Chapo Trap House - Bonus: This is Sus 10 – Billions, ep. 1: “Piss Dads”

Episode Date: June 27, 2020

Felix and Amber review the first episode of Showtime’s 2016 financial crime drama series “Billions”.

Hello everybody, welcome to, I don't know what week this is, probably like week nine or 10, this is us, but we've been on a little bit of a, I don't know if it feels right to call it premium cable, I mean technically these last two shows we're doing, including this one are on premium cable, specifically the Showtime Network, but I think the shows on Showtime Network,

they need to be described a different way than premium cable. I mean, this is, so we watched Billions this week, I have Amber here to talk about Billions. Yeah, thank you for having me by the way. My pleasure, I like, I don't know what I would describe these shows to, they're like USA Network shows kind of, kind of better. Like Felix and I are obsessed with USA Network shows too, because they're so like their own genre,

and they're so like ridiculous in a very unique way. And this felt, it wasn't as like, as ridiculous as a USA Network show, but it was closer to USA than HBO. Absolutely, like I always, so Meghan Markle always fascinated me, because I thought like, is there a better symbol of this era than a USA Network star marrying into a royal family? That's like perfect, that's perfect. The evil Anglo Empire and the USA Network to get like finally merged.

Yeah, the USA Network Empire and the English Empire, sure. Yeah, but like, yeah, no, USA Network shows are hilarious to us, and I always thought about like a type of person that watches them. I was thinking about like an old friend I had, like 12 years ago, like when I was a freshly met an adult, I had a friend who, he wasn't sheltered, like he had a girlfriend and shit, but he was like, dude, do you watch covert affairs?

I was like, no. No one does, literally no one does. And he was like, the girl on it's really hot. It's like, pornography is like easy to find. Yeah, that's such a like, it's like a weird excuse. It's like, that's not why you watch it, you like this show. Like, my thing is that I had a, my ex-brother-in-law loved bird notice.

Oh my, that's the funniest one to me. The notice is the funniest one. He loved bird notice, and I think he felt a little bit better about it because there was kind of a tongue-in-cheek thing to it. Like it is, it was like a little bit self-aware, but that doesn't mean, being self-aware and ridiculous doesn't mean you're not ridiculous, but it was like, I think it's like the presence of Bruce Campbell gave him permission

to be like, well, you know, I have some ironic distance from this show. No, you don't dude, you love bird notice. You're a guy that loves bird notice. Yeah, yeah, and I always like, it's like, Bruce Campbell allowed a lot of people. I think bird notice was probably the most widely watched, but then again, it's like, I don't think anyone's watching these shows, but then yeah, you meet just like, dozens of people in your life who are like, dude, you ever watch the suits?

It's like there are people watching this shit, but you know, similar. This is why Showtime is the USA Network, like a Tony or USA Network, because I didn't think that anyone watched Ray Donovan, and then I met several friends who watched Ray Donovan, specifically my friend's parents who loved Ray Donovan. Like that's a show for dads. And this show, I think people watch Billions too. I think they do too.

And I'm going to go ahead and go on a limb here and say for good reason. One, very well cast. Two, it's like, it's kind of like a smarter law and order for financial crimes with self-contained seasons and everything. Like I read up on like more of the broader story arcs or whatever, which is, it's weirdly, not that I care, but it's weirdly politically good. And we don't actually have a lot of, obviously the prestige version of that is succession, but we don't have, that's such a rich, like financial crimes is such a rich subject

for like, you know, a drama. That's amazing that there aren't more of them, but this thing is so ridiculous. Yeah, it's like, so I do want to, after the end of the recap, I want to compare this to succession because I think the comparison points are super interesting. I'm fascinated by them, but I do, I want to explain what we mean by like USA type show. Like what we mean by USA type show. Okay. You know how like on a Netflix show, you can tell that they're made by a computer.

You can tell they're made by a computer because every scene is made to be gifable. It's meant to be like shared that way or like a scene where it's like touches on a hot button social issue so they can push it out quick and it can go viral. Yeah, and actual human beings making the Pixar face. Yeah, exactly. I show to, or USA Network show is different. It's like as forced, but I think more, it comes from a more honest place. USA Network shows aren't made to be gifed or like viral memes, like repurposed,

like repurposed Gladio Twitter accounts. They're made to be like Tumblr communities and YouTube highlight videos. Yeah. Whenever they write a character on a USA Network or USA Network type show, they're thinking of like five years from now when someone's like, you know, acts best moments, Megan Markle's best moments and it's set to like a five for a fighting song. Right. That's what they're thinking of.

And I think too, like in the way that it is memeable, like, you know, like the like the bird notice that the Bobo Riley, you know, Roger D'Altri scream that everyone was using for a while. Like it's without like context. It's just like, and I don't mean this word disparagingly. It's just kind of epic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's a good, it's a good time.

It's a good time for people who like good times. So I think we'll just jump into this. Billions like Ray Donovan. It starts out with a bang. Yeah. Ray Donovan starts out with Ray throwing a woman in the dumpster. Billion starts out with Paul Giamatti getting domped. Right.

Getting peed on. This is 2016 too. Very important that this that this premiered in 2016. Yes. No, yeah. So he's the he's a U.S. attorney for like Southern District, New York. He's, he's Elliott Spitzer. Yeah.

