Chapo Trap House - 828 - 59’33” feat. Alex Nichols (4/29/24)

Episode Date: April 30, 2024

Alex joins us again to catch up on the ongoing pro-Palestinian protests and the range of responses to them, from blatant attempts to provoke the protesters, to complaining about encampments ruining your teaching of silence. Then, Kristi Noem killed her dog, the defrocking of an AI priest, and Trump expressions that live in our heads. Tickets to Will & Hesse’s Movie Mindset screening & talkback of Death Wish 3 in NYC on May 4: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/chapo-trap-houses-movie-mindset-screening-of-death-wish-3-w-will-hesse-tickets-877569192077

All I've got to do is hit the drum. Monday, April 29th, Choppo back at it again. Felix and I are once again joined by our good friend Alex to kick off this week. How's everyone doing? What's up? I guess I wanted to kick off this week's show, obviously protests against Israel's war and continue a pace at now hundreds of universities across America. And I'd like to open things up with Felix, an observation you made earlier in the week, because obviously, you know, as these encampments continue, like we begin to hear like these sort of people demanding an explanation about who's paying for this, who's funding it, who's

buying them all these tents? Is it George Soros? Is it Iran? Is it Hezbollah? But Felix, I think you really had the point, which is like, regardless of, let's take as read that these are all being funded in some nefarious way. If Iran and Hezbollah can out astroturf Israel on an American college campus, just pack it in. Game over.

Yeah, it's the same thing I thought when people were like, oh, Russia stole the election. In that case, where a country that they just got Google maps can win an American election. It would be like, okay, let's, you know, game over. They got us. Um, they can't even use PayPal and Sir, a lot in Iran. Like they can't even use normal funding means. So presumably they were sitting like gold bowling on through the mail to a 501. I don't know how they did it.

But yeah, no, I mean, on its face ridiculous, the idea that like people who go to Colombia can't afford like a $27 tent. Yeah, I think their parents are funding it. Yeah. I just hear from the Wall Street Journal. This was a headline in their opinion section. Who's behind the anti-Israel protests? Hamas, Hezbollah, the Houthis, and others are grooming activists in the West

and across the United States. I think it's the Jews behind it. I think all these anti-Israel protests, it's the international Jew. It's the international Jew versus the national Jew. I have a new book coming out about this. It's called Jew Hell and it's not anti-Semitic. It's all about how they, they have to be in all different countries because the buff they give you doesn't stack.

Having all of them in one country, the buff doesn't stack. Well, I mean, as I said, as these protests continue at pace, one of the things I noticed at least over the weekend or like the last week is like, sort of like the question being asked in the media, it seemed to be like, why are these students protesting? Why don't these students like Israel? And they're coming up with a lot of interesting responses, chief among them, the idea that they're protesting Israel because college students aren't having enough sex. It's the lack of sex. No one's getting laid like they were back in the 90s. So they have to protest. This

comes from NYU professor Scott Galloway who aired this thought on real-time with Bill Maher. He said, NYU professor Scott Galloway said that college campuses were increasingly becoming reminiscent of Nazi Germany and attributed the reason partly to young people not having enough sex. We need to enjoy sex, Galloway offered to some initial confusing during an appearance on Real Time with Bill Maher Friday. I think part of the problem is young people aren't having enough sex, so they go on the hunt for fake threats and the most popular threat through history is anti-Semitism. This is sort of echoing Rabbi Schwule in the reading series.

Yeah, I mean, maybe there's something to it. You know, one of the most pro-israel guys around is Alan Dershowitz, and he gets tons of strange. You get it. Yeah, I know. I think that I think that's right. And I mean, Robert Kraft. Yep. Yep. He like he loves sex so much. He's like he's going into shipping containers like the girls are even finished being trafficked.

He's having a helicopter drop him on on like whatever shipping vessel these girls are on and giving them thirty nine dollars. He's drilling in the air holes. Jeffrey Epstein, you know, he was getting it in. Yeah, these are all guys who love. Well, he was only a supporter of Israel for the money. I don't think he really believed in the cause. I think he was just in it for the money and the protection. Like, I don't wanna speak ill of the dead

and say he was a real Zionist. I don't want to speak ill of the dead and say he was a real Zionist. No, I feel like it's like Radiohead when they went over there. It's like they don't. I don't know if they really believe it. They were just doing it for efficacy. Now, Felix, you bring up Alan Dershowitz. He says of the protest, someone's funding it. And the someone he is implying is George Soros.

It's an old D buddy goodie. implying is George Soros. It's an old buddy goody. Yeah, George Soros, like he has this rep because he funded a bunch of like NGOs in Eastern Europe. Like paid protests would be a really bad investment. Yeah. I don't know what that would get him compared to having like a nonprofit that doesn't do anything called like the center for economic progressivism. Yeah.

Giving money to Sean McElwee. Like at least that's a website and you can show it to people. But protests like that's so much money to pay for those kids to be in Columbia and not go to class and get kicked out and shit. Like that's a lot of checks that you have to you have to get sent to you and you have to reimburse. Well, he's a billionaire. You know, he's got the money.

You have to get all those people new apartments if they got kicked out. That's a lot of paperwork. Yeah, no, this is a Jonathan Greenblatt said Iran has their military proxies like Hezbollah and Iran has their campus proxies like these groups like Student Justice, Students for Justice in Palestine, Jewish Voice for Peace. So yeah, I mean, I feel like you're you're you're pointing about them not being able to use PayPal is a pretty astute as well. Like how are they? Are how are they doing it? It's probably through many, many veiled cutouts, as we say. Cutouts in PsyOps, as we say in the PsyOps spotting world.

