Chapo Trap House - Bonus: This is Sus 11 – Queer Eye

Episode Date: July 9, 2020

Ben and Palma of Seeking Derangements join Felix to examine several episodes of the hit Netflix reality makeover show “Queer Eye” Find Seeking Derangements on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/seeking-derangements/id1503267615 Subscribe to Seeking Derangements on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/seekingderangements

Hello everybody, welcome to this new week of This Is Us. We have, for the second time in This Is Us, we have two guests. We have my friends, Ben and Paul Ma from Seeking Derangements. Hey guys. Hello. She likes to have us back on to launder his homophobia. When we get to the second episode, absolutely. Oh yes.

There's a lot that needs to be laundered. If I say anything that comes across as homophobic, Felix texted it to me before we started recording and said, please say this. It's all in the script, guys. It's all in the script. No, I needed a surrogate for a lot of this. No, I did not.

I did not really. I was more confused than anything watching this. What we watched, and this was, I think Paul Ma's idea, was to watch the new season, the new series of Queer Eye. Yeah. Yes. I hadn't watched it, but I knew it was bad because all the promos and stuff from Netflix looked like it was,

it looked like gummo, you know, like it looked insane. So, you know, it seemed perfect for this, but I think Ben had another better idea for another episode, which was the cop episode from season one. You guys remember that? The cop episode is really fucked. It is psychotic. It's insane.

Especially now you can see how just like completely tone deaf it is and how narrow of a scope the project of Queer Eye is. You know what I mean? It's like, it immediately backfires on itself. They folded. They showed their hand immediately with that show. It was very obviously capitalizing on, hey,

like the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage, like all the faggots can go off and marry. Now, why can't we have a show about how the gay guys are living nice, you know, married lives and nice home lives. And, you know, all your disgusting straights are, you know, living in filth and disgusting shit. It's that, but like one thing Tan France said, Tan France, that the name itself is.

God. Imperity. But it's like black China. Like China and Tan France. But it's like, he said in talking about the original show from the early 2000s, he said the original show was a fight for tolerance and this one is a fight for acceptance, which again is a completely stupid thing to say.

Like it doesn't, that doesn't really line up, but I would much rather have like tolerance for gay people than acceptance. You know, it's like, I do not want to be accepted into like that this kind of like bourgeois media sphere. I don't want to be accepted into a company where, or like a system where it is also just shitting on people regardless of, you know, or because of their privilege

in life, their lack of. Yeah, for not having the right classic. Yeah. Like I don't want to join having like an exposed brick wall and a succulent. But not to be very gay about this sort of thing and get into theory, but by accepting, you know, that being accepted into that system where, you know,

if you like that, it means you've taken a side in that fight. Yeah. That was the thing I picked up was that the message, like we're going to start with a cop episode. The message in that one seemed to be like, hey, hey, we're all look, some of us are gay, some of us are black, some of us are regular, but at the end of the day, we can all look like, we can all live in places

that look like stores in Bushwick that sell for $30. Totally. That's what we should all be working for. Yeah. It's like that, but it's like your value as a human and like your respective culture only matters insofar as it can be like a retail, like a limited release, like retail booth at Target

or whatever, you know, it's like that. That's the only way you can drive. The seasonal area at Banana Republic. Yeah. Yeah. So this one, we're going to start with, this is an episode from season one, Dig It Don't.

And it was just described to me by Mike Paulmus as the cop episode. Yes. And it's, I like, I don't know what my mind scanned it as, but whatever I scanned it as and whatever I expected, it was a lot more than I initially expected. Like, holy shit. Yeah, it's insane.

It's insane. Holy shit. It's literally like one, it's like one step away from Jonathan Van Ness being like, I love your armband. It's like so unique, but you know, if you just like twisted it a little bit, it's going to look more like the side of a Hindu sun

and people are going to stop throwing milkshakes at you in public. It's literally like almost there. Yes. So the guys, they find out. The colors. The colors. I, um,

The queer eyes. Yeah. I like, I forgot they're called the fab five. So at one point in my notes, I said, the gay guys. I just forgot what they were called. I just didn't know Jonathan Van Ness is non binary. Felix canceled. Fucking God.

Yeah. I'm not going to get through this without fucking. Oh no. You're going to fuck up so bad on this. We will edit me out entirely out of this fucking episode. We will, we will catch you. We'll catch you when you fall. We'll call you in.

All right. Thank you. This will be, yeah. This could be a secret episode of seeking derangements and you get the pass. Yeah. I'm so fucked on this episode. JVN does have they slash him pronouns.

So it's totally. Okay. That's, that's all right. All right. Okay. I mean, JVN assess for, for how you look or for how they look, but we're really living up to the name. This is sauce in this.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. We finally found it. We found this is us. Okay. Bye guys. See you next time. All right.

So, um, they find out about their target. Uh, corn. Their vision. Yeah. They have technically ascertained a fat guy from Georgia. Yeah. They're kinetically ascertained a fat guy. They have a fat George and seeking missile.

They find they're like, this guy's like, Hey, I was in the Marines with this fat guy. Can you make him look good? Yeah. So this guy's, this guy's thing is basically that he's a big fat epic party animal. Like he dresses up in outfits and throws like big stupid southern parties. He's a chive guy. Yeah. He's like, his thing is like, he's the life of his like shitty town because he quotes

nigger man and they're like, that's the funniest guy in town. But the thing like, that was the thing that like through me for a loop at the start of this is like, they're like, Oh, they're going to explode. Like we're going to have these, these gay guys like show him culture, but it's like, this guy is known in town for having a party where like him and all his friends like have a dress up party that's like, some of them like didn't drag in the interstitial. And it's like, I don't like, it's like sort of, sort of like not totally heteronormative. He and Mariah Carey do love the same thing.

