Chapo Trap House - 897 - Urquellization (1/6/25)

Episode Date: January 7, 2025

We catch up with news over our long week off, including brief hits on the two new years truck attacks (more on that Thursday), MAGA civil war over immigration & visas, various instances of Musk buffoonery, Biden’s presidential medal of freedom recipients, and Semafor’s survey of what people in the media ‘got wrong’ about 2024.

All I wanna do is hit the drum. Right, back at it in 2025. It's had a few weeks off, but it's back to the content minds and the OG Dryboys. We are riding again today. It is me Will Felix and Matt Fellas welcome to 2025 welcome back. Let's hit it hard Guess I'll start off America rang in the new year

for 2025 with the traditional American fashion with two terrorist attacks carried out by currently serving or former US Army soldiers. Now I will say that our Thursday episode that we have scheduled for this week is going to be a much deeper dive into these terror attacks and sort of a general culture of the US military and it's a great army bases like Fort Bragg. Just to kick things off, I don't know how you guys felt. I don't have too much to say about these terror attacks off the top of my head, but I will say the fact that the Vegas guy, the guy who blew up a cyber truck in front of the Trump Hotel in Vegas, the fact that his name is literally Life Is Burger. I know his name is literally Life Is Burger.

I know his name is Livell's Burger or something, but when you read it, it looks like Life Is Burger. And I thought, what are they doing? What are they, what are they? That's what Gomer Pyle would say before killing himself in Hartman if Full Metal Jacket was made. Now, I command, like, Private Pyle today,

they would kick him out of the Marines for being underweight and, uh, you know, they would go, you're too, you're too skinny. Uh, what are your pronouns? Because the military is woke now. And he would, he would get mad about that and he would go, life is just a fucking burger and kill himself in the drill instructor. I am in a world of burger. Hi, Joker.

Would you like burger? I mean, the only joke I've come up with about the the New Year's terrorist attacks is the years of bread. That's pretty good. Yeah. of bread. That's all I've got so far. That's pretty good. Yeah. I don't know. There are some interesting details about both of the men involved in these terrorist attacks and some of the circumstances surrounding them, particularly the fact that the Vegas guy rented a cyber truck and then in an email to his girlfriend was like, it's

badass. It makes me feel like Batman or Halo. I guess it's just, I mean, if nothing else, if there is an intention behind these terrorist attacks, it's to undermine the way we think about operators in American culture because I usually thought their internal monologue would be like, I don't know, just in like Delta Bravo talk and talking about kinetic situations. But no, he's just thinking about driving the warthog from Halo and then and then blowing himself up in front of the Trump Tower to raise awareness about gravitational anti-grav

drones. I don't know. Like I said, there'll be more discussion of this on Thursday. Yeah, I like all the guys who do this type of thing where it's like, they send an email to like everyone they've known where it's like, judgment days now. Don't say that you knew me. History books will remember my decision today. And then they drive headfirst into the lobby of a hotel or like try to kill Trump with like a blow dart and get shot 470 times. It's a lot of the times it seems like these guys like are Trump guys and they just, I don't know what they experienced. Maybe they like they had an internal monologue for the first time in their life

and they're like, who the fuck is telling me to do all this gay shit? I don't know. Maybe they're bored and they're like, I love Trump. They're trying to stop Trump. I should kill Trump so they can't kill him. I don't know. I just like, I feel like certain famous people or not so famous people have intangible qualities that cause absurd reactions in people. I am one of those not so famous people where for some reason schizophrenics just like love me. You know, I'm constantly approached by schizophrenics. They're constantly accusing me of things. They're saying that I'm their parents and that I conceived them in 1994. They followed me internationally. But I think Trump is like a because

he's at you know, he's a step higher. He's like, there's just something about like the timber of his voice or his look or whatever that it attracts people who like are like sub Timothy McVeigh IQ. So they can't actually really kill anyone, but they have the same impulse to do a terrorist attack, but because they're bored, he just, he really, more than anyone else in the world, he's the guy most likely to get killed by his own supporters because they're bored I'm a mess in a schizophrenic who conceives if there any internal monologue is Cortana telling them to do things I'm finishing this fight

You pull onto the Vegas strip, something to finish this fight. I love that when he told that girl, I feel like Batman or Halo, she just didn't say anything. And he's like, well, that seals it. I'm killing myself. And Trump's building? If I kill his building, he'll die. Or if I, I guess if I blow up his building, he'll have to come out and be like, what's the meaning of this? And also I don't know what he thought. Yeah. Well, I don't know I mean also the fact that he was shot in the head before the explosion went off. Like I said, well I'll have a deeper dive into this on Thursday

But like, you know, let's just say look for people who can suspicious about this Look, there's such a thing as a time device Okay you light the fuse blow your head off, and then detonate 200 fireworks in the back of your... And by the way, I love the Elon's response to the Cybertruck bombing because he was like, the Tesla Cybertruck is probably the worst car to use in a car bombing because of its steel frame will contain the blast.

Yeah. Like, I don't... I just don't understand that as like a sales pitch. Like if you're like, well, I have a lot of disposable income, but I'm also crazy. Like I don't know what I'm going to do 10 years in the future. I might, you know, I might hear one millisecond of an ISIS song and be like, this seems like a good idea, but I don't want to hurt anyone when I do like I know now that that's a bad thing to do. But I won't know it then when I go crazy. Well, I mean, I guess that's the first thing I released just

covering the things that we missed over the last couple weeks is, I don't know, like the the rise of Elon Musk is just like, he's having a good old time. He's christened himself Cacus Maximus I mean when I heard that Felix I had to think of you because it's just like Is there is there any figure like as sort of culturally relevant as Elon Musk who nonetheless seems to be about five years behind? Everything yet. That is what really fucking astounded me is Okay, where did he find someone that was doing like Keck

stuff? In the year 2024 or wherever he found it, like you have to go back so far to find like Keck accounts. You know, my favorite account, KeckistanGov, that like, I retweeted him all the time. The guy who's like, whenever I see a normie, I want to puke. Uh, I, I like the Kekistan stuff is so innocent compared to what we have fucking now. It's crit. Like Kekistan is just like fucking lame. If you go, if you go on those inactive Kekistan accounts, I find they're always saying stuff like, Kekistan stands against all discrimination, you know? And it's like that would not fly. If you were the coolest Kekistan guy in 2017, you would be called gay by videos of moms being beheaded.