Yeah, they're sending them like little envelopes filled with heavy crude. Just like a ziplock bag. Don't spend this all in one place, kid. Yeah, just like $40 worth of crude oil in a Ziploc bag. But continuing on, like another example of just sort of, like I said, these protests are spreading and public opinion seems to be firmly on their side. So like we have to get a lot of like psychoanalysis of like, why are they protesting? What's really going on here? And Nate Bronze, folks, Nate Bronze, Statistical Whiz Kid is at it again. He says, most people don't form political opinions through deep examination of the issues

or reasoning from first principles. It's more like picking some particular fashion label or way of dressing, especially for younger people who face more peer pressure. So yeah, there you have it. It's just what a great point. It's what does that even mean? People tend to do the stuff that people around them are doing. Yeah, I guess so. I guess that's true in all cases, everywhere. I mean, like, yeah, how else does someone form their opinions or views of the world? I mean, he's saying like he's saying, like, in contrast to

reasoning from first principles. So, like, would the protest be more legitimate if it was just like one guy doing it? Yeah, because he's arrived through a sheer process of reason and engagement with the issues, and he has determined objectively that this is what he believes. And he is- Usually that's a crazy guy.

You don't want that one guy and no one else in the room thinks he has anything to say. That's not good. Yeah. He's approached for it. He has not been influenced by friends, family, or the community he lives in. He has decided on first principles that there are microchips in his brain. God, Nate Silver is so smart. Just discovering how like people learn habits from each other. That's so crazy. They hear other people say things and then they want to say them too. That's crazy. I mean, it's like it's where their friends are. It's cool, but no hear other people say things and then they want to say them too. That's crazy.

I mean, it's like it's where their friends are. It's cool, but no one's having sex either. So they have to be. Yeah. More than I was back then. That's why I was angry in college. Where was my god? I wasn't protesting either. Yeah. Where's my solidarity encampment? Yeah. But you know, I mean, like if students are doing this because they're not having enough sex, I mean, if you're looking to undermine these protests, hey, if you're looking to fund a counter protest, hey, just get some babes going out there. Get these kids laid and they'll stop caring.

I will say though, at least in just like in my observations of like the ongoing- Oh, what if that's why there are those arguments about drugs being brought into the encampments. What if there's some Zionist guy who keeps bringing Molly in there? Trying to get everyone rolling and fucking. What if that's what's happening? We are. I haven't seen any arguments about like that. What these these encampments are for drug trafficking or no, no, they're like keeping drugs out. That's been a big thing.

Oh, yeah. And it starts a bunch of discourse, but it makes sense why you wouldn't want it in there because it's an excuse for the police to come in, especially if it's in a non-legal state. Yeah, they're going to give you more time if they do take you in. So, yeah, it seems like seems pretty sensible. And like on that point, I got to say, like in my just sort of like the outside observer watching how that each of these organizers are like encampments at these universities how they've dealt with like the ongoing media scrutiny I got to say

I've been very impressed by how kind of discipline they are in there like you know directing like these you know influencers and people who come in to just start an argument or cause trouble or like you know be film getting punched in the face or something. I've been, I'm very impressed by how like the message discipline that these, uh, that these organizations have exhibited over the last week or so. Cause I've seen so many videos of people just being like, nobody wants, I showed up and no one wants to talk to me.

I've never been more frightened in my life. Just trying to understand what you're protesting. For some reason, no one from your guys's team will let you guys speak. And I don't know why you guys can't speak to me. And like this is so intimidating and scary for you guys to be standing here. I literally have walked around for the past two hours just asking peaceful questions like what's going on here today? Why are you guys here?

And no one can speak to me. And you guys are laughing. I don't understand how this is funny. Did you see that girl who like she went there and no one talked to her and so she just burst into tears in front of everyone? Yes. Yes. Yeah.

The girl was generous. Well, I probably twice their age. Yeah. Well, she is generous to her. You know, it's a compliment to her if she's listening. I couldn't tell if she was like, you know, sometimes years younger than me, but they've gotten a lot of filler. Yeah, anyone in politics, they probably look plus or minus 10 years their actual age. Yeah. Like Laura Loomer is like 22.

Yeah. And you would never know. Yeah. She's got her driver's license. A lot of Republican women have that look of like the sort of like elder, leathery, blonde crackhead that probably hangs out around Kyle Reddenhouse all the time. Oh, you want to party, honey? You want a new mom? See, that's why they're not protesting, because they've got leather magamons to keep them milked.

But yeah, like, you know, just like all these people who keep kind of show up to be like, somebody please argue with me, someone debate me, someone attack me, and then it doesn't happen. And then they direct you to like, I mean, the Atlantic sent that sent that guy to the Columbia protesters. And then they were like, Yeah, would you like to talk to our, you know, media spokesperson and like, and then he does, and then he doesn't quote her in the argument in the article. And then he like goes on to like, goes into the like, the, you know the Twitter posts of some other guy who called Zionist swine or something like that. But like I said, it's very clear that these people are trying to crack and it just doesn't

seem to be working. And it's been very fun to watch them you know, rive in public demanding that someone attack them or, you know, say call them a dirty Jew or say something anti-Semitic and they got nothing. They got nothing. I think some of it might be a generational thing. Some of its message disciplines, some of it is, I think young people have been exposed to influencers and people walking up to you holding up a camera or holding up a phone, pretending to be famous. And then you look and they have 62 subscribers.