They said they based it off of Elliott Spitzer and one other guy. And they open it up and meet. Yes. Him. I hope Preepahara was going to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I mean it, but they open it just with its bondage. He gets burned with a cigarette. Pissed on, you know, it's, it's kind of a cliche like powerful man actually likes being domped, but you're like, okay, let's see where this goes. And then they go to his office. Yeah. And he's, there's like this teta-teta he has with an SEC official. And I love this.

The SEC official looks exactly like Mikey Miles. He looks so much like him. So I thought he was just going to plop down like a plate of noodles with Brock, wet broccoli on top of them and be like, what do you think of this? I like the fact that they named him Ari Spiros, which is like naming him like, you know, Jewish baklava. Like it's just like a placeholder ethnic white name. Yeah.

No, they were just like takes place in New York, whatever. Fuck it. We'll give you two things. So he's bringing him some, some recordings of some trades that the SEC flagged from some big players in the financial industry, but it's a big deal because he thinks he thinks he can connect it to Bobby Axelrod, who's sort of like the star hedge fund manager in New York. The axe.

The axe, Bobby Axelrod. And Bobby Axelrod is played by Damien Lewis. Who has such a punchable face. Perfect casting. Yeah. And Paul, geometrically, basically tells a Rothschild spin a cop. He basically tells him like, hey, I would, you know, I buy my time. I have an undefeated record on financial crimes because they know exactly when to go after

them and he's too strong now. Yeah. And it's also like, this is the first point at which you realize that like this could be a very easy good guys versus bad guys thing where you're like, yeah, we want, pissed on Paul Giamatti to get the bad guy. But you realize also he has his own like daddy issues and stuff. And he doesn't want the SEC to get the, to get the guy without him getting the guy. So that's why he tells him to pull back.

You realize he has sort of petty personal things that he's obsessed with, which is interesting because like one of the writers of this is Andrew Ross Sorkin. No relation from, he's at the Times financial columns. He's on squawk box. Whoever watches that. He wrote too big to fail. Yeah. And he, Andrew Ross Sorkin famously said after the snow did story that Glenn Greenwald

should be arrested. Right. Right. And he wrote this ironically with David Levin and Levin and Brian Copleman who wrote like oceans 13 and rounders. You know, movies where you're rooting for the people who are cheating and stealing. Yeah. Yeah.

And he wrote that because the first, after this, after the SEC scene and Jim body sort of giving boxing and allergies for why he only wants to take on Axelrod on the Times. Right. We formally get introduced to Axelrod and it's, He's in the old neighborhood. Yeah. He's in the old like outer borough shithole and he's in a pizza place that him and his friend would go to after school and the pizza place it's getting moved in on by a pita place.

Yeah. It's as a falafel shop, which I'm like, is that real? Are those things really in competition? Like I don't like, I've never been like, instead of a nice yummy falafel, I would like a giant greasy New York slice. Yeah. I don't like pizza. So which is why I'm getting kicked out of this state eventually.

Oh yeah. It's not that great. I, you know, once a year, I love a pizza, but not often, but I can't figure out how he saves quote unquote saves the neighborhood business other than like bullying the Arabs that run the fucking falafel shop. Okay. I rerun this scene. And so what I figured out is he buys the company that owns the lease of the pizza place and

releases them at like 0% interest. Okay. But then he says he's going in as a partner. So like he said, I want, I want to, he's like, I want another slice. In fact, I want all of it. I say, you know, I'm a partner. Only thing that changes is, and it's just like, well, this actually kind of sounds like you are forcing them to abdicate some control of their business to you legally.

And also maybe pushing out an immigrant business into a strip. Yeah. That was the thing. It's like, I don't know, was the pita thing, was that like a message about multiculturalism? I don't understand it at all. But I do want to talk about Damien Lewis' accent in this because he literally just sounds like Donald Trump. Like that's his outer borough accent.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what he's like. Well, that guy's from Queens and he's supposed to come from like hard scrabble beginnings is the thing, but he's just sounds, it sounds weird. He sounds weird. It's a weird accent. There are a lot of different old New York accents that you almost never hear anymore.

Donald Trump does have a specific type of New York accent, but it's a rich guy New York accent. Yeah. Like it's that weird hiss. Like Damien Lewis does it where, yeah. In every city it's, yeah, he's supposed to do this Queens or Long Island outer borough tough. But yeah, the first scene you see him in, he's like, your pizza's so nice.

Yeah. Yeah. Kind of like leans in and like, you know, you always put pizza on my tab when I couldn't afford it. It's like, wait, you had a pizza tab? Yeah. No wonder this business is going on there. Quit blaming the immigrants.

Start charging people for pizza. No. Yeah. You couldn't really see how they got in this situation. So now, like that, that seems like, all right, you know, maybe there's a good side of Bobby Axelrod, but then we see, you know, why they want to go after Axelrod. Right. They're at their, the headquarters for their hedge fund and I actually like this, that they,

this is very true to life. They had the headquarters of the hedge fund in Connecticut. Yeah. In Westport. Yeah. But they, they didn't give locations for the pizza place or, you know, Giamatti sex dungeon, but they gave it for Westport, which I think it would have been better if they had done that more consistently.

