Chapo Trap House - 999 - Nazis, Pedophiles, Drunks, Rapists & Thieves (1/5/26)

Episode Date: January 6, 2026

We return from break to talk about the horrific kidnapping of Nicolás Maduro and the continuing moral depravity of the gangster state called America. We speculate on what this act of imperial aggression means for the rest of the world, the hilarious snubbing of the Venezuelan opposition, the predictably inept response from the Democratic party, and the hope that someone, somewhere, can stop the Fourth Reich’s plans. Finally, we read a recent Wall Street Journal piece on Trump’s aging and addiction to aspirin. Subscribe to patreon.com/chapotraphouse to hear our 1000th episode on Thursday! Just a few more days to buy the 2nd printing of ¡No Pasarán!: Matt Christman's Spanish Civil War over at chapotraphouse.store Year Zero: A Chapo Trap House Comics Anthology is also 15% off at badegg.co. Through end of year purchases of the book also include a free digital version of the comic. The digital version is also available through GlobalComix. Follow the new Chapo Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chapotraphousereal/ And Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/chapotraphousereal.bsky.social

All right. Hello everybody. It's Monday, January 5th, after a brief hiatus. I hope everyone's had a happy new year, but it is back at work in the Slopmines. So it's Felix and I today, and let's get right into it. Just to begin today, I think over the course of doing this show, we've heard a lot about the Brooklyn left, the cool kids scene in New York City. Socialism. in New York City. And to that, I would just like to say, welcome to Brooklyn, Nicholas Maduro. I think you'll fit in great here. He's already got the Carhart jacket.

I've seen him about 15 different fits since he landed here in New York City. But I welcome him to this borough of ours and wish him all the best. One of many people brought into Brooklyn from the outside who had to remain seated the entire time around Real New Yorker so it's not to power over them.

Yes, no, I will ask that he continues to defer to my judgment on how long you have to be here to count as a real New Yorker. But obviously we've got to start here. What a way to kick off the new year. You know, waking up Saturday to find out that Delta Foros had attacked Venezuela, basically blacked out the entire capital city, killed around 40, 80 people. And kidnapped the president, Nicholas Maduro, and his wife, sort of absconded with them to an aircraft carrier. And now Maduro is in Brooklyn where he will stand trial for drug trafficking. And my favorite one of the charges, possession of machine guns.

I mean, is this not like something that like, you know, an alternate timeline where I don't know what would lead to this? But Beto O'Rourke becomes president on like a Reagan-Mondale margin. and he just starts arresting foreign leaders for having guns in their military. Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, who knows what he's doing? Who knows what he's doing with those machine guns? Yeah, I mean, well, he could have gotten those from Sam Crow.

And he probably, you know. I heard it was Sam Crow that stitched him up. I heard it. I heard it was them who timed him out to the CIA. Yeah, Sam Crow for some reason, thought they would profit by the desecration of Ugo Chavez's mausoleum. yeah they did that on the way out by the way like a lot of people don't know this but hugo chavez's mausoleum that was the mayans uh mc headquarters so of course two for one deal i mean if the americ

anglo-american israeli access was not if the parallels to isis were too subtle uh desecrating graves on our way out is just um just for anyone who's missed it i guess yeah i mean look uh i i think like over the last couple months in the lead up to this obviously there was you know I was speculating like what are they going to do about Venice Will is this all just for show

is this just a negotiation tactic are they ever going to jump out and they finally did and you know if you're Donald Trump or his supporters you have to be fairly impressed by this because this is sort of like the implications of it are obviously horrific

and we'll get into those but like it's the perfect Trump to, like, event that has, you know, I don't know, potentially world-altering ramifications, but is also kind of the perfect non-event event, because this was a coup, but it was a coup that, like, replaced Maduro's government with his own government. Right. While also leaving the door open to do it again to achieve what I don't know. And I mean, I also, another perfect marker of our age. I mean, we'll probably know more in coming months, but who knows, right? Like, the fact that they killed 40 people gave me pause on the idea that someone made a deal,

but also isn't that the perfect Trump thing to, like, make some type of deal where it's like, okay, we only want Maduro, and then they just kill 40 guys on their way out on the assumption that everyone is like them and sees all of their countrymen as expendable too. the fact that there was some meeting in Russia and obviously in 2014 Russia wanted to

counteract the historical narrative that they just sell out and leave their proxies and allies to die in the vine that was kind of the deal with going into Syria but it does seem like they're happy to give up anything if it means they can continue

putting up World War I numbers fighting over towns named Aguva Pool so who like who the fuck knows I don't know like okay so the fact that like they said in a Chinook right and no anti-air

defenses were activated and they just snatch this guy it does suggest that there was some type of deal but then there were I mean like 40 to 80 people killed at least one civilian that we know was killed, probably many, many more desecration of a mausoleum. I guess, like, gun to my head, I would say, they made a deal and then the, you know, Trump or

Delta or both were like, oh, let's also kill a bunch of people while we're doing it, because what the fuck are they going to do? Yeah. And, you know, like, I said a speculation about like whether that, whether this was Maduro's own government, essentially coughing him up to avoid a way. worst outcome or to retain their power and, you know, continue to exist as sort of, I don't know, like a nine ideological socialist state that will now make deals with American oil companies to have their oil reserves, you know, taken pillaged by Western oil companies, or that this

is what it appeared and that this was just like, like a classic Delta Force raid on a foreign capital that was successfully evacuated a foreign head of state, and brought him to the United States to be prosecuted in this country. It's like, I don't know. I mean, I guess the way I'm thinking about this is like, I don't know which one of those two scenarios is true. Like, I guess we'll find out more in the coming weeks and months. But like the thing is we hear a lot about America as a fading empire or a dying empire

or that like a government that would do something like this is, you know, evidence of our waning influence elsewhere in the world. so we're just going to try to create this kind of petro-empirro-narko-trafficking empire in, quote, our hemisphere, which it certainly seemed to be a limiting of traditionally the ambitions of the U.S. empire. But the thing is, a fading empire that still has like the largest, most powerful military in the world, and crucially, no other country on the planet is able to resist us or fight back in any way. I mean, like the late stage imperial capitalism, fading empire, it begins to sound like cope

because like, I don't know, like we may be lashing out, but like who's going to stop us? No one. I mean, there's no opposition to this in this country. Well, I mean, I will point out that someone did stop us. Someone did make us turn our tail within the last year. Well, yeah, Yemen. Yeah, yeah. But, no, I generally agree.

And I do think that like, I think people that took the idea of like a. fading empire that is tilting away from its norms and political niceties based soft power and coercion behind the scenes to what this is

just more where the criminality is more blatant not that it was ever exactly hidden I mean I think only people who were completely delusional or just didn't only only the classic Twitter habit of only reading the headlines took that as a

in the immediate future or medium term of good thing because it's like well oh great news this wounded animal is back into a corner it won't attack anyone but no I mean

I do think that just putting a timeline towards the the end of this whatever this is is and every time that we do something fucking horrific going oh that you don't know how bad

this is going to look in X amount of years. That is you know kind of cope absolutely but at the same time this is another way this is the perfect Trump thing is it's a type of thing that for his supporters in the immediate aftermath

and the maybe first one or two months after it's really fucking cool you can post images and videos of it and go America literally went it to another country and took a fucking guy to check please and you know I do think the most

horrifying version of this event is the potential that there was no deal and we could just do this to people. But you do also have to look at the fact that the world doesn't just end at the end of this year. And if in the next like three or four

years there is some sort of like major fucking confrontation with China or Russia, which is incredibly possible, you're suddenly going to go, hey, what the fuck? Why aren't these people taking us at our word? And you're going to go, oh, that's, that's why we, that's why we had these norms and nice it is. I mean, at the risk of this setting like cope, that would have, like that would have to come to pass.