Just squeeze it honey. Is that a pineapple? That is a grown man dressed as a pineapple. But he's still a big fat party animal who like wears gym shorts everywhere. So they want him to like be an epic surfer his wife. He wants to do. Yeah. He wants to wear the fedora and he wants to go to the classic car match or, or whatever

and just do whatever there. Correct. Cruise. Correct me if I'm wrong here because I haven't seen this episode recently. But I think the way this opens is in a signature way, the queer eye always opens where they're all packed into this like massive like truck. And in this particular case, Karama, the black queer eye is driving and the cop that they are queer eyeing pulls them over and Karama isn't, ostensibly, is not keyed into the

bit. And so he's kind of like sweating and like he's like really like doing these theatrics and being scared. But it's, it's really clear that this was, I mean, it's a reality show. It's a reality show. This is a bit everyone knows what they're doing, but they're playing on like the inherent tension between like police and police murdering black people to like have a like cutesy moment here.

It's just like. Question is, is what we were pulled over for? Uh huh. You mind stepping out of the vehicle for me? No, you're not making a lie. Because I asked you to. I don't want him to. You're shooting a show, you said?

Yeah. It's called queer eye. What kind of show is this? We make over straight guys. You make over straight guys? Yeah. Okay. Is his name Corey?

Because I'm his nominator. That was insane. That was the director's choice. Hang on. Hang on. They did tell somebody. Oh my God. They told what?

What is it? Bobby? Is that him? Bobby is Bobby is not the one who the blonde one. That's Bobby. That's the one who does the homemaker, home makeovers. And every time he says something, he finishes each sentence with like a frown. I don't know if you guys get what I'm saying.

Yes. Yes. Frowns after every single one of his sentences. He reminds me a lot of my old buckle manager who was like incredibly closeted and did the exact same thing. Yeah. Talked the exact same way and wore the exact same style. It's because Bobby fled a like hyper conservative like Christian upbringing, which he always

brings up in the show. There's one episode where he refuses to enter a church. They have this whole moment with him like in front of the church. She talks about like all the trauma it caused him. But I think they were creating like a pastor or something. It's like, I see that I see that the church can be gay now. And so I'm ready to take my first step back into that world. And he goes in and like starts crying.

It's like so funny. I love that they have like a signature like damaged like gay from Utah or something. Like that's actually pretty cool. Yeah. The blonde guy, he gave me like the most like fucked vibe out of any of them. Oh, totally. JVN gives me a fuck vibe because I saw them do this thing with the Brookings Institute where they were they were like, um, so we're talking to the head of Latin American regime

change policy. I was like, this is like on their say no more fam. And I was like, what the fuck? What the fuck? I didn't listen to that one. That's we might have to do that for another episode because yeah, one of the most fucking. I think I like blacked out for a day after saying that. What a pimp.

He was laying pipe on stage with that spitting facts about El Salvador. I think the most fucked one is probably Anthony because he has like meth gay vibes where he his eyes are just always like mass like bulging out of his head. And he's always like, yeah, he's like excited in the way that like only children or like like GHB like meth gay guys are, you know. Okay. Anthony. Here's what I noticed about Anthony.

I wrote this down on my notes. Anthony's, um, he's very like genetically blessed, like the muscle bellies and biceps. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Not really. But like his, he has like a very athletically blessed build. He's one of those guys who puts on muscles incredibly easy, but he might have a dark

triad personality. I'm not sure. I think he's probably just been like ritually abused. I mean, he was an actor. Yeah. And I think he. I think he got into acting pretty young and then. Oh, right.

Okay. No need to spell it out. Cashed out and became a restaurant owner and personal chef. So I mean, you know, we've seen the story before. Yeah. Pretty easy to see what happens there. Yeah. The actor to restaurant owner trauma pipeline.

Oh my God. Yeah. Poor Anthony. Holy shit. But so there is this, this querying opens with, I don't know the cops. Sorry. It is. It is a query.

I'll give you that. I don't know. Is that what they're doing? Like they're like querying a guy. I don't know. Yeah. They were querying police brutality with that opening. They were querying police brutality.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. So they, they, uh, it opens with that the most tone deaf reality. I've ever fucking seen the fake pullover by the, by Corey's friend. And then they have a big laugh and they go to Corey's house. Um, Corey's basement is, look, I know a lot of people are going to call me a hypocrite for this.

It's just fucking shit. Uh, there's just like bullshit everywhere. It's just like the epic fat guy party zone. He's like, Oh yeah. Here's all the dresses me and my friends put on for the NASCAR party. Isn't that funny? Yeah. Yeah.

But the living room is like normal. It just looks like a normal house in the deep south. And there's a very massive delineation where you can tell the basement is all Corey's and the living room is all his wife's. And we find out that he met his wife by slapping her ass at a club. I did. Yes. It moves.

It moves. I love when, whenever the queer eyes first, um, kind of descend upon, uh, the, the subject, if you will, the subject's home and they just run in and just like start flailing around and like twerking on the walls and like smelling, smelling the guy's underwear. It's like, it's so, it's so, it feels like they're at like a zoo exhibit or something. It's so disrespectful. Yes. Someone's space.