But I like that they put it in Westport and the guy's walk, like his number two, I forget his name is like wearing a micro fleece vest. You know, I love that too. That is how hedge fund guys dress. It's attention to detail. Yeah. Yeah.

So he's doing a walk and talk in the huge headquarters of the hedge fund and these two guys, his one number two and like the young whiz kid from Stanford are giving him data on these block of trades. He, Axelrod instantly deduces what's up before they do. Yeah. By the way, I, I think I have, I know more than the average person about economics by kind of a lot, but even I get kind of confused when it comes to like finance. And I kind of like that they didn't make me figure it out like, uh, and like, again,

like to understand the Martha Stewart thing, I had to draw a chart. So like, I kind of liked that they like, you know, try to big short it, like just to write it like that. They would just like, no, I figured it out and, and you're like, oh, okay, that's all, that's all I need to know. Right. Because that's, yeah, it's efficient. That's like USA style.

That writing. Right. It's like easy writing where you're like, oh, wow, I'm gripped by these financial trades. But it is like very competent smart writing where it's like, don't worry about this. Just get the point that this guy's really smart. Yeah. I think that was the way to do it because this is not a show that's supposed to teach you about, um, American finance.

It's, it's, it's a cool, it's a cool guy, uh, a drama about big money. And, uh, and, oh, one of my favorite thing was, uh, when the, the, his number two was like, that's a good catch, man. He goes, don't butter my ass. You know that thing that people say? Yeah. Don't, well, again, like if I was a British person pretending to be American in Westport kid, don't butter my ass.

That's how they sound. Yeah. That's the equivalent of those, of, of, uh, that video game where Japanese people were like making up, uh, American names. This is a British person trying to figure out how top guy Americans sound. Yeah. And, and they made that joke too, like, and he went Hofstra and I'm like, I don't know what that means.

I just, I'm supposed to find school. I don't, this was the thing where I'm like, okay, I have to, this is not my, uh, I do not come from this type of criminal. I come from a, you know, more of a sons of anarchy type of criminal. I have to ask Felix for a translation of what Hofstra exists. Well that, that's like, okay, I'm glad he said sons of anarchy because this is sons of anarchy for the financial world. Right.

Yeah. Like that's what's awesome about it. Yes. But, uh, so we get like, we get the Alex Dorot sandwich. We get like a scene of him doing something nice, a scene of him showing he's like rapacious and highly intelligent in business. And then there's a hilarious scene. Oh my God.

Yes. This scene is, this is so sons of anarchy where he gathers the orphans of every trader who died in 9-11. In his firm, which for some reason maybe he got a tip that he wasn't supposed to be in the tower that day. We have to keep watching this because what if there's an episode where it's like flashback September 10th, 2001, Bobby, don't come into work tomorrow. He gets a message on the Telex.

Yeah. They're his little Lebowski urban achievers, except they're not. They are the, they are the orphans of extremely rich traders that died in his, like, like these aren't people, this isn't like Pete Davidson, whose dad was like a firefighter. Like this is like, they, these were fine. I mean, it's sad that they lost their dad, but they don't need help with college. That's not their problem. Their problem is that their dad is dead.

Yeah. Like they judging, like everyone on this show makes like $30 million a year. Yeah. Like these guys, every rich guy in middle age has life insurance pretty much. Like it just. Oh, those guys definitely for sure. And, and there were resources and like they, they got money like, but he has to have like this big dog and pony show about how he's like, I don't know, doing some little Lebowski

urban achievers for the, for the 1% and then this bitch. This part's so insane. This like dumb bitch, this dumb Connecticut bitch wasp is like, it should have been you. She literally is like, Oh, so I don't get why some people were luckier than others that day. Like I didn't know she was implying that he knew about 9 11. Like that was where my head went. Like I'm like, are you saying that like he got a tip?

Like are you saying that like, you know, his bagel guy put a little like fortune cookie size message not to go like, why are you, what is this storyline? Why is she bitter after all of these years? And then when he does this weird, so he condescends to this 9 11 widow and tries to big dick her by like dueling tragic women with his wife, whose brother died in 9 11, which by the way, I'm sorry, not the same thing. And so she goes to like comfort the 9 11 widow, but then you find out, you know, Malin Ackerman who plays his wife is like, you know, I know you've been through a lot and it was difficult

and this bitch is like, yeah, we had to sell the yacht, which is really the worst part of being a widow, having to sell your yacht. And then Malin Ackerman is like, well, I came from, you know, Inwood or whatever, by the way, not believable as a hard scrabble girl, and she ends by like, threatening her. And then being like, yes, I'm threatening you. I come from tough people with her little Malin Ackerman sunshine face. Like, I don't believe, yeah, she's doing the best she can, but I don't believe her in that role.

And also, I like her, you know, she's cute. She's funny. I liked her in like the fucking Harold and Kumar movie. She's like funny. She looks like a like a low carb Megan McCain, but she is not believable as a hard scrabble like girl being like, don't talk to my husband that way, or I will fucking kill you. Also, like, did you catch what he said? I grew up with five Sibs, another thing no one has ever said.