There would have to be an actual concentration. But both Russia and China have shown a willingness to, at least when things are more in their backyard, to actually raise a fucking stink. And we're not, I mean, the most alarming reading of this event is that this is like the Rubio faction, realizing that there's only a few months before Donald Trump is paralyzed by everyone hating him and it's an eternal 2018 and that this was them dipping their toes in and going look how easy it was to jog out. Why don't we try it in Iran? Yeah. And believe me, I mean, they're already saying that right now. I mean, in like the hours since Maduro was captured and brought to the United States. I mean, they've already gone down the list. Trump has said something needs to be done

about Mexico, they're threatening Cuba, Iran, and like, you know, I mean, who's to stop them, right? Because like, if you are the leader of a country, if you live in a country that finds itself at odds with the United States of America, like, what are you going to do? Who are you going to appeal to? I mean, as I said before, there is no faction of our own government that seems to be opposed to this in any way by, you know, I'll credit the Democratic leadership, which just seems to be annoyed that they weren't consulted. about it and have couched every statement in like, now we all know Maduro was an awful

evil oppressive dictator who we all hate and that we should like, or the idea that they should credit that like there should be some international law needs to be respected or that there should be some democratic transition of power like after this. It's like, who are you fucking kidding here? Like, I mean, I would say like the only

the only reasonable response would be a demand of his release from custody and his return as the legitimate head of state of Venezuela. This was not a popular thing, by the way. No. No, no, no. And like, yeah, we can talk, we can talk about the domestic political considerations of this because, like, this is not popular. I don't think it will be, it's, it's unpopular, but like, it's hard for me to imagine, well, because it was so, you know, I guess, like, tactically successful, I think people will just kind of tune it out. I think it will just be, like,

another thing that they're like, oh, what do I have to hear about this? But, like, no, like, I don't think this is any big benefit to Donald Trump politically. But, like, I mean, but, but, But that doesn't matter if there's no opposition party that will capitalize off of it. Right. That will articulate like an anti-war or anti-imperialist view. Because like, let's know this was, this is blatantly an act of war. I mean, and he is, he has bragged about the fact that he did not, let alone seek congressional approval. He didn't even tell them about this.

He told oil companies that he was going to do this before he told Congress, much let alone ask, seek their consent as is demanded by the Constitution. but I mean, whatever, that that's all a bit quaint at this point anyway. And I guess like, you know, once again, like over the course of this of this show, like we have commented, we've commented upon and tried to ring, I guess, entertainment or sort of,

I don't know, a scaperous political commentary out of the fact that the United States is, as long as I've been alive, basically a Nazi empire of evil run by rapists and pedophiles. but like this shit is it just makes it so unambiguous and so naked and so brazen of just like outright gangsterism. I just like like a mafia a mafia comprised exclusively of like sex criminals, drunks and pedophiles who are right you know looting the world for the benefit not certainly not of Americans but from their their donors like Paul Singer who's just been given sit go and that like I know like the comforts of international law, like,

once again, seem quaint to the extent that they were ever real. Because, you know, like, we were the guarantor of international law. But, like, the extent now that, like, the attitude is that, like, oh, international law is gay and we can do what we want. Well, I mean, like, then all law is gay, right? Like, like, then there is no law. There is only, like, the law of the jungle. There's only strength and, like, people who are weak and must submit

and those who can do what they want. And those who can do what they want in this guy, in this case are just outright criminals. And the most alarming thing in light of that, you know, they've definitely realized this. They've absolutely realized that this is what Trump 2 is about. And there isn't the same, there is not the exact same guarantee last time

that being yelled at is a 100% stopgap against the most evil measures. The most evil thing about, or the most terrifying thing about that is that the opposition party, I think they probably know that but their move is more to just pretend they don't see it in hopes that things will roll back because they are not equipped for that world

for the things you need to do as an opposition party in that world which is to put all these fucking people in prison when you have the chance no no that is not what they signed up to do is that what Hakeem Jeffrey signed up to do that is not what Chris Murphy signed up to do Chris Murphy who talks a good game now

last time do you remember when they sent the the B team in the the the the Cito Bay of Picks with the Green Beret yeah that last time and he went on and he said yeah we tried to do a good version of this but they fucked it up

part of it is that they want to leave the door open to do like yeah the the version of this where you aren't you the secretary of defense the only difference is he doesn't go, fuck around and find out after. Oh, Felix. Okay, I'm glad you brought that up because, like, that to me is like the, probably

one of the most humiliating aspects of all this is seeing that fucking drunk in like a quarter zip and he was like, Maduro, he effed around and found out. It's like, first of all, just say fuck. You're an adult. You raped a woman. You can't say fuck. Yeah, exactly. And then like the sort of like Obama situation, Osama bin Laden hit, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the,

the news photos of them like monitoring the situation. They just got fucking Twitter up on the big board and they search the term Venezuela. And they're like, uh, and I mean, another consideration of this is like people have speculated that yeah, like this is the, this is the Marco Rubio. Like this, this is the constituency, a small constituency in Florida of like anti-Castro like and like white like European, European South Americans who are some of the most Hitlerite people on the planet who are all feeling themselves over this and they love it and like any Venezuelan in America or particularly South Florida is dancing in the streets I mean that's not

the case in Venezuela isn't this supposed to be like one of the reasons by an immigration restrictionism if you let all these people in they will hijack your country's politics and litigate their grievances on the world stage using your military and your resources except sometimes that's great I mean that that is the most amazing thing about it is that like there is there's there's this, like, real politic angle to it that all these guys are taking, where it's like, I think it's good when we take other people's resources. It's a zero-sum game, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But also, look how happy these college students are. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Enjoy things. You have to pick one asshole. But, like, it goes back to, like, the sort of major event, non-event, sort of,

I don't know, contradiction that we seem to exist in. Because, like, I know all these, you know, Venezuelan emigres, and people like who, you know, felt like they were kicked out of the country or, you know, who hate Maduro and the Chavez government and most of the people who live in Venezuela, they're thrilled about this. But it's like, why? Like, your guys aren't going to be in charge. The same fucking government is in charge right now. And he's just saying it, he's saying, like, it is literally just about oil. Like, when, and like, this thing is like, we're going to run the country. Like, what does that mean? I think what it means is that, like, the current government is going to remain in place. and that they're going to make a deal in which American oil companies can, like, reinvest hundreds of billions of dollars in Venezuela

to, like, up their oil production over the next decade or something like that. But, like, one of the more humorous aspects of all this was, it's a tale as old as time. That Machado lady and what happened to her?

It was like, within the first hour of this happening, Trump just shit all over her and was like, she doesn't have respect. She doesn't have the respect to run the country. and now like they will ask them like will you allow um political like will you pressure them to

release political prisoners will like will people who have been exiled for venezuela will they be allowed back into the country will they'll be will there be free and fair elections and they're just like no no it's just about the oil i mean lady what did you think was going to happen he was the amid chalaby of venezuela and like look and like the whole nobel peace prize campaign for her was just like absolute propaganda and a prelude to this war But the thing is, by her accepting that Nobel Peace Prize, she doomed her chance to be appointed Vice Roy of the country. Because, like, I mean, this is from the Washington Post. Two people close to the White House said the president's lack of interest in boosting Machado, despite her recent efforts

to flatter Trump, stem from her decision to accept the Nobel Peace Pride, an award the president has openly coveted. Although Machado ultimately said she was dedicating the award to Trump, her acceptance of the prize was an ultimate sin, said one of the people. If she had turned it down and said, I can't accept it because it's Donald Trump's. She'd be president of Venezuela today, this person said. I mean, I am reminded of when Benny Fasio got beaten up by Phil Leotardo and his guys and Tony goes to the hospital to a comatose Benny and it's like, we're going to see about straight to you out, getting you in the books.