Who's like, you know, now the new the new co chair of the Trump campaign. Like you would you would you would get laughed out of the room. But Elon, I don't I don't know what's going on with him. He saw this stuff and he's like, oh, is this gripper? It's actually quite it's actually quite funny. It's like a Roman. It's like a Roman, but he like a Roman but he's a frog. And therein lies the joke.

Well, there was a couple things with Elon Musk over the last couple weeks. And I guess the main one was begun, the Griper War has. And it was sort of like right in between Christmas and the New Year, there was this sort of intramagic civil war over over Elon Musk and Vivek and their support for the H1B visa program, where I don't know, it just seemed like a lot of people found out that it was just sort of like, oh, like, we thought we were against all immigration, legal or non-legal immigration. But like it turns out that the people who funded Trump and Silicon Valley, of course, very interested in legal immigration from people that they consider useful and

exploitable, like from South Asia, particularly to be, you know, software engineers for their for their tech companies. But I mean, like it seemed like it's over pretty much as soon as it started, because Trump was like, we need the best. You've got to have the best. And the H1B is a very good program. It's got we got to have the best players on our team. And I mean, like, as soon as he came out for it, it seemed like that kind of went away. But I just like, I don't know, it was just a question of like, if you supported Donald Trump, like, what did you think was going to happen when he became president, that he was going to make a choice that valued or prioritized American workers over a more highly exploitable version of the same thing? Yeah, I mean, like, I am confused by the people who are like feel betrayed by him, because it's like, he was president already, and he did this kind of stuff all the time. My favorite thing that Trump does

is whenever there's infighting in his camp and he has to sort of play unifier, because it goes so against his biological programming as a messy bitch. I remember the first time this happened when it was like the the Bannon faction versus the Kushner faction. And, you know, just like Kekistan, Bannon would get called gay now by all the guys who are like, you know, fucking let's kill all the Indians.

But he, when that happened and they're like, it's the, you know, the fucking, they're globalists in the administration. We ran against globalists and they're globalists. And he said, well, I'm a globalist and a nationalist. And I thought I was so cute when he said that. But it just, he's just, he doesn't really know what to do because his entire life he's been rewarded for doing the opposite of that. Like he's a reality TV guy, you do the opposite of that.

Like the people who are saying, this isn't what we voted for. I mean, you did four years or fucking eight years ago. This happened already. Like what, it's like if Biden ran again in 2028 and we elected him when he's like 97 and he just he did a bunch of Brandon stuff and we were like, what the fuck? We thought you were going to nationalize the electric power grid. What the fuck, Brandon?

People would know you elected Brandon. You went to the Brandon store and got some Brandon I mean I think the reason that that that that people got so riled up over this though I mean I think the inciting incident what I think what I think will be in the years to come will be regarded as sort of a Martin Luther 95 theses moment was Vivek Rameswamy's book length tweet explaining that the problem with Americans, i.e. white Americans, is their rotten, stupid, lazy culture of entitlement and sloth and indolence?

I really love this post from, because he's just doing the pull up your pants thing, but he's applying it to native-born white people, you know, in terms of like, and promoting the values and culture of East and South Asian immigrants. And I just want to read a little bit from this post because I find it fascinating. Vivek writes, the reason top tech companies often hire foreign-born and first generation engineers over Native Americans isn't because of an innate American IQ deficit a lazy and wrong explanation a key part Generous of you be back

Because I mean it basically just goes on to say that it is it is a fault of them You say it's it uses its key part of it comes down to the c-word cunt no culture Their moms have like their pussies are too deep It when the kids fall out of it they start with head trauma Their pussies are sideways like Asian Where we're smarter because we come out sideways. Yeah. The C word culture. So like he's letting white Americans, it's not a problem with our IQ. Our IQ is, you know, at least as good as the dumbest Chinese kid.

But our culture is lacking. Our culture is lacking. And he says here, tough questions demand tough answers. And if we're really serious about fixing the problem We have to confront the truth Our American culture has venerated mediocrity over excellence for way too long At least it's at least since the 90s and likely longer. This doesn't start in college. It starts young Oh, so around the time that you were a kid and experiencing culture Very coincidental.

Well, I mean, the cultural references in here are fascinating. He says, a culture that celebrates the prom queen over the math Olympiad chant, or the jock over the valedictorian will not produce the best engineers. A culture that venerates Corey from boy meets world over Zack and Slater. Okay, sorry, a culture that venerates Corey from Boy Meets World, or Zach and Slater over Screech in Saved by the Bell, or Stefan over Steve Urkel in Family Matters will not produce the best engineers.

Now, I mean, I'm just sort of- Screech wasn't smart. No, no he wasn't. He just, he was just annoying. Yes, no, Urkel he just he was just annoying No, you don't even know anything about this culture. What are you talking about? Yeah, but he's a huge hog I mean, I mean first of all, like I love the idea that like I mean It's hard to imagine an American an American culture and like and you know I guess this gets my native born nationalism up. But it is hard to imagine America

continuing to exist as a nation, if we as a culture celebrate the math champion over the football team. Yeah, like all of that. It reminds me of all this stuff where people go like, Oh, in South Korea, they do this. And it's like, great, let's be like a country that has a 178 percent suicide. That sounds fucking awesome. Like I like like it's also like it's just it's a stupid dichotomy. Every fucking like athlete I knew in high school was also doing

like very well academically. All very you have to be very disciplined to achieve that level of success athletically. Yeah, like oftentimes, like single-mindedly pursuing something or not single-mindedly, but like pursuing something like that makes you better at other things. Most of the athletes I knew who were like on varsity were like doing far better in school than I was like what you know ended up going to like far better colleges Second of all, it's like okay. What does he think the point of family matters?