No one says that. That's not. Yeah. But yeah. So for several reasons, she's threatening the woman who is also basically everyone's awful. What you're just everyone's awful, everyone's rich and awful. And they're mad about their boats and not the fact that their loved ones died.

Yeah. So we get, oh yeah, the name of Giamatti's number two is, or Brian, Brian, Brian. So yeah, Brian and Paul Giamatti are having lunch and they're talking about Axelrod and talking about the files that Ari Spiros from the SEC brought over. And Giamatti's giving this whole thing like, do you think a good matador, yeah, he says do you think a good matador pokes a fresh bowl? No, he waits until it's been cut a few times. Metaphors upon metaphors upon metaphors.

It's 3D chess. It's sports. It's bullfighting. It's, it's, it's stylized, but it's really snappy dialogue. And normally when Choppo makes me watch TV, it's like a fucking, some sorkin thing and I'm just screaming the whole time. But this is like fun. It's like stupid and fun.

It's ridiculous, like the director and the writers clearly like actors. They let Paul Giamatti like do his Paul Giamatti thing. They let them like play around and kind of ham it up and chew on the scenery. But it is really fucking funny when they say something like, don't butter my ass. Yeah, yeah. So Kate, one of, one of the young staffers at the US Attorney's Office tips off Giamatti, fuck roads, that Bobby is considering buying a $38 million property on the Hamptons and that.

I thought it was 83. It was 83. Oh, it was 83? Fuck. Yeah. My brain reversed it. Valued at. Yeah, because that's such an obscene number and they show the thing and it's like an ugly

wasp castle. It's disgustingly ugly. It's like, oh my God, wealth is wasted on the rich. None of them even have any taste anymore. The wasps ever since like the breakers, they haven't, all their houses just look like J.C. Penny. They do. They do.

They look like the expensive mall. Yes. Yes. It seems, it's insane. It looks like a heaven designed by Macy. Yes. Oh my God. No, I figured it out.

It looks like if the Sistine Chapel was Protestant. It's so ugly. It's awful. So their reasoning is like, yeah, if he buys this like dumpy as a shit palace that he'll no longer be like the 9-11 folk hero like he is to people and it'll be okay, will be safer for the U.S. Attorney's Office to go after him. Because so much of this is apparently based on public opinion and I guess, I mean, I'm not sure how true this is because the only like bankers that went to jail after the crash

were like a small Chinese bank that like, I don't actually think that public opinion wanted or cared about those like, the small Chinese bank that like runs half of Chinatown and that's it. I think they actually wanted like the big evil people. So I'm not sure how much this really plays out, but I don't know, maybe there's something to it. Public opinion probably doesn't hurt if you're trying to convict someone. No, yeah, it was, it's like a weird conflict to make, but I mean, I guess it is one.

Yeah. And he would look like a dickhead. So, you know, and for Giamatti, who's very image obsessed too, it at least makes sense for the internal world of his character. Yeah. So, the next thing we get a sons of Anarchy alum, Maggie Sif, she's so fucking beautiful. But yeah, so like, she's the in-house therapist for the hedge fund, which you don't find out to the end though, which is great.

You just know that his number two is in a shrink's office. And then after the scene, she walks into the thing, into the offices and you're like, oh, and that's the reveal. Which, by the way, that is a real thing, like in-house finance stuff. Do you remember Mattress Girl, the girl who carried around the mattress, because rape or art or something? Both of her parents are not just those people, they're the consultants that supply those people to Wall Street.

Holy shit. They are some of the wealthiest psychiatrists, like probably in America. And their job, and this is, again, a real job, is to, one, figure out who's going to wash out, who's going to burn out, and then provide resources and therapy services. Not directly. I mean, Mattress Girl's parents do the admin part of it. But to provide people whose job is basically to erase people's consciousnesses. To just teach you how to be an inhuman monster, to give you these pep talks that eradicate

any kind of morality you have. And that's a whole huge, massive industry in finance. Because it turns out that people aren't supposed to do that stuff, it eats away at your soul and rots you from the inside. No, yeah. It's like the same difficulty soldiers feel with pulling the trigger. The more that they can disconnect you from that very good, base instinct, the better for them.

But yeah, so the number two of the best guy goes in, and he says that he's felt like he's sort of lost his swing in trading. And she basically, yeah, give us him one of these pep talks. She like hates him. Yeah, yeah. I would just bust on the spot if he did. Yeah, he's, by the way, he's getting like so hard through his microfleece vest. Yeah.

And she ends it like a three-minute session, and that's when she walked out, and she realized she's like the in-house therapist for machete cock capital. Yeah. Yeah, that part, I thought it was cool that they had her, because again, huge industry. It's this whole, they're like, well, what's a problem with our business model? What's slowing us down? What's costing us money? Oh, sometimes our employees feel guilt.

Oh, we got to fix that. And they did. So we are now, we see Paul Giamatti come home. He says, I thought this was hilarious when he sees his two kids, he goes, how do you guys do? How do you do a child in so far away from life? How do you do, sir? Like, he could like take off his hat.

Yeah. They're really cute, too. He could tell he has an actual like rapport with his children, which is interesting. Yeah, absolutely. A lot of parenting details to this show, too. Yeah. So at the kitchen table is Wendy, is Maggie said, and... Damn, he's married to the in-house shrink, and it's his S&M wife.