I think, Delci Machado, there was a Gambino family soldier named Matthew Madonna who like, he just loved getting caught with Harold. and he spent like probably about 45 of 65 years of his life to that point like in prison he just loved going to prison

for long stretches for heroin and then he gets out in like 2005 and they're like okay we're going to make you as a 70 year old man and that may that may be in Delsey Machado's future that may like you know

a couple decades of going to Mara Lago and being like no take it I should have given it to you. I'm so sorry. You can at least be president and exiled. As part of her campaign, she accredited the idea that the 2020 election was stolen.

Oh yeah. And also she's a huge Israel supporter. So, I mean, you checked all the boxes, but the most important one. Sorry, better luck next time. And like, another thing that's astonishing to me about this is like, like you said, like never has American imperialism and just like naked.

mafia state been more open and like less of a need to be justified. But like the amazing thing is that like the American press is still doing it. Like they're still like going along with efforts to like make this seem like something it's not. Where it's like Trump recently, Trump said today. He said, we kidnapped him. That's fine. You can call it a kidnapping. But like the BBC and the New York Times are assiduous and referring to him being captured like this is like. This is like. as it's being described, a legitimate law enforcement operation and not just an act of war. And like a law enforcement operation for what? Because we talked about possession of machine guns, conspiracy to do like, you know,

narco trafficking. I don't even understand why they're bothering to justify this on this idea that this is about drugs at all. Yeah. It's like, once again, every second time Trump opens his mouth, he'll just say like, it's about the oil. We're there to control the country to take their oil. And Donald Trump's entire part of this guy, I mean, not just, not just, uh, the, you know, the chief fucking drug trafficker of Honduras, like recently, but like American, like American drug traffickers make up like a plurality of his pardons. That and people who ran Ponzi's games. Yeah. But did you see the thing where, uh, he was, he was asked about that about pardoning the, the former Honduran president, like, you know, imported 400 tons of cocaine into America. And they were like, well, why does you do that? Um, like, and then you're going to,

or arrest Maduro for the same reasons because he's like, because drug importation is such a threat to America. Marco Rubio is sitting right behind him. And he sort of points at him and he goes, there's a lot of people around me who said he was very badly mistreated. He said he was very unfairly prosecuted. And then Rubio has to go on like the Sunday

shows and be asked about that. And he's like, look, I'm not involved in the pardon's process. I haven't looked at the case. I don't really have anything to say about that. I do think the Rubio angle is crucial here because you know, flashback to 2016. Do you remember when Rubio, it was clear that his campaign was flaming out? I remember Paul Singer actually being a Rubio donor.

He at least paid to give different last names to some of Rubio's several dozen bastards. It changed their name from Keys, which is the name they give bastards in Florida. But Rubio, when it became clear it was non-viable, he flamed out, couldn't even do it in Florida. They asked him, can you, can you, you know, you, you find Trump so dissafeel. You've said, what a bad guy he is. Can you bring yourself to endorse him if he's the nominee? Can you bring yourself to vote for him?

And he fucking cried. He fucking cried. He could have. Forget that. People forget his public weeping incident. He cried. And journalists were like, this shows what a good guy he is. Why?

Because he's a fucking pussy. and he did it anyway, the thing he felt so bad about? But, you know, ever since then, he has been a loyal soldier. He has eaten shit with a smile because at the end of the day, neo-con Don will show up and you will be able to send lethal aid

to Ukraine, like they did during Trump 1, move the embassy to Jerusalem, do whatever, whenever, for Israel. And now they will actually send the guys who are not actively smoking crack while on the mission to knock over governments in Latin America.

I think this is 10 years of eating shit coming to fruition for Rubio and he I do think among that contingent the AEI heritage foreign policy people which not that different from

Trump's actual foreign policy beliefs but he will actually the only difference is he'll back down when he thinks he'll be yelled at. I think they very, they correctly assessed hey the bottom is falling out on this thing we have like six months max where we can do all the evil shit we want

and Trump won't be paralyzed by for the midterms you mean yeah yeah well midterms but also I think more crucially for Trump just not being able to ignore public dissatisfaction I think with midterms he can rationalize that he can go well they're not me all those guys who lost aren't me

but with, you know, a 2018-type environment, which, you know, by the way, we are in, or worse. It's just, it's not, the culture is not really caught up. Newsrooms are still trying to get a return on their investment for their assumption last year that we were in a Reagan-Mondell type environment after Trump won by 1.5 points in a cost-of-living election against the most unpopular fucking incumbent ever. but um i shuddered to think what else the rubio people have in their wish list after this well cuba i mean i think that i think that's very yeah that's um maybe some sort of like bay of pigs 2.0 like i you know and it's just like it it's depressing because like you know as someone who

you know who uh lives in you know cowardly compliance with the laws of the uh nazi pedophile empire that, you know, still manages to afford me a pretty decent and comfortable quality of life. I just keep waiting to see, like, is there anyone that's going to fucking stand up? Is there any force in the world that can provide, like, I don't know, they can bloody our nose. They can, like, kick us in the fucking balls for, you know, behaving the way we do. And, like, so far, the answer is no. I mean, look, yes, on serve a lot aside. And I think what they've proven, actually, is that if you do put up a good enough of a fight,

they'll just get bored and move on. Because, like, I think, like, Trump is very good at just, like, knocking over, like, of picking tomato can opponents, you know? But, like, I got to say, I'm disappointed because, like, no resistance, like, no American casualties in this fucking operation. It's depressing. It's fucking depressing. Right, right.

Well, I think, the very depressing thing is the means to bloody the American nose very much exist. We've brought it up on the show before, but China may have the best air-to-air missiles in the world. That in a peer conflict, or at least a conflict where someone had access to PL 15s and PL 16s, they could deny Americans guaranteed air superiority, which, you know what, if you want to have a real treat, read any American Medal of Honor citation since after Vietnam. It's all guys who didn't get to have air support for like two minutes. that's the most horrifying thing we can imagine

but China has only sold the PL 15 to Pakistan and you know I if I could if I could do that thing where you're a guarantee on someone's lease

for other countries to buy it I would but the option does not fucking exist I mean I look I don't want to say I I think there are some there are a lot of instances where China could afford to stick their neck out

much more than they have. I wouldn't quite say this is one of them because they're not, I mean, they're not allies with Venezuela, but things closer to their backyard. They have shown more of a willingness to fight,

and I do, in my optimistic view of the world, I do hope that eventually American planes do come into contact with PL 16s and PL 15s, And we do remember that we don't like taking a beating. I mean, I mentioned Cuba. I mentioned Iran.

I saw Lindsey Graham on Air Force One today is now rocking a make Iran great again hat. And he says that's his fondest hope for the new year. Just, I mean, yeah, I guess that is that, I guess that is what the, uh, what Donald Trump's movement, uh, stands for in the, you know, uh, greater Zionist, Fifth Reich. I suppose we're in now. But, uh, also, also on the chopping block is Greenland. is Greenland and Denmark a NATO country and here and here I guess is a silver lining

like if we're going to be you know like I said ruled by the gang of Nazi rapists and pedophile if they could basically just go to war with NATO and just end that that would be that would be you know at least amusing to me and that's presuming that Europe and NATO would put up a fight which they would they would roll

the fuck over like yeah no but it would but it would effectively mean the end of NATO functionally but what I like no But like the absolute supplication of European leaders before this guy is incredible. It's incredible. And look, if you're like, you know, a feral American nationalist, how could you not love this shit to see like the head of the EU, the prime minister of Great Britain? Like every European leader and ally to be like asked by the media, like, can you can you condemn Donald Trump's violation of international law? Like, like, what do you think about this? And the they're like, well, it's not really our, it's not really our responsibility to comment on things like this. But international law must be respected. Aliship is very important. And we are big supporters of international law. That's not what Big Keir did. I laughed how they asked Keir Starboard. He's like, oh yeah, I would 100% approve. And it's like, I'm sure they were fucking holding their

breath waiting on that one. Yeah. They had a suicide pack drafted up if Kear Starver didn't approve. As if anyone, if anyone wondered anything there. Um, no, I, I, I, I, I don't have high hopes for Europe resisting, but I do think that if this does go to Iran, I hope that China and I'm not holding my fucking breath for Russia, I'll tell you that much. But I hope they do realize that it's now or never if it gets that far. It's now or never.

