifth happiest country in the world. And this is despite the war in Gaza and the October 7th massacre. And now you see why all these reptiles whom I've debated or gotten fired, like Candace Owens, hate Jewish sex more than anything else. Because Jewish

sex is not only that which keeps our nation surviving quite literally, but thriving quite literally as well. That is some great writing. DJ, run that back. And now you see why all these reptiles whom I've debated or gotten fired, like Candace Owens, hate Jewish sex more than anything else. because Jewish sex is not only that which keeps our nation surviving quite literally but thriving quite literally as well. The use of quite literally is like that. Maybe because I get that Shoshana pussy. That's like the weirdest. This is like, this is like if you were if you were trying to make like guys in

North Dakota who'd never met a Jewish person like Blow up the nearest synagogue with a bunch of fertilizer. You would write this article. It's literally goes the people I've gotten fired Are jealous My of my me to exploits that I do with my daughter What the fuck is this? It's still not over. It says here, Judaism is the only religion on earth that sex says that sex is not just for procreation, surviving, but for intimacy, thriving. As the book

of Genesis says 224, therefore, shelter man leave his father and his mother, he shall cleave unto his wife and they shall become one flesh." Oh, fucking love getting cleaved. It's the only religion where people have families. No other religion, no other religion like tells you to have a family. He's right. And that's why so many anti-Semites attack my book, Kosher Sex, and my daughter Chana's

company of the same name because both are clear distillation of that most essential of ideas that Judaism wants us to celebrate life that Judaism doesn't believe that men and women marry primarily to have children but to feel alive in each other's companies and to make love and that life is meant to be lived at the mountain summit and not just in the deep dark valleys the holiest book of the Hebrew Bible is something that is anathema to the average miserable anti-semite who hates life and all of his fellow human creatures. The Song of Solomon is an erotic lust poem that describes the burning yearning between a man and a woman.

Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies. Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts are like clusters of fruit. I said, I will climb the palm tree, I will take hold of its fruit. For us Jews, lust is hot, sexy, and holy. The tenth commandment is clear. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife, which means, by direct implication, you ought to be coveting your own. That doesn't know what covet means. That doesn't know what COVID means. Can you speak here though? Like, okay, if a fellow approaches you and says, your breasts remind me of gazelles.

Your breasts remind me of gazelles. I want to eat your fruit. She's got a great gazelle. I got to say, yeah, doesn't hold up. Probably very horny for the time. I'm okay. Put it in context, there must have been a huge gazelle thing at the time. No, but I feel it's like with you.

What I like most about Shmueli's writing is not just his use of repetition as a literary device, but just how sort of generous he is with the digressions in which his anger at people making fun of his daughter's butt plug company seemed to take. Yeah, he will not let that go. That is probably the most consistent theme in all of this, that he debated three or four people who are like, hey, how come you make fuck swings with your daughter? Why didn't you do that? She mean she probably like doesn't want this

He either she's probably just like dad. Shut the fuck up, please She's into it, you know, she's into it and the only thing she's not into is having black Jews in Israel That's one thing. She's totally opposed to if you is having black Jews in Israel. That's one thing she's totally opposed to. If you look... Woo! So yeah, Judaism is the only religion that is make sure that sex is about having a good time, not just having children, and that's why everyone who opposes Israel should be killed. We need to call in the National Guard to stop the occupations of the butt plug factory This is like way more egregious than when Israelis act like they invented irrigation. Yeah We invented the at the noon er

Afternoon delight is an ancient Jewish him Was it Gordie doll said about Henry Miller is that he had sex in the afternoon one time and thought he invented it? That's Rabbi Shmueli. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Well, I guess that does it. I hope you enjoyed the second half of this episode, the sex chat about sex and paying

for it or not or having a family. You'll be paying for it one way or the other as long as you have fun everybody. But please don't haggle with your sex worker. Just agree on the... Have some fucking class. And also don't dox them by sharing their name, social security number, date of birth and address in your column for the spectator. Ugh. Ugh. Awful man.

Yeah. I think this is what sums up today's episode. Ugh. Ugh. Ughful man. Yeah, I think this is what sums up today's episode. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. God. I'm glad you're saying that because I feel like I'm like, did I come into this just, you know, grumpy, but it's the no, I think it was like a perpetual sort of parade of disgust, but I'm glad we ended on what we did.

I think we went in in the correct order, you know, because at least with this one, we can, we got some butt plug content, which is just a, it's, it's just always funny. It's never not funny. The two words combined hilarious. Chopper Trap House butt plugs will be available at chopper trap house.com slash merge. All right. So next time I'd just like to remind everyone May 4 at Little Field come see Death Wish three with Hessa and myself it's gonna be a lot of fun kickoff movie mindset season two with Charles Bronson and Amber I am working on getting them to play the man Dom commercial before so we're gonna have a little Bronson film festival yeah mandam mandam Bronson sex hey you have sex with Charles Bronson i say okay

chicken's good i like chicken all right enough of that enough of that ending the show unless there's any other business do i tend to okay until next time everybody, bye bye.