They look like. They're like, hold up. Hold up a cucumber. Be like, this looks like my Friday night. Just being like, heinous, heinous faggots in front of an entire family. I mean, queer eyes is just, it really is just an experiment and how, how willing the average American family is to put up with just this insane amount of just condescension and just like having these, this harem of just like horrible gay guys around how, how far you

can push a family in exchange for a free house. Really? I mean, you are violating some sort of amendment, right? Of the constitution by bringing those faggots in that house. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Felix, to use, uh, uh, like, uh, an analogy that you would know very well. Do you remember a ghetto walks?

Yes, of course. Okay. The classic totter account ghetto walks, which like was really, obviously fake, like very, very real. Literally an absolutely notarized, real, uh, factual accounting of a guy that takes inner city school children to see the woods and they all talk about like, oh, what to leave? You know, like things like that, like, oh, I can see the stars from here. That's weird.

It's insane. It's like, you know, that colonialist thing people say where it's like, do you know that the Aztecs didn't even know what boats were when they were being conquered? It's like, it's like, it's like that, but done and like a shit my dad. It was the most racist Twitter account I've ever seen and I include like open Nazis because he would be like, oh, oh, uh, I run, I take inner city children on hikes. Um, uh, Duquan said, uh, damn, what that being, he was pointing at a river and it's like black children know what rivers are.

Yeah. No. Like even if they grow up with the inner city, not around nature, they have a basic understanding. Come on. You fucking dunce. Uh, it was. Yeah. I think that guy probably, probably writes for like modern family or something.

Oh yes. He absolutely caught a check. He writes for TBS. Yeah. Yeah. He, he, he caches that, uh, that TBS, uh, midday show check. Uh, no, like this reads like that, like, but it, but it's real. Like if you told me, if you just show me a clip of, of like the, the fab five, like just

sending on someone's family like that, I would assume this was like some sort of skit for like, you know, mad TV or something just like talking about, oh, like this, this showered Catholics nice, oh God, I feel like, oh, they have a shower too. Like a mad TV character that's like the gay, gay guy, like the guy who was so like over the top. Yeah. It's exactly that. It's a mad TV idea.

I was, uh, yeah. So what you're talking about where they like just ransacked the guys home and they're kind of saying, I was noticing when they went into his daughter's room. That's painted green. And I think Anthony said, it's the same shade of green as Midori liquor your father has in the basement. I was like, what the fuck? That was out of fucking pocket.

Oh, it is so. That was less. Dude, that girl's like eight. What the fuck dude? That is so funny. Oh my God. Yeah. So like, yeah, they do, they do several minutes of this until Karamo finds a MAGA hat.

Yes. Yes. This is like, this show is so like during Obama, it's so pre-Trump because it's like, it's like, oh, uh, oh, like, well, what if a black guy got pulled over, haha, like we know, like we self reflexively know that like black people get murdered by police, but it's like, it's a funny, awkward situation. Oh, look at this Trump hat. He could never win, but it's like a silly thing to have.

Exactly. Yeah. They haven't taken it all seriously. And when it does, it's just like, don't, don't do that. It's, that's not okay. Yeah. Move on. Nothing happened.

There was no like growth in that department. So yeah, they have a big laugh about like the MAGA hat. And then they find Corey's dead father's, he just keeps his dead father's shirts around, which is like, all right, I'm, I'm going to try not to sound like too much of an asshole during this one, but like his shirts, like, I don't, whatever, whatever, dude, there was a whole thing about how, but he just starts crying in front of them talking about the shirts. And then this is like smelling the pits of that shirt.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It smells yummy. Someone's dad was a fox, just like, oh, yeah. So their plan is they want to like sort of colonize the wife's living room. They want the wife's living room to be like a West Bank where it's like, we want Corey to be more comfortable and hang out here.

So we're going to merge, you know, your boring suburban, you know, the Southern housewife aesthetic with like just epic fat party dipshit. So they, they begin on their quest to like, you know, make this guy an epic sir. We're going to put him a goose to fat head on your wall. The first thing they put him through is Anthony taking him to like a farmer, like a, not a farmer's market, but like a boutique grocery shop, I would say, and he wants, he's teaching him how to make avocado and grapefruit salad. Anthony showing him how to squeeze fruit.

Yeah. Yeah. Corey's like, yeah, my wife wants me to eat healthy, but there's just no time in between calls and it's like, you are a police officer in a town of like 70. Yeah. You don't. Yeah. Yeah.

How many, how many like, and I just, I love Karama was the only black guy that was going through the county. Like, yeah. Yeah. Don't pretend. But I love that. That scene just like totally reinforces the idea that like probably most cops have that just like, I don't need fruits.

Those are gay. Yeah. Yeah. Squeezing, squeezing synthesis for women and gays. No. That's, yeah, that's exactly it because Anthony just goes squeezing every fruit he sees and Corey is like, what the hell? Yeah.

What the hell? What the hell is he doing that? Is he allowed to do that? Yeah. Corey is like, you can only tell when a watermelon is ripe by taking your gun out and unloading your clip into it. Yeah. That's how you tell when a fruit is ripe.