And somehow, that's not a conflict of interest. Yeah, and they immediately launch into that, like he tells her that there's a position for HR director at GE Open, which is like as evil as what she's... Oh, totally. Totally. Yeah. If that, her job there would just be being like, you know what, no one even liked those birds.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, you know, Flint was going to be totally vacant anyway, it's fine what we did to him. So she's like, why, what, is there something going on? Are you investigating Axelrod? And he goes, no, no, I'm just saying, I'm like, I'm giving you an opportunity and they have a big fight.

And also, I can't talk to you about that, which is like, first of all, like, you shouldn't... It shouldn't have to get to the point where you're investigating him before it's a conflict of interest. Yeah. And she's like, so quit your fucking job because it humiliates him in front of his children and it becomes like this economics versus feminism because he's a prosecutor, she's a girl boss, and it's like... She makes like $10 million a year, and she throws that in his face.

She makes like eight times what he makes, so way more than that. And she brings up his daddy issues, which are alluded to, and he never says, but your job is stupid and evil. Yeah, yeah. And it's also like, that's the other thing, when they talk about their standard of living, like, yeah, I mean, it's alluded to later, Giamatti's dad, like Spitzer, is a very rich man. Yeah, yeah.

They could live in that brownstone. It's literally like one, I mean, like how much, I can live pretty luxuriously on a podcaster's lifestyle, on a podcaster's pay, in New York. And part of it, not to be all like Protestant, but like how much money do you need? Like literally, he's like an attorney general and like he clearly has some kind of a trust and they probably own the house outright and like... Yeah, yeah, you guys can figure it out. I mean, it's like, it reminds me of the Wall Street Journal graphic that was like, oh yeah,

you think it's a lot? You think it's good to make $600,000 a year? Here's how quickly that money goes away. Rare quails, $30,000 a month. Disposable jet fees. No one ever thinks about how much toilet gold cost, and you're like, what the fuck is that? What are you doing?

Like, I don't understand like at the state, I guess whatever, I guess the famine meets the feast, but it is genuinely insane because like there's no way, I bet there's public knowledge how much it's like a U.S. like attorney like... They make like, I think it's like $180,000 a year. Right. But even if she got any other job that didn't have to do with finance, she would make a ton. And they probably own the house outright and they have money. Anyway, she just doesn't want to quit because she's a psychopath, which is like...

Exactly, she's a bad person. She's a bad person. And she's a girl boss and she likes... She does this all in front of the kids and she's like, I make so much more than you. She gets some weird sexual pleasure out of humiliating him in front of the kids. They're both like... Yeah, and it's like, well, if that's your thing, okay, but this is not for children. Keep this away from them.

Yeah, go to your sex dungeon and he's like, money, is that what we're trying to teach the kids? And she's like, are we trying to teach the kids that mothers shouldn't work? And it's like, oh, bitch. He did suggest she work at GE, which is like, you can still be evil too. Yeah, yeah, you can do your favorite thing, which is being evil for tons of money. We get the Axelrod house after that. And they're in not the house he wants to buy, but like another shitty awful house.

Another awful Connecticut house. It looks like shit. So... Unlike Jim Addy, he has help, he has like a nanny and a chef and he's a really bad dog owner. He's a terrible dog owner. The dog is just like pissing on the floor and he thinks it's great. And I realized like, wow, both of these men are piss pigs.

They just love to live in piss. Yeah, they love pee-pee. It's just... The dog thing becomes a big symbolism. Yeah, that was one of the... It was like babies for a visual metaphor, but so you kind of see what the Axelrods are like. Like, after the chef makes the family meal, Bobby quizzes his kids about what they're

doing in school and the kids start betting each other about like... It was like... Like trivia gambling? Yeah, they're trivia gambling and the younger son sort of ropes the older son into thinking he doesn't know the answer to one trivia question and tricks him. Yeah, he lets them think that he has a worse hand than he does. And the Axel thinks this is great because he's a really good parent who wants his children to be in combat with each other and thinks it's great when the dog...

He literally said that's why it's called a pissing contest when the dog pisses on the floor. It's like, you live in piss. Yeah, you spent like probably $30 million on this house and it's covered in piss because you just watch Planet Earth if you want to learn about nature. Jesus Christ. Fucking weirdo. But I like this because the competition he puts his sons through is like...

That's what the Ottomans would do to their male heirs. Because they wouldn't designate an heir, they'd be like, oh, they have to fight each other so we get the strongest possible sultan, even though it just creates these awful family dynamics where everyone hates each other, no one trusts each other. Yeah, yeah. It's really fucked up. And also, they're learning that it's fine that the dog is harassing... The dog is making the nanny or the maid's life hell and she's trying to slow down.

I was like, no, let him go. And then the dog pisses and he's like, this is to piss off the chef. And it's like, why is he feeling competitive with the chef? The chef just made you a roast. It looks delicious. Why is that cool? Why are you bringing all this competition into the... Why are you making your dog fight your chef and your sons fight each other?