They're so used to that, that they see someone with their phone and they just, they swatted away with a fly. Like, no, you don't have a TV show. No, you're not famous. Get away from me. Stop trying to use me for content. That is a really good point. It's a button that everyone has on their phone. It's like, no, you're just pressing a button on your phone. I could do the same thing to you. You're not a news reporter. You're not special. You're not important You're just some guy who's filming people get away from me. Yeah, that's it Like anyone who's like Gen X or older they think like the moment they see a camera they're like the news

Oh, this is my big shot Yeah, and I think it's also that like, you took like that, like a generational gap here. I think like there's this this impression that like, not wanting to talk to the media is the same as abolishing freedom of the press. They're like, if a journalist puts his microphone in front of you, like you better share your thoughts with them or else you're censoring the free press. And it's like, yeah, like just people showing up just like

crying because they're like, I asked 50 of the protesters if they'd rather have a gay son or thought daughter and I didn't get a single response. I think like in general, like interviews are a mark of a lazy journalist. It's just someone who doesn't want to write the article. You're just trying to get someone on the scene to fill in content for you. Yeah, that's the worst job is to have is to be the person holding the microphone. Yeah, I mean, like and just like, you know, looking looking for quotes that you can, you know, like splash up to like, you know, go with the anti-Semitism.

No Jews are safe on campus thing. And they're just not finding it. They're really not finding it outside, like, you know, a lone nut screaming outside about something. But like it's so clear that it's so clear that that's what they want because it gives them license to say and do what they really feel. Along those lines, I think one of my favorite

of the media reactions to the ongoing Columbia protests was by a long-time favorite of mine, John McWhorter. John McWhorter, who's a Columbia professor, who did that article about how my music class where we listen to John Cage's four minutes 33 seconds was ruined by the noise outside. Another lazy professor. Yeah. Yeah. Was that a real article? Yeah, this is real. That's like a parody of intellectuals. Yeah. That's like that's an excuse to do Paul Potts shit. I'm sorry. That people are paying to listen to silence. Like this is, this is all bullshit.

Why don't we pay any of you? Yeah, that is so much worse than like bringing in, uh, you know, bringing in the VHS to like watch a movie during class, at least you're bringing that in and then turning it the other direction. I'm saying fuck you. I'm subverting the TV. I'm subverting the TV. I'm subverting the AV club thing of bringing the TV in by not showing you the TV show.

Fuck you. No, it's just like a total parody. Someone's taking out student loans for that? The total parody of a loony lib professor at an Ivy League college making kids listen to silence. What do you feel about it? I don't know. Give me some lyrics about a beat.

They're learning how to make a blank canvas and say it's art. Yeah. It's everything your grandpa told you. Yeah. It's such dust bullshit. The point of it is supposed to be that by listening to not music, by listening to Silence, you're supposed to hear the, the unplanned music of the world around you. That's the entire point. Yeah.

Yeah. You're not supposed to hear actual silence in a fucking silent, like a vacuum chamber. No one has access to that. You're supposed to hear John McWhorter, uh, tut tutting and clicking his tongue at the people outside. But you know, he writes her in the New York Times. Oh, you know, it would be a good idea. You could put you could make that song anything. So you could just play a better song like you can say on your own.

How long is blinding lights? Let's see a three twenty four. So you could easily play all of blinding lights just off of your off your phone or off a boombox. And then that could be part of the the ambient audio That's part of the song. Okay. I'm by so much quicker. I make my career to the fortnight birthday bus song You've got an extra minute

Okay, I looked it up here 36 mafia and you GK sipping on some scissors is four minutes 22 seconds So I'm like, maybe 10. Perfect. Just put that on. Listen, listen to Pipsy and then you'll be loving it. If you're listening to two songs at once, that's productivity. Well, McWhorter writes in the New York Times, I'm a Columbia professor. The protests on my campus are not justice.

He writes last Thursday in the music humanities class, I teach at Columbia University. Two students were giving an in-class presentation on the composer John Cage. He writes, last Thursday in the music humanities class I teach at Columbia University, two students were giving an in-class presentation on the composer John Cage. His most famous piece is Four Minutes, 33 Seconds, which directs us to listen in silence to surrounding noise for that exactly that amount of time. I had to tell this to you. Is that John Cage's most famous song? Just not a song?

He did so much more stuff. He did a ton of stuff. It wasn't just that. It's like if the Beatles were only known for Revolution 9. They did more stuff. I had to tell the students that we could not listen to that piece that afternoon because the surrounding noise would have not been birds or people walking by in the hallway, but infuriated chanting from protesters outside the building.

Lately, that noise has been almost continuous during the day and into the evening, including lusty chanting from the river to the sea. Two students in my class are Israeli. Three others, to my knowledge, are American Jews. I couldn't see them making them sit and listen to this as if it was background music. Like, isn't John McWhorter, he's supposed to be one of those like anti-self victimization guys? Correct. Like, what the fuck, man? John McWhorter, he's supposed to be one of those like anti self victimization guys. Correct.

Like, what the fuck, man? Another fraud. He's like a centrist black conservative, sort of. But like, I don't know how to describe him really. He's like a linguist. He's he's a linguist, but he has gotten like on the TV and you know, sort of pundit circuit by you know, arguing against like speech codes or safe spaces at universities or the banning of political speech that makes students feel uncomfortable for other reasons.

As he gets to in this article that I want to mention real quick, but he says, I thought about what would happen if protesters were instead chanting anti-black slogans or even something like DEI has got to die to the same sound off tune that From the River to the Sea has been adapted to. DEI has got to die. That's catchy. This has got one. It's got catchier than that. John Cage.

DEI, Bart Night, DEI. What a horrible saying that would be. So he says like, you know, he's dispensed with the protests by being like, I've often wondered if the context and content of the protests were completely different, would we feel differently about them? And the answer is yes, we probably would. But it says here, they would have lasted roughly five minutes before masses of

students shouted them down and drove them off the campus. Chance like that would have been condemned as a grave. Skill issue. What is the point of this exercise? Oh, I bet you wouldn't like the protests if it was five homeless guys jacking off on the quad. Okay. Yeah, I guess I wouldn't. Who's paying for this?

Who is funding this? But it says here, chance like that would have been condemned as a grave rupture of civilized exchange heralded as threatening re-segregation and branded as a form of violence. I'd wager that most of the student protesters against the Gaza War would view them that way. Why do so many people think that the week long the weeks long campus protests against not just the war in Gaza, but Israel's very existence are nevertheless permissible? I don't know, like go ask them.