Yeah. Yeah. There's a very weird rhythm to this scene because there's no like, when you do a scene where you redesign something or like get somebody to wear something, there's like a beginning middle in it. But with this, it's just like in the soul looking at fruit. It's like he was taken from like, it's like he lived in a, he was on Sentinel Island, he was uncontacted and then he saw grapefruit for the first time and there was like, not

a whole lot you can do with that. So, you know, they buy the fruit, it's okay. But then he gets taken to TAN and TAN is going to teach him how to dress like a vice employee in 2014. Okay. Yes. Yes. They go out and get Ruka buttoned down short sleeves, they go get pork pie hats, they go

get, yeah. Seven-inch inseam shorts and chubbies, hell yeah. TAN's prescriptions are some of the funniest and like just utterly meaningless because it's like, Queer Eye is just another example of how our culture just encourages you to internalize any problem you have, like your house, you know, it looks like shit or whatever. It's a moral failing of your own spirit or something. But like what TAN does is like, just cuff your sleeve babe, just get a pair of like cropped trousers and you will be, you will be a brilliant, a brilliant person.

But he is. Also on top of that. He's my favorite part of the show. Imagine being a guy in rural Georgia who starts wearing a like pineapple printed button-up shirt with like cuff sleeves, like you're liable to be beat up, like you're going to be bullied and like you, you are like, you are making that guy a target by dressing him like a total fag. Like I, he's like, he's now going to be like bullied.

Yeah. The outfits that they had him try on were like, they had him try on like selvage jeans and a denim jacket and like a Fred Perry shirt. Like, yeah. Yeah. TAN was being really polite, but he was basically saying like, we're going to try to make you look less fat, which in the old show, they would have, the whole thing, which has been being bitchy was funny.

It had to like grand mission. It was just gay guys going in and like telling some straight guy, like you're fat and I hate you. But in this one, it's like, you carry a little extra weight in your middle region and a really good way of mediating that is unbuttoning a shirt at the top layers are your friend. It's just like, it's like, it makes you want to scream a pound your head against the wall. Yeah. No, it is.

Like they're doing HR for fashion and for like redesigning your life. Yeah. Daring you to think that you're a bad person because you're like, this guy is just fat. But yeah. Yeah. So they're done finding the casual stuff. He's ready to like, he's ready to write an article that's like, you know, smoking K2 with Ukrainian rebels.

That's how he looks now. So they have to go get him a suit. He's got to look like a fucking boss. And to show off like what a good suit looks like, they bring in this guy who just looks like Connor McGregor to demonstrate who it looks like. And like all of them want to fucking, they all think he's the hottest guy ever. Yes. It's just like a guy who goes to the gym twice a week and has like completely red skin for

some reason. But they're like, they're basically like, thanks for showing us the suit. Can we suck your cock? Totally. Yeah. They just like, what? Any time they're... Especially harassing this guy.

I know. Any time they're in a room with the subject or any man, really, it is just like, all in out, it's sexual assault. They're just like, we want, you look so fucking hot right now. That was almost like three seasons when they were all... They were all like, fucking go right now. Start bringing up bottles of poppers and shit. Yeah.

Imagine being a straight guy who's never gotten any attention in your life. And then there's just five gay guys trying to fuck you. It would make you feel so disoriented. So after that, yes, disorienting scene, we get... If that's disorienting, this is depersonalizing. Karamo and Corey have a long car ride back home and it is insane. It's fucking insane. What happens during this?

Karamo explains to Corey that during the fake pullover stunt, he totally shut down. It feels... It's really scary as a black person to be around police and that he just at that point didn't want to talk to Corey when they came to his house. And he realizes that he's a good guy now because they've seen him try on a suit. Because it didn't go insane when they saw the Polish guy just touch all the fruits of the aisle. He did produce his service weapon in air hole Anthony for mangling grapefruit.

So then Corey is like, well, you know, I completely know how you feel because I also get stereotyped. Like you get stereotyped as a black guy, I get stereotyped as a cop and Karamo is like yes, Karamo literally says we're both dealing with the same pain. It does go both ways and I'm glad you feel that way. Black lives matter. They weren't able to be heard and the police officers weren't able to be heard. If we could sit down and have a conversation like me and you just did, things would be

a lot better in society. Everybody wants to talk but nobody wants to listen. That's it. Oh my God, I didn't I didn't rewatch this episode. I didn't know that it was that just like up front. It is so insane. I haven't rewatched it either, but I did see this when it came out like the first, like when the entire shoes came out the same pain.

That was such an insane moment and I'm sure that like they had this talk like before this and this was filmed apart and like they didn't have anything to do with like after like it wasn't like an organic thing. It sounded like like it was as a talking point that okay, Karamo, you have to say we got to both sides this like this guy is going to go insane if you go like on about police brutality or whatever. Like just let it go like let it go and you have like five seasons after this to exactly yeah.

Yeah. It just dropped a brick struck in front of this fucking house. Exactly. I would probably do it. Like I'm going to be honest. I really want to judge. I would probably do that. Yeah, why not?

There was like a show where I had to like meet an anti-Semitic guy and be like, I totally get it. Like we have the same pain. Yeah. We're brothers for like seven hundred. We're brothers. We're brothers, man. You know what?

Yeah. I mean, I want to be queer-eyed for the free house, you know, and I think I'm a perfect subject. I mean, I'm unemployable. I live in a closet. I'm incredibly homophobic. I don't see why not. Yeah.

Please dominate me. I'd love to meet them in real life. Oh, speaking of nominations, before we go any further about the cop thing, I did notice that the cops, it wasn't the actual Corey who or the cop who stopped them. It was the guy who nominated. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which is insane because it's like very obviously it sounded like it was just a prank that they done on each other. And like the guy didn't actually need a queer-ification. I mean, of course he did because Jesus Christ look at him, but like they just didn't bar

get further. It's actually being real. They're just talking to each other after work, like after beating up five black guys, like ah, we're going to have the gay guys from Queer Eye come over to your house. One of that would be really fucking funny. No, yeah. They did get him. They did prank him.