Like, I don't understand this thing. He wants his children to compete, betray, and hustle each other. And then he kind of tells them not to, but then he winks at them. And he's like, yeah, no, still be awful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, yeah, but do it. Do it. But then the kid wins and they bet push-ups that he wouldn't know the trivia question

and then the kid does. And then Malin Ackerman is like, they're like, ha, ha, well, we don't hustle our brother, but also we don't, we don't welch on a bet. Again, another reason Malin Ackerman is not believable as a working class girl, she says we don't welch on a bet. No one corrected her apparently. I know she's actually from like Sweden or something, but shouldn't someone be there to be like, it's welch.

You sound like a private school girl. So the next scene, we get another insane family dynamic scene. Chuck in his office, the US attorney's office, his father is coming in with a friend and he's begging his son to give him leniency on his sentencing for some financial crime. But Rose makes a big show of telling the old man who he's summered with in the Hamptons, like no, I won't do it. And dad, if you come here again to try to get leniency for one of your friends, I'll handcuff you.

Yeah. And it was technically legal, but like barely. It was, it was within the letter of the law, but not within the spirit of the law. He was asking for favors for his friend to skip, skip Polish. Yeah. That was a confused name because skip is usually, those are wasps. Yeah. His name was like, yeah, skip was Nooski and it was like, okay.

That's not how that, yeah, that's weirder than Ari Spiros. Yeah. So they have a press conference next, the US attorney's office, and he, you know, he announced this one of those big gangbusters. It's like, we got $2 million in Coke. You know, we arrested. Oh, wait, wait, wait, I have one thing I want, I want to go back to your story. I thought that they did do a good job where he let skip know that he's not getting out

of it and like he's like punishing him more or something and he's like, now you're going to get jail. They actually let the guy kind of break down in a way that's actually sort of moving and it was like a moment of like good drama and I'm like, I have like a weird degree of sympathy for like awful people if it's portrayed in an artistic way because like I'm a bitch but I'm not punitive. So like, No, I know what you mean.

He's like when how the AI from 2001 just starts murdering astronauts, I saw that and I bawled when they turned him off because he said he was scared. There was like this photo series of the reproduced final meals of like death row inmates and like Oh my God. Yeah. It's like, I mean, like some of those people did it. I mean, I'm against the death penalty, but not just because it's a mistake and I didn't

just think you shouldn't kill people. But then I see someone who was like, Oh, the serial rapist just wanted ice cream. I feel so bad for this stuff. And at the same time with a banker, I'm like, look, I can feel bad for the fucking murder robot or the serial rapist banker string him up. So for this guy to actually make me feel bad, he said like, I wasn't ready for this and like Giamatti like consoles him and it's like very well acted. It was really well acted.

I was very impressed. It made me sympathize with a banker, which is like to me is below rapist and murder robot. Yeah. Uh, so yeah, there's this press conference where he's bragging about one of these U.S. Attorney gangbusters. And I did like talking about good politics. I did like that it's sort of implied that this is sort of like a bullshit thing for

the U.S. Attorney's office to do. Like really, you're going to go after like it was called Operation Latin Kings. You're going to go after a 21 year old like poor Dominicans. Right. This is selling shitty code. Like who fucking cares? Yeah, it's like a press conference that is like total acknowledge is totally staged. Yeah.

And a Wall Street Journal reporter starts needling him. Like why are you bragging about this bullshit? So many people are like are getting off. Like what are you doing about acts capital? Yeah. You went after the like three Chinese bankers and not all these evil people plus your piss wife. Maybe that's a conflict of interest.

Yeah. So he decides to go ahead and make a play and he decides he's going to tell Axelrod not to buy that Hampton's property. And his reasoning is that if he's innocent, if there's nothing crooked going on at X Capital, he won't buy it out of discipline. But a guilty man would do it to show that, yeah, go ahead. To flaunt it. He's doing psychology because of the pissing contest because there's so much piss in this.

This is all about piss dads. This entire show is about piss dads. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, Axelrod has kids basketball game and in more bad dad shit, his employees approach him to like settle a matter. And it's like you're at your kids. I mean, to be fair, these are like white children who I can only assume learned how

to play basketball at a Connecticut prep school. And to my knowledge, they are not Serbian Bosnian or Lithuanian. So they're probably shitty players. They're probably not good at basketball. Yeah, it's bad dad shit. And they're like, oh, should we buy or should we sell? And we find out one of the guys working for him actually paid off a worker to look at a warehouse to see whether or not the merchandise was moved for a little looky loo in the working

warehouse to see if the merchandise was moving. Something his colleague doesn't know. And then the colleague figures out that he's done sort of like later when they're walking away and Axelrod to first at the sky, even though he never says out loud, oh, I committed a crime. The colleague figures it out and he said, why did you tell me you were sure you were certain? And he's like, do your own work.

And then he realized like Ax treats his employees like his children by like pitting them against each other and making them compete, which is like, I guess how finance capital kind of does. I mean, did you ever read about Steve Cohn? No. From SAC Capital. I feel like Axelrod, in a lot of parts, is the base of Steve Cohn. Did you ever hear the Steve Cohn lawsuit where a guy sued him and alleged that Cohn dosed

him with pharmaceuticals and hormones for research on a pharma company they were trading? I totally believe that. No, yeah, 100%. I totally believe that. Yeah, that is the kind of shit they would do. And it's not made clear whether Ax knows that this guy like, you know, went and paid off a worker to go look in a warehouse and, but you kind of think he does and he did. But it's not, no one told him, if he didn't hear it, it's not illegal.