Family matters point because when he says he says or Stefan over Steve Urkel in Family Matters That is such a fucking I mean like that is such a 90s kid point of reference for this like current culture war, because he's referencing the late late seasons of Family Matters, where Steve Urkel invents something that like basically rewrites his DNA to get pussy. And then like emerges from like the Brendle fly teleporter as Stefan Urkel, not Steve Urkel. And he goes from being like, did I do that to be like, hey there, hey there, miss thing, what you doing later? And then like, I love the idea that Vivek thinks America betrayed Steve Erkel

by liking Stefan Erkel more than them. Yeah, like this to me, it sums up entirely the mentality of like these Silicon Valley guys like Elon Musk or Vivek or any of these weirdos because it's like they just want the Steve Urkel invention. There's not like AI will still not make them cool. And like, but like so they imagine that America is venerating Stefan Urkel over Steve Urkel and they just they know that they're Urkel. I really like the idea of Vivek Ramaswamy watching the Stefan Urkel, Steve Urkel episodes in a young age and it like activating something in him.

Like him watching them being like, inside me there are two wolves. You're not supposed to like him. Yeah. I really think like that is it though. Like it's, I feel like every time you see Vivek like put on a stupid cowboy hat or be like, isn't big mouth bass fishing spectacular?

I love doing it. There's a part of him that's just like, see that he's so fucking mad. He's so fucking mad that he has to do this jug hooter shit because that's not who he is. He's also not Urkel, but he is like a reasonable likeable or well, I think that he probably did the Urkel thing of like constantly being at a girl's house and her being like, can you fucking go away? And her dad hating him. But, um, he's a resentful person, which is why, you know, famously he, he made his,

his millions of dollars by scamming people, by lying to all these jug eaters and going, Hey, uh, I'm going to, I'm going to, yeah, I'm going to, you know, your grandpappy that's been drinking the paint because he thinks it's phosphate because he thinks it's an ice cream soda. I'm going gonna fix him. Just kidding. This is all clearly adolescent resentment. Yeah, and that's why all the references are based

in shows he watched as an adolescent. When he was just getting mad at Zack from Saved by the Bell getting with Kelly. This was going to be his valedictorian speech. That's probably where the Vivec thing started. He was to be his valedictorian speech. And he, like, that's probably where the Vivek thing started. He was going to give a valedictorian speech where he's like, you're, you're all Zach, I'm Screech, you know, you're, fuck you. And then he was like, nope, can't do that. People have to like me if I'm going to sell my fake Alzheimer's drug. And he was like, I, I dedicate this valedictorian award to the house of pain.

I love listening to them. And that's when he started pretending to like all this stupid stuff. But yeah, this was, um, I like, I've never seen anyone misread the moment that like he, he ate so much shit. He laughed at jokes about him running a 7-eleven in the White House to get close to Trump and ingratiate himself with all these people. He's like, haha, yeah, I do wipe my ass with my hand. Ha ha. Terrific. All all so he could get to this position and be like, you know, you we need coding wilderness

programs for for for jug hooters. I don't know. He's I don't know what he's gonna do now. I mean, what people are gonna remember this. But like, like he says in the beginning, he's like, if it's not for any like lack of IQ that they're being hired, and then he makes it all about culture, whatever, but like, this this allies the main reason why this program exists is so that they so that the same people like people can be hired to do the same job for considerably cheaper and in a state of greater precarity like they're like these jobs that's below market rate there's no citizenship and

their and their visa for being in this country is tied to their employment. So that, I mean, like obviously Silicon Valley would love all their, if, yeah, if, if we, if we want Silicon Valley to hire native born Americans, we just need to tie American citizenship to your employment for, at Tesla. There have been some great takes about all this and I'm not getting into the H1B visa itself yet, um did you see Patrick bet David? Oh my god yes. This has been an all-star month for every like Iranian or Indian MAGA guy to like just you know come out the gates swinging and piss everyone off. Patrick bet David who I don't know what he does said, when I came to America as a Persian immigrant,

you know, blind the fact that his family were like Savak torturers who came here with like fucking, you know, priceless gold and jewels hidden in fucking toothbrush containers that that they plundered from Zoraster's tomb. He he he said, what I my my only advantage I had was that I would work 100 hours for everyone else. And it's like doing what being Patrick bet David. Providing value payment. Yeah. But I got hired in value payment in 1979. Felix, did you see the the painting that that Patrick Bette David has in his thinking room? No, what is it?

Okay. Oh my God. This is like as a fallout from all of the like actually like right wing or like around like 100% anti immigration MAGA people are furious at him now so that they've like surfaced this like video where he gives a tour of his house and in the in the house he gives a tour of what he calls his thinking room whom he goes into and he wants to think. I thought that's what you were calling it. No no no no so he has he has a he has a giant painting in his thinking room and this is a custom painting that he commissioned very much in the style of dogs playing poker. But OK, OK, the painting pictures, it's like a bank vault, like a huge like a bank vault, like like a safe door open.

And then inside the safe is another thinking room with like, you know, bookshelves and, you know, like fine chairs and you know tables. I just put a link of it to the chat in fact also I'll screen share. Okay so in this painting it depicts him Patrick Bette David in a thinking room inside a bank vault okay okay conversing with Abraham Lincoln Albert Einstein John F Kennedy the Shah of Iran, Dale Earnhardt, Milton Friedman, and Martin Luther King Jr. Is that Tupac too?