They so. Yes. Yeah. So like they just have a serious heart to heart in the car, Karamo and Corey and they end it with like, yeah, police and black people, we both need to be heard. Everyone wants to talk. No one wants to listen. Oh.

And then they shake hands. So we transition from that immediately to JVN making a scrub for Corey's family. Seamless transition. Seamless transition. Yes. Oh my God. I mean, the show just perfectly flattens everything, all difference, all like power exchanges or whatever.

It's just like completely flattened. Nothing matters. Yeah. Nothing matters. Yeah. Tea. Yeah. No, wig.

She's spelled. Yeah. She's spelled. So the blonde dark triad guy has redone his entire living room to be sort of modern. Like there's stuff that both like a Pinterest wife and an epic fat party husband could like, there's like modern couches, but also like a flag folded up in a frame. Uh, yeah. So like they said, this is what I thought was weird is that as part of redoing the redoing

the living room, they fucking they're like, Oh, you know, all these pictures of your family that you just had in the basement and didn't hang up everywhere, we're finally hanging them up. And it's like, what the fuck just kept those in storage like I already saw them once. You don't need to see them again. Yeah. So, yeah. Now, yeah.

Now it just looks like a store in Greenpoint, uh, but now it's time for the fun part. Anthony's going to show him how to make us that grapefruit salad. Oh. In Gria. Yes. Yeah. This part is out. Anthony specializes in just and just stating your facts as if they're like revelatory.

I was like, this is an avocado and avocados are a stone fruit, which means that they have a seed inside of them and you just cut it and peel it and then you can eat it. It's like you're fucking restaurant owner and a chef. It's like that's it. And that proves that I mean the restaurant owner, the chef thing, you know, take it out of Hollywood, baby. He doesn't know what he's doing. You know, it's just, it was, it was, it was given to him.

Yeah. So, yeah, as part of the settlement, like forever, like did something awful to him. They're like, fine. Here's the restaurant. Yeah. Some awful studio head. So, you know, uh, he knows how to make the St. Reno. He knows how to make the salad.

It's time to put him in. He's ready. He's ready for his, uh, co-working co-worker cops to come over and call him a faggot. Yeah. Yeah. Avocado salad. So they, they put him in a blazer and he's completely red for some reason, like redder than he's been on the show.

I don't know. They're just fine with him being bright red. I mean, what can you do when you're red? It's becoming harder and harder for him to, uh, keep the homophobia in. He's like, I just, I just have to do this for one more day and I get the food out. Yeah, yeah, he's just, he's, he's boiling like a, like a crab. So they do their goodbye thing. He like cries and he tells Karamo that writing, writing in the car with him was one of the

best moments of the trip. Yeah. Now I can refer back to that whenever he pulls over a black guy and gives me a shit for like smelling like weed. I mean, it actually was the best moment for him. He got off and it's got free. Yeah. I don't do anything wrong ever, Corey, so as their, as their closing gift, they gave

him four tickets for him and his family to see Finding Neverland. That is so fucked up, man. So that is like the most fucked up part of the show. He's finding. Okay. Maybe I'm way up. It's fine. Finding Neverland.

That wasn't the Michael Jackson. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was Finding Neverland. It was Finding Neverland is like, it's like, you remember Wicked, like the musical about the Wizard of Oz or whatever. It's like the inverse of that, like so Wizard of Oz is the fiction one and Wicked is like like the fake.

So they try to they try to gain a gay brainwashes family as one as yes, but it's about like Peter Pan, okay, which is even more sus. So it's insane. Why would that? It's not over yet because the fat five are having Corey's friends over at their loft to watch Corey over Skype, make a salad and put on a suit. Yes. Yes.

They're all just like, they're all like, they're all like cheering for him. Like JVS like, yes, you shave your face Corey and Corey is just like as red as iron or being struck. Please do not acknowledge me. Do not speak to me. I'm here to collect my check. Yeah. Yeah.

And the wife comes home, sees the new house, she burst into tears because it's like, oh, yeah, I've always wanted to, you know, live in Williamsburg in 2015. So they, their final gift, Tan and the blonde guy, they made a quilt out of his dead, his dead dad shirts and that's a huge emotional moment and, you know, mission accomplished. Corey's got the quilt. It looks like it just like an evangelical pastor now, so he can eat avocados whenever he wants mission accomplished. We did it then.

We did it. Y'all mission. Yeah. They all they, all they need is, is like an aircraft carrier in San Diego, a massive, you know, flag of the United States, like banner to put on it and a big mission accomplished, you know, written in cursive because we're gay. That season in curls and T font. That season was in, in Georgia, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So they're, they're absolutely has to be a like very specific predatory like insurance policy for homes in Georgia that have been queried and are like on the verge of like being like a brand or something structural cracks appearing in the foundation or whatever. Do you remember that extreme home, home makeover show, like a lot of those families just ended up going bankrupt and being kicked out of their homes because when you raise the property

value on a place like that, like that drastically that, that quickly, like your insurance goes through the roof and I, I mean, probably same thing is happening for a lot of these people, right? It's like when you win the lottery and you spend all the money or all your friends come over and like, I mean, they just redecorate it. It's not a matter of like, like putting down walls or whatever. But yes, I agree that there should be a listing of those houses for fear of them becoming some sort of pilgrimage site for future faggots.