So again, this letter of the law kind of thing. So there's a scene where he meets his advisor, Hall, who's played by Jim Cramer, Jim Cramer worse performer. I know, he's so not good at this. Yeah. I mean, he's not good at anything. You know, he, he's like sort of a private investigator and he's basically telling him like, Hey, you know, lay low.

My biggest nightmare is feds and windbreakers coming for you. And how like he delivers the line where he delivers the line like he's on his show. Like Damien Lewis is doing his drum thing where he's like, come on, what do we got? What do we got? Is there a case? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and, and Jim Cramer is like, you don't have a case file, but let me tell you something. The worst thing that could happen to you is it feds come to you.

So let me tell you, you should lay low and it just, you know, I did, I did that performance did feel jarring when I saw it, but it didn't occur to me that it was Jim Cramer. I was like, this guy's doing a weird, he's making a weird choice. So Jim Cramer gives him some advice and it's to leak information to that Wall Street Journal reporter from that press conference about Steven Birch of a banker who is an acquaintance of Axelrod. So Axelrod has lunch, makes a big show of opening this usually closed place up for lunch for the reporter has the teta-teta with him.

They have this, they have this back and forth where Axelrod sort of like defends the roles of hedge funds. Yeah. They're also, they're also from the old neighborhood and he like kind of like, you and me, we're not so different. I also hated rich people when I was, you know, young and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah.

He, they, they basically become sort of allies to this and he leaks some stuff about Birch. Axelrod decides not to buy the house, he's like, he's, he's, he's taking all of a Jim Cramer's advice, but he, he's having some, like one of those like dumb conferences rich guys have where they're like, the, the value of profit is motivation with Birch and roads and three of his ADA show up and it immediately angers Axelrod. And they have this. Cool. So the first time we see Giamatti and Damien face to face and it's actually like a pretty

fun scene. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And this is also like when Giamatti ends up calling Spiros at the SEC who, who he thinks sent in the journal is he has gone, he has gone full level 10 Giamatti. So you're like, oh, thank God, oh, thank God. This means that we're going to get full Giamatti a couple of times and so you see all the range

of Giamatti. So his like tense, coiled potency thing and like Axelrod's like shitty, ponchable face being all smug and stuff. It's like a fun exchange. It was very fun. And yeah, after that, Axelrod goes home. He sees that the dog's been neutered by, by Malin Ackerman. He buys the fucking house.

He buys the ugly piece of shit. Again, more, more psychology is like, ah, the, the women are going to cut off your balls. So you got to buy a big ugly house and piss on it. Just like that fucking games on Giamatti versus, versus Damian Lewis, the battle over who gets to keep their balls. Who has to wear the cone on their head? Literally all it took was Giamatti in this exchange being like, don't buy that house. He's doing, he's doing like literally like childish reverse psychology on.

Yeah. Like, don't you, don't you buy that house? And he's like, I'm going to buy the house. I'll show you. Yeah, Giamatti as a U.S. attorney is like, he, his main, his main research is reading like it's psychology on Twitter. Like when people are angry, they make bad decisions. Yeah.

And he's married to, it's because he's married to one of these like insane therapists too. Yeah. Again, all of these people have like level one, the most basic like freshman in high school psychology levels of like motivations, which is fun for TV. It's perfect for TV. And that's why. Okay. So at the end of this, like I went into this with like low expectations because it's like,

and it's like, I kind of, there's a lot I favorably compare this with, with succession with aesthetically what I love about this versus succession, succession is like, I've watched some of it. I think some of it's very funny. But the thing I don't like about succession is that basically you have these characters who are awful. You basically have like the American Murdoch's and they're written by like sort of hip New York, detached New York, ironic people.

And so the result is, is that everyone likes these awful characters and their aesthetic is like this actually, it's weird, like the set design and character designs good, but it's so good in the sense that it's like what would be tasteful to buy and wear and adorn your house with, you had $10 billion. And it all of it comes together to have this effect to be just this like fun play about this awful family that everyone who watches seems to end up sort of liking. It's like, all everyone who made fun of people who miss the point of sopranos, I feel like they're kind of missing the point of succession, but I don't blame them because it's presented

so well. It's presented in a way where you, it's hard. You know what it is? It's subtle. Yeah. Exactly. The thing about billions is that it is not subtle. That's what I love about billions is because everything almost campy.

Everything in Damien Lewis's world is tasteless and shitty and awful. Like he's, yeah, he's Steve Cone. He's got $20 billion. He makes any commodified product impossible for poor people to buy, but the stuff he wears is like, yeah, he wears like a shitty Donna Karen suit and like a Rolling Stones graphic tee and it's like, that's what those guys wear. They're assholes. They have no taste.

Their world sucks. They're doing this all for nothing. And that's why I love this. It's like, no, like the world, the world of capital is awful. They don't produce any culture. They have no culture. They're shit. They're shit people.