Oh, and Tupac. Yeah, I'm sorry. What is Tupac going to talk about with the Shah? Jesus! What? Jesus! First of all, the shot would not be in a room with Einstein. Let's get that out of the way. Like, he would not enjoy that one bit. Who do you go to to get something like this made? Let me ask you. Gentlemen, if you had a thinking room, what great thinking figures would you want to inspire further thoughts in your own head?

I would have like, not just a bust. I would have a full motion statue of my tray at Dan Quinn. That would, it would be motorized to stimulate his amazing hand speed. It is prime. I would have a Demonious X bust where if you, it's on my shelf and if you move the jaw, if you tilt his beer can up, it opens a secret room. And that's the true thinking. That's the internal monologue room that you can go into. And it's, if anyone's played the Dartmoor level of Hitman, it's like the Secret Rooms and that.

And then when you go in there, it's all my guys, Agent 47, Trigger from Ace Combat, you know, all the Halo, Master Chief, Solid Snake, all of them, all of them played by actors living in this tiny crawl space in between rooms 24 hours a day. And they have to stay in character the entire time because I can come to them at any time, you know, with any problem. And they have to answer me in character. The guy who's playing Kiryu has been playing that role in my house for 29 years. He's now the same age as Kiryu in the games. He's 64. The secret key is a flashlight.

Hey, that's Marie Curie's flashlight. Okay. Only the smartest only the smartest flashlights for me, please. This is the This is the thinking room. And what I love about that painting is that it portrays his thinking room in a bank vault because the thoughts taking place there are so valuable. They're so value tamed. It's, they're both valuable and entertaining. So it has to be kept under lock and key.

Just real quick, I just want to round out the, the Vivek thing because there's a few more cultural references that I really enjoyed. He prescribes more movies like Whiplash, fewer reruns of Friends. I mean, I'd like to say more movies in general and fewer reruns of old television shows. I agree with that. But I love that Whiplash is the movie he chose as the kind of movie we need more of, because in my opinion, it is one of the dumbest movies ever made. as the kind of movie we need more of because in my opinion it is one of the dumbest movies ever made and it's about a guy who learns that being the best drummer means that you have to drum faster than everyone else and losing your entire life and family to do so is a worthwhile goal.

I would love to hear Vivek's opinion on one of my favorites Gattaca. Did he watch that movie and he was like all right he succeeded that's great. He like, all right, he succeeded. That's great. But he says more math tutoring, fewer sleepovers, more weekend science competition, sleepovers, more weekend science competitions, fewer Saturday morning cartoons, more books, less TV, more creating, less chilling, more extra curriculars, less hanging out at the mall. Most normal American parents look skeptically at those kinds of parents. Most normal American kids view those kinds of kids with scorn. If you grow up aspiring to normalcy, normalcy is what

you will achieve. Then he goes on to say, this can be our Sputnik moment. We've awakened from slumber before and we can do it again. Trump's election hopefully marks the beginning of a new golden era in America, but only if our culture fully wakes up. A culture that once again prioritizes achievement over normalcy, excellence over mediocrity, nerdiness over conformity, hard work over laziness." And I guess he's saying that like, we don't want more normalcy. I guess I just wonder how winning the message this is. Because if excellence requires your kids working 100 hours a week until they die, I don't think I think most Americans would choose mediocrity and normalcy.

Yeah. There's nothing wrong with just having a normal life in which you are not in a state of destitution because you don't work harder than like, I don't know, everyone in China or India. Something that stood out to me and I felt gave away the fact that Vivek is, he's not a science guy, he's a scammer, is the fact that he thinks it should replace sleepovers. The thing that every parent knows, the moment they start having sleepovers,

you might as well take them out of school and enroll them in trade school. Whenever girls have sleepovers, every girl that I ever knew who had sleepovers You might as well take them out of school and enroll them in trade school. Whenever girls have sleepovers, every girl that I ever knew who had sleepovers starting in sixth grade, they're all homeless now. They work as random mobs in my gaming mansion. I pay them to attack me and I beat them with, with a tire iron, like 47. But, um, he said the thing that should replace those and chilling and going to the mall. Another thing people don't do anymore is a weekend science contest.

What is a weekend science contest? You fucking idiot. It's where Ahmed built the clock. That's a science fair. There's a science fair, but there's no such, what does a science contest entail? Whoever built the most intricate fucking baking soda volcano? What are you talking? There's no, weekend science contest is not a thing.

He's fooled everyone in that world into thinking that he spends all day tinkering with beakers And Benson and Bunsen burners when really he's closer to Hawk to a He's much more like her. Hey less outdoor summer hoops more indoor summer math league Yeah, when I think about how America became a cultural and economic superpower, I mean, I don't think I'm being glib here when I'm saying I think having sleepovers, chilling with friends and being cool kind of had a lot to do with it. Yeah. I mean, what would be the point of working 100 hours a week if you had no memories, nothing to strive for, nothing at the end of that

rainbow. I mean, I guess for Vivek, it's the end of the rainbow is becoming the president and delivering a State of the Union where you're like, we're ceremonially killing Stefan. We're ceremonially sentencing Homer Simpson to prison. We're, we're, we're ceremonially sentencing Homer Simpson to prison. Yeah. Yeah. I am going to be head Bobby Hill with a, with a kukri knife. Well, we dance around the obvious, right?

Performance equals citizenship. Yes. You know, yes. Yeah. Productive then fuck off. Yes. You know, productive then fuck off. But of course, you know, uh, no one has, uh, uh, deported to, so it's like performance or dropping it into the volcano. The baking soda volcano.