Yeah. Like overall kind of a psychotic episode considering number one, the amount of gay people involved in the making of the episode, number two, the fact that it takes place in Georgia and number three, the cop, number four, like all the MAGA shit from before Trump became a thing. It's just insane. Yeah. It is. It's a time capsule.

I mean, this next episode is not quite as fun. I mean, like the outline I have on it is even like, I couldn't figure out what was going on. Yes. You guys just described this episode, the Deanna Munoz episode. They skip over a lot. Like you can tell that they had something in the story where they, because the subject that got his name is Marcos, he does not speak English very well.

And so we wait, we watched a different episode. Wait, we watched a different episode. Fuck it. Yeah. Paul must have the Mexican episode. I looked up Queer Eye Mexican episode. There's probably a couple. All right.

Okay. You guys describe the ones, the one you saw. Okay. I watched one that is, it is also pretty disorienting, Felix. The title of it is, Father Knows Fish, which... Fuck, I almost watched that one. We were almost on the same page. That one's really funny because it's the, the title is like, Father Knows Best, but he's

a fishmonger. So they just like throw that together. It's like, actually your dad knows nothing but fish, I don't know if it's very straight. But he's, yeah, he's an immigrant from Mexico. He's a fishmonger and filly. And he, his English isn't very good. So the episode is, is pretty disorienting because they have all of these very intentional cutaways.

Like, like, like, they'll be having a conversation and Jonathan Van Ness or Karama will ask them something really deep and like, plunging about like family trauma or something. And then it will cut to Marcos and he'll just be like, yes, like they actually did not have a conversation at all and they're trying to scrap together, like the few like English phrases Marcos can get out with these, with a narrative that the production team is building. So it's a very strange episode as well. But yeah, it's called Father Knows Fish. They're in Philly for season five.

Five, yeah. And so they go and queried this Mexican immigrant fishmonger. And so it opens... Just like a regular guy who like doesn't look like he needs to be queried in particular. No, doesn't doesn't really need the help at all. And it's because in season five, they were querying businesses. Oh, oh my God. Okay.

I see that. Business owners, I should say. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. They did like a gym. They did a fish market. And I think there are a couple others.

They all had Pell Grants and had been working more than five years in a community of color. Yeah. This is literally the Kamala Harris. Totally. I was thinking like if like Warren had been elected, this would be her housing plan. Just like make the queer eyes go into every blinded community. There would be... Oh my God.

Like... Section eight housing designed to look like the King of Prussia Mall. Hell yes. I mean, yeah. That was like, man. I don't know what would have needed to happen for Warren to even win a single state, much less become president. A lot more babies needed to be killed for that.

Yeah. If she did, it's like there would be like every, every like impoverished neighborhood would have a statue of Jonathan Vendes that's illegal to like remove her to face. Yes. Like a federal felony to get rid of your JVN statue. Hell yeah. Okay. So this episode opens up there in their, they're still in their signature massive like

Magadet truck, they're all talking about their, their mission brief on, on Marcos. And they really, really hammer home the, like the American dream. In this episode, it's very much just like aspirational immigrant narrative. Marcos has like, I think he has six kids. Marcos has a running gag throughout the show where he is obsessed with Benjamin Franklin. Oh yes. This is like a signature thing that like a lot of Latino, like middle-aged people kind of have that, especially those that grew up in Latin America and emigrated here where

they would like, they have this affinity for, for America and this affinity for, yes, I, I love the ideals that the founding fathers or they have like some other like super weird person they look up to, like not necessarily like a founding father, but like Abraham Lincoln. And like, they only know like a couple of things about Abraham Lincoln. Well, it's because of the citizen Jip test. Yeah. I mean, when Magadet had to take it, he, yeah, he knows who like three politicians are. It's because of that.

Like those are the only politicians he can think of. Exactly. But with Marcos, it's like he doesn't even, he likes, he likes the idea. But a couple of times, he's just like, I like him cause he's crazy and people would think he's crazy and he did so many good things. It's like that, that's like it, like, it seems like something the production team is probably prompting him on, to be honest. But it's also like plausible that he just, that's just a thing that he does.

Yeah. And that's, that's something that a lot of immigrants do you have where they're just like, you know, they match onto the teeth. For this season, they had like an overall theme of like founding fathers cause it's in Philly and like one really funny thing they did when they were doing promo for this season was they had an advertisement that was all of the founding fathers on that little, that little boat, that painting. I don't know, do you know what I'm talking about?

Yeah. Across the Delaware. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was all of that. I get another like pretty, like, like just foot in your mouth.

Guys, we're the slave owners. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We just finished queering police brutality. Now these guys are queering. Yeah.

And the next fashion advice on this season is just handing out small, smallpox blankets to people. But okay, so they're, they're going over there. Marcos brief. He's a beautiful immigrant with a bunch of kids who owns a business and he wants to open a restaurant. Yes. And so they, they descend on his fish market instead of his home.

all of his family is there, they're overjoyed, screaming, very happy to have him there. There are many a gritos, Max, can you grito? Do you know how? No, no, but if you want to know what a grito is, listen to Linda Ronstadt's, as soon as they meet Padre, because there's a lot of them in that.

It's my mom's favorite CD. It's the signature Mexican laugh. Yeah. You've heard it in any like, any song from Mexico. But there are a lot of those. One of the queer eyes does a grito and it literally sounds like he's being hate crime. I think it's Bobby who says it.