And it focuses on very like base primitive greed as opposed to like some sort of like grand sense of empire, which is what like Logan Roy is like, I built this company and like, whatever, a machete car like is sort of like that, but mostly he's like, I'm gonna get a big fucking house. And when he meets, there's a scene where he actually meets with Giamatti's wife for like another one of her famous like three minute long sessions. Her hourly rate is amazing. She is amazing profit.

She has to be playing solitaire all day. All fucking day. Yeah. And she says, oh, you're doing well with your like impulse control. And she like, she says like the, you know, the impulse buys are a part of his like problem and things that he was like looking to correct, which is actually kind of, I mean, that's what being wealthy does to you, like super wealthy does to you. You don't, you don't become like this.

I mean, very few people become like these empire building, you know, ambitious, like Napoleon or, or at a Turk, I will, you know, build and they're just like, I'm gonna get a fucking boat like, and like, this captures that, which is more common than the kind of succession rich guy. And also at the end, skip fucking kills himself because he can't deal with the shame or going to jail or whatever. And it's like, oh, actually for all as like crude and ridiculous and hammy as some of these characters are, they like do let them have like these weird human moments, even though

they're kind of like cartoony or whatever. It's like good TV. I honestly did not expect to like it so much. And it's like, no, I like it more than succession. I mean, it's corny and it's funny. It's like sons of anarchy, but it's like season one sons of anarchy where it knows what it is. It's also like, yeah, strangely, very good politics.

Like how in sons of anarchy, they portrayed federal law enforcement agents as awful. Right. Right. Purely awful psychopath. And you find out Giamatti has all these daddy issues and he's so petty and self motivated and like, you know, like, he doesn't even, yeah, he doesn't even do the investigation that he should have early on because he, he doesn't think you could win it. And the reason that bothers him is because he wants to deal with his like record.

Like he has like a, like this big ego thing and they all, they all just, it's all just pissed at. So it's just daddy issues, pissing, vagina dentata, castration, like it's, but I don't know. It works really well. And I like enjoyed this and I was like, is this this television that I've heard so much about? Like, oh my God.

Have people heard of TV? I've, I've just been reading books like a dumb bitch. This is so fun. No, I was into this. Yeah. I was actually into this. I'm like, it's just a part of it is just casting, directing, but it is written really well.

And again, how it differs from like a Sorkin kind of a drama is like, they clearly like like actors and let the actors have fun and like are a little aware that some of this is like ridiculous. I don't know. I liked, I liked the, I liked the dumb guy finance show. It's, I thought it was good. It's an awesome idea. Yeah.

Like in sons of anarchy for finance is a fucking amazing idea and it causes you to look at this world through a truer lens than anything else. Yeah. Yeah. Because there's a little too much, you know, Oscar wild comedy of manners to succession for it to really like push the drama part. A lot of it is comedy of manners. And this is like a procedural with drama and it's, and it's still fucking like USA enough

to say shit. Like, don't butter my ass. Yeah. Yeah. It's perfect. That's something for everyone. You know? No.

Yeah. Yeah. I, yeah. Geomanias never failed me. He has never failed me. He's the king. Yeah. As someone I like, I went into this like this week.

Yeah. Yeah. I was like, no, I had a good time. Yeah. I might watch this. I might watch this just when I don't have to. This might be the first time that choppo has had me watch a television show that I didn't walk away like screaming.

Yeah. No. This was one of the best. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just, it's a little, it's a little jam. Maybe I'll, maybe I'll become a USA network guy after this, but maybe there's something to it.

Yeah. I hear, I hear, I hear everyone's really hot. Yeah. They're so hot. My friend told me. Yeah. I don't know. I, I was also surprised because as far as like a stuff about like finance and, and class

war and shit like that, it's like there aren't more shows like this and, you know, succession is much more sort of soap opera. I think it's very funny. I, I like the show, but it's like, you know, you can make like a middle brow version of that. That's like, still good. You know? Yeah.

Exactly. Well, I, I really hope that billions eventually wins the culture war against succession. Yeah. If you were listening to this and you were one of the makers of billions, like fucking good work, man. Yeah. Good job. I had a really good time.

And I, I don't even watch the television. No. Yeah. This is a delight. I never watch Showtime. I haven't watched Showtime since they took off my favorite show in Showtime, Brotherhood, which was actually great. You'll watch anything with brother in the title though.

Yeah. It's true. It's true. Well, the Chechen movie, brother's fucking awesome. I, I totally believe you. It's great movie. All right. I think that, I think that about covers that.

Yeah. Thank you so much. Well, I have to like, because we can't make fun of this show, I'll have to think of like a different thing we want. Yeah. Yeah. I had too much fun and enjoyed it and appreciated it too much to really like rip it apart. So I mean, thanks, I guess.

Yeah. Oh, my pleasure. All right. I don't know why, I don't know why I need to do that. We don't even know you. made of bricks, up and pump bitch, you ain't flowin' down shit This little piggy got a house made of bricks, pan over hand over hand over fist This little piggy got a house made of bricks, up and pump bitch, you ain't flowin' down shit

Runnin' on fumes, walkin' on coals, pockets on rogue ain't pulled out of control Green means gold, red means gold, I'm color blind motherfucker, I don't know Feet are beatin' the block, I'm pleatin' and squeezein' the juice out Decent screamin' this top, I'm pleakin' this scene with the two loud money for the two loud money