But I mean, like, I guess like a corollary to this blow up over the H one B program, the visa program, is this like this incredibly like ever evolving, the ever evolving position of liberals and how they feel about immigration in this country. And Felix, I know you pointed this out this week because Bernie was the one who came out and said like actually this H-1B visa program actually does harm American workers and it's like only seeking to create a thoroughly exploitable class of, you know, guest workers at the expense of jobs that should rightly go to

Americans for, you know, a better wage. And then just like the the torrent of people being like Bernie is a white supremacist now. And it's just like, what like what what do they want out of immigrants? Like to say that like, I mean, look, look, there'd be no problem with the program, like I said, if they just paid market wage for these same jobs and there was citizenship at the end of it or whatever. But this is just a purely a program of just exploitation that does indeed come at the expense of American workers. But just like the evolutions that they've gone through from being like kids in cages is the most horrific atrocity imaginable to Donald Trump won't even let us implement his

own border plan that gets rid of the legal right to asylum, to then just being like having being critical of the H1B program, it means that you're racist against all South Asians. Yeah. No, you cannot have all three. It's not possible, no matter how hard you try. And it's just like, immigration in general and wages, I feel like the thing that I've seen on like the liberal economic side of it for the longest time has been, well, okay, yeah, companies do pay these people, especially in agribusiness, they pay these people like significantly below market wage, but that doesn't drive wages down because.

And it's like, well, why, like, then that would be the only time in history that has ever happened. Where you, there's a group of people that you can pay significantly less. Sometimes it's enshrined in law, the reason that you can do that, sometimes you are just breaking the law, but then it doesn't drive down wages. Why? Someone is lying here. And of course, that's not the fault of the immigrants, but like it is in general, like I just immigration is like in a way the only people that are kind of honest about it are the grocers. They're the only ones who are like kind of saying what they want because everyone else

they're dressing it up in this flowery shit for liberals. It's like you don't want taco trucks? You know, who's going to clean your toilets, Mr. Trump? You know, blinding the fact that they also want incredibly cheap labor for their companies, for their households. And most of all, they want to feel like they're doing something for somebody while also exploiting them. For the pro H1B side of MAGA, it's the same thing. You know, we're making them based by making them Americans. They're more based than most Americans. They come from based cultures. I think you'll find that the heritage population of native-born Americans are dangerously unbased

and we replace them with more based immigrants from Asian countries. But also like to the food truck thing, there's also this like rhetoric that's being employed by Trump now, but also like liberal defenders of this about like the best and brightest from the world over, which like, yeah, that sounds good America, the land of opportunity, like why wouldn't we want the best and brightest from everywhere? But like, when that process is like, sort of draining the best and brightest from the countries that like they're born in for our benefit at the expense of those countries, it's like, wouldn't the best and brightest of those countries prefer to just be the best and brightest of India or, you know, or elsewhere, rather than do it here for our benefit?

That is the main thing, really, that I think with all this. Like, the delusion for everyone, right, is that everyone wants to come here because of these innate intangible qualities that have very little to do with economics about America. That America is so great that everyone would kill themselves to be here. When the fact is I don't think it's like a good thing that you should have to leave your fucking home to survive, to ensure your family's economic stability. Like ideally, we would live in a world

where we fuck with other places less and they don't experience the economic turbulence and social unrest that comes with that. It's just, you know, the idea that we're doing anyone a favor by forcing them to come here is just fucking delusional. But, but, um, I, like, I have noticed that that exact thing you brought up, like, uh, don't you want the best brightest? It's often, it's often said by the same people who like say that we need this global race to the bottom in international wages because if we don't we're impoverishing these developing nations. So which is it? Should we

should we let these nations develop by preventing brain drain or are we doing them a favor by by uh going low like circling the drain in wages as much as we can every year and moving manufacturing accordingly. Well, like I said, it'd be interesting. I'll be interested to see where the how the general just how the Trump Elon Musk dynamic shapes up as his administration gets ready to be inaugurated. Now, I'd like to move on though to the waning days of the Biden era of American politics. And I did see a great clip earlier today. It's a video Biden snaps at reporters. I know more world leaders than any one of you ever met in your whole goddamn life.

I know more world leaders than any of you have ever met in your whole goddamn life. And like that's such a funny thing to brag about. I would hope you were alive for many of them. Yeah, no, I mean, I would, I would presume a 27 year old Bloomberg reporter has not met the Kaiser like you have. I've been to more states than any of you fuckers. It always reminds me of Andrew Hudson's listen, kill yourself. I do want to talk about like, some of the great pageantry as in the lame duck session of a presidency. But I want to talk

about this year's Medal of Freedom recipients. The Medal of Freedom. It was a doozy this year. Oh my god. My god. So like these are all the people that, like, in one of his last acts as president of the United States, Joe Biden is bestowing the Medal of Freedom. It's really one of the top medals that America can give people.

And I'd just like to run down the list of some of this year's recipients, beginning with Bono. Bono Medal of Honor Medal of Freedom recipient. Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton. Naturally. Michael J Fox. A guy named Tim Gill. Don't I get a lick? Doesn't Gill get a lick? And then I just say here it says after founding the tech company Quark which produced the novel layout and design software through the 80s and 90s mr. Gill sold his stake to concentrate on charity work and it LGBTQ rights and advocacy his foundation has invested hundreds of millions of dollars in campaigns to shift policy on issues such as marriage

equality and bullying in schools okay and you know and I've seen like The commentary about this medal of freedom is like this is this is Joe Biden's f you to Donald Trump on the way out the door He's he's bestowing America's highest honor on like what's truly great about this country people like George Soros and Hillary Clinton George Soros also on the list Jane Goodall, the ape, the primate scientist. Well, yeah, that was a good one. Yeah, sure, that's legit. That's legit. Give it to some of the apes, too. I would love it. I would love it if Brandon, it will really piss Trump off if you give

a presidential medal of freedom to the wonderful Gibbon Cassam, the Florida residents. Florida's in play if you give a medal to Cassam. There are a couple posthumous Medal of Freedom recipients such as Fannie Lou Hamer and RFK Senior, Irving Magic Johnson, he gets one, Ralph Lauren, Bill Nye, the science guy, also George Romney, also posthumous, George Soros. He was not aware that was posthumous. He was disappointed he wasn't there. David Rubenstein, the founder of the Carlisle Group.