He does sound like he's being Matthew Sheparded. It sounds like he's running down an alley and sort of like chasing him with a crowbar or something. But so they check out the fish market. They talk to Marcos about his dream of opening a seafood restaurant. They then go to the family's home, which they don't make over, but they still go to see it.

And they do the whole thing. Again, they like, they handle him like, they start twerking all of everything. They talk about how they want to fuck all of the, like inanimate, like kitchen objects. And it's a pretty standard, just like Mexican American home. They're all like giant crucifixes and all of that.

There's an altar for sure. There's an altar. My dad does this. And I know a lot of immigrants who does this. You have a hat hanging behind you on the wall right now. They love to hang hats on the walls and also guitars that they never play. I've never played, the strings have like,

it doesn't have any strings because they all snapped it like when they were moving or hanging it or like cannibalized for some other purpose. It's a signature immigrant home. Just things hanging on the wall. I've never heard about the guitar thing. Yeah, totally. It happens.

It happens for sure. My grandfather in particular, yeah. It's cause like every, like a lot of like men who immigrate to America from Central or Central America or Mexico, they all are like, or some of them are like, I'm going there to work, but there's an underlying dream of just becoming like a cool, like rock and roll guy.

You know what I mean? That is like, they wouldn't speak it because they're too proud, but like that is. They want to do Santana. Yeah, yes. That's the, oh, you should be able to declare that like on immigration papers. Like, we're coming here to be Santana.

You would freeze so many people from like ice, ice camps here by like just weeding out all the people who didn't want to do Santana in the States. Half the time it's not even Santana. It's literally just like whatever American rock is exported there. It's like they want to be in like creed or like the strokes, like the strokes even.

The strokes. This really is evil. The strokes, actually that kind of makes sense because like Mexico, that actually makes sense. The strokes, same thing with the strokes. Mexicans love the strokes. I know a lot of people in El Salvador who love Interpol, like for no reason other than, yeah, like they play it on the radio still.

It's huge there. It's huge. Yeah. Okay, so they go through the home, a motif of the episodes of this episode becomes Fedora, which Marcos loves. Again, the only person who can really pull off of Fedora without looking like just creed. Like an insane person.

Is it like 43 year old Mexican guy? Yeah. Yeah. The only person who can wear a Fedora. He pulls it off really well, by the way, to his credit. Yeah, even before the makeover, he looked like he was dripping. Yeah. Well, they give him a makeover and they just make him look like Scarface.

They give him like a safari hat and like a big Hawaiian pretty shirt and like linen pants. And they make him look like a drug lord. Yeah. Well, they make him look cool. They talk about the hats and Marcos says, you know, guys in Mexico tip their hats to each other. And when I immigrated here,

I didn't want to lose that tradition. And Anthony is so methed out and excited. He's just like, oh, my God. So that's like your hairpin. I didn't catch that. Y'all queen, your whole thing's being an immigrant. It's like, you know, it's so funny. I love when they have, when you can see just how like

Craven and like how driven they are to just like cementing a narrative. You know, because they're actors. They don't care about these, the subjects. It's just like they are only there to just establish a narrative. They're there to touch them and like sexually assault them. That's what I noticed with the two episodes I watched

was like, with Corey, it's like the only narrative they could find was like, isn't it great how we could be friends with this guy who like, ostensibly hates us. And that like, because there wasn't anything, there wasn't any interesting tension in his life. It's just like, well, I'm kind of a fat guy and my wife wants me to be like less disgusting.

Whereas like with Deanna, the one I watched, she was this woman who had a kid when she was 16 and was trying to get more in touch with her. Yeah. Oh, I've seen that one. But like, she didn't speak Spanish. And it was like, they were happy. They were so happy during that one

because they had like eight narratives they could work around. Yes. Yes. I remember that when she's really cool, I actually identify with her. Deanna, no, yeah, yeah, I like that. She was really chill.

It was just like, they could have done a better job. That one's not the producers because I thought she was cool. It was just like the way that they structured it left a lot to be desired. Like it didn't really, they should have like, I don't know. She has, they end up like, she has like some Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She like wanted, one of the few like NGOs that actually sounds like kind of nice. She just like wants to have a space where artists can work for free. And it's like, when I heard it, like when she was like, it started out, she was like, I work in Walmart corporate and I'm starting an NGO. I was like, pig awful shit.

And then like the more I got to see of her, I was like, you know what? She's like, actually not that. No, she's like nice. Yeah, yeah, there's a knock to it. Yeah. Well, I remember, I think there's a bit there where they're doing her makeover and they're like,

the chola look is a little. Come on. We need, we're gonna keep looking. No, they did not. They elevate the chola look. I think is what they did. We're gonna, they're gonna jet you. Yeah.

No, no. They let her keep the hoop earrings. That's what I remember. Yeah. They were like, you have to use less hairspray, but like literally it was use less hairspray but keep the hoop earrings. Not to be dramatic, but then in that same,

like then they do the same thing with the encomienda system like in the 1700s. Just like. Yeah. They went in and made everyone stop tweezing their eyebrows. That's it. That's it.

That's like, dude. That's Cesaro was JVN of Peru. He was like, I love what you guys have going on here with the gold. It's so great. He was wearing those gay fluffy pants and that neck frill and all that. And showing up to, showing up to Anka

and like taking people's quilts away replacing them with smallpox ones. So I mean, that, hey, look, that's literally true. Oh, 100%. Are you kidding me? It's always like, oh, I was born in the wrong generation. JVN really was. Oh yeah.