You're either going to do something, you're going to put your neck out, or it's going to be 20 years later and you're going to go, why the fuck didn't I do that? Because I'm sorry, no matter what you how good your manufacturing is no matter what you can do with infrastructure

no matter what you're capable of and you're capable of a whole hell of a lot you built a fucking indigenous fighter jet engine program in like 10 fucking year something that no one has ever done but that doesn't matter if someone else sets the fucking rules which they will

unless if it gets to that point that you do something and it is as as pigish as it is for us to stupidly sit in America and tell other people to do things. I mean, I don't know what other option. Where we're at.

Yeah. Like, I mean, just realistically, like, I mean, like, it, it is cowardly. And like, but, like, the point is, I don't have air-to-air missile. The precedent has been established and, like, look, this has been the, this has been the case since the end of World War II. Like, this is the reality of the American Empire. But now, like I said, like, it's, it's criminality is so brazen and that there are there is like, there are no guardrails anymore.

And, like, we're just going to keep doing it until someone stops us. And, like, you know, I don't have the capacity to do that. I mean, like, like I said, nobody in America wanted this to happen outside of, like, a couple thousand people in Miami. Nobody, they don't think they care about it too much one way or the other, but nobody was asking for this. And, like, uh, nobody really supports it. But like, that doesn't matter.

That doesn't really matter. Um, so like, I, you know, like, like I said, there's no opportunity. party in this country. There is no, there is no political formation to, like, to try to assert control over the foreign policy of this country to bring it back, uh, in line with like, you know, anything other than outright plunder and murder. But, you know, once again, I guess it's kind of always been that way. Like, it, it feels like, you know, pretentious to be like, well, you know, actually, it's always been, America's always been like this, which it has, but like, there's no comfort to me having to live through it and see it.

in such a visceral way, you know? There was like, I mean, there were at least like standards and norms before that, like, you could, there was a limit on what you could do in broad daylight and there was the hope that if things were exposed, that maybe you could at least force them to stop for a little bit. Like, do you even remember what Donald Trump was impeached for last, during his last time? Like, and on the fact that, like, you know, impeachment, like, would seem to be like, that's what the Constitution provides when the executive declares, like, you know, assumes war-making powers exclusively for itself. And this idea that, like, this was a law enforcement action because

it was serving an arrest warrant that his own Justice Department came up with. It's like, well, that just, that just gives the war-making prerogative to the executive branch, like, forever. I did see in Axios, though, I mean, like, once again, like, you can always rely on the Democrats. This is, this is a piece in Axios, basically. on like just anonymous sources. What it says here, some Democrats are grumbling that their party's largely

oppositional stance to President Trump's raid to capture Venezuelan President Nicholas Maduro saying privately that their colleague should be celebrating. These lawmakers argue

it could be a major political miscalculation if the party fails to applaud the downfall of a brutal dictator with sufficient volume, even given the grave concerns about the operation's legality and longer term ramifications.

I'd always say like most of the party is opposed to this. And I guess like, they have been opposed to it but in a way about being like this isn't what the American people voted for like Donald's not making your life more affordable like you know he's trying to make Venezuela great again

but it always has to be couched and like I keep hearing that like Maduro is a brutal dictator and I just think like why I mean like or at least any more or less so than any of our dozen of our allies that we go to bat for and that nobody bats an eye when like

about anything authoritarian or evil that they do I mean, if you, if you say this guy is a horrible, brutal dictator, he, he puts his own people in prison as opposed to people from other countries, which is okay. Oh, right. Or that, Maduro is an authoritarian dictator, but like the process by which he was removed from power. If you say that, if you say that Maduro was an evil dictator who had to go, but I don't like that we actually got him out of there. Because if you're saying international law, blah, blah, blah, you're just basically, you're basically, you just sound like a pussy. I wanted to get this guy out of there, but I don't like that someone actually did it. Yeah, exactly.

You would be better. I mean, honestly, I think a something from a PSL pamphlet would be better fucking received because it would at least be fucking consistent. It might go over the heads of a lot of American voters, but at least it won't go in one ear and they'll get the word pussy flashes. it grows their brain and it goes out the other. Maduro, this is a quote from like these, one swing house Democrat told Axios in a text message on Saturday, nuance is dead in politics. Maduro is bad.

Glad he's gone. You can't have it both ways, as the lawmaker said, venting that everything Trump touches must be bad according to the base. Yeah, yeah, you can't, asshole. You can't. Your personal feelings don't fucking matter. You know, when, like, when the Pentagon spied on Daniel Ellsworth, do you think it was worth

anything if you went? I think he's kind of a dick to his friends. Who fucking cares? Yeah. We're not talking about Andor. I don't care about your personal fucking feelings. Jesus. To me, like, he's a legitimate head of

Venezuela. And we have no reason to go to war. Like, and it's just a standard now that like, oh, I suppose you know, oh, everything Trump does has to be bad. Well, it's like, yes, he is a pedophile. Like, are you happy with the fucking tax cut? Like, I'm glad for you.

He's an unrepentant pedophile, uh, who runs the world like a fucking black hand racket, who runs the country that way. What nuance do you want here? I promise you that if you get back in power, you know, we can, Peter Mendelsohn will be appointed to a special position. You can hang out with him all fucking day. And you know, like as things get worse and worse, you know, like there's always occasion for, uh, to be, I don't know, self-critical or to have, you know, uh, ops and haters of the show, you know, or a critique of any way, of the people of people like us who held out on voting for Kamala Harris because, you know, of the genocide she was supporting.

I'm sorry she lost New York. I didn't know that. Well, you know, even if you want to, you know, like if we could have made a difference to the 200,000 plus swing, voters in swing states that would have made a difference in the election, I think, I think it would be fair to say that Kamala Harris and a Democratic administration would not have done something like this to Venezuela. fair you've got me but now that we're now that we're stuck with an administration like I said of staffed exclusively by Nazis rapist drunks pedophiles and just like just thieves

now that they are doing shit like that okay I agree I think this is evil and wrong but like the necessary response to that would be like once you have power you have got to make sure that these people are put in prison forever and then like and then not only that, but all the billions of dollars in private wealth that support them and, you know, undergrow this whole thing, their wealth and power must be taken away from them, must be, unless you don't want this thing to happen again every fucking four to eight years. Yeah, Nationalist Pallantier, rip it the fuck apart like your private equity group. If you have any, if even you just have a cynical self-interest in maintaining power in a future

for anyone. I mean, this is, I have a great friend of mine who I, known for 12 years. We know each other from MMA Twitter. He used to be on a show I watched and he he's like a regular liberal Democrat. We agree

on a few health care and foreign policy things, but he's very much of the, you know, you should have voted for Kamala camp. We'll argue about it sometimes. And the brick wall that I always come back to with him and the reason we stopped arguing about it is I said, don't you fucking get it?