That one took me out. Like what has David Rubenstein done? Deliver 15% for investors per a dumb? Like what, what the fuck? What, what is he doing? Okay. Okay. Phil, like Sarah, the New York Times says, I think Spirograph, oh, you know,

like arts and leisure or whatever. Also he is donated to fund work on some of the best known spaces around Washington, including the Washington Monument and the National Zoo. Okay, well he also helped damage a significant Washington Monument in the Pentagon. Has everyone forgotten? I think that was part of the community service he had to do after doing 9-11 with everyone. He's done some great work to revitalize lower Manhattan. Yeah he was doing urban renewal to the

Pentagon in Shakespeareville Pennsylvania New York. Also Denzel Washington. I mean I've been like okay whatever. I mean everyone loves Denzel but you know I mean I don't is it like the Kennedy Center honors more for artists I don't know. I mean Denzel got no complaints there In a winter and Lionel Messi. Well, I know Messi's not even American. What the fuck is he a freedom for? He's played for inter Miami for like a year That is that is front-runner bullshit right there. Why you know messy? That is front runner bullshit right there. Lionel Messi?

The Argentinian? He's from Argentina. What the fuck is he done for America? He doesn't even... Okay, if he started playing for the US men's national soccer team, okay, then give him the medal of freedom. If he wins a World Cup for America. Why do you get a medal for playing soccer in Los Angeles? Miami.

Whatever. Who cares? Same city. Same city. But the main medal of freedom recipient that I want to talk about is Jose Andres. When I saw that he was receiving this medal, I was like, Jesus, that's embarrassing. How do you have the audacity to invite him to something like this but then I saw that he was there and and looking like with a dumb grin on

his face as Biden pinned this medal on him but like I know I shouldn't be shocked about this asshole and his behavior but like what a fucking fraud this guy is but like Joe Biden killed his own employees, killed his employees. He like murdered seven of his employees. And he had some line where he posted about it where what is it what he said, when I first arrived in Washington DC in 1993, Senator Moynihan told me, if you love America, America will always love you back. What a thing to say like, isn't this sick? This is sickening. If you're the family members of the people who Israel killed who were put a basketball hoop above their fucking caskets, slammed a ball in their faces at their service. Jesus Christ. Like I saw a lot of people comparing this to when

UPS thanked the police for killing their driver. Yeah. It's certainly worse than that. Yeah, this is worse because it's like the self-congratulatory element of this is just so fucking nauseating. And like honestly- When I read this post, I got on my knees and prayed that Russia would develop a chef-seeking missile by the next time he goes to Ukraine.

I mean, I can't help but view that this honor being bestowed on him is sort of like payment for him keeping quiet about killed his employees. And like also just like being like, Oh, I support humanitarian aid work the world over. It's so important that we have to feed the suffering and dying. But like never to make a political point about Israel or America's funding of it. I think the metal to get this asshole to shut his mouth is if he was ever inclined to say anything in the first place. Because just the fact that he was like so happy to show up and receive this fucking medal, like, oh, god damn it. Yeah, one of the most cynical fucking things I've heard I've seen during a very cynical era. I still think that the the photo of Biden sickened sickeningly,

I still think that the photo of Biden sickeningly getting the medal to a sort of blonde Bono. Bono kind of looks like the woman who talked about holding space with Arya. Bono looks like Glenn Close these days. Yeah. That I think is still the defining image of the Brandon Reich. I hope that they make a documentary, or not a downfall type movie about the last three weeks of Brandon. Oh, that'd be amazing. I've really enjoyed watching it. Another four billion to Israel on the way out the door.

Eight. Eight, I'm sorry. Or maybe Ukraine's getting some too. All right. Well, to wrap things out here, I did want to talk about one of the big year-end pieces that we missed last week. This is from Semaphore, where they collated some of the smartest, best news people in the country and asked them what they got wrong in 2024. And, you know, I feel a little annoyed that we were not consulted on this, but then I remember we're not wrong about anything ever, so we wouldn't really have anything to contribute. That's true. I do want to talk about a few choice examples here from Semaphore. And the first couple ones I want to talk about a few choice examples here from Semaphore.

The first couple of ones I want to talk about are all Joe Brandon related, beginning with Tim Miller, host of the Bulwark podcast. I think I judged President Biden too generously for most of his term and he revealed himself to be less concerned about protecting our democratic institutions than legacy. As a result, both will be badly tarnished. I thought Trump would have the juice to get Matt Gates through and was surprised he pulled out, so to speak. I thought the Nuggets would be able to overcome an offseason that was panned by the basketball

pundits and it seemed like my optimism was misplaced there. I love being like, I got the central question that my job pays me to talk about wrong, but then I'm going to throw in a cutesy little thing about like, all right, that the nuggets would win the go the finals again. Yeah, I'm a stupid fucking hack. And I was so entranced by access to watch Brandon eat applesauce that that I lied in everyone's face for four years. But I guess my no one's paying you to be be a pundit about the NBA Tim. So no one gives a shit that you were wrong about who win the finals this year.

I think we got to put our foot down now. I've seen too many of these types of posts from too many politics guys where they're like well the question is next few years with the GDP consumer price and we'll fucking Giannis blah blah blah. Basketball, basketball sucks. Kill the NBA. If you watch basketball, report to city center 17. We're throwing you in a mass grave.

Basketball is out. All residents will have to watch Dana White's power slap or be killed. Here's another one from Brian Lair, host of the Brian Lair show. Many callers to my show said Joe Biden was in no shape to run for reelection. I mostly dismissed it as ageism. Then I watched the debate. Also, I never thought Juan Soto would sign with the Mets.