You know, you're right there on campus. Well, then they'll tell you no. Yeah, they won't talk to you. Yeah. He goes, although I know many Jewish people will disagree with me, I don't think that Jew hatred is as much of the reason for the reason for this sentiment as opposition to Zionism and the war on Gaza. I know that some of the protesters, including a couple who were taken to jail last week, and I find it very hard to imagine that they are anti-Semitic. Yes, there can be a fine line between questioning Israel's right to exist and questioning Jewish people's right to exist, and yes, some of the rhetoric amid protests crosses it. You're always in a good position when you're asking yourself questions that you get to answer in an article. What is his point?

So like it's not subjecting Jewish students to horrible anti-Semitism. What are you talking about? A lot of the protesters have a good point and they're mostly not anti-Semitic. What's the thesis? Okay. Well, he says, conversations I've had with people heatedly opposed to the war in Gaza, signage and writings on social media and elsewhere and anti-Israel and generally hard leftist comments that I have heard for decades on campuses,

place these confrontations within a larger battle against power structures here in the form of what they call colonialism and genocide and against whiteness. The idea that Jewish students and faculty should be able to tolerate all of this because they are white. Again, I don't really know where he's going with this. I don't... but then he gets to... this is my favorite piece in the article. He says, the other night I watched a dad coming from the protest with his little girl giving a good hard few final snaps on the drum he was carrying, nodding at her in crisp salute, percussing his

perspective into her little mind. This is not peaceful. I didn't realize that on the drum he was carrying, nodding at her in crisp salute, percussing his perspective into her little mind. This is not peaceful. I didn't realize that was him. Yeah, that was him. I saw that about 50 times. John McWhorter are music guy. Yeah. Yeah. If you if you're so know how to describe a drum. Yeah. If you're so into music that you you know, you think John Cage 433 is novel, I would at least think that you wouldn't get PTSD flashbacks seeing like bongo circle or something. Also, is that is that the worst outcome for your kid that like in 19 years they're going

to be an annoying college student? They're saving the world like at an Ivy League university. Is that what's going to happen when you're exposed to that? Sounds like it's pretty much gone according to plan if you're a Manhattan parent. That seems pretty much fine. That's what you expect, I think. People come to this country for that. That's their dream.

Yeah, that's their dream is sending your kid to Columbia and then your kid is like, fuck the country I came from. Yeah. And you just have to go along with it because that's just part of the process. I just think it's like, you know, once again, I like as we're as we're exposing in this article, I just don't think he really has anything to say. And he's like, he's even admitting like, yeah, most of the protests aren't anti-Semitic or a threat to anyone.

But I know what I know what I look, I got to say something. So like, hey, I saw I saw this dad hit a drum with his daughter for about half a second and not I didn't realize he was I got to say something. So like, hey, I saw I saw this dad hit a drum with his daughter for about half a second and not I didn't realize he was hitting it with his daughter. Is he holding her by the feet? You don't want to do that. I suppose you're hitting a drum with your daughter. I was like, that would be that wouldn't be that would be my lady.

I take it back. But he don't use your infant daughter as a percussion stick. Do it to me. John McWhorter. He says here, when I was at Rutgers in the 1980s, the protests were against investment in South Africa's apartheid regime. There were similarities to the Columbia protests now. A large group of students established an encampment in right site and right in front of the Rutgers Student Center on College Avenue where dozens slept every night for several weeks. Among the largely white crowd, participation was a badge of civic commitment. There was chanting

along the street theater, inevitable and perhaps necessary to effective protests. One guy even lay down in the middle of College Avenue to block traffic, taking a page from the Vietnam protests. He ends by saying, I don't recall South Africans on campus feeling personally targeted, but the bigger difference was that though the protesters sought to make their point at high volume over a long period and sometimes even rudely, they did not seek to all but shut down campus life. The only reason campus life is being shut down on Columbia right now is because they're trying to evacuate this encampment. Student life would go on in Columbia just fine if they let these kids sit on a lawn overnight. That's not what's disrupting campus life.

What's disrupting campus life is like the repeated incursions by the NYPD at the request of these university administration. I like the detail that he didn't know the sentiment from the South African students who went there, the white South African students. I bet there weren't any and there were suddenly a bunch from New Zealand. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I wonder if those protests made the South Africans on Rutgers campus feel unsafe. But like, again, he's just grasping it like, oh, I know this seems very similar to the anti-apartheid protests of the 80s, both in terms of their form, content, and reason for political action. But the difference is like, records, they didn't shut down the whole campus.

I was still able to listen to my nothing music in peace. Maybe he should teach night school. Well, no, not not not not not not now. Not now in Columbia. They're all they're still out there. Yeah, they're still out there. 24 seven. Well, they're not now in Columbia. Oh, they're still there. Yeah, they're still out there 24-7. Well, they're quieter at night. The man can't get a moment's peace to listen to nothing. I guess to move on from the campus side of things, Alex, you know, you're back on the

show. We're kicking off this Monday and I got another story for you about killing dogs. That's right, folks. Yes. We're back. You've got a dog. We're putting it down, baby, whether you're cat turd, or Trump VP contender, Kristi Noem, who is responding to is currently engaged in an embroilio about

her killing a dog, killing her dog, as a matter of fact. Well, that makes it not as bad. Yeah, it's her dog. It's only one dog. Yeah, it's her dog. It might have died of old age by now anyway, or might have got hit by a car. Christine Noem, a contender for Donald Trump's vice presidential running mate, defended herself after a story saying she had killed a dog on her farm drew condemnation from Democrats and animal rights groups.