if you guys win the next one and you don't put any of these people in prison I mean putting all of them in prison is what's required but if you say you know just save just putting one of them in prison if you don't do that it won't fucking matter if you win again and if you won this time and you didn't do it

it wouldn't have fucking mattered in the medium term unless you're ready to deal that to do that we are just jerking off here we're just jerking off here because it's just going to keep happening until there are fucking consequences and until you show me someone who is not afraid of actually putting something on the line here I don't give a fuck I don't give a fuck at all like I said like I've joked about it but like I'll I'm willing to abandon like all of my deeply held political commitments

and, you know, what I regard as moral red lines, if there could just be one Democrat that would just convincingly be like, if I'm elected president, not only will I scrape the name Donald Trump off of every building in the country, but like I will end

him and every one of these fucking crooks in his administration just forever. And then whatever, like, go on to continue to do whatever you're, whatever you were going to do regardless. But like, but once again, it's just like, I have to rely on like the miracle of some larger outside force asserting itself or putting an end to this because like I you know whatever this platform affords me I like anyone listening to this is just

someone watching and commenting on this but like knowing full well they're like I can't not pay taxes what am I going to do like I said like I'm not as long as I'm not willing to risk my like life and freedom then it's pretty much like it's all just it's all just commentary but like once again like it doesn't matter like this is totally unpopular like there's no there's no there's no constituency for this and by the way by the way like the genocide in gaza is not like unrelated to this either because like once that precedent was established it's kind of hard to say like oh you can't just like sneak into caracas at night kill a couple people and like snatch a president i mean that's significantly less evil than what we did in gaza with like the

the full-throverted support of the international community or at least the EU and NATO another thing these people didn't understand that Gaza it should have been a fucking red line for you regardless of future implications seeing that if that does not spark something inside of you I do not know what's left of you but even just for

synony if you're the type of cynic who goes well Biden's bad on this one thing but on other things blah blah blah our line always was this is a test of what you will accept and it turns out you'll accept a fucking lot and this is one of the things that it turns out you will accept what we just did

because you accepted a lot fucking worse in Gaza but I mean like the truth is like any one person's acceptance or non-acceptance of any of this is just it's all you know like it's as free as the birds are you know like the birds are free to sing and fly around wherever they want because it doesn't matter

it doesn't affect anything we're as free as sparrows are in this country like whatever we chirp about it doesn't really matter because and once again like the media the supposedly the opposition party that you're supposed to vote for if you're against things like this it just doesn't matter your consent is already baked in because it doesn't matter it operates with or without your consent well i'll ask you this i'll ask you this and this is i've had versions of this conversation with people over the last 10 years and in

2016 through 20 you know whatever it was one thing where someone in 2017 was like we should move to Europe and I would go I don't think I can come to Germany at least I think I'm prohibited yeah I've said too many things but like okay if this is

this is what it's going to be that we are going to do like vulgar McKinleyism from here until either we get our shit pushed in in the South China Sea and do something unthinkable because we can't take a beating or something unexpectedly good happens, late breaking in our lifetimes, whatever. What country would you live in for the rest of your life that, A, you think there's a possibility of them accepting you, and B, let's be honest about ourselves. We could still live our stupid

pussy lifestyles. Probably Canada or Ireland. I thought. Problem, though, is like Canada is, I mean, maybe it's different now, but I do get the feeling that it's like, that's kind of a lateral move for any horrible thing we do, you know? Well, the point is, I'm not leaving. You know, all my stuff is here. What the fuck am I going to do? I don't know. Have you ever moved apartments and been like, I hate this desk. Fuck this desk. Go to Greenpoint. I mean, you know, my country would be is Norway because of, I think there's sovereign. wealth fund is cool and I think I I mean I'm a little too fun loving for them

but I am I'm also a we talked about it during the Q&A episode I also have a very rotten malcontent personality in addition to being fun loving I think I would also fit in yeah I think Ireland would be good for you though yeah and we could still hang out

for obvious reasons but no like once again I'm just you know a willing participant present and citizen of this empire of murder and evil. And really, like, this is, this is, this is, this is, and look, it's easy to blame, uh, the government of this country, but like, and I don't really, like, only want to blame our culture, which is this like vaporous thing that's kind of hard to define or like the people writ large, given how little power really do have, but it does seem to me that like,

there does seem to be a, a larger and growing or more, or more vigorously articulated, uh, American as a people that we would simply rather kill than live in peace with the rest of the world and like while being one of the richest and most powerful country on the planet that like has like we

that the imperialism of the 18th and 19th century has already happened and we've been the beneficiaries of all of it but like that's not good enough we want to do it again and have our way of life be like not affected one iota but no like i think it's because i don't know like whether it's Trump's base or just like

like people who look the other way, I think it makes us feel good. And you can look at this as like, you know, an obvious distraction from the Epstein files and like how deeply indicted the president his entire, you know,

but like they would be doing it anyway. They would be doing it anyway because like that's what this country does if given an opportunity. And they do it, look, and like they'll do it in ways that are like more openly criminal

and murderous, but like, I don't know. It's just like the violence is just baked in. And it's just a question of like, how hard they want to work to justify it. And, like, that's the thing is, like, neocondon.

I think, like, he is just, he has figured out the cheat code to neoconservatism, which is, like, you just assert American power, but it doesn't have to be on behalf of democracy or anything like that. And guess what? It looks like it's being a lot more successful than George W. Bush, who, like,

you know, if those guys were in charge, they would have had to, like, I don't know, like, actually occupy Venezuela and, I don't know, oversee some transition to a quote unquote democratic government. Yeah. To your point about how we could live off all the spoils forever, but it's not good enough for us.

I always, the most instructive thing for this for me is going to Spain. And it's like Spain is, it is a, they used to call it the breakwater of Europe, but I have a different name for it. It's the Philadelphia of Europe. Because it's like a, it's like a big house. where 10 people live, only one of them has a job, but it all works out. Move to Philly.

I'd love. Start a noise band. Get six or seven roommates. Eat hummus with them. If you did some really bad shit, I mean, for them a long time ago. For us, not that long ago. If you did some bad shit within recent generations,

you can have trains, you can have high-speed internet. The water's good. Everyone looks pretty good. Everyone's walking everywhere. You could get those Argentinian hot dogs that have like aiole on them. And only one out of ten people has to have a job. That's how great it is to be an imperialist country. But yeah, again, not fucking good enough for us.

But like, every other than America, not only has to have a job, but like work. They have to have three. Harder and harder for like less and less money. Everyone looks like shit. Everyone feels like shit. And I think like, honestly, the photos of Maduro being like, escorted either at the tarmac or like in and out of various processing facilities

first of all he can hoop he's like six four he's like oh yeah he's like a foot taller than all the guys all the like the uh dea agents around him he's like he's like when branson takes a picture yeah yeah he's like when branson takes a photo with me what's up chicken legs but like all of the DE agents look like shit

you're all fat as fuck dude that is that is the thing I've been noticing from all the DEA rates all the ice rates it is it really welcome to the sedentary empire I mean there is a type of body you get from sitting for 99% of your week and that is it

I know you've described ice as like a crusade of jobless people against the employed I was paraphrasing Adam Johnson but like yes I think that is like the easiest like elevator pitch way to describe what ICE is and who they represent and who staffs them It is also a crusade against people with active metabolisms by those who do not. But going back a little further, though, to the point about, like, you know, what can we do?

Is it worth anything that we feel bad just sitting in fear and powerlessness? One of the things I think about a lot with this, with this current, like the Palantir form of the regional bully empire. that we're doing now. Yeah, I think that's a really good way to describe it. Because, like, we used to be the global hedgment. But, like, for whatever reason, the rate of return on that isn't so good. Or, like, certainly our ability to, like I said, our two primary adversaries, Russia and China. Well, like, we certainly haven't had our way to Ukraine.

I mean, like, that's not going well. And then, like, by all indications, China's economy and quality of life continues to grow, as does, like, less and less of a need for what we provide them. so we are transitioning into this regional bully empire of more of an 18th century variety and they probably fucking leap frog dust an entire generation

in chats which just has not happened to us before but so one of the most paralyzing things about it if you're someone who's against it which is a lot of fucking people is that it's not like you can't exactly

you go into a bomb factory and like fuck it up and jam up the works and you're in prison for life, but at least you, like, you saved lives. This whole thing, it's so multifaceted. There are so many angles of sabotage and criminal exploits and ways that they can fuck up countries in this hemisphere that it's like, okay, if you have one shot, right, you have one free shot at someone, who do you take? What do you do?