JVN would have been, he would have like made the term conquist or he would have put like an X at the end of conquist or he would have de-gendered the term conquist or I'm a conquist or eggs. But, oh my God. Have you guys heard of this? Have you? Jonathan Van Ness is surrounded with dead animals.

He has pets that just, what? What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go on. So he posted like, this is like a year and a half ago, maybe, but he posted this on Instagram where it was a selfie and the next slide was a picture of this like kitten and he was like,

I forget what the cat's name was, but it was just like seven paragraph, like four medium post. For this cat and it's like, I can't believe I lost Bubbles last night. I loved him so much. I'd had him for three weeks and you know what? And he's very evasive about what actually happened,

but you can kind of stitch together that. He tried to get in his ass and kill the cat. No. With Jonathan. All right. All right. Richard Gere Museum ass motherfucker. What he did was he left his window open

and the cat crawled out. Oh my God. Oh my God. Eric Clapton, no. And he tried to make a statement about this, but he was trying to like dance around the like the clear guilt and he didn't want to be like, I left my window open and my kitten crawled out of it,

felt his death. But then like a week after that, it was the anniversary of 9-Eleven and Jonathan Vanessa, one of the coolest things anyone's ever done is he filmed himself doing a yoga handstand on his roof. And again, it was like anniversary of 9-Eleven, y'all, here you go.

And it was like his like pudgy little body like elevated in the air as if we're like a building or something. But what became clear from that is that he lives in like a high rise in Manhattan and his cat probably felt like 50 stories. Oh my God, that poor cat got vaporized. Oh my God.

Yeah, that cat is, oh my God. I'm just tweeting about that. And then when I got fired from the campaign, Jonathan Van Ness was talking about how toxic birdie bros are for making fun of him. You know, the hate stick and whatever. Way to take it out of context, but he had a thread. It was taken out of context,

he had a thread about the bullying he has received and a few of them were screenshots of people saying that he burned his cat. It was like, this is such a toxic environment. They're calling me a cat. I would avoid mentioning that if I were him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.

No reason to. It's fucking dumbass. Y'all, it's time for me to clear the air on how my cat died. Yeah. Seven-paragraph, long and medium post, zero accountability, I am living and learning every day. I think we've got one.

She's going back to Guatemala, fuck that old cow. So I think we kind of like got the idea about Queer Eye. We're going to wrap this up soon, but like who, who's your guys is like, who do you like the most out of the guys on the show? Like who, who the fuck do you like actually like?

Cause JVN, I'm getting the sense that JVN is like the villain among people. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. JVN has done a lot of really heinous shit. Probably like one of the most kind of just like,

naked ambition, just like careerist thing he's ever done was when he did come out as a gender non-binary. Again, he has like he them pronouns, so it's fine. I'm calling him him. When he came out, it was in can, it was through an ad for a nail polish. Wow. Yes.

That's the first, that's the first time that Jonathan Benaz ever said anything about being gender queer in public. And it was like, it was an advertisement. Well, he got a paid for it. So I didn't get paid for coming out. Shit, I thought I should. I know, I should have saved it.

Yeah. You imagine making a complete industry out of coming out. Yeah. I want to come out in a subway ad and come out as non-binary queer in a subway ad and be like, to celebrate me coming out as queer, subway is making the foot long 11 and a half inches. They're, they're queering the foot long

by making it smaller to support me and my journey. My favorite one's probably 10. Yeah. Just because there was. Yeah. 10 is the most normal one. He's the most normal one. And there was a video of them all shooting

on Bernie in town. That's the only one that came to his. Yeah. Well, 10 seems to, I can only describe as accent as European, but he's definitely like the only guy who probably thinks of like healthcare as a human right. I feel for Anthony.

Anthony is very traumatized, but like. He's the most tragic. I can fix him. I want to fix him. You can fix him. Max is the fuck Anthony. He's also, also Polish. Yeah.

Also Polish. Again, I can fix him. All right. Yeah. So for everyone who, everyone who, you made the journey, you probably started listening to this podcast. You were just sitting on a pile of your dead, dead shirts.

You know, being a big, big fat party animal. Now you made it all the way through the episode. You, you have a bunch of like a modern, modern ass couches. You have like, you know, some dumb bullshit painted on your wall. You finally found out pictures of your family where you have Dora now. Yeah.

You live in Pottery Barn. Where can they complete the journey? Where, where can they find you guys? Well. Patreon and Apple. Seeking derangements. Google Seeking derangements. If you really want to help us out,

you could pay for our Patreon. That's nice. We could also DM Molly Klein, AKA Red Cajina. We really want her to come on the pod. Please DM her as many times as you want. And, and, and please like, I still don't really know who this bitch is, but she is, she is my goddess.

She is my queen. I can fix her, et cetera. No, you're, you're, you're querying everyone. Oh, they're querying people. They're querying people. They love her. Oh my God. The amount of birds,

the amount of bird carcasses that you can get out of her apartment. Her, her red control department in fucking Washington Heights that she's paid $60 a month for since 1973. God bless. Sounds like a queen. She is.

We're going to put the, the, both the Apple podcast link and the Patreon link in the episode description. Yes, sir. Ben, thank you guys so much. Well, I like, I want to keep watching the show, probably going to do this again. I have to find two more deranged fucking answers, but we're going to do this again.

Oh, I can also, I've seen all of them. Is he getting mad? Is he getting mad? Is he getting mad? Is he getting mad?