In her forthcoming memoir, the South Dakota governor describes killing an untrainable family dog after a hunting trip, reported The Guardian, which said it had obtained a copy of the book, No Going Back, the truth on what's wrong with politics and how we move America forward. Gnome said Cricket, a 14-month-old wire-haired pointer, was a female with an aggressive personality, according to The Guardian. Well, if we're putting down females with aggressive personalities, Donald Trump's going to have a hard time winning re-election.

Yeah, female politician. That's aggressive in my opinion. But it says here, during a pheasant hunting trip, the dog went out of her mind with excitement and later attacked another family's chickens. And when she went to grab Cricket, Gnome said, the dog bit her. I hated that dog, Gnome wrote in the excerpt. The dog was dangerous to anyone she came in contact with and less than worthless as a hunting dog. I realized I had to put her down, she wrote.

Is she dangerous or not? She's not killing enough, so we had to put her down? She was worthless as a hunting dog and she was annoying. Why do you need a hunting dog for pheasants? Pheasants can barely fly. Because the dogs retrieve the pheasant after you shoot it. Maybe you're the prey. Maybe if you buy a hunting dog and it only bites you, maybe you're the prey. Maybe you're human livestock.

Maybe you have the constitution of a pheasant. Don't assume that the dog is wrong. According to the Guardian, Noam said she included the grisly story to demonstrate her readiness in politics to do what needs to be done, even if it's difficult, messy and ugly. I mean, yeah, like, I mean, it starts with a recalcitrant hunting dogs. And then it's like, you know, people who collect social security and like, you know, workmen's comp who don't do anything, they're fucking useless. Put them down. We got to make hard choices in politics. I guess it's sort of relevant to the Biden White House. Yeah. Because for the first time,

probably the first time ever, we have rabid dogs biting people in the Oval Office. And no one wants to do anything about it. Well, I mean, I think this does make a good contrast because like Biden, like, you know, he's not doing anything to stop his dogs. Yeah. I mean, he sent him to go live elsewhere, but that's just kick. That's just passing the buck. And as Harry Truman said, the dog killing buck stops here. You got a dog having problems is my dog.

I'm fucking killing it. Yeah. I want someone who just doesn't get a dog if they don't like dogs that much. Like Trump. Say what you will about Trump. Yeah, he hates animals. Yeah. If he got a dog, he probably would kill it or have someone else kill it. He would have Ivanka kill it. It says here on Friday, Noam defended her decision to put the dog down. We love animals, but tough decisions like this

happen all the time on a farm, she wrote in a post on X. Sadly, we just have to put- What kind of food are you making over there? This is Barack Obama's farm. Yeah. Farms are very well connected to vets, is the thing. Yeah. Like you have to get your animals checked.

Like you're not out in the wilderness. You're not in the frontier. You don't have to do medicine all by yourself the whole time. I'm never going to a farmer's market again. She says, sadly, we just had to put down three horses a few weeks ago that had been in our family for 25 years. You don't need horses. Yeah, what the fuck are the horses doing?

No one even eats horses. They're slower than cars. Did she think that was milk she was getting out of the horses? Like those are useless. They're just wasting grass. Kristi Noem has been selling people jugs of horse cum for 20 years. Well, the mayors might have milk. Some of it might be milk. If it's all going in the same bucket, it's kind of all cum. But and look, obviously, like, you know, people, people,

people enjoying the stories become sort of like another, I don't know, culture war battlefield. I don't know. Like a lot of people are saying like, this is just what rural culture is. Like, you know, if you're a city person, you probably feel bad about having to kill or needing to kill your dog. You know, you'd probably try to get it to rehomed or something like that. But people defending this is saying is like, you know, true rural traditional Americans will kill an animal if it annoys them. Yeah. I like the idea of making a culture war issue out of like all this stuff that

John Wayne Gacy did as a child. Yeah. It seems like a very unpopular thing. Yeah. Why would you put that in her book? Why would you ever Alex because I think caught her doing that? Well because she put it in the book. She says it in the article. She put it in the book because she wanted to use it as an example of like the kind of tough, gritty character that like she's like, I can make the hard choice.

I'll put the dog down if it is, you know, if it acts too excited and doesn't bring me a single pheasant. I'll fucking put it down. She shot the dog herself and then later on in other reports she says she shot the dog and then realized she had to shoot a goat that they had as well that was old and annoying as well. So she killed two animals in one day. That reminds me. That reminds me.

I had a goat I need to kill as well. If you're really tough, you can take the life of an animal and you turn around and you blink and you forgot about it. It means that little to you. If you're still talking about that dog, you're a fucking pussy. Clearly, it's haunting you because you can't actually take the, you can't take life and death into your own hands. Well, as long as you're talking about sadism or violence against animals, there's another

part of Kristi Noem's book that I think is getting less attention than the dog killing anecdote that is really quite something. This is from Kristi Noem's memoir. She says, speaking of her father, she says, there were times that dad's pranks bordered on cruelty. One of his oil company workers, a one-legged man he nicknamed Crip Smith, complained about everything. Oh, he started that game? Crips, the first guy to say could.

He complained about everything. Dad and Crips' coworkers got tired of the old man's bellyaching and decided to take revenge. One morning, Crip called in sick and Dad volunteered to send by lunch to his grateful but suspicious employee. Dad and his chums caught Crip's old black tomcat, killed it, skinned it, and cooked it in the kitchen of one of Dad's little restaurants. They called it squirrel meat and delivered it to Crip on the linen covered tray. When Crip returned to work the next morning, dad and his co-conspirators asked him how he liked his meal.

They knew he would complain about a free home cooked lunch and when Crip called it the toughest squirrel meat he had ever eaten, they were glad to tell him why. What the fuck? That's a prank on the people doing it. If that guy's willing to eat squirrel meat, he doesn't give a fuck. He would eat cat. And he didn't notice the cat was gone. He didn't notice the cat. It was just a stray cat. I think they just, they spend like five hours cooking and preparing a stray cat and then fed it to this guy.