How do you know that it will have any impact? That, to me, is the most horrifying thing about it. Yeah. Like, you know, you see, like, I, not only are like, I would even hazard to guess that most people are probably against this. Like, I think most Americans, like, when they, like, try to conceive of what America is or why America is a good country or why, like, they, or what they hold out in their mind that tells them that, like, oh, like, our authority is justified in something because we're good or we stand for justice or democracy or anything like that. I don't think most people like the idea of America being a country that's just like, oh, we're the strongest country, which means that means we can steal and kill and kill. kill anyone. We can steal anything from or kill anyone in any country that's weaker than us for no reason other than that we can and they have what we want. I mean, functionally, that is

what we do. But, like, I don't think people like to think of America that way. And increasingly it's impossible not to. Because our own president is telling you that's exactly what we're doing and who we are. But there is a contingent of people in America sizable enough. You can call it MAGA. You can call it, I don't know, the neoliberalism, hawks of any kind. The the people undergird the foreign policy consensus of this country is that they don't need their own life to be good or like their life is good already, but like they like serving power.

But like for people who have no power and are about to see their fucking health insurance premiums skyrocket by thousands of fucking dollars, as like every, as their blood itself is drained out of them by like insurance companies, landlords, pharmaceutical companies,

Silicon Valley. And as everything gets shidding and shittier in this country, I think that they can genuinely take comfort and they generally do take comfort in a demonstration of this kind of bullying, of this kind of violence that's not even like, no one's even pretending that it's being done on their behalf or that they're going to benefit from it in any way. What, you think gas prices are going to come down in this country because of this shit? No. This is just going to, this is going to benefit like the same handful of criminals that are doing it for their benefit, not yours. But I really think

there's something in the American psychology and a certain critical mass of people that likes that. Yeah. And feels comforted by it. I was thinking about the conversation we had last night when we were at dinner about how we were talking about that Grubhub, the Grubhub premium thing and how it isn't actually faster that they just, when they introduced

it, they made it so that regular Grubhub is shittier. And so you have to, you pay in monthly fee to get like regular Grubhub. And that's how everything is now. I would I would hazard that like that like any any action we do that people like this in their public persona they'll go yeah oh I'll kill anyone for cheaper gas for me and my stupid family do you think we're getting that now do you think it's 1957 no the only thing you're going to get is you'll be able to you'll be able to subscribe to Exxon Plus

yeah exactly I'm like I like another thing I've seen is like you know like in of fully embracing this fascist kind of might makes right empire of just you know of just violence and intimidation and like mob boss style rule is just like you know the crowing about like who can stop us like everyone is America's slave get used to it this is the way the world is now and it's like done in conjunction with this kind of like oh like you know we we turned against the great glories of like you know white western imperialism and colonialism because like the world is ours to make in our own image as white. men. Well, it's like, if you're a white man in America now, who's thrilled at the prospect

of, you know, Europe being a compliant vassal state and all of Central and South America being our slaves, I got news for you that you're a slave too. Like, like, do you think, do you think that people doing this view you any differently or that like, it's going to redown to your better, it's going to increase your freedom? Like, no, like, you were just as much a slave as anyone else is. Because you don't have any power. Guess what? Like, you don't have any power. Like, where's your might to resist or whatever? You're in the same boat as everyone else's, which is to say, you know, like, but you like it.

Like, that's the only difference. And like, that's the consolation that you're going to give yourself is that it makes people you hate, upset, or just like, you know, the thrill of doing cruelty to other people. But like, that cruelty is being done to you every day. And to a certain degree, that's why you enjoy it when it's done to other people so much. In fact, to like the overwhelming. I mean, that is the reason why.

The thing that baffles me, right, is and you know people have people have like an endless capacity to believe like contradictory things that flatter themselves but this idea that like um this was sort of a factor more in the campaign this time and the trump 2016 campaign but that that the middle American was exploited uh as as um their bodies their lives their willness their deaths sometimes they were they were taken for adventurism abroad

when they got home them and their friends and their families were they were the first participants in the subscription model brought to us by the Sacklers and that the entire Trump project is like

it's revenge for that how do you how do you look at this stuff now how do you look at like a Paul Singer author of foreign policy any of this shit that we're doing all of these things that like are if not run directly

by Iran contra co-conspirators might as well be how do you not go oh it's serving the same fucking people like how is it how is this part of like middle America's revenge again you know people have this endless capacity to put something into a mental

narrative that makes sense to them and avoids their own humiliation but it just so it just so fucking versical on the face of it. You know, one last thing, another thing is interesting to me about going back to Maduro and about his current incarceration, like I said,

Mr. Maduro, welcome to Brooklyn. You know, I think you should check out the nightclub basement. It's very, it's very popular, and I hope to see you there. Don't go to Moodyring. The Carhart workwear, you know, like, I think he'd be loving it. But here's the thing, like, there's a chance he could just be acquitted,

right? Well, the judge in his case is 92. Yeah. And, you know, like, I mean, obviously, I mean, that's what I'm rooting for. But, like, I turn to our current mayor. And I wonder, like, look, I mean, he is, he has come out, you know, he apparently called Donald Trump to voice his opposition to this, which, you know, whatever, he's a mayor of New York doesn't really mean anything. I said half jokingly that I would like to see him help Maduro escape custody of the New York Southern District, which I understand is obviously a lot to ask, would almost certainly lead to his incarceration.

for the rest of his life. But I'm just wondering, and I'm just like sort of thinking out loud here, like, aren't there ways in which he can, like, confound this process? And what I'm thinking of specifically is that, like,

the Southern District courthouse is in lower Manhattan, but Maduro is being held in Brooklyn, in the Brooklyn lockup. So that means that every day for his trial, he has to be transferred across, like, one of two bridges. And I remember when El Chapo was being held

in, like, under the, under a similar arrangement, each one of those transfers requires like a huge expenditure of city resources in terms of the NYPD the FDNY, paramedic services, SWAT teams, things like that and I'm just wondering like, and I know people are going to say like there's probably some reason he can't do this

but why can't Mom Dani just say like the FBI has to take care of that shit now? Like I'm washing my, I don't like I don't recognize the legitimacy of this arrest or his incarceration. I know I can't do much to stop it. But like if you want to move him around from Brooklyn to Manhattan, you got to do it on your own dime. That's one thing I was imagining. And then the other thing that would be, I think, probably easier to do is hold a press conference and give a sort of citywide lecture on the concept of jury nullification.

Just sort of plant that seed there because, like, I know it's a federal trial, but like wouldn't, I mean, someone can correct me on this. Like, isn't the jury pool still drawn from New York City? You know what we have to do, right? The show's going on break for a little while, fellas. Is there a 12 angry, 12 angry men? 10 angry men Two cool customers That's what our movie's called

Yeah You know the law and order move Would be to get Barba to charge him With like something stupid Like jaywalking And be like Oh we have to take him into like municipal jurisdiction Right right

And then be like Oh he has to live in a halfway house now Give him the Epstein deal Where he can just hang out And hang out in New York Can't leave New York City But he can just hang out as all he shows up for his trial.

I think Maduro would be like an amazing present in a New York halfway house. I think he would motive. Like he's, again, a fun-loving guy. Well, they say that for Trump was, by the way, did you see the thing where like, basically the last straw for Trump was all those videos of him. Yeah, I was just about to say that.