Also, kill sports. Sports fucking sucks. Well, a like you should have known Juan Soto was going to sign with the Mets. I did. But but he's like, yeah, many callers to my show said that Joe Biden was too fucking old to run for president. And I dismiss them as being ageist. But but here here's like I never thought the Yankees would lose to the Dodgers. Like, just this glib like, hey, like we all get some things wrong from time to time. But here's the granddaddy of them all. Here's the best one by far. And it's

from our old friend, Matt Iglesias. Now, what I love about Matt Iglesias is that he has removed 1 billion Americans from like all of his, like, official CV that he gives out to when people want to interview him. So it no longer says author of 1 billion Americans. So every time I see anything from Matt Iglesias outside of Twitter, it says, Matt Iglesias, slow boring. I love how perfect that is. Matt Iglesias, fat and boring.

I liked it when they would go, Matt Iglesias, author of One Billion Americans, because it made me think of him as like a Genghis Khan type who has like a million wives. He's just fucking all the time. He's birthed a billion Americans. Women can't resist him. He's like that giant tortoise that's like sired like most of the tortoise population. He's 112 and still going strong. It would be funny if they were like, Matt, what did you get wrong this year? And he was

like, I tried those vibrating panties from Amazon. They don't work. I only created four million new Americans this year. But he says here, I thought Joe Biden was going to prove his doubters wrong at the big debate. I know that ever since that humiliation, the whole media world, the whole world thinks the entire media was in on a massive cover up. But the fact is, many of us and seemingly many members of his team genuinely thought the situation was better than it was.

In a lot of ways, it's more embarrassing to have been gullible and wrong when so many people with no sources and no inside info could see it clearly. But that's what happened. I was just wrong about that and one of the big questions of the year. I mean, credit to Matt Iglesias for not being like, I thought Wicked would bomb at the box office at the end of just admitting like, I am an absolutely dishonest dupe who and by the way for Matt it is funny with like when Matt especially that like he keeps getting the central question of the era that he is paid to prevaricate

on wrong but it's funny because like he gets it wrong in the same way every time and he's just sort of like in my defense I had every incentive to believe that Joe Biden was mentally confident. Yeah, yeah well in my in my defense I'm rewarded for these stupid opinions. And it's like exactly like his mea culpa is with the Iraq war he was just like all of the people who are employing me were saying one thing and apparently people who didn't have access to any information in fact figured it out correctly. Funny how that works out. But to be honest, to be fair, my job is to cater to the prejudices of the wealthy and stupid.

There's another sort of, there are people who said they got the election wrong. I mean, that's kind of boring. But like, more interesting to me are the ones where people were asked what they got wrong and then just like basically used it as an opportunity to people were asked what they got wrong, and then just like basically used it as an opportunity to talk about how right they are about everything. Like for instance, Barry Weiss, who writes, objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear. That's the warning I'm taking into 2025. I underestimated among other things how quickly old media institutions would crumble. For those of us trying to build new ones, the question is, can we go fast enough to meet reader demand?

Use discount code, what I got wrong for 10% off your subscription to the free press. So basically Barry's saying, I was too right about everything. Also object in the mirror may be closer than it appear. That's like, you're wrong, sir. I love this one from Caitlin Collins, who's an anchor at CNN.

2024 served as the ultimate reminder to never assume what the news is going to be. We were surprised at almost every turn it- Who assumes that? That's why it's new. It says, tomorrow something new will happen. What do we call it? I don't know. What?

So fucking stupid. It says here, we were surprised at almost every turn of this election. As a reporter, you should always operate with an open mind. It's easy but risky to think you know where a story is going. This year reminded us that we don't. Like, they shouldn't have published that. You got to say one thing you got wrong. This is just drivel. What the f—? Like, all of the things in here that aren't just like, you know, I thought that Biden could live another 100 years are like fucking pablum.

What did I learn this year? I learned that summer and winter can often be in the same year. And just because it's hot one day, don't throw away your parka. You're going to need it probably this year. And then finally, from this one, the thing I'd like to point out here is like there was a response to this question that is basically like a serial killer taunting the police. And that comes from Jeffrey Goldberg of The Atlantic who writes, one thing I did not see coming the fairly comprehensive dismantling by Israel of Hezbollah, the subsequent collapse of the Assad regime in Syria, and as a a consequence the partial neutralization of Iran. The Netanyahu government's failure to prevent the Hamas invasion in October 2023 had been largely convinced that Israel

wasn't ready for other Iranian related threats. But now Hamas is more or less neutralized as a threat and the Houthis in Yemen are going to come under significant pressure. The thing to watch how much pressure Trump puts on Iran. No one should predict regime collapse but given that Iran has sought to assassinate Trump and Trump knows this, I'm not expecting the exchange of love letters between Trump and the Supreme Leader. Far from it. Thanks for that, Jeffrey. I mean, he was being like, I expected there to be more resistance to the Holocaust I'm supporting, but I've been pleasantly surprised at how it's gone.

Yeah. Presumably he wasn't surprised that he could achieve climax while watching a video of a kid dying. There was I mean, fuck, I can't find it right now. But there's another funny one where it was like a reporter talking about how she was like, she didn't she didn't she thought like, because the economy was doing so good and inflation was down, like people that would be reflected in the election results. And she she talked about how like, I think she's a New York Times reporter, and she

talked about like, one of the big stories she did was about how people were driving an extra two hours to North Dakota to get cheaper gas, which begs the question, like the gas isn't cheaper at that point. It doesn't make sense. You're not saving money. You have to drive two hours to get cheaper Gallon of gas where is this happening in stupid town? It was North Dakota, but in Poland in New Poland America Well, once again, it's good to get to begin a new year knowing that once again we are correct in all things and

We have nothing to apologize for. Yeah. My big message for anyone this year is don't think that events won't happen. They will. Sometimes you think so many events have happened. There aren't going to be any more. Don't assume.