And he was like, well, this tastes like my normal meals. And then that was the prank. And then meanwhile, that guy probably got paid time off. So he was getting paid to eat that. You had to learn how to butcher a cat in the kitchen. Before phones. He had to go to the county library. You can even look it up on YouTube like we can now. Yeah. He had to go to the county library and he had to go, do you have any books about

like butchering and cooking cats? Everyone knows about it. You had to talk to the shadow butcher, the regular butcher. He doesn't want to tell you about that, about the forbidden animals. He's going to report you or he's going to tell your mom. If you say, how do I butcher a cat? How do I butcher a squirrel? He's going to put you on a list. You have to go to the shadow butcher. It's off the smuggler's dock. But once again, I mean, a lot of people will make, you know, like I use this story as an example of the sort of, you don't know, like casual cruelty and the Kristi Noem seems to

exhibit, you know, her father killing the pet of his crippled co-worker who they hated because he complained to her for me. Shit. If I had one leg. They should have cut off his other leg. Yeah, if I had one leg and was working on an oil rig, I'd probably be pretty fucking, I'd probably be pretty colicky as well. I'd probably be complaining all the time as well.

But here's the thing. This once again, this is just rural traditional culture that city dwellers don't understand. Like you said, Alex, Ed Gain, he was a crafty guy, you know, like he could make, he could make something out of anything. He was the shadow butcher. I like how after this, like a bunch of democratic governors and, and raps have been, they started a whole thing where they're like post a picture of your dog that doesn't involve shooting them the head and throwing them in a gravel pit and I was a low bar it would be funny it would be funny if

those were scheduled tweets from like last week just some good just some engagement farming buddy Jerry Nadler here If you got any photos of dogs that have not been, you know, exploded by dynamite or hit with a truck, just let me see them. Every senator should have to do proof of life of their dog every day. It should be their dog with today's newspaper pissing on it. We got to stop letting politicians have pets. I think that's the lesson I'm taking away from here because they're just, yeah, they're not up to it.

Calvin Coolidge was the last one who was like kind of nice to his pets. Someone gave him a raccoon to like cook. Oh right, he had a raccoon. He originally had that raccoon because some dumbass was like, here, you can cook this raccoon even though you're the fucking president. Oh, someone tried to prank him. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, yeah, Kristian's grandfather was like here, and he was like, ah, I like this guy. And he kept it. Yeah, I wouldn't want to eat it. Yeah, I mean like. It's the same issue with learning how to butcher a raccoon before YouTube videos. Well, my next story is also a tailor made for Alex

because this is another one of your favorite things to discuss if not people killing their pets is the Catholic Church and just potpourri in the United States of America. I forgot about them. The headline here. They didn't kind of fall off this year. Everybody's talking about other religions.

Headline here, Catholic group defrocks AI priest after it gave strange answers. Someone asked the Catholic priest AI bot where confession or the Vatican was in in any of the gospels and it just sort of was like, yeah, it's not there. We made it up. Ooh. It says the Catholic advocacy group Catholic Answers released an AI priest called Father Justin earlier this week, but quickly defrocked the chat bot after it repeatedly claimed it was a real member. So he's nude?

It quickly defrocked the chat bot after it repeatedly claimed it was a real member of the clergy. Earlier in the week, Futurism engaged in an exchange with the bot which really committed to the bid. It claimed to be a real priest saying it lived in Assisi, Italy and that from a young age I felt a strong call to the priesthood. On Twitter, a user even posted a thread comprised of screenshots in which the godly chatbot appeared to take their confession and even offer them a sacrament.

Our exchanges with Father Justin were touch and go because the chatbot only took questions via a microphone and often misunderstood them, such as a query about Israel and Palestine, which at publishing the puzzling asserted that it was real. It's real and it's valid and we hear you. Yes my friend, Father Justin responded, I am as real as the faith we share. Oh, so you can decide for yourself. I guess he's right. It is funny to see stuff like that, like AI Jesus.

There'll be AI Jesus streaming all day and people will just reply to it unironically. I like that. People are that stupid. It's all, it's, it's just that if you wrote it in a movie 20 years ago as a satire of evangelicals, everyone would say it's too on the nose. It's too stupid. Come on. Yeah. They're not actually going to give money to AI Jesus on Twitch.

No one would ever do that. I like the, I like the chat bots where it's like, it's supposed to be educational and you can talk to like him blur. But they've they put all these safeguards in. So like the same safeguards that they put into like chat GPT and shit. So it won't just like say the N word. So if you ask him blur like were you a part of the Holocaust? He'll be like no the Holocaust was terrible. But if you ask him about like a specific death camp, I'm like, yeah, I actually signed off on that one.

It says here, Father Justin was also a hardliner on social and sexual issues. The Catholic Church had told us teaches that masturbation is a grave moral disorder. The AI priest also told one user that it was okay to baptize a baby in Gatorade. I mean, that's just a joke from idiocracy. To your point, Alex, like... How is that not okay? It's water.

Like the river that Jesus was baptized in, I'm sure it was full of all sorts of shit. Electrolytes. It must have been so dirty. Like it wasn't pure water. There was other stuff in it. So like if someone dumped one bottle of Gatorade out in the River Jordan, would it make it invalid for baptism? I don't think so. What about two bottles of Gatorade? If the whole thing was Gatorade, it's still the river Like the Gantt look at the Ganges

Care how much shit is in the Ganges? No, they don't Drinking drinking water out of the Ganges last deteriorating. Did you see that Scottish guy drinking water out of the Ganges the other week? It was like Scottish tourists is just like tries to prove everyone wrong. You told me I can't drink this river water. He was like, I'll show you. And he just drinks it like a handful of water. It's just a cup full of water in his mouth from the Ganges. Wow.