The videos of him dancing. Yeah. Of him doing the shmoney dance. Well, the thing is, in all those videos of him dancing, he's kind of joccing Trump style. He's doing the Trump jacking off guys dance, kind of. He's doing the two-fist, the sort of, I think Trump was just, I think he was more angry than anything that he was a swagger jacking him and doing his moves and his dances, but making it look cooler.

This is like, bring it on. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. This really is a cheer tatership. We've been stealing from the Toros for years now. I was part of cheer January 6th. We cheer.

Before we leave today, I did just like, you know, obviously it's been, it's been Venezuela heavy. but I've said this before in reference to the Leonard Cohen song but this idea that like we're all just sort of stuck in like powerless and waiting for a miracle just hoping that like some force will intervene to like stop this

or to change the wretched reality that we all live in you know obviously voiding us of our own responsibility to do anything about it or allowing us to not face up or to our inability or that impossibility or whatever

but one possible I don't know DSX Machina that I think is I don't know certainly not without the realm of possibility comes courtesy of the Wall Street Journal who reports on the Donald Trump's

aging. It's good he's doing well that's why this report he's the oldest guy who's ever been president at this point and I'm just going to read here this is from the Wall Street Journal President Trump is taking more aspirin than his doctors recommend.

He briefly tried to wearing compression socks for his swelling ankles, but stopped because he didn't like them. And he regrets undergoing advanced imaging because it generated scrutiny of his health. In retrospect, it's too bad I took it because it gave them a little ammunition, Trump said in an interview with the Wall Street Journal on his decision to get a cardiovascular and abdominal scan in October. I would have been a lot better off if they didn't because the fact that I took it and I said, Oh, gee, something is wrong. Well, nothing's wrong. Trump 79. The oldest man to assume the presidency

is showing signs of aging in public and private, according to people close to him. Yet he has at times eschewed the advice of his doctors and scoffed at the medical community's widely accepted health recommendations, relying instead on what he calls good genetics. Trump and his doctors say that he is in excellent health and aides say that he maintains a vigorous schedule. Trump gets little sleep and has recently struggled to keep his eyes open during several televised events in the West Wing. Aides, donors, and friends say they often have to speak loudly

in meetings of the president because he strains to hear. Aside from golf, Trump doesn't get regular exercise and he is known to consume a diet heavy on salty and fatty foods such as hamburgers and French fries. He really, he reminds me of your,

your most recent character in our SVU he's like Dutch Copenhagen. He's always nodding off on smack. Listen, you fucking skill I like this though The large dose of aspirin He chooses to take daily Dude, if you're taking aspirin daily

What the fuck It's I just By the way Little story from my childhood When I was like 10 I went to Like this older kid that we do

His bar mitzvah And I I like drank a ton of that shitty Bar Mitzvah one the Manashevets. Manishavits. Yeah. And I, like, I got drunk because it was like a 10 year old. I, you know, I drank like four or five of them. And like I wasn't like a huge amount of trouble. But I was to like try to get myself off the hook. I told my parents, well, I took an aspirin before and they say you're not supposed to mix like pain killers and alcohol. And it's so cute that Donald Trump, he's like the same thing. He's like, I'm addicted to painkillers. Aspirin. He's just like me. The large dose of aspirin he chooses to take daily has caused him to bruise easily, he said, and he has been encouraged by doctors, his doctors, to take a lower dose.

But Trump, like, I don't even get, like, because usually, like, you take aspirin when you have a headache. But, like, does he just, is it because he has a headache every day all the time? Or does he think that, like, aspirin is just medicine you take to feel good and he takes it every day? Well, you are supposed to, like, it is helpful for people who have heart conditions, but they aren't like, hey, the more the better. Well, like, yeah. It's not like, you know, vitamin A where you can get like 500% of your daily value.

And it's like, ah, it's probably fine. But Trump has declined to switch because he has been taking it for 25 years. I'm a little superstitious, he said in the interview. They say aspirin is good for thinning out the blood. And I don't want thick blood pouring through my heart, Trump said. I want nice, thin blood pouring through my heart. Does that make sense?

Yes, Mr. President, of course. I just think about all the people, like all the amazing people who like, you know, they died at 60, 50, 35 from like, like they seemed like they were great health. They, um, they just, they didn't have any vices that were any crazier than what anyone else had, but it was just like it was some random things, some random terrible thing. Like, you know, a friend of ours, Mike F, who a lot of people might have, uh, known on Twitter, uh, and then there's just this guy, this guy never exercises. never does anything. And he's, for 20 years, he's been taking like half a bottle of fucking aspirin a day. He's like, yeah, they're telling me to stop,

but it just tastes so good. It says, in an impromptu phone interview that came after the journal shared details about its reporting with the White House, the president expressed irritation about the public debate over his health. He has grown upset with his own White House staff for not promoting him as more vigorous.

Let's talk about health again for the 25th time, he said at the start of the interview, My health is perfect, he added. Trump said he often begins his day early at an office in the White House residence before coming downstairs around 10 a.m. And working in the Oval Office until 7 p.m. or 8 p.m. The White House provided a private calendar for the first 19 days in December, which included hundreds of meetings and phone calls with staffs, CEOs, lawmakers,

and cabinet secretaries. I love when people talk about how hard he works and how long he works. It reminds me of an American psycho, like when you see Patrick Baitman's at the office all the time, but, like, he doesn't do any. He's just sitting at his desk. He's just, he's just writing murder, bone, blood, in the New York Times crossword puzzle. Yeah.

Trump has always gone to this thing about how early he gets up for how healthy he is. And it's so, like, it's such a good insight to him because it's like, yeah, I'm, I'm actually really healthy. I don't, I get up at like 5 a.m. because I'm already up because I have to wake up to piss 20 times a night. I'm so healthy. that my prostate is being squeezed like a fucking lemon.

It's like, yeah, getting up at 5 a.m. is no problem for me because I didn't sleep the night before regardless. I didn't sleep at all the night before. Between the uppers and my pissing problem. I also love how he's mad at the White House for not promoting him as healthy. It's like if John Federman,

he pulled Adam Juddelson aside and he's like, why don't you advertise me as like a sex symbol? Like you got your work cut out for you It's pretty easy By the way Fetterman on TV today Said he was glad for the people of Venezuelians or something He better

And also while also touting our Like our greatest and most lethal military of all time Which is like that's the common line Which once again So sorry I didn't vote for her And it's just like I mean like She was touting like

Oh what's the difference in me and Trump I want America's military to be the most lethal fighting force in the world. And here's Liz Cheney to back it up where it's just like I know people are frustrated and I like and people keep pointing out to like the utter phoniness of

the like populist right or the idea that anyone credited the idea that Donald Trump or the Republican Party would be like doves on foreign policy or that they they don't want to fight stupid wars or like if Kamala becomes president we're going to go to war with Russia or something like that. You think Colsey will just sign off on something like that?

Yeah, but it's like, once again, that, that, that really only takes you, that really only takes you so far. But the point is, the point is, like, you can laugh at people who were like, would be like, wait a second, I didn't vote for this. I didn't think we were going to be the global policeman or like, I thought, I don't, like, I don't think. Goofy would be a Tulsi voter. Well, you look, who, I like the alohar way of life. But, like, when the person who's supposed to fucking be representing that, when they're like, when the Democrats are like whoever is running against him, just like provide no opportunity whatsoever to like articulate an anti-war point of view, then like, of course a fucking con artist like him

can just skate in there by like just by virtue of the contrast with the person who's running against who's not only not making any effort to like stand up for the values of a peace and I don't know, diplomacy or just like not being an, you know, like our most lethal and wonderful military is like, yeah, because like guess what? like, that's a popular point of view. And it's like, if you're fucking incompetence in absolute malpractice allows Donald Trump to, like, claim that lane for himself

and the fucking Republican Party, well, then you deserve it. Right, right. I'm reminded of a, um, uh, a Kamala clip I saw where they ask her like, uh, you know, if you could change anything from your, uh, from the election, what would you do? And she, her, her only insight,

her big line, her big laugh line is, I would give myself more than three months. And it's like, well, guess what? You fucking didn't. And you knew that going in. So why are you still fucking, like, I, that just does not inspire confidence in either a candidate or a president, someone who's like, oh, if the conditions of my defeat were completely different, I might have won. Right. No shit.