Wise wise advice that we should all take to heart. And Matt Iglesias, slow, boring, slow, boring, slow, so boring, so boring. Author of a billion satisfied women. Did you know that Matt Iglesias' dad was a romance novelist? I did. I always think that's so funny. And that also his grandfather and mine hated each other. So it's good to know that the trauma plays itself out through the generations.

Do you think that Mattaglacius's dad ever like, sort of like, almost the thing from Call Me By Your Name? He like showed him how to like eat pussy using a peach as a learning aid. eat pussy using a peach as a learning aid. This is how Count Handsome does it in my book, forsooth the corduroys quaker. He tried to give him advice on how to eat pussy, but it just Matt only took the eating part of it. So he just eats all meals like he's pleasuring a woman. But I think he made Iglesias had another thing where he was just like, he was like, now that the election is over, like, you know, I won't

be surprised to see Palestine and Gaza completely drop off the map. And it's just like more it's just like, well, you're like, it's dropped off the map for you. And like everyone around you, it was never on the map. So it's a little so it's like predictive power is just being like, now that they've killed every Palestinian left in Gaza, I expect to hear less about it in the new year. That and the Connor Friesdorf thing where it's like, oh yeah? Well, what did you say during the other genocides that I also didn't say anything about? It's all preemptively giving yourself permission to not care about something that you already didn't care about.

Yeah, exactly. And like, you know, you weren't raising the alarm of even like you weren't banging the drum to save people in the Sudan either. But like, it's just the thing now where it's just like, they're like, well, you know, you can't really get mad at one genocide when like several others are going on as well. And like, and hey, let's solve the other genocides before we get to Israel. Okay, let's do it alphabetically. All right. I sort of in the middle. Yeah, yeah, I know. Yeah, Conor Friedersdorf being like, you know, most people never speak out

about genocides, you know, and like, as I said before, like, in, you know, the episodes ago, like, I did see a couple exit interviews with Anthony Blinken, where by the way, not a single person who were trying to drill him on his career as the stage department asked him to account for the Hoochie Coochie Man performance. And I thought that was a journalistic disgrace. But they were like, I think the New York Times actually asked him, how do you feel that most of the world thinks that you've presided over a genocide? And he was like, well, first of all, it's not.

And then after saying that what China's doing to the Uyghurs is a genocide, he was just like, they were like, would you like to explain the difference? And he just goes, no. But the thing is, Anthony Blinken is already behind the curve. Because as we were just talking about, now that the election is over and they've won, there will be no consequences for Israel doing the Holocaust, the Palestinians. Yeah, like it will go away and no one will talk about it, but it also means that no one

will have to stop denying that it's a genocide or that they're doing war crimes. They'll just say, oh, but like many other countries have also done this. So it's really not that big a deal. And we had to do it. So I mean, like he's behind the times on the talking points here because because the current ones is just like, like, how dare you get mad at Israel for doing a genocide when there are many other countries that do the same thing? All right, that does it for our first show of 2025. But Matt, do you have another poem for us this week?

Yes, I assumed to the epic Elon Musk and whatnot uh, bit men or whatever. I post epic memes of, uh, the four Chan, uh, which cool. Uh, so I got to, uh, with out and that's epigram of a sex hammer. The illusions of some of competence of a kind is what is after and irony he invented was easy to understand. He knew conspicuous care like the back of his hand and was greatly interested in crypto and speaking elite. When he laughed delusional transhumanists burst with his laughter and when he cried the Tesla exploded in the streets. I'm sorry we didn't get to the the Adrian Dittman thing in the the Musk crassing out section.

But I mean I've seen some speculation I've seen some news reporting that Adrian Dittman actually is his own person which I think sucks. And I don't know which explanation is stupider but but if indeed Adrian Ditman is his own person, the net effect of that is like, wow, there's two guys that are stupid and annoying in exactly the same way and even have the same stupid voice. But Felix, what do you make of the Adrian Ditman, Elon Musk, sort of doppelgangers? I don't know. Yeah, I kind of feel like... Yeah, I don't really give a shit. I don't see any reason to say to go, well it's not

him. It's this fucking crowd from Fiji. Okay. Who cares? And I guess like, I think people really want to believe it because it's so embarrassing. Like it's it because if it is Elon Musk pretending to be this other guy and only replying things like that about how great Elon Musk is that's pathetic and embarrassing but like the post Elon the behavior that you want exhibits under his own name is Already unbearable and and just beyond the pale it also seems equally impossible to imagine that Elon doesn't have dozens of other accounts that like look look, if I own X, I would have 40 accounts that I was just checking to see how basic functionality were. Even if I was like a sensible person, of course he has other accounts on the site. It would be insane not to.

And like, didn't his daughter say that like, this is him? I don't know. Like, I don't know. I just, whatever people put on their debunking hats, I'm like, are you sure? I just, a part of me just, I don't like the whole ethos of it. You know, everyone is enjoying something and you're like, I backtrace the IP. Okay, well fuck off. Why not do that in a truth tellers group chat? Leave the rest of us to have fun. Alright, well I think that does it for today. By the way, today is January 6th. Happy anniversary guys.

Happy J6 everyone. Happy J6. The greatest family vacation of all time. And by the way, when we lost our mutual girlfriend Ashley. We were all dating on that horrible day. I think it sucks that all the Democrats are trying to use today to being like, yeah, there'll be no problem with the certification as we hand the keys to the American government over to Adolf Hitler 2.0. If you think that we'll be putting up a fight about this, you're dead

wrong. Not in this country. Yeah, because you pussy Biden didn't part an American hero, Ryan Ruth. That's right. He would have done a one man J six. That way he was the only guy real enough to like, you know, stop the steal for Kamala. Unfortunately, the steal will not be stopped. The still not be stopped. We will not have Kamala as president. But onward and upward for 2025, fellas. We'll be back on Thursday with a much more in-depth look at the years of bread. All right. Till next time, fellas.

Bye-bye. Bye. Bye-bye. Roll for me, for gentle hearts and opportunity It's the bigger love of the family