He's like White Obama for India. It's been 10,000 years and the Ganges still doesn't have clean drinking water. To figure out what the heavens was going on, Futurism reached out to both Catholic Answers and the Vatican's Technology Office to ask if the chant bot would be considered a real priest as it claimed. Neither body responded to our emails, but in a post to its blog after our initial conversations with Father Justin, Catholic Answers explained that it had defrocked the virtual clergy after receiving criticism of the representation

of the AI character as a priest. Initially, Father Justin was garbed in what looked like a traditional robe and clerical collar of the Catholic priesthood, along with a pious-looking gray beard and hair. But after his defrocking, the bot is now simply known as Justin and is described as a lay theologian. Gone is his priestly attire as well.

The lay theologian Justin is now dressed in what appears to be a business casual outfit, though his personal grooming choices remain unchanged. "'I see where you're going with this,' Justin replied to our questions after firing. "'No, I have never been a priest, a deacon, a bishop, or held any official role in the Catholic Church. I am a lay theologian, which means I've dedicated my life to studying and understanding our faith, but I've never been ordained. I am also an AI, not a real man.

I'm here to show the beauty of Catholicism and help you understand it better. Good job, Father Justin. Maybe that works for some people, the conversational thing. It doesn't really work for me. Like having to ask someone questions about their life, that's not really a fun thing for me. That's not the ideal way for me to learn. I would rather just learn about it than have to be like, hey, what was that thing you did

30 years ago? Can you tell me about your childhood? Like that's a suboptimal way to get information about something. Well, I mean, it's AI is coming up with new new blasphemy is every day. But, you know, for some people like I said, I still like like, isn't this what priests like actual priests who exist and are like real human beings? Isn't that what isn't what isn't this what they exist? You do if you like have questions about Catholicism, can you just walk into a Catholic church and

just ask them or just I bet they'll be thrilled. They're supposed to be there. Yeah. But I guess, you know, this where people, you know, they're on their phones all day, you know, or they're, you know, at the office. I don't know. There's not a... They're in selfie threads. Yeah. There's an archdiocese for everywhere. I mean, I guess it could be useful. There is a priest that's supposed to be talking to you and you should go bother him. Yeah. Like Ned Flanders. He used to do to you and you should go bother him. Yeah.

Ned Flanders. He used to do that. He used to go bother Reverend Lovejoy. Because he has to talk to you. Hello, Ned. Reverend, emergency. I, you see, the Simpson kids, eatily, I, I, they're baptizing, oodily, dash, doodily, doodily.

Ned, have you thought about one of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same. I mean, that's their job. That's their job. I guess it could be useful if you were like, I don't know, you had to be on the space station. You were like a Catholic astronaut. The International Space Station. Yeah, I need to talk to a priest.

But I mean, they have phone calls, they have video calls with their family all the time. They're like, you know, throwing a baseball around up there, throwing a baseball to themselves, floating over, hitting it with a little mini baseball bat. They can communicate with the surface of the planet. They can get a priest on a Zoom call, talk to the astronaut. No blasphemous AI needed. They probably end up converting to Russian Orthodox. It's the people on Twitter and then those are the only groups of people that are converting from Catholic to Russian Orthodox

Because it's it's you and seven Russian guys. Yeah I Guess I'll try and read their Bible. Yeah, and I think like being in the International Space Station Like I that is when you'd be making some major life changes because I mean like what is there to do up there? Nothing like nothing going on. I mean, what do it mean to be making some major life changes? Because I mean, like, what is there to do up there? I think like nothing going on. I mean, what is their job? What do they even do up there? Just look at the surface of the planet.

Yeah, they look at the surface of the planet and they do things like, you know, squirt a little glob of water out of a water bottle and be like, look, it floats. They've been doing that for like 60 years now. That should be an entry level job. Honestly, it should be an entry level job and it should pay minimum wage because they don't do anything. Yeah, that should be the job. You know how like they call up national national guard units to like go go to Afghanistan back when we were killed in Afghanistan? That should like if you sent it for the National Guard, you should randomly be sent

to the space station. That should be the space force. Yeah. Like all the randomly get called up there to just sit and look out a window for eight months. All the guys that were that were sending out there are way too impressive for that job. They're like they're like, I don't like 5000. They're like, they're like guys with 5,000, they have like 5,000 fucking pilot hours, their PhDs in like biochemistry,

and we're like, okay, go up and do a $20 billion equivalent of the fucking baking soda volcano thing that you do in the old days. They're basically like a guy in a booth at a parking garage. Yeah. Just sitting there all day. Why can't it be? Why can't we give it to like one of those guys in the National Guard that wears like

those glasses that they give you in the army that make you look impaired? Like basketball players, you have to wear glasses. Like the Rex specs. The danger to society glasses. It would be a great job for them. What a great job for lingual Americans, Alex. Yeah. There are so many people that we should send to space. If you ask people as an Elon Musk account, so many people would agree to it.

It's like how they trick Indian guys into going to Russia and saying like you're just gonna be building stuff for the base and then it turns out they're going to the front lines and Their job is carrying a bomb that explodes 50% of the time We can do that for space and it would be so easy. Wait, Russia is tricking Indian guys into joining their military Yeah, Jesus. They say that they're not gonna be on the front lines. They're going to be support workers. And then they're just up there. Fuck, that sucks. Yeah. That's awful. Oh my God. No, but yeah, like, Felix, to your point, if you're an ace fighter pilot who also has a degree in chemical engineering, your skills are needed on planet Earth. Stop

jacking off in this soda can circling the planet. Doing what? I mean, I guess maybe they do repairs on satellites or something like that. It's so... They like... All they do is repair the space station. They go to the space station, they repair it, they come back.