Well, you had the one you had and it wasn't a surprise. For Federman, by the way, um, do you think that? he felt a loop when he found uh when he someone told him oh yeah they dragged maduro out of bed you think he got a little nervous i think he's like oh no that's illegal now i'm that would be so funny that would be awesome if uh fenderman's wife and kids were able to deploy delta for us but like to like to kick in the door of his bedroom put a butterfly out of his head and drag him to fucking therapy or drag him to the fucking funny farm to face trial for being the worst dad in human history.

Oh, if they did that, I would be Mr. Delta. Dude, I would be like Catherine Bigelow. I would become Catherine Bigelow if they did that. I would be like, guys, Steph Hart lives here. Make me later. Well, I mean, like, back to this. All we're left to do is just the hope that Donald Trump dies sooner rather than later. And it just says here, in the statement to the journal,

Barbara Barbara Bella By the way The fact that this is the guy This is the physician Who is giving comment to the Wall Street Journal But the President Donald Trump cells His name is Barbabella Come on, buddy

Said that the president's condition Is superficial chronic Vienous insufficiency Which involves the smaller veins in the body And doctors say it is treatable To help treat it, The President wore briefly wore compression socks but the socks didn't stay on for long.

I didn't like them, Trump said during the interview. Trump and his aide said the swelling around his legs has improved. The president says he is getting up from his desk and walking around a bit more. Another common way to improve lower leg swelling. But he isn't interested in an exercise routine other than golf. I just don't like it. It's boring, Trump said. To walk on a treadmill or run on a treadmill for hours and hours like some people do,

that's not for me. I mean, shit, relatable. Trump takes, Rosa Vastin and Ezzitembi to control his cholesterol and uses Momatason cream to treat his skin condition his doctor reported in April.

By the way, what is that skin condition? Cipolis? I would have... Barba Bella, Trump's physician, said the president uses aspirin for cardiac prevention. He said Trump takes 325 milligrams of aspirin a day.

A low dose of aspirin most commonly 81 milligrams according to the Mayo Clinic. So he's just free basing Acet amino acid. He's a big guy. He's a salicylic acid. He's doing it for 20 years.

Well, also, probably our most high profile pseudofed addict, right? Yep. Yep. Oh, man. It's so funny to be like, yeah, I had a problem with pills and it's like pseudofed and aspirin.

The president has difficulty sleeping well at night, and by his own account is often texting and calling AIDS at 2 a.m. or later. See, he's scrolling Instagram, man. He's watching those reels. That's bad sleep hygiene. You'll never get to bed like that.

I wonder if he's into like this. He's watching the same like seal videos that I am. I've never been a big sleeper, Trump said. Sleeping is a particular, you know, it's like, you know. So some people, some people like sleeping, other people, they could do without it, you know. What have you been doing lately? I'm actually really big of the sleep lately. I used to like it.

No, I really do. It says sleeping is a particular issue aboard Air Force One, where Trump keeps his advisors awake, according to AIDS. Top staff takes turns sitting with him on long trips, rotating so that others can sleep

while one person remains by his side, according to White House officials. The president is known to poke-funded his AIDS for falling asleep. I mean, that's another element about what makes it so funny to charge Maduro with cocaine trafficking. I mean, they should be fucking giving him an award or something.

They should be giving him a medal at the Kennedy senator for helping their administration continue to function or helping one of the president's sons for all of his media appearances. Think about it just, it really is like the worst of all worlds with him all the time because it's like, think about how like depressing and sad it is to hang out with like a guy who's two years away from death. But at least when you hang out with them, it's like, okay,

it's not like hanging out with a cocaine guy where you just have to stay up and talk with them like like until like 7 a.m. Like every fucking day. Well the thing is like I'm like I like I like I don't think like I I don't think like I don't think Trump does drugs drugs as we're saying like he's But everyone around him does but he's functionally like a Coke at Yes. I mean yeah yeah I mean you know the term is dry drunk for someone who doesn't

drink but they just they have all the personnel someone who's like not in any type of recovery but they have all the person. and other defects of an active alcoholic. What would the cocaine one do? A powderless skier? That's what he is. A cross-country skier. Not a downhill.

Yeah, yeah. Not a downhill. It's not alpine. Just to finish out the Wall Street Journal article, though, it says, Barbara Bella described the president's hearing as normal and said in a statement to the journal that Trump doesn't require a hearing aid. Trump said he hasn't made changes to his diet. In a podcast interview in October, Republican National. committee chairman Joe Gruders described being shocked by Trump's eating habits when they've

traveled together during the campaign. While flying to a campaign event, according to Gruders, Trump consumed French fries, a McDonald's quarter pounder hamburger, a Big Mac, and a filet of fish. Trump said he had plenty of energy, which he credited to his parents who he said were energetic until their old age. Genetics are very important, he said, and I have very good genetics. Agreed. Yeah. Very much agreed. Well, so, I mean, like, that's what we're left with. I just, you know, like, the heroes of anti-imperialism in the 21st century will be like basically McDonald's employees or like his dealer, essentially. His dealer and his dealer is the fillet of fish. And he's like, I got the plug for Big Macs is hopefully we're putting our faith in you now to liberate us from this nightmare.

But I think it all like I would, this is again, wishful thinking and cope on my part because I'm convinced he is going to live to be 120 years old. If Dave Thomas was alive, he would be like, even, uh, Nicola and Bart from the Joan Baez song. Here's to you, Wendell's Hamburgers. Well, I think we should, uh, wrap it up there for today. Our first episode of 2026. And then coming up on Thursday is our thousandth, thousandth episode. Is that correct, Chris?

Yep. Thursday is a thousand. A numbered episodes. Yes. 1,000 episodes and I know technically we've probably already done more than that

but this is officially our 1,000th episode and we've got a little a scripted pre-recorded episode for you on that but like all this is to say 2026,

keep it in mind, mark your calendars is the 10 year anniversary of drop up and like who can say that our presence in American political

and intellectual life hasn't improved this country it's only I think we've had an effect, and it's been all for the good. But no, coming up in April is the Chapo 10-year anniversary, and we will be having a very special 10-year anniversary live show. Details about that will be forthcoming,

but you will not want to miss that. But 10 years of doing chopo, can you believe that? Time flies when you're all sharing the same bed. Ten years and still no headboard. I actually do. I have a velvet headboard now. Time gets away from us all. all right

happy 2026 everyone hell of a way to start the year sure more good things to come in this year or maybe some surprising things who knows but 10 years of chalk though shit we'll still be there

be there be square where your natural hair like Rachel Dolazol in her 35th year famous picture I'll just say at the end of the episode that we are keeping

our book and merch sales on for another a week or so just into the new year pick up the second printing of No Pasa Rahn over at

Chapo Traphouse. Store and final days of the Chapo Year Zero Comic Volume 1 on sale over at bad egg dot CO

those links will be in the description and of course follow us over on Instagram now definitely definitely do that I'm loving our reels and you know

it's good it's good to see you on another social media platform that isn't being used exclusively for the production of child sex abuse material. Yes, seriously. We didn't even get to that story. We want to talk about the people in charge of this country and this administration.

I said, not an exaggeration, not an exaggeration. And as Will says, our big 1,000th episode, I'm going to start doing basic housekeeping that any other normal podcast would do. You can find that over on our Patreon. Patreon.com slash Chapo Trap House. That will be for episode 1,000 this Thursday. All right. Until next time, everybody. Bye bye-bye.

Bye-bye.