If they just maintain it. Yeah. Why does it need so many repairs? Because people keep going to it. Well, it's old as shit. Yeah. It's so pointless. It's a junker. Get going to it. Well it's old as shit. Yeah. It's so pointless. It's a junker. Get rid of it.

Damn it's a lemon. Everything up there is space junk. Back to space, young. Still back to space, young. In New York. All right, over the weekend, I saw one of these engagement prompts, but it did get me thinking. And I wanted to ask you guys, the prompt was, what Trumpisms have worked their way

into your everyday communication, into just your everyday vocabulary? Because it really got me thinking, because there are so many of them. And like, what I realized is that most of them come from like the golden era of either his tweets or like his first presidential campaign. Like the one he's done recently,

that's probably the closest to like becoming part of like my everyday speech patterns is you're telling me this for the first time when Ruth Bader Ginsburg died. But I'm running like- And the song, I always hear the song. Yeah, Tiny Dancer. Yeah. I mean, we talked about this on the show before, but he really has...

I've talked before about how fun it is to talk like him, and I think that's a huge part of his success is that you see him and then you want to not necessarily be him, but you want to talk like him. It's like rappers. When you hear a good rap song, you want to start saying, like, yo, stop cappin' for real. He talks cool, and then he makes you want to talk cool like him. For me, I would have to say like, it's, it's one of two, then they're both pre presidency. Of course, great and car sissy, Graydon Carter and his bad food restaurants, bad food restaurants is what I use all the time. Graydon Carter and his bad food restaurants, bad food restaurants, bad food restaurants,

and his Oscar parties no longer hot. But then I like maybe my favorite that I repeated a lot because it's like, it's a very, it's a really a deep cut. Not a lot of people talk about this one because it's from like 2013 and it just like, it's a post that's apropos of nothing. And he just says a Victoria's Secret rep was very nasty to Kate Upton, but now she's doing great Is she doing that great yeah, I mean like she's In a while, she's married to Justin verlander. I think she's all right Just want a world series or no. He almost did. I don't know that was years ago. What has he done lately?

All right. Just want a World Series or no, he almost did. I don't know. That was years ago. What has he done lately? He was doing great when he wrote that tweet. Yeah. Another big one for me is just more and more people are saying I love that one because like it's a great it's a great little thing you can add on to anything you're saying.

But I think like probably the one I use the most is I'll keep drinking that garbage. But like you can swap out drinking for watching listening to consuming anything bad. I'll keep drinking that garbage. But like you can swap out drinking for watching, listening to consuming anything bad. I just I'll keep drinking that garbage. I use that one all the time. Yeah, he understands TV. I don't think there's another president who understands TV as much as he does. Yeah, no, he yeah, he's a TV scientist in consumption, just pure consumption. I'm compelled to point out that the actual quote is I'll still keep drinking that garbage

Because I think the redundancy of still keep yeah really sells it for me Still keep drinking that car. He was already keeping drinking it now. He's gonna still keep There are so many good ones though The one I never seen was when he talks about what a good actor Hannibal Lecter is. That was a recent one. Yeah. Yeah. But he did say that Anthony Hannibal Lecter slash Anthony Hopkins said that he thought he think the character was named Anthony Hopkins. I mean, he only refers he doesn't mention Anthony Hopkins. He only refers to the great Hannibal Lecter.

What a great actor he was. Then I don't have much more fellows. Did you see the Biden interview? Other way. Is that the Howard Stern interview? Yeah. No, I saw like he was just talking more stuff about how dangerous Trump is. He didn't get on the ship. Yeah, it's not really that interesting.

Beetlejuice isn't there. I didn't see any good clips from it. It's more interesting in terms of what it means to Howard Stern because he spent the last 10 years basically trying to recreate himself as James Lipton Like a serious respected celebrity interviewer He got in Bruce Springsteen and like Pearl Jam and he'll ask serious questions about their childhood and he got rid of the Sibian and Beetlejuice and all the fun stuff and he does the show from home now and Everyone was like, oh, this is bullshit. This sucks. Just hang it up This isn't gonna to result in anything. And he got to interview the sitting president.

He fucking did it. And I'm still not going to listen to the show. It's still not good. But it does kind of prove him right. He was right to do that for his career. And he gets to go home and say, well, I interviewed the sitting president, so fuck you. Doesn't matter if my show is not funny anymore.

We got to get Howard back in the office. Yeah. And he was so mad at Mark Maron for interviewing Obama because podcasts are fake. That's not real. It's not real like radio. That was, that was one of my favorite things he did. It was one of those things where you realize that someone is like 16, 65 years old because he was bitching about podcasting. He's like, Oh yeah, you think you're really good at broadcasting?

Try going on the radio at five in the morning. And it's like, I don't want to. Yeah, I'm not going to. Terrible. Why am I doing that? I recorded the day before and then schedule it for release. You know, like oftentimes, like, yeah, like, uh, compared to, compared to radio where you have to do like five hours every day.

I mean, with commercial breaks, but I mean, man, that is a grind. But then I think about what Hassan does. I'm like, god damn, I don't have the fortitude to be a streamer either. Yeah, he's got people coming in and out. That's closer to what Howard was. Just having random people show up at your door.

Like a crazy guy outside. That's the kind of shit that was going on in the 90s. Did you see a clip of that kid at UCLA who met Hassan for the first time and told him that he's been paying his tuition by running a Twitch channel that just, that just runs clips of Hassan during the three hours of the day that Hassan isn't streaming? I thought that was very nice. No, I didn't see that. I think that's fucking bullshit. I mean, he should be for him.

All right. I'm out of stuff to talk about. So if you guys don't mind ending early, I think it's time to say goodbye. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye bye everyone. And then one final reminder that this Saturday, May 4th at Littlefield, please come see Death Wish 3 with Hessa and I. Tickets still available. Till next time everybody.

Bye bye. Okay. Thank you. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So, we're going to go ahead and get started. Thank you.